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beefrobeefcal · 8 months

Note

Um okay so Javier Peña? Stubborn as fuck. Put on a little weight and he refuses to get new fucking clothes. Thinking season 3 Javier where he has a private office.

Well it’s after a wicked long day, stressful day. His work pants are already tight enough to be bugging him, and he’s sitting at his desk and only him and the receptionist or whatever are still there doing work.

Javier thinks he’s safe - sure he can unbutton his work pants just to catch his breath. He takes a sip of his whiskey and begins to unbutton and unzip his pants - tummy jumping forward - finally able to take a deep breath. He slumps back in his chair and palms his tummy gently, thinking to himself he absolutely either needs to start eating better & drinking less, or give up and buy a new suit.

Only for the receptionist to knock on his door and come in, which Pedro fidgeting to cover his open pants. The receptionist thinks he’s being dirty behind his desk - until they’re getting ready to fuck on their first date and she asks him what all that was about. He has a wicked blush all over his face and neck when he has to admit his pants were squeezing the absolute life out of him.

UNF. Nonnie. We thank thee for this bountiful feast we're about to receive.

Beefro 👌🥩💜

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Beefro proudly presents:

a Chubby!Peña one shot

Javier Peña & his Sweetheart: An HR Nightmare

Pairing: Javier Peña x Fem!Reader (Sweetheart!)

Summary: Javier quit booze, informants, and cigarettes. All he's left with is a pissy mood, food and you.

Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI)

Word Count: 5,748

Content Warning: Smutty smutty smut smut, fingering (f receiving), p in the v - unwrapped (don't be silly, cover you willy, kids!), belly appreciation, ill-fitting clothes, semen on clothing, hard candty throwing

Author's Notes: This is a long time coming. Blessed be the Nonnie who submitted this, and a major special thanks to @rebel-held & @theywhowriteandknowthings who read draft after draft and @neverwheremoonchild & @toxicanonymity for their smutty support. Shout out to the TDS for their unhinge thirst on twitter.

Final draft not beta'd, so enjoy my typos. TA DA!

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Javier Peña was an all or nothing kind of guy. Work? Women? Cigarettes? Booze? He threw himself into them all headfirst, consequences be damned. But as he got older, a new item was added to that list – food.

You were hired as his secretary once he was promoted to the head of the department. You were leery, knowing his reputation for being a womanizer, but he turned out to be moodier than anything else, especially since he quit smoking your first week. While he admired your sharp wit and appreciated your honesty, he rarely showed it. The only time he seemed to be anything other than pissy was when you offered him some of the candy you hid in your desk for him.

Quitting smoking was harder than all Javier’s other habits to break, given it wasn’t just the nicotine that he craved, it was an oral fixation, too. He felt he constantly needed something in his mouth, and you were more than happy to provide him with anything sweet to keep his mood in check.

The long hours he worked in his new position meant that there was little time to sate his other vices; while he did still enjoy whiskey from time to time, the hangover he was graced with when he hit the bottle hard as he got older wasn't worth it. And now that he wasn’t the one with informants, women were not as easily obtainable as they once were.

He went from satiating his boredom and hunger with cigarettes and whiskey to actually eating something in the evenings. Then the snacking throughout the day started.

In short, Javier Peña was coping with food.

The one night that changed everything happened after a particularly grueling day. Meeting after boring meeting, back-to-back all day, he stopped by his favourite take out place, placed a ridiculously large order out of sheer hunger and frustration, and went home with enough food for a family of four. He laid out all the food in front of him and just started to eat. Halfway through, he had to open his pants and unbutton his shirt in order to finish. Once done, he hauled his stuffed belly to bed and slipped into a food coma.

You watched him come in the morning after, looking a little sluggish and slightly bloated. You figured he had tied one off late into the night to blow off steam, but as it happened more often, you knew it wasn’t alcohol or women. He’d slipped up and told someone about this take-out pace that he’d been ordering from, and you put two and two together pretty quicky.

His affinity for take-out and the candy you hid in your desk resulted in his middle filling out. It wasn’t too noticeable at first, but after nearly a year of his new habits, Javier Peña was growing quite the belly. Despite this, he’d refused to change his wardrobe, fairly certain that his new bulk wasn’t that noticeable.

Because of this, Javier sometimes looked like an unmade bed version of himself. Regardless, you desperately wanted to keep feeding him and feel his belly get bigger, among other things.

*****

Javier woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He was craving a cigarette in the worst way, and he was out of gum. All that he had to take his mind off smoking was a pile of leftovers in the fridge. He ate the whole lot, then fought to get his pants done up. Still refusing to acknowledge that he needed to upgrade his wardrobe, he ignored the feeling under his belly as he tightened his belt; he had to suck in his stomach as hard as he could to get the buttons done up on his shirt, and once he relaxed, the buttons were pulling, although not enough to gape or pop. This was becoming an issue more and more often, but Javier was stubborn. He was in a bad enough mood already, and he didn’t want to give a single thought to his clothing.

He stormed into the office and stood in front of your desk, huffing as he reviewed the contents of a file folder. It was your first day back after a three-week holiday and he was impatiently waiting for you to get off the phone. You turned in your chair and smiled coldly at him, and when his eyes went back down to the file, yours wandered down to his middle.

You almost choked and had to hide it in a cough so the person on the other line and Javier wouldn’t ask what was wrong. His already tight pants had become tighter, especially now that the front of his pants had to bow under his belly, and his shirt, while it was buttoned, wasn’t long enough. You could see a sliver of skin peeking out between his belt and the front corners of his shirt. And it took every ounce of strength to not reach out and touch it.

You’d noticed he was filling out a bit more before you left, but his was an entirely new development. Javier eyed you when you coughed, but you continued to pretend to be listening to what the other person was saying while you imagined what you needed to do to get those buttons to pop.

“How was your vacation?”, Javier scowled after you hung up.

“Great. I’m so glad to be back.”, you responded politely.

“Don’t need to lie to me.”, he huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Well, gee, Peña. It’s nice to see you and your mood, too.”, you snarked back. “Looks like you've kept yourself preoccupied.”

You nodded towards his fuller midsection with a smirk, and his face flushed. He stood up straighter and tried to suck in his belly.

You snickered at his attempt to hide the evidence of his decadence. “It’s good to be back and to get your office back on track. I’ve been sifting through all the files that you didn’t bother to deal with the last three weeks.”

He rolled his eyes again as he snarled sarcastically, “I’m so sorry you have to do your job.”

“Jesus, you are in a snit today.”, you sighed, holding up your candy dish. “Here, take the edge off pretend you are actually happy to see me. Maybe then I’ll give you the gift I picked up for you.”

He rolled his eyes and tossed the file folder on your desk and held his hand out for his gift.

“Not if you’re not happy to see me, Peña.”, you warned.

“Fucking tease.”, he muttered, popping a Werther’s caramel into his mouth.

“Oh, did I put you in a worse mood?”, you mockingly pouted, opening a drawer and pulling out a few boxes of chocolate coated macadamia nuts, then stated in a firmer tone, “You be nice today and you might get one of these boxes. Got it?”

He sighed and shook his head, and warned you in a low growl, “Watch it, sweetheart.”

And there it was, that nickname. Sweetheart. One of his subordinates called you that as a joke when you started giving Javier candy to temper his mood, but Javier took it and ran. Anyone else calling you that name caused your temper to flare, but when he did it? Your heart felt like it was trying to jump out of your mouth and flee from the room. You knew he used to be a flirt, and you shouldn’t let it get to you, but being your first day back and the sight you were greeted with, your guard was down. You swallowed hard and nodded back at him, opening one of the boxes and offering him a nut.

*****

The day went quickly for you due to the catch up you were playing all day with the files that needed sorting. Javier spent most of the day in his office, being that his mood was still, well, terrible and his clothes were feeling far too tight; he felt uncomfortable and bitchy. You were in and out, taking and leaving documents from his desk and trying so hard to remain focused on your tasks that you didn’t notice Javier eyeing you up and down at every opportunity. While he was discreet, he allowed himself the chance to check you out, noting the tan that warmed your skin tone, the way your skirt clung to your tight, little frame, and the way your blouse flowed and bounced with your tits. Javier figured that you were not interested in a workplace affair, something he knew all too well the dangers of. That, or you weren't interested in him. He remembered the way your body tensed when he would touch you and brush past you, and the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable and lose you because he was a horny, lonely man. You were too valuable and important to him to take a chance; you were one of the few who was able to put up with him and his attitude. All that and he thought you were fucking hot.

