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plunderwater · 9 months

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TIMING: Prior to Jasper losing his face LOCATION: Driftwood Diner PARTIES: Fang (@ronin-for-hire) & Jasper (@eatdearth) SUMMARY: Fang and Jasper meet up to try the White Crab seltzers at Driftwood Diner despite their shaky "first date" at Midnight Drive-In. CONTENT WARNINGS: Innuendos, awkward date stuff, passive-aggressiveness

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was supposed to be a pretty nice movie date at Midnight Drive-In, featuring the film called The Awakening of the Jiggly Pears; it was supposed to be a pretty nice dinner at Harborside, with Jasper getting to taste those White Crab seltzers at Driftwood Diner that she had been raving about. However, as it turned out, much to Jasper’s dismay, both times were with the same girl, and that same girl seemed extremely hostile toward him. Did he do something wrong to her? Something he couldn’t even remember? Did he accidentally piss on her parents’ graves or what?

“So, uhm, we meet again, huh?” Jasper tried to play it off coolly, chuckling at his lame attempt at an ice breaker. He’s never been at Harborside, at least not recently, at least not with someone new, someone who seemed like she’d rather break his kneecaps than do anything else with him, most of all enjoy the seltzers. But Jasper at least tried. No one can say he didn’t. Especially not at the face of a scowling she-devil. “T-thanks for being here.”

Fang squinted at Jasper, her arms crossed over her chest, as she sat back on her seat, scowling. The first time they had gone out, it was to watch that weird film at that weird drive-in. It wasn’t a bad first date, err first meeting, but it could have gone a lot better. At least he didn’t try anything weird. Then again, he wouldn’t have been able to. If he had, she would’ve made sure he wouldn’t try that again with anyone else. But at least he paid. And his car was clean. “Yeah, probably should’ve made sure it wasn’t you.”

Those words might have been sharper than most people would’ve liked, but they were the only words she knew. Well, the only delivery she knew. Fang didn’t live in this part of the world. She didn’t grow up with comfort and the luxury to give strangers the benefit of the doubt. Fang grew up in the part of the world where her parents died during a car crash, thanks to a monster. She grew up in the part of the world where no other relatives claimed her, leading to the guy that saved her to take her in, train her to be a monster killer. She’s been surviving against monsters ever since. “As long as you’re paying, Professor.”

“Of course, I will,” Jasper forced a smile on his face just as the waitress arrived, greeting them both and handing them each a menu. That comment of Fang’s, the one with the whole making sure it wasn’t him again thing, made him wince inside. It was a bit hurtful, but to be honest, he should have expected it from her. For some reason, she hated his guts. Was it his fault? Or maybe that was just who she was? He’d met people like that, had them in his class. Misdirected anger, that was what he liked to call it. She didn’t have enough on him, he thought, to have all that dislike of him be truly about him. It was, most likely, something else. “Two White Crab seltzers?”

Jasper posed the question to Fang, which the waitress picked up on. The latter had said the usual spiel of the restaurant, the food place, which Jasper didn’t bother to listen to. Or he would have, had he not focused on Fang’s misguided animosity toward him. Whatever the true cause of her negativity was, her hostility, he was now determined to find out, if only to make sure she’d tone it down a bit, or more importantly, he could make her feel more comfortable and less agitated. “Or do you have something else in mind? Something more you want to try?”

Fang accepted the menu and read it in a way that kept her from seeing Jasper’s face. Heaving a sigh, she read through the items offered, finding the White Crab seltzers. As if on cue, she reminisced on the first time she got them, having been dragged to the diner by Sara and her coworkers who wanted to try the new addition. The slayer wasn’t too thrilled at the thought of being forced to try a drink with crab in it, especially after her morgue fight, but ended up relenting after Sara guilted her like an Asian mom would.

“Here,” Fang stated plainly, placing the menu on the table with her finger on the word ‘codburger’ while staring at Jasper with a playful smirk, as if challenging him to get the same dish. The slayer wasn’t much of a gambler, even though the codburger was always a gamble. Some days, the cod was delicious. Other days? She wasn’t even sure if it was cod in there. Definitely a dish she’d enjoy watching the geology professor try to overcome. “Two. One for me and you. Unless you’re scared?”

“Scared?” Jasper raised an eyebrow at Fang, utterly confused. Why would he be scared of a burger? Sure, he’s never had a burger with cod instead of meat, but he did have that tuna burger a while back. Cod and tuna… They’re basically the same thing, right? “Why would I be scared? It’s just fish,” he turned to the waitress with a warm smile, nodding at her after she clarified if that was all they wanted to have. White Crab seltzers and codburger… How could he expect anything else from a diner at Harborside.

