#probably will ask my mom but not today

[meownotgood]

I need to lay in bed and be held by aki while he rubs my back and maybe I cry a little

#or a lot #I'm not feeling good today #probably because I'm going to start my period in a few days #so that's why I'm upset #I have a headacheee #and then earlier my coworker texted me and asked if I wanted his shift #and I said no because I'm tired and not feeling good #and I was gonna make christmas cookies with my mom tomorrow #and he's like oh ok #and then he just texts me at 11pm and is like #'yeah nobody else will take my shift so u do it pls' #UUUUUGGGHHhhhh I DON'T WANT TOOOOOOOO #aki... hold me #I need to have a good cry #I'll feel better afterward

[swear2g-d]

.

#oversharing on the internet again hello #miserable because today my therapist decided to ask if i ever wanted kids and like. the answer is yes but i'm so terrified #of becoming my mother that i would never in a million years actually do it #i love kids i want them but if i'm anything like my mom... i couldn't do that. #and her response was the standard 'well if you're self aware enough to know your fears then you can work past them blah blah blah' but like #i would never chance that?? if my kids had my childhood 2.0 i would never forgive myself #i know she's right it's probably something to work past but i've already resigned myself to a childless life #& i have a sneaking suspicion that i'm infertile anyway so it doesn't even matter #i'm only 24 it's not like this is a pressing issue #is it standard practice to ask people with parental issues where they stand on having kids #all of my therapists have asked

[tardis--dreams]

I can't decide what's more frustrating. Job applications and communication with people there or trying to contact the doctor's office.

#what if i just died #i want. #a corona vaccination #idk if health insurance covers it #i want #a TBE vaccination #health insurance Should cover it but what if they don't #or what if the dr's office says no? #and i probably should get a blood test because that's what that doctor recommended every 6 months #BUT WHAT IF THAT'S ANNOYING AND I SHOULD JUST WAIT ANOTHER YEAR #and i have to ask if they take new patients because my mom needs a new family doctor #and NO ONE TAKES NEW PATIENTS #they will be so annoyed by my call #BUT THEY ALSO NEVER PICK UP SO I CAN'T EVEN GET THE CHANCE TO ANNOY THEM #okay #one last try for today #wish me luck #void screams

[getosugurusbangs]

every day i thank god that my mom is supportive of my design headcanons for characters because if i had to answer her questioning me about why i do it, i’d probably lose it

#shout out to my mom for this #literally earlier today she was like #”yknow. you could totally just copy the character down and everything- #-but i like how you interpret them in your own way” #and it made me happy #if she wasn’t supportive of it/was more nosy about it she’d probably ask me the most annoying to answer stuff #if my dad was into anime and knew the characters i draw. he definitely would ask the most annoying and infuriating shit #ANYWAYS since i’m on the topic of my design hcs. y’all wanna hear the reasoning behind some? too bad you’re getting it anyway #there’s some that i do for more practical reasons #then some i do just because i think they look good #like. i draw gojo with brown skin because when i started drawing him i only drew traditionally #and his eyebrows and eyelashes would show up soooo much better on darker skin #so i did that so you could just… actually see some of his hair 💀 #but then i draw geto with moles and piercings cuz i just think it looks good on him. same for yuta and toge too #i draw maki and mai with brown skin because i think it looks really nice with their hair color #plus i love seeing black cosplayers cosplay maki or mai. and so i was like “…yeah i should draw that” #anyways sorry for the rant 💀 #me.txt

[thewickerking]

had a dream I had a boyfriend and he wanted to come to a therapy session to talk abt smn unrelated to our relationship (this was 100% cool with me) but my therapist instantly hated him and she was like "justify to me why you're here 🤨🤨🤨 name something u like abt ridley and then maybe ill let u talk" like what 😭😭 it was just me being a mediator bc they were arguing. Which is insane it was like couples therapy but evil