By the end of the night, you’d decided that you were going to leave, get some dinner, then return to finish what you needed to be fully caught up. Assuming that Javier would be gone by the time you returned, you didn’t let him know you would be back.

“Have a good night, Agent Peña.”, you said, popping your head in his office.

He waved you off in a flat tone, not looking up from his file, “Night, sweetheart. Thanks for coming back.”

You rolled your eyes with a sigh and headed out. Javier lifted his head as you turned and watched you leave, his mind wandering to things he knew better than to allow.

With him having more things to get done, he’d organized earlier in the day to have his favourite take-out place deliver his usual order to the office around dinnertime. It arrived soon after you left, and he enjoyed most of the meal in silence, having to undo his belt and pants to accommodate all the food in him. He sat back in his office chair, picking his teeth, hand on his swollen middle.

You’d returned over an hour later, surprised to see a light on in his office.

“Agent Peña?”, you called out, walking towards his office, smelling take-out wafting in the air, figuring he ordered in because he was staying late.

Javier scrambled to sit up and tried not to look guilty while trying to suck in his belly. He tossed some paperwork over what was left of his dinner as you walked into his office, leaning forward in his chair to hide his open pants and looking at his flushed face, knowing you interrupted something.

“Oh... I thought you’d be gone by now.”, you said, leaning against the door frame with a smirk.

“Oh, no... I have some things... I need to get done and...”, he cleared his throat, his middle aching to be let back out. “I decided to stay late. What are you doing back?”

“I have some things I need to do to be caught up for tomorrow, so I came back after dinner.”, you said, trying not to smile even more. His guilty expression and flushed face had you thinking you’d just interrupted him jacking off, but knowing he was more than likely eating at his desk.

He finally had to give in and sit back but he pulled an open file over his lap to hide his open waistband. His belly was pulling his shirt taut across his middle, buttons threatening to give way, and his breathing was heavy.

“Have you eaten yet, Agent Peña?”, you asked coolly with a grin, your eyes scanning down and noting his middle looked fuller. Javier noticed your stare and cleared his throat. He looked at the blush creeping up your body and the look in your eyes, and he felt a rush of uncertainty.

“I got some food already.” he said, trying to keep his tone even.

“Right...”, you nodded with a smile. “You sure you don’t want another chocolate covered macadamia nut? You were being pretty nice to me today…”

“Maybe in a bit. Finish what you need and then maybe...”, he waved you off in a cold tone, desperately wanting to end this awkwardness for himself.

You nodded and turned, sauntering back to your desk. Javier watched you then sighed, letting his belly relax further and push out, his shirt buttons coming dangerously close to popping.

You sat at your desk, trying to concentrate on the files in front of you, but your mind kept slipping back to what he was doing when you walked in. He was filling out that stomach of his even further and you’d caught him. You’d also noticed the way his eyes roamed over you and the matching flush that crept up his face as you stood in his doorway. You smiled to yourself.

Javier sat at his desk and wondered how long you would be. It was a struggle that morning to do his pants up, and now that he was even more bloated and full, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get them done up again. He sat back in his chair and sucked in his belly and tried to get them done up, not realizing how loud his grunting had gotten as he struggled.

You heard him, and you grabbed the open box of chocolates, got up, and went to the doorway. At first, you weren’t sure what you were watching, all you knew was you wanted to be a part of it. It dawned on you that Javier was struggling to get his pants done up, belly heaving and pulling on those poor buttons on his shirt. Catching him in such a vulnerable position had you feeling confident with the upper hand in this situation.

“Need some help, Agent Peña?” You barely recognized the honey-toned voice that came from your mouth.

He sat back up and looked at you while he panted, and his face went red.

“I... uh... I just... fuck.”, he sputtered.

His eyes were wide looking at you, almost pleading, and you swore you were no longer in control of your own body as you walked into his office and around his desk, leaning on it while you faced him.

“You need to get some better fitting clothes, Agent Peña.”, you cooed.

He scowled back at you and huffed, “Sweetheart...”, he said in a warning tone.

“Agent Peña.”, you cooed again. “… your shirt’s getting snug and those pants aren’t happening.”

He eyed you, and from the angle he was sitting at, he could see the swell of your breast between the buttons of your blouse, and he licked his lips. He sat back and looked at you. You raised your brow at him as you saw how distended his belly really was.

“Oh my… you weren’t whistling dixie when you said you already ate.”, you pointed out in a teasing tone, poking him with the box of chocolaty nuts. “You too full or you want some chocolate?”

He looked at you and scowled again, his tone sounding irritated, “Hey! You don’t get to come in here and - “

You cut him off by pushing one of the chocolates in his mouth. He grunted in response but made no move to stop you.

“Don’t get cranky, Peña. I’ll leave you be.”, you cooed and gave him a wink as you got up, tossed the box of chocolate on his desk and walked out of his office. You went back to your desk and collected your jacket and purse.

“See you in the morning, Agent Peña.”, you called out as you walked out the door.

Javier sat at his desk stunned for a few moments. He thought whatever holiday you had brought you back a new woman. He shoved a few chocolates in his mouth and groaned at his full belly and hard, aching cock.

*****

The next few weeks went on as normal; neither of you being brave enough to talk about the events of that evening and acted as though nothing had happened. He continued to delve into his habit with food and you continued to feed him candy and other sweets. It wasn’t until the day before a black-tie event was taking place that Javier brought in his tuxedo for you to take to the dry cleaners.

“Peña are you sure you want to wear this tux?”, you asked in an unsure tone, folding the garment bag over your arm.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”, he asked, not looking up from his desk.

“Well... are you sure it still fits?”, you raised an eyebrow as you asked.

His eyes shot up at you, and he barked, “Yes… Why the fuck wouldn’t it?”

You stared back at him, shaking your head and closing his office door before walking towards his desk.

“Peña. None of your clothes fit anymore.” Your tone was firm and direct.

“What does that mean?! My clothes fit just fine!”, he snapped, a flush creeping over his face.

“Stand up.”, you commanded as you put the garment bag over the back of the chair.

He gave a frustrated groan and huffed, then stood up. You looked him over, seeing the evidence of his food habits clearly around his middle even more than before. His waistband was strained under his protruding middle, and shirt was pulled tight over his belly, gaping between the buttons showing peeks of the undershirt below it.

You walked around the desk and stood in front of him, crossing your arms and giving him an irritated look.

“My clothes fit fine.”, Javier snapped.

“You’re really going to make me do this?”, you asked with a huff.

“Do what?”, he huffed back.

“Agent Peña, the shirt that is currently being pushed to its limit on you right now is a relaxed fit. The tux you want to wear is fitted. There is no way you’re going to get into it.”, you said, stepping forward as if to challenge him.

“It will fit me fine!”, he warned, taking a step towards you. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit!”

“Really? You’re gonna fit this”, you motion towards his belly, “into that tux?”, you spat back, taking another step towards him.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re really treading on thin fucking ice.”, he growled in a low voice, taking one final step towards you.

You were standing close enough that you could feel the heat emanating off of him. You refused to back down, keeping your arms crossed.

“Fine, Peña. Show me. Prove me wrong.”, you challenged him.

“Jesus... sweetheart, you’re a real pain in my fucking ass!”, he growled.

“This pain in your ass is making sure you look presentable tomorrow night, asshole!”, you spat back, dropping your hands to your side and clenching your fists. “Go on. Put it on.”

“Knock it off, sweetheart.”, he warned, glaring at you.

“Or what?”, you challenged, your lips curling in a sneer.

Javier’s eyes narrowed at you. Despite how enraged he was at your insubordination he couldn’t help but look you over: your heaving chest, your pouted lips in a frown, your adorable scowl. Fuck.

