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dominimoonbeam · 1 year

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Is This Real?

To @thatlesbeanjew. I love your ALL CAPS, your kick-the-door-in energy, your tough-girl/soft-core soul, ready to go to bat for everyone even though the weight of it would hurt, I see you and I know why you like Darlin hurt/comfort the way I like Darlin hurt/comfort.

Darlin/Sam. Darlin&David. Darlin&Pack.

After being attacked by a dream walker, Darlin is trapped in a nightmare.

tags: dreamscape violence and terror, hurt/comfort, angst, pack feels, dreamscape quinn, dreamscape character death, SERIOUSLY dark nightmare, be warned.

Elliot cameo! I think this is my first time writing Elliot...

Is This Real?

Darlin stood in the hospital hallway, the harsh lights on the white walls and floors impossibly bright and the voices and machines slamming their eardrums until they swayed on their feet.

They closed their eyes, trying to focus—trying to make the world settle.

“You should go,” Asher said, barely pushing the words up from his chest.

Darlin opened their eyes and stared at him. He didn’t look back. He wouldn’t, his jaw tight and his gaze fixed on something through the doorway down the hall. His hands were curled into fists and his eyes swollen from the tears that still rolled down his face. He shook and Darlin knew it was grief and rage mixing into something toxic.

They took a step closer, reaching for him.

They froze, their hand bright red with blood.

No.

They looked down at themself and the reddish brown soaked into their shirt and smeared on their jeans. A handprint on their arm where the little boss had grabbed on.

It came crashing back to them.

They’d found them, not anywhere they belonged, but right there in Darlin’s own apartment, left like a card, a love letter written in blood.

Their chest squeezed, tears blurring their vision. They had carried them to the hospital. They had tried…

David slumped out of the hospital room and into Asher, his beta holding him up. Asher spoke fast, lips pulled back from teeth in a snarl even as he tried to soothe his friend.

Darlin took a step back, pulse high in their throat, choking them.

No.

Nonono.

David swung his head to the side and locked his gaze on them. He pushed off of Asher and started toward them, taking up the whole hallway.

Darlin stumbled back another step, crying harder. They could smell alpha mini’s death, in the way the blood scent had turned and the sheer agony in David’s core. He was broken and Darlin had broken him, had ruined everything, had brought all of this to his doorstep.

He knew it too. He had tried so hard to deny it until then—to pretend that Darlin was just another member of his pack… that he could fix them, protect them, love them.

He grabbed the front of their jacket just when they were about to fall, hauling them up higher and then slamming them against the wall. Darlin almost grabbed at his wrists but stopped short, Angel’s blood still on their hands. They couldn’t touch him with that. They wouldn’t.

“It’s your fault!” he roared.

He let go and they stayed standing long enough for him to punch them, bouncing their head off the wall.

They wanted it to hurt, wanted it to knock them out, but they were numb. The punch had an echo, every punch like it rippling across their mind. A dozen punches like it, head hitting different walls each time.

They sagged down to their knees and blinked blearily. Hardwood, not tile. Dark house, not bright hospital.

“It’s your own fault,” Quinn said, smiling around the words, as if it was more amusing than frustrating.

Darlin looked up, mouth bleeding from his knuckles. Where had everyone else gone? How had they gotten there? And how had he? “What?”

He pulled them to their feet and curled some of their hair behind an ear, flicking his gaze over the side of their neck just like he always had. A jolt of panic shot through them. No. Not this again. When had he come back? Why were they in that old apartment again? “You’re such a fuck up…” he cooed and then fisted his hand in the back of their hair and pulled them into him.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t known the job would be dangerous. There were threats made and Shaw Security took that seriously. They had been hired to protect the client while they were in Dahlia. They had been prepared for the possibility of attacks. They had planned for all sorts of empowered threats.

They just hadn’t been ready for a dream walker.

They split up just the way they had planned to in this scenario, Milo and David and a few others taking the client to a secure location while Asher, Darlin, and half a dozen of the pack hunted down the runners. Rabbits, as Darlin like to call them.

Asher loved when Darlin called them rabbits. It always sent a shiver along his spine, urging him to shift and chase.

They had two runners after they brought down three attackers on sight, before splitting up. Darlin peeled off after one, the one with a quiet core, while the others closed in on the air elemental.

The wind kicked up as the asshole tried to get away.

Asher was about to turn to help the others with the elemental, certain that Darlin could pick off that one on their own, but just before he did, they fell.

Darlin fell.

Not tumbled or collapsed. They fell.

One second they were running on all fours, the nightmare powerhouse they had been since they were a teen, and the next they dropped into the grass in human form.

He would never forget the way they hit the ground.

For one horrific second, Asher thought they were dead. Just dead. Like a reaper had reached out and taken them.

It was like someone had thrown a switch and their lights went out.

He couldn’t see the empowered they were chasing anywhere nearby. He shifted when he reached them, on his knees over them and gently rolling them onto their back. Breathe. Breathe. Please, god—

Darlin twitched, breathing, eyes moving behind closed lids.

Asher exhaled relief so hard that his chest hurt. He grabbed their shoulders and gave them a shake. What the hell was wrong with them?

They didn’t wake.

The wind thrashed between the buildings, twirling leaves and litter up into the air. He could hear the others communicating with one another, coordinating their attack as they struggled to bring down the air elemental.

Asher gave Darlin another shake. “Wake up!” he snapped. He couldn’t leave them like that, and as much as he wanted to make sure things went well for the others, the panic in his chest had yet to abate over Darlin’s state. Why—

Darlin twitched, it was small at first, like a muscle shaking out, and then they kicked and groaned deep in their throat, like they were trying to twist away from some awful pain.

Oh fuck.

Dream walker, he told the others over their link.

“Darlin?” Asher tried again, holding their shoulders. He looked around, trying to spot the dream walker. They could still be close. He could find them… But then he’d have to leave Darlin alone and unprotected. No. Absolutely not.

Asher growled, trapped. “Buddy, you gotta wake up…”

Darlin didn’t.

Christian howled in triumph when they brought the air elemental down, wind still thrashing but higher and less focused now.

Darlin strained and kicked their boots, like they were running or fighting. Their arms shot up, clawing at their own neck. Asher grabbed them and pushed them down but that only made Darlin breathe faster and struggle harder.

“No. Nonono,” Asher ground out, pulling the other wolf into his arms until he had their back to his chest and his arms pinning theirs to their sides. “Wake up. Please, please, wake up.”

They didn’t.

But they did start screaming.

Asher had never heard them scream before. He’d never even heard them cry, but soon they were begging, and he felt a rising sick in his chest.

Chrissy got there first, the others trussing up their captive elemental and delivering them to the authorities. The wolf shifted and stared down at Asher and Darlin, his mouth hanging open in some sort of terrified confusion.

