#place your head on my own

[queerprayers]

non-food-related Lent ideas <3

People always ask for these, so I'm making a list today! I'm separating it into two sections, but remember that sometimes the best practices come from combining. If you give up something, ask what you can do with the time/money/energy you now have. I talked a little here about the importance of making specific goals, and here about why we participate in Lent.

Things to give up:

any harmful habit (If this means starting a recovery journey for an addictive or other mental health-related action, please consider seeking out treatment.)

alcohol/drugs/smoking (see above parentheses)

sexual activity

some/all social media (you could delete a couple apps, or set a timer to limit yourself)

TV/video games/another form of casual entertainment

makeup/manicures/another appearance-related routine

Things to start/add:

journaling/art

daily prayer/Bible study practice

attend a worship service if you don't regularly, or commit to attending more

mutual aid/donation

volunteer work

yoga/walking/another physical practice

pick a book to read or subject to research

call someone/write a letter every week

reach out to someone you haven't talked to in a while, especially a relationship that might need forgiveness or conflict resolution

be politically active (join a group, educate yourself, or call representatives)

set aside a time to rest or a full day of rest every week

#feel free to add your own ideas! this is just a starting place off the top of my head

[south-sea]

i think a lot of people don’t always realize the difference between “this is how i interpret canon” and “this is how i want to write it because that’s what’s fun to me”. a lot of times the latter is all headcanons or AUs are, not an indication of what the writer thinks “is” or “should be” canon

more power to those who are super tuned into actual canon and know these details like the back of their hand, but sometimes people just wanna use a series as a sandbox, not a ruleset. genuinely nothing but respect for people who ARE that knowledgeable, but i and a lot of other people are just here to have fun with characters we enjoy—and want to put them in more accessible settings

#this isn't meant to be grandstanding or anything i'm just thinking aloud. i know i've said stuff like this before it just hit me suddenly #thinking about those weird anons from a while back who were really getting on my case about this #and i could not wrap my head around what the problem was because it’s like. that’s why it’s an au? #why are you mad about details of an au not lining up with canon #that’s the whole point of it being. an au #like of course shadow would normally be able to visit certain places. of course he should already know omega. #but there is a deliberate reason why second chance shadow can't/doesn't #and now i realize it's probably because they were seeing my posts entirely out of context #but still don't go attacking people for out of context posts either?? #i'm shocked no one's seriously gotten on my case about aruna's hive yet because it's a prime example of 'intentionally nowhere near canon' #and like overall just don't be a penders and you're fine #lord knows i've got plenty of 'characters who have strayed so far from canon they may as well be OCs' in my pocket #but i still acknowledge they're not by definition OCs yknow #sometimes you just wanna use a funny lil guy as groundwork and then do your own thing #sea talks

[catmanbowser]

Jock 4 jock

Skater x jock

Idk take your pick

#tim drake #kon el #dc #catman's art #good morning lol #i have too many assignments but my head’s full so i need to draw something else #so have these two #tim drake has always been a skater jock #kind of prick that would skate to your place and takes you to some expensive ass dining place for no goddamn reason #oh wait one reason. he’s rich #kon’s just kon #regular ass kent farmer boy but he’s also a jock #wow #what am i saying here idk ok its 7 am i have a lot in my mind i havent slept since yesterday #reminder to useyour own fucking tags bcs if i see one more person tagging shit with my personal shit you are in the block blaster 5000 row

[apollo-cackling]

Her brother laughed a little. “Ah, Shae, if you decided to betray me, what could I do? What’s the point of life if you can’t even trust your own kin?” He kicked her foot under the table, a teasing, childish gesture. “For you to hand my head over to the Mountain, you must really hate me. I must be such a terrible brother that I’d deserve to die. So there was nothing to be done about it.”

- Jade City, Fonda Lee

#green bone saga #fonda lee #quotes #my rambles #speaking of scenes that live rent free in my head #it's been probably over a year and a half since I last read this book and I keep thinking of this #how incredibly trusting. how incredibly noble，to place your life in the hands of the people you love #and to trust that if you were betrayed，they have good reason #jade city #like AGH hilo's such a magnificient bastard he does some really hateable things and I hear there's more down that line #but also I can't hate him all that much bc he has his own honour code that he follows to a T and he can be *this* noble and selfless #idk does this make sense #I need to continue reading jade war the series is excellent #book quotes #10n #20n #50n

[daddyplasmius]

hand on my stupid heart flashbacks

this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)

-

When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.

He almost went back.

Almost.

He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.

He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.

-

Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.

Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー

The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.

While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.

Dad scrambled to shoot at him.

Danny fled.

His parents didn’t recognize him.

