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#play it loud for beat perfomance

bluebudgie · 8 months

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So I have this long-standing tradition where, after I finish a video game, I sit down and listen to the soundtrack outside of the game's context.

It serves as a sort of "conclusion" to the experience and simultaneously helps me evaluate the game as a whole a little better... After all the soundtrack is often what sticks with us long after we're done actively playing a game. It preserves the memories we've made along the way.

That means: I have finally found the FF Sixteen OST online in its entirety and could finally follow through with this tradition. (Debatable how much it applies considering I didn't actually play the game myself, but it felt necessary.)

The final missing piece to the pissbaby gamer rage essay. Significantly less raging this time, though.

It's okay. I don't love it. There's worse.

I had very unfavourable opinions of the OST during the game itself which might have been due to the overall pacing issues, where large stretches were filled with the same hub music and then everything bombastic all happened at once and either side of the coin was exhausting in its own way.

I still can't believe there are over 200 songs in the OST when I could have sworn I heard like. Maybe 10 or so during gameplay. A lot of it is very same-y. A large part of the OST can be split into "loud choir explosion" or "sad piano". There isn't a whole lot in between. Good for people who like it, not so much for me.

Which means my biggest issue is the very subjective "I just don't like the style". It's not a bad soundtrack, but I'm just really not a fan of the direction the music took. The battle themes are over the top (fair for the equally over the top DBZ kaijū battles, annoying with 3 wolves that show up on the side of the road). The calmer songs don't really hit right for me. No chord progressions or melodies that hook me. Unfortunate. I did however appreciate the electronic influences in the music when the alien baddies were on screen. (in this fantasy game that is based on medieval reality and that's why people of colour cant exi-)

I have also since learned that there isn't one acoustic guitar song that plays for 20 hours straight. There are like 6 or so that all sound the same. I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I hate them all. (I don't hate acoustic guitars. It's these songs in particular.)

That said - I was curious about which ones are people's favourite tracks of the OST and went checking those out in particular. Consistently in people's tops was Ascension and I can't deny that one's been plagueing (semi-endearing) my memory a bunch the past days. Probably the theme that stuck out the most to me while watching the game. If not the entire theme, then at the very least That Violin Part. If you know, you know.

You know what. If you don't know, here:

(footage stolen from here)

Like damn. Good rhythm going on there with the off beats. Also fits the relevant character nicely in terms of mood. And I like that the battle phase before this one has a more low-key version of this song playing before it goes into this full ham version.

I just kinda wish more of the battle music had been a bit more... this. A bit more... subtle. Like yes it slaps hard but this song legitimately feels calm in comparison to the other battle tracks. This drives me nuts.

There's one other song I keep getting stuck in my head which is one that plays fairly close to the end (in the final... "dungeon" (cutscene? sequence? QTE battle?)). I figured out today that I don't actually really enjoy listening to the song on its own but I like it in-game in combination with the voice perfomance. There's an interesting dissonance in it that blends super nicely with the voice acting. (I'm being held hostage by the game's voice acting. It's unfortunately way too good. Voice actors are once again holding too much power over me.)

Other than that... I have one final criticism. The prelude theme. We must. Leave it. Alone. Enough. It's fine playing once as a gimmick somewhere in the game (I do genuinely like the menu (pause screen?) arrangement) but having it woven into what seems like every 5th song feels like someone is smacking a sign into your face that screams "YOU ARE PLAYING A FINAL FANTASY GAME." Seriously it's unbearable. (Also I did take notice of the FF1 overworld theme being rearranged into a battle theme for the final segment of the game. I don't know why, but fine. Not complaining about that one.)

Overall it's a solid "mh" from me. Not the worst OST we've had in the series (thirteen trilogy exis-COUGHAGFNJKN) but definitely on the lower end for me. Not of bad quality, but not my cup of tea at all. Dark Souls III OST executed the epic orchestra choirs better somehow. More interesting composition. Spaced out better throughout the game. Idk.

Welp. Back to getting haunted by voices and violins now o/

#at some point i will have made 122 posts about this game and every single one will be about the exact same battle sequence #like a horse wearing a blinker

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kunikame · 2 years

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a short fic about blasting songs in miyukis room (which later becomes the cafeteria) with the seidou boys written for my linked playlist bc i felt i needed to write this. hope you enjoy <3

i only wrote the things i imagined! feel free to imagine any other scenarios for other characters with the songs! if you do, let me know in the comments! id be happy to read them <3

warnings: i betaread this while listening to enstars songs. fem pronouns. lowercase. probably nothing more but lmk :)

ㅡ！tags: @toges-wife / fill form/pm/ask/comment to be added! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)

after the boys secured a spot at nationals you figured it called for a celebration or something, so you grabbed kuramochi and eijun - who in turn grabbed furuya and haruichi - and raided miyukis room. he really didn't want to let you guys in, koushuu disagreed aswell, but too bad because majority wins. kuramochi set up the speaker and the playlist you now and the previous 3rd years threw together started playing.

the others were of course alarmed by this because, loud upbeat music? from miyuki and koushuus' room? seto takuma has never run so fast in his life. everyone sprinted over in worry, only to see the blame lay on you - which made way more sense.

they also wanted to join the celebration but the room was too small to hold all of you, so eijun proposed the - for once - brilliant idea to move to the cafeteria, which you did, after a moment of stunned silence. the previous 3rd years who were still hanging out there with some of the 2nd and 1st years also joined the party, as they should.

the song that started through shuffle was where them girls at. thanks to it you found out the kominato twins listen to nicki minaj - as they should. you and the pink haired twins along with seto, kawakami and yui were screaming the nicki songs at the top of your lungs.

the guys really got into cruisin for a bruisin, it was their favorite song from when you all watched teen beach movie together! the whole reason you added it to the playlist. surprisingly, shirasu and aso took the spotlight for this one!

jalebi baby and shut up and dance were entirely yours and kuramochis songs. he asked you to dance with him for both, how could you refuse? neither of you would be caught alive admitting to be flustered with the other so close to you, though. You could swear you saw ryousuke recording and snickering, but it might've just been your imagination.

big time rush didn't even a need a voting, everyone knew who the big 4 were for that one. koushuu (unwillingly), miyuki (unwillingly but he got really into it), eijun (willingly, got too into it) and furuya (he had fun?). it was a precious sight. you all had a great laugh over their perfomance, but it was great. their voices meshed together unexpectedly well.

the greatest show started playing exactly when coach kataoka came to check what the commotion was. miyuki and yuuki, as the captains, took the lyrics for this one. they switched each line, and it worked really well. all the background vocals were done by the rest of you. it was a sight to see. you all working together. almost like during matches. rei placed a camera in the cafeteria to record and commemorate the whole thing. her and kataoka chose to stay with you, while ochiai decided he'd rather not. thank heavens.

after the boys had their moments, you figured it was the girls time to shine, and the playlist seemed to agree with you. the moment you heard the intro to girlfriend you ran to get whatever you could use as a microphone and got ready to sing your heart out, fellow manager and close friend takako joined you soon after. the guys clapped after your perfomance, enjoying it to the fullest just as you enjoyed theirs.

this is what you adored about the seido baseball club. you were like family. a huge family with its ups and downs that always came back together. everyone supported everyone, but there was still friendly competition.

die young. "i hear you heart beat to the beat of the drums" *everyone bangs a fist on the nearest surface* "oh what a shame that you came here with someone-"

dj got us fallin' in love. jun shone with this one. his voice cracked while screaming "CAUSE BABY TONIIIIiiiiGHT". continued like nothing happened. professional

of course, some songs passed without any screaming as you get tired and so do your vocal cords, but the music never stopped. volume lowers and people sit down to drink and talk a bit, then when another screamable song comes up the volume goes back to max and it's like you never stopped. you were peacefully laughing with seto when kuramochi called out to you, pushing the volume higher on the speaker. immediately recognizing the intro you grabbed your bottle and it's like you were waiting for this moment your entire life, except everyone else was confused. ryousuke didn't remember this song being in the playlist.

"once upon a time, a few mistakes ago-"

ryousuke walked up to kuramochi after you got into your singing. "dude, what's this about?" kuramochi while never once breaking his fond gaze off you simply shrugged, "reminds her of her past crush on narumiya- or was it sanada? i dunno, some guy she met through us.. always played this song when she realized who the guy was, so she added it here i guess." ryousuke just hummed in understanding then moved his gaze over to you, surprised to see you now standing on a table with the guys around you sweatdropping but cheering you on nonetheless.

when memories by conan gray came on, someone moved to lower the volume only to stop at the death glare they received from you and miyuki kazuya himself. For someone who was so against this, he sure got mad over that song, huh. It became a heartfelt duet, but noone understood why a duet with you 2. It was a secret.

"so there's no good reason in make-believing that we could ever exist again. I can't be your friend, can't be your lover, can't be reason we hold back eachother from falling in love, with somebody other than me."

after that, the night continued in this spirit. everyone was enjoying themselves, everyone got a chance to sing their song be it alone or with someone, even coach and rei! as the playlist was slowly running out of songs to play, the one song you put on 'hide in playlist' begged to be played. you, of course, granted it's wish, as it was a song you left for last on purpose. you called out to your co-organizer, kuramochi, who looked at you and based off your sparkling eyes instantly knew. a loud "hey!" came out of his throat, and the idle chatters volume slowly went down.

"everyone, if you would please look over here," you said waiting for them to switch their gazes over to you, "yeah, thank you. so, uh, first of all congratulations on todays win! i never for a second thought we wouldn't make nationals. i knew if anyone, you guys would do it. with the 3rd years there to support you, with the field players and us in the dugout, with coach kataoka, the pitchers, all of you. i knew you'd make it, and i'm so endlessly proud of you! of your hard work, will to fight, endurance.. i can't wait to see how far you - we - can go. let's aim for the top. now, if you would all please rise for the 2010-2014 seido baseball club anthem!"

coach kataoka and rei nodded along with your speech, as they felt the same way - proud of how far the boys have come - and though confused, stood up along with everyone else. most people stood in silence and slight confusion, looking toward kuramochi for answers, only to be left disappointed when the man wouldn't give any. he simply continued staring at you with a very warm and fond look in his eye.

the nights - avicii

Once upon a younger year

When all our shadows disappeared

The animals inside came out to play

Went face to face with all our fears

Learned our lessons through the tears

Made memories we knew would never fade

everyone instantly recognized the intro, smiles and grins lighting up their faces. the joyous screaming resumed, only this time it was everyone, not just a couple people. You ran over to kuramochi and miyuki, grabbing each hand, motioning to them to keep the chain going. soon, everyone was holding hands and jumping around together, screaming at the top of their lungs.

One day, my father, he told me

"Son, don't let it slip away"

He took me in his arms, I heard him say

"When you get older

Your wild heart will live for younger days

Think of me if ever you're afraid"

He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind

So live a life you will remember"

My father told me when I was just a child

"These are the nights that never die"

My father told me

each time a "Hey" was yelled in the song, it was also yelled by the group (jun was having the time of his life). eijun encouraged everyone to jump along for emphasis, an idea many supported.

though miyuki and koushuu were originally against this, you think this might be the first time you've seen kazuya genuinely happy, and koushuu coming out of his shell. your party was probably heard all the way to the other dorm buildings but you didn't care. that was a problem for tomorrow, for now you decided you'll just live in the moment.

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reptileranting · 1 year

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Mijira- Chapter 2

There we go- another chapter. Sorry to keep you waiting. CW: Gore, Fantasy Racism, Bug eating, Cannibalism It was a snowy autumn night outside the tavern. Inside, the dwarves on stone tables and wooden chairs loomed over the mushroom wine and root soup and brooded over the day that had passed. The aroma mixed with the earthy, pungent smell of dwarf grease and animal fat, smothering the cave. The only release was the small hearth before which a small, reptilian creature swung two hollowed out beetles on a rattle‘s stick. The „Razz“ musician’s clunking, free style rhythms reverberated through the inn‘s domed stone ceiling, earning the scornful gaze of the residents. It wasn‘t bad music. But it reminded them of what they’d consider better, dwarven music.

Then the door creaked open slowly, revealing a massive frame that ill fit into the narrow cave. The guests shrunk away from the shadow‘s monstrous form. Hushed whispers filled the room. A drake. Always bad news. Always trouble. Like grass in the wind, the drinkers in its wake. The creature, with scales like scorched earth and clad in iron taken from all lords’ countries, stomped to the fire, leaning its tall and wide body against the hearth. Its yellow eyes grazed the room, wandering with an unknowable expression. Silence choked the inn until the barkeep, small for even her kind, shouted from across the counter.