Asher growled. “Call David,” he snapped, arms still clamped around Darlin to hold them as they struggled and choked on fear. He couldn’t send Chrissy to look for the dream walker—couldn’t risk this happening to him too. But he didn’t know what to do or how to make this stop. “Call David!” he shouted, and Christian jumped, snapped out of his shock and fumbling his phone from his pocket.

Asher nuzzled his head into the side of Darlin’s, even as their screams made his ears ring in pain. “You’re okay. You’re okay,” he promised, praying that they could hear him on some level. What was happening in their head? What the fuck had that dream walker done? “Hang in there, Darlin. You’re okay. No one’s getting to you. Nothing is happening. You’re okay.”

Darlin couldn’t get away.

His arms were around them, holding them to him, his teeth in their neck and their blood everywhere.

They were back in the old apartment. That wasn’t right. None of this was right, but they couldn’t get a thought clear of the panic and the pain. How had they ended up there? When had he come back?

He squeezed them and their ribs cracked, making it impossible to breathe. He sucked at their neck, at their life, like a leech.

“You’re okay,” they heard Asher’s voice saying, calling, whispering, screaming. But they didn’t feel okay. They felt like their heart was going to beat right out of their chest and they would be relieved to see it go.

Wait.

Asher?

They had been on a job with Asher. They had been chasing some rabbit and… and…

“Darlin?” Sam said softly, his breath against their cheek, his arms around them.

Their head felt light, and they relaxed into him. Sam was safe. Sam would fix whatever this was and…

His tongue stroked up their ravaged neck, his chest rumbling behind their back. “I always knew you’d taste amazing.”

Darlin choked on a cry and struggled anew, kicking and thrashing to get out of his arms, to see him. It couldn’t be Sam. It had to be a trick. It had to be…

He laughed like he had a hundred times before, like they’d just said something funny.

They practically fell out of his lap, crawling away and twisting around. Sam smiled at them, their blood still on his lips and chin. He moved languidly, like Sam but also like Quinn. He crawled after them, like this was a game.

“No… No!” Darlin screamed, twisting around and trying to get up. He grabbed them by the hair and pulled them back to him, his breath on their ear.

“You’re mine.”

Darlin swore, hesitating to throw an elbow because it was Sam. Their Sam. Wasn’t it? No. No, how could it be? He would never do this.

He let go and they fell forward, landing on hardwood. The light shifted and they felt a wave of dizziness again. They weren’t in their apartment anymore. They were… They…

Darlin got up on shaky legs and looked around at the empty living room. David’s house. They had never seen it empty before. “Dav—” they started, choking on his name and coughing hard. They tasted blood and their hand flew to their neck, finding it still ripped open. Only, it was so much worse than it had ever been before. They stumbled to the wall mirror and stared at themself—at the grotesque side of their neck. It had been scars before but now it looked like every scar had been a bite take out of them, not spread over years of their life but all at once. They couldn’t still be alive…

A floorboard creaked down the hall. They gravitated toward it, desperate to find someone—to find David. He would tell them what to do. He would know. They stumbled down the hall, grabbing at the wall and knocking over photos of the pack, of David and alpha mini.

They practically fell through the bedroom door, knees hitting the plush carpet and feeling it sink soggily under them like mud.

The little boss was right there in front of them, on the floor, with a neck to match their own only… only they weren’t moving. Darlin gasped for air, tears making their vision swim. This couldn’t be real…but they could smell the blood and David’s mate was right there.

“What have you done?” David screamed and Darlin jumped.

He fell over his mate, his face rippling in pain and betrayal, and through the fog of terror and fear, they felt like they had been here before. Déjà vu.

“No. I… David, please…” Darlin tried, one blood-wet hand going to their head. This didn’t make sense. They didn’t understand.

“How could you do this to me? I trusted you! I loved you!” He shifted and lunged for them, and Darlin couldn’t even think to shift and defend. All they could do was cower and scream as he ripped them apart. They felt small and helpless, unable to get away or make it stop.

And then everything went black.

“Darlin?” Sam’s voice fluttered against their senses. Far away. “Darlin, hang on. You’re okay,” he said.

Darlin stayed curled up, hands over their head and forehead to the floor, just like when they were a kid. Stay down and wait it out. Disappear.

“Can you hear me, Darlin?” Sam asked, his voice full of worry.

They could still smell David’s mate’s blood. They could still hear the way his voice broke like an echo of his heart. They could still feel his teeth.

“Please, you need to wake up.”

His hand stroked up their back, so gentle, like they were breakable in a way that was so much more real than bones and skin. “Hey. There you are,”

Darlin opened their eyes. They weren’t curled up anymore. They were lying on their back in the bed they shared with Sam, in their apartment.

His smile was full of relief and his face drawn with exhaustion. He cupped their face gently. “Oh, thank god, Darlin. You had me scared.”

Darlin swallowed and this time didn’t taste blood. They inhaled deeply but didn’t smell any either. Sam took their hand, holding it in both of his. “Take it easy. You were attacked by a dream walker.”

Dream walker.

Darlin nodded slowly, sitting up.

Sam scooted back to give them room, his hands always on them. “You were out for a few days.”

“Days…” Somehow it had felt like an hour and like lifetimes.

“I’m sorry, Darlin. There was no other way to get you out.”

“What?” Darlin looked around. They didn’t feel right. They felt jittery and light. Too much healing magic, maybe? They touched their shirt and their neck. No blood and no new wounds.

“I had to do it,” Sam said, his voice full of remorse. The sound of it had Darlin reaching for him automatically, wanting to reassure him that whatever it was, it was okay. They never wanted him to feel bad. “When you died the dream stopped and you were able to wake up.”

Darlin went still. “What?” They looked around the apartment again. “Where…Where’s David? I need to talk to David…”

Sam held their hand tighter. “Oh, Darlin… I’m sorry. He doesn’t want to see you.”

Darlin tried to pull their hand from his, to press at that growing ache in their head, but Sam didn’t let go. “What? No… He’s…”

“Asher died trying to protect you,” Sam said, voice still so full of gentle worry. “He couldn’t leave you while you were unconscious, so he couldn’t get away. He was all alone. Shaw said you can’t come back to the pack.”

Darlin shook, trying to absorb everything but it was too much. Asher was dead?

Sam pulled them into him, wrapping his arms around them no matter how they tensed and tried to lean away from him. “It’s okay. It’s for the best. It’s not like you could go back to them now anyway.” He stroked them like he was soothing, pulling them into his arms until their back was to his chest and his breath on their neck. “Do you want me to make it better? I can make you forget. I can make you do anything…”

“What? No!” This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be Sam. He would never… They tried to get up. He pulled them back down, arms like restraints now. Like before. Before.

