#or maybe even unintentionally

[ehlihr]

people will make a villain oc and then its like ok cool they murder BUT they have perfect political beliefs maintain perfect hygiene treat their friends and subordinates well and tips at restaurants and actually other than not liking the “heroes” is a moral pillar of greatness

#SOMETIMES THEY DONT EVEN KILL PEOPLE. LIKE?! #i dont care if you make or have a character like this but if theyre supposed to be bad. like commit to that right #like if theyre SUPPOSED to be bad #like if your character is like brooding like oogh what am i becoming #and its like #and they dont do anything bad or hurt people #even unintentionally #and i dont mean emotionally hurting a love interest friend whatever i mean like Causing Harm #theyre not becoming anything. thats just a guy who is not also a hero. maybe a vigilante or maybe they rob a bank but. be serious #then like idk dog. not a villain. C-. try again

[quirkle2]

i think wars and sky would be good friends

#qkdraws #suncaster au #suncaster warriors #suncaster lumen #the legend of zelda #legend of zelda #tloz #loz #loz au #zelda au #new sky design!!!!! hope he looks alright #i've been wanting to redesign sky so bad for so long . it's finally been done #i kinda took bits and pieces from both skyward sword npcs and botw rito npcs as inspo #hope it meshes well #i am also aware it's barely recognizable as sky and .yeah ur right VGIYEAV #maybe it's the wildly different outfit maybe it's the fact that i straight up can never make him Look Like Sky . we'll never know i guess #this isn't rly abt them both bein knights even it's just that i think him and sky would mesh well #sky laughs a lot at silly jokes n shit. he's warm and comforting and approachable and wars needs that #wars would make him laugh so much #and im a big fan actually of sky unintentionally dropping the funniest fucking jokes on the planet #and it catches wars off-guard sm bc often times they r blunt and quick and not what you'd expect sky to say #he's got a sassy side #sky and wars also have the whole Gentle and Warm Guy Who WILL Kill You if You Fuck with His Friends thing in common #they r both very nice and soft and smiley and it takes a lot to rile them up. but when they're riled up they are Scary #i also think that sky sometimes needs Order #like ?? sky is pretty put-together overall but sometimes he does lose sight of the big picture and gets overwhelmed #and wars is really really good at redirecting people back on track. he's rly good at Seeing when people need that #i just think they fit well . They Are Friends :]

[anxiously-sidequesting]

My Personal Shadow Magic Headcanons - "Shadow Sickness"

I'm so autistic and lazy so here's another weirdly-worded headcanons post from me at 4 AM (lmk if I need to tag this as anything specific btw

What I'm personally calling "Shadow Sickness" is the official, prolonged version of Backlash - adverse effects that target the practitioner even outside of the duel circle and in their everyday lives. While "Backlash" refers to the immediate and spontaneous barrage of attacks that takes place after a Shadow spell, "Shadow Sickness" is the gradual deterioration of the practitioner's mind, body, and soul. True to the name, this effect likens more to an illness, a virus; something that's alive and slowly takes over until there is nothing healthy left behind. The symptoms are emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual.

While regular Magic has life force within it, Shadow Magic is the only type of magic that can be considered "sentient". Not a thinking being with goals and plans, but something living and breathing with the most basic instincts. It's what's considered "Chaotic" and dangerous about it - the Wizard bends and controls regular Magic, but Shadow Magic can bend and control the Wizard. It is the only type of magic that can "fight back" in its own way.

This sentience is what allows for Shadow Sickness and Backlash to happen - these are purely just the results of it "fighting back". The Shadow Magic is reacting to the practitioner. It's acting by its nature by rearing its head back and snapping the hand that controls it. If the practitioner is NOT sound and secure in their mental, physical, and spiritual health, then Backlash and Shadow Sickness can cause even more adverse effects within the Wizard and as a result can suffer more severely.