“Now there, you gonna order or you gonna leech heat and scare the customers?”

“Soup.” the warrior replied, her voice uneven, gravely but vibrating with a sonorous strength.

“Not that good with words, eh? You're gonna get it from here once it’s done. Not gonna scare the barmaids into an early grave.”

“Fine, Mijira needs to sit down for it, anyway.” The tavern owner hurried off, shouting commands into the kitchen. “Gonna be ready soon enough. Just wait. And don’t be weird!”

The stranger gave no reply and pressed herself against the hearth’s wall. The Finns covering her ear holes perked slightly up as the drakeling razz musician continued his performance. The small green creature reached a loud part in the improvisation. The she-drake snorted and he turned to face her. No eye contact, so he didn’t want to assert his dominance. Neither did she. She opened in the dragons’ tongue. “Your play pleases Mijira, small one. Can you talk and perfom?” He nodded. “Good. For I don’t think these people will talk to me.”

The patrons exchanged meaningful glances and some cautious snickers between each other. She could smell the fear rising from the inngoers as the two of them exchanged a series of hissing and clicking noises.

“Any work for a sellsword around these parts? Mijira wandered the whole dwarven realm in search for work, found nothing and her funds are starting to dry up”

“I am sorry, miss, but the times are peaceful. The casteless had a mutiny recently but that business is over.”

“Not even as an adventurer or something? They don’t need someone supervising and beating up their shitshovelers now?”

“It does not seem so. Now the bureaucrats gotta have detachments from the military castes with them, whenever they go somewhere dangerous. Paid by the king, too.”

She let out a discontent snarl. “Makes sense, just not for Mijira. Do you have a guess as to how the king ever managed to browbeat the military into this? It’s not what they consider glorious.”

“A good question. They say he’s made some changes to the courts, got some new personnel, but that’s the extent of my knowledge.”

“Not like Mijira can make him change his mind, can she? Anyway, Mijira’s thanks for your music and answers so far, bard. What is your na-“

“Soup!” the barkeep yelled.

“Mijira’ll be there for you in a moment.” She threw the drakeling a silver and some copper coins. „There you go.“ Bobbing their head, the bard uncorked their rattle. They let the silver and two of the copper coins fall in and resumed the play. The barbarian bobbed their head in acknowledgement and turned around.

The barkeep set down the plate with a resounding whack. Like with all good dwarven artisanry, neither the dinnerware nor the table suffered any ill from it. Mijira stared at the insect plates swimming along the broken down vegetables.

Her tongue flickered out, taking in the salty vapors and pungent smell of roots broken down into edibility by hours of cooking. She eyed the sprinkler filled with lead shavings nearby. A fool’s choice. Yes, the taste would be more bearable, but the metal always brought one to bad decisions. If you weren’t a dwarf, that is. There was only way through a dwarven meal- charging in.

She closed her eyes, gagged and lifted the bubbling plate up, pouring it into her open mouth. Like water down the drain, the food disappeared without a single gulp. With a snapping sound and another gag, she closed her mouth, small wafts of steamescaping the nostrils.

The dwarfs stared at her in disgust and -belief.She shoved some coins the barkeeps way and wanted to make her way back to the fire. But as she turned aroundm she bumped into something. One dwarven specimen, clean shaven but ash covered, that was small for even their kin.

„Watch where you‘re going, you fucking turt..le.“ He snarled, casting an angry glance at her.

“No harm intended.“ The drake growled.

To the dwarf, the creature remained motionless and answered in a deadened monotone. Not so to the bard. Her tail and posture shifted, slouching down. The sharp scent of anger rose in his nose. But more worrying was the musty stench that the dwarf’s ashen odor barely held back. Potent, it was. Dark. Simmering, sizzling. Ready to burst. He remembered the face and smell of his benefactor and stowed the coin laden rattles.

The scenery of the dwarf’s face was undergoing a rapid tectonic change. The white snowcaps of the sooty and cracked skin melted as volcanic veins burned red underneath. The rage accrued from living a privileged middle aged live could no longer be contained by the plug of godly morals.

„NO HARM INTENDED?

HARM

INTENDED.

DO YOU KNOW THE KINDS OF EMOTIONAL DAMAGES YOUR MERE EXISTENCE INFLICTS ON US?

“You come to our tavern, eat our food and use your elven gold to pay the decadent wild man music this degenerate runt inflicts on us! How dare you tramble our values? How dare you spit into the face of everything that is good and decent? How dare you? HOW. DARE. YOU?”

The drakeling cringed away from the scene, his possessions in hand. But before he could get far, something heavy and fast rammed into him. His gear flew to the ground, scattering about. Another dwarf, cleaner then the other and dressed in the ostentatious clothes of a jeweler towered over him. Already, he pilfered the rattle and coin purse of the razz player with manic speed, stuffing it into sack.. “Help! I am being robbed by these reptiles!” He screamed.

In seconds, the bard was grabbed by the bystanders, as all eyes were on the source of the commotion now. Boos, slurs and outraged curses erupted from the citizens.

Before either Mijira or the bard could act, the smith decked the drake in the stomach. With a wheeze, she staggered back. And then a third, broader dwarf tackled her legs from behind, throwing her down. The two jumped her, the metalworker battering her with fists, the other hammering a barstool into her stomach.

The drakeling screamed, twitching and trying to escape. But against the vice grip of dwarves, his twig-like limbs did no good. “Thief!” “Drakerunt!” “Stealing from honest dwarfs!” An old song. He stopped struggling, freezing like prey before the hunter as a cold sense of futility crept into him. The punches hit like an avalanche. Before long, darkness clouded his vision. Mijira, still struggling, roared with rage as the barstool raced towards her head.

And then, a plopping sound of air giving way as if a bottle of wine had been opened turned the heads away from the bard and onto her. The barstool, with explosive speed, was flung to the room and shattered into thousands of pieces. The broad dwarf, however, screamed in bone chilling agony and clasped his right arm. The drake had bitten it half of. Now, it swung wildly around. Blood sprayed everywhere as dying nerves send inconsequential cries for help.

Both her assailants recoiled in horror as the beast jumped onto the belly of the other and sunk her razor sharp teeth into it, biting down on the intestines again and again. The rest of the tavern screamed out in horror. A desperate race out of the tavern ensued as blood red guts flew about and the agonized shrieks of the would-be attacker died.

Mijira idly watched the fleeing dwarves, recovering from her rage and the beating she took. Slowly rising up, she swallowed the bits of flesh still tangling in her mouth and licking her muzzle clean. So far so good. But she knew the bard had been in trouble. And no trace of him. Not good.

Her tongue flicked out and she took up the scent of the bard and his captors. No heed was paid to the surviving dwarf as he whimpered and groaned, barely holding onto his arm. He had stopped fighting and, as far as she reckoned, would not want to talk. And even if he wanted to, nothing he could tell her would be either as true or as interesting as the trail of smell spreading before her.

#dark fantasy #dwarves #eat bugs #mijira #cannibalistic #kobold #bard #anti hero #anthro #furry #scaly

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scarletwinterxx · 3 years

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you want it babe

so uuhm kind of a continuation of this scenario . Also the amount of Jaemin ig content we’re getting? 😍😍😍

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

“Yah Na Jaemin” you shouted as you enter the practice room, today was one of the rare days you don’t have anything to do for school so Jaemin immediately took the opportunity to make you visit him.

Usually when it’s comeback season you don’t get to see each other pretty much until it’s over, but he heard you had some free time, called and asked you, more like demanded for you to spend some time with him.

Your bestfriend was currently sitting in the corner of the practice room, sprawled on the sofa there scrolling through his phone

“Who knew it would take another comeback for you to finally use instagram again” you told him, sitting by his legs

“I had nothing to post” he mumbles, eyes still on the screen of his phone

“So why did you ask for my presence to be brought here if you’re just going to stare at your phone, I might as well just call you via facetime”

He just let out a chuckle before setting his phone down, putting both hands behind his head now his full attention was on you.

Is it just you or the room suddenly got a bit stuffier?

“Oh before I forgot, where’s Jisung and Chenle?”

“Why?” he asks, just then the two youngest one walked in “that’s scary” you mumbled before calling the two over

“I bought you hot chocos”

“This is why you’re my favorite parent, don’t tell my mom or dad that” Jisung said then added the last part, “She’s just my favorite, period. I’m your favorite too right noona?” Chenle asks you but before you could give him an answer Jaemin butted in

“I’m her favorite, I”m literally her bestfriend. Go find someone else, she’s mine”

“Oooh you hear that, he just called her mine” Chenle teased, Jisung joining in. Instead of reaction weirdly, you just went with it even though on the inside you swear you were freaking out.

“Where’s my coffee?” Jaemin asked, sitting up on the couch acting like the other two boys weren’t there

“Who said I got you coffee?” he just looked at you with a blank look, waiting for the answer

“It’s with Jeno, he saw me coming in and offered to help me out. And that is why he’s my favorite”

Speaking of Jeno, he finally entered the practice room with the coffee and snacks you brought for the boys. The other towing behind him.

“You didn’t have to buy this much” Jaemin mumbled but still shot you a smile, “They’re not for you, don’t include us” Haechan said as he take a coffee and some snack

“Actually, those donuts are for Jaemin. I had to make those myself since I can’t find donuts with jam that isn’t strawberry so I had to make them”

That made Jaemin smile so big as he take one of the donuts out of the bag, an inside joke you share with each other playing in his head.

“Find your own bestfriend. Next time, I’m going to ask you out without them around” Jaemin casually said as he take a bite of the donut.

You looked so fast over to him you feel like you just gave yourself a whiplash, 6 other pairs of eyes on Jaemin too. He was sipping on his coffee, when he looked up he was surprised to see everyone looking at him

“What?”

“You just said you’ll ask her out” Jeno said slowly, looking over the two of you.

“Yea, why?”

“Are you drunk?” Renjun asks “What are you talking about? You guys are being very weird”

“Yea they’re being weird” you said as you look over the boys, silently asking them to stop whatever they were doing

“We always hang out, why is that weird?”

“Are you sure you two are just friends?” Renjun asked back, making you choke on the coffee you were just drinking. Jaemin’s hand immediately on your back, giving you gentle pats.

“I have years worth of proof that we are” Jaemin answered confidently all while tending to you, thankfully after that the boys didn’t push any further.

When the rest of the boys went back to their own agendas leaving you and Jaemin by yourselves again, you remembered you brought over something else for him

“Before I forget, I bought something else” you said as you take the paper bag you brought with you earlier passing it over to him

Once he saw the content of the bag, he immediately let out a laugh

“Hot sauce?”

“What? I think it’s very fitting”

“We have tons of this around”

“If you don’t like it you can give it back” you acted as if you were taking it back form him but he held it farther from you

“No this is mine now. Thank you” he said with a smile

“For the next comeback, what will you give me?”

“Depends, I guess”

“What if our next single is named something like kiss?” he asked with a teasing smile on, oh be still your beating raging heart.

“You want a kiss?”

“Are you offering?”

“I mean, I think I can find a way”

Days later, when they were on the studio preparing for a perfomance, Jaemin was just sending you random texts here and there when Jisung came giving him a bag

“What’s this?”

“From Y/N noona, she told me to give it to you”

Jaemin smiled the moment your name was mentioned, excited to see what you have up your sleeve this time. Opening the bag, the gift inside making him laugh out loud

“Why? What did she give you?” Jisung asks

“Kiss” well technically kisses since it was a big bag of chocolate kisses. Snapping a picture of your gift and sending a quick text of thanks and a kissy face emoji before stepping on stage with a little extra bounce on his step.

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moondustis · 4 years

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songs for you (m)

pairing: nakamoto yuta + reader genre: smut, angst, fluff / friends to lovers, 70s, band!au word count: 10k summary: A story about dreams, music, groupies and falling in love with your best friend. It’s the 70s, baby, live a little. song rec: miss you - the rolling stones / woman - harry styles / grow up - paramore

You don’t remember much of your childhood, just flashes and weird memories that pop in every now and then. That’s what happens as you get older, you guess. But here’s something you remember:

Nakamoto Yuta, three years older than you, walking inside your house with his mother holding his hand. You had seen the woman before, a very good friend of your mom from a long time ago, but the scrawny kid by her side was something new. And in your young age, nothing seemed more intimidating than a boy older and taller than you.

It didn’t go very well, let’s just put it like that.

But still, for some reason, after that day the boy sticked to your side like glue. A friend you could say, even with the age difference and the intimidating stares. It was like Yuta got himself a permanent place on your life, always teasing you, but also always making sure you were okay.

