#ppl ask me abt stuff that happens in like book 4 and shit and im like fuckkk i dont know
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in case anyone has not noticed I love the first book but rarely read any of the other ones 😔 sorry
#ppl ask me abt stuff that happens in like book 4 and shit and im like fuckkk i dont know#toe talks#abt kotlc btw#thats why im such a big dex fan tbh hes so epic in book 1 but kinda irrelevant in the rest#some of the books i own so i read them every once in a while but like the last book ive never read#and books 2-4 i gave away in like 6th grade so i havent read them since then. i just go off of what u guys tell me about them#but i am an EXPERT on book 1 🫡
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hii so in a post you wanted someone to talk abt their mlp headcannons, i’m getting into mlp rn so id absolutely love 2 hear them! (also just a question from a new tumblr user, can you see my asks on my page?) feel free to message them or whatever tumblr response mechanism there is! ^ω^
-not forcing, Moss ^^
AH HI MOSS !! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK :] 💖
first off , yes i can see your ask button !!! and welcome to tumblr :)
i tried to respond to this 4 times and i lost all my text and almost cried so im gonna make this much shorter than it was supposed to be (8 paragraphs) 😞 PROBABLY A RELIEF FOR MOST OF U THO LOL i have too many headcanons but here are some of my headcanons and /or “perfect world” scenarios for mlp g4 :)
i cant put all of my hcs here but im gonna put the ones i tell most ppl !!! ALSO NOT ALL OF THESE ARE IN THE SAME UNIVERSE!!! (if anybody wants more, ask me something specific .. >:3 nyeheh)
💜 - the mane six minus twilight have all been friends their whole lives, but not as a friend group until twilight came along!!
🩵 - branching off of the last one, rarity has made outfits for ALL of the ponies before !! but pinkie pie has been by far her most loyal customer because yk she throws parties like triweekly !! rarity mostly specializes in dressmaking but can also make other types of stuff . :) pinkie pie and fluttershy both seperately have taken some sewing classes from rarity cuz they alwayss loved her stuff :)
💛 - fluttershy runs/works a petshop/veterinarian clinic
💖 - at some point , pinkie pie moves out of sugarcube corner and runs her own nightclub !! (but like its not a naughty club, this is ponyville we are talking about here !! just lots of candy and soda and DANCING AND GAMES :3) and pinkie pie would be the funnest momma evr >w<
💙 - rainbow dash becomes a coach for the wonderbolts / some sort of coach :)
🧡 - applejack would grow up and continue to just run her family business and have a family of her own !! applejack would be a very caring mother but also she wouldnt take shit from anypony!! if anybody bullied her kid she’d have to try so hard not to kick anypony that bothers her and her kids
🩵 - rarity never expands her business or gets big, but she’s happy with it! her store is independent and a gem that many talk about all around the nation. :) she would be a fun mom but she would spoil the kid a lot lolz
💜 - twilight works at a school as a science/math/magic teacher, book author or a librarian! she would be a pretty average mom IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE just saying she’s just your average girl!! but she has lots of knowledge to share :3 !!
🩷 - either:
-mane six all are alicornized. you cant just give the order keepers of the nation some fancy crystals and tell them to go on with their day while one friend who happened to be a rich unicorn who went to a unicorn school and got hit with a rainbow beam turns into a goddess and you have to watch her outlive you, you make them all goddesses or none of them. especially if the gifted unicorn never asked to be alicornized.
or
- twilight and cadenza rule together. cadence was done so dirty :( she was given goddess powers just to be sent to a Far Off Land and the Twilight was favored to just RULE A WHOLE NATION ALONE. insanity. also they have been friends / chosen sisters for the longest time. this scenario would not only give cadence a better storyline, but also spit in the faces of “theres already 5 alicorns” ❗️
~
there was nothing about vamp rarity because i havent expanded on her yet <//3 and also you guys have yet to see my whole cross-race breeding chart.. >:P
but thats all for now TwT sorry it still got long , i hope you or somepony enjoyed !! if anypony draw/write something off of these PLEASE tag me just cuz i NEED content with these !!!!!!! :33 plzplzplzplz and tag me in any pony art/writing/ etc :3 anybody feel free to ask for more !!! bye bye <33
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Its really funny and weird how, of all the european pagan mythologies, greek is the one white ppl know the most of by far.
Like, of course it makes sense, greco-romans were hailed as the peak of civilization by white european elites at least like, twice in history, but it’s still really wild like. We’ll know the names of every olympian and what exactly their deal is, know like 20 different random greek monsters who only appeared in like One Story,
but then u ask abt the british isles, site of a people who would eventually colonize the fucking world, and its like “uhhhhhh theres morrigan? Also some fairies. Is morrigan a fairy? I think there were some tree worshippers. Some dudes put blue paint on their body and had big shields i think?” and a book’s gonna claim there was an irish potato god and you’re going to believe them bcs you’ll be so wrapped up in the potato famine thing that you’ll forget potatos were IMPORTED FROM THE ANDES MOUNTAINS.
And then like folks will be familiar with like 4 norse gods maybe 5, know some words like asgard and ragnarok, but ask them who fenrir is and theyll be like “Is he important?”
Also if you ask them about germanic mythos they will draw a fucking blank bcs even tho the general public are familiar with at least a few germanic mythos things, we completely stripped out the germanic origins from them when we called them generic “fairy tales.” Same for france and the iberian penninsula i think. Also dont ask me which fairy tales come from where bcs i am a prime example of this, i do not fucking know, i just vaguely remember that they came from certain places and then spread from there.
Oh And absolutely FORGET about anything east of germany fucking forget about it. The slavic regions have a rich mythos and even ppl who are pretty knowledgable abt the stuff i said above won’t know shit about it, case in point, me! Go ahead! I know a bunch abt celtic stuff and norse stuff and a lill bit of german stuff, but ask me to bring up ONE slavic story! The only thing my brain is cookin up is that one about the lindwurm, and even that one i cant remember if its actually slavic!
Now Think abt how many white people claim heritage from places in europe that arent greece and italy. Think about how little those same ppl know abt their ancestor’s prechristian stories and beliefs. Im hispanic i know like one thing abt pre-christian spain and its that they had a funny word for fairies (i don’t even remember the name!), just as an example. Like isnt that fucking insane? You’d think a buncha colonizing douches competing with each other to take over the world would put a bit more effort into educating ppl abt the ancestral stories that set these guys apart from each other, but no, not really. And like dont get me wrong its not like this doesnt make sense. It does. The roman empire and later christianity overtook like all these myriad cultures years before colonialism and white supremacy was even a pipe dream, to say nothing about the internal strife that happened in the iberian peninsula and the british isles.