You saw his eyes shift over you and you shook your head and laughed, enraging him. You saw the vein in his neck twitch as he clenched his fists.

“Peña, you’re one meal away from popping out of that shirt.”, you sneered with a grin, poking his belly.

“Sweetheart…”, he growled, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards him, your faces inches apart.

Before you can respond, there’s a knock at his door.

“This isn’t over, Sweetheart.”, he hissed as you scowl at him before leaving his office.

The rest of the day goes on with you both casting glances at one another’s direction. Javier occasionally looks at the garment bag you left on the back of the chair, debating whether it would be worth it to prove you wrong.

Finally, after going back and forth in his mind, he sighs and shuts his office door. He grabbed the garment bag and pulled out the jacket, putting it on. Sure, the arms feel a bit tight, as do the shoulders, but it’s nothing too bad. He smiles to himself as he pulls the rest of the tux out.

You sat at your desk, working quietly when you heard his office door close. You didn’t think much of it being more than a private phone call until you looked at your switchboard. His line was open; he wasn’t on a call. Javier was not one to close his door unless he had a reason to; you’d told him his mood was enough of a closed door to keep people out and he laughed, agreeing with your observation.

You thought better than to interrupt him and went back to work. Twenty minutes later, you got a page on your intercom.

“Yes, Agent Peña?”

“Get in my office. Now.”, he barked over the intercom.

You felt your mouth go dry, and the other people in the vicinity looked nervously away from you. You hesitated and cleared the documents from your desk.

You heard him bark “FUCK!” through the walls of the office, then his voice roared over the speaker again. “Get in my fucking office!”

You turned off the intercom and grabbed a bag of candy from your desk drawer – just in case – and headed to his office.

You knocked quietly at the door before you let yourself in. You saw the tux on the floor in front of his desk and Javier sitting with a face like a thunderclap behind his desk in his chair. His clothes looked like he’d thrown them on quickly, with his dress shirt being unbuttoned to show his white undershirt and tie open around his shoulders.

“So… should I ask what happened?”, you questioned with a slight nervous tone at his dangerous-looking mood.

“Just… goddammit… fuck!”, he barked as he stood up. “Where the fuck is the candy?!”

“Oh my god, Peña!”, you yelled exasperated, whipping a hard candy from the bag in your hand at him. It hit him in the chest and bounced down to his desk.

“Did you just throw that at me?!”, he roared, suddenly seeming a lot more aggressive and intimidating than he’d ever been.

Your eyes went wide, realizing that you literally hucked a piece of candy at your boss.

“Shit…”, you murmured to yourself.

“Agent Peña, I…”, you started to apologize but his attitude made you rethink it, snapping at him, “Yes! Yes, I did throw candy at you!”

You both stare at each other again, and he looks like he’s going to fly into a rage at any moment.

“Jesus, you’re a fucking brat.”, he growled.

Looking at him indignantly, figuring you were already going to receive a demerit or worse, be fired. “No more than you are, you fucking asshole!”, you laughed nastily, sitting in one of the armchairs across from him.

His eyes raged like wildfire as he stared down at you sitting casually on the other side of the desk.

“Watch. Your. Mouth.”, he growled, pointing at you.

“No, you watch it, Peña.”, you smirked, enjoying this more than you should.

He stomped around the desk and stood in front of you. His stomach pulling his undershirt taut enough to see the indentation of his belly button in the stretched fabric. God, what you wouldn’t give to run your hands over it...

“You’re really trying my last fucking nerve, sweetheart.”, he said in a low, menacing growl.

“I think you’re just hungry, Peña…”, you cooed mockingly with a curled lip, deciding to go for broke. “You should eat something. Really make sure you don’t fit into that tux.”

“You’re so fucking mouthy…”, he growled again.

As much as he wanted to deny it, when you looked at him like that, it set his chest on fire and made his dick hard. It reminded him of the stress relieving properties of casual sex and made him imagine what he would do to get you whimper and cry out his name. All this because his tux didn’t fit, and he really wanted a fucking cigarette… and he really wanted you.

“So what? You know I’m right. You been eating real well, haven’t you, Peña. Too well even…”, you purred in response, looking at his belly with a raised brow. His glare grew darker.

You unwrapped one of the candies from the bag. “Here, have your candy.”, you cooed, holding it out to him.

He paused as he scowled at you, refusing to allow you the upper hand. He leaned forward, putting his hands to the arms of the chair, his face was dangerously close to yours. You could smell the fruit punch Lifesavers on his breath and your heartbeat in your throat, your cunt clenched.

“I’m not going to tell you again, sweetheart.”, he said in a low, dangerous voice. “Watch your mouth.”

You looked up at him through your lashes. “Or what?”, you breathed out, voice shaky.

He tightened his mouth and narrowed his eyes at you. “I’m gonna have to do something about that attitude of yours.”

You sucked in a breath, trying to retain your composure. You didn’t want him knowing he could have this kind of control over you, and you growled back, “Fuck you, Peña … you fat, fucking – “

He yanked you out of your chair and pushed you face down on his desk. You let out a yelp as one of his hands held you down at the base of your neck and the other hiked up your skirt around your waist.

You let out a moan, “Peña… Peña!”

“So fucking tired of you… parading this tight little body around the office… you’re a fucking tease… a mouthy, fucking tease… just begging to be fucked…”, he snarled as his fingers deftly pushing your soaked panties to the side and ran a finger through your folds.

“Oh… oh fuck you, Peña!”

He leaned forward and huskily snarled in your ear as he ripped his tie off his shoulders and shoved it in your mouth, then Javier grabbed your knee and lifted it onto his desk, opening you up further to him.

“You call me Javi when I’m gonna fuck you, sweetheart.”

He plunged a finger into you then quickly added another, thumb pressing your clit. The expertise of his fingers, the only sounds in the room were your cries muffled by the silk tie and the vulgar, wet sounds he was pulling out of your sopping cunt.

“That’s right, sweetheart… that shut your smart mouth up… you’re so fucking wet… Jesus, baby… that’s it… pussy’s been begging for me… so fucking tight… so fucking needy… listen to yourself… fucking pathetic that all I had to do was bend you over my desk and finger fuck you… and you finally shut up… finally do what I say… and not give me so much fucking grief… maybe I shouldn’t let you come…”.

You were close, but the spell was broken when he removed his fingers and hissed a cruel laugh, and you were furious. Catching him off guard, you pushed your body up and turned quickly, shoving him back. He fell into the armchair with a grunt.

“What the fuck?!”, he roared, moving to try and get up.

You brought your heeled foot to his chest and shoved him back down, ripping the tie from your mouth and throwing it on the desk.

“Sit, Peña.”, your voice low and commanding.

He let out a shaky breath and a low groan. The look he gave you was feral and challenging, and as he raised his hand to hold your ankle as if to test how much in control you really were.

“Sweetheart,”, he crooned dangerously, sitting forward and pushing against your foot. “You call me Javi when I – “

“Fuck you, Peña…”, you snapped, pushing him back once more with your foot.

He let out a dark laugh, and you dragged your heeled foot down his front, over his belly, to sit on the chair right in front of his sizable bulge in his dress pants. You nudged your foot forward gently, and Javier let out a breathy grunt and eye briefly fluttered. You raised an eyebrow and put your foot against his belly and pushed in slightly.

“Fucking cuck…”, you sneered. “Getting soft and round, Peña. Gonna keep you fat and docile… gonna - ”

He glared darkly at you and huffed out a grunt, grabbing your ankle harshly and shoving it away, causing you to fall backward against his desk, and he stood up.

Towering over you, he grabbed your thigh and hoisted you to sit on his desk, then moved a hand to the back of your neck, gripping your hair. His eyes looked black as his face came close to yours.

“I’m your fucking boss… I tell you what to do… don’t ever forget that, sweetheart.”, he growled through gritted teeth before he pushed his mouth on yours in a punishing kiss.

You grabbed his shoulders and matched his ferocity. Teeth, tongues, messy, feral, wet.

