#please excuse my autism

[sp1resong]

wikipedia list of commonly used taxonomic affixes i love you so much

#PLEASE ask me to elaborate on any point here im begging. give me an excuse to autism please bplease #especially the scientific names because i like them. but also the rest of it!! #rw specevo tag #art #my art #not described #rain world #slugcat #cw unreality #? i think

[myhyperfixationisback]

hey. what the fuck is up with Ratchet and Clank merch

#ratchet and clank #I was like ‘I have literally three pieces of merch of R&C despite it being my special interest since elementary school I should fix that’ #*goes online* the fucking horrors #what do you MEAN everything is at least $100 dollars or more??? excuse me??? #the employee exclusive one is almost always over a thousand dollars. y’all see the one priced like a small car right. #the fucking PLUSHIES ARE A HUNDRED DOLLARS??? #why. #the TINY FUCKING PIN IS $90???? #btw the three pieces I have are the Funko Pops (I am not a huge Funko Pop person but I saw them release and pre-ordered them for my b-day) #and then the Ratchet and Clank art book. that is all #I have all of the games but like. that’s not /merch/ per se it’s the actual series content #actually I take it back I no longer have all the games bc I’m missing the very first game in physical copy + the PSP games + the PS4-5 ones #and I am the most fucking rabid Ratchet and Clank fan. I am autism insane about it. and I don’t have ANYTHING #do you see how much of a tragedy this is. do you understand how damaging this is to me every single day #that I do not have a Clank plushie to hold. a Ratchet plushie to keep him company. and an Alister Azimuth action figure to abuse. #my goal is to make that video essay I’ve had in my brain for years and make Insomniac feel so seen that they gift me something. #bc of the heartfelt please of a disabled poor person that has loved their series so much all their life #I’m going to punch through a steel wall

[anghraine]

I had a hard time learning to say "please" and "thank you" as a child—not because I wasn't grateful or didn't want to be nice to people, it was just one of the social things that didn't wire itself into my head without being hammered in over and over until I was ... like, 16. I often read as annoyed, angry, or actively ungrateful, though I'm actually not often truly angry and tend to be extremely conscious of gratitude.

Anyway, the end result was a kind of predictable autism result of formulating please-and-thank-you scripts for every occasion in which I need something or am pleased about how something turns out. But my brain sticks so strictly to its formulas that I'm like "sorry, excuse me" to dogs and just found myself saying "hey, thanks!" to the 2010 edition of Photoshop on my computer.

(I didn't know how apparent this was during my testing, but apparently it was! The psychologist noticed that I tended to repeat rote phrases or even direct quotations to supply social responses, and, well, yeah.)

#this isn't really going anywhere but even i was like '...photoshop? really?' #but my brain is like: there are Rules #if you desire the good thing: please #if good thing occurs: thank you #if you require passage: excuse me #anghraine babbles #rare breed of attack unicorn #autism #etc

[painedpen]

Applying multilingual and ethnic headcanons on my favorite characters not because I relate to any of them (I am aggressively white), but because I am very Autism about different cultures and languages

#danganronpa #demon slayer #harry potter #my hero acedamia #boku no hero acedamia #fanfic #headcanons #multilingual #anthropology #culture #please ask me to elaborate #I am so autism about this #very normal #i promise #foaming at the mouth #languages #foreign languages #foreign cultures #it gives me an excuse to research cultures extensively #one way ticket to ticket town

[i-aint-even-bovvered]

Spotted at my local Five Guys

#autism creature #yippee yippee #Please excuse my dogshit phone camera quality #It is technically broken

[cameoutstruggling93]

Officially done working on a Saturday! Loved the college student panel where the students shared their disability by saying #TeamAutism or #TeamMentalIllness.

I too am #TeamMentalIllness ✌️

#please excuse my face #girls #bambi eyes #nerdy girls #hazel eyes #higher edu life 👉😎👉 #disability services #team mental illness #team autism #they all did so well!

