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milksuu · 6 months

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Sorry, Mom. I'm The New Cleaning Lady For Heartsteel

Pairings: various!Heartsteel x f!reader

Status: on-going (Cross posted on AO3)

Content/Warnings: 18+ content, explicit themes, suggestive language

Summary: Identity theft was a crime—that was obvious. But when it meant paying off the bills for basically existing and your mother’s hospital expenses, committing a felony didn’t seem like a bad thing. It was like that one quote, from that one band, with that one hit song: “Two sides to a story but they never tell me side.”

Or…something like that. Wait, what was their name again? Heartsteel? Sounds like a dating sim game.

[Reader takes the identity of her mother, who had been hired to be the new cleaning lady for an up and coming boy band named ‘Heartsteel’. Obviously, there’s no way they would ever find out. But that was a joke. Because they’re definitely finding out: one by one.]

“You…brought your own cleaning supplies?”

“You always need to be prepared, young man,” you replied, adjusting your duck-yellow cleaning gloves. They squeeked and flopped comically around your hand and fingers.

“Ma’am, you do understand today is solely the house tour.” The man folded his arms neatly against his chest, white brow raised. “In order to rely on you fully, you’ll need to be familiar with the estate first. I thought we discussed this beforehand. That and…we have cleaning supplies to provide you with here.”

You paused at the grand modern entrance. You lifted your bucket full of sponges, brushes, and cleaning spray from the dollar store. 'Buy-one-get-one' on all cleaning supplies was the grand deal of the day. How could you pass a penny-pinching bargain? Swallowing your shame, you settled the cheap items on the pristine granite floors.

“Oh, is that so? Must’ve slipped my mind. Age will do that to you.” You forced a chuckle, adjusting your sterile mask across your youthful face. “That and, I have such a passion for cleaning. I can't help myself. I see the inside of a house, and I just have to clean it. I’m sure you could understand that.”

“I don’t believe I could,” your employer said dryly. “Anyway, if you will, follow me.”

You nodded and shuffled along accordingly. As you stared into the back of his immaculately pressed business attire, a new-found horror struck through you: you had no clue what your employer’s name was. Frantically, you scavenged your pockets. From it, you pulled out a business card, holding it so close to your face you smelled the tinge of clean cologne.

YONE

RIOT RECORDS

DJ / PRODUCER

EMAIL: [email protected]

TELEPHONE: XXX-XXX-XXXX

“The bottom floor consists of all of the amenities; gym, entertainment area, recording studio and so on.” Yone stated as he stepped into the open-kitchen plan. When he regarded you again, you awkwardly plunged the card back into your pants pocket. “The boys have their own scheduled chores every week. They’re expected to do it without you having to help them. I’m trying to keep them humble, but easier said than done. Refer to the chore calendar on the fridge. And try not to interfere with it too much.”

“Okay—who switched my protein powder with flour?” Behind an opened cabinet, a heavy-muscled stacked man growled. “Guys. Seriously. This stuff’s expensive. Where’d it go?” When he poured the contents out into the trash can, he plucked out a note from the bottom of the canister. The small print read:

‘Protein powder tastes like dog food.’’

The weight of realization punched him square between the eyes. He threw open the pantry, where dog kibble was stored in a tub at the bottom marked ‘Ernest’. Sett pulled open the container, and sure enough, found his protein powder and scooper. There was no mistaking his favorite smell of cinnamon crunch isolate, now mixed with the scent of dry-bacon kibble. Another note pasted the inside lid:

‘Woof–Woof ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ’

“A–phe–li–os,” the name gritted between his canines. His ears flattened against his untamed hair, and crumpled the note to dust in his palm. “Oh–Ho. Mess with me all you want; but never mess with my gains. I’m gonna’ prank him back so hard tonight, he’s gonna’ be begging me to stop.”

“Sett,” Yone coughed, grabbing the Vistayan's attention. “We have a guest today. Our new cleaning lady.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” Sett wiped his powdered hand against his sleeveless shirt. He reached and took your rubber glove with a squelch. “Hey, how’s it goin’, Ma’am. The name’s Sett.”

You swallowed hard, hoping your glove would remain securely covering your hand. You feared if he pulled back, he would reveal a hand that wasn't so wrinkled for someone supposedly in their late-fifties. And that was according to your mother’s age printed on her driver’s license. Thankfully, you could tell he restrained himself to a delicate shake.

“Would talk more but gotta hit the gym. Nice meetin’ yah though,'' Sett started away, and called back over his shoulder. “Mom, can you take care of Phel for me? I dunno' where he hid the dog food for Ernest.”

Yone exhaled a silent sigh, and part of you felt pity for your employer. He seemed like a parent with a tag-team of overbearing children running around the house. Being a single parent was difficult; you knew this first hand from your own up-bringing. It made you grateful for your mother’s patience and attention. It was the reason you were here in the first place.

“Let’s continue with the tour upstairs,” Yone said, motioning you to a loft-style staircase. “The second floor consists of all the bedrooms and laundry room. At the end of the hall is my room. As it stands, it’s completely off limits to everyone, including yourself.” He turned a sharp chin in your direction, “Am I understood?”

You gulped and pressed your shoulders straight. “Of course.”

“Mommy, help me!” A bed of green hair bounced to Yone’s side, tugging at his tailored suit. “Kayn’s bullying me again. But I didn’t do anything wrong, I swear.”

“You’re such a crappy liar.” The presumed assailant, Kayn, stomped out of the hallway bathroom. Magenta hair stuck to his furrowing brows. With just a towel wrapped around his steaming waist, his abdominal muscles tensed, pointing aggressively at his target. “I was trying to shower in peace, until bubblegum pop princess over here came barging in trying to take selfies of himself. Did you know people usually shower naked? I’d like my junk not to be posted on social media, unless I’m the one doing it. For cash.”

“It’s not my fault you’re always going over your shower limit. News flash: we each only get fifteen-minutes. But you’re always breaking the rules! You know I take my selfies at the same time, at the same place, every single day. So how about you do us all a favor, and get some better time management?”

Kayn raised a vein popping fist into the air. “How about I get you a better face instead?"

Ezreal cried fake sparkling tears, cowering further behind their producer.

“Enough. The both of you,” Yone tightened around his words like a leash, restraining the quarreling pair. “For once, I’d like for you two to at least pretend you get along in front of others.”

The two whined and grumbled under their breaths till they fell to a silent agreement. But the peace treaty wasn’t upheld for long. You saw a zap of yellow from the corner of your eye. The image was so fast, you thought you must’ve imagined it—Nope. You definitely saw something. Kayn’s towel knot popped loose. And it wasn’t caused by an event of divine intervention.

The towel billowed towards the ground. And the world felt as if it was turning in slow motion, like one of those car chase movies with excessive explosions. Except, the only explosion here would be your very own heart.

Sure, you took an anatomy class here and there. In high school, you remembered the penis joke’s and games, and they never flustered you. Heck, not even when your friends set your desktop screen to a .gif of dicks spinning in circles—you found that hilarious. And when anatomy classes began in college, they were all very clinical, rudimentary, and otherwise a snooze fest.

But seeing one in real life when you’ve never had a boyfriend or a one night stand, was truly groundbreaking. Earth shattering, even.

Penis (en)counter: 1

While you were stuck in your prison of naïve embarrassment, Ezreal laughed and pulled out his cell phone, camera light shuttering a mile a minute.

“You little shi—!” Time sped forward again. With fast reflexes of his own, Kayn whipped the towel and knot back in place. “That’s it. You’re dead.”

“Uh–Oh. Time to run again,” Ezreal quipped, zooming off down the stairs.

With all bark and full bite, Kayn vanished like a cloud of smoke in pursuit. You coughed against the smog, while Yone merely swatted his hand back and forth, dissipating the gray wisps.

“You’ll have to excuse them,” he commented. “They share the same room, but have vastly different personalities. I arranged most of them together, thinking it’d help them understand each other on a deeper level. And ultimately, help them perform better together in the studio and on stage. My efforts are…yet to be determined.”

“That’s alright. Can’t be easy for young men their age to share anything. Especially with them being full of energy, testosterone, and other things. O-Oh, to be young once more…ah-ha…” you laughed nervously. Oh, God. What the heck were you saying? Honestly, you had to give pardon to yourself. You were still trying to recover from seeing your first penis up close and personal.

The image would be forever burned in your mind.

You were pulled from your self-conscious thoughts. Down the hall, a pair of shadowed eyes peeked through a sliver of door and frame. When your gaze locked together, the other pair of eyes shifted shyly from side to side. As if a poltergeist existed within the room, the visage faded back into the uncanny crack of darkness. The door creaked closed, with an audible click and lock.

Yone pursued straight to the door, and you stood a few paces back. If there was any chance that a ghost was inside living rent-free, you wouldn't be the first it possessed. You weren't a certified Ghostbuster.

But you also weren't a certified Dustbuster, either. No one will know, know one will know, you chanted the comforting hymn.

“Aphelios. Open the door. I know you’re in there. I can see the computer light flashing,” Yone stated, rattling the door knob. “Where’s the kibble for the dog? Sett told me you have it somewhere.”

There was a beat in the air. From behind the door, you heard feet pacing back and forth, and the sounds of finger taps against a phone screen. Yone’s phone pinged with an alert. He pulled it out, and opened his text messages.

‘I can’t open the door all the way. I set the bucket of dog food to fall on Sett’s head when he comes in. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ’

“For the love of…no more pranks today." Yone pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan. "But I doubt you could even manage that. Whatever trap you’ve ensembled, take it down—now. And put the dog’s food back in the pantry. Unless you want to donate a cut of your earnings every month to Ernest’s pet store bill.”

Another pause, followed by begrudging phone taps.

‘Fine, m O T h E r…(¬_¬")’

“That might take him a few. Depending how intricate the set up was. I would be surprised if the only thing involved in this scheme was just the dog food.” Yone motioned you back down the stairs. “Last thing to see is the outdoor space.”

Continuing with the tour, you passed through the lower floor, stepping down a hallway decorated with awards and magazine clippings. From commercial modeling gigs to sold out venues, your eyes glistened at the polished look the group was slowly cultivating. Which you had to admit, completely contradicted their personal lives.

When you reached a sliding glass door that stretched from floor to ceiling, you stepped out onto a landscaped deck. Lush modern garden trims, a shaded outdoor lounge, and smooth sandstone pavement decorated the space. At the backend, an infinity pool rested in pristine stillness.

At the head of the pool, a person of sculpted bronze physique posed in swimwear on a lounge chair. When you approached along with your chaperone, he picked up his tropical drink, and tilted it in a cheering gesture.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Mama gracing me with his presence. And look's like someone else is with him, too.” The man basking in the sun's rays and oil slicked, shucked his sunglasses onto his dread locks. “Let me guess. This must be the new cleaning lady you hired to pick up after our mess.”

“To a certain degree,” Yone replied. “But not all of the mess, K’Sante. Out of everyone, you should know better.”

“I only joke, Mama.” He grinned smoothly, taking a sip of his frozen alcoholic refresher. “Say, have you seen Sett? I told him to come join me for a tan by the pool. If he wants his muscles to truly pop, he needs to use some oil and not be allergic to the sun. The man is whiter than the sky is bright today.”

As he laughed to himself, Ernest left his chew toy at the far side of the pool, and came to sniff your shoes. With a smile, you slipped a very small piece of your long sleeve up, allowing him to sniff at your skin. The dog lapped his tongue around his slobbering chops, barking delightedly and pawing for you to pet him. You were more than happy to oblige.

These gloves came in handy after all, you thought pleasantly as globs of saliva fell in heaps over your fingers.

“What’s this? Ernest taking a liking to the cleaning lady already,” K’Sante mused at the sight. “Barely warmed up to us when we first met. We won’t mention the illegal trespassing but, call me impressed.”

With a wink, he flicked his sunglasses back down to the bridge of his nose. “That or he has a ‘ting for older women. Can’t say I blame ‘em. An experienced woman has a certain power that’ll make any grown man cry. And from my own experience, it is never for mercy.”

Oh, boy. You couldn’t imagine your mother being interested in the cougar life-style. Not that you would approve of it. And you were certain your father would descend from the heavens and deliver the backhand of God to any young man who dared otherwise.

Before Yone could address the unsavory statement, Ezreal burst through the backyard sliding doors. Still possessed with laughter, he hopped and skipped over pool chairs and tables. The merriment stopped short when Kayn caught up to the cheeky idol, snatching his wrist which held the phone. From the staggering halt, the phone slipped from Ezreal’s hold, somersaulting towards the pool.

“M-My phone!” Ezreal paled at the thought of losing thousands of stored photos of himself—Oh, and the blackmail photos he was going to use against Kayn, too.

Yanking his wrist free, Ezreal pursued the device. But Ernest’s rubber hotdog toy squealed beneath him, forcing him off balance. Kayn latched an arm around Ezreal's slim waist, and pressed him safely against his bare chest.

He huffed against Ezreal's ear. “You can’t swim, you idiot. Remember? Just let it go.”

Ernest barked at the surmounting commotion. Being the valiant guard dog with the perfect pedigree, he bounded on his thick paws to catch Kayn by the towel, with all the intent to keep them both from falling in. What a good boy! Unfortunately for Kayn, Ernest bit a bit more than he could chew.

Kayn’s voice bass boosted ten-octaves lower. “MY DAMN ASS!”

W-Whose voice was that? Was that even the same person? The thought rattled through you.

A chunk of Kayn's soft meat condensed in the jaws of a furry devil. A shock travelled up the nerves of his spine, into the the muscle fibers of his arm, shoving Ezreal forward. Ezreal flailed his hands in the air, desperate to find some semblance of balance—with no luck, at all. Fumbling on his tip-toes, Ezreal plummeted into the pool with a splash. Kayn stumbled from the after-shock of his spirit being bitten straight through his buttcheeks. His feet met the cursed rubber squeaker, sending him following suit into the pool. Except, the towel had its own plans. It decided to stay behind and not get involved.

Penis (en)counter: 2

“I heard some commotion, fellas. What’s goin’ on?” Sett stepped out from the sliding doors. He caught witness of Ezreal’s face treading water, gasping for bouts of air. Sett’s muscles popped at the sight, barreling towards the scene. “Don’t worry, Ez. I’m coming for yah, buddy!”

Sett launched himself into the air, preparing the most athletic Olympic dive ever conceived.

Kayn inhaled sharply as he broke through the water's surface tension. Recuperating his breaths, he slicked his wet hair back from his face. Looking down at the waters crystal reflection, an odd shadow grew in size around him. And according to the forecast earlier; there was no chance in Hell of clouds or rain. Lifting his nose to the darkening sky, he blanched in sheer horror. A body, massive enough to eclipse the sun, hurled down like a meteor descending to Earth.

What day was it today, Doomsday? He must've forgot; Kayn never bothered to look at calendar's, anyway.

Back to the painful mistress that was his life; a weak, painful moan escaped him. “You can’t be serious. This isn’t the cool death I deserve—”

Those were Kayn’s final words. A wave rivaling a tsunami consumed him, a random pizza chair float, and the immediate surrounding pool area. Standing in the designated splash zone, pool water soaked your soles, leached into your socks, and dampened your pants to the knees. From K’Sante’s spot, a shot of chlorine or two spiked his drink. He snatched his sunglasses off and shouted the words; “This was the last bit of banana daiquiri mix, you aboas! Now I have to go down to the liquor store and hope they sell it frozen already.”

Yone, with all the grace anyone could hope to be blessed with, merely side-stepped away. A single speck landed on his polished shoes. He narrowed his steely eyes, flicking away the insignificant drop.

You caught something flashing on the second floor of the estate. Looking up, you shielded your eyes from the glaring sun. From one of the windows, you spotted someone holding up a sign. You assumed it was Aphelios. The poster read:

‘4/10 Ezreal. 6/10 Kayn. 10/10 Sett.’

With a dramatic burst through the water, Sett hurled Ezreal over his massive shoulder, and walked out of the pool. Placing Ezreal onto his soaking back, he coughed and gagged against the awful taste of treated water.

He smiled at his new-found savior. “Thanks, Sett. I’m fine, but what about Kayn…”

The group shifted their attention over the silent, lapping water. After a bubble or two, the sight of Kayn’s bare bottom surfaced to the top. Floating like a wet and rounded land-mass, with the additional landmark of a pink dog-bite.