“So,” Jasper tried to think of something else to talk about once the waitress left him alone with Fang. He tried to be careful about what topic to broach, tip-toeing on eggshells in his head. The last thing he wanted was for her to start yelling at him again. Then again, he did think she was cute when she got mad. Oh, no… What the actual fuck was that line of thinking? “...you come here often?” Smooth… As in smooth brain. Smooth brain Jasper. Gundam it.

Fang scoffed at Jasper before shaking her head, a grin finding its way across her lips. The man was walking the fine line that separated ignorance and stupidity, and the slayer was finding his stumbling a little bit humorous. She gave him a final shrug and leaned back against her seat, “All right, just fish, hm? We’ll see.”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the final dumb thing Jasper could have said. Fang scoffed a second time in under an hour, disbelief clear on her face. “Is that a pick-up line? You know we’re not in a bar, right?”

Besides, Jasper had already technically picked her up, so there was no need for such a line. Picking up on that idea, Fang leaned forward, her lips contorting into a playful smirk. “Are you nervous, Professor?” He was a bit like this during the movie, too, though she simply attributed that to the fact that it was night time and she didn’t really give him an opening to do what he wanted, what guys on movie dates at night often liked to do.

Quietly, without words, Jasper just stared at Fang, now a little considered at the implied dangers of a “codburger.” What was it? The cod was going to be overcooked? Raw? Jasper has had sushi before. He’s not lightweight when it comes to fish. Besides, what even is overcooked fish? Just mushy sea meat that he can still gulp down. Of all the things to be afraid of, especially in this part of Wicked’s Rest, fish was not going to be one of them for Jasper.

“Oh, no,” Jasper shook his head, fumbling for a save. It was. It definitely was a pick-up line, though he may not have intended it as such. Jasper hasn’t been social lately, though to no fault of his own. He tries, but not a lot of people want to have some fun with him outside of office hours. The few that did intimidated him. The rest that he wanted to go out with, have some drinks, maybe a few burgers? Well, he’d rather not get some rumors going around at the university. Dating students was weird. “I was just trying to break the ice.”

“...a little bit,” came Jasper’s awkward admission after a few seconds of silence. The last time they were together, it didn’t really foster a good feeling between the two of them. This made him feel a bit hesitant to do anything now, for fear of a lot of things, most especially getting physical with her, and by that, getting beaten to a pulp. “Nice place…”

“Hm,” came Fang’s ice-cold reply, which was appropriate, considering Jasper was trying to break the ice. Or was that ironic? The slayer could never tell. She wasn’t a wordsmith, and the English language wasn’t her first or even her second language. Learning it took some time, as it was very weird and little all over the place. Just like him.

Heaving a sigh, Fang crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back. Maybe she was being hard on him. Maybe he doesn’t deserve it as much as she thought. First impressions were important, and Jasper had fumbled that, but Fang could surely give him a second chance? Like her late mentor did. “It is, I guess.”

Now it was her turn to try to break her own ice, as she mustered enough courage and self-awareness to soften her stance. “What places do you go to? On your time, I mean,” Fang shrugged the query as the waitress returned with their burgers and seltzers. At first, she was disinterested in his answer, but as she reached for the seltzer, eager to try it, one glimpse of him made her a little more curious. Something about him reminded her of herself, and she hated it.

“My time?” Jasper was pleasantly surprised when Fang made the effort to make their set-up a little less hostile and a little more, well, interactive. He was already munching on the codburger, having found it a little too tempting. If what she was warning him about was truly dangerous, scary, or whatever else, then he wanted to just get it all over with, done with. The first bite was a little soft, maybe too soft, but her question distracted him from delving into that concern much deeper. “Well, I don’t know… Depends on the day, or night, I suppose.”

Jasper reached for his seltzer, taking a quick sip of it, finding the taste a little odd, though it was mostly due to the fact that he had never tasted anything like it. If it was a thing in this neighborhood, then he wouldn’t have known. Jasper rarely went here, even as a kid, even though he had wanted to. Who didn’t want to go to the beach as a kid? “Friday nights, I spend the night out, enjoying my freedom…with drinks,” he opted to omit the part where he usually did that alone. On his own. “What about you?”

“Your time,” Fang reiterated the emphasis, taking a sip of the seltzer and surprisingly enjoying it. Must be a whole seafood thing. Back in Japan, she enjoyed a lot of seafood, even the stuff she didn’t know she’d like, the stuff she didn’t even know existed before then, and has since established a preference for all the white meat, and even the non-white meat, from the sea. Basically, it’s a whole thing with her.

Next, she tried the burger, almost dreading the attempt, but was surprised, again, though pleasantly as well, when the cod in the codburger was very much a cod, tasted like one and tasted pretty fresh, too. Must be her lucky day. Odd.

“Me?” Fang chewed the bite she took as slowly as she could to relish and savor the taste. It was a damn good codburger. Well, hers was. She wasn’t sure if Jasper’s was any better. Or anyone else’s in that restaurant. But she didn’t dwell on that thought. Instead, she tried to think of a decent answer to the question, delving deep into her mind. She enjoyed slaying monsters for money, that was the answer she wanted to give, but of course she couldn’t. “Sex.”