But at the same time, in recent years there’s been massive pushes to recover this lost culture (especially in those british isles places that arent england), and even with this effort, so much is unknown to a fuckton of people who, i repeat, claim heritage from these places. (In fact, one of those efforts probably set us back bcs it got caught up in bullshit ideology and mysticism and grabbed stuff from totally different people to support a bullshit point. Looking at you, nazis.) and it’s just kind of insane. Overall this is just a peak example to me of the hollowness and artificiality of the concept of whiteness. The master race can’t even remember their own ancestors, and ancient history had to be wiped away or made generic in order to support the notion that these people have something in common, and thus, something setting them apart from everyone else.
#mythology#race and ethnicity#this is a very broad strokes rant so i implore you to research the shit i casually referenced here fr yourself#also if ur wondering: this rant brought to you by a streamer who played the new god of war and didnt know who fenrir was#very amusing but also emblematic of a broader trend#YES THE POTATO GOD WAS AN ACTUAL THING THAT AN ACTUAL NEOPAGAN BOOK WROTE DOWN UNIRONICALLY#mainstream wicca has some Problems.#and for the record i think our understanding of greek mythology and religion is superficial#like yeah we know most of the stories but also only the biggest brain classicists comprehend the ideas and context of those stories#yeah its more than we know of Everyone Else but its still p lacking#like how many people know that Chaos is a person#how many ppl know abt all the cults and mysteries and how they had different takes on certain figures
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👁👁 LMK GENSHIN AU??? I AM L I S T E N I N G
OK OK A COUPLE PEOPLE ASKED SO HERE I GO NO THIS WILL NOT BE FORMALLY WRITTEN :SMILE: 'm just gonna ramble!! aannndd hope i make some kinda sense
theresss gonna be some holes and things i havent come up with n ill mention them but ppl are lucky ta fill stuff in with their own ideas n feed this brainrot<33
okaayyy so first is mk right
so abt mk's vision,, mk is like the last in the little hero group to get a vision. hes been tryin for SO LONG to get one and ever since mei got hers hes been kinda more driven to get one himself. he knows theres like- special circumstances involved n hes been tryin to like get that cool thing to happen so they can get theirs but,,, nothins worked yet yknow
mk like tries to make guess abt what vision theyre gonna get one day and mei thinks mk is gonna get pyro and like woah cool just like his da-- i mean pigsy!!! so hes not sayin itd be his one and only choice but thinkin about it and what tang has said abt visions he thinks pyro is def possible bc hes real passionate about a lot of things!! like his job and his friendships and MONKEY KING LORE and yknow all that good stuff
so he gets it after doin somethin similar to the big fight at the end of a hero is born just- beatin' the SHIT out dbk ig along with his friends and while hes there and struggling but knowin he has to defeat this guy for the sake of everyone he ends up getting his vision and he doesnt focus on the element too much (it does end up being geo) at first its more just HOW TF DO I USE THIS NOW.. but he ends up doin somethin real wacky and BOOM dbk gone 4 now
and like after all that is over n we're back to chilling he and the others r like celebrating bc WOO mk got his vision AND we defeating a huge demon!! and mei is like huh i really thought u were gonna get pyro like me and tang is like pushes up glasses well acTUALLY-- and proceeds to explain why geo visions r given to people and all that and while mk does have a lot of passion which would make it make sense 4 him to have a pyro vision hes far more hardworking with his job already and now that hes monkey kid hes gonna b working even harder to protect people
mk's been working hard all his life really, not just with his job and now defeating demons, hes been working hard to get a vision so he could be something greater, his bio parents he doesnt remember much about but they were always so unimpressed and demanding so he tried real hard to live up to their expectations and make them happy because he wants his friends and family 2 be happy,, and hes always tried hard to be something more than what he is as he got older and all the monkey king stories really inspired him a lot and thats why hes loved all this lore and stuff for so many years but like,, he could never be a hero like that,,,
oh wait
anywho mk is a geo polearm(?) user, dunno if ya could call the staff a polearm buuut thats what im goin' with
hes also got monkey king's abilities along with the geo ones so ohu boy,, ill talk more abt that part when i get to wukong and mac
ALSO I FEEL LIKE MK COULD ALSO BE PYRO AND I COULD CHANGE IT BUT,, I LIKE GEO TOO,,,,
oops all pyro traffic light trio????
next is mei who is a pyro sword,, i dont know much abt her backstory/vision story yet sooo if ya wanna spit some ideas im all ears BC I FEEL BAD NOT HAVIN MORE STUFF FOR HER
i dont got much for red son either buuut heres what i do got;
red son kinda already has,, magic of sorts bc,, yknow partial demon (in this hes only like,, half technically. yknow how yanfei is like half adeptus-) but its amplified a bunch by the vision and WOO FIRE and theyre a pyro catalyst honestly debating on whether or not they wold have a book or whatever that other floaty thingy is called but like when i imagine either they kinda look similar to dodoco tales or blackcliff agate hmm,,
red's two big passions are building and cooking- his tech could possibly rival that of fontaine's advancements if he wanted it to,, they actually take some inspiration from the works of fontaine as well
as for the cooking, u already know, spice master. i want a cooking battle with them and xiangling- they'd laugh at the hottest option on the menu at wanmin
red son got their vision pretty early in life- a bit older than he was in canon,, which was still a problemmm and ya can guess why,, demon power fire element amplification little tempermental fire demon boy go boom boom samadhi fire or somethin,, so yeah theyre not as powerful as they could be and the vision was actually taken from them until they were older and more mature i suppose
red doesnt remember this- they think they got their vision at an older age since it kinda just appeared by him one morning
tang is dendro but like he doesnt fight so he hasnt found a weapon yet- i think itd be real funny if he was a CLAYMORE or maybe a sword bc of that one episode yknow the one,, but honestly catalyst could work too and hed def have a book one if so
dont got a backstory or vision story for him either :(
nor do i have much for pigsy but pyro,, somethin. y'all can add to pigsy's stuff if ya want i also feel bad for not havin anything for him but passion = cooking woo
sandy,, hydro catalyst def and hed have a book one too,, i think its a little funny seein this huge ass dude and ur like "oh he could totally wield a claymore" and he could but hes got his little magic book and could still beat the shit out of anyone (not that he would unless needed,, but he COULD)
mo. thats it. just mo.