As a teenager, you remember daydreaming of travelling the world. Finally getting away from the too small town you lived in and away from all the stupid closed minded people that wanted to know about everybody's business. You remember Yuta showing you songs that you never heard before, Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, Hendrix, the list would go on and on. It was like music became a little world you had built for yourselves, where you could be who you truly wanted to be.

The both of you had always dreamed of something more, something exciting and that made your blood rush with adrenaline. You wanted to live, experience the things you only heard about in the records Yuta played for you and what you saw on the telly at late night at his house.

That’s something you had been thinking about a lot these days, while you watched roads pass by through the windows of the barely comfortable tour bus. Because, somehow, you had made it, your dreams had come true and at the age of 20 you got to go on tour with your band and finally see the world you had only fantasized about, even if it was only a few cities not that far from yours.

The band, put together by none other than you and your best friend, consisted of four people: you on the guitar, something you had learned by watching Jimi Hendrix too much, Taeyong on the bass, Doyoung singing, Johnny on the keyboard and last but not least, Yuta as the drummer. Oh, and you couldn’t forget about Taeil, your self proclaimed manager that didn’t gain anything with this job but the opportunity to travel with you all.

And with punk and classic rock influences all over your songs, you were not half bad, had gotten the opportunity to tour for a reason and could even make the small crowds that gathered to see you sing along, achieving an even smaller amount of fans that proclaimed their adoration for you.

It was literally the start of a dream come true, but for some reason you had been feeling weird the past days. Like your mind just started wondering out of nowhere, like it is now, and you started to think about things that made a lump form in your throat. Because see, it was great, the music and all the perfoming, the parties and the small magazines, but you didn’t feel happy all the time. You wondered if 16 year old you would be proud.

A loud clash spurs you out of your trance and brings you back to the studio you’re all in, trying to record a new song. Yuta looks at you with an annoyed expression as the plate on the drums still stirs.

“Wake the fuck up, you’re daydreaming again.” He says, without real bite to the words, but still mean enough to make you snap back. “We only have one hour left and the song is not even halfway finished.”

“Sorry.” You murmur, guitar feeling heavy but comfortable as you reposition it. Taeyong starts counting and then the melody of the familiar song you had all finished writing yesterday starts. Your fingers find the guitar strings with ease and you let yourself go with the music.

❀

There were few things better than making music with your best friends. Travelling to different places, standing in front of a crowd no matter how small and performing, the money you managed to split among yourselves, they were all great but nothing came close to being in a studio with the people that became your family while you did the thing you all loved the most.

It’s a small studio this time but the atmosphere is good, with velvet walls, tiled floor and low lights. The smell of weed is intoxicating and you feel high after not even that many hits. Maybe it’s just the joy of being in the moment.

The small sketchbook you take around with you everywhere stays placed on your lap with possible lyrics written all over it in a messy way, because when inspiration hits it’s impossible to keep an organized mind. Your head stays tilted back, eyes closed as the melody Taeyong is playing and your own thoughts fill your head. They come and go with no rush, something that is rare because usually you’re all over the place, overthinking until you get a headache.

Taeyong hums something to go along with the bass and a smile forms in your lips at how good it sounds already, good enough to have your eyes opening as you write down the things your mind provides. These days it’s mostly about the same things, finding yourself and the overwhelming feeling that came with it, even more when you did it while discovering the world and you recent acquainted opportunities. But they are also about something that you like to ignore. You knew very well it was there, would be too obvious if you didn't, but pretending you didn’t was better. Safer.

Johnny plops down next to you on the leather couch, a silly smile on his lips as he tries to take a peek at your writing. “What is it you got there? Another love song?” He asks just the tiniest bit teasingly, making you blush because that’s the exact subject you would like to avoid.

Love, what a weird thing isn’t it? Both in concept and in practice.

You had once thought you would never fall in love, too independent and doing well on your own. But that’s the thing about it, you don’t really get to choose when or if it’s going to happen. Love strips you down of your free will and there’s nothing you can do but succumb to it.

Were you in love, though? That’s a good question, really. You weren’t one to think you knew everything about it and had it all figured out, because in reality the mere thought of it scared you. But there’s this feeling on your chest that you can quite find another word for.

“Maybe.” It’s your answer to Johnny’s question. “But it’s none of your business.”

He laughs when you poke out your tongue at him, nudging your shoulder playfully. “It is when I’ll be also playing it live.”

He’s right but you won’t give out the privilege of letting him know that. Not that you would have time, because Taeyong is calling him to go over the melody together and soon you’re on the couch by yourself again.

You ponder getting up as well to play a little, on hopes to find the right notes to fit the raw lyrics you had, but your body feels lethargic enough from being high and you decide against it.

Closing your eyes again you only open them when the couch tips again, this time Yuta sits down close to you. Closer than Johnny had and you can smell his cologne amidst the strong smell of weed that's in the entire room.

“What you up to?” He asks, arm resting behind you on the couch and the gesture makes you feel small. He smiles, glancing down at your notebook and flipping through the pages gently.

“Just… writing and stuff.” You feel higher now than you did before for some reason.

He hums, looking straight ahead now, but you continue looking at him. “You’ve been really quiet lately.” He points out, no beating around or questioning. It must’ve took a lot of thinking from his part to finally say that to you, because talking about anything that could become too personal was far from his strength.

“Yeah, I think I’m probably just homesick. Or something like that.” It’s not a full lie so he falls for it, nodding as if indicating he feels the same.

“Missing your mom’s cooking, huh? Can’t say I’m not either.” He jokes and it makes you crack a smile. “But I get that. But most times when I start to get homesick I remember I got you.”

He says it still looking at Taeyong and Johnny as they play. His voice is calm, slightly slurred when he adds. “And you’re practically home to me.”

His eyes move to you then, a smile on his lips as his arm pushes you closer in an almost hug. He acts as if he just didn’t say something that makes your heart somersault in your chest.

Like he didn’t just say something that made you think you were in fact, in love.

❀

The adrenaline that came with performing in front of more than twenty people was something unmatched. You jump around the stage, playing like it could be your last time with fingers a little red from the guitar strings but you couldn’t care less, not with the music playing so loud and your heart beating so fast.

Yuta smiles wickedly when you stand in front of him, hands moving as fast as yours as the drum and guitar mix together. You smile back, thrilled and beyond excited that you get to do this with your best friend every night.

The best friend which you had been nurturing feeling you didn’t know how to deal with for. What a messy situation, because for one there was an unsaid rule that you shouldn’t have any sort of romantic relationship with your bandmates. And secondly, Yuta just wasn’t interested in you like that, he had his groupies to keep him busy.

Groupies that don’t take long after the end of the show to gather around him as you walk outside the venue. And you would really like to say that it doesn't bother you, that you couldn't care less, but you can’t. Because you hate it and think it’s a little pathetic how Yuta whispers something to a girl wearing barely anything and how it makes her giggle.

But even more pathetic is the fact that you seem to be bothered by it only because it’s him. All your other bandmates had girls all around them too, Doyoung especially with a different girl under both of his arms. Hell, even you had a small share of men and women that tried their luck approaching you and no one seemed to pay no mind.

When it came to Yuta’s groupies though, it made you almost livid. With how obnoxious they were and how he gave then smiles and flirted like a man with a very defined goal.

You manage to play it cool, though, had mastered the art of pretending by now.

❀

You're sitting on the hotel bed, the only light coming from the outside lamps and the moon shining bright, but it’s enough for you to be able to write the words down on your sketchbook. Inspiration always striked at late nights for some reason, probably because of the loneliness of it all.

You’re playing the guitar mindless, trying to find the perfect melody to fit the lyrics you had just gotten out, when there’s knock in the door. And it would be weird if you weren’t already used to it.

Putting the guitar aside you get up from the bed and tiptoe to the door, peeking on the fish eye to confirm your suspicious. Yuta stands there, hair falling to his face and wearing a shirt that has too many buttons open. He smiles when you open the door, charming and familiar. “Hello there, sweet cheeks.”

Rolling your eyes, you move out of the way to let him get inside your hotel room. “That’s the worst pet name you could ever come up with.”

He makes himself comfortable, plopping down on your bed and taking a lot of space with his spreading. “Don’t lie, I know you like it.” His voice is convinced and you won’t bother trying to change his mind.

“Can’t sleep?” You ask, changing the subject as you move to sit on your previous spot. Now, closer to him, you can smell the faint smell of his cigarettes lingering underneath the cologne he probably applied so you wouldn’t notice. Smoking was the way he found to deal with the annoying thoughts that filled his mind at night, resulting in an awful case of insomnia. Not that he would admit that.

“Sleep is for the weak.” He says nonchalantly and you scoff.

“Yeah, yeah. Real artists live on coke and music, is that it?”

He laughs now, amused while he scratches the exposed tattooed skin of his stomach. “That’s the spirit. We’re already halfway there, might as well, huh?” He jokes and you just roll your eyes, kicking him lightly on the shoulder.

“We can't have that stuff around us. One line and Taeyong will be climbing up walls.”

“Taeyong? Please, we both know the one climbing walls would be you.”

You laugh out loud this time and he follows, shaking his head. Times like these, where it was just the two of you, felt too much like when you would stay in his room to listen to records and talk about things that didn’t really make sense.

When your laughter settles down Yuta moves around until his eyes land on your sketchbook and he takes it to read what you’ve been working on. You don’t protest because there’s no reason to, he knows your thoughts almost as well as you do.

He hums, eyes roaming around the page and lips turning a little. “This is good.” His voice is genuine and it makes you blush, praise was something weird to take.

“I’m still working on it, though.”

“Hmm, let me know when you finish it then, we can work the melody together.”

“Of course, can’t make a song without my favorite drummer.” You say it in a funny voice as if you’re joking but he knows it’s nothing but the truth. The first song you had made with him was at 17 and now every time inspiration struck he was always either by your side or on your mind. He called it a connection, a deep one that many artists could only dream of happening. Musical soulmates he had called it once and you agreed, it was like you were just in tune with each other.

You play a little of what you had so far to him, the clock blinking red when it hits 1AM but neither of you bother.

When you get tired of playing you decide to press on the matter. “What were you thinking about?” You start, voice low as if to not scare him off. “That made you lose sleep.”

He must be feeling calm because he lets the words fall out. “Taeil suggested that we make a song with pop influence.” He says and you grimace. “To reach a wider audience.”

“That’s fucking stupid.” Is all you say because it’s what it is. Pop had nothing to do with your style, never had and never would. Not that you hated it, but it wasn’t what you were passionate about.

Yuta chuckles lightly. “That’s what I told him.”

“That’s good.” You say and a minute of silence follows, someone outside drives away, a wheels on concrete sound filling the room. There’s something unspoken in the air, a promise you had made to each other when this tour started.

Music was the thing the two of you loved the most, and nothing, not even money, would change how you did it. The deal was to always stay loyal to that thought.

“We got each other’s back, right?” He asks sudden, but it’s a rhetorical question because he’s soon adding. “That’s all we got in this world, our music and ourselves.”

You look down at him but his eyes stay glued to the wall. A lump forms in your throat at the heaviness of his words and you have to swallow around it to reply. “It’s always gonna be us.” You say in a broken but sure voice. “No matter what.”

“Fuck yeah.” He says quietly and you both laugh.

❀

One thing that you learned with your recently discovered success was that parties became boring quite fast. Loud music and people getting way more drunk or high than they should near a pool was a dangerous mistake. Still, you always followed down the same road.

Your bandmates liked them, a way to interact more with people and an opportunity to get high for free. Music came from experiences, it’s what Johnny always said and you agreed partly because there was indeed something inspiring about being among people that were having fun, that felt carefree.

You take a sip from your beer with that though on your head, leaning against a wall as you watch last mentioned man swing his hips in a messy way in the middle of the living room as two girls laugh and dance with him. You can’t help but laugh alongside with them, even if you’re standing on the opposite side of the room.

It’s a small house, from someone you never met before, but being in a small city always meant crashing a house party with too many college kids that usually screamed when they recognized mostly Doyoung from the posters spread across town.

The slightly buzz of alcohol made you feel like you were floating, head just slightly spinning and you lean against a wall to keep yourself steady. There’s not much going on inside your brain, just the numbness of being just a bit drunk and you enjoyed it, made you feel content.

You clean your wet palm from the beer’s perspiration on your jeans, eyes roaming around the room until you find him. Yuta stands on a wall opposite from the one you are, the bandana on his head keeping the hair out of his face and making you see his features more clearly. He looks good tonight, as he does always, but the post concert glow really did wonders to him and the way his exposed tattooed arms flexed a little when he moved made your head spin again.