“Kayn! Hang in there, pal!” Sett launched himself once more into the water, creating another wave of soaking magnitude.

Although the drink had already been spoiled, K’Sante reflexively covered the top of his daiquiri glass. “For God’s sake, Sett. Take your time. It’s not like you’re saving the life of an innocent man.”

As chaos continued to ensue around the gang, Yone placed himself at your side. With a shake of his head, he crossed his arms, and sent a ghost of a smile your way.

“Welcome to Heartsteel,” he said. “Your first day starts tomorrow.”

Looks like your identity was safe…for now, at least.

an: thanks for reading! the rest of the this story will most likely just be on my AO3. You can find me @ milksuu. comments and suggestions always welcomed. <3

#heartsteel #league of legends #Heartsteel x reader #kayn x reader #ezreal x reader #aphelios x reader #Sett x reader #K'Sante x reader #Yone x reader #reader insert #league of legends fanfiction #cross posted on ao3 #divider by @benkeibear

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jawz · 4 months

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i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way my ethnicity affected the way i was gendered as a child, my drive to transition, and even my detransition…

as a hispanic growing up with my white mom and white stepdad and white brother and white extended family in scandinavian hell (minnesota), i always felt different, always felt wrong. (my parents divorced as a baby, and my dad and his family, cuban and italian, all live in florida.) my neighborhood wasn’t so bad; it was way more diverse than the metro area itself. growing up i had mixed friends, i had friends with curly hair… but us trailer park kids were only a fraction of the population of our schools and district. a sea of blonde hair. there were times in elementary school i would literally pray to god to make my hair straight, make my eyes blue. grown-ups touched my hair and always asked “is it naturally curly?”. my classmates urged me to straighten it and by age 13 it was part of my ridiculously time-consuming “feminizing” beauty rituals.

much earlier, by the age of 8 or 9, i already had thick, dark hair growing on my legs. other kids, boys and girls alike, called me “gorilla girl”, faked gagging when i wore shorts, insisted i was actually a boy. that one became more and more common as i came into my personality: bold, class clown, competitive with the boys. (always wanting to charm the girls, but i didn’t recognize that back then.)

my mustache was there by 8, as well. just a little peach fuzz above my lip but dark enough to notice. are you even a girl? my mom would spread wax over her own face and soon began waxing my stache as well. it hurt so badly. i put up with it because she said it would make the kids stop teasing me. of course i was a girl- she was a woman and she had peach fuzz too!… but i felt self-conscious at the fact that my body hair was so much more noticeable, even as a child. my mother’s hair is very thin, straight, lighter brown; her complexion is warmer than mine, pink where mine is olive, green and yellow. i worried you could see the strands about to burst through. i was worried that to be a girl- a woman- i must hide parts of myself every day. i must cover the shoots of grass, the weeds that reveal that i’m not fit for society, that whisper i’m wild and untamed.

it wasn’t actually until i was 18 at least that i actually started to consider myself latino. i had sometimes said ‘hispanic’ growing up, as that’s what my family in florida called themselves; they referred to themselves as “spanish”, which i found out was not quite true after compiling my family tree and discovering that those ancestors emigrated from havana. in their minds they were white: “descended from spanish royalty” (as if!!)… i had spent my youth constantly trying to claim solely whiteness, confused as to why everyone was asking me “are you mexican?” “are you jewish?” “are you middle eastern?” - even though inside i think i knew. i knew my family didn’t look like me. i resented my surname being changed to Lind when i was five, my stepdad’s name, in order to give me the same name as the rest of them. despite my apparent envy of swedes and norwegians i knew it wasn’t my name; i still stood out terribly. i glared at myself in the mirror every day, i never could move past how the kids at school said my eyes were the color of shit, that my hair looked like pubes, that i must have had a sex change without being told because that would explain the mustache, the aggression…

by the time i was fourteen i was entirely primed to accept an alternative explanation to what was “wrong” with me. my sexuality was becoming more and more apparent but before i could ever come out as lesbian or even bi, i had discovered what it meant to be trans. i was so immediately certain that this was the key, THIS was why everyone said i didn’t fit in, THIS was why my behavior wasn’t girly, THIS was why i wanted to date girls. it was 2011, still deep in the “brain sex” era of the trans community, and i was sure without a shadow of a doubt that i was physically female, mentally male. all that needed to be done was to “correct” my body and bring it in line with my brain. despite the fact that very few people knew what transition actually was back then, i genuinely assumed it would make sense to everyone else, too: they had told me i wasn’t ‘really’ a girl so many times i had no trouble believing it.

transition, of course, did not suddenly de-latinize me LOL. first i became a total Other, outside of both the minnesotan ethnic norms and the gender+sex norms; eventually, with hormones and surgery at a very young age, i was able to pass as a boy, but by the time i could grow actual full-on facial hair, i realized i was still the pan-latin american enigma to people around me. multiple times someone would call me “sanchez” as some sort of attempted insult or joke. police looked at me differently than they had before. shop owners followed me, accused me of shoplifting. and sometimes, the white girls i dated told me that i was way cooler than all the boring white boys they knew. one girl even called me “exotic” to my face. it was, apparently, a compliment.

when i was 21 i heard that my girlfriend had referred to me to others as “a POC who identifies as white”. it felt as though she didn’t even know me at all. i’d never claimed either of those things to her.

moving to the west coast (socal specifically, where being latino/a is not considered ‘abnormal’) illuminated a lot of the bizarre and unnatural racial expectations of my midwest upbringing; i think by this point i was beginning to realize what so many things from my childhood had meant. that they weren’t really saying i was a boy. they were saying we don’t like girls who look like you, and we’d rather not have you included in our category.

it took me another three years to fully reckon with this. by the time i decided to detransition i had a much better understanding of the circumstances of my life; conversations with close friends who are also latina and have walked similar paths to me, heard similar insults, similar “compliments”, opened my eyes to the fact that i was not alone. i no longer feel weird for thinking the race/ethnicity boxes on government forms are hopelessly reductive. i know who i am and who i am not.

(around this time, i happened upon some old pictures of my dad’s side of the family. beautiful and glamorous women: adela, my uncle’s mother, the piano player; melanie, my aunt, the wife, hostess, and addict; lauren and andrea, my cousins, the restauranteurs; stella, my dad’s mamma, the widow and matriarch. and on all their faces, thick dark eyebrows, and, yes, that ever-familiar peach fuzz. i swear it healed something in my soul. despite my lack of beauty and glamor, we are not so different after all.)

that’s not to say all things are easy now. i’ve spent three years living as a GNC woman and if that wasn’t enough to confirm most all of my hypotheses on people’s perceptions of me, i don’t know what is.

detrans spaces (like most trans spaces) are overwhelmingly white- or at least that’s who dominates conversation. i see SO much downplaying of the things that naturally hairy women go through societally. i see trans allies who purport to be “okay” with detransitioners, saying “what’s the big deal? if you took testosterone you can just go off it and get laser hair removal!! :)” as if laser isn’t expensive as hell, painful as hell, and also WAY more of a process for a woman with dark curly hair than it is for one with straight blonde hair lmfao!!! i see detrans women obsessed with removing all traces of hair from their bodies (even though most of them clearly don’t have a neverending five o’clock shadow like some of us do! my lower face has a constant blue-green disturbance under the surface which makes female spaces incredibly daunting) and insulting the rest of us for being ugly and hairy and making no effort to look like women or what the fuck ever. basically, a lot of people who claim to support us are just racists and essentialists and believe that sex is visual and not biological…🤨

anyway… i guess my main takeaways from all this are:

1. please stop acting like detransition is an entirely internal process and that it’s easy for all of us to be seen as our sex again (some of us like. actually transitioned and passed as the opposite sex), or that potential physical interventions aren’t incredibly invasive and difficult

2. stop assuming all transition and detransition journeys follow your own experience of lifelong whiteness and hairlessness

3. it is a distinct experience to be regularly de-gendered or denied your sex, PRIOR to ever thinking of yourself as literally trans. many trans/detrans people had this happen to us (we were once the vast majority of trans people). but many did not, and generally shock others when they begun breaking gender norms. i really think people from the second group often have trouble understanding that for the first group, changing gender expression is basically a bandaid over an abscess… we have lived entire lifetimes being denied our sex, being told our bodies are not “truly” ours, that there is someone else inside trying to break out. kicked out of the bathroom, the changing room, alienated from single-sex peer groups. transition just flips this experience and instead separates us from our preferred gender group, reinforcing the feeling that we have no place, anywhere.

race/ethnicity, being homosexual or bisexual, mental illness stigma, disability, and low economic class all play an additional role in this. stop perpetuating this and denying us our biological sex.

#this is a toooootal rant lmao sorry but its been on my mind for a while.#kind of a culmination of two posts ive been wanting to make #detrans #detransition #ok to reblog

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tyuntopia · 9 months

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hiii i js wanted to say ur writing is so good omg and also can i request husband txt. theyve got me feeling a little delusional lately 😭🙏

★ txt as husbands

pairing : ot5 x fem! reader

genre : fluff, kissing, smut but not fully just a bit suggestive, minors dni

a/n : hii it's been a short while, i got kinda busy with life all of a sudden but hopefully in the near future i'll have a consistent update schedule ^^ other than that, i hope you like it !!

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yeonjun

he would still be so so flirty referring to you as his angel or his darling

he would want to stay in bed with you all day just sleeping and maybe occasional make out sessions where he tells you how beautiful you are to him

as you get up to go to the restroom he orders takeout over the phone so that you don't have to worry about cooking, he's always so considerate of you

you guys would eat takeout in bed while watching a movie and as the night gets older he would turn on candles and caress your body while talking about your guys' future

he could stare into your eyes all day and night and he does do that until you drift off to sleep in which he blows out the candle and gives you a soft kiss on your shoulder before drifting off as well

he would be so good at planning dates to keep your marriage fresh, picnics at the park, hole in the wall cafés in the mornings, massages for the both of you

he would also give you a lot of presents, after work he would come home with a small necklace that he saw that made him think of you, small things like that

he would just love you so much and want to give you world if he could

soobin

he would be such a mushy husband, asking you all the time if you need anything, calling for his honey, his sunshine

LOTS of cuddling, specifically on the couch where he would be on top of you laying his head on your breasts because, and i quote "they're just too perfect"

i don't see him cooking for you, however, as you cook breakfast, dinner, you name it, he would be right behind you, head resting on your shoulder and hands hugging your waist asking what you're doing every couple of minutes,, such a clingy boy

you two would play video games together and bet that whoever loses is in charge of the chores for that day and sometimes even if he wins he gets up, gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek, and lets you know that he'll get them done because you've done so much for him already

you guys would probably always shower together: he would wash you, and then you would wash him and he would be so soft and vulnerable

after marrying, he would definitely call u odi's mom and it would be such a big deal to him

watching you take care of odi makes his heart swell because all he can think about is how you would take care you your guys' children

and at night thats definitely all he can think about now too, bringing it up when he's inside you asking if that's what you want and with a desperate "yes" from you his dream comes true

beomgyu

i think like many of us see, he would be energetic always shining light on his baby, his honey bun, his beau

but i think with you he would let shine his more raw persona

you two would spend hours in bed laying next to one another talking about the most earth shattering things, your fears, desires

he would try his best to be all that he can for you, always being there for you, asking if you need anything, just being the shoulder that you could cry on and vise versa

you two would probably bake brownies together and eat them as you watch that ridiculous dating show because why not

and you bond and laugh over video games that he forces you to play because even though he's older he "still needs to maintain his youth" whatever that means, but you don't mind it, it keeps your relationship fun

you would definitely also have pillow fights all the time and he would chase you around the house trying to tickle you

on slower nights he would draw a bath for you both to just lay together and he would bath you

upon getting out, you would get in bed as he turns on candles and begins playing guitar for you, singing you to sleep

he's definitely a goofball, but there's so many more layers to him that you love and adore

taehyun

god he would be so soft with you, treating you like a queen, calling you his love, honey, sweetheart, you name it he just wants you to know how special you are

you would wake up every morning feeling soft traces of his fingers on your legs and hips along with breathy kisses along your neck and shoulders

he would tell you to rest more as he gets up to walk to the kitchen to start cooking you breakfast, but not before giving you a soft kiss on your forehead which makes you feel all warm and protected so as he disappears you can't help but smile at the ceiling, giggling, and kicking your legs up and down

his breakfast would be so delicious and you would probably do the dishes together: him washing them and you drying them and putting them away ><; dream team and this would probably be the same with all chores

he would probably lift you on the counter after you're done to make out with you softly, his hands gliding up and down your thighs and yours tangling in his hair

he would be so sweet, carrying you to the shower and washing your hair and body, then dressing you in his shirt that he thinks looks so fucking sexy on you

you would probably have movie days in bed together and late night trips to the gym

at night he would be the most sentimental, kissing you everywhere and telling you how much he loves you, taking his time- definitely lots of eye contact and temple kisses

i could also see you guys having a lot of quickies where he pins you against the wall and hikes your skirt up as he lift you up, definitely has a strength kink and isn't afraid to show it

overall, your relationship is just so so soft, you can feel his love from a mile away

huening kai

he'd be such an angel to you, but would call you his angel because that's what you are to him and he makes sure he treats you as such

you'd wake up to tummy rubs and pouty kisses and maybe even tickles which would lead to tickle fights and him and his evil laugh (that is still somehow so cute)

you would probably make pancakes together with lots of different fruits and talk the whole morning about anything and everything

no matter how old you two are he would still take you on arcade dates and lunches with his sisters who he adores so much even though he's always making fun of them

you guys would have dance parties in your living room listening to bruno mars

in any situation he always puts you first and is such a soft gentleman, i love him

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nogu-d-reamers · 29 days

Text

WELCOME TO PLAYTOWN/POPPY PLAYTOWN- CHARACTER REFERENCE #1.

CATNAP NUITLUNE- DESIGN AND DATA.

Information data:

Name: Catnap NuitLune.

Age: 24

Height: 320 mts/10'4 fts.

Species: Smiling critter creature. Cat (Maine coon cat).

Occupation: private detective.

Genre: male (he, him).

Sexuality: anthro.

Magical usser type: cursed.

Birth place: Gasetúde (Playgrounds).

Birth day: august 8th (not real birthday, it's just a symbolic date).

Personality:

He is usually a reserved, quiet man, little bit sarcastic and to a certain extent withdrawn and in his world. Because of his type of work and the night schedules he manages; It is common to see him asleep during the day anywhere in his work clothes at the Piggy family restaurant or near Kickin's cabin (or in general keeping him company while he rests with one of his friends).Although he usually seems to be a lazy person, and some of his own comments towards himself; He is someone who puts the people he cares about above his own well-being and is loyal to his friends to an absurd degree.

On the other hand, topics such as his family, his past in "beta-unit 1006" or the "prototypism" tend to make him uncomfortable and he will skip the topic immediately or pretends he needs another cigarette (even if he's smoking a new one)..

A funny gag with him is that he usually appears out of nowhere in favor of the situation and scaring everyone at the same time while repeating «it's not my turn, but...»

about his work and daily life.

He is a As mentioned above, he is a private detective who, due to his predilection, works the night shift (which is why he spends the rest of the day half asleep). He works for the detective agency "Mob Inc." Therefore, his way of dressing in civilian clothes at work does not have many differences and he maintains a dark color palette. In that agency he works only with Mr. Mob (founder and chief financial officer) and his "brother" and day shift colleague Boxy Boo.

He ended up getting entangled in the world of detectives due to an altercation in his youth where he tried to steal the wallet of who would be his boss and was given two options: hand him over to the police or work for him and have a formal job.

"Magic" data (and other skills):

like a cursed, it has the standard abilities that they generally have without the need for it to be activated =

- improved brute force.

- hyperdeveloped senses.

-permission and knowledge of handling weapons of his rank.

But, this can be activated when your body is under a very high stress situation or in a situation of extreme danger.

His curse has 3 phases=

Phase 1: activated.

His body begins to secrete and expel poppy smoke (a reminder that poppies are an inhibitor of magic, and for beings like witches it is a lethal poison) through the respiratory tract and his character, due to the pain it causes, becomes aggressive and alert. ; If panic does not take over, he can deactivate it voluntarily.

Phase 2: controlled/stable form.

It's the shape they wanted to achieve when they experimented with it in the first place.