Nailed it.

Jasper almost choked on his food when he heard her reply, coughing as he desperately reached for his seltzer. His eyes were still wet and a bit red when he finally recuperated from the unexpected revelation. Jasper was no prude, so Fang having sex in her free time wasn’t anything that surprised him. What actually got him was the fact that she had offhandedly made the comment, sharing something intimate with him when she had previously only shared hostility with the geology professor.

If they were close friends, then Jasper would have just laughed it off, especially if they had such an intimate rapport where they could joke about such things, talk openly about such personal details. But they weren’t. They had already gone out twice, sure, but the most they knew about each other was that Fang wasn’t a fan of Jasper and Jasper was clearly socially inept. “Y-yeah… O-okay,” he cleared his throat, making sure the seltzer got all the possible obstruction from the burger. “Me, too, I guess. Sex is great.” He had to feign another cough to mask his own embarrassment at his final remark.

Jasper felt like teleporting elsewhere as an aftermath of that exchange, though he wouldn’t know the first thing about that. He might be a spellcaster, but he was essentially a rung below beginner. He was more like a hobbyist, and his magical affinity was more toward earth elemental magic. Teleportation, if it even was a thing, would have been under a different category, he believed, though he was also not well-versed with other categories outside of elemental magic.

Soon, his thoughts had to wander to the possibility that she might invite him over after this for some, well, great sex, but quickly shook his head to keep himself from dwelling over that possibility. It was just a stray bullet of sorts, surely, and nothing was going to come out of this second date. Surely. Jasper swallowed air, feeling his throat dry up from out of nowhere, despite the fact that he had just drank some seltzer not too long ago, finished the entire damned cup even.

Fang let out a brief chuckle, realizing that she was the alpha in this conversation. She should always be. By default. But sometimes, it was much easier and freer to not be the alpha. Sometimes, she did enjoy being the one following another, being second to someone else, someone who steered the conversation whichever way they wanted, the meet-up, the encounter.

Most of the interactions she’d had usually ended with swords drawn, which in her case, was often literally. It’s nice to be able to just chill and put her feet up. With Jasper, that seems to always be the case, even if she had to be alpha. “Yeah? You must get a lot of sex then, being a smart professor guy and all?” It was mostly teasing, as Fang didn’t really want to know. Or did she?

The rest of the “date” went better than Fang expected. At least he was too far to try anything this time, too far to reach around her shoulders and leave his heavy, lanky arm on them, weighing her down like a steel ball shackled to her ankle, too far to brush strands of her hair away from her face and behind her ear. He’s probably watched more stupid rom-coms than actually gotten on dates. To be fair, though, she hasn’t been dating either. Still, she wasn’t watching rom-coms to fill that hole in her life. She’s been slaying monsters at night for cash instead. Not an ideal replacement but still a bit better. “So, what do you think? You and me?”

Jasper blushed, his cheeks feeling hot under Fang’s scrutinizing gaze, so he immediately tried to brush it off with an awkward grin paired with an even more awkward chuckle. “You think?” He thought the question would make him look cool, even though he was subconsciously asking her to repeat her assumption.

“I mean, I am a smart professor guy and all,” Jasper began blabbering to try and find a way to make himself sound better than he actually is, though to little avail. “Professors tend to be smart guys, or smart girls, or women, since, you know, professors need their brains to graduate with their degrees and become professors…” He went on and on and on about unnecessary things, going around in circles, until Fang would stop him and they would find other topics to discuss.

When their conversation ended up with her asking him what he thought about the two of them, Jasper once again choked, this time on air, as he had already finished his meal. He stared at her with wide eyes, unsure of what to say, but slowly realized what she actually meant. Was it an invitation? Of course, it was! She wouldn’t actually ask for his dumb-ass opinion. Fang didn’t seem like someone who’d care for what Jasper actually thought. It was either he was down or he wasn’t, and Jasper would be dumber than dumb if he wasn’t.

The geology professor immediately raised his hand in the air, not moving his eyes away from Fang just in case she changed her mind. “C-check please!”

#‧⋇⊶⊰ para ⊱⊷⋇‧#jasper ✦ langston #‧⋇⊶⊰ season ✦ one ⊱⊷⋇‧#‧⋇⊶⊰ s1 ✦ canaries ⊱⊷⋇‧#date ✦ light #wickedswriting

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docholligay · 1 year

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One of the not-actually-hardest but hardest for me things about being the mother of a toddler is her tastes change so FAST.

