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#please forgive me father

hidden-insomnia · 1 year

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It's Just Love

Sheena and Graham spend the night together for the first time in what felt like forever. Things quickly get heated as their feelings for each other were allowed to run free with no interruptions.

#graytiger #Graytiger fic #Smut #but soft smut #fluffy smut #really cute I promise #Sheena #Tigress #Graham Calloway #Crackle #Carmen Sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019 #Carmen Sandiego Netflix #Carmen Sandiego Fanfic #I swear to got this took me 3 months to finish #My first time writing smut #Good Lord #I have sinned #Please forgive me father

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tubbytarchia · 3 months

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Doc and Jimmy brainrot part 1 lmao oh no

Basically "What if Doc was in the Life games and Jimmy triggered his parental instincts again". You guys will see my vision. I don't care what it takes. You will see this very specific vision I have god damn it if it's the last thing I do

This is all I have to use as propaganda right now but some ideas and justification below cut!!

Been imagining a lot of Doc/Jimmy interactions both in a traffic and HC context, both of which I'd love to draw for but obvs this for now is 3rd life and I want to draw a little something for each Life series. You'll see!!

The general idea is inspired by a moment from one of the Decked Out streams in which Jimmy calls for Etho and Doc's all "you're triggering my parental instinct... I wanna take you into my hand and take you to a safe place" yep that's it that's the whole inspiration!!

Jimmy deserves love and he does get it to various degrees ofc (Tango, Bad Boys etc) but man... It's so fun to me to imagine Doc in traffic, I think he claimed that he didn't want to be part of the life games because he was afraid of being too competitive (or so I heard), but god it's so fun to imagine big scary mad scientist goat man in that scenario and him probably going at it on his own a lot of the time, but this god forsaken mf Jimmy knows exactly how to unintentionally trigger his parental instincts. I want Doc to subtly take Jimmy under his wing especially as Jimmy keeps dying first. So maybe Jimmy is a bit incompetent and loud as far as he knows, but he sees that he's trying his best and the dad in him can't help but intervene just a tiny bit (and I do mean just a tiny bit) as the games go on. Yes I'm just gonna shove Doc into the Life Games just because I wish this dynamic could have happened and I beg you to put up with it!!

For the above drawing specifically since, sigh, I'm slow and that's all I have to offer rn... it's of course 3rd life, starting off. I imagine Jimmy's wings sprouting during that, because the whole "canary curse" began with the Life Games etc. And this post isn't about FH but just for context as I imagine it, Scott who doesn't like unpredictability convinces him to clip his wings (thanks Bree) because Jimmy's not a proper avian (unlike Grian who has a more "airborne" body, bird feet etc rather than just... wings) and he'd never be able to take flight anyway, those wings would only encumber him. (And then Jimmy keeps clipping them himself until DL Ranchers but cough this post isn't about that). I imagine the avians (for my specific roster, just Grian) have their wings magically clipped anyway just enough to prevent flight and make the games fair. Doc ofc isn't avian himself but he knows that Grian greatly frowns upon the act of willingly clipping wings so when he sees that Jimmy's quickly growing wings have been clipped as well, he can't help but ask, because why would that be necessary while his wings are so small anyway? And Jimmy's response triggers a wee bit of fatherly concern in him but thats it for 3rd life woo

For the rest I just wanna draw more tiny moments of interaction until I get to Secret Life, I guess!! The brainrot is really fucking strong guys

#docm77 #jimmy solidarity #forgive me father for the brainrot is strong and all-consuming #please let me propagate you guys PLEASE #Shak's Doc&Jimmy thoughts #thats it thats the new propaganda tag #tubby art

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ask-the-sexyman-squad · 2 months

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you feel better now sam?

"..."

She...doesn't feel better, really. She stopped the heavy crying, sure, but she hasn't fully calmed down. It might take her some time...no one can blame her: personal jabs at her regarding her familial issues just...triggered something horrible in her, and she still feels very hurt. Now she's just tired...she needs the rest.

"...she's been crying for two hours, Alastor: we can't even calm her down."

"..."

"Alastor? Hon?"

"...I..."

...the smile on his face dropped the moment Sam closed her eyes, and he wiped her tears.