now to the two givin me the most trouble,,,, wukong and macaque
i didnt think too much abt what visions macaque and wukong would have bc like,, they have a lot of powers that could fit each vision really and i was like "AUGH should wukong be pyro or geo or maybe anemo???" and like "should macaque be cryo maybe but agghh electro could also fit but GAH"
could they be like,, adepti maybe?? m not sure,, im thinkin adepti with no like specified element but aaauuggh
or maybe its a traveler sort of deal with like all the elements but i like the adeptus thing a bit more-
then again uhh genshin lore,,,,, yeah i can not keep up with all of it</3 so if it makes no sense it makes no sense,, y'all might have 2 catch me up if somehow they wouldnt b able to be adepti but i still wanna keep somethin similar to monkey king's whole story n whatnot,,
last thing uh,, mk part adeptus or at least starting to match adeptal power now that hes got the staff and monkey king powers?? not sure again genshin lore is,, tricky
and then that plus the geo vision
wellll thats all i gots for now,, if i come up with more ill post it, but for nows this is the basis
again feel free ta add or share thoughts cause this is very unfinished and like one of those things u think of and throw into ur notes at like 5am and i somehow put no thought and a ton of thought into it at the same time<//3
OK THANKS 4 LISTENING TO MY DUMB MONKEY PLUS GENSHIN THINGY
#lmk#lego monkie kid#lego monkie king#lmk macaque#sun wukong#lmk sun wukong#lmk nezha#lmk mk#lmk mei#lmk red son#lmk tang#lmk pigsy#lmk sandy#genshin#genshin impact#lmk au#genshin impact au#this is one of the more random things ive made#spoctalks#rambling abt monkeys and elements for what
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Season 3 notes popping off
due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.
ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?
ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.
ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.
ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes
ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.
ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.
ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.
ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.
ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.
ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.
ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.
ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.
ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.
Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.
Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?
ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?
ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.
ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!
ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?
ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again
110: who wants to bet its a leitner?
111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.
112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...
113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough
114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?
115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?
116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.
117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.
118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.
119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!
120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.
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ello ive been sleepy 😴 9 hrs eryday lately but ofc I got neck pain 🙄 I got hit on by an old dude who tried to ask me for s** ugh I got extremely objectified.. dysphoria hit me after that also got triggered because of memories of a similar past experience 🤪 im good tho now I've been listening to music to go to bed very relaxing, I discovered jack harlows music he's alright also did you see lil nas new music industry baby? Idk if you like that kinda music but im sure you can appreciate the mv . Im also afraid of bugs I know were the same person at this point, mine started with the butterfly episode of spongebob 💀 😂 my winter depression is coming my summer anxiety is mostly GONE tho which is good in some ways bad in others. who do you watch on youtube just for curiosity ? my meds are late 😪 Idk if im gonna have tomorrows, here's something fun fact abt me tho, Wellbutrin xl , some personality to the me if you ... idk ppls kind of medicines says things abt them idk idk ✌ ☮ ❤ 🤟🤙🤙❤🌷
hiiiiii! so sorry that happened:( i'll kill him for you. i take welbutrin too......... we are so connected. my music taste is insane i listen to a lot of stuff but also nothing. i like lil nas x but i dont listen to his stuff. and jack harlow sounds familiar but... yeah. my youtube taste is awful. popular commentary people most of the time. but for actually good youtubers...eleanor neale, mina le, khadija mbowe... my friends and i talk abt nexpo's videos a lot. i tried to give some variety. um dude i've been totally awful recently to be honest. lost a friend group over stupid shit. again.😭. last ask i mentioned my friend mischa? we are no longer friends. literally an hour after i answered your ask. i'm trying to get over it but 💔. im going to baltimore tomorrow!!!! well today in 7 hours. haha. i need to sleep. i'm excited but nervous bc i feel super sick the past couple days :( a 4 and a half hour car trip will not help. i've completely changed my hannibal serial killer idea. oops. im such a genius for the last one but now im like ughhh but i want it to be PERSONAL. someone my oc knowssss. and can eventually kill. so im trying to work w that. trying to make her like an artist and the killer is copying her art but with murder... its a work in progress. i read one where a guy was copying the murders in a book series someone wrote. i saw my psychiatrist and she was proud of me🥺😭. got put on guant-something for adhd. yahoo. if it doesn't work i finally will get to try stimulants or whatever. i just have the feeling thats what im gonna need LMAO! last but not least i forgot to do my homework tonight. um.... and its due sunday and we're leaving to baltimore til tuesday. and i need my laptop to do it. but then i'd have to bring the stupid thing..... ok i'll just bring it. and do it at night secretly and pretend i didnt forget about it. perfect. its a really easy practice quiz but i'm a cheater. i need my laptop so i can search the answers on my phone. i have no excuse for this
#5 daily things#i guess my excuse could be i have adhd and cannot physically make myself learn what i need to. but i wont#make excuses.#ok good talk bestie#asks#long post#sorry i had soooo much to say i love when we talk about other stuff too
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1. What's the cringiest memory you have as a Twilight fan? OR the happiest memory? 2. Has Twilight influenced your fashion choices, personality, and so forth? 3. What about Leah Clearwater resonates with you? 4. What's your favorite Jacob scene in the books and movies? [You don't have to answer all of them, no pressure. Thank you!]
let me just say this is my favorite ask in the world. I cried a couple times and I honestly think it’s made me re-evaluate my life. these kinds of asks are My BrandTM and I’m legitimately honored that you’re interested! ilysm 💕
im on mobile and im about to gush abt stuff so keep mf scrolling
1. my cringiest memory is a tie between going to walmart at midnight for the dvd premieres of eclipse and breaking dawn part 1 (and maybe breaking dawn part 2 but i literally can’t remember at this point) and like........going to the seattle twilight convention in 2011. but now that I think about it, it wasn’t cringey at all! i was 13 and it was the single best day of my life. i got up early with my mom that morning and we drove the half hour it took to get to downtown seattle from our house. the girls of the hillywood show hosted and i got to meet them. i later attended panels with tyson housemann and booboo stewart and julia jones 💕💕💕 it was julia’s birthday but she didn’t mention it, humble queen. and omg she wore a tank top and threw a football around........what a woman. booboo also did a backflip in that hotel lobby lmfao. but besides seeing the cast, that slday was incredible bc i won twilight trivia against a bunch of ppl (including grown ass adults) lmao. that was so incredibly fun. best day of my life as a twihard.
wait but BITCH I forgot I went to forks w my dad in 2013!!! the town was dead as fuck but it was so fun 💕💕💕 I did a bunch of tourist shit but I’m so glad I finally went and I’m so thankful for my dad for taking me no matter how bored he was. that was amazing
2. twilight was my first Thing as an adolescent. i got into it when i was 11 years old. it has shaped so much of me, but most importantly, my opportunities to make friends, as well as my music taste bc of my friends from these websites putting me on to new music. the soundtracks ofc put me on to new music too. but anyways, some of my best friends since middle school were people I originally met on twilight fan sites or the 2012 taylor lautner fandom on twitter. twilight was also the longest book I’d read at the time, so it upped my reading habits. and I’ve also loved writing since I was little (like 8 years old) but discovering fan fiction made it that much more fun. I’ve always loved writing and fan fiction enabled my love for it, even though most of my fics were shitty. I had (and still have!) so much fun. in terms of fashion, I had a phase where I liked flannels bc of bella but I definitely dress cuter now than anybody in those movies lmaoo.