They were still dreaming. There really had been a dream walker.

The job. They had been on that job with Asher.

They cringed, imagining him dying because they were unconscious. It was true, wasn’t it? He wouldn’t leave them like that. He would have to stay and defend them. No! No, that might not have happened. That was the dream.

Was it?

Fuck!

Quinn kissed their neck, his arms around them. Not Sam anymore. “You always ruin things…” he cooed like something sweet.

Darlin shuddered with the effort not to struggle. It wasn’t real.

“Oh, don’t fight it,” he said, but it wasn’t exactly him now.

Darlin stayed very still.

He bit their neck again, but his blunt teeth only threatened to bruise. He laughed. “Man, you’re so fucked up, I barely even had to do anything. I just nudged and let you go on your own…”

The dream walker.

“He really is dead though, your friend, the one that came when you went down… Asher.”

Darlin choked back a cry, trying so hard not to believe him, not to see Asher’s body suddenly on the ground next to them.

He knew Asher’s name, they realized. He knew it because he was in their head. What else had they given away? What else could be used against them?

He smiled against their neck. “You mean, do I know all the weak spots in your pack now? Yeah, I do. Human mates and a temperamental alpha? One dead human and your pack would collapse…”

Darlin bit into their tongue. Even if it wasn’t real, it felt real and it tasted real. They focused on all of that to keep from thinking about how wrong this dream walker was. He was taking their feelings for reality. David wasn’t temperamental just because Darlin was terrified of falling out with him. That was them, not him, but they’d already given this enemy enough.

“I can’t stay and play all day,” he said, squeezing them to him. “So, let’s settle you into a long-term situation.”

His hands shifted, changing size and shape against their skin. “Who do you want to stay with, Darlin?” he asked, voice changing between Sam and Quinn, between David and Asher. “What nightmare should I leave you in?”

Darlin bit their tongue again, trying not to give anything away, not even letting themself think about which idea was worse. How long was long-term? How long would they be in this nightmare?

“It’ll be better this way,” he whispered sweetly. “I’m going to kill your alpha’s mate and he’s going to know it was you who made that possible. If you ever wake up, you’ll have to face a real nightmare.”

Darlin gasped, trying to get up and turn around, trying to lunge for him, but he was gone and they were suddenly alone on the floor of their old apartment.

The door thumped with three heavy knocks that shook the wall and fear cut through Darlin so fast and so deep that they forgot it was a dream—they forgot about the dream walker—all they knew was that something awful was on the other side of that door.

A fist slammed the other side and the wood splintered.

Darlin kicked the floor to slide back, away from it, but there was nowhere to go.

Another knock and the walls cracked. It was coming through.

Darlin closed their eyes and curled up.

The dream walker blinked a few times, rolling his shoulders and refocusing on the world around him, the real world.

From his spot, he could just barely see where Darlin had fallen and the other wolf, Asher, was still holding them. There had been a third, but he had left. He wasn’t even looking for the dream walker, having gone the wrong way.

He laughed to himself, clawing a shaking hand through his hair. He’d spent a lot of energy on that wolf. He could have been sparser in his use of magic. He didn’t have to weave so many stories, delves so deep into their fears, or build that final repeat construct to keep them under. But it would make for a good distraction. They’d have to find another dream walker to undo that mess, and a good one at that.

Still shaking, head throbbing, he took a step back and finally turned. Time to get some distance and regroup. Stopping had been a risk but it had also been fun. Teach that dog not to snap teeth at him again…

Not that they would have a chance.

His head was still buzzing from the mess in theirs.

Were all wolves that fucked up? It was almost too easy to torture them. He didn’t really have to make anything up—just make everything they were thinking take form.

He rounded another corner, daylight too bright for his headache. He needed to rest and recover and then get the fuck out of town before—

He almost walked right into a wall, coming up short and jerking his head back because it wasn’t a wall at all. It was a person. A huge person. He blinked up into that familiar face, for a second remembering him the way Darlin had, and David looked like a fucking titan. Before the dream walker could react more than to inhale and begin to reach up—begin to pull at his already exhausted core—one meaty fist slammed into his face and knocked him on his ass on the pavement.

A stealth slapped a power dampening cuff on him, materializing as they did.

Well, damn.

“Make him fix it,” Asher growled, pacing the living room.

Darlin was on their bed down the hall, but the door was open. No one had said anything about it, but somehow everyone, even Sam, knew not to close it. They needed eyes on Darlin. They needed to be close and looking out of them.

David had his arms folded and his head down, jaw so tight that it looked painful.

“No,” Sam said, shaking his head. “We can’t let him in their head again.”

They hadn’t woken up. The asshole was across town in a cell and they still hadn’t woken up.

“I’ve called a friend of mine, a dream walker,” Stealth said.

“Does he work for DUMP?” Asher asked.

They shook their head. “Private contractor. I’ve known him for years. He’s really good.”

Sam nodded.

It had been a few hours and the sun was still up. They had taken Darlin to a department clinic first, expecting the healers to be able to wake them up, but when they hadn’t and they admitted that they had no idea how to, David had picked Darlin up and carried them back out. The whole pack was there by then.

They’d driven Darlin home to Sam. It was only right, since Sam couldn’t come to them.

Asher wondered if Sam knew they wouldn’t be leaving until Darlin woke up. They couldn’t.

“When will your friend get here?” David asked, voice tight.

Stealth sagged. “A couple hours.”

Asher bit his tongue to keep from growling. It wasn’t Stealth’s fault.

David and Sam both nodded, but neither was looking up.

They all heard Darlin gasping in the other room, like they were drowning. They did that almost every thirty minutes. Was it the same dream on repeat?

Milo was in there with them, his voice a low constant murmur reassuring them like each of them had, just in case it made it through the nightmare.

Sam was going out of his mind listening to them in pain, feeling the tug on his core that told them they were hurting, they were in danger, they were scared. He could do nothing. He stood there, digging fingers into his own arms, and watching David sit with Darlin on the bed, touching their head and telling them it was going to be okay—that they were safe.

Sam was relieved when David had taken up the position after Milo, and he hated himself for that relief. But he knew, to some degree, what Darlin’s nightmares would be. He knew. And the idea that they might feel his hands on them only to have their brain turn it into someone else…into something else…turned his gut in a way that nearly brought him to his knees.

He was so grateful that the pack had brought Darlin home to him, rather than anywhere else. He would have had to wait for sundown to see them and as bad as listening to their struggle was, being apart from them would be a thousand times worse.

Milo, Asher, and a few others were in the living room. The front door was constantly opening and closing. Sam didn’t care. He stayed in the bedroom, back to the wall, watching Darlin—trying to will them to wake up.