Both of you began to melt into each other’s mouths, your rage slipping into passion, into need. You grabbed at one another, not getting enough out of it, needing more connection. Bringing your hand down between your bodies, palming his belly. Feeling the softness covering the firm weight he was carrying around made you moan into his mouth as he sucked in a breath. Your hand moved further down and gripped his crotch.

Your closed eyes felt like they were going to roll back in your head with what you felt in your hand: heavy, thick, and hard, his cock felt divine. He grunted and pulled back and both of you were breathing heavily. You opened your eyes, and his face was still feral, but his eyes were softer.

“Peña…”, you moaned. “Fuck me…”

He let out a shaky chuckle and moved a to open your blouse buttons with one hand, then palmed your lace-clad tit.

“You know your manners… ask me again nicely… come on, sweetheart… not Peña, baby… you beg Javi to fuck you… beg me…”, he grunted as he rutted against your hand and slipped his hand under your lacy bra, teasing your nipple.

“Oh, fuck… Peña… Javi… please… please…fuck me, Javi… please… need – fuck! – need you… please fuck me…”

Pulling his hand out, he stood back and hoisted you back onto the desk.

“So needy… so fucking good when you remember your place, sweetheart…”, he purred.

You reached out and slid your hands down, lifting his belly slightly to unbuckle his belt and then his pants, his eyes never leaving yours. When his cock sprung free, hitting the underside of his stomach, you let out a small whimper.

“You gonna be quiet, sweetheart?... or you gonna run your mouth while I fuck you?... huh?... or will I be too much for your pretty pussy to handle?”, he grunted as you spat in your hand and began to stroke him. “Do I have to stuff your fucking mouth again?”

You were about to talk back, but his raised eyebrow with his hand fisting his cock was enough to leave you just shaking your head.

“Good girl.”

He kissed you roughly, pulling your hand off him. He pushed your panties to the side and rubbed the head of his cock through your folds. You panted a whimper, and he began to push into you. You cried out and his hand went over your mouth.

“I know, I know… you can take it, sweetheart… come on, baby… take it all… fuck… relax, sweetheart… so fucking tight… oh jesus… take it… take it… oh baby girl… yeah, honey… that’s it…”

When he was fully seated in you, he panted and grunted, trying to compose himself. You held onto his shoulders while he gripped your hips. Javier began to rock into you, slowly at first, then picked up speed. You cried out and his eyes watched out from under heavy lids as his mouth curled into a lupine sneer.

“Tell me, sweetheart… tell me… how bad you needed this… tell me… fuck… I needed you so fucking bad… always looking so good… so pretty… god… wanted you so bad… needed you, sweetheart…”

“Javi… the first time you – oh fuck! – first time you called me sweetheart… I was fucked… I was yours… oh god, Javi!... keep going – fuck oh fuck! – right there…yes… yes…oh god… yes…… oh god… pl-please… J-Javi… need… fuck… so full…”

“Sweetheart… baby… wh-where do you want me?”

“On the pill… come in me… Javi… fucking come in me.”

He kissed you hard and your orgasm came crashing down hard. The grip your cunt had on him made him feel like you were choking his cock, and he threw his head back and let out a strangled grunt, chasing his own release.

He groaned and his thrusts became more sporadic. He came with a few husky grunts, and you fell back on the desk, Javier on top, both of you panting. His weight was pressing you down hard, your combined release was slipping out onto his desk and to the tuxedo on the floor.

“Peña…”, you panted after a few moments. “Peña… need you to get up.”

He huffed a laugh and moved off you with a groan.

He helped you up, and you both began to fix your clothing. Javier flopped into his desk chair and popped a candy into his mouth. You put his errant tuxedo back into the garment bag.

“Peña,”, you smiled. He looked up at you, his eyes warm in his post-coital haze.

You dropped the garment bag over the armchair and walked around his desk. He turned his chair to look at you and you sat sidesaddle on his lap. His hand came up to your waist.

“About the tux…”

He shook his head and pressed a kiss to your decolletage. “I know… I know, sweetheart.”

You nodded and leaned into him, running your hands over his belly with your head on his shoulder.

“I mean, I can’t wear a cum-stained tuxedo to this gala…”

“Jesus, Peña! No you can’t wear a tux that doesn’t fit you!”

You pushed on his belly, and he laughed out loud.

Read the Mini-Scene requested by @toxicanonymity here

--------<3----------

@theywhowriteandknowthings @harryleatherfit @harriedandharassed @neverwheremoonchild @rebel-held @beee-haw @nevergoingbacknowshine @idolatrybarbie @v4vayha @lalocitos @xdaddysprincessxx @deathsholywaterr @heareball @lyssramscal @wintrwinchestr

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 12 days

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04/17/24 Daily OFMD Recap

== Nathan Foad ==

More pictures of Nathan in Love's Labours Lost!

== Kay Buchanan ==

Our friendly neighborhood OFMD Master Leather Worker has more pictures for us! This time, maybe Black Pete's bag? Anyone know off hand?

SRC: Kay Buchanan's IG

== Taika ==

So these pictures are adorable, but be warned of a potential jump scare if you watch the rest of the video-- thank you @ofmd-ann for the awesome stills, I did NOT want to put the full video on here xD See her post here.

(via Ritas tiktok)

== Lesley Fucking Jones ==

== Vico Ortiz ==

Sneaky shot of Vico from behind <3 Img Src: @enbybruje's IG

== Dominic Burgess ==

Technically this would be Cats & Crew but I'll allow it because Dominic is such a friggn adorable cat dad and he deserves so much love for that.

Src: Dominic's Twitter

== Watch Parties ==

= Flight of the Conchords =

Bit of an adjustment at least on the RhysDarbyFaction discord server for FotC watch party, we'll be watching 3 episodes a piece Thursday and Friday so as not to run into the next week. Continues tomorrow with episodes 5, 6, 7, of season 2 at 4pm PT / 7 pm ET / 11pm BST

#FlagOfTheConchords

#OurFlagMeansDeath

= Palm Royal Season 1 =

A new watch party hosted by @lcwebsxoxo on twitter is up and running! Thursday Episodes 3 and 4 will be playing at 1 pm PT / 4 pm ET / 9 pm BST

#PalmRoyale

#OurFlagMeansDeath

#SaveOFMD

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Tonight's cast card features the other fisherman (Pedro Lope) that Stede robbed on his first "raid". We're gonna have a whole set of cards soon I can feel it @melvisik, thank you for these!

= TealOranges & Garlic Soup Week 2024!! =

Prompts are up for this years TealOranges & Garlic Soup Prompt Week! The week will run June 23-29, 2024 with themes and prompts for each day! This prompt week celebrates all things Jim/Oluwande and Archie/Jim/Oluwande/Zheng!

Plain Text for Prompts

Additional Information & FAQ

This Years AO3

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies-- I've had 3 hrs sleep today so the words on the screen are starting to run together. I'm still getting love notes from yesterdays request, and thank you so much, I promise i'm catching up to the messages, you all are the best crew someone could ask for. Thank you for spreading some joy in this crazy ass world.

Tonight I would like to send a reminder that we have not lost OFMD, as so many of said, we still have 2 wonderful seasons, and those boyfriends are currently boinking their way into oblivion in their inn, making their poor customers insane. But beyond that... had a discussion today with multiple dear friends / crewmates that made me feel a lot better about the whole thing too. I know it's months in the gravy basket now, but this is not the end for OFMD. Chaos Dad told us it was over, but in all honesty it still doesn't feel over. WBD is driving itself into the ground, Dad's been off at the WBD lot, it feels like things are moving in a better direction again. It may not be today, or tomorrow, or even the next few months, or a year or so, but I think we still have a chance to see the ending of our story.

And we've all said it before, but it bears repeating, even if it never happens, we get to make it happen. Stede and Ed live on in all our crazy ranges of work out there, that so many of you have been just CRANKING out lately, I've been astonished at how much new work I've seen from folks in the the fandom I know, and new folks I haven't met! It's so inspiring to see OFMD affect people so much that they felt they could put little pieces of themselves out into the world through art of all mediums.

I hope I'm making sense at this point.. if not, sorry about that! But know-- there's always hope. There's always S1 and S2, and the infinite universes we get to dream up from those two.