His body begins to adapt to the poppy gas and has a "mild growth spurt"; The gas also goes from being just a sleeping pill to a tool to generate illusions in its favor and can generate the gas or poppy substance in a more solid way in its claws or fangs. His attitude also changes, becoming more sinic and playful; like a hunter who enjoys torturing his prey.

He can be reasoned with to a certain degree and if he realizes that he has hurt someone important to him he can revert to his activated form.

If he spends too much time in that way...he can get out of control.

Phase 3: uncontrolled/ unstable form.

It is what went wrong and made him consider a failure.

If he spends too much time in his controlled form the Poppy Smoke itself "takes over" Catnap's body, giving him the grotesque appearance of a skeletal cat surrounded by smoke; the only trace of his actual body being his eyes and mouth injected with poppy gas.

You can't reason with him...

You can't fight him...

You can only do two things = run away and pray that his energy runs out quickly so that he returns to his base form.

Medical notes:

-He is under strict medical treatment so that one day his curse cannot affect him.

-Even though he is stable, due to his physical modification, his body feels the need for the poppy substance; So as contradictory as it may sound, you are allowed to smoke a certain limited amount of cigarettes solely made from these flowers while investigating an alternative for his case; His trademark is "the hour of joy."

-Bobby is his designated therapist.

other random data:

favorite food: niçoise salad «un delice~♪».

Favorite dessert: beignets «i love desserts, mais;the beignets are my biggest weakness».

hated food: militar cookies «...bad memories...».

smell: lavender + poppy.

strength: loyalty, insight, thirst for research.

weakness:self-deprecation.

favorite physical appearance: star-freckles «everyone loves the étoiles, Right?».

hated physical appearance:«that stupid mark».

person you respect most: kickin «I owe a lot to that stupid coq»

person you don't want as an enemy: Bobby «She's scary when I'm not on time for treatment... and boy, nothing scares moi».

hobby:sleeping and gossip.

Some crush?: ... «Mr. Witcher».

#poppy playtime au #smiling critters #catnap #poppy playtime catnap #Welcome to playtown #poppy playtown #poppy playtime

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cosmickiszka · 1 year

Text

Bubbles.

Josh Kiszka x Reader

WARNING: mention of nudity, alcohol ..

Heavily inspired by “Morning Song” written and sung by The Lumineers. Give it a listen while you read. ☀️

A/N: Hello! Happy Valentine’s Day! Consider this a gift from me to you. :) I apologize if the spacing is a little aggravating, I’m still learning to use this app. Also, this fic is the first I’ve ever posted to a public platform so I ask you to *please* be nice! Hope you enjoy! 💟

You take a deep breath, welcoming the cool air of the night to invade your lungs. Exhaling, it being momentarily preserved in a visible puff that lingers not far from your lips, just to fall and disappear behind you as your feet carry you up the familiar front steps and to the dark wooden door.

Fumbling with the items in your hands, you balance your belongings into one of your palms and use your empty one to scope the space of your pockets, searching for your keys. Amongst the empty candy wrappers and crumbled receipts from earlier on in the day, you come across the ridged metal buried underneath them. Smiling to yourself, you bring it out and up to the slot in which it fit perfectly, turning it to the side and pushing it in.

The house is dark as you step inside. Your shoulder presses up against the wall beside the entrance and flips the light switch like you’d done nights prior to this, using your heel to shut the door behind you. Almost immediately your eyes scan the expanse of the living room, brow raised as your soul tries to detect the difference in the atmosphere. Your mind can feel it, your heart knows it, but your vision is unable to find it.

Setting your things down on the nearby coffee table, removing your shoes, you continue to look around before deciding to take the next step — quite literally, walking away from the hardness of the wooden flooring to the transition of plush carpet. The closer you get to the flight of stairs, the more visible the red spots become.. easier it is to figure out what they belong to. There’s a mixture of white and red rose petals leading a messily beautiful trail upwards. Shaking your head, your own personal shade of red dusts your cheeks.

Of course, you would’ve been foolish had you considered him to not do anything today. After all, it was Valentine’s Day. The holiday of love, and who to love harder than your boyfriend, Josh? Your boyfriend, Josh, the man you had spent the majority of your life with rather than without. From the day you moved next door into the warmth of the brick house that roomed closeby to the one his family occupied, you were inseparable.

Since the day your wide eyes full of youthful light met his cheery browns, the second you gathered the courage to approach and ask if he’d like to be friends. From play dates that turned into high school “will yous?” which varied from after school study hangouts to seeking out newly released movies in the theater.

Chaste kisses to the cheek to him being your first real one, how you cherished the electric feeling you felt when his lips planted yours for that first time. It was after a showing of The Notebook, in which you shed heavy tears that he wiped away from your face.

He was so gentle in the way he cared for you. Hardly pressing his thumbs to your cheeks as he collected the large salty drops that ran down your features. It was at that moment that he looked at you for longer than usual and before you knew it, you were having your first kiss with the boy you had been in love with since elementary.

As the sweet moment flooded your mind and made you feel light, like a feather drifting through the wind, you ascended the stairs and found yourself on the second floor of the house you bought together. It took a lot of convincing from your part to get Josh to finally commit to purchasing the piece of property, yourself tired of constantly moving and renting places, desiring a place to finally refer to as home.

Even though that was anywhere you traveled with Josh, you had bigger plans for the future; ones that included building a family, and you wanted to make sure you had a permanent spot to ensure where that could happen, where it could grow.

After searching and scheduling multiple appointments in different areas, you finally found the one and you both agreed without words. The moment you stepped past the door, you exchanged all knowing looks and locked arms, following the realtor as they showed you the rest of the place.. despite you two already being sold.

Now, after almost a whole year, the house was no longer empty and instead, filled with knick knacks from all over the world—per tours and your own personal travel—and other miscellaneous items that showed off your differing personalities. You made it a space that felt welcoming, that you looked forward to returning to.

The lighting upstairs was dimmed to a comforting level, dark enough to relax but bright enough to where you could make out where you were going. Soft music pulled you into your shared bedroom, the smooth voice of Nat King Cole deepening the lovesick trance flooding your mental state.

Behind the instrumental, you could hear him humming along to the song, singing the words like he hadn’t heard you come in.. which, it seemed like he did not from the way he remained kneeled by the tub. His extended fingers swiped under the faucet to check the temperature of the running water, assuming it was warm enough from the content facial expression he wore on his face. Not wanting to startle him but transfixed on the scene, you stayed by the doorframe of the bathroom, leaning against it with your arms loosely crossed over your chest.

“Ever plan on making yourself known, mama?”

Josh spoke up first yet didn’t turn his focus away from the tub he was dressing, only standing up to reach the bubbles that were on the metal shelving below the shower head. He popped the cork off the glass bottle and poured the liquid towards the stream, bubbles forming on the top of the setting water soon after.

“I don’t think so. I’m actually pretty fine with just staying silent and watching you like this.. so domestic. Cute. You make me feel loved without having to speak any words.”

Taking a few steps forward, you were finally in the bathroom with him, closer as you’d like to be but still a little ways from him. Near the sink, you hoisted yourself up onto the marble counter, careful to avoid the candles he had set up so nicely around the otherwise clear space.

Sitting from this new perspective, you could take in even more of the details he had clearly put a lot of thought towards. Tealight candles were placed along the sides of the tub, adjacent to where the faucet was, two long glasses that were not yet filled with the still closed bottle of wine that sat by the bottom of the tub. He had bought a heart shaped box of chocolate too, just to stay somewhat traditional.

“I couldn’t not do something for you, you know. This was bound to happen whether we agreed or not. I need to take every opportunity there is to show you what you mean to me.. to spoil you, to simply love you.”

While he spoke, the track switched over to another soft melody without lyrics. Josh finally took that moment to fully stand up and turn around to face you. His rosy cheeks were full as he smiled at you and his eyes gleamed without the effect of upper lights, it was all from the inside. It was all sparkle from the love he felt for you. God, did he love you. You consumed his every waking thought and without you, he wouldn’t be living—would not feel alive—he would not exist. Your love, what love he had for you fueled him more than anything else. That was his oxygen.

“I love you, Joshua.”

Tears brimmed your eyes, threatening to fall from the overwhelming emotion that now possessed the room. You were in love with him. What you had with him was only pictured in love stories, what you felt for him seemed almost impossible to reach had it been with anyone other than him. This was unique, a one of a kind type of thing.

“Oh, sunshine. C’mere.”

Like a magnet, you ended up pressed against his chest, his muscular arms wrapped securely around your frame. His soft lips tenderly kissed over your flushed face as you cried. Josh took care of you like he always did, in the best way he could, as much as possible. Pulling back from you, his large hands laid over the expanse of your back, still keeping you close.

“Feel better? Wanna join me for a bath, baby?”

You managed a nod through your pitiful sniffles. In that moment, you felt the level of importance he held you to and in that same second, you also feared this love. This overpowering love that you always thought could be taken away from you before you got the chance to grip onto it. Your mind was a maze of possibilities that weren’t far fetched but as they came to the surface, Josh was there to pull you away from them. He was there to reassure you they’d never come true, that he would stick by you through the thick and thin.. which he proved time and time again. You weren’t the easiest to love but he made it feel otherwise.

“I’ll help you get out of these clothes, okay? Just want you to relax tonight, spend a little time with me. Does that sound nice?”

He leaned in and kissed the very tip of your nose, his eyelashes fluttering against yours. Another way he showed his affection, with sneaky butterfly kisses. You giggled and he smiled wider, realizing his attempt to get you to crack had worked in his favor. Josh made your personal space his own as he placed more kisses away from your nose and down your flushed cheek, trailing to your chin then back up to the side of your face. All while shedding you from your day clothes; working to pull off your—his jacket, letting it fall to the floor. Kissing over to your ear, he earned light laughter out of you, his fingers tucked under the hem of your shirt.

“I’m going to marry you—gonna make you my bride. Then, we’re going to have as many kids as you want.. two, if I remember correctly. We’ll grow old together. I’ll kiss you until I take my final breath.”

Soft promises he spoke, his cheek now pressed to yours, fingers working with the clasp of your bra. An ever growing pile of fabric now existed on the tiles next to your feet.

“I’ll search for you in every lifetime after this one just to experience this kind of love again.”

Peppering kisses down your chin, the middle of your throat, over your collarbones, down your chest, tummy.. his hands placed on your hips, him kneeled on the ground, looking up at you with those full brown eyes. He kissed the button of your jeans before undoing it, pulling the zipper down, ridding you of your pants and undergarments. You stepped out of them and he rose, taking your hand in his, leading you over to the tub now filled plenty with the sweet aroma of lavender and bubbles. You looked back at him; he smiled.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to join you. Just let me get undressed too.. unless you want me clothed?”

Giggling, you shook your head.

“No, let me see you. You’re so beautiful. I need to see you.”

He nodded, watching you step into the bath and slowly descend into the water. Likewise to how he assisted you, Josh undressed himself and kicked his clothing to join yours.

“Oh! The candles. I can’t forget about those, they’ll make the experience even more enjoyable.”

Your arms rested on the side of the tub, folded on top of each other as you watched your living Greek god pace the floor of the bathroom and resurrect a dancing flame to each portion of wax. Vanilla joined lavender, a delightful mix of light scents filling the air. You sighed and closed your eyes, feeling Josh step into the water beside you. Bringing you into his embrace, your back laid against his chest, his chin resting on your shoulder.

Time passed slowly as you basked in the warmth emitting from the man behind you and the water you bathed in, not a single negative thought daring to cross your mind, no nerve threatening to ruin this experience. You were in Heaven and Josh, the angel sent to present you peace.

“Want some wine? S’white, bought it this morning just for you.”

He muttered into the crook of your neck, adjusting just enough to reach the bottle that was dunked in a bucket of ice beside the tub. Removing the twist cap, he let it fall past his fingers. Each glass was poured to about half, him presenting you with yours before fixing his own. When they were both ready, he gently clinked his to yours.

“To now.. and however long the cosmos allow us to stick together, my love.”

You craned your neck to look at him. Josh kissed your forehead. He took a sip of his wine. You looked down at yours. Bubbles formed at the top, popping as you tilted the glass, the liquid slipping past your lips.

Tart and sweet.

—

Bitter.

Staring down at your drink, ice bobbed up and down in the dark liquor. You don’t know what you ordered from the bar, just that you requested something strong enough to make the night go by quicker. Something to distract you from the feelings eating away at your heart and the thoughts clouding your mind.

From across the room, you could hear the faint sound of laughter. One was more prominent than the rest and instead of swimming towards it like you often used to do, you let it pull you under and drown you under the waves. Where it went wrong, you don’t know. You don’t even know if it went at all. Just that one night you were in love and the next.. the next, he hit the road and you were nothing but an afterthought. Another lover left in the dust with remnants of a one-sided romance.

You heard she was pretty. A friend of a friend. Her eyes were brighter than yours, teeth straighter. She had talent. He wanted more.

He wanted more and you gave him more, but it didn’t hold to the same standard as the music. The music was a priority. You were not.

At this point, you can’t remember if she was an actual person or if she was something you came up with to make yourself feel better in some sort of sick way. If you had a reason why he left, that would make it more bearable. You could understand it. You could understand if he met another and decided they were better in every way there is to be.

You took another swig of the dark liquor and let the empty class clank against the surface of the bar.

It was easier to play pretend than it was to face this reality that you were stuck in. A reality where you no longer had him. A reality where the universe suddenly decided that the time you had spent together was enough. You often thought about if it were easy for him. How easy it was for him. You couldn’t get away from his name in this city. You saw him when you tried to avoid the public by looking at your screen. He was here, there, everywhere that you sought. You ordered another drink. He’s laughing again. A tear runs down your cheek.

It’s a shame that it ends this way.

#josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka #josh kiszka gvf #josh kiszka greta van fleet #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf #josh gvf #josh kiszka fluff #gvf fanfiction #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fanfic

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welcome-to-the-neotheater · 3 months

Text

Non-Comprehensive List of Things I Love About AJR City Savers

AJR WEBISODE: CITY SAVERS (youtube.com)

keep reading because loooooooooooooooooong post

0:00, I love the implication that they are spending 3/4 of their waking hours on this club and they don't have any free time between that and the band

0:12-0:15, he's holding this box with his bare hands normally for a few good seconds here, and only at the end does he decide that its actually super radioactive and he jerks his hand away from it really fast

0:20 Yeah that's going to help get the paint off

0:23 The old logo looks really weird to me after being used to the current one

0:30 he is so fucking proud of himself for putting a leaf into the trash can

0:35 "We founded this city savers club to protect this fine city we live in", the protection of course being kicking a piece of cardboard about 5 feet

0:38 "We start off at 4:30 in the morning, first item on the agenda, song" They're singing songs for the public, (specifically, the "youth" , 1:10) at 4:30 in the morning, "first item on the agenda"

0:48 none of the children are paying any attention to his song, the only one who even looks at the camera is a parent who, if anything, seems unimpressed

0:52 they did this shit in public

1:06 great camera work there

1:13 "We really feel like it gets our message across"

1:20 this is entirely useless

1:35 Does he have a meterstick? How does he know?

1:37 There's no god damn way they can hear him inside their fast cars, probably with windows up with him speaking at slightly above speaking voice

1:42 "Morning Deb!"

1:46 Outfit change from previous scene, these are different days. He does this regularly.

1:53 "NO!"

1:57 He's no longer doing something useless, this is actually disruptive, as you can tell from the honks

1:59 Unless one was added in the jump cut, you can see in the previous shot there was not, in fact, a baby blue jay's nest right there

1:59 What purpose does the word "baby" in "baby blue jay's nest" serve? Correct me if im not up to date on bird knowledge, but aren't all nests built by adult birds build the nests for their babies? Is he trying to say that the baby blue bird built the nest? I don't think baby birds can build nests. Is he just referring to the fact that the birds that live in the nests are babies? This is either redundant or wrong.

2:05 "I've submitted my application for the city savers club almost a dozen times now... I really hope I get in this month". He has been applying to enter this "club" (it has 2 members and does nothing of value) for almost a year.

2:17 Jack checks behind the curtain as if there's any way Adam was just hiding behind the curtain

2:22 Ryan is already so bored

2:28 I counted a 5 second pause before "What?"

2:40 Their brother attached a headshot in his resume as if they wouldn't know what he looked like.