3. now Leah Clearwater......LEAH CLEARWATER. she’s always resonated with me in that shes a woman of color and NOT afraid to show others how she feels, no matter how annoyed or uncomfortable everyone else gets because of it. she was hurting and didn’t hide it (not like she could, but still). she made sure she was heard despite all those boys telling her to shut up. and also, her protectiveness over Seth reminds me of how much I care about my younger brother and wanna shield him from everything bad in the world, even when he’s being a dumbass. but overall I think of leah as a huge breath of fresh air in that she’s one of the only characters who not only criticizes the Cullens but Bella too. she also has that brand of humor that’s kinda mean but very true and I’ve definitely embodied it for at least the last 12 years of my life. I just wish she was real so I could be her friend. smeyer managed to under develop one of her most compelling characters ever.
4. my favorite jacob scene in the books was every last scene in new moon before he phased, but especially the part where he and bella talked at the movies. that was really sweet. and I don’t claim eclipse, but the little parts they hung out as friends (before it got annoying) were nice as well. oh and I LOVED when they danced together in the breaking dawn movie. she was so happy to see him! like literally delighted! the first time she looked that hapoy during the entire wedding and reception!!! but my favorite overall jacob scene is definitely at the part in the new moon movie right before I turn the whole thing off, when they’re in her truck and he’s like “sometimes I feel like I’m gonna disappear.” that really gets me. I wish it got more elaboration. jacob’s backstory is literally so rich I wish we got more of it :( and this may be an unpopular opinion but his take on everything that happened in new moon would be totally cool to have but it’s too bad smeyer made him Love Interest #2 and not like.......his own character
thanks sm for this ask!!! this has definitely been my favorite 💞💞
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um... kassie for the ship headcanon meme hehe
this is my wife btw . . . doing this to me . . ok . . hot . . will do . u know i’d do anything for u . .
1. Who makes the first move and how? i honestly think it was pretty even steven here ? they both bickered a lot at their photo shoot , working together . i feel like cassie was SO frustrated with him and his easy charm / cockiness that she probably kissed him first just to shut him up
2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better? cassie has always had severe insecurities and issues there . i think just being in the same space as kyle always soothes her ? like he’ll make a dumb joke , or say smth dumb n sarcastic or poke fun at her lightly at it’ll kinda help her get out of her head ? she also loves taking baths , or just lying in bed together .
3. Who is the most romantic? i feel like it’s cassie with the smaller things . she remembers the birthdays and she’ll see a cologne she think would be nice on kyle . but kylie is romantic in a lot of different ways , too . he’ll do things like clean the dishes or cook dinner if cassie seems particularly stressed . he’ll help organise her calendar . he’ll be more practical with how he helps her out at times ?
4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves? both of them dfjkfjn but probably mainly cassie . she sees kyle anywhere and shes like PURR
5. Who says ‘I love you’ first? absolutely cassie and then she probably sprinted away in pure fear bc shes like ‘why did u say that why why why ‘
6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome? tyler ? max ? those would be cassies pick . honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if kyle has Asked the q so they’d probably just get some random hot model they work together with some time
7. What do they get up to on a night out? a LOT of shots and a LOT of dancing and it gets very messy bc they’ll be in vip areas and having bottle service . it’ll end with a quickie in the bathroom , or her lipstick all over kyle’s neck and mouth and them probably getting kicked out for being too rowdy
8. What do they like in bed? they’re both pretty experimental ? cassie likes tying kyle up every now and then and like . . kinda being in control there when she can ? but she’s a definite switch and likes when he ties her up , or they’re in a kitchen with food getting messy . cassie likes when shes doing something and kyle just spins her from behind , or he’ll be the one to grab her and just be insatiable about her . she likes spontaneous sex and she’ll never say no to a quickie . both of them are Experienced players in the sex game so they’ve probably both tried everything once , and probably leave a lot of bruises on each other and hickies .
9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other? honestly at any shoot if like . . cassie’s outfit has fallen apart in front of kyle , or she feels like the shoot isn’t going well and he’s there ? she gets mortified . also the first time she said ‘ i love you ‘ was pretty embarrassing to her bc kyle was probably 1000% taken aback . kyle doesn’t really get embarrassed ?!?!? like he just is like . .yeah i did that . anyways fjnfdjk
10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island? IM SKIPPING THIS Q ITS TOO HARD
11. What do they hide from one another? kyle definitely hides the amount of girls he’s slept with in their industry ? bc its a lot i feel ? and he knows cassie gets jealous and mad insecure . so he probably tries not to bring that up really often but cassie usually KNOWS ANYWAYS . cassie mainly hides like if shes had a bad day or isnt doing too hot , bc she hates inconveniencing kyle but then that starts a fight bc hes like ?? just tell me ? ?
12. What first changes when it starts getting serious? less work trips . less spending time apart . less kissing other people / sleeping with other people ( actually . .NO kissing other ppl and sleeping with other ppl ) . they’re both NOT monogamists at all so its a struggle but thats the sign that they wanna make things serious ? that they’re commiting to each other ?
13. When do they realise they should get together? HONESTLY I DON’T KNOW ? i think its when cassie was with gale and then . . kyle came back and things got really messy and cassie and gale broke up . kyle and cassie tried the whole friends thing but they both knew they were in love with each other ? like they’d never tried just being FRIENDS first so i think thats what really cemented it and their feelings and surety ?
14. When one has a cold, what does the other do? kyle probably laughs and calls her adorable and kisses her nose bc shes so whiny when shes sick . but he’ll bring her home 300 medicines and soups . cassie has to literally force him to take time off work and then she’ll take the day off to make sure he properly rests dkjfkjnfjk
15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? they probably pick anything random bc honestly they get distracted and never finish it :-)
16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together? KYLE TO THE RESCUE ! i think cassie would make a great scavenger and find lil helpful things but kyle would be v stoic and protective and he’d be the Muscle of it all .
17. When they find a time machine, where do they go? absolutely back to high school them . they were so happy and stupid and soft back then . they were goofy and in love without even knowing it .