Rest Well lovelies. Img Src: @Chucklesandbleu on IG

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's theme - Bowties!

Gifs Courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome and @sam-reid!

#daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #taika waititi #kay buchanan #nathan foad #vico ortiz #dominic burgess #ofmd #our flag means death #save ofmd #long live ofmd #adopt our crew

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wannab-urs · 7 months

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The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 21

Howdy darlin'

Welcome to the 21st Spreadsheet Digest. If you're new here, this is every fic I read this week, each with a little summary and my unhinged thoughts about it. This week we have 24 fics!! It's a lot because I decided to try to read one fic each from "small writers" that were recc'd on this list. I obviously didn't get all the way through the list, but I plan to continue this week! (I also read a few other things)

As always, you can find the original Spreadsheet here and all my previous fic recs here. Here is my masterlist and my kofi, if you feel so inclined.

Fic recs below the Pedro (and Nik) <3

Hotel Hobbies - a Jack series by @loversandantiheroes

Guys, friends, my loves, listen. Whiskey gets tied up!!! Ok so like the summary is that you're at a hotel for a conference and you meet a cocky cowboy at the bar and then some stuff happens and then the next night some not canon but canon typical stuff happens to Whiskey and that influences the next bit of fun stuff that happens between you two and... holy fucking shit dude this is HOT.

Sundown - a Joel one shot by @bageldaddy

You live in a trailer park and Joel moves in to the trailer across from yours. You're a young woman living on your own and he's old and doesn't really seem to have family. You get close and.. ya know. Listen... I love the way this fic captures the place they're in? Like as a kid who grew up in a trailer and in a tiny town in bumfuck nowhere, I felt very connected to the location of this fic and I loved how it was depicted. Stuff like changing out the skirting of the trailer is nostalgic to me lol. But then also just the way Joel is characterized here? And don't get me started on the smut. (babes there's somno in here!! and also realistic depictions of trying to fuck Joel "Monstercock" Miller). This fic made me happy idk.

Tease - a Javi P one shot by by @amanitacowboy

Javi forgets his lunch at home and you decide to take it to him at work... wearing nothing under your dress. So Javi decides to tease you and sends you home to wait for him and you're not allowed to touch yourself while you wait... but then of course you break the rules just to get him riled up and... he gets very riled up. This is so hot. Like the smut is filthy, but you can also tell how much they love and care about each other throughout the whole thing. Incredible <3

You're a Mansion With a View - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

Daddy Joel takes really good care of his baby. That's it. That's the fic. And it is everything. I love Katy's dark fics with all my heart, but I think Daddy!Joel might be my favorite

Frankie and Din - a Frankie/Din one shot by @avastrasposts

This is so fucking funny and adorable. I love it so much. Basically Din and the N1 show up at Frankie's airfield and Frankie wants to test drive the N1, but Din is the way he is. Listen... it's like grumpy x sunshine but like they're not fucking? But hear me out. Part two.... I'm just saying. Din doesn't let just anyone pilot his ship.

An HR Nightmare - a Javi P one shot by @beefrobeefcal

Chubby Javi P!!! I speak from experience... quitting smoking will do it to ya. I love grumpy chubby Peña so fucking much. Silly stubborn man. You are his secretary and you love watching his tummy round out and you feed him hard candy and other sweets all the time. The ending too... Damn. Two words, friends: office sex. And it is glorious.

The Riding Lesson - a Jack one shot by @bluestar22x

You're a new trail guide at a ranch and Jack gives you a lesson on how to ride western! I know absolutely nothing about horses or how to ride them or anything, but this was still lovely to read! It's got a cute bit of flirting with the pretty cowboy and is overall just very cute and lovely.

Stages of Grief - a Joel one shot by @bonezone44

This is for all of us who have shitty families lol. You finally come to terms with the fact that your family fuckin sucks and Joel helps you through it. If you've ever fantasized about a gorgeous man loving you through a mental breakdown, this will be delightful for you (me lol). I really adored this. It hit home and I loved the message and I loved how understanding and firm Joel was in it.

The Angel in Me - a Dieter one shot by @chaoticgeminate

Dieter Bravo as an angel? Never expected that. He's in training and he gets put on gate duty when he meets you (gn!reader bc you get to pick when you get to heaven i think?). You were a fan of Dieter Bravo back on Earth and you very happily give him a blowjob in thanks for uhhhh something. Spoilers. This is hot and kind of sweet? Dieter is the king of being a little depraved in the sweetest ways ugh.

Acting Out - a Din one shot by @cool-iguana

Din goes on a hunt and you decide to tease him over the comm link, breaking the rules not to touch yourself and driving Din absolutely crazy. When he gets back he punishes you. Bruh... light daddy kink, spanking, bondage, edging, little bit of overstimulation... this fic has it all. And then the aftercare is also so sweet? I'm so obsessed with this

For the Love of Horror - a Dieter series by @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist

So you start dating Dieter and you're a horror film nerd. Dieter, however, is a scaredy cat. Absolutely terrified. This is like... a loosefit series, but this is the first one and it's cute all by itself (although I obviously recommend reading the rest of them too). There's flirting and nerding out over movies and Dieter being adorable. It's perfect tbh.

The Vagabond Gladiator - a Joel series by @dark-scape

Gladiator!Joel!!!!!!! He's a vagabond and he shows up with The Innocent, a young virgin (Ellie) desitined to be sacrificed to save the city. You are a Vestal Virgin, sworn to protect the city and also to be pure. This series does such a good job of taking elements from canon and blending them into this AU. It's a really interesting read -- I was fuckin riveted -- and the smut is... so fuckin good.

Dangerous Games - a Din one shot by @decembermidnight

You hide under the kriffing table at the cantina on Nevarro and give Din the bj of his life while he talks to Karga and it's hot as fuck and also a little funny bc he's like trying to keep his cool and not doing a good job of it. And then obviously he cannot let this stand so he drags your ass back to the ship and fucks you stupid. Dom!Din is sooooo hot ugh. This fic is incredible. 10/10

My Brother's Keeper - a Joel series by @diversemediums

So this is the first chapter of a series that I am so so excited to read. You were Tommy's gf in the QZ and he when he decided to leave, you didn't go with him. Tragically... you find out you're pregnant 3 months after he leaves. So you seek out Joel and he comforts you and he's so fucking soft and sweet, but still in that gruff mean QZ!Joel way lol and he's lowkey down bad for reader but she doesn't know that. I seriously cannot wait for more.

The Parents That Are Left - a Joel one shot by @frenchiereading

Joel had this patrol partner, Iris, who he adored. She was kind of like a daughter? Not in the Ellie way and def not in the Sarah way, but he really cared about her. Anyway she died. And this fic is him going to visit her mom (not romantic btw). This is just such a beautiful, painful portrayal of grief and a wonderful little snapshot of two people who lost their kids bonding over their tragedies. I love it so much.

Boss - a Javi P series by @guess-my-next-obsession

JAVI P IS FUCKING HIS BOSS AND YOU'RE THE BOSS???? What's not to like man

Salty Caramel - a Jack one shot by @iamskyereads

Guys, friends, my loves, my darlings. It's an Agent Whiskey sex pollen/fuck or die fic. Like. This is devastatingly hot. This is everything my depraved little brain has ever wanted.

My Girl Now - a Joel one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Your boyfriend is a fucking asshole who is super controlling and just genuinely the worst and he hired Joel to redo your kitchen. Joel is soft and sweet and wonderful and makes you feel lovely.... and then he absolutely rails you on camera, has you call him Daddy, he says all kinds of mean shit to your bf, etc. And then your petty ass actually sends it to the motherfucker. Perfect. No notes. This is amazing.

A Piece of Cake - a Frankie one shot by @idolatrybarbie

Frankie is your ex and you see him at the bowling alley and have to contemplate like... why you broke up and you remember the good times and shit and it hurts. Bea likes to hurt my feelings.

