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sparkywrites25 · 1 year

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Lost - Chapter 5

Story Summary: Petra survives her encounter with the female titan but when she’s hurt and goes missing, her comrades believe her to be dead and make for home. Now she has to try and survive long enough to get back home. If she can manage that, what will be waiting for her there? What will Levi do if he’s faced with a second chance at having Petra in his life?

Chapter Summary: A haunted Petra resolves to end her situation.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Petra Ral | Rivetra

Taglist: @lunar-rainclouds @captain-natey @wholeheartedly-alex

September 849

Petra cried out as she lurched from one tree to the other in a string of clumsy hops. Her fingers, having left one branch behind, reached out towards another. The rough and splintered bark cut into her already bleeding hand. At this point, she barely noticed the pain in her palm which is more than could be said for the agony within her ankle right now. Having caught her balance, she leaned against the tree to catch her breath.

She should have been more careful about the landing, she reflected. She’d dropped too hard onto that foot and then moved at a wonky angle way too fast. She gazed back over her shoulder. The open plains and scattered trees of the landscape of Wall Maria greeted her. No hideously gigantic brutes met her eyes but she could hear their footsteps slamming into the ground in the distance along with the battle cries of her comrades as they cut through them. They couldn’t keep them occupied forever without having to kill them all and there were many of them. No doubt more would show up soon. Fate was not so kind as to stop at a dozen or so titans.

“Petra!” The captain’s voice barked at her, accompanied by the sound of his gas. She heard his footfall - no doubt far more careful than hers - quicken as he approached her. She didn’t look towards him at first, staring into the bark instead as she caught her breath. Anything to delay the inevitable chide of Captain Levi over her poor footwork and the waste of a good soldier being out of action.

“Sir!” she answered after about half a second.

“How badly are you hurt?” he questioned as he reached her. He knelt down before she answered and his hands gently took hold of her ankle. She flinched, hissing.

“I don’t think it’s broken,” she explained as she finally turned her gaze on the top of his dark head. “But I can’t walk on it.” She bit back a cry as Levi’s hands moved over her ankle, moving it slightly. It was hard for him to be able to tell anything over her boot but she didn’t object as he examined her foot anyway.

“May just be a sprain,” he said, getting back to his feet. “How did it happen?”

“Just a bad landing, sir. My fault. I moved too quickly after hitting the ground.”

“It happens.” Levi’s tone was dismissive of the blame. “Let’s get you back to the others. Think you can ride?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” she assured him.

“Good.” Before she knew what was happening, his arm wrapped around her back and his other slid under her knees. She was swept up into a bridal hold at once.

“Sir - I can hop!” Petra protested despite the pain of her ankle’s movement and the fact that being pressed against her captain’s chest was really very nice.

“Yeah and it’ll take you about an hour to get anywhere..” Levi’s scoff cut through Petra and she bowed her head.

“I guess that’s true. I’m sorry to be a burden, Captain.”

Once she was adjusted in his arms, Levi strode forward. A small “Tch” sounded from his throat. “You’re not. You can still serve a purpose. You can act as relay once we resume the formation.”

“We’re continuing south?”

“Yeah. Almost all of the titans are taken care of.”

“There’s no more coming?” Petra’s brows shot up high. “That’s… lucky for us.”

“For now, it is,” Levi agreed, tucking her body closer against his chest as his pace increased. “It won’t last.”

This was usually the point in the conversation when Petra would tease her captain about his negativity and speculate that the Scouts were due for some good luck. It had become something of a tradition for them both. Both of them knowing that they weren’t going to sway the other but stepping into that conversational dance all the same. Petra liked to see the small shift of Levi’s lips as he teased her for her “charmingly naive and optimistic” view on life. If she felt considerably more bold then she might well have teased him in return about his dark and gloomy outlook. No, Petra corrected herself, it would be stupid to do so. She knew very little about the captain’s life down there but whenever something was brought up about it, his eyes would darken and a kind of warning shield would appear in his gaze. An unmistakable “don’t talk to me about this” look.

However Petra did none of her usual teasing as her eyes left the captain’s face and swept over the battlefield. Blood and broken bodies lay scattered across this area and Petra’s stomach lurched with regret as she recognized some of the fallen faces. Among them, steaming piles of flesh signalled that vengeance had been taken. She wondered how many of these had been taken down by the captain.

“How many so far?” her question was quiet. The implication was even quieter. How many could she have saved if she hadn’t injured herself?

“We don’t know yet.”

“Okay.” Petra turned her face away from the view of bloodied bodies and took a deep breath, steeling herself for now. There would be time to lament the fallen but there was still work to be done. She wouldn’t make a titan’s attempt on her life any easier by falling apart now.