18. When they fight, how do they make up? sex . a lot of sex . yelling and then sex . sex and then yelling . it’s always a bit messy , but one of them will always finally give in and come back with their tail between their legs and apologise .
19. Where do they go on their first date? honestly they never really did dates but i feel one of their many dates is probably to paris , a fancy restaurant there where they’re known really well by all staff .
20. Where do they go on holiday? EVERYWHERE! they both travel a bunch so they’ll go to their favourite places . cassie wants to see kyle’s home but she knows kyle hates his dad so that may not happen fjkfnfj . milan . . greece ( if they really wanna a getaway ) . hawaii . any island or tropical place ! or france bc fashion !
21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another? cassie is always nervous about like paparazzi and stuff when they go out in red carpets and stuff bc they say a lot of dumb shit to rile them up ??? also cassie gets nervous before bringing kyle to her mums grave . i definitely know kyle would be nervous and not ok with cassie meeting his parents . .
22. Where does their first kiss happen? i think it happened on shoot ? they had to kiss for a shoot i think and it was Grating and Annoying and kyle was being so smug , and then they . . kissed more backstage sdjknfnkjfkjn
23. Where is their favourite place to be together? probably nice 5 star hotel rooms bc they can live their life and not worry too much abt clean up and stuff fkjnfnkfnf cliche but anywhere theyre together . . theyre happy . .
24. Where do they first have sex? probably in a limo , all rushed and heated , hand prints all over the leather , their bodies , and the windows.
25. Why do they fight? bc they’re both really stubborn and too similar . they fight bc one is jealous of the other . they fight bc of their body count . or bc of their coworkers or the types of shoots they do ( a la sexy ) . they fight when one is away too much . honestly its mainly cassie i think cassie gets riled up very easily . kyle gets mad when CASSIE is being unreasonable which is 3000% of the time . cassie is just always lowkey scared kyle will leave her again dkjfjk
26. Why do they need to have a serious chat? probably if kyle went home and then came back and was acting v distant or short with cassie ? then she’d be like ok we r talking . honestly . probably talk to each other about their dumb jealousy issues if it got too out of hand . i know kyle monitors cassie taking her meds so if she tried to go off them unsolicited he’d be like baby no .
27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them? bc they bicker and then fuck all the time JKFDJNFJKF
28. Why do they get jealous? bc they’ve both . . slept with everyone ! they’re both hoes !
29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love? bc they were horribly destined to be together and everytime they see each other they’re ALL the other one sees . they can’t keep their eyes ( or hands ) off each other . they fall more in love everytime they spend a second of time together and learn more of each other in any manner or form .
30. Why does it work (or not work) between them? it doesn’t work . . it CAN’T work . but somehow it does . from all their jealousies and insecurities . from all the kinda - cheating , and the fighting , and the leaving each other , and the other issues . . from EVERYTHING . . they’re just too epic to not have worked , u know ? they are soul mates in a way . they always always found their way back to each other . they’re inseparable . they will never stop loving each other , no matter what . good , bad , ugly , beautiful .
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you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43
#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option
5)favorite fics?
soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag
17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?
well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.
24)who are you at the end of this decade?
hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”
im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol
also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties.
i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.
hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!
anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao
what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol.
well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are
26)favorite look you had?
my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol
38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?
lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me
43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?
well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful
also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.
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60 questions for @not-my-brain
1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn
Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)
2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too
3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*
4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)
7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol
9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah
11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)
12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away
13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much
15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that
17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year
19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him
20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)
21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)
22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get
23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die
24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi
25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many
26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*
27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters
28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee
29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet
30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD
31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls
33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT
34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new
35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving
37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)
38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny
39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football
40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert
41. relationship status.....single as a pringle
42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen
43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE
44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol
45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)
46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"
47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl
48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate
49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas
50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way
51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii
52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina
53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^
54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying
55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more
56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines
57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes
58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti
59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it
60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good
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Grand Torchwood Rewatch 1x10
its the continuation of the saga that no fucker asked for!!!! Today we have torched wood 1x10 “out of time”, which also happens to be personally my favourite episode of the show so far
content warn: pisstaking blah blah, fun having, references to owen harper’s nips that absolutely no one wanted to see or hear
GENUINE CONTENT WARN /// this episode includes suicide
- ah, this episode!!! which has stayed with me, but not in the same way that the fucking infamous “cyberwoman” did. no, i originally began to rewatch a little of torchwood back in 2013-4, but after this episode i was Deeply Upset and had to stop for a while....... and kind of never picked up the rest of the series from there.
so basically! this is the last episode that i’ve actually seen more than Once, In 2006, when it originally aired.
- anyway.... it begins. here lands the plane, time travelled from 1953. oh no im already sad!!! this is a sad episode, guys
- Owen Very Goblin Tier at the beginning of this ep
- does anywom remember Sugar Rush??? or Girls in Love, the series they made based off that jacqueline wilson book?? i had to pause to go imdb the young one the find where i knew her face from and it got me all nostalgic. but, i digress,
- just remembered that toshiko gets literally fuck all to do in this episode lmfao. even ianto gets more stuff in this one
- i dont know why but its really tickled me that the hub is covered in tinsel its just like a regular office fffghgdgh
- VERY FORTUNATE that the 50s man would turn on the radio to radio 3 apparently, like this was 2006, imagine if the first thing he heard was a blast of “sexyback”
- the idea that theyd need fake 2006 names is v odd to me bc like.... who would. who would go “WOW you have the same name as a generic man of no historic significance who disappeared in 1953!!!” like..... d. does it matter. idk
- Ianto getting spectacularly Owned by the sight of bananas overshadowing his explanation of how modern technology works warms my fucking Soul!!!
- i love stuff like this, i love ppl from the past experiencing the modern day this whole sequence with them shopping is so cute!!!!!!! i never seen someone so excited abt asda!
- WHEN I REWATCHED THIS EARLIER I MISSED THAT THEYRE TRYING TO MAKE TEA BY TEARING OPEN TEA BAGS AND EMPTYING THEM INTO THE TEA POT IM FUCKNGI SHITTING MYSELF
- Owen straight up dropping a fart joke on diane............ P U S S Y M A G N E T
- i love my 50s daughter she’s so cute let her go carol singing!!!!! fuckkkkk
- Don’t Like that john apparently cant smoke in the pub but diane’s smoking in a fucking restaurant??? yeah can i get uhhhhhhh some chicken with my ash
- ah!!!! can see owen’s pecs!!!!!!! he looks good!!!!! fuck this!!!!!!!