No Entendemos - a Frankie/Santi one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

You're lost in the street in Italy and come upon two dudes who don't seem to speak English and try to ask them for a phone to use to call your friends. You are not aware that Frankie and Santi, who are going to try to get their money from that one heist back, def speak English. You're also caught off guard by what happens next... TW NONCON.... I'm in love with the dynamic between Frankie and Santi. The way Santi is this dark driving force, pushing Frankie to do fucked up shit. And Frankie has lost so much already in his life because of this dude, I think he's given up on trying to be good.

A Good Friend to Have - a Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

YOOOO okay Kel's fucking boyfriend wrote this fic. You help your friend get away from the big scary bounty hunter by distracting him. You tell him you'll give him information if he does what you ask.... Friends this is dub con (for Din, not reader), sub!Din, with helmet riding, orgasm denial, and edging and a little (creed based) blasphemy. It's so hot.

Blood Money - a Dave/Max P series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You are a bookkeeper for the fuckin vampire mafia and they keep you naked and chained in a basement, barely fed or hydrated. You get rescued though! Yay! Oh shit you get rescued by more vampires. You think this will be a bad thing but it... actually doesn't seem like it's gonna be all that bad. I have a little BTS knowledge and am delighted to tell you that this is eventual Reader x Max x Dave. Y'all know I love a throuple... and now we're adding in vampires. Excellent.

Whatever's on Tonight - a Joel one shot by @inthe-dark-tonight

You go on a little get away vacation with Joel and... fuck in the hot tub. This is pure porn but it is also so soft and sweet and perfect? Joel is an angel man and I want to kiss his perfect forehead. I love this.

Fucking Your Best Friend's Brother - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

You're hanging out with Tommy and Joel for Christmas. Tommy is your best friend and he has a massive crush on you. You're not into him though, you're into his brother. Joel notices this and decides to do something about it. Mean Joel, super hot dom!joel. Slapping and spitting and all the good shit. This is fucking amazing.

-------------------------

I also wrote a lil fic this week!

Red Right Hand - a Max Phillips one shot by meeee

This is a follow up to I Bite Back, but you don't need to read that first. It can stand alone and you won't be confused. Sub!Max Phillips x vamp!Dom!reader <3

------------------------

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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morallyinept · 5 months

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A full transcribe of MAX PHILLIPS' dialogue/lines from the film BLOODSUCKING BASTARDS.

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:

Hey Evan!

__________________

Question. What do we sell here?

No, Michael. We sell dreams.

Sales is… seduction. And when you seduce, do you say I have a 401k? Or I floss? No. You say, I love you. Because people make decisions from the heart. You want to sell a bunch of useless crap to fat losers in Alabama and bored housewives in Iowa, feed their dreams. Convince them. Their lives can transcend the pointless slog of being human. Give them hope. Open their eyes to something… bigger. Sink your teeth into their poor, pathetic lives, and give them life. And better abs.

Our goal for this month is… one million dollars in sales. It’s aggressive, yes. I’m confident we can hit it. And if we don’t, Ted and I have already agreed we’ll be forced to kill all of you.

__________________

Thank you, Gerry.

Are those the employee files I requested?

Listen, Amanda. I know you and Evan have a history, and I know that you care about him.

Sure, sure, sure, tell you what. After I settle in, you and I can schedule some one-on-one and get to know each other.

Hey, buddy! Just had a little HR talk. Thanks, Mandy, we’ll circle back round.

Long time no see, am I right?

Listen, Evan. I know you and I had a little falling out. But as far as I’m concerned, water under the bridge. Ancient history. ‘Cause it’s all about the company now, right?

Knew I could count on you.

__________________

We’re going to get this place lean and mean, Theodore. We're gonna need to separate the meat from the talent. We’re gonna-

Evan, Evan. Slow down! What’s up now?

Ted, call security.

Evan, this isn’t some way of stalling on the Fallowcite presentation, is it?

We’re counting on ya, slugger.

__________________

Dave, right?

I hear you're the guy to talk to about office pools. Company’s sports zsar.

Oh yeah?

Oh, nonsense. Morale is vital to the health of any company. And you make an important contribution. Let’s pop into my man cave and you can give me the Vegas tips on NBA playoffs and dirt on upcoming events, you know, man stuff.

__________________

Oh gosh, buddy, that hurts my feelings. I'm sure Amanda is great in a crisis, but don’t you think this call is more suited to 911?

I just devoured her… fabulous Osso Bucco! Who knew she was such a demon in the kitchen? Absolutely open another bottle, as long as it’s red!

Do I hear banging? On your end, I mean. There’s no banging happening here, yet.

It’s Evan calling to tell us he’s absolutely crushing the Fallowcite presentation for tomorrow. Do you wanna talk to him?

Sorry, buddy, you’re stuck with me.

I think you better focus on your own problems, bro. But I’ll give Amanda your best. Actually, I’ll give her mine. It’s better.

Where are we, is the more pertinent question?

You… have beautiful eyes.

Don’t I know it...

__________________

Ted. Ted, Ted. Let’s not be hasty. Andrew finished the job, but Evan laid down the groundwork. Look at this poor fella. He was just passed over for a promotion, he slept in the supply closet and he smells like a dead worn hooker. He’s just having a rough patch. Let’s give him a pass on this one, ‘kay?

__________________

Poor, poor, Elaine. All ginger and no joy.

Yes, you do! I want you… ssh.

You all are.

__________________

Corporate was threatening to shut down the entire branch, I simply presented Ted with an alternative.

After your little stunt in college, the only school that would take me was this university in Romania. But it turns out, it had a very unique MBA programme. Whole new paradigm in business management.

That is the worst part of this job! Firing people.

It’s true, Amanda. You gotta start working on your stubbornness if you wanna be a part of the team.

Is that so?

Oh. Okay. Well, show yourselves out.

Bye, gang.

__________________

Oops.

Oh no, no, no, no, no. I need you to learn how to delegate.

Not if you kill them first, people. Learn how to take the initiative if you don't want me to micro manage!

No, it’s a balancing act, to be sure.

Well don’t worry about it. It’s mostly marketing.

Still, a good manager knows when his staff is getting overextended. Be a dear and call downstairs for me, would ya?

Yeah feel free, make yourself at home.

Who am I going to get to stock the supply closet now?

Ehh. I’ll make more.

Not in the slightest.

Oh honestly, guys. Did you really think it was going to be that easy?

Oh come on! You think I'd attempt to take over this entire company without consulting Legal first?

Amanda? A private word with you in my office, please.

Hey, remember when I did this to your girlfriend in college without using supernatural powers?

Evan, you can go home for the day. Frank. You can die.

__________________

Oh, hey pal! I was just about to turn your girl and fuck her on Ted’s desk.

Sorry, hahaha, my desk.

Amanda. You need to focus on your job. HR is going to be swamped with all the new hires we’re going to need.

My management style is effective! And refreshing.

Evan. Do you remember what I said we sell here?

Yeah. That was bullshit. We sell fear.

Our customers are afraid. Afraid that life is passing them by, which to be fair, it is. And that is why you are perfect for this place, because you are a coward!

You were afraid to tell Amanda you love her because of why? Because you work together? Because she earns more than you?

You didn’t even have the balls to quit when this incompetent turd passed you over for the guy you hate most on the face of the earth. You are so afraid of life, haha, that you actually want to be sales manager in this shit hole!

We are trying to have a conversation!

And I’m not gonna change you. That’s right. I’m gonna keep you alive and stuck in this pathetic, pointless job from now until the day you die.

This suit is bespoke!

Sharing the desk with the photo printer whilst I stay young with the woman you love, immortal at my side!

Yeah. Yeah. That’s the way it works.

__________________

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

#max phillips #pedro pascal #PPCU #pedro pascal characters #max phillips bloodsucking bastards #bloodsucking bastards #max phillips dialogue

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fuck-julian · 10 months

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BALLISTER BOLDHEART DOES NOT LOOK LIKE PEDRO PASCAL

Seeeeee! They dont look alike! He literally looks like his voice actor.