He had to stay strong for his little girl...his little girl. He never would've thought he would use those three words when speaking about her. Yet he simply did so, and it made him all the more soft. She was sweet, quiet, and had bursts of energy: he admired that. She was a good dancer, a singer, and loved anything about the Roaring Twenties: but she clung to him and trusted him, and that's what drew him to her.

This was his adoptive daughter now...his and DT's. He had to show her love, and not break promises. She didn't have to worry about him and DT drinking...which was good.

He was swarmed in his thoughts, he was tuning them out unintentionally. He was focused on getting Sam to calm down, but the more she cried, the more his heart shattered.

"...I failed her."

The tears said it all: literal. Tears. He cared for her more than he let on, and it was making him sentimental...in the best ways, however.

"You didn't fail her, hon."

"I did. I should've been there when that wretched anon shattered her with their commentary. I should've been there to comfort her sooner...but I wasn't."

"That doesn't mean you failed her. You found out when you could, and what matters is that she's safe in your arms. That she calms down."

"...but what if she doesn't...?"

"...you're going to hate this idea."

"How so...?"

"If she doesn't calm down in the next twenty minutes, we...we take her to Black Hat."

"...Black Hat."

There's fear and nervousness in his voice now. They tried to ease their husband by gently placing their hand on his leg.

"If she doesn't calm down. If she does, then disregard. I mean...everyone has already tried getting her to calm down, or talk...Mordecai hugged her for Christ's sake, and that didn't work! Ghirahim tried calming her by taking her hair down, but also nothing! Another person she confides in is Black Hat. He'll surely be able to calm her."

"...if you say so, my love."

"We'll get her through this...trust me."

#Sardonic Sexymen - Sam DT and Alastor #original post #art #fanart #original art #image reply #text reply #alastor #double trouble #samantha #implied radiotrouble #((sam REALLY doesn't feel good after that one anon...#((and honestly I don't feel good after that either #((because sam here is a self projection of myself so the anon that sent the parental issues ask was not only intentionally jabbing at her #((but they also jabbed at me #((and it took me a while to think it over and draw it #((because I didn't want to be rude and take the fun out of things!#((though I am saying: sam and i are THE same person. please be kinder when submitting stuff #((I don't talk about it but I REALLY didn't appreciate it. it hurt and it sucked #((I love my parents and they love me don't get me wrong #((but they just....broke some personal promises. and idk if I can forgive them for that yet #((this is a coping mechanism for me without thinking about (TW) killing myself #((drawing myself with these fictional characters puts me in a happy place and I'll keep it that way #((if you think me thinking of alastor as my fictional father figure is cringe then you can leave #((either way thank you for checking in on sam #((always appreciated <3

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simpledyiing · 2 years

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Don't Stand So Close To Me ∥ P. Mitchell - part two

Top Gun: Maverick

Captain Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x (Kazansky's youngest daughter) Y/N

Word Count: 3.7k

I'm not really happy with this part ngl it feels a little bit pieced together and doesn't flow smoothly but it's here. Hope yall can find some joy in this... anyways happy reading babes and yes I'm fully aware its fucking late at night

Disclaimer: there's a skim of smut, also smoking bc I found out Tom Cruise smokes and now I'm obsessed with the thought of it. Also I harbor no towards Penny's character so please do not come for me

Part 1 Kazansky Family Dynamic Masterlist

–2 new messages - The Cradle Robber – ...

The exhale leaving her lips died in her throat the moment the notification floated across the pitch black phone screen, dread filled her veins as her anxious mind filtered through every possible scenario starting with the worse and working her way down.

‘Is this a breakup text? No, he wouldn’t do that… would he? Did Penny get her shot at round two with him? Is he just drunk? Is this going to be an apology for ignoring me for days? Maybe he is just checking up on me?’

She feels like crying as the black lock screen mocks her of what was once in its place, the light blue skies littered with clouds surrounding her smiling face as Pete kissed her temple. But instead it was the black lock screen shined back at her, showing her reflection in the dim kitchen lighting. She can’t help but feel out of place considering everything was perfectly placed in the pristine kitchen, except Y/N who is drowning in her anxious thoughts.

‘Just fucking open it, you are thinking the worse…. But what if I am right? But it’s Pete, he is always so sweet and kind to me’ she gently slides her finger across the illuminating screen

Hey Princess, I know I haven’t been around much with work and all but I miss you.. Can I make it up to you please?