So I want to have another really nice, themed fun party for her birthday in March* and right NOW she's really into Crab Rave and Step in Time, so I could do cute things with either of those themes, but by the time March rolls around WHO KNOWS which means I can't REALLY buy decor ahead of time and shop sales like I'd like

*listen we have one deeply wanted child that took us a lot of work to have and if I want to be That Mom I will.

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evilwolf2000 · 7 months

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i went out for crabs with my work on wednesday it was fucking funny they taught me how to open crabs. i'd never done it before and i'm glad i got to do it once but i wouldn't do it again i really hated the feeling on my hands. and i ate an oyster too

i saw nightmare on elm street it was good.

there's so many parties this weekend i don't think ill go to any of them not even the annual halloween rave off the highway. if i'm not drinking without worrying about it i'm not gonna have a good time. and if i did go and drink i would be worrying about it. either way i wouldn't have a good time. i think ill go to the laundromat and get all my laundry done instead tonight.

#blog #animals #work #patrick #food

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chaoticgoodlawyerwrites · 2 years

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Sneak peak for chapter 23! To be out very soon~

No need for context, this is the very start of the chapter! (crab rave time)

Shen Qingqiu thought he was a… somewhat decent person.

He figured it was perfectly moral to rejoice in the gruesome death of a loathed enemy. Especially after that enemy had caused so much pain to his husband and his family, and personally antagonized him. He doubted that most of the Peak Lords bought his neutral act, but he had to at least attempt it for the sake of propriety.

“As many of you have likely heard, the Palace Master of Huan Hua Palace has been killed, along with the vast majority of their Sect elders,” Shen Qingqiu said coldly to his colleagues and their attendants at the first Peak Lord Meeting following the disastrous and better-forgotten New Year Festival. “There was no note left, and no party has stepped forward to claim responsibility for the assassination. Reports say that the killing was… passionate. It is possible that the motive was personal as opposed to political.”

He certainly made enough enemies for a list of people to willingly have done it, he thought but did not say.

Shen Qingqiu fought off a smirk behind his fan. It wouldn’t do to be seen smiling at such a death. Still, his father-in-law had certainly gone to town on the man and his closest supporters.

But more important than the man’s death, Tianlang-Jun had found a shrine in his private quarters with a clear (but subtle) view of a grave in the Palace Master’s most hidden courtyard. And in that grave, was the wrapped body of a woman adorned with a sword tassel Su Xiyan had hated but the Palace Master attempted to give to her as a courting gift.

As far as Shen Qingqiu was aware, his mother-in-law was being resurrected as he spoke. His Binghe would get to meet his mother properly for the first time.

“Palace Master Gongyi Xiao is now in charge of the Sect. While they continue to mourn the loss of so many in such a short period of time, they also find themselves in a crisis. While Gongyi Xiao is the undisputed rightful successor, Huan Hua Palace is in utter disarray. The Palace Master has thus requested Cang Qiong’s aid.”

SQH: wtf

A number of Peak Lords’ faces conveyed the same sentiment. It was a public confession of weakness from one of the proudest Sects in existence. It all but abdicated any claim to supremacy over Cang Qiong for living memory, which was something no one could have expected.

Shen Qingqiu would have been more than content to sit back and let things happen naturally. However, he had played a not insignificant role in the near collapse of their rival Sect. Gongyi Xiao was a good young man who would want to do right by his responsibilities, and the fact he would ask for help was telling. If Huan Hua fell, then their (overly) vast territory would lose protection from hauntings and demons, which would be devastating considering it represented a good proportion of the borderlands.

Shen Qingqiu felt morally obliged to do something about it. Besides, it would help him further his own goals of shaping the minds of the upcoming generation of cultivators.

“What would happen without our intervention is unclear, but this master would not like to see that future realized. They have requested support related to administration and curriculum, not strength of arms. This Sect Leader intends to answer their call personally, as a signal that this one’s animosity towards the precious Palace Master does not extend to his successor. Are there any arguments against such aid?”

Another round of looks were exchanged between people in the room.

Shang Qinghua raised his hand in a way that was definitely anachronistic for this world. Shen Qingqiu sighed, “Shang-shidi?”

“Is Sect Leader sure it is safe for him to do so? This master doubts that everyone agreed with the new Palace Master’s decision, and an opportunistic few may attack the Sect hoping to take what strength and wealth it holds for themselves…”

“This master still retains some level of respect for his actions at the Immortal Alliance Conference and may well be the safest one of all of Cang Qiong’s leadership to answer this call. Furthermore, only this master, Peak Lord Shang, and Peak Lord Qi have the expertise they ask for. Finally…” Shen Qingqiu hesitated for half a second. “The Palace Master spent time on Qing Jing as part of the disciple exchange last year. This master thinks he will respond better to this one’s suggestions than another.”

“Right. For that reason only. Not any other.”

He narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Would Shang-shidi like to elaborate?”

“Nope! But you are right; he’ll listen to Shen-shixiong’s counsel before anyone else.”