He sensed the dream walker when Stealth brought him down the hallway toward the open bedroom door.

It felt like a wake, Sam realized with a jolt of horror. The room was dim and Darlin was laid out on the bed. They all spoke softly and carefully, walking around grief.

David didn’t get up to greet the dream walker. He didn’t budge from that spot on the bed next to Darlin, his back to the headboard, but he thanked him for coming. It sounded difficult for him to say but Sam was grateful he’d done it, because he couldn’t quite look at the dream walker himself—afraid he’d react badly if he did—afraid he’d treat this man badly for the crimes of another.

Sam squeezed his own arms, leaving bruises that healed and bruised over and over.

Elliot, was this dream walker’s name.

He inched closer to the bed. Everyone tensed.

Elliot stopped short, lifting one hand in a replica of surrender. He had been aiming to sit on the bed but that wasn’t necessary and obviously not welcomed. “I don’t need contact,” he assured. They were scared. It wasn’t often he did work with any wolves, let alone scared ones. And he hadn’t dared to look at the vampire in the corner and try to figure out what he was doing there.

It didn’t matter.

He was just there to undo whatever that other dream walker had done.

Elliot would have to be oblivious not to realize just how distrusting everyone but the Stealth had been of him. He understood. They were only letting him into their space, and into their friend’s head, because they had no other options.

He sat down slowly, settling on the floor with his back to the wall.

He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, and then on the breathing of the werewolf on the bed…not the alpha, not the vamp in the corner, not the stealth near the door. The room quieted, emptying out.

And then he opened his eyes. He was in a different apartment. An empty apartment. He got up and started walking. He wouldn’t have to search, he would naturally move toward them. It was their mind.

There was an oiliness to the construct, a wrongness of something created in a rush.

Something thumped down the hall. The dream had the vibe of a horror flick. He could almost hear the music, the tension physical in the air and pulling at his chest. It was designed to cause terror even before knowing why—to help make the dream feel real, to keep the dreamer from being able to think clearly and make sense of it.

Elliot hated horror flicks.

Sunshine liked to tease him about it.

He pushed that thought away. It wasn’t smart to think about Sunshine or himself in a place like this.

He stepped into the main room and froze.

The door was busted in and hanging sideways on the one hinge that held on, blocking the exit into a void beyond.

There was blood on the floor, and scuff marks, and cracks like something had been slammed down into it again and again.

He found them in the corner, and they weren’t alone.

A vampire. Not the one in the room with them, at least.

Quinn.

He had never heard the name before, never met the vampire, but he knew because Darlin knew—because it was built into the web of this construct. He had teeth in their neck, bent on draining them. Again, Elliot realized. This was a loop. How many times had it played out?

“Stop.” The word jumped out of him, powers flexing to make it a command against this dreamscape. It would be easy to stop a true dream, to change it and rearrange it, but this wasn’t a true dream. It ground slowly to a stop, like being hit by a wave that slowed and slowed until it finally froze.

The wolf jerked free of the vampire while he was frozen and fell over onto their side, curling up with one arm over their head.

Elliot clenched his teeth and took a step forward, not reshaping but peeling back the dreamscape and erasing it a piece at a time. First the vessel. He wasn’t a threat anymore, but the sight was grotesque. The other dream walker had taken someone Darlin was already afraid of and made them unstoppable. It was so cruel.

“My name is Elliot. I’m going to fix this.”

Once the vessel was deconstructed the rest came apart pretty easily, but Elliot was meticulous in getting rid of every bit of it. He crouched on the floor near the wolf. Darlin. He could feel their name in here. He got rid of their wounds, and the moved them to another room, to the room they were in in real life, only now it was just the two of them.

Darlin hadn’t moved, had stayed curled on their side, arms protecting their face and neck. It looked automatic.

Elliot waited. They weren’t waking up. They were just…waiting.

“Darlin?” he asked gently.

Nothing. He could feel the stillness of their mind around them. They had retreated.

“You were attacked,” he explained, looking for some recognition and trying to jar them into a sense of reality. Any sense of reality. “You’re dreaming right now. It’s time to wake up.”

Nothing.

Oh god.

Elliot leaned down, almost laying his cheek to the floor to bring his face level with theirs. He wasn’t sure if he should add the voices from their pack in the other room or not. Would it confuse them more to see more dream? Maybe. “My name is Elliot,” he said again. “I’m a friend of Stealth. Your pack asked me to help get you out of this. They caught the dream walker that attacked you. Everyone is okay.”

Their eyes flicked toward him then but that was it. No reaction. At least it was something.

“You’re in this apartment.” It was their apartment, he knew now. Theirs and the vampire in the corner out there in reality. Sam. He knew these things because he was in their mind but saying it could be jarring and intrusive. It was polite to pretend not to know until he was told. “You’re safe now. You can wake up.”

Darlin stared at him, far away.

His heart broke for them. “You just need to wake up.”

Darlin closed their eyes and didn’t wake up.

They might wake from external stimuli now, if someone in the waking world were to give them a shake or maybe go so far as to prick them with a needle. But that could do more damage than waking on their own. They might have trouble believing they were awake. They might already... He had seen the layers of the dreamscape before the loop. The other walker had made them think they had woken up before. Darlin didn’t trust it anymore, didn’t trust that he wasn’t just the same dream walker or another part of the construct.

“I get it, I do. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can give you another dream if you want? Something nice?”

They jerked a little, like he’d threatened them.

“Or we could just wake up?”

They cringed, pressing their eyes shut.

He waited, sitting with them in that quiet space. He could feel them thinking but he didn’t press into those thoughts—didn’t try to hear them for himself. It might be helpful, but it would also be another invasion and he wasn’t sure Darlin could take that.

“Your alpha and your mate are both in the room with us… in the waking world. Your pack seems really nice. I saw a lot of them in the building on my way into the building. They’re all really worried about you.”

Darlin didn’t move.

Elliot waited.

Darlin sighed. “How do I know it’s real?” they whispered.

Elliot’s heart ached. They sounded so tired. They should have been crying and screaming after what he’d walked in on, but they were just…tired. “I know it’s hard. I know it’s a lot. But I promise this time you really will wake up. Right now, it still feels real, but the farther you get from it, the more it’ll feel like just a nightmare—just like any other nightmare. And if you want, I can build you a maze to make it hard for a dream walker to get in again.” It wasn’t likely they would need it. This had been bad luck. Wrong place wrong time wrong enemy. But Elliot built lots of people mazes and walls. He was paid well for it. He would do it for free for Darlin if it helped them feel safer.

Darlin opened their eyes and looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. They were weighing their options and trying to convince themself to trust him. “Everyone is okay?” they asked again.

Elliot got the terrible sense that if they weren’t all okay, Darlin might not be interested in waking up. “Yes. Just really worried about you.” He was glad he didn’t have to lie.