-

The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.

He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.

The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”

Everyone pointed at Sam.

Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.

This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.

The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.

Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.

Surely they would know him on sight.

“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.

Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”

-

Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.

He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?

They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.

It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.

Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.

VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.

Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.

#danny phantom #danny phantom au #danny phantom fanfiction #you know that gif of the wailing emoji dissolving? :Why:? #yeah that's what i do every time i remember i never finished HOMSH while i still had the style in my brain #feel free to steal this idea. please steal this idea. please write it i wanna see this idea so bad but im already writing another 100k+ fic #if y'all want me to post the full fic i can but. it is not finished & most likely never will be. sorry again #i won't lie. the haze i was in was a depressed one. i was. not in a good place At All when i wrote HOMSH #like the only part i remember actually writing was the panic attack scene & that's just barely #i reread the whole fic in the middle of the night months later while listening to Implode Alright by Built by Snow on repeat #yeah i cried. this one is funny but mostly it's just. mourning. grief. the works. it's a vent fic & also a. kind of. wishful fic #like. don't you just wish death wasn't so permanent. don't you wish you could tell them everything you wish you could #don't you wish you could just see them again #i'm actually writing this into a bigger ventier series currently called Let Grief Do Its Work #cuz i rewatched LUCIDS again recently & remembered what HOMSH was originally about. why i was writing it #i'm not calling it HOMSH cuz. HOMSHie is my baby. it's its own thing & i don't wanna ruin the vibes #reluctantly admitting i call an unfinished fanfic i don't remember writing... HOMSHie baby... in my head #yeah i have a cute nickname for my fic. what of it #it's 5am & i think i'll throw up if i think any more about posting unfinished unedited pieces of a fic so i'm going for it. cowabunga #go into the world. get your 2 notes you beautiful animal #*passes out*

[quietwingsinthesky]

obsessed with the idea of the doctor and the master standing together in opposition to gallifrey post-end of time. less in it being the reality of the situation, and more in it being what the master perceives it to be in the immediate aftermath of being. well. told he was going to be disposed of. the combination of that rejection with the doctor choosing him, the way that sets them up with a common enemy. but where that enemy for the master becomes gallifrey in the abstract with the council as the face of it, the doctor never sees it that way, never thinks of it as the two of them against their own world. the doctor, crucially, kept count of the children. when he saves gallifrey, it isn’t about the master at all, not to anyone but the master themself. because how are they supposed to take the doctor choosing gallifrey over them as anything other than a betrayal.

#the master and his stupid warped sense of importance to both the doctor’s choices and the universe as a whole #which is. well. i mean he’s not alone in that. the doctor has the same ideas about himself in relation to the master. and the universe. #only the universe obviously sometimes validates him because this is a story. about him. #but my point is. the master wanting gallifrey to burn post-end of time. setting up the hybrid prophecy as missy. makes sense to me. it does. #i just wish there was more. conflict to it. more to lash out at the doctor with because the master is choosing him so *why* isn’t he #choosing the master back. why is he trying to stop the hybrid plans. this is what they’re meant to *do*. this is what being on the same side #*means*. that there must be an opposition and that opposition must be gallifrey as a whole. because in that most crucial moment the master #got hurt. and time echoed back because of what the council did to make it so he’d been hurting his entire life. just so they could use him. #you get it? you get it. my fucked up raccoon of a man she has so many issues. #it’s just such a fascinating concept to me because that is still *gallifrey*. that’s still his home. the master is not heartless. #when he tries to connect with the doctor he does it to references to gallifrey’s physical features. this is a place he mourned you know? #in his way. so. you know. how do you look at your home and want it to burn right? how far do things have to escalate that you’d rather it be #ash than a place to go back to. and how do you deal with pushing forward with this plan. when you thought you wouldn’t have to push it alone #like for one minute there they were really truly on the same side. their own side. and then they weren’t. and no one told the master that #they weren’t anymore until she got punched in the head by that knowledge. you know? #rambling again im so sorry #doctor who #thoschei #the doctor #the master

[wonder-worker]

A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)