Shen Qingqiu didn’t quite understand what he was getting at, but decided he would rather not know.

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star-the-gremlin · 2 years

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What does Crab Rave do? In the context of your AU of course

It summons multiple crabs that help out when the holder activates the power

the power's called "Party Time"

Basically this

#ask #answered ask #red velvet/lynx noire au #russian special #they're there just to be a nuisance

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swampgallows · 1 year

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this is mostly just notes for me re: my next ingame wow rave

im scouting locations but sooo many parts of dragonflight are either phased by questing, have possible rare elite spawns, or are densely packed with mobs. like the emerald sanctuary would be perfect except that there might be people doing quest turn-ins and watching the cinematic, or they’re at different parts of the campaign so they might not show up at all. i want to ideally host it in a dragonflight zone because i want to call it “Dragonstomp” (after what warstomp is called in the model viewer, and because dragonflight) but the zones itself make it tough. my standby location is one of the many cave networks because so many of them are empty of mobs. they might have occasional treasures, but that’s not a problem to me.

i also want to avoid the azure span until latency seems to stabilize because that zone and valdrakken tends to have a ton of lag. between the tuskarr feast, the hunts, the ice fishing pools, and the cobalt assembly, there is a LOT going on there. kalec’s house was an idea except 1. fuck kalec 2. phased by questing 3. lots of densely packed neutral mobs. i want people to be able to spam sparkly spells and stuff without worrying about pulling shit and killing lowbies lmfao.

speaking of lowbies, i want it to be accessible to them too, but testing shows you dont need to even train flying to begin dragonriding (as long as you’ve unlocked it on another character), or you can always taxi with another player. warlocks can summon too. im not sure if dragonflight is accessible for base trial accounts, but it is on accounts that havent purchased the xpac but have active game time.

too bad azure vaults is a 5man cause the crystal prison is super cool. kind of a bummer to party in though lol

23.7, 27.4 ohn’ahran plains, neutral crabs 31.35, 76 possible rare spawn, neutral goats thaldraszus cave 40.90, 77.7 65.35, 80.58 temporal conflux gazebo

dunno about waking shores that place is messy as all hell

#blathering #wra #dragonstomp

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skullchicken · 2 years

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And an ask for Amanda: 👪 FAMILY, 🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE, 🌋 VOLCANO, 🏊 SWIMMING, 🎁 PRESENT, 🌠 SHOOTING STAR,❤️ RED HEART

I finally found the oc emoji ask post again

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

frankly, her family is bad in a "crab bucket mentality" kind of way, in a "let's gossip about the poorer neighbors for being dirty and lazy and the slightly well-off-ones for getting uppity" kind of way. Her sister would call the girls at school skanks, but bring home a different boyfriend every month. her mother would rave about the immigrants in the neighborhood while her own mother was an immigrant herself. the larger family is at odds with each other because of an inheritance dispute.

Amanda has a close relationship to her grandma and she's shadowrunning in part to support her retirement. grandma used to have quite the temper, lashing out when she got overwhelmed, hence why she isn't on great speaking terms with her own children.

Amanda hasn't told her family what she does for a living and that she has magical abilities, since she fears (rightfully, perhaps), they would either hold it against her and/or ask for money and favors.

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

her opinion on her own birthday has oscillated between "hell yeah, party!!! :DDD" or "birthdays are overrated and who needs them anyways? >:,c" depending on whether she had a circle of friends at that time or not. nowadays it has mostly settled at "oh, it's my birthday huh? I almost forgot."

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

Amanda will verbally bite back if she feels mocked or upset, but she rarely if ever gets genuinely angry at someone. usually she feels bad when snapping and comes back 5 min later going 🥺

the rest under the cut :)

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

learned how to swim in school, hated it then, hates it now. why would anyone want chlorine in their nose? and it's cold :c. and it's exhausting! and if you do it wrong enough, you die - no thanks!

concerning the ocean: she likes the aesthetic (beach, blue water, bathing suits ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) but once she's in there she will go 😱 when algae touch her leg.

🎁 PRESENT - what types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

honestly, when she gets the feeling that you put thought and effort into the gift, she probably wouldn't care what it was. yes, she will wear that too-small, itchy sweater. yes, she will put that badly made clay-mug on her shelf. yes, those flowers will stand there until they're properly withered and dry.

I'm afraid in terms of gift giving it might be the same the other way around: she is very enthusiastic but not necessarily good at gifting. she will knit you that too small, itchy sweater etc.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

Not having to live fearing for her and her grandma's livelihood week to week. For the pain of the world to lighten a little, for a while at least. For people to treat each other better.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

Touch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

... actually she is also a very verbally appreciative person. if she thinks you're neat, she'll let you know. probably in a "drunk girl at the bathroom" kind of way... because it's not unlikely she will be a drunk girl at a bathroom when you meet her.