“How did you end up so far from the rest of the squad?” Levi asked after a few minutes of carrying her in silence. “You were working with Gunther, weren’t you?” Silver-blue eyes met and held her amber ones.

“We took care of the abnormals,” Petra explained, “well, most of them anyway. The last one charged a group of new recruits. Three of them got trampled and the other two were so out of their depth-”

“You went to their aid,” Levi said.

Petra nodded. “I couldn’t not.”

“No. If you’re available to help then you should. These brats won’t become veterans unless they actually survive.”

Petra smiled slightly. “Yeah although I was also following your orders to handle the abnormals. The last one just took a bit of a detour.”

“And that’s when you hurt your ankle?”

“No. That came later. I killed the abnormal and took down a couple of seven-metres nearby. I was fighting a ten-metre after I got rid of them. That’s when I hurt my ankle. I landed too hard after killing the ten-metre..” Petra suppressed a shudder at the memory of the impact of the landing. She should have latched onto a tree. There were some close enough to reach. It would have slowed her fall.

“Good job, Petra. We’ve got more recruits who are still with us, thanks to you.”

“I’m sure the others saved some too,” Petra mumbled, still gazing upwards and away from the bloody battlefield. “I was just doing my job sir.”

“And I’m just recognizing that,” Levi answered firmly. He began to slow down and a deep frown etched its way onto his face. “It’s just a shame you didn’t show that kind of initiative when you were in the forest taking Eren away from the Female Titan .”

Petra returned the frown. “What are you talking about? Who’s Eren?” she questioned. Yet something about his questions did ring a bell. But how could they? She had never encountered an Eren before. Was she mishearing the captain? Had she hit her head or something?

“What happened? Your survival instincts take a trip or what?” Levi snapped at her, his brows so furrowed that his forehead wrinkled. “You thought you’d hide away in a shitty hole in a tree instead? Aren’t you planning on coming back to the Walls?”

“What-? Captain, I don’t know what-”

—————————————————————

Day 20 since the expedition

Petra returned to reality with a soft gasp and a rustle of dried leaves beneath her.

Her vision quickly cleared. Fading sunlight shone over her legs and feet. The speed with which clarity came to her was encouraging, as was the lack of aches and chills in her body. When she reached to touch her arm, it wasn’t sweat-soaked. She sat up slowly, testing her movements. The aches of stretching straight after waking appeared but nothing else troubled her. She brought her legs behind her and stretched her arms out along the trunk wall with a yawn.

She could almost imagine that the last week or so of fever had been a dream except for the empty feeling within her. Like a great deal of her strength had been emptied out. Even so, Petra thought as she rolled her neck, she’d felt a lot worse.

There had been no more physical appearances of anyone since Oluo had appeared. Honestly, Petra supposed she must have been dreaming of him. She’d never encountered ghosts at any point in her life and the fact was that she had been sick and tired back then. Not to mention it hadn’t been too many days since she’d knocked her head. Maybe Oluo was just her brain’s way of trying to cope with it all by having her dream of him.

There had been other moments though. Ones that Petra could only attribute to homesickness and her recent fever. Murmurs and quiet talk around her, usually sounding like someone she knew back home. She could have sworn she had heard Eld whispering a joke to her as she drifted off one night. On another night, she’d heard him grumble about titans. At some point she even heard Oluo calling out to her when she was between naps. None of these encounters had lasted longer than a few minutes though. None of them had featured him.

Petra played with her fingers. It would have been nice to dream of the captain, in night or day. She smiled a little at the thought of seeing him sitting across from her. She wondered how that conversation might have gone. Probably a more direct and no-nonsense take on the conversation she and Oluo had had.

Her heart ached thinking about him. The possibility of never seeing him again invited the urge to cry. She could feel the emotion shooting up her throat and she swallowed it back with some difficulty. She sniffed hard and lifted the back of her hand to her eyes. Don’t give in. You can still make it back to him.

She would take it, Just having the chance to go back and serve under him again. She could learn to be happy with just that because it was so much better than not being back home, with him, her friends and family. She would take what she could have and be grateful. She would never take her home and her job granted again. She wouldn’t let herself. Not after this.

Reaching for her bag of supplies, she eyed the meagre remains with a grim smile. Despite the need for nutrients, she’d been lacking in eating the amount she should during her illness. That would account for the empty feeling and lack of strength. But it did give her the opportunity to fill up a bit now.

“I’ve got to get out of here soon,” she mumbled as she opened up one of her ration bars. Even if supplies allowed, there was little point in staying. If a horse was going to go astray and show up, it would have appeared by now. There was no point in waiting around any further now.