2:43-48 this is just great

2:05-48 Jack and Ryan have created this fake club and have, for almost a year, been holding this over their older brother's head and having him submit formal applications to join his younger brothers' fake club and they have been denying all of them. If that isn't the most sibling shit out there, I don't know what is

2:48 "Graffiti" is a child's chalk drawing

2:55 "Can't get this out", he's using his shoe to remove washable childs chalk from the street. "Can't get this out" have you tried water??? They have to make that shit so it's easy to get out of children's clothes, and so that it washes away when it rains, if this "graffiti" is such a problem get some water and spray it

3:01 "Surprisingly pigeons don't just eat breadcrumbs". Look, I've never been to New York, but if the pigeons there are anything like seagulls, it should be 0 surprise to someone that's grown up there that the pigeons will eat whatever you give to them.

Idk what those are (skittles?) but they don't look like you should be feeding them to pigeons

3:07, they're feeding chunky peanut butter to the pigeons. naturally

3:12 LEE!!!!!!!

3:18 He runs away immediately after hearing they're going to try to put that sweater on him

3:20 They were already talking to him at an unreasonable distance apart but now even more so as he's gone entirely off screen and they continue to talk normally to him for I counted 7 seconds.

3:27 The cut off "Lee-". How long did they do that for?

3:29 Gotta love the "we're saving the world!" music that comes in here

3:30 Pre 2020 mask

3:33 All of the water has fallen out of his hands before he reaches the plant

3:37-41 I don't know if this was planned, I don't want to know if that was intentional

3:52 Wow! Look at this plant!

Throughout the entirety of this video they do nothing actually helpful for the city (yet continuously act like they're saving the world). Their "good deeds" are either entirely pointless ("traffic control", trying to get rid off the paint with his foot at 0:20, "singing for the youth", "watering" that plant) or actually slightly harmful (blocking some car because of an invisible blue jays nest, refusing to let their brother into the club, feeding shit to pigeons that they should not be doing, trying to get rid of a child's drawing)

Jack stated in an interview once that he's actually afraid of pigeons

Adam is a climate activist now, and I like to think that stemmed from not being allowed into city savers

Damn did I write a lot for a video under 4 minutes. I feel like one of those people that keeps interrupting movies to talk about deeper meanings or explain the jokes now.

#ajr #ajr brothers #ajr songs #maybe my friends are right about me being autistic #oh well

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womanexile · 1 day

Text

Chole or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

Your hologram stumbled into my apartment

Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness

Named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

And I just watched it happen

As the decade would play us for fools

And you saw my bones out with somebody new

Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school

And you just watched it happen

Complicated Freak-“she got wrapped up in somebody else”

IION?-“was it over when she laid down on your couch? Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?”

This Love-“tossing turning, stuggled through the night with someone new”

Harry might have watched her date other people but he didn’t like it.

Happily-“you don’t understand, what you do to me when you hold his hand”

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart-“I don’t ever ask you where you’ve been and I don’t feel the need to know who your with” “I know I’m not your only but at least I’m one”

Without You (HS unreleased)-“Now you’re with him, I must admit I’m missing, The part of your skin, You always liked me kissing”

Him (HS unreleased)-“I don’t want to hear about him”

Woman-“I’m selfish, I know but I don’t ever want to see you with him” “He’s right where I should, where I should be”

Someday-“and I won’t lie, its hard seeing you with him”

If you wanna break my cold, cold heart

Just say, "I loved you the way that you were"

This could be a reference to Taylor feeling like she has to constantly reinvent herself in order to stay relevant. Him saying ‘I loved you the way that you were’ means that he didn’t need her to stay relevant, he would love anyway.

Lay Down (HS unreleased)-“‘Cause you’re wonderful”

Fool’s Gold-“and in knew that you turned it on for everyone that you met”

Make My Day (HS unreleased)-“I don’t want you perfect, Don’t want you sweet, But you make my day and make my whole week”

If you wanna tear my world apart

Just say you've always wondered

You said some things that I can't unabsorb

You turned me into an idea of sorts

This suggests that he put her up on a pedestal, so that the idea of her was better than she herself was.

Trouble-“if I could have a hundred things, not one of them could compare to you”

You needed me, but you needed drugs more

Question…?-“but you were something, it was one drink after the other”

As It Was-“why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?”

Harry has several song on his album about cocaine usage and he did admit to writing some of Fine Line on psychedelic drugs.

And I couldn't watch it happen

I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools

Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

Right where you left me-“Trends change, rumors fly through new skies, But l'm right where you left me”

All to outrun my desertion of you

And you just watched it

If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh

Down that passage in time back to the moment

I crashed into you, like so many wrecks do

Too impaired by my youth to know what to do

She analyzes every ‘sigh’ from her partner, strolling down memory lane in search of clues that might explain his departure. Taylor questions whether she appeared ‘too much’ like previous girls (crashed into him), perhaps overly enthusiastic (too impaired by her youth)

So if I sell my apartment

And you have some kids with an internet starlet

The 1-“You meet some woman on the internet and take her home”

Right where you left me-“I’m sure that you got a wife out there, kids and Christmas but I’m unaware”

Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?

Maroon-“and I wake with your memory over me”

Like it never happened

Could it be enough to just float in your orbit?

Satellite-“I go round and round, satellite”

Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?

Can we watch the ghosts of us with the same reverence, admiration and respect we watch wild horses? Wild horses are beautiful in their wildness, but man always want to tame them. Can we look at them without wanting them to be anything else than exactly what they are?

This Love-“your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees”

Two Ghosts-“We’re just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me”

…Ready for It?-“but if he’s a ghost, then I can be a phantom”

Cooler in theory, but not if you force it to be

It just didn't happen

The 1-“and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed”

So if you wanna break my cold, cold heart

Say you loved me

And if you wanna tear my world apart

Say you'll always wonder

'Cause I wonder

Will I always

Will I always wonder?

Without You (HS unreleased)-“I know we’ll move on, As time carries on, I still leave an open door”

The 1-“I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different would everything be different today?”

Cardigan-“I knew you’d haunt all of my what-if?”

Question…?-“does it ever feel like everything just like second best after that meteor strike”

Guilty As Sin?-“they don’t know how you’ve haunted me so stunningly”

Super Pretty(HS unreleased)-“I was waiting here, my love, After all these years, do you think of me, In the way I think of you?

#haylor #taylor swift #harry styles #the tortured poets department #chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

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starseneyes · 1 year

Text

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 13

Daddy Cop AKA "Friends Don't Let Friends Murder Board… Alone"

After watching 5x13, I really didn't think I could write the Meta until I had 5x14 for additional context. But after taking a step back and re-evaluating my hangups, I found a way. I do hope you enjoy it!

SPOILER ALERT: If you're looking for a nice, safe, spoiler-free zone... I'm sorry, this ain't it. I will spoil the entirety of the episode and perhaps the entire series to date. It's a LOT of fun, though, if you're up for it!

Ready to see what awaits our delightful duo now that Chenford Coitus has been achieved? Let's dive in!

Nobody Puts Timmy In A Corner

Lucy is sitting at the back of Roll Call so she can keep an eye on Tim. He doesn't even have to turn around for her to feel the misery coming off of him, even through the walls.

Tim hates this. But it's what he has to do for love, right?

My Chair is Moving

Like, this was so personal, and yet so sweet. She totally turned his chair toward her, and he was happy to go along because—let's be real—she's the best part of his day.

Seeing Tim without his set up for his camera on his chest is strange. I know it hasn't been there all along series-wise, but it really stood out to me watching this scene. No need for them to monitor what he's doing with the public because he no longer see the public. He sees... part of a window.

It's been one week based on Canon, so we know he's already bored out of his mind... no matter what he tells his girlfriend. (I will never get over getting to call Lucy Chen that! She's Tim Bradford's girlfriend)

"I thought we said we wound never lie to each other."

There are a million conversations happening between these two that we never see. We have fan fiction where we can speculate on it, but at first blush I really appreciated this glimpse into their shared code.

Now, they spend the entire episode going against said code (which I'll get into at the end of this Meta), but I do like that we have insight into what happens when the camera's not rolling between Tim and Lucy.

"That was a lie." "You're miserable."

She knows her man. I mean, anyone paying attention can tell that Tim's having a horrible time working at a desk. Now, he's got productivity up and whatnot, but he's miserable.

We saw him make the sacrifice play in 5x12, but now seeing him living it is akin to us hearing about the Monster that was his father and then meeting the man, ourselves. It's about as bad as imagined, in both cases, but there's something about seeing it that makes it more "real".

Desk work for Tim Bradford is bleak. But, he'll do whatever it takes to be with the woman he loves.

"No. It's not that bad. Nice people. Low stress. Wait, wait that reminds me... next week." "Thank you." "You're welcome. Be safe out there. I'll see you at the end of shift."

I'm reminded of 4x01 when Lucy asked Tim to be careful over the phone. "I always am," he said. This time, it's Tim who's staying in place and Lucy who's on the move.

And the face she gave him when he gave her the thumbs up? Like, "don't give me the bad baseball thumbs up!" She gives him an aghast look, but he follows up quickly enough to reference the end of shift—his happy place.

The same schedule means they can see each other every day, yes, but during the day it's bloody torture for Tim. There was a song in my youth about living for the weekends. Right now, Tim is living for end-of-shift. (originally I typoed to "end-of-shirt" and that kinda works, too, if ya know what I mean)

When she walks away, he exhales, thinking his charade worked. Hell, no, Tim, my boy. Your girl knows when you're hurting. ("I rode long enough with you to know when you are being you and when you're upset")

Lucy is in the best relationship of her life. No way she's going to stand still while he's struggling. This is the ultimate give-and-take. Tim steps back for Lucy, Lucy steps up for Tim.

"I'm just trying to find a way to keep him from losing his mind." "Is there no other position he can move into?" "No. Everything's at a standstill."

Stripping away the "do they know" question (which I cover in the summary at the end of this Meta), I'm going to just talk about Nyla and Lucy watching out for Tim.

Lucy intervening on Tim's behalf is not surprising. She stood up for him against the Sergeant who wasn't taking the fender-bender case seriously. She recorded multiple books-on-tape for him so he could study for the Sergeant's exam. Heck, she helped renovate his home while he was dating Discount Barbie.

So, Lucy stepping up for Tim would never be what raised red flags on their relationship status change. Yes, I expected someone to comment on Tim being "punished" or something if they weren't aware of the relationship, but since they didn't, we work with what we've got.

And what we've got is everyone aware that Tim's in a job he hates and wants out of.

"Alright, well, then you're going to have to shake things up… create an opening... It means you've gotta get creative. Find a weak link and start a 5-player trade." "Say more."

"Say more" cracks me up. It's so smooth and welcoming.

Girlfriend is finally seeing an angle for her "find Tim a new job" plan. It reminds me of her telling him, once, that he's the king of coming at problems from a sideways angle. Looks like the student really has become the master!

"Metro would be a good fit for Tim... I mean, Hicks might be up for a transfer, a bit more family time... if he left Metro, Tim could take his spot."

The one part I skipped over here is the part that I think would be an interesting test for Tim and Lucy—can they navigate the brutal hours?

I tried to look up the LA Metro to get a little more intel (yes, I'm that Meta writer), but information's sparse online in terms of actual timelines for the teams and shifts. There's likely good reason for it ("Hey, coppers! When will you be off the streets so we can pilfer some golden duckets?"), but I had to check. It's the journalist in me.

It's not like we've never seen Metro before on this show. I was watching an episode the other day where they radio'd to call in Metro and we saw a bunch of folks we didn't know in tactical vests show up. They'll find ways to tie Tim in, I'm sure, but I'll be curious to see if/how it affects Tim and Lucy's relationship.

"What could go wrong?" "A lot for both you and Tim. If Sergeants feel like they're being manipulated, they will never trust you again. And they talk. So the next time you need a favor, and you will, the answer will be no. Forever. So, tread lightly."

Will there be any consequences for all this? I've seen the speculation, but I think all this warning did was encourage Lucy to be crafty. See Exhibit A below.

"Uh, listen, my roommate is an excellent babysitter and she's always looking for work if you ever need someone."

Never underestimate the power of childcare. Especially for parents of multiples. I only had twins, and I can still imagine the chaos of that poor man's house and life. It's a gift, yes, but I wouldn't wish twins on my worst enemy.

Every time I see a character on a show having multiples, I wonder who in the Writer's Room hated them, because it's a tough, tough road. I love my boys forever and ever. But it's a unique challenge raising multiples.

And Hicks is intrigued. Because finding people to watch multiples can be a nightmare, too. Trust me. I've been there and tried all the sites before I finally gave up on Brick-and-Mortar and started working for myself.

The Gang's All Here

This was my second favorite scene of the entire episode. I love the Found Family trope. I love that there is this core of people who have decided to not only work together, but to do life together.

I don't have that through any of my brick-and-mortar jobs (mostly back-stabbers and high drama, there), but I do have it from University. 20 years with the best friends in the world. So, I see these scenes and I see my own Found Family reflected there.

As each group files in (and someone over on Twitter noted quite brilliantly how each door opening coincides with a different method of announcement—knocking, ringing, walking right in), it's adding the layers to the scene. It's not convoluted or complicated or cachophonic. It's harmonious.

You can see how all these very different people work together, compliment one another, and fit together into a jigsaw puzzle of friendship.

And to know that Tim's friends band together to come to his aid means so much. But I hate that he doesn't know.

I understand the subterfuge of doing something great for someone you love—orchestrating a great something. My husband did it for me through a four-hour scavenger hunt marriage proposal that took me through several cities before arriving in the theater where we met. He had production meetings for that proposal.

So, I'm not frustrated at the fact that Lucy did this without taking credit for it. I've done things in secret for my loveyby and him for me.

However, I wish Tim knew how much he was loved. I don't think he fully comprehends that yet, and since this wasn't used as an opportunity to demonstrate that to him, I'm hoping that'll come down the line.

Look, when you grow up thinking you're unlovable, it's powerful when your friends come through for you.

My husband and I had to get a new fridge a few months back. Old one died. But we couldn't afford to go through a box store, so we went Outlet and had to transport it ourselves. One friend fractured a finger. Four others worked together to dismantle and reassemble it to get it into the house. It took 2 hours. They had come over for Matthew's birthday party and instead we moved a fridge.

And not one person complained. We all laughed. We took hilarious photos. We had an amazing time. Because, finally, we have people in our lives who love us without condition.

Tim has that, too, but I sometimes think he doesn't fully understand it. I do wish he knew how much they love him and how they all came together to help him as an act of love.

And if he doesn't find out about this, I do hope there's still a time down the line when Tim Bradford will fully realize how much his Found Family loves him.

"Oh, you look surprised. Wait, weren't you on the group text?"

I'm DYING. DYING that they have a group chat and somehow Nolan still missed it. I know he said that he unplugs when he gets home (which is a great thing to do, but I don't know if he'll continue to move up the ranks without being more easy-to-reach). But it really made me cackle.

And I have to say that the choice to put the post-its on the windows so they could shoot through was really genius. My favorite logistical decision of the episode. Credit to the writer, director, set designer, or whoever said, "This is the way".

But Tim's reaction to Nolan throwing up his arm to block his way cracked me up. Like, Eric Winter's physicality as Tim never fails to amuse and amaze.

And Lucy's "where the hell do I put these things!?" face had me rolling. Melissa O'Neil has had a lot of room for humor these past few episodes, and it's fun to see her show off her chops.

"Is that Lucy's car?"

Yes, Tim. And Wesley's, James'. It's a party! But, of course, the only one he cares about belongs to his love.

And how on-brand is it for Tim that he doesn't care about the air conditioning ("air conditioning makes you soft") but he was all about getting to watch the game? I cackled.

Tim clocks Lucy across the room and Angela clocks their interaction, casting knowing glances towards Bailey and Nyla. Hermana, never change. That choice was all Alyssa Diaz and I love it.

"You okay?" "Yeah. Couldn't be better."

It's not a lie! But, she certainly has a lot on her mind, and as soon as he walks into the room, Tim's forgotten the game. He's focused solely on her.

Smitty and Lucy

This is a tiny detail I spotted as Lucy walks into the room, but it made me laugh. The sign on the door has been switched to "occupied" but the door is wide open. Did Smitty set it to occupied but forget to close the door? Did someone else switch the sign to warn of Smitty? The possibilities are hilarious!

And Lucy Chen loves Tim Bradford so much that she's willing to make a blind deal with Smitty, of all people. And does Smitty know about Lucy and Tim? Is he writing fanfiction of the two of them at his desk instead of working?