- liver for dinner! truly they are from the 50s
- "I never had this sort of trouble with my son". John ellis u BITCH, your son was never thrust 50 years into the future, alone, where everyone he’s ever known or loved has been long dead!!!! shut the hell your mouth
- Owen Confirmped To Wear Makeup
- OWEN’S ROCKHARD NIPPOS DETECTED!!!!!!! TITTY BOOBIE. FUCK
extremely dangerous to dual wield Diamond Hard nippers in an apartment that seems to be 90% glass, to be sure
- and continuing of the theme of male nudity WELSH BEEF ALERT: RHYS SIGHTED IN THE NUDDY
- God, john’s story is so fucking brutal!!!!!! the only person he has left in the whole world has alzheimer’s and doesn’t know where the fuck he is, let alone remember him!!!
- “There’s no puzzle to solve, no enemy to fight. Just three lost people who’ve somehow become our responsibility.” - jack nailing Hard what makes this episode so fucking good honestly
- Somewom tell gwendoline...... that rhys is bad in bed bc he's a straightman. Thats the edge that owen has. Jot that down
- Having said that, his choice of date location....... a carpark? Baby,
- John’s story takes its final fatal brutal turn as he decides he has nothing left to live for..... fuckkkkk. Also harrowing is the implication that jack would also die if he could: “its just bearable... it has to be. i dont have a choice.”
- not to be salty but........ always its m/f couples with the “being Deeply Intensely In Love after knowing eachother several fucking days” nonsense. im a full gay and i dont care bitch!!
- why does owen have such a flash car? whats the story behind the soft top honda thing? You look at that man and tell me he does not look Every Inch the fucking owner of a subaru. a subaru with a massive fucking spoiler on it. TELL ME, HONESTLY, that that IS NOT 100% a fucking Owen Mobile
For Real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- this must be the most ruthless break up owen’s ever had. “i love you but also bye bitch im off on a suicide mission into the sky” ?????? OK????? THATS NORMAL???
- OH NO baby boy!!!!! baby!!!!! the sad owen shot at the end is so good!!!
AND....... THAT WRAPS UP the Best ep so far! UP NEXT: Welcome to WEEVIL FIGHT CLUB BITCH
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Season 4 notes
Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm.
ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make.
ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that.
ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm.
GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131.
ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally?
ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed.
ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no?
ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye.
ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol.
ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure.
ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew
ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want
big man. yeah jonah for sure did something.
ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever
ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way"
ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao
ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked?
ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy.
ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man.
ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous.
ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye.
ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds"
ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess.
oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152
ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book?
ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing.
ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt
kill them. oh... bye melanie.
ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick.
Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult.
ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D:
ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D:
ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute.
ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.
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goddd I cannot believe u have read iwwv u don't know me but for some reason we watch like.. the same shows and now books lol. anyway can I ask what were ur thoughts on the ending? like to me at least it was onvious Oliver had not done it and he wasn't gonna pull a unreliable narrator last minute (despite being an unreliable narrator) I'm talking abt the whole uhh James is a**** thing.. like what HAPPENS NEXT? is he w wren? also I feel so bad for meredith like girl love urself.. sry 4 the essay
omg yes taste!!!! Also no I’m dying to talk abt this novel so don’t apologize if anything im sorry bc I wrote way too much answering ur question LGRNLRGN
IF WE WERE VILLIANS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT go read it if u haven’t it’s legendaric
Okay the ending!!!! AH!!!! Okay yeah so I think it’s clear Oliver did not do it, I think the ambiguity lies more whether or not James intentionally killed Richard or if it was an accident. Like, did he see Richard stumbling out in the woods hella intoxicated and think to himself that this was the perfect opportunity to get revenge for all the abuse and torture Richard had been terrorizing him with??? Did he lie to Oliver? Personally, I believe James that it was an accident… of sorts. I don’t think James set out with the intention to kill Richard at all. But Richard was goading him and fighting him and after the buildup of cruelty and tension between them over the past few months, Richard be a homophobic dick and calling James and Oliver qu*er and prodding at the most important relationship in James’ life struck a nerve. So when Richard wanted to keep fighting and hurt him again he was like fuck this and he hit Richard too hard with the hook and that in tandem with Richard being drunk caused Richard to fall and die. And, like the others, James felt awful but there was a sort of sick sense of relief.
(Also, I’m not exactly sure Oliver counts as an Unreliable Narrator. I mean he is certainly keeping some things from that detective guy but, and I was reading something from M.L. Rio about this, like he’s literally just oblivious and dumb as fuck sometimes LKGNLRGLKNRG. So idk how often he’s intentionally Unreliable but I also get what you mean)
Anyways I’m totally a believer that James is alive bc despite enjoying dark stories im like okay but I need a happy ending LGKNLKRGlkenlgneg. Like c’mon they never found the body……….. A metaphorical death and shedding of his past life bc he blames himself for Oliver taking the fall is like the MOST tragic hero Shakespearean shit ever like it just works so well!!!!!! The part where Oliver describes the last time James visited him in jail…
“Oliver I’m begging you,” he said. “I can’t do this anymore.” When I refused again, he pulled my hand across the table, kissed it, and turned to leave. I asked where he was going and he said, “Hell. Del Norte. Nowhere. I don’t know.” (343).
GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd. God. Anyways I think that was very telling of his plans. Hell (for “committing suicide”, moreso for all of his wrong doings). Del Norte is the beach that him and Oliver slept on that one night and so I feel like that place holds a lot of significance for them, but it’s a place only those two know the significance of. So, I like to think he ran away there and started a new life. He wrote that letter with the disjointed Pericles monologue I think to hint to Oliver that he was at Del Norte, if he wanted to find him, because even though his “death” was a self-punishment for ruining Oliver’s life, he still cares for him a lot and doesn’t want to be without him. Like a whole monologue about the sea????????? The fact that he literally said the monologue to Oliver while they were at Del Norte?? “To give my tongue that heat to ask your help; / Which if you shall refuse, when I am dead, / For that I am a man, pray see me buried.” LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAT god !!!! Also water is gay<3 and in my heart Oliver goes and finds him and they like work through shit and are together.
Anyways I don’t really think he’s with Wren. Their relationship during senior year was always sort of ambiguous to me…. Like they definitely got super close, they probably were romantically involved in some capacity (since other characters like Alexander who is much more perceptive were like Oliver how did it take you this long to notice LRGNRGNK) though idk if it was like the Encompassing Love Affair Oliver thought it to be bc he’s oblivious and jealous. And also like James was very much enamored with Oliver so idk. (EDIT i just remembered they slept together LMAO but i think my point still stands) In the epilogue Wren is in London and is a recluse and doesn’t reach out to any of the Villains which like. Good for her LRGNRLG even though I hated Richard I can’t imagine like how much of a toll that took on her to see her cousin die and all their friends be like uh yeah we should let him die and then have to keep up a lie like… even though she agreed Richard was awful that has to be so heart wrenching (badumtss) and life ruining. So I think she especially wouldn’t want to be with James seeing as he essentially led Richard to fall into the lake, though I’m not sure if she knows that or not.