I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks

#history media #this was written months ago im posting it to get it out of my drafts #it wasn't necessarily BAD. it was generic and readable. but it was very disappointing and misleading and its conclusion was just nonsense #listen I have no patience for the dumbfuck idea that edward somehow had the ultimate responsibility for his own son's deposition because #of his 'policies' during his reign. like I said it's based fully on hindsight and entirely devoid of actual context. it's bafflingly stupid #literally everyone expected Edward V to succeed his father and 'both hoped for and expected' (Croyland's own words) a successful reign #Edward V's deposition was richard and solely Richard's fault lol this should not be difficult to understand #the reason Richard's usurpation was possible in the first place was bcause everyone expected E5 to succeed and didn't expect Richard #do to what he did. nothing would have happened without his initiative and decisions. it had nothing to do with Edward's 'policies' #Edward's policies were fine. henry vii - who pollard vaunts to no end - literally *followed* them #and claiming that he failed to unite England under the Yorkist dynasty is just plain stupid #buddy if he truly failed at that then neither Richard III nor Henry VII would have thrones lol. both emphasized continuity with #him when aiming for the throne. like the whole point of 1483-85 was that it was a conflict WITHIN the 'Yorkist' dynasty #it was not an external threat against it. #'his legacy failed' his legacy didn't fail his brother destroyed it (while also presenting himself as his heir because logic what's logic?) #henry's victory was very much the triumph of his legacy (a claimant chosen by his supporters as the husband of his daughter) #like this is really not my interpretation it is literally what happened #i'm not trying to glorify e4 but his son did inherit the throne in a more advantageous circumstances than any other minor king of england #and frankly than most other adult kings. dumping blame on Edward's literal corpse rather than acknowledge Richard's agency is so tasteless #the problem isn't that edward made a mistake in trusting his brother. many other kings including Henry V also trusted theirs. #the problem is that his brother was willing to break that trust in a way that was unprecedented and broke all political norms of that age #ie: Richard's usurpation occurred because of Richard who re-ignited conflict to make himself king. please drill this into your head #also btw this illogical 'interpretation' is based entirely on Charles Ross' hatred and derision towards Elizabeth Woodville and her family #if you agree with this inteterpretation you agree with his vilification of them 🤷🏻‍♀️ #anyway if you want a better interpretation that's actually analytical and looks a relevant rather than a flawed retrospective perspective #i would recommend rosemary horrox's 'richard iii: a study of service' and david horspool's 'richard iii: a ruler and his reputation' #anyway one last time: STOP downplaying Richard's agency and actions. historians who do this are stupid and embarrassing. bye. #(i should really post horspool's glorious takedown of ross and Pollard huh? it was very entertaining to read)

[fate-defiant]

There is a Duckling,, LOOSE in the archives

#duck in the jarchives what delights will she bring #do not archive #my art #anyway yea i've been thinking about that tma au again #these are mostly misc goofs and gags and whatnot #but something is slowly forming in my head #anyway yea ive decided to place this circa season 3 #sorry sasha better luck next time. #there;s more where this came from and i may or may not have thumbnailed. a short comic #why yes i do have tons of other shit to do i am glad you asked #no i will not prioritize the more important shit who do you think you're talking to. a functional adult? i am typing this at 4 am. #anyway i imagine martin is duck's emotional support adult. he did not ask for this and does not know how to be that but he tries #god imagine human!duck interacting with the archival team. priceless #get in loser we're going to thera- wait what the fuck thats. a child. a child is doingWhy is a child doing therapy #hey child? child you do know this is not your responsibilty right? right? Child???????????? #oh my GOD the parallels. #yea this would unveil some real fucky issues in ducks sweet selfless little head #and thats not even getting into my own musings and headcanons regarding the bertha au and also yes i am integrating htat into this. somehow #theres a comic idea sitting on my brain about that too y'all something has unlocked in me but only for the purely self indulgent shit #i need horse tranquilizers i need horse tranquilizers.

[rubysevens]

i will be honest sometimes ill be talking w europeans abt gaza and its like okay you’re talking about a concept and i am talking about my uncle

#in many different ways. mostly thinking abt this one christian german guy my friend knew who was really intensely zionist and it was like #you are making up this idea of jewish people in your head like this is a symbol to you. idk that youre engaging w the realities dude #but same w like the irish ppl i overheard the other day being like ‘ah well you know palestinians are so like us as well’ #this seems like maybe youre just treating palestine as a symbol for ireland but like. it’s its own place #the attitude of like. making world war one ass alliances and being like well im on this side for symbolic reasons irrespective of the #people actually involved really annoys me #like idt palestinians right to not be genocided is dependent on how irish they seem #and idt supporting the israeli state meaningfully changes the fact that you dont talk to jewish people in your actual life #both attitudes end up centering ur european feelings #idk this is longwinded but the thought has been stuck in my head #be quiet b

[moonscape]

explorers of the spirit getting popular is kind of annoying me because there's just gonna be tons of people who never got over their petty childhood hatred of chatot feeling validated over blaming him for the guild rules when he's not the one who came up with those rules in the first place