Symptoms of Shadow Sickness

Symptoms of Shadow Sickness can vary between physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The "virus" affects every single aspect of the being, down to their very life. The severity of these symptoms can also vary depending on certain variables. Unlike a true virus, Shadow Sickness has no "incubation period" and can flare up at any time during which the Wizard is practicing Shadow Magic. These symptoms include:

Physical scarring (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) - one of the only symptoms that comprise of all four categories. Scars may appear on the Wizard's body that take various shapes and forms: most commonly taken after that individual's unsolved trauma. This includes old grudges, previous serious injuries that have not healed correctly, repressed memories, obsessions and delusions, etc. No two scars look the same (i.e. two different wizards who have a fear of spiders will have scars that look entirely different from the other). Depending on the severity these scars can cause physical discomfort (tingling, numbness, pain, leathery skin, decay/cellular deterioration) and can greatly impact how the Wizard looks to others to how the Wizard can move around.

Involuntary movements (physical, mental, spiritual) - the Wizard may begin suffering from accidental and spontaneous gestures and movement that is either randomized or triggered. This can include loss of coordination, disorientation, mini seizures, jerks and spasms, etc. Other than being physically affected, the Wizard is not suffering from any medical emergencies. The individual is fully conscious and aware when this happens and depending on the severity, can recover seconds after. This is one of the only symptoms where others could be harmed due to a wayward hand that comes flying out by accident. There is also a magical version of this, where involuntary spells or bursts of magic can be cast spontaneously (hence the 'spiritual' aspects of this symptom as mana comes from the soul). Usually these magical bursts are Shadow Magic and not the Wizard's primary or secondary Magic abilities. (Another involuntary trait recorded is the Wizard suddenly switching to an ancient "Shadow Language" in mid-speech.)

Hallucinations (physical, mental) - the Wizard may begin to experience things that cannot be detected by any other individual. Usually these hallucinations start out as smells or taste first, but there are reports of the Wizard hearing, sensing, and even seeing things to start out with. Contrary to popular belief not all hallucinations are violent or even turn out to be that way, some reports even describe them as pleasant. Hallucinations vary from each Wizard even with those who share the same traumas or fears. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, the Wizard can either be fully aware or completely immersed within them. Since these are only hallucinations they cannot harm the Wizard but can cause further deterioration to the mind.

Depleted energy/"Mana Loss" (physical, spiritual) - as the Shadow Sickness takes hold, eventually the Wizard will be slowly sapped of strength and magical energy. THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM IF THE WIZARD IS SKILLED IN SHADOW MAGIC. A Wizard can practice Shadow Magic and still NOT be affected by this. Since Shadow Magic "takes", Shadow Sickness does the same and gradually depletes the Wizard's energy. Like how Backlash takes health in a duel, Shadow Sickness takes your life. This is the only symptom that is constant in all cases of Shadow Sickness. Not only will the ability to cast spells be taken away, but overall physical health will suffer as well and the individual is more susceptible to regular diseases due to a compromised immune system. This symptom only appears in the very last stages of Shadow Sickness and is the last symptom of the individual experiences in their lifetime.

Tulpas (emotional, mental, spiritual) - contrasting hallucinations, Tulpas are the Wizard's visions made real. A Tulpa (from Shadow Sickness) is a physical and magical manifestation of the Wizard suffering from the Shadow "virus". Although it is born from the subconscious of another being, it is a separate entity all its own and has the ability to make decisions and have feelings and desires. However, these feelings and desires are not really of their own and reflect the Wizard's subconscious fears and threat responses. (i.e. our Azteca Tulpa in Khrysalis that formed due to unresolved survivor's guilt. Its "goal" was to destroy us and fully consume us within itself, similar to how guilt behaves in reality). Tulpas can either be created from visions, nightmares, intense and obsessive thoughts, or even previous hallucinations.

Can Shadow Sickness be reversed, or cured?