The exhale didn’t get caught in her throat this time but the anxiety still gnawed at her from the inside, ‘Peace or violence… he did neglect me for two days…’

“Mmm… I’m listening” it was still peaceful yet a little passive aggressive in her eyes.

I could come pick you up and we could watch the best Christmas movie ever made

The smile spreading across her face was involuntarily but unwavering “DIE HARD ISN’T A CHRISTMAS MOVIE PETE FFS”

I’m going to take that as a yes… I’ll see you in 30 FFS?

Most Christmas movies are corny, predictable, and boring, well this is exactly how their melodramatic love story started in a way..

Christmas Eve at The Kazansky’s Household

“I’m just saying mom, why couldn’t it have been just family tonight? Half of these guys are from Dad’s work, what happened to just a small family dinner?” the sigh departed Y/N’s lips shortly afterwards, Laurie hummed in agreeance with her younger sister’s despair.

“Sweetheart the holidays are about caring for others and surrounding yourself with good company, this is more for your Father than me. Just try and act happy for him at least..” it wasn’t though, this was her mother’s way of showing off the house, her cooking, and her marriage to everyone. The dinging alarm from the oven broke Mrs. Kazansky’s pointed look aimed at her youngest daughter “Okay, fine.. I need to go finish wrapping a few gifts if you got the kitchen covered” the only response was a slight wave of her mother’s wrist.

The stairwell came closer with each step until she turned left into the hallway leading to the backdoor, Y/N took a quick glance at the party taking place in the living room before slipping out.

She hastily lit her cigarette as the cold nipped at her delicate fingertips, she inhaled softly as a small sliver of peace washed over her heated body. “Your Father would kill you if he found out” floated through the air around her, ruining her newly founded peace, Y/N turned towards the man sitting on the back porch steps “Yeahh and I don’t think my mom would take kindly to you smoking at her house either” a small hum slipped through his fixed smile, Y/N shrugged her shoulders before making her way over to him “hmm.. But how about we make a deal? I won’t tell if you don’t?” silence followed as his outstretched hand came into view, Y/N didn’t hesitate to slip her hand into his much larger one “Deal, I’m Pete by the way” she hummed at the sound of his voice but also the warmth that encompassed her hand “Y/N.. you wouldn’t happen to be the Pete that flew with my dad back in the late 80’s” a slight nod of confirmation was thrown her way “Yes, I am that Pete but people usually call me Maverick” amusement danced across her face, this man sitting across from her was the beloved Maverick or better known as her ‘Uncle Pete’ even though this is the first time she has ever spoken to the man. “Hmmm I thought you would look older” curiosity plagued his features and laced through his words “why’s that exactly” Y/N’s eyes drifted across his face and made their way down his frame, “My dad said you didn’t age as ‘gracefully’ as he did, which was clearly a lie” there was an unusual wave of comfort that flooded her system, she wanted to blame it on the warmth radiating off of him but the gap between the two crushed that theory.

“I don’t know what that is if I’m being honest.. So I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult, sweetheart” if Y/N wasn’t so appalled at the newfound fact, she might have blushed at the pet name “ohh my gOd, How do you not know the tropes for a Christmas movie is?? Heard of Hallmark before?” the only response given was a simple shrug “I’m old”

“First it’s not an insult, you just share a lot of characteristics of the main guy in a Hallmark movie” Y/N puffed out a cloud of smoke before passing the cigarette back to her confused counterpart “the key aspects being a mysterious yet well-known guy, who either lives some outrageous adrenaline filled lifestyle or a rather unnoteable one with some weird past skill that somehow helps at the end of the movie, meets this ‘out of this world’ girl, that either saves him or his business. They sometimes might hate each at the beginning, or just bump into each other at random beginning scenes, until they fall in love… and blah blah.. Y’know?”

“Hmm I think you know a little too much about these movies, though I’m curious what’s your favorite?”

“Yeah maybe so, but when I was little, my dad and I would stay up binge watching shitty Christmas movies… annd Holiday Inn, it tops everything… your’s?”

“Aww who would have thought that Ice would be up all night watching sappy Christmas movies, Slider would get a kick out of this... And no the best Christmas movie of all time is Die Hard”

From an outside perspective, the pair would have seemed crazy as they argued back and forth over such a childish topic until the back door swung open to reveal Ron "Slider" Kerner’s head poking out to burst their bubble “Y/N, your father is looking for you, maybe shorten your ‘puff’ break huh..”