#bwark #i haven't played it myself so i can't judge but from what i've heard apprently the game itself just comes across like the creator never #got over their petty hatred #like girl......you do know that he's the sole reason the guild isn't in shambles #those rules are in place because the exploration federation was the ones who did that #also chatot literally says if you talk to him before going to amp plains that the guild is barely getting by as it is #this info is all directly in the game and the pmd fandom is filled with people that ignore this in order to feel justified in their dislike #of him #and i'm not saying you can't dislike him. i literally don't care what you do #but don't ignore canon and make shit up to fuel your own narrative #also why does everybody blame chatot but not fucking wigglytuff #like. i get that chatot is the one keeping things in line but wigglytuff should share just as much blame if you really want to point #fingers so badly #btw since i'm on the topic i've changed my opinion on the perfect apple incident. i'm not being an apologist for him anymore #it was fucked up #but holding that incident over his head when he instantly believes you after coming back from the future and nearly kills himself trying #to protect you in brine cave is dumb as hell #anyway making this unrebloggable because i don't want more chatot discourse after last time

[oopsallmabari]

me: oh i should write a flashback scene in ostwick circle that'd be a good thing to explore

me, 5 minutes later: i need to diagram the entirety of ostwick circle in my mind with floorplans

#ari speaks #i'm. not gonna do that but i'm like. #ok scene takes place in a chapel bc circles seem to have chapels in them. what floor is the chapel on? #first floor so everyone can access it? #but wait would the templars (known religious fellows) want to pray in the same place that mages would? #prob not bc it wouldn't help w keeping emotional distance from their charges. #but then WHERE do the templar quarters go? should it be like the circle tower or should it almost be like there are different compounds? #should there be something like a chapter house where the templars go to pray/contemplate the chant? #do the templars have their own dormitory in a separate building? #and now i'm feeling like i need to replay pentiment and do research on medieval christian monasteries for reference. #all for ONE SCENE in ONE CHAPTER...so deeply unnecessary....it won't leave my head now... #what i'm asking for bioware is for you to give us another WOT that goes deep into the structure and running of Circles #as if it were a history book. #like i have wot 1. i know what is in wot 1. what i'm talking about is like. yknow how your old history textbooks wld talk abt ancient egypt #and like diagram the pyramids and diff chambers and their purpose and shit like that. that's what i mean. #bioware PLEASE. i'm about to lose it for no reason.

[fellhellion]

conchata saying neither of my sons were worth much in a fight...im so fucking unwell...

#the fact shes saying this in response to gabriel getting brutalised by the fucking cops aughhhhh head in hands conchata u make me so unwell #u have so many Issues. tried to protect your sons from a violent man but there was nobody left to protect you except Yourself #you did things you were ashamed of to leave a place you wanted to forget augh... #miguel :handshake: conchata: simultaneously finding gabriel's softness something they want to protect but also viewing him as a bit weak #im so fucking unwell... #ive dealt w bullies like you all my life conchata says as she slaps a literal child across the face. like kron is a shitty fucking kid #but thats still a CHILD. ough. conchata striking kron and conchata striking miguel and conchata being a victim herself of a man who hurt he #so badly and TOOK her son from her. conchata who goes to threaten tyler stone w a bullet in the brain for hurting her sons (epic W) #but who also cannot look her own physical violence against miguel in the face for what it is #tunes talks 2099

[paintalyx]

it's not that deep but the ground is soft and all that jazz, so i desperately wish to do a loose rewrite of wyll's arc because there are so many little details that could be added to make it hit harder. just. agh. so many gaps. so much potential. angst and headcanon bait practically.

how were the first days of exile for him? who were his childhood friends and where are they now? how much does he truly believe some of the stuff he says, and how much is just for the show? how does he truly feel about his father in arc three and after the game ends (depending on your choices, of course)? what is his relationship with his body like after it's been changed? you can literally go so deep.

my man barely is barely given the opportunity to acknowledge any conflicting emotions that he might have about things from his past without player input, and i get that it's so that your special little tav guy can feel even more special by helping him, but i'd personally prefer to see him struggle without that kind of guidance

#my stuff #bg3 #wyll ravengard #i had a similar complaint about player insert characters playing everyone's psych in a couple of other games too #i feel like it takes away from certain stories especially without proper justification #like in my head that justification in-game could be wyll seeking approval from whoever is closest (daddy issues hello~) #but that seems kinda easy and not nearly angsty enough #i've seen a couple of amazing fics that rework certain story beads without tav and oh wow they live in my head rent free #but they're not wyll centric enough #he's my special little guy i need to see him pulled apart and pressure washed and wrung out and left out to dry in the sun #bah my thoughts are all over the place about this #also feel free to add your own thoughts and opinions i'd love to hear them #consider this bait for dropping all your hardest wyll headcanons and theories and whatever

[oatbugs]

. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying

#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too #i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as #a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done #putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning #this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks #everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from #recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's #science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said #and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life #breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful #things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to #restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of #this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the #except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you #have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him #and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met. #tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most #extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going. #you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another #phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts. #i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know. #i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied. #you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up #i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.