[arttheclown]

thinking about how art sienna and jonathan are all autistic or heavily implied to be autistic. hm

#sid speaks #i probably have more to say about this subject but for now i would just like to draw everyone's attention to that particular subject #there is also something to be said about how people use sienna and jon's autism & sienna's neurodivergence overall #as an excuse to other them and treat them cruelly #really makes you wonder what art went through in his younger years and if he sees any of himself in the shaws at all #if that played any role in the punches he pulled. because my god he went easy on jonathan in particular #shaking damien leone by the shoulders & begging him to continue allowing art to develop into a deeper character PLEASE

[c0rpseattack]

Please ignore me being gross but like. how many of you guys when you think of a fictional guy (gender neutral) you want to bang do you picture them ina submissive role . like out of the billion of cartoon men I have bouncing around in my brain not once have I ever found the thought of them being dominant or anything like that appealing. i don't know why I am like this but I am and im wondering how it is with other people . all men need to cry

#Whenever i think of a fictional guy i feel like a being from another plane of existence saying Erm. split him in half. #please excuse my autism. i cant help it #incubus.txt

[tinyspringtrap]

it’s always awkward when my mom relays that once again my grandpa is bothered by the fact I hardly go upstairs

like. maybe if he could tone down the down racism, homophobia, and generally shitty attitude about most things... maybe I would be more inclined to visit upstairs?

Can’t really say that though so yknow...

#like we went to olive garden yesterday as a late birthday dinner for me #and my grandma was talking about a cute lesbian couple on her soap opera that got married #and here i am in the middle of olive garden hearing a homophobic slur from this man about it #also he has... a very sexist attitude #and he's gotten more zealous with the religion lately and its. uncomfy. #not only bc I am agnostic and don't really believe in any sort of higher power #but also because... like... dude... your grandpa was native... #and christian extremists are likely (definitely) why we no longer have any sort of connection to that part of our heritage... #he doesnt really talk about his grandma or parents so idk what thats about and im not about to ask #bc the man is a fucking minefield on a GOOD day #ive always gotten along way better with my grandma bc she doesn't seem to have the same beliefs as him #oh my god one time we somehow got on the topic of vaccines and autism #and this man tried to say straight up that only /virus/ vaccines do that #like... no... no vaccine. of any kind. causes autism. #how do you not know this. you have an autistic granddaughter. it was absolutely not the work of vaccines and you should know that #he's also CONSTANTLY trying to find an excuse/gotcha reason to feed the dog things I've warned them are toxic to her #like oh my god. just because some distant uncle i dont fucking remember says 'green grapes are fine just not red' doesn't make it fucking- #true?? #is this uncle a vet?? no?? then he needs to shut up. #these stories about relatives giving dogs coffee and chocolate aren't cute they're horrifying please stop trying to find an excuse to poison #your fucking dog. #is it not enough that you fed the last one a grape and had to rush her to the vet?? did that not give you all the information you needed on- #that?? #just because you cant see the damage doesnt mean it isnt being done ffs #'none of our dogs ever died of that' #that you KNOW of #even if it doesn't kill them it can still do permanent damage or make them feel ill for a while #also he's literally also constantly harassing my grandma to give the dog more treats and food despite the fact she's overweight #your last dog was twice her healthy weight can you fucking NOT with this one?? #and ofc he gets mad when my grandma doesnt want to shovel food at the dog like a furnace

[beet-n-ninja-cookie-daily]

Today's Ninja Cookie is a catto :3

#beetn'ninjacookiedaily #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ovenbreak #ninja cookie #mod jula #I JUST STARTED THIS BLOG A FEW WEEKS AGO AND I DON'T THINK MY GALLERY IS GONNA SUFFICE TwT #So now I'm just reposting some art I made for an ongoing art contest #on Instagram btw. held by @zoenatsuke_25 #please go check them out. especially if you're into both castle cats and cookie run #Update Mar.24: fuck this person they keep excusing their bad behavior with their autism and ADHD #as in they send death threats over being any non-praise comment. and put 'haters' on the same page as proshippers

[bitchapalooza]

Yay. My stupid cousin is coming home. Today. What fucking joy.

#'hes family we cant just let him live on the street' #hes a brat that has tried to kill us multiple times and abuses dogs that you all excuse with his anger issues and autism/adhd #please find assisted living as fast as possible im not ready to hear the yelling again i gotta hides my electronics now and money #bc i dont trust him from what hes done in the past #talkies

[mrswagtastic]

Introduce me to your teddy bear: show me its picture, tell me its name and how you got it. You can also add any additional info you want. If you don't have a teddy bear it can be any plushie you own or even a figurine. /@i-send-you-random-asks

OOO OOO YESSS THIS QUESTION IS SO AMAZING TY!!! Okay so I have like a lot of plushies and figurines so it was kinda hard to choose BUT I feel like this fellow has the most interesting backstory ig (I will gladly talk about and show any if the others if anyone asks though!!!)

