The Woodscouts confuse me so much. They're an officially registered organisation that spans the entirety of the USA, has existed for generations, their camp is flipping massive, yet troop 818 has four campers, AND NO FUCKING LEADERS, like Pikeman is in charge of all the kids, and he's like 13 tops, they're able to legally steal campers based off verbal agreements, THEY HIRED THEMSELVES AN ACTUAL ADULT TO LEAD THEM WITH NO BACKGROUND CHECKS OR ANYTHING LIKE WHAT-, who is running this organisation, where are their parents, how old is Petrol really because he looks fucking 25, where are their parents, who sends them off to the woods to be unsupervised for three months, and David and Gwen are just like, fine with these antagonistic kids living across the lake in the woods sailing off in a hot air balloon unsupervised fhjshdhdjs season five needs to elabourate on them PRONTO I need more Petrol, I need more Snake, I need less Jeremy, dear god PIKEMAN?! problematic fave
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Nurf: What are your pronouns?
Snake: What's a pronoun?
Nurf: Indicative but not exclusive to your gender identity.
Snake: Stop swearing at me.
Nurf: Can I refer to you as they/them?
Snake: But my name is Snake.
Nurf: Petrol, what are the small one's pronouns?!
Petrol: Oh, we use he/him for him. He doesn't really care though.
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‼️TRIGGER WARNING FOR CONTENT‼️
This post contains: blood, weapons, slight body horror
Camp virus - design sheet #1 - camp: woodscouts (vacant)
***DO NOT GO CLOSE TO THE INFECTED, IF INFECTED IS SEEN VACATE THE AREA IMMEDIATELY***
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( big stretch! )
( woodscouts x gn!reader ) ( platonic! )
( dog people dni. )
“Pikeman, come over here!”
the pimple-faced boy was very confused as he was called over by his friend, seeing them crouched down and playing with something on the ground.
“(y/n), what are you doing?”
as he stepped closer, he could hear them cooing and talking in a (strangely comforting) baby-voice.
“yes, you’re so cute aren’t you! yes you are, yes you are!”
(y/n) spoke softly as the little grey ball of fur leaned into their touch, absolutely melting their heart. it was a kitten, probably only a month old, and it was the cutest thing they had ever seen.
pikeman inched closer, his eyebrows scrunched before realizing what it was. a kitten, of course. the woodscouts often find stray animals, ranging from aggressive and rabid dogs to the cutest and laziest cats you’d ever see.
never had any of the other woodscouts approached one, let alone pet it, so he was a little afraid for his camper.
“(y/n), be careful! what if it has rabies??”
“don’t worry pike, he’s clearly harmless!” they responded, the biggest smile on their face. they scooped up the kitty, and held him to their chest as it meowed and whined to be pet again.
“he? how do you know it’s a he?”
(y/n) turned the cat’s butt to pikeman, and lifted the tail to show the rear end.
“see that right there?” they pointed to the small hole right underneath the tail. “the line? it’s a x, see? that means it’s a boy. if it was one line alone, that means it’s a girl.”
as pikeman wondered why they knew that fact, they were already walking past him towards the tents.
“come one, let’s show the others!”
—
months past by, and that kitten became the baby of the camp. (y/n) had named him ‘scout’, though only they, snake, and petrol called him that. pikeman settled for ‘little rascal’.
currently, they were all sitting in pikeman’s tent, talking about the plans for next week.
“next order of business: camp campbell! i’ve heard talk from the other camps around here, and they say that there’s a lot of illegal stuff happening there. i say that-“
but he was cut off before he could finish.
“pikeman, look!”
(y/n) sat on his cot, with scout (who was fast asleep) in their lap. however, due to their leaders incessant talking, scout had woken up.
the four (pikeman, petrol, snake, and y/n) watched scout yawn dramatically and lick his lips as he opened his eyes.
“awww, good morning cutie pie!” (y/n) cooed at him, watching as he fully woke up.
as he stretched out his front paws, claws coming out, and leaned back on his hind paws, there was only one thing the four could say:
“oh, big stretch!”
——
account is still discontinued but this is dedicated to my one follower who messaged me to make sure i was okay after the discontinuation. love u bro <3
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Camp Camp Swear Count season 3
167 swear in total, first person to swear was Gwen. *I included torso takers cause it marked as episode 13 and camp Christmas special cause I somehow missed it earlier. ** And of course I subscribe to the theory to the past David dang theory and will be counting dangs in flashbacks under damn.
Swears used:
boner/bastard were used once; crap/dick 3 times; bitch 8; ass 10; damn 20; shit 47; fuck 74
Ranks:
Last place non swearers Nerris/Harrison/Ered/Preston/Dolph/ Pikeman/Petrol/Jermy/Vera/Dang/Hwan/Daniel
is a tie Brian/Spacekid/Quartermaster/David & extras with 1
is a tie Nikki/Mr.Campbell/Snake/Sasha/Tabbii/Erin with 2
is parents with 3
is Jasper with 4
is Nurf with 5
is Neil with 10
3rd place is Gwen with 28
"2nd place" is the Songs with 29
1st place is Max with 71
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