"Nothing weird." "Nothing weird. I promise."

Because with Smitty, you have to clarify. Still, she's braver than I am to make this deal with zero idea what he'll demand in return for this favor.

"Deal."

Taking your husband's words? I stan a couple who are so in love they pick up on one another's phrasing. I can think of two recent examples of Tim ending a conversation with "Deal" from my re-viewings. With Genny at their family house, and with Lucy when she told him to ask her out, again, after she dumped Dead-Weight-Chris.

So, Lucy's subconsciously picking up on Tim's words, and that cracks me up.

My husband picks up on my phrasing, but it's more obvious because I make up things. Like when our twins were tiny and complaining about random things, I'd call them "Complainababy" and if they were congested they were "Conjestababy". Yes, I understand normal people don't do that. I embrace who I am.

And watch how she flexes her hands as soon as she leaves the room to rid herself of the awful feeling of making a deal with the Smitty. Sorry, Lucy, but there won't be enough hand sanitizer in the world to save you from what he has planned for you.

"Hey." "Hey." "I just heard Lauren Fuji is retiring." "Really? That's surprising."

I have thoughts about this that are at the bottom of the episode notes, so skip there if you want my honest thoughts on this right away. Or you can keep reading the Meta and we'll get to that later.

"Don't you get it? It means there's an opening in Metro. Well, at least there was."

This is the first information to Lucy that's new, and she cocks her head at it. Because it is completely plausible that someone else swooped in and took the position she tried so hard to hand-carve for Tim. And that would suck, but it can totally happen.

And I love the way Tim (via Eric Winter) is punctuating his words, here. Tim is pumped up and excited, and it's so beautiful to see. He has been through so much heartache throughout the run of this show. We've seen Tim Bradford at his lowest.

But now we get to see him on the way up in a big way.

"Lieutenant Pine just called me 15 minutes ago, and I'm going over."

Timothy Bradford, you are gushing with excitement as you talk to your woman. I love how he leans forward toward her, like a kid with a secret that they can't help but share on the playground.

"That's great! Congratulations."

Lucy gives him a chest tap because she is truly excited for her man. I'm a tapper, myself, with my husband. So I think it's cute we share that, me and my fictional bestie.

But, she's also looking around the station to see if anyone noticed.

"Thanks. Grey gave me rock star review." "Well, he should. You're amazing."

Lucy's heart eyes and Tim's smile are sending me. He is smiling with all his teeth and every beautiful laugh line is alight with pure joy.

I'm also strangely excited to learn that Eric Winter's nose wrinkles like mine when he smiles big, sometimes, and that's so oddly comforting. My Eldest's nose does the same thing.

And how telling is it that we've had 5 years of watching Tim Bradford before I knew this little fact about his smile because we have never seen him smile like this before?

"I'm excited." *giggle* "I'm excited!"

There is something so sweet about excitement being such a foreign emotion to Tim that he has to verbalize it. Like it's bubbling out of him at a rate he can't control because he isn't accustomed to joy.

The last time he was happy, he was working the beat and was married to Isabelle. But, I argue, this is joy, not happiness bred of happenstance. Tim Bradford is bubbling with joy.

Professionally, his greatest fear has been advancing to the point that he's trapped at a desk. Tim likes to be on the streets, in the middle of the action, making things happen. Sitting might be great for Smitty, but not for Tim.

He took that hit for the love of Lucy. Now, everything in this episode implies that this was a waystation situation, where Tim was waiting for an opening to make a move. Grey tells him to "hang in there" and Nyla seems completely aware that they're waiting for something to open up to move him over.

His main goal in taking this desk job was to keep Lucy at Mid-Wilshire. The icing on the cake was that they got to see each other every day and didn't have to deal with syncing shifts.

Lucy knew before Tim took the job that he'd be positively miserable. The staging literally has him in a corner with his back to Roll Call, his back to the action, his back to what he loves.

Now, he's moving up to Metro, and it's definitely movement forward in his career, gets him back out on the streets, and keeps his relationship with Lucy from crossing any lines that might warrant an IA investigation.

The Tim Bradford we met in the Pilot was a man whose life was on pause. He was in a holding pattern with his job, with his wife, with his sense of self. Lucy entered his life, and it's like someone pressed "Play", again.

And it wasn't even romantic, at the beginning. Lucy is just this ball of light that stepped into his world. At first, it was blinding to him and he bit back at her as much as she snapped at him. But as she refined her glow, he softened his gaze, and they somehow met in the middle when the time was right.

Tim Bradford today is a man who has faced his trauma with his father head-on. Is there still healing to do? Hell, yeah. But he's on his way, now, instead of repressing and avoiding. He's working on his relationship with his little sister.

He's trying to be a complete human being—not only running from the image of his father, but embracing all the best parts of himself and owning them as his own unique identity.

Tim Bradford is closer to himself than he's been in a long time. Peeling back the layers of anguish, trauma, heartache, and abuse... it's taken time. And Lucy's been there for so much of it. For her to be the love of his life? Only fate (and the writers) could weave the tapestry so aptly.

Tim is excited. He has something to look forward to every day in his job. He has something to look forward to every night with the woman he loves. He's no longer looking back. For the first time in his life, Tim can truly look forward with excitement.

And Lucy's giggle!? I love her giggle. I doubt she's ever seen Tim this giddy and it made her giggle. And, yes, we know that she made that happen.

And, let me tell you, it's fun when you can make something happen for the person that you love. Puts a special warmth in your chest the bubbles out, sometimes.

"Let's go to dinner tonight and celebrate."

The cadence here reminds me of Tim telling Angela to proudly show off her baby belly while wedding dress shopping. It's a type of abandon we've heard in Tim's voice only when directed at other people and never at himself.

Tim wants to celebrate this amazing achievement. He wants to celebrate something amazing that happened to him. Before, he wasn't that jazzed about his award, except for how it could help with his forward momentum. Jackson built a shelf for his (with Nolan's help), and Tim probably has his in the back of his closet.

But Tim was excited about making Sergeant (remember his pride hanging up his new uniform before he opened his locker to see the booties?) and he's proud of this. But, it's amplified because Tim Bradford's life is finally coming together.

Career. Love. Found Family (even if he doesn't yet realize it). Sibling Relationship. Finances (he and Genny made bank on that house sale in the LA Real Estate Market). Tim's life is coming up Roses.

"Do you need any help?"

I have seen a few people disappointed that Tim didn't show up to help her at the end, but he asked her if she needed him and she said she had to do it alone.

He's not going to go against her wishes because he has learned to trust her and her judgment. He knows that if she truly needs him, she will ask. Lucy's far past not asking Tim for what she needs.

He talked out Emmett with her once he understood that's what she needed. He gave her a hug after Jackson's death.

"But tomorrow it is a date. We are gonna celebrate you. Congratulations. They're really lucky to have you." "Thank you."

Tim can't help himself. He reaches for her left hand with his right. He wants to touch her. He wants to be closer to her. Because he has never been this happy.

Lucy giggles as he briefly holds her hand before she separates herself. But, I swear, that man looked like he wanted to kiss her right then and there.

"Good Job!"

She taps his arm, again, as he goes. And, wow, I can't remember seeing Tim smile this much with teeth ever. He's beaming as he watches her go, his eyes trailing after her until the last second he can no longer see her.

He nods to himself. "Yup. That's the woman I'm going to marry." Not right this moment, obviously, because we're all enjoying the ride and there's no rush. But, someday. And he knows it.

I've seen folks worried about his face falling, but I think we're simply unaccustomed to seeing Tim's face resolve to neutral after a big smile. Something about his face threw me back to 5x02, so I went back and looked. And, yup, tears in his eyes, here, too. Tears of joy.

Tim Bradford is joyful, my friends. So full of joy that it's overflowing. And after all the heartache, heartbreak, and pure hell of his life... it makes it all the sweeter.

This man would do anything for her. She would do anything for him. In one another they've found their equal—that one person who meets them where they are in intensity and devotion.

One flame does not overwhelm the other, but they help each other's glow brighter and stronger. When one is dimming, the other provides the light.

This give-and-take is the culmination of years of long nights, early mornings, complex conversations, deep dives, flare ups, cool downs, in-jokes, and trust building. It's fictional, sure, but we're getting to see true love in real-time, and I am so thankful for this ride.

"I'll admit, I've been lax about cleaning it." "How lax?" "Either Clinton or Bush was the president." "Which Bush!?"

I laughed so hard at this line. It cracked me up so bad I didn't even hear the next lines. Of course, I went back and figured it out, but I love Smitty. In small doses, he really does add a bit of levity to the show.

Also, Lucy in a hazmat suit!? The things she does for love.

Because, even though we didn't see Tim and Lucy in a post-coital cuddle-fest, or a shirtless trek through Lucy's kitchen, or even a kiss between these two this week... we're getting to see sacrificial love. Not the kind that gives too much, but the kind that gives-and-takes.

Tim and Lucy are in love (even if they haven't uttered the words, yet). They're demonstrating it through how they treat one another, and it's such a beautiful reminder that relationships are so much more than sex and attraction.

It's about growing together, supporting one another, calling each other on your crap, and finding ways through the hardships of life together.

This is a place where The Rookie really excels. They show couples who work through life together, who love each other even when there is no cozy morning-after because they overslept, or the alarm went off too early, or a dog or kid needs something.

Love is complex and layered, and I love that we're not seeing Tim and Lucy in pound town every week. Like, sure, they're going there, but to see a healthy relationship? That is what both Tim and Lucy have lacked until now.

Tim and Lucy finally have a love that matches their souls. I'm grateful for every morsel of it that we get to see on screen. But just knowing that Tim and Lucy are this unbelievably happy and they're together? That's enough for me.

I used to watch Janeway and Chakotay touch once every 10 episodes and call it a victory. Mulder and Scully danced around each other forever and I was able to cope. So, the scenes we get of Chenford feel like four course meals, and I'm thankful to eat them again, and again, and again. The meals... I mean.

So, what were Rachel's hangups on this one? Lies, Clarity, and Metro. For separate reasons, I got a little stuck on these three.

Lies

I have a big problem with lies, as some readers know. When Lucy and Tim mentioned they promised not to lie to one another and then spent the entire episode lying, it got under my skin.

Now, I'm all for Loving Spousal Surprises. I've given them (my husband's 30th Nerf Battle Surprise Birthday) and received them (4-hr scavenger hunt Engagement).

But hearing the promise at the beginning followed by a whole episode of lying triggered my trauma.

I started writing the Meta and it was too colored by my own experiences. So, I stepped back, deleted everything I wrote, and started fresh with just the bones.

Sometimes, we have to be careful our past prejudices don't ruin our present experiences. At least, that's something I've learned.

Clarity

The ambiguity as to whether the team is in-the-know, oblivious, or pretending-to-be-oblivious regarding Chenford was frustrating. It made it really hard to write because I felt like the cues from the scenes shifted throughout the episode going in multiple directions.

I am not a person who minds that we didn't get a Morning After (plenty of time to see Domestic Chenford), or that we didn't get the DOD Tattoo (it's hers, not theirs), and I wouldn't even mind if we missed seeing everyone find out/announce they know.

From the first scene with Nyla, I thought they were obviously open about their dating. But, then at Nolan's, Angela was giving "knowing" eyes and Tim kept his distance. Then it was over to the final Chenford scene where Lucy and Tim both look guarded about who might be watching.

My take? I figured everyone knew but Chenford thought they didn't. But, that's a far bigger guess than most of my guesses, so I felt uncomfortable writing it. I like to draw from what I see, not try to draw over it. I'm a hapless fan sharing uneducated interpretations, not the writer of the scenes.

So, I tried to avoid talking about it with this Meta since I don't feel like I can yet speak with certainty on the matter.

Metro

"If you ever do consider Metro, give me a call."

If it was this easy, why did Lucy have to go through a thousand hoops? Sure, it was great practice for the inevitable Wedding Place Setting game down the line, but why was this line here if it wasn't an option for Tim?

And why didn't Nolan say anything during the brainstorming session? I know we like to talk about him being clueless, at times, but he's far from idiotic. It might've been pertinent information, or an "in" to help expedite Tim's ascension.

I struggled with the directionality of the scene. Watching it the first time, I was convinced it would feed into the quest to find Tim a new position. If it wasn't there for Tim, was it to show that Nolan isn't where he's supposed to be? Are we setting up for Nolan to pop over with Tim at some point?

And, again, why didn't anyone think to give her a call about Tim, an officer who is far more seasoned and qualified for the position? No shade thrown at Nolan, but that's objectively true, and I couldn't fathom why this scene was structured the way it was if it wasn't going to help Tim. Maybe it's planting the seed for another episode down the line...

EDIT: The amazing @wordgirl40 pointed out in the comments that all the moving pieces on the board were Sergeants, and that hadn't stuck with me when watching the scene. I still think Nolan could have put in a phone call to help with things, but even that tiny clarification makes it easier to follow. Thank you!

Enough of my hangups. Thanks for bearing with me.

I want to draw out one line that I thought was really interesting, considering the "Found Family" angle of the episode.

Grey told Celina, "You have a new family of brothers and sisters. Remember that."

It's true. Big Brother/TO Tim was the one to realize what was bothering Celina and call her out. And how soft was he with her once he assessed the whole situation (no, he's not single, Carla. Ay, dios mio!)?

Big Brother/TO Nolan ran into the building to retrieve Celina. They had her back professionally and personally.

And the team had Tim and Lucy's backs. Like, this really is a beautiful little Found Family.

When Lucy and Tim do get married, if her parents don't show up, Grey can walk her down the aisle. Tamara will be her Maid of Honor and Tim's Best Woman will be Angela, of course. They'll be surrounded by people who love them without criteria or constraints.

Found Family is often stronger than bio family, I've found. And for Tim and Lucy—two people for whom "family" is a bit broken—their Found Family will always be there for them. For Tim. For Lucy. For Chenford. And for the family they'll build together.

Because love is a gift best given freely and with abandon. That is what this ensemble of characters have. At the end of the day, they will never lack in love.

As always, thanks for reading and bearing with me on the delay on this one. It was the most challenging, thus far. But I'm still loving every second of this Chenford ride.

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #The Rookie #Meta #Lucy x Tim #Tim x Lucy

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cosplayinamerica · 7 months

Text

Anime conventions and their Yamato roots

by Dave Merrill

“Conventional” (ha ha) wisdom says that the first American convention devoted to Japanese animation was Project A-Kon 1990 in Dallas, Texas. This prototypical event was instigated by a group of Texas anime fans gathered under the banner of Star Blazers’“Earth Defense Command,” a Space Battleship Yamato fan club that grew to embrace all of Japanese animation. As of this writing, Project A-Kon is preparing for its 20th show.

But was A-Kon the first anime convention in North America? No. Not even close. For years, we’d seen references and offhand comments about a “YamatoCon” that was held in the Dallas area years earlier. Were these references true? Our crack team of researchers donned their explorer togs, dusted off their pith helmets, and began the harrowing search for enlightenment. Well, to be honest we sent some emails. Here’s what we found…

The first YamatoCon – that is to say, the first American fan convention devoted to Japanese animation – was held on August 13, 1983 at the Harvey Hotel in Dallas Texas. This one-day affair was the brainchild of Mark Hernandez, Don Magness, and Bobb Waller, each of whom had experience in the Dallas comics/SF fandom community and each of whom put up their own hard-earned cash to make YamatoConhappen. Scheduled the next-to-last weekend before school started, Mark Hernandez remembers the planning being as simple as getting commitments from dealers, finding a venue, and setting a date. Yes, it really is that easy to start a convention.

Programming consisted of the first 26 episodes of Star Blazersrecorded off TV, shown in continuous order (minus commercials, of course) and a bonus Yamato film. This 13-hour Journey to Iscandar (“It was a long day,” says Mark) was a primary attraction at YamatoCon, 1983 being a time when VCRs and blank VHS tape were expensive, collections of Star Blazers on video were hard to come by, and the experience of watching Star Blazers outside the morning or afternoon UHF timeslot was a draw in and of itself.