Anyways this lil guy is Axel!! Basically one day I went to a fair with my family and it just wasn't a fun time (I despise fakrs theyre like my own personal sensory hell) and after a few meltdowns I came across this hook a duck game. I won and got this lil guy as a prize!! He honestly made me feel way better and I got super attached to him really fast because he was the most grounding and comforting thing I'd had all day lmao. I then got the idea to make an octopus plush army and now own I think 12 or 13 of them..? I've not done a count in a while but they're all very silly and bring me lots of joy!!! Axel is the leader of course because he's swag like that and his favourite food is blueberry pie and he also LOVES the Parappa the Rapper games like bro is hyperfixated. Also constantly attempts to skateboard despite his many failed attempts!! Thanks sm for this ask I genuinly loved it and I hope my answer was sufficient :3

#people should ask me moreabout my plushies #PLEASE GUYS I NEEDS AN EXCUSE TO RAMBLE #i cant be assed to make a sideblog for it #honestly kinda wanna turn this blog into just whatever i want #but idk if thats allowed #anyways ty sm aagin for the ask AAA #the autism is pleased #plushies #plushblr #octopus plush

[barbie-nightmare-house]

Are they going to put constantly pissing people off in the autism symptomatology

#I don’t mean to lol #get a knuckle tattoo that says AUTIS and then M on my other thumb #followed by like four little guns #so I can flash them #sorrrrrry I answered a question you asked meeeee #I don’t understand asking questions that you want a specific answer to #an answer which pleases you #neurological differences are not an excuse to be an asshole but it’s hard not to be an asshole when ppl lay booby traps #autism be damned

[harleythealter]

Somewhat my conversation with a ?friend? today.

Them: what was that?

Me: oh, that was a tic

Them: a what?

Me: a tic.

Them: ohh. What causes them?

Me: I think maybe my anxiety? *insert me likely over explaining that they happen most during heightened emotion*

Them: …that sounds like autism…

Me: *builds up contained energy* WOULDNT YOU KNOW. I have a theory. *grins* *builds up more contained energy*

*we both continue to talk for 80 minutes about autism. My theory as to the evidence that stacks up as to why I could be considered autistic. Why people say I’m not. Why the fact that I do not have trauma around how my brain functions would make me look different from the massive amounts of studies composed of a very specific demographic that I do not fall into whatsoever. Why the way I was raised by an empathetic mother and observed my father(I suspect he’s autistic) as my base role models. The fact that I was allowed to express myself and was not told to contain myself or be different. EVEN the girl who was so annoyed at us for getting into such a good convo instead of focusing about 80% energy into our card game instead said “well it’s a spectrum so..” (in context she was supporting that despite some traits of mine that would push people away from saying I’m part of the spectrum. That the evidence those people use can’t be definitive)

I forgot where I was going.

But fuck I’m excited and geeking out. I’ll just share the last random rambles :)

We haven’t even gotten to talking about my huperfixation on my world(one I built in my mind).

Oh. I mentioned that I mostly would trust people from the community that would suggest I’m on the spectrum instead of just a test or doctors because I’m not part of the demographic tests have been based on. So anyways. I was so happy. Also the person who I had most of the convo with mentioned that she was diagnosed with ADD and ADHD but thinks it’s actually autism. And suggested something similar. That all my suspected traits that point towards me on the spectrum could be valid put together even if it looks like something else. Because autism is how the brain functions. It’s not an illness.

Also we talked about how my parents didn’t see the use of labels and I got to geek out about how for me I see the use so I can find people who relate to me and people I can connect to.

We also talked about how people with autism/autistic people (whatever your preference) have emotions and express them(just in different ways than neurotypicals and even people who are on the spectrum as well). And so I got excited then too.