It had become a habit, one that you wanted to desperately get rid off. Watching Yuta, almost as if you were analyzing every little detail about him, left you with a weird feeling in your stomach. There he was, the person you felt the closest to in the entire world, the person whom you already knew everything about, but when it was like this, with you staring without him knowing, you felt like he was still a mysterious person. Someone you would be lucky to dive deep into.

He raises his eyebrows and smirks at something the girl besides him whispers in his ear, probably something raunchy by the way he tries to bring her closer. You look away.

Taeyong finds you like that, beer going warm in your hand and your eyes dazed staring at nothing as you overthink every single thing. He smiles when he sees you, probably a little tipsy himself as he leans against the wall so close to you that your hips touch. “What are you doing here alone?” He asks, bumping against your side playfully and it gets a smile from you.

After Yuta, Taeyong was the closest to you in the band, for the simple fact that he cared. Not that the others didn’t, but Taeyong always made sure everyone was doing ok and that had made you feel safe, helped shape the friendship you have today of sharing your secrets and supporting each other.

“Just don't feel like socializing.” Is your reply, because it’s true. People at these parties were usually terrible at small talk or so pretentious they made you feel stupid for even thinking.

He hums, following your vision line as it goes back to Yuta again. His arm is now wrapped around the girl so you look away immediately.

You don’t see the way Taeyong looks at you emphatically. “Have you ever thought about telling him?” It’s obvious what the question is about because as much as you’d like to think you’re good at hiding it, you wouldn’t be good enough to hide it from him.

Still, you try to lie. “What? There's nothing to tell.” The awkward laugh and roll of your eyes are a dead giveaway, too forced to even come close to being genuine.

He laughs in disbelief of your attempts. “Yeah, alright. Just remember you’ll never know the things you don’t try.”

It makes you scoff. How poetic, probably a great thing to say to a drunk girl who’s already having risky thoughts. “Wow, we should definitely write a song about that.” You joke, trying to shift the subject to something else.

“Ha-ha.” He fake laughs but there’s still amusement on his face. “I’m being serious.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” How serious could he be after too many beers, you think to yourself. Maybe you were a fan of being in denial, so you shrug and just do your best to think about something else.

Something pops up on your head, a bad idea most definitely, so you act on lazy impulse. Walking just far enough to throw the still almost full beer bottle and then you come back to stand in front of Taeyong. You must have really be going crazy.

He rolls his eyes even before you talk or put your hands on his shoulders, but still moves to hold your hips. “Yongie…” It’s a sickeningly cute voice, one you use as a joke when you want something. It makes him crack a smile, already knowing what is coming. “I think we should kiss.”

He chuckles, squeezing your hips and smiling. “I’ll have to agree just because you look cute tonight.” You laugh right back at him.

And then you’re kissing, like you had done before in the past for reasons that were the same as the one right now. Boredom, loneliness, horniness or just because. It was a friendly kiss, shared between two people that knew it would never go further than that. And it was good, his tongue sliding against yours in slow motions that are just the tiniest bit sensual because that’s just how Taeyong liked to kiss. It was so good that you forget for a second about other things, such as Yuta.

Yuta who happens to be watching, or better yet glaring, from the other side of the room as you kiss your friend. Yuta who tells the girl he’s with that he’s not in the mood anymore and leaves the party.

In some cases, ignorance truly is bliss.

❀

The dressing room was always a mess before a show, no matter how sketchy, dirty or small it was. Trust a group of musicians that had no basic decency to behave like this to calm their nerves before performing.

Johnny is pressing random notes on the keyboard, making sounds that would be unpleasant to anyone else, but you and Taeyong dance to it in weird moves that get you laughing as Doyoung sings extremely off key. The only one not taking part in your shenanigans is Yuta, who stays on the old couch writing on his notebook, and even if you wanted to call him over, you know better than to bother him.

You don’t even notice when Taeil walks into the room, holding what looks like a folder in his hand and barely helping the excited grin that wants to settle on his face. “Hey!” He tries once to get everyone to pay attention but without success. “HEY!”

His shout has all of you turning to look at him, Johnny’s fingers stopping on the keyboard and the sounds that filled the room before give way to Taeil’s rushed voice.

“I have some really good fucking news.” He announces, shaking the papers around in the air as if any of you could ever guess what’s in those papers.

“What is it?”

“Spit it out, cutie.” Comes Johnny voice and you all laugh. Making Taeil flustrated is easy but he pays it no mind right now, whatever it is he wants to say clearly more important than stupid jokes.

“A Neo Records scout was at the concert last night.” He says with edge on his voice earning confused and shocked reactions from all of you

“What the fuck?” Doyoung groans, dropping his face on his hands. “How did we not know that?”

“How could we even know? These people are sneaky as hell.”

After that the room just becomes a mess of you all talking over each other, putting yourselves down for not having performed better, for not playing better songs.

Taeil has enough of it very fast, yelling over all of you to regain your attention. “None of that matters, because he liked the performance. And,” He breaths out, a pause that has you walking forward to urge him on, “he wants to sign you guys.”

A shriek leaves your lips as someone mutters a curse. It’s unbelievable, not even Taeyong’s hand gripping your arm in excitement manages to spur you out of your trance. “Oh my god. Do they really?” He exclaims and you feel tears forming at your eyes.

“Yes. He said you guys have a lot of potential and after the tour is over they’re going to fly you all out to L.A to record an EP.” Taeil explains in calmness but just enough giddiness to his voice.

There’s no words to describe how much this means. No one in their right mind would ever sign a contract with a band that had a girl playing guitar in it. Women in rock and roll were there to be pretty, you were very much aware of how much hate The Runaways were getting constantly, how much sexist shit you yourself had to hear.

But this, this right here was an opportunity to take your dream to the next level, do something that actually stood a chance of getting recognized.

Your eyes look for Yuta’s, to share the excitement of getting this far but when they meet he holds your gaze in an expression you can't quite pinpoint. His voice raises suddenly, making everyone in the room look at him. “What’s the catch?” He uncrosses his legs, widening them as he looks at Taeil with his pierced eyebrow raised.

“What do you mean?”

He chuckles. “I mean, a big record like them wanting to sign with us, there must be something they want out of this.” You furrow your eyebrows because as much sense he makes, it sounds like he’s looking for conflict.

Taeil gapes, as if looking for the right words and you realize there is in fact a catch. “I — Well, they just… They just think it would be nice to have some songs that are more public friendly, but it can be discuss-“

Yuta’s laugh cuts Taeil short. He’s an intimidating person, even more when he looks pissed off and right now as he gets up from the couch you feel like the air is tense enough to cut. “We’re not making shitty manufactured pop songs, man.”

Usually a comment like that would be taken as a joke between all of you, but he says it in a sharp voice and you know it’s because he has had this same conversation with your manager not that many days ago. But still, you feel like there’s something more, even if Yuta wasn't keen on letting his feelings show, you knew something was going on with how distant he had become the last days.

“Come on,Yuta.” The voice comes from Taeyong, moving away from your side to face Yuta properly. There’s not an ounce of bitterness in his voice, only sympathy because you all share the same passions. “This is a crazy opportunity, we can’t let it pass.”

And then you’re sure there’s something going on that goes way over this, because Yuta is pushing Taeyong and mutetting words that you wish he doesn’t mean.”What do you even fucking know? Y’all will just take any validation you can get like little bitches.” It’s simple but it has venom to it. Venom that makes Taeyong’s face contort because he despises confrontation and at that you come forward, pushing Yuta the same way he did.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You sound way too emotional and it makes you hate yourself. Yuta just looks at you like he’s annoyed, his shoulders knocking against yours as he walks out of the room.

You look down, shaking your head in disbelief and feeling tired from the quick rise and fall of emotions. Feeling someone hover over you, you look up to find Johnny’s eyes staring down with what looks like sorrow. “Don’t stress over it, he’ll come around to it eventually.”

And you really hope that’s true.

❀

After that, things go back to the same routine of being in a bus for hours, performing in a sketchy bar, getting shitfaced drunk and then doing it all over again. The only difference is that now there’s a tension in the air that comes from both Yuta’s outburst and the prospect of all of this becoming something bigger than it is.

The higher executives at Neo Records or whoever made the decision to sign the band, had given you until your last performance to make a decision. There’s only three shows left until that, but that’s the last thing on your mind as your play a riff that makes the bigger than normal crowd that gathered today scream.

There’s blinding lights on the stage that make you feel like you’re dreaming, the sound of Doyoung half singing half screaming just slightly muted. You turn to where Yuta is, giving his all because he would never do anything but that and when the drumstick hits a plate in a sharp noise he looks right back at you.

Something had changed, you’re not dumb to not know that. But what it was exactly seemed to escape you, because Yuta was just too good at keeping things to himself, too mysterious for your sake. So he keeps giving you this look, a look that wants to be more than that but it’s not that easy to decypher. A look that you ignore to continue playing.

A look that you ignore when you all come out of the stage, sweaty and with adrenaline filling your hearts. That you ignore when everyone gathers around the hotel pool to have a beer and joke around, Johnny jumping on it and splashing everyone on the way.

A look that you can’t ignore any longer as you stand outside of Yuta’s room after everyone has retreated for the night, knocking softly until he opens the door.

This is still the same, he makes way for you to get inside and the scent of him that fills the room make your mind spin. He’s shirtless, probably ready to get to bed, and you can see all of his tattoos and the piercing on his navel on display.

Clearing your throat, you watch as he takes a seat on the bed, legs spread open and looking at you like he’s waiting for you to talk. “Something is going on.” Is what you decided on, not too keen on beating around the bush.

“A lot of things are going on.” He points out and you have to roll your eyes.

“You know what I mean.”

“Maybe I don’t, so why don’t you make it clear for me?” He’s being defensive, you expected this, but it still makes your blood boil.

“See? There’s no reason for you to give me attitude right now but here we are, so there’s clearly something going on.” You cross your arms on your chest, still standing in the middle of the room like a fool as he chuckles.

“You keep saying that but I think you know very well what’s going on.” He sounds annoyed now, staring directly at you. “You just expect me to accept this shit? For money or whatever it is that you all are looking for?”

His words sound empty so you squint your eyes at him in defiance. “You’re being an asshole, this is not your dream exclusively. You’re not our fucking frontman.”

That makes him scoff. “Please, there wouldn’t be a fucking band to be signed if it weren’t for me.”

Now you really get mad, laughing in disbelief. “Are you kidding me right now? We started this shit together.” You want to punch him in the face, get the annoyed look right out of his face and remind him.

He looks down, shaking his head in what you think is disbelief. “So why does it feel like you’re not by my side?” His choice of words make your eyebrows furrow. When had you not been loyal to him? You have been by his side since you were 7, nothing had changed. “Seems to me that you’re always taking your little boyfriend’s side now.”

“What?” There’s nothing but confusion in your features as you let your arms fall to your sides. “What boyfriend? Are you fucking out of your-“

He interrupts you with a groan.“Come on, I saw the two of you kissing.”

You blink slowly and then when you realize what he’s talking about, you’re completely outraged. “Taeyong? I’m not dating Taeyong.” Your voice is going higher by the minute and he seems to be getting just as heated.

“Why were you kissing him then?” He asks, getting up from the bed and moving closer to you.

You can’t help the incredulous high laughter that leaves your lips. “Because I wanted to. Is this why you have been acting like this? Why does it even matter to you?”

His tongue curls on the roof of his mouth, looking at you with angry eyes. “Because it does.”

You squint your eyes again, not believing this is really going on right now. Yuta, who hooked up with a different girl every night, patronizing you for kissing someone. It makes something boil inside of you that you find incredibly awful. “Why does it matter?” You demand, pushing him when he doesn’t answer. “Why?”

His face contorts in something you think is guilty, eyes roaming around your own and lips parting. For a second you think he’s going to say something, then you think he’s going to do something else. But none of that happens.

You push him again, no strength to it but he still falls down on the bed in defeat. A lump forms in your throat as he avoids your eyes.

You leave the room before he can see the tears.

❀

The day it happened is still fresh in your memory.

Your bedroom is the classic teenager one, filled with posters of all kind of things, from movies to bands and just quotes that inspired something within. But the one you like the most, of Joan Jett being a complete badass, stares right back at you from where you’re staring at the ceiling. You still remember dreaming about becoming like her one day.

There’s a song playing, something from the Rolling Stones that Yuta had wanted to show you and had practically stormed inside of your house with a vinyl on his hands to do so.

Said man looks at you from your bedroom floor, his now black hair long enough to tie into a small ponytail. There’s a piercing on various parts of his body and that’s enough reason for every girl in the city to want a piece of him, his aura just helped the whole thing. You remember that at 16 you thought it was amazing too. How he just carried himself with so much confidence, how he was always unapologetic. Yuta was someone you looked up to.