Despite her overall improvement, her appetite remained hesitant and so Petra had to really coax herself to finish the bar. She drained the rest of the water in her canisters too. By the time she’d done all of that, the sun had completely set and dusk was awakening in the forest.

Leaning back against the trunk wall, Petra closed her eyes and welcomed the quiet calm of the forest, taking all the rest that she could for now. She would need to conserve as much energy as she could in the coming days. No taking more chances that necessary. No wasteful expending of supplies. If she could fill up her water tonight and get some more food, she could prepare herself for the journey home. But to gather those supplies, she was going to need to rest up for a bit. Wait for the food benefits to take hold.

She shivered a little at the prospect of going home, of not spending another night in this little hiding hole, of seeing people again, of taking a hot bath and not having to hunt for food. Of not having to look at any titans for a long time.

The food helped considerably and within an hour or so, Petra felt like she had considerable energy and strength to set off for the night.

—————————————————————

It was encouraging to be able to walk through the forest without exhaustion weighing over her like too many blankets, to not feel her energy draining away with just a few steps. The fresh air felt comforting on her face and in her lungs with each breath. She felt almost normal again.

Her hands kept firm grips on her triggers, her eyes watching the shadows. The possibility of encountering wolves didn’t seem nearly as daunting now that she could hold herself upright decently and wasn’t aching all over, wanting to lie down and fall asleep, consequences be damned. If wolves came upon her now, she’d be more ready.

There were, however, a few titans around and most were in the four to seven metre classes. She eyed them as they slumped against the trees, their massive eyes glassy with lifeless energy and immobility. Even with all she knew about titans, Petra still held her distance. She had plenty of blades left but very little gas. She couldn’t afford to engage any now except for any she met on the way back.

The way back, Petra reflected with a smile, that sounds good.

Beyond the immediate vicinity of her sleeping pace, the forest appeared to be clear of the titans. Petra reached the forest pool after a while. Her legs throbbed from the exertion and her shoulder ached from the weight of the bag. Sinking down onto the ground, Petra began to fill up her canisters, regretful of how quickly her body had protested at the exertion. I used to be able to walk for several miles without feeling like this. Now look at me. As she filled up her first empty water canister, she felt a shift in the air near her. Dropping the container and grabbing her triggers, Petra whirled around.

“You’re in bad shape, Petra,” the voice of Gunther spoke as if on the frail breeze drifting among the nearby bushes. “How could you let things get this bad?” A small tutting sound followed by one of his great heaving sighs reached her ears. “You’re already this out of shape just from walking around for a bit?”

Petra’s eyes searched through the dimly illuminated forest. Gunther did not show himself before her like Oluo had. But his voice and the lingering impression of his words still hovered over her. Her pulse began to quicken. How was it she could hear him? Was this all a dream? Was that why she’d felt so pain free? Was her conversation with Oluo all a dream? It had to be, surely. Nothing could bring the dead back.

Petra cupped some water and splashed it over her face, She had to get out of here and soon, if she was losing her sense of what was real and what was not.

“Needing to wake yourself up?”

Once again, Petra’s eyes darted around but Gunther’s words remained just a voice spoken in the empty air. Petra grasped her canister and dipped it into the water to fill it up and disguise the tremor that was beginning in her fingers. She took a breath and capped the water once it was full.

As she started on the next water bottle, Gunther spoke again. “I’m not sure that theres any point, Petra. It’s not likely you’ll make it home, the state you’re in.”

Petra frowned at her reflection in the pool. Granted, she didn’t look her best or even feel it, but still, the stubborn child inside her refused to even entertain the idea of sitting down and waiting for this all to be over. She bit her lip. She wasn’t going to argue with Gunther. He wasn’t really here and he wouldn’t be so discouraging. He may have been tough but he would never advocate giving up. This was just a dream, she was sure of it.

“You’re worse than I thought,” Gunther remarked. “Don’t you remember anything of our survival training? Why did you waste so much gas and food waiting for a horse? You could probably have made it back home overnight. You weren’t that injured.” A heaviness creeps into his voice. “Now you might have screwed your chances.”

Petra bowed her head over the water, closing her eyes.

“Don’t ignore me, Petra,” Gunther chided. “This isn’t a situation where you can afford to be in denial.”

Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

“You’re already alone,” Gunther reminded her, his voice softening, “and that’s doing no good for you. Do you expect to live on memories out here for the rest of your days? Is that how you’ll manage? Really? Come on, Petra!” He spoke louder and Petra shivered from the realness of his voice and the little happy jumps her heart made for hearing his voice again.

It’s a dream. It’s just a dream.

“Petra, please. You need to get yourself together.”

He sounds so real, Petra lamented as she capped that water canister too. She rubbed at her temple while bagging up the canister. Just keep going.