It was an almost comical ‘360’ Slider took when noticing Maverick sitting across her on the porch steps “Y/N anything he has said about me is a lie” the breath of laughter condensated in the night’s sky “Wow someone is either really full of themselves or paranoid, for your information we were talking about Christmas movies” the exaggerated eye roll from the older man triggered her own before an outstretched hand appeared once again in her peripheral, as the mere thought of having him touch her again with those rough, callous hands, a wave of heat shot through her body. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed as his hand dropped from her own, as he helped her upright. Until Pete placed it casually on her lower back as he guided her towards the entranceway that Slider just retreated from. Y/N felt her knees buckle at the sweet, confident smile he sent her way as he held the door open, the huff of breath forced itself into the air filled with the overlapping conversations taking place in the living room. As Y/N willed herself to take the first step into the doorway Pete’s voice stopped her in her tracks “Y’Know we could watch the best Christmas movie after dinner, if you like?” the laughter bubbling through her lips was the only confirmation he needed “Only if you sit by me during dinner” she felt like she could die just by his smile alone until he winked at her... once again the feeling of overwhelming heat coursed through her system “Deal”

“Sweetheart, I’ve been looking for you, where have you been? Your mother is throwing a fit, considering ‘you disappeared on her an hour ago’... I think she’s being dramatic like usual but dinner is about to start, so shall we?” Y/N looked back over at Pete before linking arms with her father as they made their way through the dining room.

To most people, they saw Admiral Tom “Iceman” Kazansky as a calculated pilot with a cold exterior that was off-putting to what he considered "sensitive" people but at this very moment, he was a doting father that was putty in his youngest daughter’s hands. As if she was the most important thing in this world, and she was to him. It didn’t help that Y/N was gleaming up at her father as he pushed her chair in, before sitting right beside her at the head of the table. The older Kazansky children couldn't help but roll their eyes in disgust as their father displayed his favoritism towards their sister so publicly, he didn’t even spare them a glance nor the people seated around them.

Present Day

“For the fifty time just because the movie takes place on December 25th, doesn’t make it a Christmas movie.. Don’t get me wrong Die Hard is a classic but not for that genre, baby” did Y/N end up staying up all night watching Die Hard movies with Pete? Yes, she most certainly did and she didn’t regret it at all even as the bags under her eyes throbbed in the dimly light diner. “Y’Know one of these days, you are going to finally agree with me on this, and when that day comes I’m going to say…I told you so” Pete’s gaze was blocked by the inside of his coffee cup, but he knew she was flipping him off behind the ceramic mug when no verbal response was given. His free hand lifted to entangle their fingers together across the table, a soft smile was sent her way as the worn cup clinked against the table “I’m kidding it will be a lot more dramatic, I’m thinking an air show that spells out ‘I was right, Die Hard is the best Xmas movie ever” Pete could still understand her clear as day even as “I hate you” was mumbled between bites of pancakes, before he pulled their joined hands closer to place a soft kiss across her knuckles “You looove me” a scoff slipped through Y/N’s lips “whatever you say loverboy..”

“Hi, I’m Y/N Kazansky and I was wondering if I could possibly have Maverick’s surprise birthday here on Friday?” Y/N appraised the older woman behind the bar as she waited for her to turn around “Kazansky as in Iceman type of Kazansky? And of course you can, anything for Pete” Y/N didn’t know if the twitch in her right eye was caused by lack of sleep or the possible second meaning to Penny’s words “Yes ma’am, I’m Admiral Tom “Iceman” Kazansky’s youngest daughter.. And thank you!” the giggle bubbling its way through Penny’s lips didn’t help Y/N’s involuntarily twitching “I feel like, Two admirals daughters walk into a bar would be a great navy joke.. Mm do you need help with anything for the party? I can bake Pete’s cake if you want” Y/N simply shook her head “No I’ve got it all covered, plus Pete just loves my cake, but thank you for offering I appreciate it” Penny’s shoulders fell at her words before correcting her posture once again “No problem, hun”