“We could do it, you know?” He says out of nowhere, getting you to finally stare back at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Do what?”

“Start a band.”

You laugh because he was like that. Talked about things that he wanted to do with ease, not matter how crazy or unordinary they were. “Sure.” Is what you reply with, giving him a smile.

“I’m being serious.” He urges on. “We can do it, me and you. Just make the music we want to and have fun.”

You think about it for a second but there’s not really a reason to. You would do anything with Yuta. “Ok.” That makes him smile. “Yeah, ok. Let’s start a band.”

Back to the present, your tears stain the stark white fabric of the pillow case. You wonder in the back of your head if 16 year old you would be happy right now and that only makes you cry harder.

❀

Pride, isn’t that a stupid thing to have over trivial matters?

You don’t speak to Yuta at all for the following weeks, confusion and anger still filling your mind and tainting your every thought. And he does the same.

It’s comfortable not having to confront him and hear the harsh words you are sure he has stored, but it also makes your skin itch thinking that this stupid fight is going on for too long.

There’s only one show left and then it’s back to reality for a couple of days. The thought of having to go back home and leaving things unsettled with him makes you sick, and it was obvious if someone were to say something it was going to have to be you. Yuta’s pride was too big, even when it didn’t have to be.

So you go after him, because someone had to. Try to get him alone but it’s like there’s always someone around, or he’s too busy composing and it all hurts. It hurts but not enough to make you give up because you know this is merely a pointless fight.

“Where’s Yuta?” You ask Doyoung, who’s sitting by the hotel pool on one of those cheap looking chairs and with a cigarette lit between his lips. The hotel this time was not as nice as the others, the pool looks unkempt like no one had even touched it in at least a month.

Doyoung blows out smoke, looking at you with a tired face that you probably share from all the performances that are just now weighing down on your shoulders. “I think he went out to some party with Johnny.” He says absently and you huff in defeat, slumping down on the chair next to him.

“Asshole.” You mumble out, shutting your eyes for a moment and then it’s silent. The only noises filling your ears are from the ice machine and from the tall lamps.

Then there’s some rustling going around before Doyoung speaks. “Listen, I know that’s not any of my business, and believe me I would much rather stay out of it.” It’s what he starts with and you almost already know what he’s going to say. “But you two need to figure your shit out.”

Trust your lead singer to just lay down the obvious to you because sometimes that's all you need to hear. You scoff. “That’s what I wanted to do.” In the back of your mind you try not to think about what figuring your shit out would entail.

“He can be a dickhead sometimes, but he’s with us.” He says as if that wasn't something you knew already. “And he said he’ll sign the deal, you know? Had a whole theatrical chat with Taeil and all.”

That’s new information, that makes you squeeze your eyes shut in both excitement and frustration at the same time, because if that was already dealt with then the reason why he was acting like this with you was for something else like you had imagined.

You think of something to say, settling on what you felt deep down the moment you got inside that tour bus. “I… I just don’t want things to change.”

That makes Doyong laugh, his voice hoarse when he says. “They already have, love. You just gotta move forward with it.”

❀

You barely remember the last show, exhaustion finally catching up with your body. You remember the trashy alternative bar, remember some people singing along which was absolutely surreal and you remember the groupies crying about how they would miss the band while you took a little break. Anything other than that is a blur and forgotten as you sleep through the entirety of the trip back home, not bothering with the bumps in the roads or how awful the tour bus smelled after weeks.

You don’t notice until later that Yuta hadn’t even gotten on the bus with everyone else. Instead, as Johnny had said, he went on a small trip and would be back in town by the end of the week. You try not to worry about it too much.

Being back home feels weird and you start thinking about what Doyoung had said that day near the pool. Everything has changed, yes, and now your bedroom feels too small. The band posters don’t inspire you anymore as much as they ignite a fire inside that’s too big to extinguish. Your mother’s hug feels comforting but it doesn’t hold you back.

You were still scared, of course, but being back home made you realize that you craved it too much to let fear hold you back. Because how does one go back to reality like when they had a taste of their dreams? How do they live without wanting a bigger taste, to eat it whole?

The only thought in your head as you lay leisurely in your bed for the next days is that you can’t wait to make more music with your friends.

With Yuta. (Thinking of him makes you want to cry.)

The phone rings on saturday, just as your mother is leaving for her job at a diner and she yells for you to pick it up quickly. You get up from the bed with a groan, leisurely walking to the phone and greeting whoever is in the other side of the line with a simple “Hello.” It was probably one of your mother’s friends wanting to gossip or someone trying to sell you items for gymnastics at home.

It takes a while for anything to be said but when it does, the voice even if static is a familiar one. “Hey, it’s me.” Yuta says and the effect it has on the butterflies on your stomach is maddening. It had been too long in your opinion, relief immediately settling in your mind.

“I know.” You breath out and he chuckles. “Thought you were out there on a self discovering trip.”

The comment makes him snort, a smile of your own making its way into your lips as you twirl the phone line with a finger.

“I just got back.” He clarifies and then there’s pause that lasts for seconds before he’s speaking again. “Listen, I — Fuck, I don’t wanna do this over the phone. Can I come over?”

Your lips feel dry. “Oh. Yes. Yes, of course you can.” And then he’s hanging up after a promise of not taking too long.

The anxiety that bubbles in your stomach is unpleasant but the thought of finally seeing him overshadows it. Because see, there’s a few ways this could go and in the back of your head you’re sure, one hundred percent sure, that your friendship with him would never be the same. Because again, how does one go back to normal when everything had changed?

Your breath hitches when there’s a knock on the door, your heart race going worryingly up and when you finally open it, Yuta stands there with a grin on his lips and looking like he always did, with an old band t-shirt tucked inside his bell bottom jeans. There’s just one thing. “You got a haircut.” Is the first thing you say, dumbly.

“Yeah.” He says, running a hand through his now blonde, almost white, hair that has the sides shaved. It’s very bold looking but it suits him.

There’s no chit chatting then, he just steps inside and hugs you like you haven’t seen each other in years. You let yourself drown in it, shoulders slumping as you arms circle his back and he hums pleased. “I miss you.” He mumbles against your hair before breaking the hug and looking at you with eyes that say a lot more than his words. “I’m a fucking asshole, right? I’m sorry.”

You shrug. “Yeah, you are.”

That makes him laugh. A laugh that’s comfortable and familiar as the way he walks inside your house, asking for you mother and pouting when he finds out she’s not there. Familiar as the way he walks into your teen bedroom and looks like he fits there just as much as you do when he plops down on your bed. There’s a feeling of nostalgia to it that he must feel too by the way his eyes roam to the poster covered walls.

You sit down on the bed next to him when he pats the empty spot, his hand disappearing inside his pocket and then he’s getting something out of it. “Got you a gift.” He says jiggling around what you now see is a keychain.

“Wow, how considerate of you.” You tease, getting it with your hands and examining the object. “Thank you, Yuta.”

“No biggie.” He shrugs but the way he watches as you swirl it around your hand tells you that he hopes you like it.

It’s one of those ‘I love NY’ keychains, and in your mind you know very well he didn’t go that far so he must’ve bought it in a random store, the fact alone bringing a grin to your lips. But where there was supposed to be a ‘N’, there’s a very badly done scratch so that it reads ‘I love Y” instead. You can’t help the giggle that forms in your throat. “I love Yuta?”

His smile is as wide as possible. “That’s right.” He doesn’t even try to play it cool. “Make sure you put it somewhere visible so everyone can see it.”

You shake your head laughing, but you still promise “I will.”

There’s a silence that follows, one that is filled with his eyes not leaving yours. This is it, you think to yourself, because you both already know it, would be impossible if you didn’t. Still you ask with a quiet voice. “Do you know why I keep writing all these love songs?”

“Yes.” He breathes out without missing a beat. A simple reply was all you expected.

“How long did you know?”

“For a while.”

And then. “Why did it bother you? That I kissed Taeyong?” You play with the hem of your skirt, pulling at a single line of fabric that was hanging from it.

There’s a small smile forming on his lips as he raises his pierced eyebrow at you.“You really don’t know why?” You do now, you both know that. And you wish you had known sooner, but right now you want to hear what he has to say. “Because I’m selfish and a fucking coward.”

His confessions carries all the meaning you need and there’s a few things you could say. But this is about you and it’s about Yuta, your best friend and the one that had been by your side all this time. The two of you didn’t need big gestures, words that would make someone tear up or any theatricals. It was simply how it was meant to be, just the two of you.

“I’m not.” Is what you say and his lips part.

“What?” He asks just to be sure.

“I’m not a coward.”

And then you kiss him, with a press of your lips to his that could as well just be saying how much you had wanted this, how you think you would go crazy if you never got to taste him like this. Because intimacy with Yuta was something you rarely gave yourself the luxury of thinking about, too scared that you would dig a hole deeper than it already was. But now, as his hands hold your cheeks and he pushes you closer, kissing you with just a hint of desperation, you let yourself drown it it.

He does it with expertise that you can’t possibly match and in the back of your head you feel slightly shy for it. Still, there’s no time to think about that when he deepens the kiss, moving your head a little so he can do as he pleases, sucking on your bottom lip and earning a soft noise that comes from your chest.

You don’t know what’s better, the hand he moves to your neck, the one that holds your thigh, almost dipping inside your skirt or how he looks at you when he breaks the kiss a little breathless. His eyes don’t leave your face as he massages the area where his hand is and you think you could melt completely. “Wanted to do this for so long.” He breathes out and your eyes never leave his now heart shaped pink lips.

Nodding in agreement, you mutter teasingly. “Took you long enough.”

He chuckles, pressing another quick peck. “Then I better not waste any more time.”

He kisses you first this time and it’s with purpose, his tongue licking at your lips until you finally give him what he wants. He draws every little noise you make with the way his tongue slides against yours and how he nips at your lips, kissing you deeper with every second he gets.

You feel overwhelmed, because for one this is new and something you never thought you would be doing, in your teen bedroom of all places. The fact that Yuta starts kissing down your neck only helps, his tongue tickling your sensitive skin before he closes his lips around it, sucking enough that it could leave a bruise. For everyone to see, you think, as he presses a small kiss to it afterwards and then moves to the next spot.

He treats you with as much delicacy as his desperation allow him, manhandling you so that you’re laying more comfortably in your bed and he can hover over you as he kisses you again.

You hate feeling small, but like this, with Yuta on top of you, it makes arousal bubble in your body. And when his hand moves to dip inside of your skirt, gripping at your thigh you let that arousal be known in the form of a surprised moan let out against his lips.

He smirks at you, clearly pleased with himself as your glossy eyes stare up at him. “You’re so cute, baby.” You feel your cheeks warming up and you hate, as much as he seems to love it, that you’re acting like this in front of your best friend. “I could just eat you up.”

His words are followed by your lips forming a small ‘o’ and then by him kissing you again, this time not waiting to let his tongue move against yours in messy motions that make you crave more of anything he has to give you.

You don’t notice at first that he hands start to move again, but when he plays with the hem of your cotton panties you know that he’s not going to settle for that. It’s embarrassing how quickly you react when he presses his fingers to your covered clit, applying pressure to it and then giving a tentative roll. You cry as quietly as you manage and he watches as your eyes squeeze when he moves his fingers again.

You always had wondered how someone else's fingers would feel compared to your own and when Yuta finally, finally, dips his inside your panties, you are sure no fantasies could compare. He drags two of his fingers down to your entrance, feeling the embarrassing wetness that had gathered and bringing it up to your clit so the circling of his fingers is more pleasant.

He continues to watch you, eyes glued to your face as you let out all kind of noises and move your body as the hint of an orgasm makes your entire body tingle. You feel so close already that you wonder if he can tell.

His movements are slow, almost teasing, and when he kisses you again his tongue moves in the exact speed as his fingers, in a way that makes you clench around nothing. As if sensing that he shifts his hand, your body almost arching from the bed when he dips one long finger inside of you. If he didn’t know about the extents of your inexperience, he knows now with how your walls hug tightly just one of his fingers. The groan he lets out at the feeling is one of the prettiest sounds you had ever heard.

He moves his finger slowly, as if testing the waters and when he curls it just right you gasp at the new feeling. “There?” He asks with a grin and you just nod dumbly, biting on your lips enough to bruise.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you wonder if the other girls he had, had came this fast, because when he combines the thrusting of his curled finger to his thumb circling your clit, you feel enough to explode. Doesn’t help that he says his next proposition.

“Let me have a taste, hmm?” His words are muffled from where his lips are pressed on your neck and there’s a very clear mix of feelings that happen inside of your head. You cry out, clearly affected by the proposition and the mere thought of his wet lips against your warmth makes you clench around his fingers. He feels it, of course he does, because he lets out a small moan and grinds down on you a little, his hardness very much there. “Yeah?” He sounds breathless.

