asdfghjkkjhcxcvbmk,kjhbas just me complaining about writing
I do not like this thing I am writing! But in a completely different way than the things I was writing before.
With the Kensei Chapter, I think the main issue is that there’s a lot of narrative strains that muddle into each other and don’t stick the landing, so eventually what I need to do is zoom out and and do some macro weaving.
With the Hinamori Chapter, I haven’t actually gone back to look at it, but my impression is that it’s problem is that I am trying to write something that’s worthwhile to explore with Hinamori—I just keep writing around or over it rather than actually getting the "it" onto the page. So it’s something that could be good, but only works if it’s done well.
With the thing I am writing now, I think the concept is interesting! I think the plot is interesting! I think the random worldbuilding required of the plot/concept were a lot of fun to come up with!
I think the fic itself is dogggggshit. :(
The writing is not the problem; like, as prose, I think it is fine. It is sometimes pretentious and sometimes braindead, but what else is new. I don’t really know that it fits the POV character, which is a much bigger issue, imho.
But I think the biggest issue is that I feel like the story is not in any kind of relationship with the character that it is about. Like, somehow, despite my best intentions, it doesn’t feel like this story is about her. And if it’s not about her, if she is not here, then there is no point. Like, I don’t know what to call some level of remove even further-flung than being OOC, but that’s what this feels like. And all the character stuff that comes in as you’re writing a thing just makes it feel further and further away from *her.*
What’s even dumber is that at the same time this fic (well, this writing—is it really fanfic) cannot find the character it is about, it’s not even that I’ve gotten too carried away with the concept or world and that’s what’s leading me astray? Because none of that is in here either! I mean, it exists on the page, but none of that is really here, either. I’ve also done that before.
But with this piece of writing, it’s like somehow NONE of the characters, NONE of the ideas, and NONE of the inconsequential but personally titillating details are actually animating this piece. Which is… impressive, I guess is a word.
And I’d say, well, the answer is clear here: Throw it away! You made a pie except you only used 5000 gallons of water and a piepan, gg. Start over!
But whatever this thing is also appears to be the only thing I can actually write. Like, I keep putting it away and then I keep coming back and writing more of it and it keeps growing. So do I just try to get it out of my system? I don’t even want it, though.
I also don’t think that solves the fact that the brain that is attached to my fingers is apparently severed from Things I Actually Like—not just Things I Actually Like done *well* but them in their entirety, even badly. Because, I reiterate, literally none of those things are in the prose. (They are on the page. They are literally the outline. But in the translation from outline to prose, they somehow disappear.) Like, I’m pretty sure if I started over this stupid invasive weed would overrun the flowerbed again.
Do I throw this away and start over, only to be dragged back into this hell once more?
Do I waste my life writing this thing I don’t even want, just to see if it will let me out?
I guess I’ll try to that figure out tomorrow.
* I’d say "well, self, you could not do any of those things" but I already did that yesterday. I spent an hour walking to the post office and back AND an hour and a half taking/processing photos of birds. This week I also started reading a fanfic I am in love with, and am finishing reading a book I am very underwhelmed by. I remain possessed by the ghost of "literally what is this writing"
I don’t want to take any more bird photos!
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Some early Omega Constellation watches for the French market feature high grade cases with the hallmark PGF. Beautifully made and rare, they are something to look out for in the world of vintage Constellation. Just look at the incredible relief on the Observatory logo caseback and the sharpness of the stars in the sky. This piece has the earliest style round pie pan dial with arrow markers and even its original PGF marked 18k Omega buckle. Mounted on an exceptional fully remborded @welsbrowatch 'Toffee' padded Napa vintage style strap. - - - - - - - - - - #Omega #vintageOmega #Constellation #1950s #Frenchcase #PGF #18kyellow #solidgold #vintagewatch #rarewatch #piepan #observatory #caliber505 #cosc #chronometer #watch #watches #watchfam https://www.instagram.com/timetitans/p/CXMNCF2pfvR/?utm_medium=tumblr
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I could buy more appropriate baking dishes or I can bake peach cobbler in a ceramic pie plate. It’s just as delicious this way so this is good enough. #peachcobbler #piepan #pieplate #goodenough #comfortfood https://www.instagram.com/p/CMYK3RijiZ3/?igshid=15bllcy7rwal6
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ang sabi ko lutuan ng pie, bat moko bibigyan ng malaking tansan (bottle cap 🤪)!!!! nakita na ang nakababatang kapatid ni Mama, 240 mL version na RC cola yan kaya may tansan! 😂 #amazingadventuresofbeaujethro #tansan #rccola #bottlecapchallenge #bottlecap #pie #americanpie #piepan #nice #nice06 #france #gobel #baking #chefjethro (at Nice, France) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIJMYUFBit4/?igshid=9s8sintxhwci
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