Y/N felt eyes on her the second she rounded the hanger, as she glanced through the rooms before moving to the next one filled with Naval pilots. Her eyes shifted between the group until finding a somewhat familiar face in the small group “Excuse me Bob, I was wondering if you could help me with something?” Bob’s face went flush at the mere presence of Y/N before stuttering out “Y-yes Ma’am, wh-hat can I do for you?” the flash of her smile made his knees weak he felt like he could pass out as he gulped down the air caught in his throat. “Y/N, what are you doing here?” Until Bob’s moment was ruined, he was so close to hearing her soft voice response if it weren’t for Rooster, Y/N’s gaze shifted between the two men before settling once again on Bob “Hi Bradley, umm I was wondering if you could relay a message to Pete.. I mean Maverick’s students for me” her sweet voice floated through his mind, and stored itself directly into his memory “Yes I can-n do that for you, what’s the message?” his palms felt clammy as he pushed the gold rim of his glasses up his nose “okay this is a secret Maverick cannot know but this Friday at 1900, we are throwing him a surprise birthday at the Hard Deck.. and I wanted y’all to be there” the nod of confirmation came shortly after that before he clear his throat with a “Yes, ma’am” the sweet smile mixed with Y/N’s hand resting lightly on his forearm almost made him hyperventilate “Please call me Y/N, ohh is it possible one of you can take me to my father’s office?” Bradshaw couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Bob’s fidgeting, but also at the fact that Y/N was throwing ‘good ol’ Pete a birthday party. Y/N’s question hung in the air before either could form words, and just like that Seresin was towering over her, with his signature smirk playing on his lips “I can take you, sweetheart”

The Kazansky’s put Operation: Birthday Boy into full effect, Y/N cringed slightly at the dreadful name her father gave the op but thankfully everything was going as planned when she received a text from her father saying “be there in 10 :)”.

Maverick was surprised when Ice asked him if he wanted to grab a few drinks at the Hard Deck, but his surprise soon morphed into suspicion at Tom’s unusual behavior. Pete ran through the possible reasons, ‘did he find out about Y/N and I? Is the Navy finally sick of my reckless behavior? Is he dying?’ but even as the uneasy feeling crept its way through his thoughts, he followed silently as Tom lead the way into the bar.

The screams of ‘SURPRISE!’ bounced off the hard deck walls as Pete’s eyes shifted through the pile of familiar faces washed in bright lights until landing on Y/N, standing in the middle of the mass holding a large cake with candles scattered across the frosted top spelling out “Happy Birthday to the best pilot EVER.. aka Maverick ♡” He couldn’t help as the grin spread across his face, he honestly thought his heart could stop at just the sight of her in his favorite dress with candle light cascading across her cheekbones. She looked like she was heaven sent, as she sent him a soft smile before mouthing ‘come here’ before flicking her eyes down at the cake.

As Pete came closer to Y/N he finally shifted his eyes down to study the cake in her delicate hands, the cake was littered with almost 70 candles “why are there so many candles on this? I’m not that old Y/N” his pointed look was cut off when Seresin shouted “Start Blowing Grandpa” Y/N moved the cake closer to him “Please just make a wish, I don’t want to eat candle wax”

The cake was cut, thanks were given and people started to disperse into their own little conversations, Tom listened absentmindedly to the conversation Penny was trying to hold with him “I don’t know Tom, don’t you think their relationship is a little bit weird” tilting his head to meet her gaze before drifting across the bar once more “Whose?” her smile twitched slightly at Tom’s inattention “Y/N’s and Maverick’s” hearing his daughter’s name however caught his full attention, raising his brow towards the older brunette as if asking for a continuation before the sound of giggling bounced off the walls. Ice steered his gazes towards the sound until it landed on Y/N, frosting mixed with bits of cake coating her delicate hands as the rest was plastered against Pete’s face “I don’t know, it’s just something about how they interact and look at each other.. It’s unusual I think something is going on between the two-” before she could even continue Ice was leaning closer to her, with a fixed glare “Shut up Penny, you know nothing about Y/N or Pete. You are delusional and I will not let you slander my daughter like that because you are trying to make her the next Penny Benjamin, the admiral’s slut daughter” if looks could kill Tom would be six feet under, Penny’s jaw was set and eyes blazing with an untamed ire, the overgrowing emotion built at the sight of Maverick’s cradling Y/N’s face in his hands, eyes full of adoration as he smashed frosting across her cheeks and smiling lips.

“Peeete you ruined my makeup” was mumbled through the thick frosting and cake crumbs coating her lips, while staring up in shock at the man who is equally caked “I’m sorry but weren’t you the one that caked me first?” even through the layer of frosting he could tell she was pouting up at him “Let’s go, get you cleaned up huh?” as he guided her towards the bathroom, unbeknownst to them a set of eyes belonging to a familiar face followed their retreating figures towards the bathrooms.