“I—I’m.” You gasp when he moves his fingers faster as if to entice you. But this is the extent of your inexperience, the mere thought of him eating you out makes you so overwhelmed that you can’t give in just yet. “I don’t… I-I’m not ready.”

Your voice sounds small but he doesn’t even blink at your denial, instead he kisses you deeply in reassurement. “It’s ok, sweet girl.” He presses down on your clit, giving you exactly the friction you need. “I’ll eat your pretty pussy another day.”

And then his fingers are moving faster, enough that it takes you no time to come with a loud moan that sounds a lot like his name and your hands gripping tightly at the bed sheets. You shake, body trembling as you try to ground yourself but the orgasm is too shattering.

When he removes his fingers from inside you, he licks then clean before moving your shirt upwards so your stomach is exposed. He moves to kneels between your open legs and you’re left confused until he starts unzipping his pants, asking a soft. “Okay?” To which you nod excitedly.

He doesn't ask you to do anything, instead he dips a hand inside his underwear, barely pushing the rest of his pants down as he pulls his cock free. It’s a sight that leaves you breathless, the way he thumbs at the head and smears pre cum around and when that’s not enough, his fingers move inside the mess of your panties, gathering your arousal and bringing it to his hardness in what is the most erotic view you had ever seen.

The first stroke is slow and he bites his lips, looking at you with a fucked out expression. “See what you do to me?” He asks in a groan and you nod in your little haze, eyes not knowing where to look at.

His strokes get quickly faster, with swirls of his wrist and it doesn’t take long for him to let out a strangled moan as he comes with thick spurts in your stomach. You watch it all in awe, the way he twitches in his palm and his eyes fight to stay open. It’s like suddenly you know why there are so many songs about sex.

Afterwards when you’re cleaned and laying on the bed lazily, Yuta plays an unknown melody on your old acoustic guitar with a little inexpertise, humming what you think is the start of a song still in the works.

The sun is about to set and you feel a weird sensation of contentment, a spark blossoming in your chest. You had kissed your best friend, done things with him that reached a level of intimacy you were still learning to navigate, but everything still felt the same.

“Doyoung told me you’re going to sign the contract.” You say, breaking the comfortable silence.

His eyes don’t leave the guitar strings. “Of course, can’t leave my own band.” He deadpans jokingly and you scoff, nudging him with your feet.

“What if they make us do songs we don’t want to?

“I’m sure you’ll scare them off with your attitude.” He laughs when you gasp, lurching at him but stopping because you couldn’t attack him properly with the guitar on his lap.

Noticing that, he smiles, one eyebrow raising at you as he lets the guitar down and opens his arms almost in a challenge for you to hit him. Which you do, playfully before you’re letting yourself fall putty into his chest. “I don’t have an attitude.” You whine.

He huffs. “Yes you do. But it’s very charming.”

Rolling your eyes you hug him closer, basking in the feeling of having him here with you and the comforting knowledge that he feels the same way you do. “Do you think we’ll be able to handle it? Fame and whatever else comes with it?”

“We were born for it, baby.” He says with a cocky grin, always overwhelmingly confident. “I told you, you and me, we can do anything we want together.”

And that’s all you need to hear.

❀

“Back to earth, pretty girl.” Yuta’s voice snaps you out of another daydream, some ideas for a new album and whatever else filed your mind these days. He sounds slightly demanding but you don’t mind at all.

“Sorry.” You mumble and he gives you a grin that you can’t help but match.

There’s the start of a melody playing in the big studio that was rented for the new album. Johnny says something and you adjust the guitar strap, feeling the familiar and comfortable weight of it as your fingers find the strings with ease.

You glance at Yuta another time and he’s still looking at you, mouthing something you can’t quite understand but by the silly smile on his face you know exactly what it is. “Love you too.” You mouth right back at him, shaking your head at his silliness.

And then the song starts.

❀❀❀❀❀

tag list: @jupitersmark @euphoricdreamies @peachybun-01

#yuta smut #yuta scenarios #nct smut #nct scenarios #i reread this last night and realized its not at all how i wanted it to be #it could be so much better :(#but i hope you guys still enjoy it

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raleighliving · 4 years

Text

Live! From Raleigh, NC

I like music. I’m pretty sure that’s an uncontroversial opinion right? People these days still like to boogey and pop and breakdance as they do things or focus on homework right? It’s funny though, I’m looking through what Google says are some of the top “Things to Do” in Raleigh and amongst the parks and museums, I’m noticing a distinct lack of music venues.

So, as community service in penance for my existence; here’s a list in no particular order of spots where you can go to enjoy live music. Places where you can feel the bass push through you as you crowd together with a bunch of sweaty strangers to enjoy some good sounds and possibly some good drinks.

1 -- The Lincoln Theatre (126 E Carrabus St. Raleigh, NC)

I had to put this one first because it’s one of the most talked about venues by far amongst my peer group. Probably the most well-known venue in Raleigh, I don’t need to go into much detail but I will anyway because more out-of-towners need to know this place exists too.

Located in Downtown Raleigh, the Lincoln Theatre is a small-ish venue that hosts a variety of events at a variety of prices. Seminars, rock n roll shows, country music, and more have all been hosted here on the southern end of downtown.

Friendly owners, a variety of events, and on top of all this, tickets are fairly decently priced. Looking at the current list of events, ticket prices can range between 12 and 25 dollars; making it great for those of us on a permanent budget.

2 -- Wild Wing Cafe (7900 Brier Creek Pkwy)

I like food, as much as I like music. Maybe even, I like food MORE than I like music, writing, playing video games, or petting dogs. Hard to relate to, I know, but this means places that combine food with any of these other things quickly become one of my favorite spots.

Of course, there are plenty of places I could put on this list that combine live music with dining; but Wild Wing Cafe has been and will probably remain my favorite for the foreseeable future. A predominantly East coast chain that focuses on wings and other bar food, the main draw, of course, is the excellently done wings; but it also has events like Music Bingo and Karaoke.

Usually starting around 10PM on weekends, bands like 8Track Minds and other cover bands are the most popular fare, blasting classic rock covers loud enough to shake the seats no matter where you’re sitting. There’s no cover charge except for the cost of your meal and drinks, so it’s another cheap and easy way to hear some halfway decent performances.

3 -- Imurj (300 S McDowell St)

So you’d expect a club to appear sooner on this list, right? They’re literally venues designed to bring in people for drinks, social interaction, and music. On top of that, why one that’s described as “The Artists Cafe” and “A collaborative space for artists and musicians” over any of the other art and music scenes?

Well, firstly, they recently added a food menu with items like ‘Thors Hammer’ and ‘Yes, Please, Hot Ham & Cheese’; which earns points for making me giggle (yes, I know. I’m such a mature adult). Secondly, this is the only bar I’m aware of in Raleigh that has an Emo Karaoke Night.

Yes, you read that right; Emo Karaoke Night. At least once a month Imurj hosts a karaoke event amongst it’s open mics and comedy shows, where patrons can “Get sad, sing bad” in an all-ages event that lets you experience 2006 all over again as people belt out the hits by bands like My Chemical Romance, Fallout Boy, and more. Of course, there are other musically based events hosted here; but this is far and away the best one.

4 -- The Pour House (224 S Blount St.)

No list of musical venues and events would be complete without this one. Billed as a music hall first despite the punny naming conventions; The Pour House is a crown gem of music located next to Moore Square.

Like Lincoln Theatre, it’s a small-ish venue located in downtown Raleigh that hosts a variety of musical genres. Country, Jazz, Electronica and more, but the venue in question has a slight lean towards rock and punk rock. Yes, you can see bands like “DJs Midnite Cowboy & Uno Dose” perfoming but you’ll have more bands like “Olivia Jean w/ Them” and a Blink 182 tribute event.

Tickets are cheap, and the venue doubles as a record store as well. Friendly staff, great tunes, a “School of Rock” that promises to help people learn Rock n Roll with inspirations like Blue Oyster Cult, and just a long history of being an awesome place make this a must-see destination for anyone who’s into music.

There’s more places to let the beat flow through you in Raleigh, for sure. But to be honest, it’s not my field of expertise. On top of that, music in Raleigh is quite possibly one of the most sporadic things I can think of.

Amateur and sometimes professional bands will make appearances at the earlier mentioned parks and museums I dissed, as well as places that have situational music situations; like the Open Rehearsals the NC Symphony does that students can enter for free (Or you can attend if you donate $100 to the arts).

Hopefully though, some of you found this helpful/insightful/useful or some other -ful I’m forgetting. If not, at the very least entertaining and a reminder that Raleigh is full of amazing places.

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svtnscenarios · 7 years

Text

Privacy | Minghao Imagine

Pairing: The 8 (Minghao) x Reader

Genre: angsty fluff ? idk you name it (say the name)

Summary: Minghao is your closest friend and you are currently getting ready to audition to get into a dance club at college.

a/n: because perfomance team’s dancing vid for privacy was bomb, let’s dedicate this imagine to that song

- - -

“I can’t do it.” I sigh in frustration. Choreographing a dance for my audition was harder than I had expected. I thought it’d be simple since it was something I loved. However, it was more difficult today than usual.

I look in the mirror of the school’s dance studio and look at myself in disappointment. The auditions were at the end of the week and I had less than five days to come up with something. I didn’t want to depend on freestyle - despite the fact that it was easier to flow with the music, I didn’t want to risk messing up.

“Are you struggling?” The door opens and it reveals a smiling Minghao. I let out a breath in relief which only makes him smile more. “I’m here to help.”

“How’d you know I was struggling?” I rub my forehead stressfully. “I was watching you from the window and you weren’t answering your texts.” He points to his phone.

“I’m so lost, I don’t know what to do.” I sat on the floor and Minghao joined me. “It’s because you’re over thinking it Y/N. You need to go with the flow.”

I knew I should’ve came to him for help, but I didn’t want to drag him into this.

“What song are you doing?”Minghao unlocked his phone and pulled up Spotify. “Chris Brown’s Privacy.” I smiled knowing it was MInghao’s favorite song at the moment.

“I’m so proud of you for choosing a great song. It’ll be easy, come on, get up.” Minghao hit play and the song began to play on the speakers.

I focused on the beat as I did for hours, but I still couldn’t make good enough progress.

Minghao bounces before moving slowly with the rhythm. His facial expressions matched wth him movements and he looked so into it. I watched him closely and tried to mimic his moves.

“Okay, stop the music.” I obeyed and pressed pause on Minghao’s phone. “I got it. I know what you should do for the prechorus and chorus.”

He motions me over to come closer and I step closer to him. “Pop your chest out like this and then bring your feet together.”

The whole night consisted of Mignaho’s guidance and teaching to the song. I was sweaty and gross by the end of the night. “Okay, I think you go it down! Just practice it the whole week every day and you’ll nail it!” Minghao reached down for my water bottle.

“Thank you Ming, but are your sure it’s okay for me to just take your choreography for my own benefit?” I grabbed a towel and wiped my sweat. “It’s perfectly okay Y/N. You’re my best friend, of course you should take my help.”

When he said best friend out loud, it only made me realize that’s all I was to him. His ‘bestfriend’. Nothing more.

“Right! That’s what friends do.” I tried not to sound so down but he caught onto my mood. “What’s the matter?” He put my water bottle down after taking a drink.

“I’m just tired, but seriously, thank you so much.” I shot a fake smile at him. It’s not that I wasn’t grateful. It’s just that I had realized that I was only a friend in Minghao’s eyes.

“Do you want me to walk you home?”

“No, it’s okay! You did so much today. You should go home and rest.” I collected my things and grabbed my bag. “You know I always walk you home, I don’t even know why I asked.” He rolled his eyes and took my hand. I was shocked as he pulled me out of the dance room.

“Do you want to grab something to eat before I take you home? I’ll pay?” Minghao asked as soon as we stepped outside.

He was confusing the hell out of me. If I were just a friend, why does he treat me like if I were his girlfriend? I don’t want to misunderstand or get my hopes up that he might like me.

“Ming?” I stopped walking.

“Hmm?” He looked down at me.

“Do you like me?” I was surprised myself for being so blunt, but I guess curiosity was the source to confidence.

“Why are you asking all of a sudden? Of course I like you, you’re my best friend.” Minghao laughs awkwardly and ruffles my hair.

“No. I mean as in more than a friend. I’m confused and you’re raising my hopes up Ming. I like you more than as a friend and when you say those things to me it makes me feel so small. Am I just a friend to you?” I realized I had just ranted everything to him and he was left with his mouth hung open. I confessed everything to him and right now wasn’t the right time.