So anyways. Lots of stuff

I love new info on the topic!!! Please utilize the ask box!!! Or comments :D

#harleythealter #autism #the way my brain functions #this was such a long conversation #my tics kept interrupting this which was cool because we talked about why they happen more sometimes vs other times #the spectrum #my thoughts #:p #excuse the swearing #please use the ask box and comments to continue such an exciting discussion

[blindedguilt]

((from @booksofthelibrary ))

The young girl runs up behind the boy and sprays him playfully with a little bit of water. A harmless prank as she giggles before handing him a brand new net that she made for him. A 'R' carved into its handle.

"happy birthday!"

::RIVERSAL

"Waaah...!!" A sharp squeal erupted from the boy at the feeling of cold water on his back, the momentarily cry of shock quickly turning to a string of bright giggles as he flicked back a few drips from his hair towards Daffy. "Oi, you!! I'll get you for that, you know! You better watch your back, miss..."

He could hardly say he was displeased at her betrayal so much as pleased he had someone to play with! His brothers tried, but could never fully get in on his games, whether it be through confusion or other business they had to attend to.

Admittedly, though he would never say it out loud, he secretly felt rather jealous, perhaps even upset at the news of her getting together with Lukhege when he had initially found out. It was frustrating, in a way - he had finally found himself a friend to play with, and for what? ...Yet, even despite those initial worries, he was glad to be further comforted in the thought that he hadn't been forgotten by her presence with him that day.

The once beaming smile faded with the momentary rush of excitement and into curiosity as he was offered the finely crafted net. "Oh...This is..." A soft red creeped up to his cheeks with a sheepish, somewhat awkward look to his smile as he idly turned it over in his hands. It would have seemed forced in a way that he was trying to smile if not for the faint twinging at the corners of his lips threatening to break out into a wide grin. For someone who was usually so excitable, it seemed Riversal in particular had the most trouble accepting gifts - even compared to his younger brother Laum, who, while sheepish, was always capable of clearly showing his gratitude. Riversal, however...

The boy's long coat swayed as he rocked back and forth once on his heels, unable to fully look the other in the eyes as he spoke in a quiet, awkward little peep. "Thank you, Daffy... This is... Nice. Um...! Thank you. Well..."

Promptly, he spun on his heel, took a few awkwardly shuffled steps, and sat with his back turned and his feet spread to either side of the net he held between his legs. Though she couldn't see it, it wasn't hard to guess how red his face must have been as part of the kind gesture.

"...Come back later," He said suddenly, a flatly dismissive, determined tone to his voice, "I have something to think about." One of his tricks, now involving his new present, most like. "Thanks... Again."

His next words, though meant to be spoken in a tease, came off as nothing but a half-hearted suggestion in all his distraction. They were nothing more than a mouthed, near-inaudible whisper as he stared and plucked idly at the strings of the net with his fingers, too deep in thought to even notice the water dripping from his hair, much less to speak. "...Go chat with your boyfriend..."

Whatever could he be plotting? Whoever could he be plotting against? Riversal didn't speak, and sat there deep, deep in thought for a very long time.

"Hah! Got you!!"

...Ah, poor Leonard. It seemed that he had been chosen the unfortunate victim of his prank that evening. From a distance, the small Riversal could be seen standing triumphantly atop his older brother's back like a proud hunter with his prey. Leonard, conversely, would have been near invisible if not for his large form and the striking beige of his coat against the greenery of the forest. The poor hermit laid cruelly fettered on the ground, all that was visible being the blond of the head that laid face-down and the shoulders of both arms spread on either side. The net that had toppled him should have been relatively easy to remove from the foot tangled within it - his brother that stood on his back, however, was not.

"Please, release me at once!" The muffled plea sounded from the ground. With a dramatically boisterous laugh, Riversal's hands found themselves resting smugly atop his hips.

"No! I've got you, now, brother~!"

"Riversal! Please!!" A bit more insistence in his tone, and enough in a voice as deep as his to make the now 11-year-old almost immediately jump out of his skin and straight to the side of his ailing brother.

"Sorry, sorry! I'm sorry!!" Riversal was the one pleading now, his tone as frantic and shaky as his hands as he removed the trap net from Leonard's back. The eldest looked pale as he sat up on his knees, deathly silent in the face of his younger brother's apologies and concerns as to his wellbeing - his eyes were screwed tightly shut. He seemed shaken, with his shortness of breath, Laum noticed with a tiny frown.

...Maybe he was claustrophobic? Poor brother.