Darlin sighed, tense like they were preparing for another fall, but they nodded once. “Okay. Wake me up then.”

David hadn’t moved from where he sat on the bed, one hand on Darlin’s shoulder, listening to their heartbeat and the way their breath caught sometimes. They had been running through a cycle since they brought them to the Department clinic, and for the first time that had changed. They hadn’t gasped and jerked the way they usually did at this point. Something had changed and their breathing had evened out.

Sam stayed where he was, focus fixed on Darlin.

David wasn’t sure how he managed to keep that distance. He held himself like he was restraining himself. Did he think he couldn’t come closer while David was there? Did he think he had to wait his turn to sit with them? David distantly wondered if he should be giving up his spot beside Darlin to their mate. He wouldn’t have cared if Sam pressed in or took up the spot on the other side of them. But David couldn’t give up nearness himself. He needed to be close to them. He needed to know they were safe. It was instinct and love. Darlin was his pack, his family, and he was so deeply responsible for their life that the idea of them never waking was a knife twisting in his chest. There was no way it wouldn’t be his fault, there was no way even if it absolutely wasn’t his fault that he could feel anything but crushing loss.

He had never tried to explain it to anyone, but it had been one of the reasons he was afraid of being alpha after his dad passed. Every loss, even natural deaths by age, felt like having a piece cut out of him.

Sam jerked a step closer to the bed, away from the wall, drawing David’s focus for a split second before he felt it too. Darlin was awake.

The dream walker sighed, eyes opening and head tipping from one side to the other to stretch.

Darlin’s eyes opened slowly, but they didn’t move at first, just casting their gaze warily around the room. They tensed the instant they registered David’s hand on their shoulder, but he didn’t move it.

The dream walker got up, looking at them but not trying to get closer.

“Troublemaker?” David spoke first, voice shaking a little.

Darlin nodded once, tightly, but didn’t quite look at him. “Everyone… Is everyone…”

David sighed heavily, almost laughing. “You’re worried about the others? They’re fine.”

Sam finally unfolded his arms, letting himself go. He came closer to the other side of the bed, dropping to his knees beside it and sliding his arms along the bed, toward them but not quite touching. Sam never touched without permission or confirmation of some kind that it was wanted. David had noticed it over the years. Wolves wanted contact, craved it and spoke through it sometimes, but in a lot of ways, he was glad Sam was so careful with Darlin.

Sam and Darlin looked at one another. In any other situation, David would have at the very least looked away. Darlin nodded once and Sam exhaled hard, his arms stretching to close the distance and his hands settling against their arm and side.

Footfalls beat up the hallway.

David groaned. “Ash—” he started but it was too late.

Asher burst through the doorway, narrowly dodging Stealth, and threw himself onto the bed. “Fucking, finally!” He practically crawled on top of Darlin, pawing their head and shoulders like he was checking again for injuries. “Where the hell have you been? Do you know how scared I was?” he went on, until Darlin was squirming under him, half-heartedly shoving his hands away. Until Darlin huffed a thin laugh that broke into a sob. Asher hugged them, messing up their hair and nuzzling their head, letting them cry under him and between David and Sam, like it would contain them, like they were safe.

As much as Asher drove him nuts sometimes, he loved his beta.

After a while, Darlin dragged a few clear breaths and then shoved again at Asher. “Okay, get the fuck off me,” they grumbled.

Elliot and Stealth had slipped out of the room, David realized.

Milo was at the door, waiting.

Asher flopped back onto the foot of the bed, still across Darlin and David’s legs. He opened his arms to Milo. “Come on, you want in on this too, right? How often do we get to pile on Darlin?”

Milo hesitated, looking at Darlin’s grumpy pout.

“Don’t you dare,” Darlin growled, but it didn’t have any edge to it.

Even Sam was trying not to laugh.

David nodded once and Milo jumped onto the bed, crawling over Asher to bop his head against Darlin’s.

“Just get used to it,” David muttered. The whole pack was going to try to get close to Darlin today, instinct driving them to confirm that they were okay.

Darlin huffed like they hated it, but he felt them relaxing. David understood, because he would have done the same. Even if he craved the contact of his pack, he would grumble about being fussed over.

Darlin wasn’t what was real, but they knew they wanted this to be.

They ended up in the living room, hearing the stories of what had happened with the other elemental, the dream walker, and the client who was now safely out of Dahlia and off their hands. They let others push food and water at them and pretended not to notice when they leaned against them, touched their back or their head, or thumped their temples to theirs. They pretended to be annoyed, but really they wanted to cry with relief.

They almost did when they saw alpha mini. It was like the moment they’d seen Asher come rushing into the room. Safe. Alive. Nothing like what they’d seen in their nightmare.

And Elliot had been right about the nightmare, it was getting foggier the longer they were awake.

But every so often Darlin jumped at a touch or a sound, afraid that the foot had dropped and this false sense of safety and happiness was about to be turned on them.

Sam didn’t say much, but he stayed close, and they worried he saw everything. He always saw through them, even if he didn’t always call them out.

Eventually everyone was gone and it was just the two of them.

The next few days were weird. Darlin couldn’t sleep. Or maybe they wouldn’t sleep… They had tried, really, but they just lay there awake.

On the first day, they cut their hair for the first time since they met Sam. They cut it short. Real short. Short like it had been when they met him, short enough that it would be hard for anyone to get a grip on those strands. He stared for long seconds when he first saw it, and Darlin worried he’d put pieces together and somehow see their nightmare in their eyes.

But he just smiled softly and told them he liked it, asked to touch it, and ran his palm along the side of their head.

On the second day, Sam came up behind them, wrapping his arms around them, and they just about jumped across the room.

He stared at them and they stared back. He didn’t move closer or reach for them. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” they said just as fast as he asked. They’d almost forgotten the details of the nightmare until it all came flooding back. Quinn’s arms. Sam’s arms. Their teeth. No. Nope. Did not want to talk about that shit.

Sam nodded slowly. “Okay. But Darlin…”

The way he rolled their name always made them calm and flustered in the best way. It was different than how anyone else said it. They gravitated to him again, reaching for his hand but waiting until he reached back, their fingers tangling. “I’m—”

“Don’t apologize,” Sam nearly pleaded. “You don’t have to talk about anythin’ you don’t want to, but you can. Even if it’s bad. Even if… it’s me.”

Darlin’s gaze flicked up to his. They shouldn’t have been surprised he’d guessed that.

He almost managed to hide the cringe when he saw confirmation in their eyes.

Almost.

They had to bite their tongue to keep from apologizing. It wasn’t his fault, but it wasn’t theirs either.

“If you want space—”

“No,” Darlin said, squeezing his hand.