LIKE THE EYES! LOOK AT THE EYES! HR IS LITERALLY BALLISTER

#nimona #ballister boldheart

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tessa-quayle · 11 months

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spotlight on the OFC

(fanfiction recommendations) :)

the reader insert, the second person, the y/l/n convention (which, for me, can disrupt the text and i haven’t gotten used to it - not criticizing those who do it - i'm the problem, it’s me 🤪) are all the rage in fanfiction. i get the immersive appeal, and many of the fics i love and enjoy employ the second person.

richly drawn original characters draw me in and capture my attention. I appreciate how creative folks get with their OFCs, the headcanons, and how they have fun showing off these OFC’s quirks and strengths and interior lives and histories. it’s a joy to read.

here are a few great OFCs in the Pedro Pascal Character universe. the stories are engaging and this is a fairly diverse list of OFCs (by that I mean race/ethnicity, life experience, nationality, disability). as always, each author issues their own warnings.

listed in alphabetical order by writer:

@iamskyereads - Ezra (Prospect) x OFC Beatrice

ongoing series (Compulsion). love the sci-fi world-building in the first chapter. Beatrice is a sharp and compelling protagonist who’s suffered a traumatic brain injury and has PTSD.

@intheorangebedroom - Frankie (Triple Frontier) x OFC Gabrielle

complete series (Pleased to Meet You). angsty intercontinental love story between everyone’s favorite pilot and a cool French woman. the descriptions of different cities are vivid.

@jazzelsaur - Frankie (Triple Frontier) x OFC Ellie

complete series (Between the Raindrops). the slow burn here is a smolder in the best sense. Elliot (Ellie) is a widow who lives next door to Frankie. the weight of grief and angst in this series is remarkable.

@jomiddlemarch - Joel (The Last of Us) x OFC Grace

loose-fit series (On Call for the Apocalypse). crossover with Ted Lasso. set in Jackson WY between seasons 1 and 2, Grace is a snarky doctor (scratch a cynic, find a romantic) hanging out with Joel and Ellie (format better on AO3)

@julesonrecord and @lunapascal ( @stardustandskycrystals) - Dieter (the Bubble) x OFC Andie

ongoing series (Curls). we’re rooting for Dieter and Andie amid all the drama and shenanigans surrounding a pregnancy and a wedding. this reads like a novel you finish in one sitting.

@ladamedusoif - Mr Ben (SNL) x OFC Lydia

ongoing series (Visiting). Lydia is a European art historian who goes to teach at an East Coast liberal arts college and meets the dashing Mr Ben. delightful and smart (and I'm not just describing Mr Ben).

@radiowallet - Marcus (We Can Be Heroes) x OFC Amy

ongoing series (Eyes Open). Single parents Marcus and Amy find love in the workplace, HR be damned. Amy contains multitudes and the portrait of her as a mother is especially real and sweet.

@whatsnewalycat - Din (Mandalorian) x OFC Charlie

ongoing series (Passenger). Gritty, dark, cool AU where Din Djarin is a trucker/bounty hunter and Charlie is making her way west. this fic has a lot of postmodern energy.

@yespolkadotkitty - Pero (Great Wall) x OFC Jade

complete series (Fighting Blind). Fun, winsome adventure between a museum curator and our favorite Spanish warrior. Love the time-travel element, the nod to the Asian diaspora, and the rich world-building. This series is stay-up-past-your-bedtime reading.

feel free to share your fic recs and favorite OCs/OFCs (your own and/or others)! ❤️

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pasquines · 1 year

Link

#Congress #Puerto Rico #Status #Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez #Bipartisan Infrastructure Bill #Bruce Westerman #Contextomy #House Committee on Natural Resources #House of Representatives #HR 2757 #Inflation Reduction Act #Jenniffer González-Colón #Nydia Velazquez #Olympics #Pedro Pierluisi #Power 4 Puerto Rico #Puerto Rico Status Act #Raul Grijalva #Senate

0 notes

olderthannetfic · 10 months

Note

For the past few months, I've watched the Pedro Pascal craze take over the internet without getting it.

Sure, he's a decently looking man, but he looks older than his age (I was shocked to discover that he's younger than my mom) and I couldn't stand that a lot of the people lusting after him were praising him for never having assaulted a woman before (that's literally the bare minimum. Idk how people think it's deserving praise. The bar fell through the floor).

And then I decided to watch The Last of Us, and got to episode 8. Without spoilers, that episode has a plotline in which Ellie, the girl he's travelling with, and Joel, Pedro Pascal's character, are separated and find each other again after escaping their own dangerous situation. Ellie is running around in a panic and Joel manages to catch her, and hr hugs her and calls her "baby girl."

And like... yeah. Now I get it. Yeah. My fault for not seeing it before.

Btw, can y'all tell I have daddy issues?

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cevans-is-classic · 10 months

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18+ only! Sexual content, blood, death, questionable morals when Max is involved. Did I mention blood?

My masterlist

Pedro Pascal

Two years, six days and 8 hours ago, you walked into your boss’s office expecting to be fired. It’d only been a few months since you started, but the changeover was hectic, and standards of working slipped through the cracks.

The fact this was your first corporate job didn’t help. They had hired you under the referral of your old roommate. The idea was a long shot, but you got the job. The hours were long, and the pay was shit, but you didn’t have to sweat your ass off or wear a name tag.

Overall, being employed at Acla’s Pharmaceuticals wasn’t bad.

Didn’t mean you wouldn’t get fired for forgetting a coma in paperwork, though.

Which led to you being called to Max Phillips’ office. Your flats were rubbing against your heel as you walked. The smell of desperation and stale coffee clogged your nose, and, for the life of you, finding his office was impossible.

The mental math of your budget and bills ran through your head at top speeds. Thoughts of ramen packets and macaroni and cheese blended with your cat’s brand of food. You could afford to feed yourself or your cat for the next three months and, let’s be real, your cat wins.

Knocking on the door felt wrong. It echoed.

Your stomach twisted when Mr. Phillips shouted for you to come in.

It twisted again when you saw blood all over his desk, covering his tie and dripping from the pen in his hand. You wouldn’t say it looked like a massacre. That’d be extreme, but a solid murder was possible.

Was the blood his?

Did he mean to call janitorial and got you instead?

Was that possible? You were in claims which, yes, sucked, but wasn’t near the cleaning crew was it?

(Not that anything’s wrong with the cleaning crew. You simply hated vacuuming and there seems to be carpet in a lot of places here.)

Max smiled when he noticed you.

“Ah, there you are.” The blood dripped off the pen, splattering over paperwork.

“Um, you needed me Mr. Phillips?”

His smile tilted as he shook his head. “Please, call me Max.”

“Sorry Mr-.” You paused, “Uh, Max.”

He rose to his feet, the tie swinging across his white shirt. When you glanced down at it, he followed your gaze and huffed out a laugh.

“Yes,” He dabbed the tie with his fingers, “You must be wondering why I asked for you.”

That’s an understatement.

Did he need an alibi?

Could you be an alibi? How long were you at work?

“I was talking to Janet, your office manager. She says quite a few things about you.” His smile widened. “All good things, of course. One thing she mentioned really stuck out. You were a medic, right?”

You’re not sure if a medic could handle this. How many bandaids did he need?

“Uh,” You tried to look away from the bloody handprint he left when he stepped around the desk, “Not really. I trained in phlebotomy, but had to quit when my sister got sick.”

Another smile, all teeth, “You worked with blood though, right?”

“That’s the whole point of phlebotomy.” The words left your mouth before you could stop them.

Max’s smile faded, dripping with blood. He rounded the desk to lean against it, his arms crossed, the red under his fingernails left marks on his suit.

You were getting fired and, possibly, blamed for murdering someone.

When Max burst into laughter, it startled you. “Ah, excellent, a sense of humor. That’s what we like around here, Sugar. People who can dish out as good as they get. Did you know Patrick Chambers in HR once did a standup routine for the Christmas party? Guy has the laughs.”

“I bet.” Jesus, shut up.

Max clapped his hands together. “Anyway, I was hoping you’d help me with something.”

When he pushed away from the desk, his foot kicked out, dragging your gaze down and- “That’s a head.”

“Yes, it is, and you, Sugar, are going to help me keep that from happening.” Once more he smiled, canines extended.

“I’m not being fired?”

Max winked. “Promoted more like it.”

Two years, 6 days and 9 hours ago they handed you an NDA with a contract to help Max attain blood donations without killing (sometimes) people.