#||Reply||:Daffy #{/SO MANY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS...} #{/First and foremost: an apology. that day i told you i had it done and would send it out that night only to not do that?} #{/i wasnt lying i SWEAR; i just had it done but... i didnt look at my computer battery when i closed it for dinner and came back to it GONE #{/i was so pissed off i couldn't even think about it or any of my asks for the longest time until recently} #{/AND SOMETHING HAPPENED TO CAUSE THAT WHICH I'LL HAVE TO POST ABOUT SOON!!! gushy feels lmao} #{/I definitely won't say im grateful for LOSING the thing i spent so much time on but in the same breath} #{/this is honestly a lot better tbh} #{/I actually knew what I was doing with riv's character which is my next point!!} #{/the autism} #{/that is all} #{/finally; i wrote most of this last night when i was thinking about how magnitude negative} #{/*SMALL SMALL SPOILERS IN THE TERMS OF POTENTIAL CHARACTER DIVERGENCIES AHEAD*} #{/made leonard a masochist (like... a literal; full-on masochist im not even kidding) and} #{/daffy if he excuses himself please don't check up on him to make sure he's okay} #{/this also lined up HORRIBLY with my sudden connecting the dots on why riv's features looked so familiar to me} #{/one of those 'i've seen something like that somewhere before' situations; yeah?} #{/i finally figured it out. it has me both cackling and cringing VERY hard at the same time.} #{/i wont divulge anymore here but BOY OH BOY...}

[redrocketpanda]

This is just a random little thought that's currently unraveling in my brain that may be of interest to no one but me (which is fine, whatever, it's my blog and I'll leave my dirty laundry on the floor if I want to), but I am currently having some Thoughts about my fears around writing dialogue + characterization and wondering if this stems from being autistic...? I am also now genuinely curious whether those of you who are autistic who write fiction that involves people/characters (in all its many forms, including comics) may share similar fears/issues/generally relate to this

I find that I'm constantly tripping up whilst writing the fics I'm writing at the moment and started reflecting on what the issue(s) might be. In all of them, I know what's happening and what I want to happen, and yet when I come to write I feel like I start to choke. For the most part, I would say my previous fics have been quite Dialogue Lite. They tend to focus a lot on description and emotions. I know what the rooms look like, what the character's are doing, how they feel about each other... I know what it feels like to touch, to inhale someone's comforting scent, to be scared, to love... and I know that my writing is very emotive because of this

But when it comes to writing dialogue? Jfc kill me now. Every piece of dialogue I write feels like getting blood from a stone. It feels absurd. It sounds (to me) so unnatural. The KazuRei fic is supposed to be humorous and heart-warming; the Kunichi one teasing and hot. But my mind just draws a blank over and over again.

I don't experience this IRL - I always have something to say. People tend to find me to be charismatic and funny. But I have no idea how to translate this into writing, because I don't know how I'm doing it or sometimes even what I'm doing. It just comes out like that. I do also know that I constantly misunderstand people, often think about thing's very literally, find turn-taking difficult, and find things like RP stressful bc there's no dialogue options for me to choose.

And when I was sitting here reflecting on why dialogue scares me so much, I had this thought hit me; I don't really understand how people (who aren't me) talk to each other, I don't always really understand how verbal communication works, I don't really understand other people. And I'm scared of that being printed in black and white text for everyone else to see. I'm scared of people reading my work and realizing that I'm like... some kind of "broken" human.

If you ask me to pick a favourite character (let's take an easy one and go for Bakugou), I could tell you in intimate fucking detail about who he is, what his emotional landscape is, all of his fears and desires and dreams. Ask me to write something that he might say... and I can't. And the further we get away from characters that are like me, the harder it continues to get. I am finding it hard to even think about how my friends who I speak to every fucking day might respond to something.

Anyway, this was a really long ramble as my thoughts literally processed in my brain. And it's makes me super sad bc I would love to write something that people think is funny and has characters that people fall in love with, but I'm starting to worry that I don't have that capability

#autistic author brain spew #clean up on aisle 12 #wtf IS dialogue tho #maybe this is that thing where I just heap pressure onto myself again and I'm actually okay #but when I sit and think about it I genuinely really do not understand conversations #being autistic is just really fucking hard ok and I get through life just SAYING shit #and usually people tend to find it charming and only sometimes rude #rrp personal #autism #also please excuse the almost absent structure that's just how my brain works