And Meredith!!!! Like I’ll be real sometimes she frustrates me but I think she’s also SUCH an interesting and realistic character (which is something I love about this novel, all the characters are interesting to me and I like how the female characters are portrayed.... like i LOVE Fillipa she is such a bad ass bitch but again she’s not just like. Expected to always be strong and clever like she’s got feelings too. Anyways love her). As I said before I was perusing through the author’s tumblr a bit and ppl were like “omg why did Meredith go through all the male friends” like BYEEE literally feeding into the stereotypes that made her feel insecure and weak… (Also again, they’ve known each other for four years… so its not that insane lmao). I think Meredith’s relationship with her sexuality and beauty is very interesting and relatable for a lot of women (I mean I am not. Like a seductive femme fatale like she is but LGKNKRGN). On one hand she is definitely a multifaceted person who is more than her sexuality, on the other, she’s constantly Literally Cast by Gwendolyn in sexualized roles and seen as sexualized by her friends/bf (Richard) and constantly told her worth in and out of the theatre is her body. Like there is an interesting duality about the power she possesses with her sexuality but also the extreme insecurity that is bred by being constantly sexualized and this struggle of like knowing she has worth outside of her body but also sort of … not in the eyes of others. That scene where they’re doing those exercises of their strengths and weaknesses really Hit. Anyways yes Meredith love urself queen… get a hot respectful gf… become a powerful successful legend…..
Related-ish sidenote, obviously I like James and Oliver together the most though I will say Meredith and Oliver’s relationship was interesting though ultimately unhealthy…. Like one of the aspects I like about their relationship is Oliver respects Meredith and when he realizes he is falling into that idea that Meredith is this super sexualized person he’s like hold awn that’s shitty of me… But also I think the fact of the matter is that their relationship was catalyzed by shitty stuff,,, like lust and the need for revenge. Like I honestly don’t really think they would’ve gotten together if not for the extreme animosity with Richard and the adrenaline of like that whole show run and more particularly That Night…. It feels like they got together because they were drunk and they’re attractive, which like yeah fine valid, but also, subconsciously, to be like fuck you Richard. Like, guess what I’m with the guy who you’re constantly saying doesn’t matter. And also seeking comfort and validation when their most important people are not valuing them (Richard being literally fucking awful to Meredith, James sort of pushing Oliver away—again I think subconsciously was sort of a revenge jealousy type thing where Oliver is with the person that James doesn’t really like and makes not amazing comments about being promiscuous). And then their relationship I think keeps going because like. Wow grief is a bitch and they want some comfort. Meredith is drawn to Oliver because he’s one of the only people who values her for more than just a sexual object which like is What She Deserves but their relationship is like a mess of sex and guilt and Oliver is in love with James (the parts where Meredith drags Oliver for caring more about James… iconic as she should! Like when Oliver is like sorry James is visiting me I’m not coming or when she’s like are you more jealous of him or me when they kissed for that scene….. OOP!). Anyways idk if that makes sense but I find Oliver and Meredith’s relationship interesting bc it’s not like… the worst unhealthy relationship ever or anything and I think there is genuine care and love/attraction there between them but like Oliver is never going to totally Be What Meredith deserves especially because like… he loves James more. Also the part where Meredith slaps Oliver when he gets out of jail and he’s like yeah I deserve that is so GLKNRglkenrgnrg to me.
Anyways I probably have more thots but wow. This is long. Sorry LGRNLKRGNng
#if we were villains#books#anon#ask#okay i edited something and idk why tumblr glitched the fuck out at least on my dash but i added the read more again...#tumblr is a broken hellscape <3
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all moongan
thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these
omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?
more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?
as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?
hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off
4: how do you take your coffee/tea?
with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee
5: are you self-conscious of your smile?
omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably
6: do you keep plants?
i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any
7: do you name your plants?
refer 2 6
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?
art??? i havent drawn in awhile
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?
no LOL
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?
on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn
11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?
🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals
12: what’s your favorite planet?
the moon for no real reason
13: what’s something that made you smile today?
hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?
this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life
i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!
heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit
ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun
16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?
is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?
im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.
i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said
K: everything
E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?
goDD i dont but i sure want to
20: what’s your favorite eye color?
this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.
its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)
22: are you a morning person?
technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????
23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?
tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?
mmmm falens the closest to that
25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?
my classroom
26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?
white converse?? i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)
27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?
i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here
28: sunrise or sunset?
sunset but i dont look outside enough for either
29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?
hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her
with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?
ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.
hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.
listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao
33: what’s your fave pastry?
bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?
i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so
36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?
im listening 2 day6 so like day6
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?
my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those
38: tell us about your pet peeves!
aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk
(skip this if ur not fond of drama)
so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.
another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.
another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.
tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.
i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/
okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only
another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol
39: what color do you wear the most?
i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?
i dont wear jewelry rip
41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?
challenger deep
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!
hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?
u cant see shit here sorry
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?
cant relate
45: do you trust your instincts a lot?
yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.
suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
vegetables
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?
the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?
i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6
50: what’s an odd thing you collect?
boxes??? like containers????
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?
boxy and letting go by day6
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?
YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?
me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon
54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?
i literally havent been outside for 2 days
55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?
be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out
56: what are some things you find endearing in people?
when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?
is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening
58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?
idk what either of those are but bell and boxy
59: what’s your favorite myth?
idk any
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
anything that eunwoo has ever written
61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?
ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?
i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?
my books are all in shelves lads i just heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night
ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up
i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2
64: what color is the sky where you are right now?
light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy
65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?
m not rly
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?
just. leaves maybe??
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?
Horror Movie
68: what’s winter like where you live?
oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes
69: what are your favorite board games?
i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o
70: have you ever used a ouija board?
im not ready for that kinda death
71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?
english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?
ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy
73: what are some of your worst habits?
being lazy + procrastinating :-D
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.
okie :-o ..
they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks
they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao
im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!
75: tell us about your pets!
i have none but id die for boxys cats
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?
well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it
77: pink or yellow lemonade?
?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?
i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.
on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao
so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!
anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??