“You’re not dreaming, Petra. But you need to wake up to reality. All this acting like a horse is going to come and save you is a delusion. It’s dangerous, Petra.”

“This isn’t real,” Petra murmured. “You’re not real, You died, I’m just dreaming you up.” She clung to these words with desperation.

Despite this, she couldn’t escape the feeling of how vividly cool the night air felt against her face and how her hands dripped with very real-feeling water. The aches in her legs were worsening from her crouch and she could feel her heart thumping hard in realization.

Ghosts aren’t real, she tried to tell herself, so it has to be a dream. If not what else could it be?

“Petra, snap out of it.” Gunther commanded. “You need to think like a scout. Stop hiding away in this forest. It’s beneath you, Petra. You made Levi Squad for a reason didn’t you? Or have you forgotten about all that?”

Petra flinched, eyes filling with horror. I want to wake up now. I want to wake up now. Please, someone wake me up.

Another shift in the air beside her and Petra heard Gunther sigh. “I guess I’ll be seeing you soon then if you won’t help yourself.”

Petra shook her head and cupped some water in her hands, bringing it to her mouth to drink. “No,” she whispered with quiet determination. “I’m not going where you are,” she muttered. Even so, a tear or two began to slide down her cheek. “I can’t. I can’t go where you are. Not yet.” —————————————————————

Another hour or so of hunting for food supplies was more physically draining than Petra wanted to think about, Not only that but the berries she managed to find were very few. A couple of meagre handfuls that were added to her bag.

It’ll have to do, Petra chided herself.

She wrapped her arms around her chest as the night temperatures lowered around her. She quickened her pace back to the tree. With less titans in the area, it was taking longer to actually locate the clearing in which her temporary home resided. The faster she walked, the more yawns that were dragged from her and unwillingly, she had to slow her pace again when fatigue caught up with her.

She stopped and leaned against a tree, her body sagging against it as she caught her breath. She rubbed at her face, attempting to wake herself up but it only made her arms ache even more with the movement.

Look at the state of me. I’m so weak. She cursed herself. She was hardly fit to be a soldier right now. All of that training back in the Cadet Corps felt like it had deserted her. Like she’d wasted many years of her life.

Fighting back another yawn, she forced herself onward, borderline staggering through patches of silvery moonlight, seeking out the familiar and still gigantic shapes against the trees.

She couldn’t do this again, she knew. She couldn’t spend another night like this. If foraging was going to exhaust her then what chance did she have of making it home? No. She couldn’t leave it any longer.

Seconds and minutes began to blur together along with her vision as exhaustion weighed her down.

Please, she begged, please just give me enough strength to make it home. Who she was praying too, she wasn’t sure. Maybe Maria, Rose and Sin, maybe someone else. Anyone who was out there.

Her stumbling increased and she had to reach out to catch herself on trees. Her already cut hands were scratched even more but the pain refocused her enough to keep on moving. The world blurred to shades of silver and black.

Panic began to seep into her mind. I’m not gonna make it. I’ve overdone it. That’s it. I made a mistake. I’m going to be stuck down here when the titans wake up. Heat twisted inside her chest. She felt her ribcage closing in, stealing her remaining breath as fury burned inside her. You stupid fool! What happened to being on the Scouts’ elite squad? Where has that gotten you now? she wondered as she tumbled down onto the ground.

For some long, terrible seconds, she thought about closing her eyes and giving in to the oppressive need for sleep. Maybe she would be too passed out to be really aware of any titans grabbing her. At least until it was too late. Her tired brain pondered that that may not be so awful. She’d seen people go in worst ways after all.

It was a fair few seconds before she realized that there was pain in her lower left side. Something sharp and thin, digging in there. Lifting herself, she found herself staring at a piece of a fallen tree branch - a very petite and slender piece but with jagged pieces splintering off all over. She rolled herself away from it with a silent curse, rubbing at her side. However, the pain did do one thing to help. It brought her attention back into something resembling focus for a moment and she gazed forward.

Ahead of her lay a clearing. A clearing with some hulking shakes slumped against the trees. Petra squinted and stared at them under the moonlight.

Wait, are those the titans near my…?

Hope blossomed and, reinvigorated by the possibility, Petra dragged herself up onto her feet. She stumbled forwards into a slow walk, advancing closer and closer.

Victory punched her as she stepped out into hear clearing. Her eyes quickly located the markings she’d left under the moonlight. Lifting her gaze, she soon spotted the familiar darkened hole in the tree. Petra exhaled and stepped towards it with determination shining in her exhausted eyes.

This is the last night I spend with you, she promised as she fired her cables once more and flew back up into her hideout. Tomorrow I’m heading for home.

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