#it was very strange.. the boyfriend was a completely made up guy also not anyone i know #also like. idr what it was but i wanted to talk abt it with my therapist and he was being encouraging and asked if him joining + keeping me #on track would be helpful and i said yes bc i thought it was/would be sweet and there was so much dread bc my therapist was MAD #i also remember we hadnt been dating for very long so i hadnt talked a lot abt him to my therapist prior but she was livid it was weird.. #i also was like. well. if she hates him maybe im stupid and we shouldnt be dating and maybe i should go die in a hole also #it was so strange.... hmmm. i have more thoughts now actually but that may be deeply personal.. #i will say my therapist kinda felt like my mom in the dream. i wanted her approval sooo bad. i met with my therapist today btw it was normal #like. i care what she thinks but its not as intense by any means and like. idk. i dont think im capable of having a normal therapist-patient #relationship. not bc of any therapist being bad at their job/boundaries i just get very emotionally invested in them as a person #IDK thats also complicated. maybe ill make that a different post or never talk abt it again well see. #so many thoughts in my brain but probably a bad idea to elaborate heavily. idk. maybe ill talk abt it with friends later maybe i wont 🤷‍♂️ #.ares

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[daincrediblegg]

WHY DO BARISTAS LOVE ACTUALLY GIVING ME FREE SHIT GIRL OH MY GOD

#today’s incident is as follows: walk in with my mom. they have chocolate espresso panna cotta #it looks fucking delicious it comes in chocolate cups. it is deffo too much espresso for me #we get to the counter. girl (whose first name is actually my middle name and we have bonded over this) takes our order. my mom asks if I’m #gonna get it. i say ‘nah’ and girl goes ‘OH WHAT WERE YOU GONNA GET?’. we talk about how cute the chocolate cups are #my mom ordered a croissant. so she hands us a box. get our coffee and leave #now picture me. at home #4:30 in the afternoon. #I go to the kitchen. to nibble on mothers croissant #LO AND BEHOLD #IN THE BOX IS THE CUTE LITTLE CHOCOLATE PANNA COTTA!!!! #she’s a little messy bc she was in my mom’s purse and she’s been sitting out for a couple hours #I down the divine thing over the sink full of shock and awe #SHE DID NOT CHARGE ME FOR THIS #THIS BITCH WAS PROBABLY LIKE 7 DOLLARS BC THIS IS ONE OF THE PLACES THAT OVERCHARGES #I COULD WEEP #what in fuck y’all why does this keep happening to me #anyway I’m going to have to burn this energy somehow but we’ll figure that out later but still

[bulletsfrank]

being online makes me feel so isolated because i cant reach out to a single soul without feeling terrified of the rejection. im too tired to be any kind of meaningful friend or even mutual, but i have absolutely no one in real life. i come online for my crumbs of socialization and human interaction that i desperately crave, but once i have it i just feel more lonely. like people talk to me out of pity, out of feeling sorry, or just that they will always have people they like more. i feel like a baby. i feel like someone who will always be watching everyone else live the life i desperately want through the lens of social media while i rot alone in the house that killed me before i was born

#honey's words #this is dumb. i will probably delete. but who else could i even tell #writing in my virtual diary today... #and i am soooo fucking stressed. being with my mom in the same house is literally killing me #i screamed at the top of my lungs and shattered my phone throwing it at the ground yesterday and i juzt feel so much shame #i keep crying i keep having episodes its all going to kill me if i dont leave #my car needs fixing but my mom only wants me to make money for her as always #i just. oh my god can i just actually kill myself #and she legit juzt texted me asking for a carton of cigarettes. haha . just another $50 i need to scrounge up #by driving doordash with my car that desperately needs fixing but i can't!! BECAUSE I HAVE TO GIVE HER ALL MY FUCKING MONEY!!! #please... no more. literally no more. i have to go back to sleep bc thats the only time im not wanting to die #im scared for myself genuinely. i dont think i can make it through this time. i dont think i will survive .. i wasnt made to. god i am #two steps away from begging the lord to help me and im an atheist ahiwjsjs. there has to be some kind of relief.

[darkdragon768]

COMMON GROCERY STORE W

I FOUND WARIOWARE GOLD

#dragon's stupid thoughts #AMAZING DAY TODAY #MY JOY IS IMMEASURABLE #do I take a break of pla for that? #hmm idk probably not as I'm in a pokemon mood rn #but GOD am i happy #my mom was telling me she goes to that store (but a different one) again and asked me if I'll come with her #THANK GOD I DID #but every time before I go to a place that sells video games I'm like ''haha wouldn't it be funny if I found game xy? nah will probably #never happen'' EXCEPT IT DID HAPPEN

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Real quick PSA for the followers, just to make sure my positions are clear on some issues and to make sure I am not causing any unintentional harm (that devolved into a minor hiatus):

-If I'm intending to talk about something specific, I'll mention it, I promise.