Star Blazers on video wasn’t the only activity, of course. Like other conventions past and future, YamatoCon had a dealers room consisting of 22 tables of for-sale memorabilia. It might sound small by the standards of 25 years later, but we must remember that anime merchandise of the day – what was available in the States, anyway – hadn’t achieved the tidal wave proportions it would reach in the wake of Robotech, to say nothing of the total saturation of the post-Pokemon, post-Sailor Moon years. Anime merchandise in 1983 consisted chiefly of books and model kits. Roman Albums, Anime Comics, black and white manga volumes, the occasional manga weekly, and other publications streaming from Japan in the wake of the Yamato Boom battled for the anime fan dollar alongside model kits from Yamato, Crusher Joe and My Youth In Arcadia…not to mention the endless ranks of giant robot kits from unseen shows like Mobile Suit Gundam, Dougram, Ideon, and something called Macross.Along with the remnants of late 70s super-robot merchandise sold here as Shogun Warriors, the anime con dealers room in the early 1980s was far from barren. In fact, I still waste my money on that sort of stuff.

Also available at YamatoCon were copies of Mark Hernandez and Don Magness’s Star Blazers fanzine Argo Notes. Future EDC officer/contributor, fan artist and “Between Galaxies” author Logan Darklighter won the model contest with, naturally, a Yamatomodel. It proved to be a pivotal day in Texas anime fandom. Approximately 100 attendees and 8 dealers made the show an unqualified success. Don remembers it this way: “I remember we got to the hotel early and set up the rooms, then went out to breakfast. When we got back, there were 3 young men sitting on the front steps, one of them had a convention flyer. Mark asked if they were there for the con, and they said they were. We went inside and out of their hearing range and had a little celebration. 3 people had come! We had no idea that the place would soon be packed.”

A showing of 100 might not sound like a lot in today’s numbers (“that was about 100 more than we expected,” said Don). However, when considered against the attendance at general SF conventions in 1983 – a time when your absolute largest cons MIGHT draw five or six thousand attendees and your typical Dallas or Atlanta comic book show maxed out at three – YamatoCon‘s ability to nail down that many dealers and customers is commendable.

The show’s importance went beyond the one day; people across Texas and indeed, across fandom as a whole, who were unable to attend or who heard about it after the fact were spurred into action by the mere fact of YamatoCon‘s existence. That such a thing could happen – that Americans could organize and hold a successful anime convention – was both revelation and reassurance. Anime fandom was going to be more than just a video room grudgingly tacked onto the local Star Trek show or a half-page of merchandise in the back of the latest issue of Fangoria.

READ THE REST HERE https://ourstarblazers.com/vault/317/

#Fandom history #anime fandom history #convention history #con history #anime cons #Yamato Con

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forjongseong · 2 years

Text

vente conmigo // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader

genre: office!au, fluff, smut, angst towards the end // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; a bunch of 4th gen K-Pop idols make an appearance (as staff); oral sex; semi-public sex; hand job; fingering; making out; unprotected sex // wc: ~10.3k

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: little by little, people are starting to find out about your relationship with your beloved assistant, Jay. as much as you want to keep it hidden, your boyfriend wants the opposite. pressure from your family doesn't seem to make things easier either.

author’s note: this is part 4 of the secretary!Jay series, make sure you have read all the parts above (there are references to previous parts). I had to end this one this way because, well, we needed spice.

the title for this part is from a song by Ventino. it means "come with me".

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @jaylaxies @aminatalks @hee-pster @thots4hee (send an ask if you want to be tagged!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what you did

A kiss and you drove me crazy

Oh, come, I ask you

I want you with me

You check your reflection in the hand mirror you were holding, making sure that your lashes were on fleek, your lip tint was the perfect shade of red, and your overall appearance looking youthful but also alluring. Mr. Lee glanced at you from the rear-view mirror, smiling.

“Important date today, Miss?” He asked, eyes back on the road.

“What? Oh, no, I’m just meeting a friend.”

Mr. Lee noticed how casual you looked that Sunday, with a white tee underneath a cropped brown blazer paired with your favorite boyfriend jeans. Your hair was tied up in a high ponytail and on your feet were the Chanel slingbacks that Jay gave you. Your Benz pulled up at a new café you’ve never been too, and before you walked out you told Mr. Lee to go home for the day.

“If you’re going to go somewhere else, shouldn’t I be waiting for you?” He turned to face you before you were completely out of the car.

You smiled at him. “Go see your family, Mr. Lee. I put fruit baskets and some snacks in the trunk. Say hi to them for me.”

Mr. Lee smiled so wide and couldn’t express his gratitude fast enough. You shut the door to your car and waved at him from outside, turning around and entering the café without waiting for him to leave.

The dainty bell on the door made a noise when you opened it, and you can see the barista and the other staff noticing you and greeting you as you walked in. You smiled faintly at them as you scanned the area and found the two people you were looking for sitting in a corner. Scoffing, you rolled your eyes and walked over to order a drink.

“An iced vanilla latte to go, please,” you ordered, fishing for your card wallet in your bag.

“Would the pretty Miss like an extra shot with that?”

Your ears perked at the innocent compliment and as you found your wallet, you looked at the barista who had strikingly sharp features and a smile so contagious.

“Actually, that would be nice,” you smiled and then squinted your eyes to read his name. “Thank you, Mingi.”

After the cute barista asked for your name and paying for your drink, you hovered around the pick-up area, waiting for your drink to be made. Once your drink was ready, Mingi was the one who handed it over to you.

“Have a nice day, Miss,” Mingi smiled, his eyes disappearing. You said thank you with the sweetest voice ever before turning away.

Walking to the corner, you find the young woman in the seat facing you look at you. Her distraction caused the man in front of her to look behind him, his face showing utter shock as it registered that you were there.

“Hi,” you greeted the girl as you set your to-go drink on the table.

Jay eyed your drink and saw the message on the cup “To: Miss Y/N, an angel without wings”. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Sorry I just need to talk to my boyfriend for one second,” you said, noticing that the girl’s eyes start to widen in shock.

Jay smiled apologetically to her before taking his phone from the table and walking with you to stand several tables away. The girl he was with just quietly observed the two of you speak—your eyes looked so angry but your smile was so genuine, and you didn’t let Jay talk over you. When you were done talking and Jay was about to turn around, you tugged his jacket sleeve and pulled him into a slow kiss. The girl at his table immediately looked away.

Shamelessly walking back to his table with a slight red tint on his lips, Jay sat back in his seat.

“You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”

“Hyunseo, I’m sorry. This is totally my fault,” Jay cleared his throat before leaning in to explain everything in a lower voice. The whole time, Hyunseo had her eyebrows furrowed and the corner of her lips slowly turning downwards. After hearing Jay’s explanation and understanding what had happened, she sighed and leaned back, getting her bag and not bothering to finish her drink.

“I guess men will be men,” she muttered as she stood up. “Have a good day.”

Jay followed her movements with his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. He then made eye contact with the barista, Mingi, who he swore was judging him silently with his eyes.

Jay dialed your number and immediately asked you when you picked up.

“Where are you?”

You scoffed on the other side of the phone. “I’m not gonna tell you that.”

Before Jay could even say another word, you ended the call. Gripping his phone a little tighter, he went to your Instagram page to check your stories. He saw that you posted a picture by the river about five minutes ago, and without any attempt to confirm the location, he rushed to where you were.

---

You fixed the position of your sunglasses as you sipped the last drops of your iced vanilla latte. After you were sure you got everything, you stood up to put the cup in the recycling bin. You were about to turn around and walk when you found Jay standing right in front of you, his sweat trickling down his face.

“Fuck,” you muttered, out of shock. “Well, that took you long enough.”

Jay grabbed the empty cup from your hand for him to throw away. You started walking and he quickly caught up to you.

“I’m sorry,” Jay said, walking beside you.

“Yeah, I usually forgive easily but this time it’s just not it,” you spoke, keeping your eyes on your path. “You meet a girl somewhere, and she asks for your number and you give it to her because she might be a valuable network. She is, and she has a good job, but then she starts texting you so often that it is clear she has a crush, and then you agree to meet up with her after chatting for so long, without ever mentioning that you have a girlfriend?”

Jay put his hands in his pocket. “The topic never came up! I can’t just reply to her text and say I have a girlfriend.”

You stopped in your tracks and Jay hit the breaks on his legs for you. You took a deep breath and Jay started bracing himself.

“I can’t believe--” you started, cutting yourself off. “You know what, I’m not doing this here.”

Jay looked around and noticed the park along the riverside wasn’t even that crowded. “Why? What’s the matter?”

You were breathing heavily at this point, trying to control the mixture of anger and the urge to just kiss your boyfriend silent because of how dumb he was acting.

“I can write a 10k-word document explaining why and how to tell a girl that you’ve got a girlfriend. Men do this all the time! They lead us on and then get mad at us for getting mad at them when we find out they have a girlfriend?? And the excuse is always the same fucking thing: the girl didn’t ask. Oh, so we’re supposed to start every single potential date with a ‘do you have a fucking girlfriend?’. Are men aware that when we receive advances that we clearly do not want to reciprocate, we immediately say we have a boyfriend, even if we don’t, just to not lead him on?”

Jay blinked as he listened intently to your on-going ramble. When you stopped to catch your breath, he hesitated before asking a question. “But how do you say you have a girlfriend without making it sound weird?”

You looked into Jay’s eyes with an expression of disbelief. Jay gulped and you could see his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. You scoffed and laughed, almost like you were about to lose your mind. You then pretended to text and mimic Jay’s voice the best you can.

“Oh, sorry, Hyunseo, I have a date with my girlfriend that day, I can’t go. Oh, that’s a great café, Hyunseo, it’s my girlfriend’s favorite place. Hi, Hyunseo, do you have any suggestions on what I should gift my girlfriend?”

Jay was speechless, partly because of how uncanny your impression of him was and also because of how there really was a thousand ways to let someone know he had a girlfriend but he just wasn’t quick enough, or smart enough, to think about it.

“I can go on,” you huffed, brushing a stray of hair behind your ear.

“I understand,” Jay said. “I really wasn’t aware of this, nobody told me about this. Not even my flat mates.”

You chuckled. “Well, they’re men too so if anything, they might have been doing the same thing.”

Jay reached for your hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. You rolled your eyes and refused to look at him.

“Forgive me?” He asked, lips moving against your skin. “I will do everything you say.”

“You already do that. I’m your boss,” you snatched your hand away and started walking.

Jay pouted, catching up to you and placing a hand around your waist. “You’re my boss, and you’re also my girlfriend. You’re also the source of my wet dreams. You’re my queen, my--”

“Okay, shut up,” you wiggled away, trying not to laugh at your boyfriend’s desperate attempt to get you to forgive him. “I have the whole day and I told Mr. Lee not to pick me up.”

“I’m at your service, Miss,” Jay dramatically bowed like a butler. “What can I do for you?”

---

It had been a couple of days since you dragged Jay to the amusement park with you after the whole scene at the café. He didn’t expect you to go full on school girl mode—asking him to rent high school uniforms, which surprisingly you could still rock, and scream and run around the park like a child being there for the first time. Jay almost felt like he was your dad, trying to contain your excitement and keeping you from hurting yourself. He screamed louder than you when it came to riding the scary attractions, and the funny faces he made were captured perfectly in the photos you bought from the rides. He lost his voice for a day, to which the staff at the office were deeply concerned about. He lied and said he went to karaoke with his friends and sang too much.

You agreed to tag along to his weekly basketball session with his flat mates. When Jake saw you and Jay walking towards the court, he immediately rushed to you like an excited puppy. You returned the same energy and was just as excited to see him.

“Noonaaaaaa!” Jake called, his voice shaky as he came running. “Are you here to play too?”

“Now,” you leaned in to give Jake a quick side hug. “That wasn’t the deal.”

You looked at Jay and Jay shook his head. “She’s here to watch us.”

“Oh, good, you can be our referee,” Heeseung chimed in when you reached the bleachers.

“Yeah, I’m not familiar with the rules either,” you replied, scratching the back of your head awkwardly.

“Then can you take super cool candid pictures of us?” Sunghoon joined the conversation, looking somewhat hopeful.

Jay frowned, Jake giggled, and Heeseung just shook his head, embarrassed for his friend. You smiled widely and nodded.

“That, I can do.”

“Alright, let’s do this,” Jake stretched out his arms and started jogging in place. “Let’s put on a good show. Don’t embarrass our Noona.”

Your heart felt warm hearing the way Jake affectionately addressed you. The three of them jogged to the court and before Jay followed suit, he looked back at you and winked. You blew him kisses in return.

Since Sunghoon left his phone with you, you made sure to do his request. Standing up and moving around to get good angles, you snapped dozens of candid pictures of the boys, and you didn’t forget to record videos of them playing too. They were still going at it when you returned to your seat, checking your own phone. You started going through your emails and responding to unread texts from a couple of hours ago. Jay noticed how occupied you were just as they finished their game. Sunghoon and Jake continued to play while Heeseung and Jay walked towards you.

“Is there something I should be worried about?” Jay asked, assuming that you were on your phone because of work.

Heeseung sat beside you and grabbed a bottle of water, peeking at your phone.

“I’m just answering emails,” you scrolled to the top of your inbox before closing the app. “I need to interview a couple of candidates for my new driver.”

Jay’s eyebrows furrowed. “A new driver? What happened to Mr. Lee?”

“He’s fine, but I want him to take the weekends off,” you mindlessly scroll through your texts and then locked your phone. “I think I’m just gonna get a second driver for the weekends and if Mr. Lee can’t show up.”

Jay looked like he was thinking hard, partly a little unhappy because you never shared this thought with him. Ever since you officially started dating Jay, you wanted to lessen his workload by taking over the trivial stuff that you could do on your own.

“I can drive,” Heeseung claimed, breaking the silence.

You looked at him and he was grinning, sweat dripping from his hair and drenching the sleeveless white tee that he was wearing.

“You can?” you asked, unlocking your phone again, ready to ask for his number.

Heeseung nodded. “I don’t mind working on weekends, I could use the extra money. I could be your second Mr. Lee.”

You chuckled at the idea before you looked at Jay. He was shooting daggers at Heeseung with his eyes.

“What are you doing?” asked Jay, looking very serious but very cute and pouty at the same time.

Heeseung laughed softly but ignored Jay’s question, taking your phone as you shoved it into his hands. He typed in his number before giving it back to you and Jay moved to stand right in front of you.

“You’re not actually considering to hire him, are you?” Jay questioned you in genuine curiosity, his tone almost pushing you to answer immediately.

“I mean, he’s available. He’s your friend. I don’t see what’s the problem,” you saved Heeseung’s number and set your phone aside. “Do you?” You turned your head to ask Heeseung.

Heeseung shrugged. “I’m just happy to have a part-time job.”

“Forget it,” Jay almost cut Heeseung off. “I’ll drive you on the weekends myself.”

You rolled your eyes and Heeseung laughed, wiping the sweat off of his face with a towel. “Jay, what is this behavior?” You inquired, crossing your arms in front of you.

“I don’t want Heeseung driving you around!”

“Why not?!”

Jay realized he didn’t have a valid reason to oppose this proposition. He looked at Heeseung and Heeseung looked back at him, shaking his head to reassure him.

“If you’re so weirded out by the idea of your friend driving your boss around on the weekends, then I won’t do it,” Heeseung said in defeat. “Personally, I was just looking forward to driving a Benz.”

You pouted and unlocked your phone again, going through the list of candidates once more. Jay instantly felt bad and huffed, sitting down on your other side, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Fine, you can hire Heeseung,” he said, as if the decision was ever his to make. “But only after I interview the other candidates, and if there’s no one good enough.”

“So I’m the last resort?” Heeseung asked Jay, pointing to himself.

“Take it as a compliment,” Jay glared at Heeseung one more time. You snorted, patting Jay’s cheek with one hand while Heeseung just chuckled watching your antics.

“Woah, Noona,” Sunghoon’s voice caught the attention of the three of you. “These pictures are great. Thanks!”

The way Sunghoon was genuinely impressed by the shots you took made you happy. “You’re welcome,” you replied, smiling.

“Let me see,” Jake pushed himself into Sunghoon’s bubble, scrolling the phone while it was still in Sunghoon’s hand. Heeseung also peeked and nodded in approval.

“Your friends are so nice and welcoming,” you shrugged your shoulder, making Jay sit up properly and stop leaning on you.

“Can you blame them? It’s because you are, too,” Jay claimed, stretching his arms and yawning. “I just hope they don’t get too smitten.”

Chuckling, you look up at him who was already standing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jay made sure that his friends were still occupied and distracted with the pictures on Sunghoon’s phone before he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

“I want you all for myself.”

