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the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.

if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.

choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.

if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.

even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.

Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.

#some delicious meta I want to sink my teeth into #twilight as horror

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Bella and Jacob looking at each other in Twilight (2008, Dir. Catherine Hardwicke)

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Twilight Outtake: Blood Bank

This one is kind of hard to find.  It isn’t on SM’s website or easily accessible on the Lexicon (you have to dig kind of deep for it).   It was once available on MySpace I guess?  So here it is.  This IS written by Stephenie Meyer.  This takes place at the end of Twilight, when Bella is in the hospital recovering from the James fiasco.

SM: I did once write about Edward with red eyes…. Just for fun, here is a new outtake for you. It’s a piece from an epilogue I didn’t use. Enjoy! (Remember, this is unedited, rough draft stuff). —- Food started to become a dilemma, not for me, but for them. I wasn’t aware of the problem at first, always a little hazy from the drugs the nurses injected through my IV, and Edward never spoke to me about it. When I finally noticed, his irises were almost entirely black, the circles under his eyes deep and purple. But he brushed aside all my concerns, laughing.

Then one morning, waking uncomfortable and groggy-I wasn’t sleeping well flat on my back, but it was the only position that my leg allowed-I opened my eyes to look for him, my first instinct now. He knew the signs of my waking, and he was always there, his seraphic face my first sight of the day. All the nuisances of the hospital, the needle-happy nurses, the pain of my injuries, the lumpy spots in my hard bed, faded to nothing compared with the gift of his company.

“Good morning.” His smile was unbearably beautiful. Thank goodness they’d removed the heart monitor, so the nurses wouldn’t have to come check the sudden spike in my pulse.

And then I noticed his eyes, and gasped.

“What’s wrong?” He frowned, at once becoming overly concerned.

“Your eyes.” I shivered. The last time I’d seen eyes that color I’d nearly died. He ducked his head, ashamed, turning his burgundy-tinted irises away.

“Sorry, I should have warned you.”

I gazed at him broodingly till he finally looked back up, his garnet eyes apprehensive.

“Are you upset?” he asked, tentative.

I sighed. “I guess I’m okay, as long as it was that nurse that keeps having so much trouble finding my veins.”

He made a disgusted sound and leaned away from me. “I hope you’re joking.”

“Then what…?” I wondered.

“Alice and I knocked over the hospital blood bank, ” he admitted, seeming embarrassed. “It was her fault-she refused to hunt coyotes or rattlesnakes.”

I giggled, picturing her distaste. “I hoped you stayed away from the O-negative, ” I tried unsuccessfully to look severe.

He glared, upset by my reference to those first anxious hours-of which I had no memory-when the hospital ran out of my blood type and had to have more rushed up by helicopter from Tucson.

“We chose AB-positive, of course.”

“Of course, ” I agreed. “Those lucky stiffs can use anybody’s blood.”

He scowled at me. He considered it all part of my hazard-attracting nature-and therefore my fault-that I would have the most difficult blood to supply.

#very interested to see more of her writing process #but the nurse in me desperately wants to know who hurt Stephenie #what does she have against nurses? #there are shitty nurses but we’re all not evil I promise

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*SIGHS*

Another AO3 app that's pretending to be official when it's not (or at least isn't making it clear its unofficial.) They're using AO3's name and logo, and embedding ads.

There is no official AO3 app

Someone else is gathering your data, potentially your log in information etc and making use of it how they please. (They say they're not but their privacy policy says otherwise)

They are making money from the ads without the fic writer's consent.

They've also rated it Pegi 3 (which is ludicrous)

Please, even if you care about nothing else, for the safety of your data, please don't use this app. Certainly don't give it your AO3 log in details.

I've told AO3 that it's infringing on its copyright. I will be requesting they remove access of my work as I do not consent to my creative content being used to generate ad revenue for them.

I will be reporting it as incorrectly rated.

The only email address I can find is [email protected] which is included in their privacy policy, and [email protected] as their developer.

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bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

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nyctophobia - noun, ( extreme or irrational fear of the night or darkness. )

for the wonderful @teamjacobthot

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what makes me actually boil with rage is the way it’s framed as though jacob & the cullens have an even rivalry and like, he hates them just as much as they hate him, but like… jacob is a lower class kid who lives on the rez, the cullens live in a plantation home on private property. jacob calling alice a leech is an insult, but alice calling him a mongrel calls into power and privilege, ya know. like am i supposed to honestly think jake making blonde jokes to rosalie (which is certainly sexist and uncalled for) is on the same level as her serving him food in a dog dish? him seeing the cullens as bloodsuckers and murderers is just like, incorrect and unfair, but them seeing him as uncivilized and over-aggressive has implications deeply rooted in the oppression of his people

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POV: You're Bella and you sat next to Edward in biology class

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Twilight AU where religious iconography does repel vampires but how much it repels them is directly in proportion to how many people they’ve killed/eaten.  Thus Carlisle keeps his father’s cross outside his study so his slightly-murdery family won’t interrupt him unless it’s REALLY important because it makes them feel bad to walk past it. 

Except Jasper (and maybe Edward? oh the angst!) who can’t get near it at all. 

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hi all!! i’m an lgbt bracelet maker specializing in lgbt flag designs! on top of over 40 flag designs, i have solid color, tie-dye, taylor swift “eras” bracelets, and many more. all bracelets are $5+ shipping! i’m currently unemployed unexpectedly so any bit helps!

etsy here

#just bought some! #signal boost

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for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

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#ok but same with prev tags #I drive 4hrs round trip to visit family or go hiking #the answer is somewhere between 3-4hrs+ one way #which would honestly depend on my mood/how long I’ll be at the destination/what the overall goal is #usa

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I hear there is new Twilight discourse in 2024!? Here's a Twilight cover I made.

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i didn’t see any memes about my favourite part of midnight sun so i took matters into my own hands

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Charlie Swan’s House