-I do be forgetting that you all recognize me on both my A03 and my tumblr. It is surprising to me every time. I tend to be vERY flippant on here, especially in my tags. I think we have reached a point where I should be more careful lol. I am not used to having an actual effect, so if I have an effect you don't appreciate, or I say something hurtful, please please bring it up to me! Dms, anon, replies; idc, I'm always down for a conversation.

-I am not in the business of apologies I do not mean, and I certainly do not back down from my opinions, I think that's been fairly clear. So, if I apologize it's because I mean it, and that won't change.

-I make a lot of posts that are critical of fandom culture in a lot of different fandoms, and culture around specific characters as well. I want it to be very clear that unless I am directly interacting with another user, then the criticism should never surround anyone specific. I never want to direct hate ever, unless I'm tagging.

-If there are questions about the appropriateness of my headcanon posts in response to asks, that can be changed. I would really hate to be making my very small community uncomfortable. I had thought I was fairly clear on the blogs boundaries and what I think is appropriate, but perhaps I haven't been careful enough. Please feel free to address issues with me, or to block me. That is always an option of course.

Uh, that being said, I might take a couple days. I have used this blog for fun and friends since 2015, it's not my first time fucking up nor will it be the last. But, it's upsetting to me that my blog might be harmful to some (who I hadn't intended it to be harmful to, it's always been an active warzone for irredeemable character excusers lol, since 2015). The queue will go on as usual but no new posts for a bit while I figure out if things need to change. I'll respond to DMs tho, probably, bc I'm obsessed with my mutuals.

#rip to the finish the asks today mission I was on #i'll probably feel less bummed tomorrow hopefully #but i have disturbingly strict morals for some reason and it makes me upsetty spaghetti when i feel like i wasn't living up to them #but again; this is not aT anyone please god i'm simply wordvomitting #what i said got me here and that is my fault of course and thats fine that's a non issue #i just am now worried that i was being harmful before that #my therapist also named melissa is gonna love this #i have a list going of things i think we need to discuss and before today it was “i should be diagnosed with something” #“is it bad to keep peer pressuring my mom to get a new dog” #and “what does it mean that when my mom folds my clothes i have to refold them like marie kondo” #now we finally have a real topic lollll #that kid at work better not say everything is my fault when i make him wash his hands again i might loose it #that was a joke for claritys sake #gimmie a day or two to put back on the armor back on lol #i am moral and always have a clear well written and opinionated answer that i feel strongly about #and won't ever change my position on and everything i do is for the good of the oppressed #that armor #hubris is the ultimate enemy of self doubt #that is another joke #melissa og #melissa bullshit

[allylikethecat]

as someone who knows absolutely nothing at all about horses / horse riding, i am. obsessed. with all the king's horses. i loved the new chapter 🥰

Ahhhh thank you so much for reading!! I know this AU is very niche (and that myself and maybe like three other people are the target audience lol) but I am just so thankful for all of the support it has received and that people are still willing to give it a chance! I have so much fun working on it (and was literally flatting my horse after work today day dreaming about the fic lol) and I love horses SO MUCH so getting to combine these two things makes me extra happy! Thank you SO MUCH for reading, and if you ever have any horse questions let me know! I've been trying to make things clear to not horse people as well, but if I ever get too "nerdy horse girl" about it let me know! Thank you for reading and your kind words about the new chapter and sending this ask!! I hope you had a wonderful Friday and that you have the best weekend!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #keep it kind #matty fic #gatty #fanfic #All the King's Horses #Equestrian AU #literally this fic has consumed my thoughts #I had the arena to myself today and I was just cantering around on a loose rein lost in thought #granted that probably wasnt the safest thing for me to be doing but it's fine Pop is pretty safe and i know his like three moves so well #muscle memory usually takes over when he does anything silly #which he didnt #other than being a little excited about his lead changes lol which is very normal for him #he gets super excited and is like I DID IT MOM #omfg i love him so much #i started crying while grooming him today because i love him so much #and i had seen an article about a trailer accident and just got all emotional because horses are so special and so delicate #ugh #sorry that got heavy #thank you for reading!!

[justthatspiffy]

.