#thank you for the ask!#I love amanda so I'm happy to be able to gush about her more #shadowrun #blackout

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zypiris · 2 years

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We’re all having a good time with dead queen jokes and/or bullet points of atrocities, but please remember to tag your unreality and any flashing gifs/video. There’s a crab rave gif in particular that goes all in on the ‘rave’ part and it is painful to look at from just a sensitivity point.

We’ve got a lot of partying and overthrowing the monarchy to do, let’s make sure everyone can bring their best! Idk about y’all, but when I eat the rich, I want to be able to ask for thirds. Happy rioting!

#accessibility #crab rave

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expfcultragreen · 2 months

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You wouldnt believe how cool i am if i told you but ill try anyway lol

I threw down my sidearm and stood still pants free while a k9 sawed open my femoral artery because someone called the cops on me for being loud at home

I did a frankly underappreciated study of ringtailed lemurs in madagascar thereby fulfilling my life dream by age 25

I wrote a novel that i personally enjoy and can philosophically stand behind as meritorious

As an escort i hooked up with like 500 people so i bet my number is higher, stonks cray

i have cool piercings and cool tattoos too so neenerneener

Not sure i could beat you in a footrace anymore but like I'd give it a shot

If youve never been surfing ive surfed more than you

Ive been on more roadtrips, more rooftops, ive been to more parties, my available wardrobe is better aesthetically

Ive boated deep water alone, ive boated alone along the coast for days

If you cant skateboard to save your life, im better at it. If youre not an olympian im probs better at kayaking (or i was, on T)

I was a bike courier for a winter's month in the biggest, busiest city in the country (not on T)

I can open an oyster, but of course, the oysters themselves arent fans. I can catch and humanely (?) kill and cook a crab, but again, they dont like it so its murder. Thats just murder im bragging about now. (Im also a decent novice forager and chef of invasive weeds.) I have years of experience in caring for a flock of egglaying fowl, a small group of sheep, and small goats.

I once hitchhiked to IDA in december, i once hitched montreal to squamish in july to camp at fastcore fest

Ive met tony bourdain and chuck palaniuk in person, rip tony...i fucked a guy who had to get hunter s thompson to and from a radio station once

I saw pet shop boys and new order live. I saw elton, stevie nicks, arlo guthrie, matt good, acid mothers temple, swans, omar souleyman, thee nodes, tribunal, crosshairs, killrats, too many area bands to count really... antivibes, vcr...went to a rave in an old funeral parlor, a guerilla one in a park....i saw pusha t and le1f on the same stage for free plus free beers (sponsored event by vice and budlight lime...future islands played too) ...i saw lana del rey for free, i saw nicki minaj and meek mills for free. I saw flatbush zombies live and happily paid door. I paid to see Orville Peck at the pne, microdosed on shrooms. I saw billy idol while on acid at the pne and god was dancing in his logo and she was so cute and i screamed "dyke rock" and billy went offstage and came back in a sheer blouse

I wont list the demos ive been to, or should i try? Ok occupy, fnb'd some maydays, new caledonia land back march, toronto east side tent city lot sit-in, all the sammy yatim stuff/police board hearings, that lil counter-pegida thing at the legi......rising tide stuff a few times incl that oneday thing for (iirc) the g8.....more anti-killercop stuff, missed a landback/oldgrowth blockade kettling in east van while in transit, anti-corporate assimilationism parade-crash avec banner at pride one year...weed marches a few years....it goes on but why would i?

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wormworker · 6 months

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in some world where i don't have very severe body image issues, i would love to do twitch streams where i just host a dance party to the crab rave song every time a horrible person dies

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rad-review-of-gigs · 6 years

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Prodigy

Brixton Academy, 22.12.2017

Always speeding, never reversing, like unbridled, joystick mayhem

Six number one albums to the good, lurid dystopia has rarely been as thrilling as The Prodigy and the Academy is crackling with anticipation as the band finally steps out under the stage's roving searchlights. Vocalist Keith Flint, still wilfully perverse with mohican and black eye liner, prowls the stage in an adolescent slouch, like an indolent hyena scavenging off 1997's Fat of the Land, braces dangling torpidly by his knees. Alongside him the avowedly macho MC Maxim stokes all the 'hot and sweaty warriors on the floor".

Everyone hopes the music will change their picture. However the opening salvos, though reassuringly demented, are a confusion of noise that belie the guile of the group's quarter of a century of studio samplings. 'Wild Frontier' stands alone in this briny chaos as having some shape and coherence. 2009's 'Omen' was first up and fortunately the writing is not on the wall, as the set gradually mutates into the kind of shamanistic experience that avid clubbers yearn for. Whether this is through being bludgeoned, as promised, into another dimension or the sound has simply been tweaked down a notch, The Prodigy's timeworn breakneck and careering fusion of punk and techno, reminiscent of a video game carjack, is soon in cruise control.