Water rushing out the faucet filled the empty bathroom lined with shiny white tile contrasting against dull grey stalls on the right-side wall, Y/N’s eyes floated around until landing on Pete’s side profile, as he wiped remnants of cake off his hands and face before turning to her with a wet towel “Alright, your turn princ-” was muffled against Y/N’s frosted lips before Pete hoisted her up on the bathroom counter, Y/N pulled back with a grimace “You put me in water” his fingertips danced across her upper thighs, until Y/N squeezed them together blocking his path to her lace covered heat “What does it matter, if you are already soaked… well probably soaked” the pointed look would have usually made him stop but the soft smile etched on her lips, pushed him to continue “please it can count as my birthday gift” her thighs relaxed against his hand instantly, the tips of his fingers brushed against the soaked fabric before pushing the ruined material roughly to the side, coating his fingers in her slick. Y/N’s hips involuntarily jerked forward at the action waiting for his fingers to slide into her but instead his hand left her body entirely.

Y/N held her breath as she waited for his next move until the dazed state was shattered at the sight of Pete licking his fingers clean of her “Sweet as ever” those three words echoing off the bathroom tile, forced her to push her thighs together for some sort of relief… Until the door swung open, the bar’s overlapping conversation along with a huffing Penny broke the room’s stillness “am I interrupting something?” Y/N fought the urge to roll her eyes at Penny’s faux innocence, the question was asked with such certainty as if she already knew the answer. Her eyes stared blankly at Y/N when “No” filtered around her “Oh good, well I brought you some towels to help with the clean up” Y/N couldn’t tell if the smile gracing the older brunette’s lips was actually genuine, that maybe she felt proud of herself for interrupting the moment or if it was a fake plastered on smile in an attempt to hide her indifference, either way Y/N couldn’t stand the sight of it. Maverick broke the tension by thanking her, before moving toward the towels in her hands. Y/n couldn’t help but laugh as Penny deliberately brushed her hand against Pete’s fingers that were moments ago covered in Y/N’s slick.

Y/N sat patiently on the bathroom counter as Pete gently cleaned the remnant of cake off her face, oblivious to the fact that Y/N was struggling with recurring thoughts, Penny’s conceited smile, the way Pete looked at Penny last week oblivious to Y/N across the bar, and then the worst one of them all… Rooster’s words on loop “everyone gets burned by him no matter what, he doesn’t change” She thought about bringing it up to Pete, but it never seemed like the right time, even during the movie marathon, during breakfast, or during the week leading up to his birthday. She stopped herself each time with the same recurring thought “don’t be selfish, you are probably making something out of nothing.” the gentle tap on her cheek pulled her back to reality, her gaze refocusing on Pete’s soft smile “You okay?” She processed his words for a few moments, conflicted with telling him the truth along with all her concerns, or lie through a fake smile and a ‘yeah I’m good… she chose the latter option, nodding eagerly with a quick “Yeah, I’m good” it seemed convincing enough considering Pete left it at that, as he helped her down from the counter.

“Thanks again for the party, I’ve been so stressed out over this mission…that its just nice to feel some normalcy and spend time with my girl” the soft kiss pressed to her temple would usually be comforting, but she couldn’t brush off the uneasy feeling building in her chest.

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shardkn1ght · 1 year

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Newcomer advice: tag your au with a name of its own, so it'll be easier to find. In tumblr the more tags you put in and the more deranged they are the better

Thank you! I'll be sure to try and do this! The name of this AU is Hueso raised Leo AU ( very cool and original), so I'll start putting that in the tags! Thank you again for the help! :)

#Hueso raised Leo AU #he becomes a father #rise hueso #rise leo #rise fanart #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt leo #save rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #im new to this #im new to this please forgive me #leonardo rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #little pepino