(He still killed people, you learned, but only when they didn’t meet their quarterly goals)

Since that day, you’ve spent hours on end in the man’s office with bags of blood being loaded into a built in cooler. Max wanted to throw them in all at once, but the blood was fragile. You had to make sure they stayed hanging and didn’t congeal before you could store them. Max had a penchant for B+ which meant you had to organize the other types as backups.

Now and then you got stuck sitting in the office's corner as he held a stranger against the desk and bit down.

“Nothing beats the fresh stuff, Sugar.” He’d aim a finger gun at you.

“You’re going to run out of suits if you keep it up on the clock.” You’d slip his dry cleaning receipt towards him.

He’d given you three days off a week. Those three days you lived by a schedule of importance.

Grocery shopping (vegetarian meals don’t last long)

Bills (Max pays you a pretty penny)

Therapy

Therapy is important.

You’d been worried about the mental trauma you experienced every day working for Max. What gets brought up the most is your inability to form proper boundaries.

“Your boss expects a lot of you.” Kathryn hums, her eyes focused on yours.

“The vacation days are wonderful.” They really are. You could take your sister and three friends to San Diego last year for a week and afford to splurge your heart’s content.

Sometimes, when you’re sitting across from your therapist you think about walking into Max’s office and finding another dead body. You think about the blood covering his suit, coating his hair, the way the air had a copper taste to it. It’d cross your mind faster than a hamster wheel and you always had the same reaction.

Indifference.

Which, honestly, isn’t a surprise to you.

You say it’s amazing compartmentalization skills. Kathryn says it’s deeply rooted repression.

Tomato, tomahto.

All that being said, nothing would have prepared you to walk into Max’s office on this day. Your bag is heavy over your shoulder with newly bagged blood. The door opened with a squeak, reminding you to ask Hamish for some WD-40. Looking up at the hinges distracts you from the noise.

The squelch behind your head sounding like Max draining his last baggie.

Your mind focused intently on what needed to be refilled that it took a solid thirty seconds for you to realize what was happening.

The flex of Max’s ass, the sharp smack of hips against hips and the muffled moans of the woman he had bent over the desk. The same tie he’d wore the day you thought he’d fire you shoved into her mouth.

Max had his hand circling her wrist, his other hand pinning her down.

It wasn’t the blatant and unprofessional display of sex that had your mind reeling.

It was how good Max looked, his mouth covered in blood, trails of it following the line of his chest. He tossed his jacket and left his shirt open. His slacks pooled around his ankles and you could see the tense hold of his thighs.

There was blood running from the woman’s neck, her chest, her legs. Max had it on his fingers, caked beneath his nails.

The first thought that bubbled to the surface and made its way out of your mouth stunned you. “Did you finish the Carpelix file first?

You rarely remembered the name of the new blood pressure drug.

Unless it involved your boss’s ass, you guess.

The woman turned her head before Max did. Her eyes half lidded, spit drowning the tie. She had a pale hue to her skin, the pallor striking next to the dark wooden desk.

She muffled something around the tie which had Max looking over his shoulder at you.

“You’re back early.” He fucked into her, hard, jarring the desk that held them up.

“Traffic was light.” With that, you walked towards the cooler.

There was only one baggie left like you expected. An O negative, his least favorite. You tried not to stock up too much on O blood types. Sometimes you didn’t get lucky enough to wrangle A or B types and Max could suck it up. Literally.

“Did you stop for bagels?” He sounded closer. You glanced back and shook your head as he buttoned up his pants.

The woman was squirming, her hands slipping in the blood as she lifted herself up. You raised a brow at Max who looked down at the woman and frowned.

“Regina,” He pulled her up, “You’ve met before, right?” He waved a hand towards you, the other circling her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

The woman, Regina, squinted at you. “I don’t know.”

You squinted yourself, looking closer as Max slid his hand up her side. He cupped her breast his thumb brushing her nipple, and she shivered.

Max tilted her chin to the side, aiming her full gaze at you.

“Regina Mallord.” You rolled your eyes. “She rear-ended my car a few months ago.”

He smiled, “Did she?”

Regina was whining as Max played with her, his fingers moving across her chest, over her nipples and back. She squirmed in his hold as blood dripped down her neck. Some of it dried around her collar bone, fingerprints marking through the path.

“If I remember correctly,” Max murmured, “Your car was in the shop for a week, right? If I also remember, you had to Uber to work.”

You rolled your eyes again, “Yes, Max. You complained about me being late for a week straight — I wasn’t late. You’re just impatient in the mornings.”

He nips at Regina’s ear. “I really am.” There’s a moment, a single moment, where your eyes meet.

Max winks again, slowly, his mouth stretching as his face contorts, brow scrunching. The veins along his temples darkened before he opens his mouth wide and rips Regina’s throat out.

Both of you watch her body hit the floor with a wet crash.

You sigh, “What was the point of that?”

Max nudges her arm with his foot, stepping over her to move closer to you. “She was in the break room when I went to clean my cup.”

“So, you decided to fuck her then kill her?”

He reached out, his finger tracing the line of your jaw, “I planned on only killing her, but I got a bit rowdy.”

You swiped his hand away. “A bit?”

Max stepped closer, leaning against the cooler, his hand coming back up to touch your necklace. “I saw her car yesterday. I recognized it from you showing me the cameras. You had to pay almost 3000 to get your car fixed.”

“Yeah,” You didn’t swipe him away this time, let him drag a path from your neck to your jaw, “That’s what I get for forgetting to re-up my insurance.”

Max quirked a brow. “You’re a treasure, Sugar.”

“You say that because I don’t question,” You directed your gaze at Regina’s body, “that.”

“Hmm, yeah.” He leaned closer, “but also because you make my day a little better.”

A spike of pleasure shot down your spine, heat curling in your belly. Max’s eyes were deep pools that crinkled when he smiled. There was an innocence to them, a puppy dog look that made it hard to tell him no.

It’s worse when he tilts his lips into a smile and aims his attention at you.

You’d blame it on his hypnosis abilities, but you knew the truth — Max Phillips is a gorgeous son of a bitch. People rotate between wanting to stake him in the heart or suck his dick.

Right now, you want to do both.

Mostly the dick part.

The other would spill more blood and Jeffery will have a hell of a time as is.

“Sugar,” He drew your attention back to him, “How about I take you for dinner tonight?”

You sigh, “Max,” His eyes flicker down to your lips, then back up, “It’s Tuesday.”

“Yeah?” Another look at your lips. His tongue darts out to lick away the blood at the corner of his mouth.

“Tomorrow is the corporate meeting.” Max frowns.

“That’s not until July.”

“Max,” His mouth flattens, “It is July.”

The kiss was tangy, his lips sliding along yours. His tongue taste of blood, coffee, and something else. Something deeper. It tastes of Max.

“Sugar,” He whispers when he pulls back, “Let me take you to dinner. It’s the least I could do for all that you do.”

“Max.”

“I love hearing you say my name.” He kissed you again. This kiss was deeper, harder his arm circling your waist to press you to his chest.

What does it say about you that this was the best kiss you’ve ever had? Having Max Phillips groaning into your mouth, his fingers digging into your hip. You can feel the shift of his legs as he turned you around to press against the wall.

The way his body fits against yours makes your knees weak.

Your mind reeled, making you dizzy headed as he nipped at your jaw, down your neck. It was heady, heavy, the air thick around you.

Your eyes fell on Regina’s dead body, and the kissing stopped.

“Max.” He buries his face in your neck, “Max.” You push at his shoulder.

He sighs, “Yes?”

You aim your gaze at the corpse. “She’s staining the carpet.”

Max barks out a laugh loud enough that it startles you.

“We’ll finish this tonight, yeah? For now, you mind calling the cleaning staff and make sure Jeffery brings more than one bag.”

Two years, 6 days and 10 hours since you thought you were going to be fired, and you had a date with your boss and call for a body clean up.

Yay.

I have a whole thing with Max killing people for reader 🤨

#max phillips #max phillips x reader #max phillips x you #max phillips fanfiction #bloodsucking bastards #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character

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