Minghao’s silence was my answer. “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer. I’m sorry.” After that, I walked home alone.

—

It was the day of the auditions into the club. I felt guilty to be doing Minghao’s choreography since I haven’t heard from him in 4 days. 6 hours is the longest we’ve gone without talking. This meant he was seriously not going to talk to me anymore.

“Y/N!” My name was called for my turn to audition. I walked onto the stage. From my view I could see a panel of judges and the audience was small and dark.

I counted at least ten seconds and the music began. I took a deep breath before I started. I moved swiftly with the music and I was able to release my stress through the dance.

It ended faster than i expected. I finished with little breath and sweat. I earned claps from the judges and the audience that was not visible.

“Good job, we’ll post the results outside in a couple of hours.” One of the judges spoke. I nodded before leaving the stage.

If only Minghao would have seen his hard work in action.

“You did so good.” I turned around and saw Minghao clapping as we walked closer to me.

“You saw?” I couldn’t control my giant smile forming. I was so happy to see him after such a long time. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss my girlfriend’s performance.”

His words made my heart melt. He didn’t even ask me out and he was claiming me as his.

“I’m your girlfriend?” He nodded with a big smile and I hugged tightly. “I’m so sorry for confusing me and it’s all my fault. I should’ve manned up and told you how I felt. I feel like such a jerk.” He spoke into my hair.

“It’s okay, I’m over it. I’m just glad we’re not just friends anymore.” I slightly pulled away to only see his face.

“By the way, you made the team.”

“Oh my god really?” My eyes lit up. “I heard them over talking, they really loved it.” He winked.

“Thanks to you.” I smiled before landing a small kiss on Minghao’s lips.

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northenn · 7 years

Text

So, my 100 yens about the live...

It’s at the same time one of best and worst lives I’ve ever seen. It’s really poorly constructed, at least band/other shit wise, and I’ve got this feeling since the first time I’ve watched it, that the JE has decided to split purposely the concert into two distinct halves: the first DVD, created with the japanese fans in mind, full of choreo shit, dumb dances and shitty songs, and the second one, a solid rock musically speaking but at the same shortest (there’re MCs in it, then the credits, then the encore, then the goodbyes, then Hina and his 56 daisukiiii) for the rest of the fandom.

The first DVD is honestly the weakest thing I’ve ever seen. A watered down soup of their most recent singles, sang while on stage, then sang while taking a walk, then sang while convulsing as epilectic cockroaches while doing some dumb choreo. Honestly, the worst. I’ve deleted the entire Kisarazu Cat’s Eyes series in order to have some space on the computer while downloading it and now I can barely remember what the fuck they sang during the entire thing. Plus, the fact that the guys were almost robotic while performing didn’t help at all. It took almost 45 minutes to deliver the first penis joke, not even kidding, I thought they were dying or something. Pardon my italian but ‘na vaccata.

The second DVD is a bless. Honestly. Far better than the acoustic sessions from the 8-sai live (one of their top performance, at least in my opinion). Band wise, even better than motherfucking JUKE. The guys took some big riskes in order to deliver an extraordinary performance and they all paid off. For starting, they switched instruments between the members. And not some dumb shit such as Subaru playing the tambourine, but real switches. Maru playing Subaru’s guitar. Nishi playing Maru’s bass. Yoko at the xilophone. Okura switching to the jazz drums. And yes, even Subaru playing the motherfucking tambourine since during Tokyoholic he took it as point of honor and destroyed that shit as if his life depended on it. Switching the instruments lead to something unexpected: their entire sound changed. It enriched somehow. More complex, more rich, more bandish. Idols who we don’t know em. The guys were confident, to the point that for two times, instead of doing the usual intro to the band, they simply decided to challenge each other to some impronptu instrument fight. The first two were Ohkura and Yasu, the day before the last performance (and sadly I don’t think this is going to be on DVD, not as far as I’ve seen at least), then Yasu challenged Maru during the last live. And Maru delivered. Confident as I’ve never seen him before, secure when it came to the slapping, composed, precise. If you’re actually a fan of the infamous bassporn, this is the live for you.

They also decided to have some acoustic sessions, and when I say acoustic session what I’m really saying is that they took some watered shit such as ItoU and turned it into a little work of art. For the first time I get to hear Itta played almost as a folk song. They managed to turn Rolling to 360° and gave some harmonica bits to it. And then, again, their sound changed so much since the last live that I hardly recognized them.

I feel like talking about Yoko’s trumpet at this point is kinda like beating the dead horse and trying to get some milk from a bull, we knew he plays it, we knew he improves. Blah blah blah. But he also managed to keep up with Subaru’s harmonica, perfect sync almost, and I think it’s something we should take into consideration. Yoko had no troubles keeping up with Subaru’s pace. If someone had told me this sentence a couple of years before I probably would’ve split on his face. The chance of having now a bit made by sax, trumpet and harmonica doesn’t seem too far away.

Last, the band session per se. One of their best perfomance, no shit, no questions. The guys were wild (no wonder they feel like they’re ready for a rock festival, they motherfucking are). The guitarists surprised me the most. Yasu has changed once again the way he plays, more sharp (as a friend of mine pointed out) to the point it seems he almost likes to make the guitar suffer. The rifs are wider, longer and Nishi has improved so much that for some bits I had trouble to separate the leading guitar from the second. They were loud, confident. Even Hina, the so ever static Hina has improved so much that has turned himself and the pianola into the fulcrum of a couple of songs, mostly for the recorded session tho. What kinda concerned me were the drums, during Zou specially. I have no idea if Takahashi has Hulk in the band or something, but the drumming for Zou is a nightmare. It’s tight and requires at the same time strenght (something that Ohkura has in abundance, to the point he has resorted to play some empty sticks in order to tame the blows even by a bit) and speed, something that he honestly lacks. Ohkura managed to deliver a pretty decent Zou but by barely surviving. It’s not really this bad, since even the drummer from the Takoyaki band has some problems with the song (you can barely hear his drumming most of the times) but Ohkura has to really work on it if he wants to play it as easily as he played Tokyoholic or even Noroshi. Knowing the dipshit, he’s probably working on it already. He had no problem keeping up with the speed of Subaru’s harmonica instead, which is a mistery itself since I never thought these two instruments could work so well together, but apparently a song with just the two of them is something Eito can give you and will give you even tho you never asked.

So, in conclusion, I’ll be brief just in case you don’t want to read the entire shit.

1st DVD BAD 2nd DVD GOOD Nishi SUCKS AS ALWAYS AT EVERYTHING HE DOES

#no one gives a shit #concert: TAKOYAKI #KJ8

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doortjeanais · 7 years

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SUGAR, WE'RE GOING DOWN :p

“Oppa, i like someone.”

Yoongi almost choked on his chips as Yoonji, his favorite twin sister, plopped beside him. It’s hard enough to keep Park Jimin and Jung Hoseok from following her around like sick fools and now she’s telling him she’s eyeing someone.

Yoonji, his little petal, is now a woman.

“No.” Yoongi said, curt and short. A warning Yoonji knows is reserved for things Yoongi labels as “stupid”.

She flipped out her phone, and showed Yoongi a video on Instagram. A young boy, not more than 18, dancing to Trey Songz’s Slow Motion in his sweatpants. Just his sweatpants. Yoongi looked at the username and bursted out laughing.

“Him? Good luck with that. Hah! Tell me when he talks to you.” With that, Yoongi took his things and walked out to his next class.

“Oppa, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Yoongi turned around and smirked at his dumbfounded sister.

“Perfoming Arts Building. Studio 4. He’s there, I am fucking sure he is. If you get to talk to him, let me know and I will personally wed you. Hahahaha good luck, sunshine!”

Just then, Jimin and Hoseok are racing against each other towards Yoonji’s direction, both carrying a bouquet.

Yoonji hid under the table and looked up the directions to Performing Arts Building, Studio 4, determined to make Yoongi embarass himself for thinking she can’t have Jeon Jungkook.

***

“Like I said, Jungkook is busy.”

Taehyung is looking down at a feisty girl who is tapping her foot while looking up at him, her arms folded against her chest.

“What do you mean he’s busy? HE’S JUST SITTING THERE ON THE FLOOR.”

He can feel a migraine kicking in. Jungkook has had a slew of fangirls and this one takes the cake. She wants to talk to Jungkook but since he has, under oath with Overwatch on the line, sworn to keep the door closed from all distractions especially girls, Taehyung has been arguing with her for the past 15 mins.

“Jungkook needs time to meditate before practice. That means more time alone and no time for other people, especially whiny, pushy, and tiny (He put his inder finger atop her head. Yoonji is furious.) little fangirls. Now go away, Jungkook hates noise.”

She stomped her foot. “You insufferable oaf! How dare you keep Jeon Jungkook to yourself! Who are you and who made you king to tell me what I can and cannot do?”

“Kim Taehyung, 20 years old. Theatre Major. Jeon Jungkook’s personal door guard and master of female affairs. Now let go of what ever grand ideas you have involving Jungkookie because I can assure you, he’s not interested. Bye midget.” With that, Taehyung slammed the door at Yoonji’s face.

Yoonji screamed in frustration. No one has done anything remotely disrespectful until now. No one ever refused Min Yoonji before. No, not today Satan.

She dialled Park Jimin’s number and soon Jimin is running towards her. He was about to glomp here when she whipped out her pepper spray gun and pointed it at Jimin’s face. Her eyes trained on the door Taehyung just slammed at her face.

“Yoonji-ah…” Jimin croaked. “What can oppa do for you, baby girl?”

“Do you know Jeon Jungkook?”

Jimin nodded. “Yup, we grew up together. Why, baby girl?” He slung his arm over her shoulders and smiled smugly. Yoonji pointed her pepper gun directly into his nostril and Jimin retracted his arms quickly.

“Call me baby one more time, I swear you will never smell anything again. Now,” she turned to him and smiled sweetly. Jimin was floored. “I want you to give him my phone number and if he texts me and asks me out, maybe, I’ll let you walk me to class tomorrow.” She traced a letter S on Jimin’s chest before poking him to drive a point.

“Ow! Yoonji, really? Jungkook? Why?”

“Do it Jimin, if you can’t, don’t even think about chasing me anywhere. I’ll put you under a restraining order.” She winked at him and strutted down the hall.

“I’ll be waiting~~”

The 2nd floor of the Performing Arts building heard a loud ‘you bastard’ and a door breaking.

People realized one thing that day: never get Park Jimin angry.

***

“Oww owww Tae, be gentle will you?!”

Taehyung dabbed Jungkook’s bruised cheek with betadine. Jimin went ape shit on Jungkook about stealing his girl and punched him squarely on the face. Jungkook was confused as to Jimin’s unusual, albeit unimaginable wrath. Mochis never get angry.

“Who the hell is she anyway? OWW!!! Tae, quit dabbing will you?! You’re getting me more bruised.”

“I dunno Kook, maybe if we bruise your face even more then maybe I don’t need to shoo girls away every fucking day or maybe we can stop that Yoonji girl from thirsting over you and maybe we can have Mochi back to being squishy okay? So c'mere, let me bruise you even more!”

“Stop it Tae! It hurts.” Taehyung drops the cotton ball and passes Jungkook the ice pack the nurse left. Damn, Jungkook can’t even let girls touch him. His bestfriend is sick in the head.

“I hate Min Yoonji. First, she took Jimin away, then she even got you hurt and now, Jimin is Monster Chim. Give me your phone Kook.”

“I can’t believe Mochi did this. Remember he said my face was precious Tae? How can he punch me over some stupid girl?! Wait, Tae, what are you doing with my phone?”

“I just sent Min Yoonji a message from Hell. Now are you done? Can we go home and play Overwatch? I’m starving.”

“You’re buying and I will be handicapped . You did not hold the door as you are supposed to. You broke your oath, loser.”

“Shit. Enjoy Satan, Min Yoonji.”

That day, the world also realized that the worst thing (depending on who you ask) that can happen is getting Kim Taehyung breathing revenge.

***

Min Yoonji is happy. Min Yoonji is excited to see her dumb brother’s face when she sends him a selca with the love of her life, Jeon Jungkook. Jimin must have done his end of the bargain as Jeon Jungkoom sent her a message.

JJK97 Hey there, sorry I was busy. Wanna meet later? CAFE SLAMMED at 730. Meet me by the bar. Don’t get bored without me. xx

MinJi Took you long enough to reply, Jeon. Be thankful I am gracing your presence later.

So there she was, in a cafe slowly getting filled with a bunch of people. A lonely chair under a spotlight sits on an off-center stage. She took a sip of her strawberry shake when a voice, deep and engaging broke her reverie.