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katierosefun · 1 year

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just got emotional thinking about what hjw might've had to go through in the year away from manyang, he was probably pestered by medias, having to deal with the trials and all the talks and whispers behind his back or even straight at his face. If i got the context right betraying his father was abig deal, yes many would praise him but many would shame him for being disrespectful and not filial. I'm sure hkh had big supporters in the force, corrupted people that wanted influence, power and wealth, they probably got mad at hjw for cutting short their connection and the future career advancement. All this might have reminded hjw how his life was before everything happened (my god something like "good things aren't bound to last") but after the time spent in manyang he changed, he got to experience love and closure, a found family and going back to his old habits might have felt so alienating now? he'd realize how cold and lonely that life was and struggling all the more due to it. I'm so glad he managed to fight his anxiety and fear and return to manyang + I'm fairly sure that once he saw that the people there still love him and welcomed him with open harms, he'd go back to stay. sorry if i wrote a lot but i wanted to share my feelings with someone who could understand and loves hjw too❤️

yeah, i was always incredibly fascinated by what might have happened in that year han joo won was away, and why i also just. think that han joo won probably really couldn't show his face not just because he probably felt a lot of shame, but also like. i dunno. my personal thought is that he was a fuckign mess for a little bit--like, the man you're in love with is also the man that you arrested, and the little community of people who cared about you can't possibly still love you now, not when you're the reason why their favorite person is going to go away . . .

and i feel like there definitely were a lot of people who probably looked askance at joo won to be like "how could you do that to your own father" or maybe other people who tried to swoop in and promote joo won for the sake of saving face, and i like to think that joo won was just like. blank-faced through it all. and just like, the thought of him running away from seoul and trying to go to a place where no one knows him is. yeah.

and also, i forget who might have said it, but there's also some speculation about whether joo won's the one turning down promotions or maybe joo won just never gets a promotion because maybe his name's also lowkey blacklisted since everything that happened with his dad. i like to think that it's joo won who keeps turning down promotions--maybe he's terrified that he'll ever really turn into his dad, because i don't think he ever will, but i do think that a small part of joo won will always still think about what greed and power can do to people, and he probably doesn't want even the littlest taste of that. (granted. han ki hwan was always a bad person, i think--you don't clamber up to the top with that kind of attitude unless there's already something broken inside of you, but i think. joo won would still. try to run from it.)

(especially since like. i think a lot about joo won hearing han ki hwan's conversation, what with han ki hwan being like "oh, joo won wants to think he's like me, but he's actually more like his mom", and seeing the fury but also the genuine pain on joo won's face because. yeah. as much as joo won scoffed at the mention of his dad even in the beginning, i think. it's the curse of certain children--the only child, the eldest child--to be like the father, especially when the mother is deemed weak or just out of the picture. little boys and little girls want to be the behemoth of a man that their father is; they want to be cold, logical, infallible. and i think as much as joo won hated talking about his dad, i look at how, esp. in the beginning of the show, he tried so hard to project that kind of attitude, with the whole "i don't need friends / i don't trust anyone / you have to be logical" when we so clearly see. how lonely he is and how he. still trembles a little bit when his dad yells at him and how he peers in through the windows of the shop like he's an alien. or maybe a very curious, kind of timid cat.)

so all that to say: yeah, i feel you anon. i love han joo won so much, and i love how beyond evil is just as much a story about joo won learning to fall into this beautiful (but slightly broken) community, and how i think. he must have healed along the way :'))

#answered #anon #beyond evil #i just!!! han joo won . . .. is so . .. . i love him so much #and i just. yeah.#something about how in the script book #han joo won had never seen his dad but when he graduates to the top of police university #his dad claps for him and joo won just thinks 'is that all it took.'#and joo won thinking that was funny but also in an awful way #i could write circles and circles around joo won's relationship with his dad #something about 'i hate you' 'i want to be like you' 'i will never forgive you' 'i talk to people the way you do now'#'you are the reason why i don't have a home' 'i still hated it when you pretended not to know me'#'i can't ever ask you for help' 'i am begging you to just tell me the truth let me help you' 'you are the devil himself'#'please. redeem yourself for ONCE' 'i hope you die i hope you die i hope you die' 'i will shoot you in my childhood house'#'i will still ask to be updated on the rest of your life' 'i hate you. i hate you'#'i don't love you but i also feel responsible for you somehow and is that the closest we'll get to familial love? is it?'#or whatever whatever whatever!!!#something about how han joo won's relationship with his dad. is probably the realest one to me out of all the kdrama family relationships #with objectively awful fathers #something about fathers who are awful and absent and greedy and yet #the child still. still desperately wants something even if they hate their father. like.#everyone hush i know this because han joo won rants to me when he's sad

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