---

The sound of your fingers clacking on the keyboard filled your office. You fixed your glasses that was steadily sliding down your nose before you checked the time on your watch and let out a heavy sigh. Just as you were about to resume typing, there was knock on the door.

“Come in,” you raised your voice, not stopping to see who it was.

“Boss,” Jay let himself in and walked towards your desk. “Did you eat?”

You shook your head and kept your eyes on your screen and your hands moving to type.

“It’s 3.30pm.”

You nodded. “I’m aware. I have a watch,” you raised your left hand and twisted your wrist to stretch a bit before you went back to typing.

“What’s so important that you can’t stop to eat?” Jay sounded so concerned but you just scoffed.

“I can’t stop writing this, otherwise I would lose my flow and it will take me ages to get in the mood to finish it,” you blew a strand of hair off of your face.

“Can I at least get you a sandwich?” Jay offered, already holding his phone to order you food.

You shook your head. “I’m not taking my hands off of my computer.”

“Sushi then,” Jay started browsing on his phone.

You tutted and Jay looked up at you. He became frustrated and laid his phone down on your desk.

“You need to eat.”

“You need to chill,” you retorted, trying not to let him distract you. “The only way I can eat if there was a robot spoon-feeding me while I type.”

With that, Jay clicked his tongue and grabbed his phone. He stormed away from your office and you weren’t sure if you offended him or if he was just overly concerned about your health. You shook it off and decided to continue to work.

About half an hour later, after grabbing yourself a glass of iced water, you heard another knock on the door. But before you could tell them to come in, Jay rushed inside with a paper bag in his hand, setting it on your desk.

You sighed. “I told you I’m not--”

“I will feed you,” Jay cut you off, busy unboxing the meal he ordered for you. “Just keep typing.”

You literally had no time to feel touched and you didn’t want to argue more, so you just obliged as he started feeding you. Luckily, he did order sushi, so it was easy for you to take a bite without making a mess. You started eating and he was just there standing beside you, ready to feed you your next bite.

“Chew,” he ordered when he noticed you stuffing your food on your right cheek like a little hamster. You chewed for a few seconds before swallowing. Jay was ready to feed you another bite when he noticed Keeho peeking from your door that was already half open.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Keeho?” You noticed him from the corner of your eyes.

Keeho cleared his throat as he made your way towards you, looking at you and Jay with an amused look. “What am I looking at?”

“She’s busy and she refuses to eat, so I’m shoving food down her throat,” Jay answered calmly, but somehow sounding hostile.

Keeho frowned. “You really are one dedicated assistant.”

You snorted and then took a break from typing, cracking your knuckles. “What is it?”

“Oh, I just need a couple of signatures, for this hard copy,” Keeho gave you a folder and took the pen from his pocket. “Hwiyoung let me in, by the way.”

You nodded and scanned the documents really quickly, with Jay standing beside you and scanning the documents as well. With every file you read, Jay reads it too, and it had saved you from making a lot of mistakes. When you were about to sign it, though, Jay quickly took the pen out of your hand and replaced it with your signature pen from your desk, one you had always been using.

Keeho just stood there, amazed at how in sync the two of you were. He took the folder back from you, as well as his pen, and then excused himself. You went back to work and refused Jay’s offer of another bite.

“I’m full,” you claimed.

Jay looked at the box of sushi and saw that you had ate only half of it. He didn’t want to distract you further, so he just sighed and cleared your desk. He wanted to wait until you finished, but with Hwiyoung manning his desk right outside your office, Jay wondered if he would start asking questions.

“I’ll send Hwiyoung off if you’re working late,” Jay stated. “And when you’re done, tell me so I can call Mr. Lee.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” you responded, voice trailing off as you started focusing on the words on your screen.

Jay blinked at the way you just affectionately addressed him. He then smiled to himself before he walked away, leaving you to work alone in peace.

---

You thought getting home late would mean that the traffic would not be that bad, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Jay insisted on accompanying you home, out of fear that you would skip a meal again, so he was beside you in the backseat of your car, looking out the window with tired eyes.

Mr. Lee was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel while looking at you once in a while through the rearview mirror. He knew you weren’t the biggest fan of traffic jams, and he knew how exhausted you were the moment you entered the car, so the only thing on his mind is to get you home as soon as possible.

After yawning several times, you finally gave in and let yourself sleep, knowing that you won’t reach home for at least another hour. Jay saw you resting your head on the window, and he was aware that it wasn’t a comfortable position for you. He scooted to the middle seat and carefully made you lean on his shoulder. He then brushed the hair off of your face and tucked a strand behind your ear. You instinctively snuggled into him and started hugging his arm like a pillow.

“Is she sleeping comfortably, Park?” Mr. Lee looked at Jay through the rearview mirror.

Jay looked up at him and nodded. He wasn’t sure what Mr. Lee would think of this gesture, but at this point his opinion did not matter. Your comfort was Jay’s top priority.

“Miss L/N is a great soul,” Mr. Lee cleared his throat, shifting the gears as the cars in front started to move. “It would be nice if you could take care of her.”

Jay was speechless for a moment. He looked back to all the instances Mr. Lee might have found out about your relationship and realized that maybe he wasn’t being subtle enough even though you were always the most careful. He smiled at Mr. Lee through the mirror, giving him a reassuring nod.

“I will,” Jay spoke softly. “I promise I will.”

“Because if you don’t,” Mr. Lee took a right turn before looking back at Jay. “You’re the first person I will look for if she gets hurt.”

Mr. Lee’s slightly threatening tone almost sent a chill down Jay’s spine, but he was more comforted knowing that your driver thought of you highly. Mr. Lee was probably the only man you trusted the most before Jay walked into your life, and Jay was just glad he could be another addition to the group of people who absolutely adored you.

---

You took one more look at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and smacking your lips together before grabbing your purse and heading to the front door. Tonight was the benefit for your friend’s magazine company and he had invited every single person he knew, including you, since he was your mentor back when you were in college. You were supposed to meet Jay, Keeho, and Yeji at the venue, which was a fancy hotel ballroom located in the heart of the city.

When you opened your front door to step out, your heart almost fell to your stomach. Jay was just as surprised as you see him retract his hand, guessing that he was initially about to let himself in.

“I thought I was supposed to meet you there,” you exhaled, a hand over your chest as you were still recovering from the shock.

“Mr. Lee can’t make it tonight, and I’m not letting you ride with the new driver alone,” Jay led you to the elevators, pressing the button as you both reached there.

“Oh,” you turned to face him, looking excited. “You picked a guy?”

Jay pouted, stepping aside to let you enter the elevator first before joining you inside. “Yeah, you’ll see.”

The elevator ride down was filled with comfortable silence with you watching the numbers go down and Jay looking at you through your reflection on the doors.

“You look beautiful,” Jay said, not taking his eyes off of your reflection. “As always.”

You can feel your cheeks reddening as you smile. Getting compliments from Jay was a regular thing at this point, but it never fails to make you blush. You mentally gave yourself a pat in the back for choosing a long-sleeved backless dress that perfectly framed your figure.

As you stepped out of the elevator, Jay had one hand on the small of your back and he did not let go until you both reached the lobby. Outside, you found your Benz already waiting with your new driver leaning on the door, smiling at you.

“Evening, Miss,” Heeseung bowed slightly and Jay rolled his eyes at him.

You smiled back and greeted Heeseung before turning back to look at Jay. “So you picked him?”

Jay sighed. “He really was the best option.”

Heeseung straightened his collar and stood up proud, beaming at you. You pat him on the shoulder and let him open the door for you.

“You don’t need me to open your door, do you?” Heeseung asked Jay as he made his way to the other side.

Jay squinted his eyes in annoyance. “Just shut up and drive.”

The car ride to the benefit was unlike any other ride you’ve been in before. Jay and Heeseung wouldn��t stop bickering, and every time Jay raised his voice in an attempt to defend himself from whatever Heeseung was accusing him, you couldn’t help but laugh. You arrived right on time at the venue, and you stepped out of the car to see Keeho and Yeji already waiting for you by the entrance.

“Ugh, you look amazing, Miss,” Keeho said, sounding annoyed but really just completely in awe.

“You took my suggestion!” Yeji chimed in, happily linking her arms with yours and complimenting the dress you were wearing, which was rented from a site that she recommended to you.

You walked inside with your arms linked with Yeji because you found it adorable, while Keeho and Jay followed you from behind.

“I’ve never seen her dressed up like this,” Keeho commented, leaning in to Jay. “She looks bomb.”

“Calm down, that’s our boss,” Jay almost barked in reply.

“I was just… Do you really not think she’s hot?” Keeho said in a defensive tone, eyeing Jay and then eyeing your back.

Jay just shot a death glare at Keeho as a response. Keeho sighed and straightened up his posture. “Alright, sorry, geez.”

The ballroom was decorated in a way that was simple but also elegant. The interior design of the hotel was already classic, so the flowers and extra lighting that adorned the walls served as an enhanced visual experience. Yeji let go of your arm as soon as she noticed the man approaching you, and she stepped back to let you greet him.

“Minhyuk,” you leaned into his warm embrace.

“Y/N,” he greeted you softly and planted a chaste kiss on your cheek. His hands hovered on your back. “Glad you could make it.”

You spent a moment catching up with Minhyuk and reminiscing your old college days. You introduced your team to him, and Jay had an unusually stern face as he shook Minhyuk’s hand. You asked your team to walk around and mingle, but Jay refused to leave your side, and he decided to be just a couple of steps away from you, watching your every move.

He was watching Minhyuk’s every move, too. Jay didn’t like the way Minhyuk was leaning in way too close to talk to you. He didn’t like the way Minhyuk laughed a little too hard at your remarks. He didn’t like the way you touched his arm once in a while in the middle of the conversation. He didn’t like how gorgeous you looked tonight and how many men were just hovering around you.

Then Jay remembered the camping trip you took with the company. The way you got sulky and upset when he was just talking to the other staff, and how needy you got when he confronted you in your tent. He then realized that jealousy works both ways. He wasn’t going to let it show, though.

To distract himself, he decided to leave you and look for Keeho and Yeji. He found the two of them standing by the bar, seemingly arguing about something.

“What seems to be the problem here?” Jay asked, inserting himself in the conversation.

“Park, you need to tell Yeji that she needs to dance with me,” Keeho stated, nudging Jay’s elbow.

Jay chuckled while Yeji looked away, scanning the room.

“Yeah, keep looking, you won’t find a better partner than me, you know,” Keeho teasingly made a face at Yeji and she just frowned.

“There’s dancing?” Jay furrowed his eyebrows, checking his phone to read the rundown of the night’s event. “Oh, yeah, there is.”

Keeho took a sip of his drink, tilting his face towards your direction. “What a sight it would be if we see those two dancing, right? That dude’s bicep is the size of my head. And our boss looks so dainty next to him. It’s like something out of a Disney movie.”

Jay was fuming inside at this point and he was wracking his brain to find a way to not let you dance with the dreamy Disney prince Lee Minhyuk. Great, another Lee, he thought. He then downed his drink in one go and gently placed the empty glass on the bar.

“Yeji, if you don’t want to dance with Keeho, you don’t have to. But the poor guy needs a win tonight, and only you can give him that,” Jay looked at Yeji and winked at her before swiftly making his way towards you.

The dance was about to start and Jay was now worried sick that he would lose you to someone else. To his surprise, though, you gently refused Minhyuk’s invitation to dance, redirecting him to another woman who seemed like she could become a better partner for him.

Minhyuk chuckled as he took the lady’s hand. “We’re not done talking, alright?” He said, waving at you as he walked to the dancefloor.

You stood there as you watched couples flocking in to the center. You even saw Yeji with Keeho, and you beamed at them, waving and winking towards their direction. Jay secured his place beside you, snaking an arm around your waist.

Almost jumping from the sudden contact, you looked to your right and saw Jay observing the dance. His hand was resting comfortably on your waist, fingers caressing your side, and for some reason, you did not want him to take his hand off of you.

“Did you date him?” Jay asked, not turning to look at you.

You scoffed. “No, he was a very nice senior who became my mentor and helped me excel academically.”

“Nothing sexually?” He said in a lower voice.

You gasped audibly and covered your mouth. “Jay!” You shoved Jay away from you and he almost lost his balance, eyes disappearing because he was chuckling. Apparently he thought it was amusing.

The first dance ended and you saw Keeho grinning at Yeji, who was now won over because of how well he danced. They went back to sit by the bar as the other couples left too, and new ones start to flock as a different song started playing.

“We can’t leave without dancing, can we?” Jay took your hand carefully and led you to the center.

“Jay, stop,” you said in a panic. “I can’t dance.”

“Well, I can,” he placed your hand on his shoulder and rested his hand on your waist, taking your places on the dancefloor. “And you can just follow me.”

Realizing it was too late to refuse, you gave in and let Jay guide you through the moves. You would accidentally step on his foot and wince in his place, while he would just smile at you affectionately, reassuring you that it was okay.

From a distance, Yeji was elbowing Keeho in the ribs. “Oh my God, look! They’re so cute!”

Keeho squinted his eyes to look better and gasped when he saw you dancing with Jay. “Is that Park? Oh my God, it’s Park.”

The two of them looked at you and Jay in full adoration, gasping and aweing every time Jay twirled you around and caught you in his arms. When the music was about to stop, Jay leaned forward to dip you, and his face was dangerously close to your chest. He gently brushed his lips over the area between your neck and your breasts, and you closed your eyes as you let him pull you back up into an embrace.

Yeji had both hands covering her lips while Keeho’s mouth was agape. “Did you see that?” Keeho asked Yeji. She nodded.

The room was then filled with the sound of applause. Flushed, you looked down, walking away from the dancefloor. Jay trailed behind you, making sure you were okay. You found your way back to Keeho and Yeji and they were just staring at you awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

“The benefit ends soon, and if you want to leave first, you can,” you fixed a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll see you both Monday?”

Keeho nodded and Yeji held up an okay sign, smiling at you. You then excused yourself as you wanted to make sure you weren’t a blushing mess. With your purse in your hands, you walked in a hurry towards the corner that leads to the restrooms.

Seeing you head over to the ladies’ room, Jay grabbed your hand and led you outside, heading towards the empty corridor.

“Jay,” you called. By now you were used to him dragging you places for no reason. “What now?”

Jay looked around before answering you. “We need to find a quieter place.”

You both reached another restroom that was located outside of the ballroom and down a long hallway. He knocked on the ladies’ door once before pushing it open and bringing you inside with him, locking the door behind you.

“Jay--”

Your lips were sealed shut by his own, his hands traveling around your sides before settling on your back, pushing you closer to his body. The movements on his lips were sloppy, and he was kissing you hungrily, sucking on your tongue and biting on your lower lip whenever he could. You moaned into his mouth as you feel his hard-on against you, and you rested your hands flat against his chest.

He pulled one sleeve of your dress down, exposing your tit, and he latched his mouth onto it lustfully. You gasped and grabbed a fistful of his hair, overwhelmed at the sensation and at the same time, wanting him to never stop. He kissed you in the middle of your chest, making his way up to your collarbones and your neck, gently sucking on your skin before his eyes met yours again.

“I’m sorry,” he panted, eyes dark with desire. “I need to have you now.”

“Jay,” you sighed, bringing a hand up to his face to caress him. “We can’t do it here.”

“I’ll be quick, I promise,” Jay kissed you on your cheek and you closed your eyes. “You don’t have to do a thing,” he added.

He made you stand with your back against the bathroom wall before he kneeled in front of you. Bunching up your dress to your waist, he removed your panties and leaned in closer, hooking your leg over his shoulder.

“Oh, Jay,” you whined as you realized what he was doing. He looked up at you with innocent eyes, licking his lips as he prepared to dive into you.

He kissed your clit in the gentlest way possible and you sighed into his touch. Your right leg was placed securely over his shoulder and he held you up with one hand on your waist. As he continued to eat you out, he fumbled with his pants using his free hand, taking his dick out to stroke himself.

The sounds he was making with his tongue and lips against your cunt, combined with the wet, lewd noises from his hand around his cock made you roll your eyes back. You rested your head against the wall as you moaned, gasped, and breathlessly called out his name. He was determined to make you cum as fast as he could, and he could tell he was doing a great job by how hard you were tugging on his hair, making him groan right into your heat.

He noticed you squirming a lot more than usual, so he picked up the pace of his tongue, running it around your labia and moving in and out of you. You gasped once again and with one pull of his hair, you came in his mouth, sweat forming on your forehead and your lips only mouthing the only word you knew at that moment—his name.