His shoulders slumped in relief.

Darlin stepped closer, right into his chest. No one had ever loved them the way Sam did and they couldn’t imagine loving anyone more. “It was just a dream,” they said, trying to believe that this wasn’t part of that anymore. It would get easier, that was what Elliot had said. That anxious feeling would fade and reality would feel real again.

And he was right.

Eventually they stopped thinking about it.

Eventually they made jokes about it.

Eventually, months later, sitting in Sam’s lap with his mouth gently dropping kisses against their neck, they would tell him that it was impossible not to think they were dreaming when he was always acting like that. And they would feel his smile against their skin and know that it was real, because only the real Sam smiled like that, felt like that, and made them feel like that.

#long fic #redactedverse #hurt/comfort #angst #seriously dark nightmare #darlin/sam #darlin&david #PACK FEELS #but a really messed up nightmare #dream walkers are scary #except for Elliot because we love him #fanfic #dominimoonbeam

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dominimoonbeam · 2 years

Text

Nothing. Everything. I don’t know. Part 2

2nd and final part of the Hux/Darlin fic!

Darlin isn’t sure if they’re dating Huxley or just roommates with benefits and does the unthinkable...they go to David for advice.

Poor Davey.

tags: past abuse, past bad relationships, protective davey, talking about Quinn, angst, hurt/comfort, relationship negotiation

Nothing. Everything. I don’t know. Part 2

David stood at the grill, just out of reach of the splashes from the pool. Asher let some of the kids try to gang up on him, using their collective force to push him right to the edge before he stopped stumbling and just started hoisting them up one after the other and tossing them into the water.

Angel had put a stack of towels on one of the lawn chairs when people first started showing up—knowing that someone always ended up going in that hadn’t planned to.

David was really happy with their home, for them and because it gave the pack someplace to gather outside the den. There was nothing wrong with the den, of course, but it was sometimes a formal setting and sometimes a business setting—not always the best place for relaxing and just being together. His dad had told him that, that it would be his job to be aware of how spaces affected the pack and make sure to give them the right ones to grow in.

He heard Milo’s voice rise in the house when someone new came through the door. Darlin. Darlin hadn’t gone to these get togethers before the Quinn shit went down. Their parents had never been willing to go to anything that wasn’t required and then, eventually, not even those. Darlin was an example of what happened when they only met for formal shit, only when things were serious or a problem. It got to the point that Darlin expected to be in trouble when David talked to them. He had born that because he had to—to get them to a better place.

Which was why it had meant so much that they’d come to him on their own with a problem. So he wasn’t going to mess this up. Unless Darlin had changed their mind, they were walking through his house with their current partner. They were trusting him to help them figure out what sort of relationship they were in. So, he was going to try really hard to do exactly that and not judge the absolute shit out of this elemental or run him the fuck off the property.

But all of that resolve strained when he actually saw the guy.

He was big.

Of course, he was.

David tried not to imagine Darlin and this guy in a fight—tried not to compare him to their previous partners—tried not to think of Quinn.

“You okay?” Angel asked, voice low at his side and attention inconspicuously on the burgers he hadn’t flipped yet. They tugged the spatula from his hand and took over.

“Yeah,” he nodded, watching Darlin and their elemental talking to Babe and Stealth.

“He looks nice,” Angel said, still in that whisper so it was just between them and still playing it casual like they didn’t know what he was thinking.

He grunted once.

Angel bumped their hip to his. “Big doesn’t always mean bad.”

He looked down at them, at first not even realizing they were referring to him—to them. The idea that anyone might have looked at them together and thought the shit he was thinking about this stranger made his stomach roll.

He huffed but bumped his hip to Angel’s gently in return, loving the way they smiled when he did.

He glanced over at Darlin and their date again. The guy was obviously nervous but really happy too. He was smiling and making Stealth laugh at something. He stood close to Darlin, not like he was trying to intimidate or steer them but like he was there for them, his hand brushing theirs. Darlin leaned into him and the elemental ducked his head to catch whatever they were saying to him. He nodded and Darlin slid away from his side—toward the table of drinks. They left him alone with Stealth and Babe.

Darlin was far from careless and though he knew they trusted Stealth’s abilities, he also knew Darlin would sooner cut off a limb than leave someone that might be dangerous with their mates. That small act of trust said so much about whatever their relationship was—whoever this guy was.

David caught Darlin’s eye just when they’d grabbed a couple beers, nodding his head. Darlin nodded back, glancing toward where they’d left their date before coming over to the grill. They looked guilty, like they were a kid about to get into trouble. He hoped someday he could call them over without making them look like that.

“Hey,” Darlin said and then looked at Angel, smiling soft and nodding again. “Alpha mini.”

Angel always preened at that nickname. Asher had started it. David pretended not to like it but it was all a show. He loved it—loved that they had always accepted and respected Angel the way they would a shifter at his side. “So, that’s the boyfriend?” Angel asked, nudging their chin in the elemental’s direction. “Couldn’t find one bigger?”

Darlin shrugged. It wasn’t like Darlin was petite, but it would be bullshit to pretend they were bigger than the guy they’d brought. Still, in a fight, David would always bet on Darlin. Always.

Before David could say anything, Stealth was bringing the newcomer over. They phased one of the beers right out of Darlin’s hand. The elemental laughed when Darlin growled but made peace quickly. “We can share,” he said, hand rubbing discreetly up and down Darlin’s back.

Darlin huffed but nodded, handing him the first sip. “Huxley, this is David Shaw. David this is Hux.”

The elemental smiled easily and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

David took his hand, looking him in the eye. He’d expected some cocky glint there—some squeeze to try to play for power—but there was nothing but openness and patience. David nodded. “You too. So, how long have you lived in Dahlia?”

He caught the way Darlin’s eyes widened, like they’d suddenly realized this was going to be a whole evening of grilling their partner. David smirked a little at that. Sucker. Between himself, Angel, Asher, and Milo, they were going to know this guy’s entire life story before sunset.

Darlin’s pack was so nice. They were welcoming and open, even when they didn’t know him at all. But Huxley couldn’t help but notice the differences between Darlin and the rest of their pack. They weren’t shy about showing skin and while there were a few scars in the mix, there was nothing like Darlins. Huxley had memorized every scar on their body, lots of cuts, some burns, and those bite scars from shoulder to ear on one side—more bites scattered all over. He’d worried it was a pack thing. He didn’t know much about shifters and had expected them all to be just as scarred as Darlin. He'd been afraid their dynamic would be violent, that they’d hurt each other—hurt his wolf.

He wanted to respect their ways and their choices but he couldn’t imagine being okay with that.