[fabledteeth]

something something the aesthetic use of body horror in bg3 and it’s central theme revolving around bodily autonomy and the complete and utter lack of it

#somethin’ bout the fleshy innards of moonrise towers #……. #tooth talks #bg3 #like it’s about the flesh and blood and bones and…something…. #you never have autonomy. volo is going to pluck out your eye. someone placed a bomb in your chest and you had no say in it #someone forced you to grow horns and gave you a forked tongue #someone created you to be consumed and then literally carved a deed of ownership into your skin #you belong to vlaakith or shar and your memories are ours to take and your own people will think you disgusting for what has been put inside #your head #there is now a tadpole in your brain and it allows others to peer into your mind and it will eventually consume you body and soul from the #inside out. it will melt your flesh off your bones and turn our insides to goo and it will literally obliterate You entirely #but it will keep your memories. it will keep the metaphysical shape of you. #but You are gone. you are consumed. you were destroyed in a horrific body horror fleshy pain ritual #and you never had a choice about what was going to happen #WHAT IF I LOST MY MIND #bg3 spoilers #im rambling cus im reading for class and understanding nothing the adhd is in full force nr #rn* #by aesthetic I mean like. environment designs n stuff #like the nautiloid etc being made of organic material and such #like mind flayers are alien creatures that literally obliterate your physical form but all their technology is made of flesh. of the very #thing they consume #their designs themselves are incredibly Organic (exposed brain) #god. godddd. #this fucking game. #haven’t felt this way abt a game since botw #goddddddd #I think I maybe used the word metaphysical wrong but. hum

[peapod20001]

I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3

#random post #me tag ∠( ᐛ 」 ) |/ #I’m not an overly emotional person in the stereotypical way. but I do get in my feels when thinking about life and the experience of living #I’m like. constantly explaining things to myself cus there’s never really a time or place to talk about it #also my method of explaining things is very not coherent sometimes. so it takes me a bit to really get my point across in a comprehensible #way. I’m a big thinker. I have many thoughts and ideas a views. a daily thing of mine is noticing problems #and then fixing them in my head with thought out explanations and motives and outcomes #it’s like I’m talking to someone else. much like how I format my text posts. that’s how my inner monologue is #me talking to myself is actually me talking to someone else. someone that isn’t real #anyways it’s a daily occurrence. every day of my life is spent with thoughts similar to those breaking down a movie #lots of thoughts from adhd. compulsive thoughts from ocd. overwhelming thoughts from autism. distressing thoughts from bpd #ya. this isn’t a vent I just need to like. see the thoughts in writing so I can do smth else. like eat this muffin ive been staring at for #over an hour now <3 mmmbfbg yea muffins are hard to eat now cus I had some with mold and food mold especially is a big nono for me #spend like. five minutes examining the damn thing before I even consider taking a bite. I’m very hungry an thirsty </3 #when your mouth is so dry you can taste your own mouth 👍 I’m experiencing #nothing in particular. just experiencing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like having an experience and living #drank my tea and I had like. hallucinations of like an alcohol prep pad. I’ve been using those in my ear cus. tmi. had a pimple that’s #causing problems so mom suggested that. it burned! which means it worked so word. I’ve noticed lately that both me AND my family have been #using ‘word’ a lot. dad says we’ve been saying it but no we haven’t. if we had I’d have BEEN saying it. maybe we’ve used it before for a bit #but now it’s back. idk. I’ve said it in class on more than one occasion lmao I don’t look like the type to say smth like that but whatever #it’s like when I used to say bro after every sentence like 10 years ago lol. we’re a family of parrots we repeat eachother a lot #I started saying I love you out of no where and they started doing it too. we whistle at eachother from across the house. sing ear worms #together. quote funny things at every opportunity and drive the joke into the ground. everyone in this house is a different kind of mentally #I’ll and it’s the most beautiful clash of personalities because we’re all so annoying and we love eachother so much and also our #communication is shit because some ppl have hearing loss and another is a short fused child and some are quick to interrupt and some dont #get a word in and some just can’t explain and some can’t understand. we get there eventually at some point. we don’t get the full grasp of #how much we love eachother yet. but we’re gettin there. anyways this went into several different directions but they’re all good ones #I think. if you read all this good on you! this is my brain 24/7/365 haha ok love you