Jay made sure to lick you dry and clean before he stood up, still stroking himself. You noticed he needed help to finish, so you pulled him by his neck and kissed him feverishly, desperately finding remnants of yourself for you to taste. You reached down to take over, running your hands up and down his cock until it twitched and he finally came in your hands.

He had one hand on the wall, propping himself up. You tilted his chin upwards with your clean finger, kissing him on the cheek before you pecked his lips. He smiled at you, trying to catch his breath as he rubbed his other hand on your waist.

“Was that quick enough?” Jay asked, looking at you worried. You were now washing your hands in the sink and checking your reflection.

You nodded as you dried your hands and walked back to him. He got dressed and looked presentable in an instant and you admired him for that.

“Too quick,” you stated, fixing his tie. You saw his signature cocky smile start to form on his lips.

“Should we go home and continue?” He asked, speaking right into your ear before kissing your cheek. You responded with a nod and melted into his embrace.

---

Tapping your fingers on your phone, you stared at the text message your mother sent you an hour ago. She claimed that she’s visiting town with your father, and they were about to pay you a visit. It’s been a while since you’ve seen your parents, and the last time you saw them it wasn’t exactly the most pleasant family reunion ever.

Your brother brought his husband with him at that time, and although your father initially disapproved their relationship, he softened the moment he saw how your brother’s eyes sparkled whenever he looked at his husband. Your mother was also gushing over her son-in-law, even going as far as to jokingly claim that he was a better son than her own.

The topic of the conversation then shifted to you. Your brother was only three years older than you, but the moment he got hitched, your mother started pushing you to follow suit. Your father, knowing that it had been a while since you’ve taken over the company, said to leave you be. It was all out of love, though, you convinced yourself, yet when you left your parents’ house you couldn’t help but feel some sort of burden.

Maybe because your brother and his husband decided to be child-free, the hopes of having grandchildren fell to you. You weren’t a fan of the idea, so you kept pushing back the concept of marriage and having kids by using your job as an excuse. That was probably why you dreaded meeting your parents today, afraid that they will bring up the same topic and ruin your whole weekend.

You checked your reflection in your office’s bathroom mirror before heading out. When you walked out your door, Hwiyoung and Jay both looked up from their respective desks, both surprised that you walked out without calling them or telling them anything.

“Is there anything you need, Miss?” Hwiyoung stood up, brushing his hair back and straightening his collar.

“My parents are coming over and I’m greeting them at the lobby,” you answered quickly before rushing out.

Jay sprinted to follow you, while Hwiyoung calmly walked out and checked on your other staff, making sure everything was neat and none of them were doing anything funny. You pressed the elevator button and the one right in front of you opened right away. You walked inside and as the doors were about to close, Jay held it open, letting himself in.

“You alright?” He asked, looking at your uneasy face.

You responded with a nod without looking at him, and in an instant you were taken to the ground floor. You walked towards the entrance, the heels of your boots making clacking sounds against the marble floor, and Jay kept his distance as he walked behind you.

A black Benz pulled up as soon as you reached the building’s entrance, and your mother came out of the car, smiling sweetly at you before walking to you for a hug. Your father appeared from the other side looking neat as ever, closing the door as he walked to you too. You leaned in to get a side hug from him and he patted your shoulders awkwardly.

“Did you get stuck in traffic?” You asked your mother as you took her bag so you could carry it for her.

“It was nothing I can’t handle,” she affectionately caressed your cheek. Then she looked at Jay, who was just staring at you the whole time. “And who is this?”

Jay glanced at you and you nodded. He bowed politely to both your parents before standing up straight again.

“Park, one of my assistants,” you claimed, beginning to walk to lead your parents inside. “Dad, you remember Park, right?”

Your father eyed Jay and Jay’s breath hitched. He then noticed how much you resembled your father, and it suddenly made even more sense how the company was passed down to you.

“Right, the one who replaced Hyorin,” your dad smiled faintly to him before leaning in to you, whispering. “I thought you fired him. Didn’t he use to mess up everything?”

Your eyes widened and Jay was just looking at you, oblivious. “Let’s go up, I bet you miss your office,” you said, steering the topic away from Jay.

On the elevator ride back up, your mother took notice of your outfit. You were wearing patent leather boots that reached just under your knees, paired with a grey skirt that went down to your calves but had a huge slit in the middle. For your top, you wore a black cropped blazer to match your black boots, and you were only wearing a tank top underneath.

“Do you normally go to work dressed like this?” Your mother chirped. “I feel like this is a very Seoul Fashion Week look and not corporate boss.”

You sighed and pouted as you turned to look at your mother. Jay, standing behind you, smiled as he looked down.

The rest of the visit went on smooth. Your staff behaved well and greeted your parents politely before they resumed their work. Jay and Hwiyoung were on standby at their desks while you talked with your parents in your office. An hour went by and it was time for your parents to go, and even though you insisted on walking them back down, they told you to just stay put and get your work done.

“At least let Hwiyoung walk you down, okay?” You pulled your office door open and signaled for Hwiyoung to come. After sending him off with your parents, you leaned on your doorway, head looking up.

Jay stood from his desk to approach you. “Anything I can do?”

You looked at him and smiled weakly, shaking your head. You went back inside and he trailed you, closing your door behind him. You went straight to the bathroom, and initially Jay was going to get you a glass of water, but he decided to follow you instead.

“Must you keep following me,” you sighed when he entered the bathroom after you. “My love?”

Jay smiled and immediately snaked his arms around your waist, pulling you into his embrace. You melted in his arms, letting your hands lock themselves around his neck. He leaned to kiss the side of your head and you chuckled.

“Do you want to talk?” He asked as he stared into your eyes, waiting for a response.

You moved your head to the side to kiss his jawline. His eyes fluttered shut at the action. You kissed the mark on his neck and he tightened his grip around your waist.

“Y/N,” Jay was speaking in a much lower voice. You noticed that he would normally do so whenever you initiate contact.

“I want to talk but not now,” you answered, pulling back to look him in the eyes again. “I need stress relief now.”

You started kissing Jay’s lips, leaning to rest your weight on him and making him lose his balance. Jay reciprocated your kiss while he kept his hands busy by massaging your sides. You moaned at his touch and brought one hand to cup his face, holding him still as you continue to devour his mouth.

“I need your hands,” you whispered into his lips. “I need your fingers inside me,” you continued as you tried to catch your breath. “Please?”

“Of course,” Jay pecked your lips and then your cheek. “My queen.”

You gasped when Jay easily touched your folds through the huge slit in your skirt. He then pulled your panties to the side, making sure it did not get in his way. He started stroking your folds and you closed your eyes, completely indulging yourself in the bliss. He kept his eyes on your face, observing the expressions you make whenever he tried to move his fingers differently. You were getting wetter, and you started hearing the familiar lewd noises echoing in the small bathroom.

“In me,” you whined. “Now.”

Jay kissed your lips as he inserted two fingers at once, and he instructed you to put one leg up the sink as he held you still, grabbing your ass with his other hand. He started moving his fingers in and out of you with ease, and with intense speed. You were biting down on your lip, trying to hold in the moans, and when Jay noticed this he immediately started kissing you, letting you release your moans into his mouth. It didn’t take long for you to reach your high, feeling his one hand grope your ass harder and squeezing it as you came on his fingers, even squirting all over the place. Jay looked to the floor and calmly pumped your wetness back inside of you before helping you stand back up straight. He licked your juices clean from his fingers and checked your skirt for possible stains.

“How are you so calm?” You asked out of wonder, observing how he was turning you around, smoothing your skirt down and checking your reflection in the mirror.

“Oh, believe me,” Jay took your hand and pressed in on his chest. “My heart is racing.”

You smiled and tilted your head to kiss him on the lips. “Thank you. I owe you.”

Jay shook his head before kissing you in return. “You don’t owe me anything. I’m happy to serve you.”

---

To say that the conversation you had with your parents haunted you would be an understatement. You found yourself overthinking things more than you usually would even though you have mastered the art of controlling your mind. You started to think that maybe it was the way your parents talked to you—stern but also gentle, putting in a lot more weight in their requests, consequently burdening you even more.

You know that turning to work and busying yourself to distract you from personal matters was the most toxic thing one can do for themselves, but at this point you really could not find a better way to cope. You started picking up on new projects, adding on a little more workload to your assistants as well as your staff. They did not ask much, thankfully, and they were happy to team up and do their best work for you.

Jay started staying over at your place more often too. Any unfinished work from the office, you would bring back home, and he was always ready to read for you, write for you, or even just keep you company as you do your own thing. He became quicker at gauging your emotions, and whenever you were stressed he would offer a million ways to help you relieve yourself—your favorite choice being sex.

Some days you thought about how in your relationship with Jay, you seem the one to be taking a lot while he gives everything to you. You wonder if the power dynamic at work had dragged into your personal relationship, and you couldn’t figure out if it was okay or a problem. Then you were reminded about your parents’, mostly your mother’s, request of getting hitched to someone.

You look over to your side and found Jay sleeping peacefully next to you. The night before had been slow, you were just winding down watching movies on Netflix and cuddling. You went to bed earlier than him because he insisted to check on more work for you, and although you needed the sleep you felt horrible because it was like you were burdening him again.

Carefully and as quiet as you could manage, you moved closer to him and place your arm above his chest. His breathing was gentle, and slowly you began to see the sunrise peek through your curtains. The yellow tint shone on his eyes, and he squinted before he stirred awake. He noticed your arm and looked to you, blinking softly and smiling before he leaned to kiss you. His lips were slightly chapped and his breath was hot, but you wanted to taste him more.

You moved closer and he rested his hand on your waist. “Morning, Boss,” he croaked. His eyes were closed again and he had this stupid grin, your favorite kind, plastered on his face.

You playfully slapped him on his cheek and he nuzzled into your touch, pulling you closer so he could kiss you again. He opened his mouth and you started wrestling with his tongue, moaning each time both your lips make a smacking sound. His hand on your waist traveled down to your thigh, pulling your leg up so you can rest it on his waist. You kissed him deeper, trying your best to show him how needy you were. His same hand then grazed your ass before pulling your panties to the side, fingers sliding in between your folds without a warning. You moaned in his mouth and quickly run your hands down his abs until your reached his boxers, stroking his cock from the outside. Jay continued to fuck you with his hand, sighing as he feels your walls clenching around his two fingers.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he groaned. He leaned closer to gently nibble on your lower lip.

You whimpered and started grinding on him more, feeling your cunt dripping the more he touched you. Determined to make him feel the same amount of pleasure, you tugged his boxers down and pulled his cock out, massaging it with one hand slowly. He elicited a groan and you could feel him twitch in your palm. You then abruptly pulled his hand away from your core, making him open his eyes in wonder. You messily kiss his cheek before you propped yourself up, moving to straddle him. He winced as his hard cock came in contact with your folds, and you took matters into your own hand by aligning himself with you. You raised your hips slightly before you felt his tip grazing your entrance. You see him staring into your eyes with the darkest, most lustful sleepy gaze and as you let his cock sink into you, you both closed your eyes.

Gasping at the overwhelming feeling, you lie down flat on him, breasts pressed up against his chest. Jay brought both his hands to wrap around your waist, keeping you close. You started grinding on him, and he quickly matched your pace, thrusting into you with each move. You started kissing his lips again and it was like a switch was turned on inside you. You started grinding faster, your ass creating friction against his hips while your lips leave sloppy and messy kisses around his mouth and jaw. He embraced you tighter, ignoring the fact that you were both starting to sweat a lot from the intensity. Sounds of skin against skin and your wet lips battling each other filled your room, and you were starting to see stars.

“Jay,” you panted, opening your eyes to look at him. “I’m close.”

Jay took this sign to switch with you, and he gently maneuvered you to get under him without having to pull out of you. You whined when he got a little too distant to your liking, so when you lied back down on your back, he closed the distance and started kissing your neck, beginning to thrust into you again. His thumb was on your clit, doing ministrations that were sure to make you get off quick. When you did, you grasped his arms and moaned his name, eyes closed shut as you started to catch your breath.

“Pull out,” you whispered, and Jay hesitated for a second before doing as you said. You quickly help him finish by stroking his cock and letting him devour your mouth, neck, and breasts. He came hard on your stomach, ropes of white staining your sweaty skin.

Jay kissed your lips gently before moving away from you, lying down beside you for a couple of seconds before getting up to use the bathroom. As you waited for him to get out, you cleaned up after yourself, wiping your wet body using a towel and even making up the bed and doing the covers. When Jay was done, you were dressed already, wearing shorts and a cropped t-shirt.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Jay said after he put on his own shirt.

You sighed before walking out the bedroom to go get yourself your morning coffee. Jay followed you and sat on the stool by the kitchen counter, watching you as you move around the kitchen.

“It’s just family stuff,” you said, grabbing two mugs from the cabinet above your sink. “They want me to get married.”

Jay tensed up at the topic and he started to sit straight. “And?”

You set both mugs on the counter in front of him. “I don’t know if I even want to.”

Jay frowned as you began to retell the whole conversation with your parents. The idea of marriage was something you did not want to focus on, not for a very long time. And while Jay was aware that you were never fond of children, he did not think that you were even opposed to the idea of having your own.

“So what’s the plan?” He asked when you were done talking.

The two mugs you picked out were still empty because you were busy telling Jay everything, and he also was so intent on listening.

“I just want to see how it goes,” you answered, looking at him briefly before turning your back on him to actually make coffee.

“You’re not going to introduce me to your parents?”

“Our staff doesn’t even know yet.”

“And you don’t think that’s a problem?”

You turned back to look at Jay and found him looking at you in a way that was unfamiliar. His jaw was clenched and his stare was sharp, and from the way his voice was lowered, you could sense that there was anger.

“Why are you so obsessed with letting everyone know?” You asked back at him. “You do realize that I’m keeping our relationship a secret to protect you, right?”

Jay scoffed. “Protect me from what?”

“Jay, you don’t even know how reputation can be destroyed by just a single rumor. What if people start to think you fucked your way to the top? What if they think you got the job as an assistant for the very reason to just fuck your boss? They will discredit you and all the hard work you do once they find out what happens behind closed doors.”

Jay cocked his head and licked his lips. “Do you really think I’m concerned about what people think? I’m out here jumping through hoops to take care of you and I really just want to be able to do that freely.”

“Okay,�� you took a deep breath and rested your hands on the edge of the counter. “Let’s say we go public with our relationship. Then what? What difference would it make?”

“What do you see me as?” Jay answered your question by asking another one.

“What?”

“Answer me,” Jay clicked his tongue.

“You’re my assistant,” you answered. “And I love you.”

“I love you,” Jay paused before continuing. “But is that all I’m ever going to be? Your assistant who just loves you?”

You brushed your hair away from your face as you took a couple of steps away. “What were you expecting from this relationship?”

Jay found himself in silence because he, too, was not completely sure how to voice out his thoughts. He only knew that he loved you, and that he wanted to be by your side for as long as he could.

You got the wrong idea from his silence, though, and you scoffed before turning your back on him.

“If you’re really bothered by our relationship being hidden, then let’s not think much about it,” you started making noise on purpose, getting the coffee done and pouring it into the two mugs. “Or we could save ourselves the trouble and just end it.”

You cursed yourself the second those words leave your mouth. You did not mean it that way, and you were just saying what was on your mind without filtering it. You knew it came out wrong, and you knew Jay was going to take offense. So when he stood up from the stool and walked away to grab his stuff in your bedroom, you froze in your tracks.

“Jay,” you called out when he walked by, passing you in the kitchen and heading straight towards the entrance of your place.

“Jay,” you called him once again when you realized he wasn’t stopping, his hands already reaching for the knob.

“I know you work best when you’re alone, Y/N,” he said, one foot already out the front door. “I’m just gonna give you the time and space that you need. That we both need.”

And with that, the door closed. You weren’t sure if you should chase him or let him go, but what you knew was that your legs weren’t letting you move. When you finally managed to walk back to your kitchen, you grabbed one of the mugs filled with coffee, and without noticing that it was too hot, you flinched and flung it away from your grip, making the coffee spill and the mug shatter on the floor.

Immediately after the loud sound of glass breaking, you screamed. Wailing, you dropped to the floor and let the spilled coffee stain your bare legs.

-END-

SECRETARY!JAY will return…

read the next part: tusa

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