But after just ten minutes in the backyard, he knew that wasn’t the case. They were a family, one that clearly loved and cared for each other. Yes, the pack roughhoused a lot but it was only fun. He also noticed how that rough play never extended to Darlin. Oh, they still played and smiled and even sought contact, but no one was tackling or grabbing like they might with each other. It all screamed affection and love for Darlin, but it also screamed something else, didn’t it? Something bad.

They’d been asking Huxley every question in the book. He wasn’t stupid, even if he knew people thought that sometimes. He knew they were trying to figure him out, or get to know him, or maybe decide if he was good enough for Darlin.

He hoped he was.

He wanted to be.

It took him about ten minutes to realize Asher was on pool duty. He was so chill that Huxley didn’t realize it at first, but his gaze never left the water and the kids splashing around there, even while he was talking to him—asking him about his team and practice and shit.

Milo sidled up next to them but stayed on the opposite side of Huxley than Asher—either he was afraid Asher would push him in like he had three people since Huxley got there, or the two of them thought they might be able to toss him in if they worked together. Huxley almost smiled at the idea. Good luck. He’d been to enough pool parties with jocks to know how to avoid getting tossed.

Darlin laughed at something Angel said on the other side of the pool, the sound naturally drawing Huxley’s attention for a second. But then he realized it drew the attention of others too. Even Asher’s gaze left the pool for a second, his smile vanishing and eyes locking onto Darlin.

Milo exhaled hard. “Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Huxley asked.

Asher huffed a laugh and returned his attention to the kids, even grabbing up one trying to run around them and hurling him into the pool—the kid’s laughter loud before the splash and louder after he came back up.

“Nothing,” Milo promised with a smile. “Just we don’t usually hear them laugh like that. At best we can get a little huff and smirk.”

Huxley considered that. He heard Darlin laugh plenty, but he wasn’t unfamiliar with the huff and smirk either.

Asher was still laughing at the kid in the water when he stepped back to stand next to them and said, “Things have been getting better with Darlin since Quinn—”

Asher choked off whatever he was saying and Huxley felt both men freeze.

“Quinn?” the name rolled off Huxley’s tongue, new and unfamiliar.

Milo swore under his breath. Asher’s eyes cut to Huxley, meeting his gaze and then flashing away again. He looked toward Darlin, as if making sure they hadn’t heard, and then back to the pool—thinking. “What?” Asher exhaled, shaking his head. “Oh. It was just a bad time, but it was forever ago.”

Huxley nodded. He’d obviously stumbled onto something, but Asher looked so uncomfortable, almost hurt. “Is he someone in the pack?” Huxley asked.

Milo growled low next to him, like it wasn’t something he could control. “No. Just a bad vamp.” The words ground out, barely more than a whisper, like he didn’t want anyone around them to hear what they were talking about.

As much as Huxley wanted to ask more, he didn’t. It was clearly a bad topic and these guys had been so nice to him. Instead, he shrugged and changed the subject.

Asher laughed, lighting up with relief and clapping Huxley’s shoulder. Milo was quick to jump on the new topic too.

But Huxley glanced over at Darlin and thought about what a bad vampire could be like and suddenly, horribly, all those bites and razor smooth slashes carved into their skin made sense. The other pack members didn’t have scars like that because they weren’t wolf scars. They were vampire bites.

Quinn.

The barbeque had gone great. Darlin was so relieved, even if David hadn’t told them whether he thought they were in a relationship or not yet. Maybe they’d text him and ask? No. No embarrassing paper trail. They’d just go by his office next time and have another one of those god awful conversations about it.

But then, on the ride home, Hux got quiet. He was looking serious. All of Darlin’s certainty that this had gone well went out the window. They started rethinking the whole night. But no, nothing bad had happened and he had seemed to like everyone.

Everyone had definitely liked him.

When they got back to the apartment they walked upstairs in near silence.

He didn’t say anything until they’d unlocked the door and taken a couple steps in.

“Tough stuff…” he started and they knew this was bad. There was an unease there that just wasn’t usually in his voice. Ever. Oh god. They’d made shit weird. They weren’t dating and this was awkward now. Now he knew they’d thought that they were and absolutely didn’t want any part of that. And really, they didn’t blame him, but fuck this was going to be embarrassing. “I know there’s some stuff we don’t talk about…”

Darlin cringed but nodded, shoving hands into their pockets. “Yeah. Fuck.” This was exactly why people shouldn’t move in together. What happened now? Yes, the place was Darlin’s, but all this stuff that made it a home was definitely his. They felt like they should definitely be the one to leave and actually took a step back toward the door.

Huxley winced and shook his head. “Nevermind, dude.”

Darlin blinked. Why had he looked like that? Why did he sound like that? When they looked at him—really looked at him—they realize he looked, hurt? Scared? What the fuck could he be scared of? Them? “I get it if you want to keep things casual. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“What? No. You definitely didn’t overstep, and I don’t…I didn’t think we were casual?” What started as a statement filled with uncertainty became a question. “Did you…Do you think we were casual?”

Darlin huffed a breath, almost a laugh, and clawed a hand through their hair. They wanted to shift and run but they wouldn’t do that. They were a lot of things, but they weren’t a coward. “No. I mean, I don’t know what we are or how this works,” they came clean. Why not be honest? This was going to hurt either way, the least they could do was be honest with him.

“How what works?” Huxley asked, taking a step closer.

Darlin swore under their breath and looked down. Fuck. This was humiliating.

Huxley’s hand came into their line of sight, the back of his knuckles brushing against theirs. “Hey. Can we sit and talk about this?”

Darlin touched his hand, marveling at how that small gesture quieted some of that rising panic. They nodded, shrugging out of their jacket and stepping out of their boots.

Huxley seemed relieved when they did, like… like he’d been worried they’d walk out?

“Hux…”

He was unlacing his sneakers, pausing to look up at them.

“I wouldn’t bolt on you. I’m bad at a lot of this, but I wouldn’t leave you hanging.” They needed to make sure he knew that, even if they might be off base and it might be embarrassing later. They couldn’t allow the chance that he didn’t know.

Huxley blinked and then exhaled some of that tension and nodded.

Darlin was glad they’d said something. Yes, honesty was the best policy. They’d just tell him the truth and deal with the fallout. He deserved the truth.

They sat on the couch. He sat close, bending a leg up onto the cushion between them to turn sideways and face them. Darlin mirrored him, feeling like this was important. They knew they’d made the right choice when he rested a hand just above their knee, anchoring them together.

“I’m not good at this,” Darlin confessed.

Huxley stared back at them. “At what?”

Darlin huffed a breath, waving their hand between their chests. “All of this. Whatever this is… I mean, I’ve been with people but it’s never been like this. I don’t know what you want or what we’re doing but I like it. I like us. Whatever we are.” They closed their eyes. They felt like they were saying everything wrong.