The band shrewdly dispenses with a truncated 'Firestarter' early on, as if to say you're here to live this gig not just wait for an anthem, and from that point the malevolent hedonism assumes its distinctive form.

A delighted crowd parties frenziedly to the ominous, snarling 'Breathe' and there is barely a moment to exhale before Rob Holliday, a prototype Mick Jones inhabiting the corner of the stage, outs the heavy guitar riff of 'Voodoo People', Other gems are the pounding 'Get Your Fight On' and recent single 'Need Some 1'. After the ragga of 'Poison' the rapturous adulation almost kisses the ceiling. So Maxim hunkers the flock, like the raving crab of Fat Of The Land's iconic album cover, for a wash in the ethereal, levantine interlude inside 'Smack My Bitch Up', before erupting it from the sea bed for a final burst of hysteria.

The encore is a mission back through time to the group's undistilled dance roots with club classic, 'No Good' and the reggae-infused 'Out of Space'. As The Prodigy vanish in the sulphurous cloud of dry ice the audience is left to float alone the chorus of "I'm gonna send you to outer space to find another race."

Suitably skewed with its tilted floor, the Brixton Academy is sold out for three nights of this explosive delirium and, in an era of snowballing institutional decay and social entropy, the punk spirit of The Prodigy could be the zeitgeist once more and ensures the event is more than an outmoded and corroded panto. "I've got the poison, the remedy, the rhythmical remedy" screams Maxim. Music indeed for a jilted generation.

Words: Adrian Cross

Photos: Richard Gray

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funkforbreakfast · 10 months

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New England Coastal Road Trip

Today felt like a calling to road-trip. I woke up at my aunts house in Marshfield and had that rare motivation to run. I changed and tried to sneak out to a beach — spoiler alert, there’s almost no beach parking in Marshfield. I tried to set out on the rocky shores by Brant Rock but tumbling amongst the beach was a struggle. Fortunately my aunt reached out, wanting to walk on the beach (and she had a parking permit!) The beach was littered with crab claws — some of which seemed foreign for the area and perhaps dropped by a wandering tourist. But the shells were almost as plenty and we took home a peachy spiral. My aunt raved of all the coffee shops and bakery in her hometown. While I was sold on the rumored gigantic gooey cinnamon bun, my clock said otherwise. I needed to be heading north if I wanted to make it to Newburyport in time. Long road drives feel familiar at this point - a time for me to listen to good music and go without social contact for a bit. The hour twenty to a golf shack where I was meeting up for a Facebook marketplace deal breezed by. I heard this town was a gorgeous walk-around town by the coast, but I was feeling more and more lonely on my trip. By now it was getting cloudy and I was either 50 min home or 30 min away from my childhood-family-summer-vacation-spot. I chose north up to Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where I could catchup with some former high school teachers of mine at their summer house. I plugged “Ice-House” into my Google maps and drove north. When I pulled off into the coastal New Hampshire town, the sun was poking through - coating the streets and pastel houses in its warmth. The familiar side of the road restaurant welcomed me to its dirt parking lot. I wasn’t planning on spending my life savings - but lunch naturally added up to be more than what I budgeted for. I chowed down on a fried clam strip plate with a blueberry pie a la mode to its side (honestly, desert came before the meal).

I was foolish and said "No" when the server asked if I wanted tartar sauce with my clam strips. They were good, but the ketchup could only carry the fried dish so far.

My favorite thing to order here is just a cheeseburger — not that I have had it in a minute, but I remember it being juicy and cheesy and dripping down my hands as a child. They also would serve it with a lettuce bun, though our waiter seemed confused by that request.

The pie was the real highlight (naturally). I am a big big fan of eating fruit when it is local and when it is season. There is no place better for blueberries than New Hampshire and Maine – and I like to believe that when the fruit grows on the coast it's even more special. It was perfectly tart for an ice-cream-topped slice but the overall berry flavor was muted.

It was an afternoon spent gabbing with friends before purchasing a surprisingly affordable Trader Joe’s haul. I was excited to get home though (for the first time in a week) and shower and open some packages.

In trying to be more true to myself, I think I am a choosy extrovert. Being around close friends feels recharging of my social battery, but if I am trying to meet new people at a party where meeting new people is not the vibe (iykyk), then I'd rather sit one out. Maybe you could call me an ambivert. Maybe labelling humans on spectrum based systems is inherently flawed! It was a wonderful day, but I can’t help but wonder if it would have been more memorable with a friend - or maybe I need to get more used to my own presence.

Highlighted spot: The Ice House in Rye, NH

#food #cooking #food blogs #foodmedia #recipe #baking #student #blog

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leowolf0816 · 11 months

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Hangover//Ch9

Chapter 8

Word count:1270

Amber's P.O.V.