79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?
my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .
the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?
theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember
81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.
lava cake
82: are/were you good in school?
yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind
83: what’s some of your favorite album art?
all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?
back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse
85: do you read comics? what are your faves?
im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!
86: do you like concept albums? which ones?
idk what those r but sure
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
big hero 6
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?
who wrote this whats up with these questions
i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice
89: are you close to your parents?
close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.
tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??
91: where do you plan on traveling this year?
japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?
BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese
93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?
um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?
bell
95: what are your plans for this weekend?
hopefully something useful
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?
i also click remind me tomorrow lmao
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?
infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)
98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?
uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body
99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.
currently......
when you love someone - day6
like we used to - the rose
crazy sexy cool - astro
death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance
if it means a lot to you - a day to remember
idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?
oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???
i know i have 2 choose but like
if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???
so i wouldnt go back to the past.
if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it
itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice
so my decision is to go to the future
thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao
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7/8/17: buy paramore’s after laughter
lol this is mostly me being emo tbh but support paramore ok
i’ve been itching to buy several things lately and idk if i really want them or it’s my depressive state that wants to feed the void with material possessions. i wanted to get a record player bc im definitely buying paramore’s after laughter on vinyl bc aesthetic and the actual record means a lot to me. since i listened to after laughter, i’ve become hooked on paramore tbh and all i want to do is lay around with hayley’s vocals singing into my ears and maybe cry a little. i only started getting into them during their self-titled phase so i’m not remotely attached to the “old” punk version of them. Fake happy is what really sold me on this album btw. It’s everything i want to say to people i’m no longer really close with. It does make me think about how i never want to see certain friend groups again because i’m just embarrassed about my whole existence and feel ok wit it. the line in fake happy that goes “please don’t ask me how I’ve been, don’t make me play pretend” is something that really gets to me. I have nothing in my life right now, other than family and one or two friends, that i genuinely care about and i feel like im at a dead end tbh. having to tell acquaintances/ old friends abt my sad ass life makes me want to scream and i feel like i hate myself even harder. and i always find myself telling half-truths, pretending like im not a failure. Hard times is another relevant jam that’s on repeat. It was the first song i heard off the album and made me check out the whole ep. even if it didn’t feel relevant to me, i’d still bop to it. the overall idea of the album to have cheery synth vibes with depressing ass lyrics gives me life. anyway, i’m not gonna ramble on about this anymore since no one’s gonna read this and i already know my own feelings abt this.
but yeah, i also want the told u so t-shirt and cd bundle so im gonna wait for the vinyls to be released bc that pink marble record is calling out to me. and a tattoo, which i have a general vision of but im scared of the $$$. + i’m thinking abt moving to ny sometime next year too even tho im not going to FIT bc nj has nothing for me and i need to start living on my own, which means i need to save up. there’s also the last class that i need to take so that i can at least have an associate’s degree, which will def be a couple hundred. there’s also some skincare stuff i want like the eradikate spot solution and the boscia black luminizing mask (best in terms of peeling).
other meaningless tidbits in my mind:
ive been hating my art style even more lately but i still feel compelled to draw
bought a couple books to read even tho my commitment issues extends to reading as well
book related: i read motor crush vol 1 and i like it. babs is always great with the art and the writing is more exciting imo compared to the batgirl comics. snotgirl returned with issue 6 and the art is always pretty even if the plot is still a lil murky and unsatisfying. the plot of vol 1 was kinda messy and i disliked how it ended bc i dont even know if the arc was resolved or still continuing.i like bryan lee omalley’s writing so the writing isn’t something im not used to, i just feel like there’s so many mysteries building up and nothing that really resolves. there are some threads that were resolved in issue 6 (such as what happened in the bathroom with caroline) but another thread shows up in that resolution that has me going ??? Anyways i’ll still buy anything leslie hung does the art for so lmao my gripes aren’t dealbreakers
i went back to watch oitnb even with how pissed the ending of season 4 left me and i did not hate season 5...that much
kesha’s new song makes me so happy
watched baby driver today and i luv it. makes me want to watch more edgar wright and listen to the soundtrack
i bought 5 bags of flamin hot ruffles bc im paranoid that it’ll be discontinued like the buffalo wing ruffles, which is the definition of overkill
i’ve been looking into gym memberships bc i want to start working out and lose weight seriously now. this is hilarious bc my diet is shit rn (see above). but im sick of not fitting into my old clothes and some new cute stuff i bought online (that i thought would fit). also i really want to lose the baby fat on my face bc seeing my potato face in the mirror really kills the confidence i have left
another thing that’s nagging me is the idea that i want to buy some things just bc those things would add into the image of a person i want to appear to be. it sounds weird but i feel like i want this costume of a person who’s cool for having hipster shit like a record player or colorful sunglasses. it doesn’t help that ppl on instagram make me insecure asf and want the things they have.
ive been trying to stop stalking certain ppl on instagram bc its v pathetic and tends to exacerbate my anxiety and spiral into a depressive hole. its not even like celebrities or anything, just ppl i used to know, which is extra creepy and sad.
this was mildly enjoyable and i think i might write more diary entries on here from now on. it’ll probably be under the polyesthher talks tag, if i remember bc im the worst with tags.
bye
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for the anon that wanted all 100
1. Name- Ash!
2. Age- 18
3. City that you live in- fear, usually
4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself
5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying
6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing
7. What are your passions?- writing
8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too
7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things
8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me
9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night
10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0
11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember
12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well
13. Turn ons- validation
14. Turn offs- being alive
15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings
16. Favorite drink- Coke
17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so
18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol
19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying
20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop
21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some!
22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit
23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING
24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway
25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean
26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts
27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god
29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month
30. Favorite flower?- roses
31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars
32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...
33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me.
34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me!
35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough
36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school..
37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair
38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E
39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol
40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha
41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,,
42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book
43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules
44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush*
45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life
46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything
47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that
48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :(
49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like
50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude
51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet...
52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone
53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US
54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-)
56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day!
56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY
57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes
58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many
59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,)
60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality
61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state!
62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-)
63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man
64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably
65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE
66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol
67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive
68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end
69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail
70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years
71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube
72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess
73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can
74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think
75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times
76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS
77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0
78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay
79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!!
80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so
81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human.
82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours
83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all!
84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol
85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b
86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail
87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.
88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever
89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math
90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-(
91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid
92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself
93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face
94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened
95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please
96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope!
97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol
98. Coffee or tea?- coffer
99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good
100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?
#ask tot ag i guess#i didnt mean to get so negative in this lol im fine i swear#chitters#text heavy//
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