***

“What did you message Min Yoonji?” Jungkook asked as he and Taehyung are battling it out on Overwatch in Taehyung’s brother’s room. Joonie’s TV is bigger.

“I sent her to the depths of hell.”

Jungkook slowly turned his face to Taehyung, who is turning blue in holding back his laughter. Jungkook bursted out laughing seconds later.

“No… We don’t even wish that to our enemies Tae. You’re so bad.”

“No Kook, she started it. Girl needs to meet Satan.”

The cracked up wildly, tapping their hands onto the floor.

***

No one wants to hear an off beat, too political malady disguised as a spoken word poem. The heavily packed cafe soon got emptied, with only Min Yoonji looking at the performer under the spotlight.

She did not understand his pathetic piece about rich kids and their rolls royce but it was all in English so, what was your point?

One thing is for sure: Jeon Jungkook has been long forgotten. Min Yoonji is now smitten with someone else.

***

Min Yoongi is writing a slick rap piece about his favorite twin sister’s stupid crush on one Jeon Jungkook. He smirked at the idea of rapping it to her smug face when she comes home without having talked to the elusive, woman-hater Jeon Jungkook she’s been crushing on when his phone dinged.

MinYoonJi posted a new photo.

Yoongi was expecting another tsundere selca but was greeted by a photo of his sister, kissing the cheek of one tall guy with a goofy face and a pair of nice dimples.

A face Min Yoongi so wants to punch, kick, and burn. But her caption made Yoongi want to skin the guy alive.

“First Love.”

“KIM NAMJOON HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY PRECIOUS PETAL’S LIPS, YOU TALENTLESS PIECE OF SHIT!”

And that my friends is how Min Yoonji found her first love, Kim Namjoon (who is by the way, the person her twin brother loves to hate.)

***

So @biatch-with-wifi sent me a photo of a spliced min yoongi/min yoonji and she had an AU idea for a fic. A few exchanges later, it became the gist of this one shot, right here. Errors are all mine, not beta read. Enjoy the crack. Share the crack. Hahahaha

#bts crazy #crack fic #oneshot #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #min yoonji #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts #bts v #bts jhope #bts suga #bts rap monster #bts jimin #bts jin #bts jungkook

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preserving-ferretbrain · 5 years

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Revenge is... Awesome, Actually

by Sonia Mitchell

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Sonia reviews the film Revengers Tragedy.~

I was as surprised as anyone would be when a film I’d never heard of went straight onto my list of best films ever, particularly given that it features Christopher Ecclestone soliloquising to a skull that isn’t Yorick’s, Eddie Izzard being out-camped by Marc Warren and a soundtrack by Chumbawumba. Perhaps these reasons contributed to the film’s lack of fame, or perhaps fate is just very unfair. Because Revengers Tragedy is amazing. The film pretty much spoils itself with the title, but if you don’t want to know the details don’t read on. (The proverb the film opens with also gives a few hints as to the direction it might be going in - ‘Let the man who seeks revenge remember to dig two graves’)

Based on Thomas Middleton’s Renaissance play, Alex Cox’s film transports the story to near-future Liverpool. The majority of the dialogue is Middleton’s, though interspersed with gloriously anachronistic lines (‘we got ourselves a fuckin’ Cockney here boys’) and a fair amount of swearing. The story has been streamlined a tad, and dialogue altered accordingly, but you’d have to know the original play a fair bit better than I do in order to see the join. Frank Cottrell Boyce (writer of Millions) wrote the screenplay for the adaptation, and it’s a good one. Unfortunately the trailer did the film something of a disservice in that it was mostly visual and the few lines it did feature were ones in modern English, leaving the viewer with no idea the film uses predominantly Renaissance language. Presumably this left a few people quite surprised when they got to the cinema, while others who might have liked that sort of thing gave it a miss. Personally, in 2002 I was too distracted by LOTR: The Two Towers to notice an obscure British film starring a guy who wasn’t yet tipped to star in Doctor Who, but I’m very pleased to have rectified this.

Ecclestone is Vindici, a man seeking revenge. His wife was poisoned on their wedding day by Derek Jacobi’s Duke after she refused to sleep with him. Years have passed, in which time she’s become the aforementioned skull and Vindici has presumably been seriously stewing a long way away. Now, however, he’s ready for his revenge, and the film begins with him striding into Liverpool, shaving his head as he walks. When faced by a group of yobs he beats the shit out of them without a word, because you Do Not Mess with Vindici.

Star of the Duke’s team is Eddie Izzard, as heir Lussurioso. He and his gang of glammed and punked up brothers are decadence personified – chauffeured everywhere, partying hard and never doubting they can have any woman they choose. Lussurioso is looking for a disreputable man to secure him a particular woman, and Vindici is conveniently available. Somewhat unfortunately for Lussurioso the woman he’s after is Vindici’s sister Castiza, and his attitude towards her gets him spot number two on Vindici’s vendetta list.

At under two hours the film is fairly quickly paced, with the two main threads being Vindici’s plot to to get the most violent revenge he can, and the scheming of the Duke’s various sons to get the title for themselves. The interaction between Ecclestone and Izzard is the high point, both performances being perfectly judged. However the gaggle of brothers are a fantastic counterpoint to Vindici’s bitter wit, using the visual aspects of their performances to get laughs not in the original text. The genuinely ludicrous clothing helps, but Marc Warren in particular shows a gift for physical comedy I hadn’t suspected. His glam and camp Supervacuo is crafty at times, but his dim oblivion to what’s going on throughout the play results in some fantastically misjudged behaviour and is responsible for a lot of the laugh out loud moments. Justin Salinger’s somewhat brighter (and rather handsome) Ambitioso tends to scheme with him, and their double act mirrors the more grown-up Vindici and Lussurioso.

The film is highly stylised, contrasting beautifully with the four hundred year old dialogue. The use of CCTV footage, television reporting and an extremely good soundtrack all add to the exceptional atmosphere of awesomeness, and the story itself seems well fitted within such a setting. As the flier that came with the dvd says, ‘comparisons have been made with Baz Lurhmann’s Romeo and Juliet - both inevitable and unfortunate.’ There are surface similarities, but this is about adults, not youth. This is an angry, bitter film, and a lot of the humour is in slightly uneasy laughter. Vincini veers from anger and grief to a sinisterly manic happiness, and part of the skill in Ecclestone’s perfomance is that he takes us part-way along the path of laughing with him before leaving us as he goes into the obviously manic and not at all funny. The grey area between the two states is the interesting part. Is it funny that he sings a brushing-your-teeth song while coating the skull’s teeth with poison? What about singing the same song the next day as he brushes his own teeth, cheerful after having murdered the Duke?

Alongside the manic, however, is the genuinely moving. When he asks of the skull ‘does every proud and self-affecting dame camphor her face for this?[...] Who now bids twenty pounds a night?’ his speech is bitter and almost heartbreaking, as he ponders on the difference between the skull and the woman it once was. Derek Jacobi’s soliloquy as he reflects on his own misdeeds accompanied by flashback footage is also an affecting one. Only six lines long, it’s a rare glimpse beneath the public persona, addressed straight to the camera. I can’t decide if we’re supposed to see regret, repentance or distaste (and I think the impenetrability is deliberate – it’s a confession conscious of its audience, and he holds something back that we only find out later) but there’s certainly a gravity to the scene.

I’ve also spent a while trying to work out how this film treats women, and I’m still not altogether sure. To tamper with a winning formula, I present the Dystopia Rape Watch.

Women raped while alive: 1

Women raped post-mortum: 1 (prior to film’s main timeline)

Women who commit suicide after being raped: Supposedly 1, though there are questions raised.

Women who retain chastity despite being desired by powerful man: 1

Rapists who die horribly: 2

Potential rapists who die horribly: 1

Women who are complicit in helping above men die horribly: 1 (in a departure from the play, Castiza helps Vindici get his revenge)

Women tempted to sell their daughters to rich men: 1

Women who enjoy sex: 1

Women who enjoy incestuous sex: 1

Men who get soliloquies: At least 2

Women who get soliloquies: 0 that I can think of

No gold star, but the powerlessness of women is a theme rather than something that feels exploitative. The sacredness with which society views purity is contrasted with the corrupt powers that take whatever they like, and neither side comes away well. The supreme reverence of chastity comes from the Duke’s rival Antonio, who speaks over his dead wife’s body praising her for apparently committing suicide after being raped. This is sinister rather than something the film condones, and the fact that everyone agrees with him and the public leave a massive carpet of flowers and toys - Princess Diana style - isn’t something that sits comfortably. Rather, it highlights how broken that society is, and it’s telling that when Vindici wants the Duke’s body to be discovered he leaves it amongst the flowers of the shrine.

In this corrupted society Castiza’s position is vulnerable, and she relies to some extent on her brothers for safety, especially after her mother’s betrayal. However she has more lines and more power that she had in the original play, and actually becomes one of the revengers. She also has obvious intentions to kill Lussurioso herself with no help from Vindici, although ultimately circumstances prevent her and he’s the one who gets to revenge her honour.

I’m inclined to give the film’s issues a bye in the knowledge that the text was written four centuries ago. There’s a lot of misogyny from the characters and the society they live in, but I don’t think the film itself is inexcusably so. Castiza may be the only positive female role, but she is an important character who is active rather than passive. She’s also allowed to spit – the film doesn’t present her as an idealised lady but a young woman with opinions, agency and a sense of humour who happens to be trapped in dystopia. I think this is one of those occasions when departing from the original text is absolutely the right decision.

My only real problem is with the title. The lack of apostrophe is annoying me. Perhaps its absence is a refusal to state whether there’s one revenger or many, but I could live without the ambiguity in order to have the world as it should be. That aside, I thoroughly recommend the film whether or not you’ve heard of the play. It’s awesome.

Themes:

Fantasy Rape Watch

TV & Movies

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Wardog

at 09:49 on 2009-02-26Oh my God, I have to see this! *runs around in circles squealing with pure glee*

I love the fact that renaissance rape watch is ultimately renaissance soliloquy watch :)

To be honest, I rarely have problems with these kind of issues in historical plays... otherwise you might as well by Charlotte McBride crying over the fate of Elizabethan bears.

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Sonia Mitchell

at 12:02 on 2009-02-26

To be honest, I rarely have problems with these kind of issues in historical plays

I wouldn't bother much with a straight adaptation, but given that this departs from the text in places and uses its visuals to suggest a lot that isn't in the script I figured it might be interesting to pick through it a little. The film's very much a modern product rather than a historical one, and given what it had to work with I felt it actually did a pretty good job.

But I didn't mean to start crying about the bears :-)

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Wardog

at 14:28 on 2009-02-26Yikes, I didn't actually mean to level that as a criticism either at you or at your review. It's always interesting to pick at the issues and I think it was sensible to address them, especially since, as you say, it sounds like a self-consciously "modern" adaption (despite the Renassaince language). I think I should have used "one" instead of "you" in that sentence, and I certainly didn't mean to suggest you were crying over bears :)

It was a more a general point, actually, aimed nowhere in particular (not even at bears) - in that I have often encountered people who react badly to 'misogyny' in historical documents, in the sense that they won't attribute merit because it's anti-woman or anti-semetic or something.

Partially this is just on my mind because I've been reading a lot of Trollope :)

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Sonia Mitchell

at 20:51 on 2009-02-26I got that, don't worry :-) I was just wondering myself about the productivity of putting that bit in (And I think 'crying over bears' is a phrase I could myself using quite a bit. It's just so apt. Tilting at windmills and crying over bears...)

I have often encountered people who react badly to 'misogyny' in historical documents, in the sense that they won't attribute merit because it's anti-woman or anti-semetic or something

Yeah, it's tricky, and I think sometimes it is difficult to get over. I was iffy about Ezra Pound's work for quite a while after finding out about his views so I won't throw stones too much, but I do agree with you.

I think examining values

important, but as you said the problem lies in linking that with the merit of the work. I'm interested in Marxist takes on texts but I'm not going to throw my toys out of the pram because only the high characters get the blank verse speeches in pretty much any Ren drama.

I guess

The Tempest

is an extreme example of critics seeing only issues. I've only ever been taught it from a post-colonial angle (though in fairness it's not a favourite of mine so I haven't sought out wider criticism) whereas most of the other Shakespeare I've been formally taught has been from a more general angle which then touches on others. But that's anecdotal so proves nothing :-)

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Sonia Mitchell

at 20:52 on 2009-02-26That didn't look like such a long comment in the little box..

#Ferretbrain #Sonia Mitchell #Fantasy Rape Watch #Revengers Tragedy

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