Waking up I felt my head throb along with an odd cold feeling like I had lost something I didn't know was there.

I rubbed my eyes and slowly look around. I glance towards my window seeing a small box with a note on it. I look at it confused before glancing over to my nightstand as a soft buzzing emanates from it.

Picking up my phone I place it to my ear slowly crawling out of my bed to grab the box at my window. As I stare at the box Karen's voice emanates from the phone in an excited tone. She talks about Matt helping me get home and she asked if anything happened. making me roll my eyes.

"No, we did not sleep together I fell asleep and no no one made a move" I laugh at the disappointed tone in her voice.

"You and Foggy literally made a bet on who would make the first move and may I say thank you for having such confidence in me to make the first move but damn" She laughed making me smile. I told her about the box and note left at my window which she then teased that it was from Matt until I mentioned it was warm and smelled of baked goods. She told me to read the note to her I rolled my eyes before opening the paper and clearing my throat.

"Dear Angel, I hope you slept well after your friend dropped you off and I do truly hope that this treat makes your hangover headache just a little more bearable..." I trailed off with a smile at the cocky sign-off.

From, The devil you just have to adore.

I rolled my eyes before opening the box revealing a crescent crab. I laughed as I told Karen what was in the box making her instantly question if I had gotten a boyfriend I hadn't told her about.

I reassured her that I would tell her if I got a boyfriend or if I had any sexual encounters. She gave me a quick "good" before talking about this mascarade party for all the firms in New York that the boys had to go to. She noted how she was going as Foggy's plus one and she was having trouble finding a plus one for Matt. As she paused I could tell she was about to say.

"And you want me to go as his plus one?" I asked with a soft smile imagining dancing with Matt. I simply said fine but told her that she would have to come with me to shop for it as I had nothing for a Mascarade party.

She happily agreed to come with me to look for a dress, shoes, and a mask. I asked her a few questions as I ate my treat before walking out to the kitchen to make myself some tea. Running into Alisa already in the kitchen.

I was surprised she was awake and asked her if she would join me and Karen for a better opinion on what to wear. She takes a sip of coffee before agreeing to come asking me about the mascarade. I place Karen on speakerphone and we talk about where and when we would meet.

Time skip

We had decided to meet at a small shop owned by a sweet old lady in my building. When Karen arrived she brought a list of things we need and colors that would match my skin tone and she mentioned that Matt and Foggy were doing out for new, nice suits for the party.

Walking into the shop and saw dresses lining the walls and tables full of jewelry and masks that are surrounded by glass. As I looked around I wandered towards the black dresses looking through I was drawn to a dress that reminded me of Persophone from the story of the Seasons by the Greeks. I smile as I let my hand drift over the material it was a soft and simple dress. As I picked it up and brought it to the dressing rooms. I slipped it on and smiled it made me feel beautiful and defined my waist making my body dysmorphia for once feel silent.

As I walked out to show Karen and Alisa I received silent, shocked looks as I twirled awkwardly. I smiled at my friends as their shock turned into utter excitement. They ran over to me from Mrs. Talat a small Indian-Hispanic woman as they raved about the dress. Quickly Karen walked over to the shoes grabbed a pair of beautiful black heels handing them to me to put them on. As I looked at them we smiled.

"Now for the mask, we need to get one for you and Matt because I told Foggy we would get some for them and us" As she walked over to one of the glass cases I walked back into the changing rooms and change back into my normal clothes.

Walking out I bring the dress and shoes back over to the counter before walking over to the case. next to Karen as we talk for a moment until Alisa calls me over revealing a set of two beautiful black masks with subtle hints of red. Mrs. Talat opens the case and hands them to me. As I held it in my hands I was surprised at how light it was.

I brought them to the counter and placed them in the dress and shoes. Before turning back to Karen. "We need to find you your outfit now" I smiled as we walked over to the dresses this time walking to the blues. Looking for something that matches her well. Finally finding a structured dress that I knew would look good on her. She brought it to the Dressing room as I looked for shoes that would look good with the dress.

Looking through I was disappointed until Alisa grabbed a pair of heels from a shelf I hadn't seen. I smiled nodding and grabbing them from Alisa. "These are perfect for her and they literally match the dress perfectly" I quickly brought them to the fitting room handing them to Karen through the curtain meant to be a door.

As she walked out my jaw dropped not completely sure how she could be this pretty. I glanced at Alisa seeing her drool a tiny bit making me laugh as I elbowed her softly in the ribs. I smiled as Alisa gave me a death glare.

I walked over to the case and looked for a beautiful mask and found something perfect for Karen and Foggy. Once Karen approved she walked back into the changing room to get changed into her jeans and t-shirt from before. Mrs. Talat rang up everything once they were all at the counter.

I smiled as we choose to spend the rest of the day hanging out. We went and got food before coming back to the apartment to watch a movie.

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