“Hey,” Huxley said, voice low but comforting and right in front of them. “I like us too. Whatever we are.”

Darlin sighed hard, relieved.

Huxley squeezed their thigh gently. “But I think we should talk about what we are? I know we kind of started things off unconventional, me moving in before we got together and all, and like, I absolutely don’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable ever. But I was definitely hoping that we were becoming a couple…”

Darlin looked up at him, almost laughing at the idea that he thought the problem was how unconventional their start had been. It was the most conventional relationship they’d ever had. Darlin’s hand slid over his. “So, we’re…dating?”

Huxley laughed softly but nodded. “Yeah, if you want to be. Because I want to be.”

Darlin nodded. Yes. Definitely yes. But then why had he sounded so grim earlier? Should they leave it alone? No. What if something was bothering him? “What…What were you going to say earlier? Did something happen at the barbeque?” The idea of someone being rude to him was almost unfathomable. Christian hadn’t even been there so that particular jerk possibility was out.

“No,” he said but it was a little too fast and they both heard it. He took a breath and looked down.

Darlin’s heart beat faster. Oh shit. What could it be? They scooted closer, almost in his fucking lap, trying to get in his line of sight again. “What? If someone made you uncomfortable—”

“No. No,” he shook his head, looking at them almost pleading. There was something clearly hurt in his gaze and Darlin needed to know what it was—what had done that—so that they could punch it in the face. And then his gaze flicked to their neck. More specifically, to the side of their neck with the scars.

Oh.

They’d expected him to ask in the beginning, everyone always did once they got over the being scared of Darlin phase. But he hadn’t. When they were making out and getting heated, Darlin tried to keep that side turned slightly away from him, so he wouldn’t feel like he had to kiss or lick those scars. He’d only ever asked once if it bothered them—if they didn’t want him to touch there. Darlin had been so surprised by the question and it had been so early in their relationship, that they’d just answered no, they didn’t mind, and his mouth had roamed that skin like the rest of theirs ever since.

It had been easy to forget. He didn’t know.

Their stomach dropped. Oh shit. He didn’t know.

Huxley wished suddenly that he could take it back.

They were tense and their eyes focused someplace down and between them but not meeting his gaze anymore. “Oh.”

Quinn. The name rang in his head. He didn’t know who it was, but he knew it was bad. The way Asher and Milo had looked when it slipped out…they were worried and he knew they weren’t scared of Darlin, so the only thing left was being scared for Darlin. But Huxley hesitated to say it—to ask who it was. Still, he couldn’t lie and pretend it was nothing. There was definitely something going on with Darlin—some pain that had been there before he showed up.

His gaze drifted to their neck and the circular scars and deep slashes. “I thought… I mean, I’ve never hung out with shifters much, so I thought maybe the scars were just, normal shifter stuff, you know?” But it hadn’t been normal shifted stuff. There were plenty of scars, but nothing like Darlin. “We don’t have to talk about it. You don’t ever have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

To his surprise Darlin forced a smile and shook their head. “No. It’s not that big a deal. I mean, plenty of my scars come from dumb shit or fights, sometimes with wolves and some with vampires. I don’t mind telling you about them if you want to know but you don’t have to… I mean, I get that it can be a lot. It’s all in the past anyway and there’s kind of a lot so you don’t have to…” They took a deep breath to refocus and their hand came up to the side of their neck. He’d never seen them touch them before, he realized. “But you mean these, yeah?” They looked up at him quick and nodded at his expression before looking away again.

Huxley watched the way they tried so hard to act like this wasn’t a big deal, to shrug even when he saw their fingers digging into those scars.

“I’ve made a lot of stupid choices. We were friends at first and then… And then we weren’t.”

Huxley reached out slowly, so they’d see his hand coming before it wrapped around theirs and gently took it from the side of their neck, where their nails had started to press through skin. Someone they were friends with had done this? Quinn. His heart ached. “Friends…like you and me?”

Darlin winced, head dropping so low that their chin touched their chest. “No one’s ever been like you,” they whispered. “But yes. Like that.”

Like that.

Like someone they’d been sleeping with. Someone they’d trusted more than a friend.

“What happened?” Huxley asked softly.

“I wasn’t close with the pack then. Things got bad with…him, but I stayed. We fought a lot but I could take it and he wasn’t always that bad.” They grimaced as they tried to explain but Huxley just nodded slowly. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t good, but he could see it and see how it happened and he sure as shit wasn’t going to judge them for it. It wasn’t their fault. “But he…he hurt someone else. We fought for real that time and afterward I called the Department and reported him. He’s in lock up now.”

Their voice got quieter as they spoke, that pretend casual grating down into exhausted shame.

Huxley couldn’t imagine how horrible that would be—to care about someone that was hurting him and then finally have to turn them in. “I’m sorry,” he said and meant it. He was so sorry that had happened to them. He cupped the side of their face, their chin still pressed down into their chest like they might be able to curl up into themself.

“It was my own fault,” they mumbled, shrugging.

Huxley’s heart broke. It sounded like they’d said it before, a lot, until the words were just automatic. He sighed hard. “Oh, tough stuff, you know it wasn’t. I bet if anyone else had been in your position, done what you’d done, survived what you’d survived, you’d never think it was their own fault.” His hand slid around to the back of their neck, fingers deep in hair to scratch softly at their scalp. They dragged a breath and leaned forward that last inch to press their head to his chest. Their hands were on his sides, sliding up and twisting in his shirt. Huxley tugged until they were in his lap, pressed against his chest. “And I don’t think it was your fault. You survived something bad and then you still managed to protect other people.”

Darlin sighed heavily and they stayed like that for a while, just together.

Eventually Darlin shifted, laying their cheek against his shoulder and looking up at him. “So…Nothing’s going to scare you off? Not my shady past or the whole pack grilling you?”

Huxley laughed and shook his head. “Nope.” He bounced them a little on his thighs. “Do you think they liked me? The pack…”

Darlin smiled big. “Oh, you have no idea. Asher wanted your phone number and Stealth wants to go on a double date.”

“Really? Gav and the Freelancer have been asking about double dates too.”

“Think we could just set up Milo and Stealth and Gavin and Freelancer? Let them double date each other so we can stay home?”

Huxley smiled. It wasn’t the worst idea but he also liked the idea of going on group dates. Really, he liked the idea of going anywhere with Darlin.

Darlin’s expression softened, nodding against his shoulder like they heard his thoughts. “It’ll be fun.”

He leaned over and kissed their temple. “It’ll be fun,” he said back.

#redactedverse #redacted asmr #fanfic #darlin/huxley #protective david #angst #uncertainty #relationship negotiation #hurt/comfort #talking about Quinn #pack feels #dominimoonbeam #<3

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