#my mom's cousin calls us every sunday to chat #she is mentally handicapped and so sometimes doesn't pick up on things #and she loves talking about church #and she asks if i went to church #and most weeks i'll say nope #and she'll say why #and i'll say i didn't feel like it or i was working on a project #and today she said why didn't you feel like it #and i said it didn't make me feel good #and she said why #and i said i'm in a fight with god and we need some space #and she's quiet and her brain is buffering #and she's like will you feel like going next week #and i'm like probably not #and she's like why not #and i said well god's pretty big so a fight with god is pretty big #and her brain buffers some more #and then bless her she was so concerned if i was doing okay #and internally i was like girl i have to be we can't have this conversation #anyway lots of people describe their leaving religion experience as filled with anger #but i'm just here years of slowly slogging through mud #i might be ready for proper anger soon i think to some extent it's warranted #but idk it's a lot

[sluttyten]

Romantic/dating anxiety is definitely a thing (to me). I just steed into the dating world for the first time last year at the ripe age of 26 and when I tell you I’ve been anxious every time I’ve matched with someone/received a message complimenting me before we can even have a conversation/agreed to a date… it’s intense to say the least but I believe in us!

Definitely definitely a thing, like I’ve managed to give myself a decent stomachache just by overthinking this since it happened.

I don’t know what to do lmao because I have 0 experience, and like I just texted my best friend about, I shoot down every person that ever asks for my number or shows interest in me but then I also literally am always like…. looking for someone to be interested in me, but also like as soon as I know for sure they’re interested I don’t want them to be, and also I think I just feel awkward if the person is younger than me, so like when one of my coworkers clearly had a crush on me but he was like 5 or 6 years younger than me so I felt that was weird, and then this guy I don’t even know how old he is either so like that feels fucking awkward to me because nobody ever thinks I am my age, which right now I’m 27 😭 and the other day a girl I work with thought I was 23, which is a compliment but also like I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me 😭😭

#asks #I definitely have social anxiety to some extent though #like literally even the idea of going and hanging out with my best friend half the time I want to cancel and we’ve known each other for #like 12 years by this point if not actually 13 years #and then there’s my friends I’ve actually made at work I always get nervous to hang out with them even tho I see them all the time at work #and I genuinely like them as people #but I don’t fucking know 😭😭 I don’t know what I want and I’ve tied myself into a ball of anxiety so I just want to go home and shower and #curl up in bed except that I also had kinda made plans with my mom to go to target today #ALSO though like if I do respond and if this guy does ask me out on a date this week would be a good time #because since I live at home and since my parents (specifically my mom) are kinda overprotective and since I’ve never been into dating I #feel like they’ll ask me a million questions if I mention a guy or going on a date with a guy #and they’re gonna be gone this week so if I was to go out it would be the perfect chance to go without having to answer questions #but honestly 😂😂 that makes me nervous too #I need to text him back because since he’s a regular and since I work regular hours he’s probably got a general idea of the hours I work #which is also mildly weird to me #I overthink everything btw #I’m stressed 😭😭

[mxwhore]

#its almost eleven am #just woke up #ive been a lucid dreamer since i have memory #its probably a defense mechanism. from all the nightmares lmao #but today #in my dreams #my mom came asking for good remedies for a fever #i asked who has it and she said maybe you. you wont stop taking your blankets off while you sleep #and then my dad came into the room #and i held them both and said #ayudenme. incluso en mis sueños no puedo dejar de estar triste #help me. even in dreams i cant stop being sad #im #wow #thats not good #anyway i woke up crying and i cant stop #im gonna #make breakfast perhaps

[strayheat]

so i just came out to my dad

#this is a bot acc that followed me months ago pfp lmao #anyways. not planned #but he did ask straight up so 🫶🫶 #took it so fucking neutrally idk if he had whiplash this strong and hid it away to deal with later or what LMAO we just moved in with the #conversation. which was about the fact that its high timefor me to buy a dress just a swift back to the topic 😭😭 #guess i'll tell my mom later today cant wait to cry again #also wonder what pride month will be like. if theyre gonna like . act any different /pos i assume #dad's probably gonna be neutral mom may try to be cute and do something<33 #eventful day at work from home LMAO 🗿🗿🗿🗿 #straytalks

[a-concert-just-for-me]

I want to go to the Celtic fair to listen to some music and watch the eclipse at their event…Who wants to go with me? /j

#jess rambles #who to ask… #my mom is sick #and I don’t trust any of my friends to not bail on me if I were to ask them #I’m going to ask my sister but she might be busy #I’ll go by myself if nothing else kdbdkdn #or at least to an eclipse viewing in my community up town #we’ll see #I’ll probably just end up going to the one in town :( #since the other one is a bit far to be going to by myself #anyway what are any other western hemisphere homies on tumblr.com doing today for the eclipse? #I’m excited for the eclipse today