Shadow Sickness can be reversed, yes, or more commonly halted. Unless the Wizard is fully submersed in their mental and spiritual anguish ((Malistaire even though he wasn't using shadow magic; Morganthe even though that wasn't what killed her)) Shadow Sickness can be stopped. The road to recovery varies wildly from each person so there is no set "recovery time" in which you are expected to be fully healed. It is your own journey and it is ultimately your say whether or not you are better. Clinically, recovery can be sorted between these categories

HALTED: In which the Shadow Sickness is no longer infecting the individual but the symptoms may still persist. These symptoms do not get worse or better, but the Wizard's mind is clear and their soul is at peace. Wizards may either learn to live comfortably and adapt with their Halted condition or could continue to strive for partial or full recovery.

PARTIAL RECOVERY: In which the Shadow Sickness is reversed slightly or moderately. The effects are not all the way gone but are measured to be better than when the Wizard was still infected. In this state any severe symptoms the Wizard is experiencing are now moderate or slight, or less frequent. Just like in the Halted category, the Wizard is sound of mind, body, and soul.

FULL RECOVERY: In which Shadow Sickness is totally reversed and there are no more symptoms that persist. Full, 100% recovery is actually quite rare in the Spiral and a lot of scholars consider the Full Recovery to count as "70% or more reduced" - meaning the symptoms are very slight and few and far in between. Technically this is still a Partial Recovery but due to the above fact and how difficult it is to reverse Shadow Sickness, 'Full Recovery' is an umbrella term. Some individuals even claim Full Recovery even if their symptoms are moderate, because their mind and soul are no longer diseased.

ONE LAST FACT TO LEAVE OFF WITH: Not every Wizard who practices Shadow Magic suffers from Shadow Sickness, and alternatively even the most skilled Shadowmage can develop Shadow Sickness.

okay this took days. bye hope you liked this

#btw tagging some of these symptoms jic theyre triggering to some #tw seizures #tw hallucinations #lmk if i need to tag anything else #BUT YEAH THIS IS IT #i got lazy at the end but i def wanna expand on this #a few things i wanna talk about more in depth: the 'shadow language' thing and the 'mana comes from the soul' thing #BUT THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO MAKE #giving holly even MORE trauma #due to canon reasons and because i love suffering holly isnt even in the “halted” category #theyre still suffering from ongoing shadow sickness. its progressing a hell of a lot slower than others but shes def feeling it #due to ambrose's thinky veiled threat of always being watched and everyone else unintentionally- #-brushing aside holly's health the shadow sickness remains undetected #except for velma. she sees that shit #but since holly is the master of bottling things up theyre like “ahaha what virus” (throws up black blood) #holly has the scarring as the worst symptom and has a few specific scars i wanna talk about in another post #but they also suffer from hallucinations and the shadow language thing #since holly is unintentionally holding off the worst of the Sickness she doesnt have the mana depletion yet #i think i forgot like maybe one or two symptoms but im so tired ugh. this is all yall are getting for now LMAO #idk if this is even a good post. im proud of it #one symptom i forgot to mention is madness. or i think thats the end result same as depletion #its what morganthe suffered dueing the end of her life as a giant apider creature she just fully succumbed to the madness #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts

[grey-has-rusted]

what they don't tell you about life is that it's hard. woe is me

#ramblings #yes. i logged onto tumblr just to complain. #i have not been having a good time irl </3 #guys am i cooked? i wake up everyday with a heavy sorrow in my heart. #i am sad all the time even though i enjoy the wonders of life. #i laugh and smile and talk and learn. but im still sad. #it also doesn't help that i have psychotic tendencies and episodes #'go for a walk. that's a healthy coping mechanism' bro i can't even go outside bc i will get lost and walk for hours and almost- #unintentionally kill myself #it sucks. it all sucks and i say things that don't make sense either. apparently. allegedly. #i just want a functional brain. i would be so unstoppable if it weren't from my brain maybe i could actually function like a normal person #and hold down a job and be consistent with my hobbies and passions and actually maintain friendships #ong ive been so lonely too #i haven't bothered making friends anymore bc i know i won't be consistent and i dont wanna waste anyone's time #that's just really unfair #and i rely so heavily on videogames and fiction to get me through the day #bc it makes me feel less lonely. yeah i know i sound lame 💀 #anyways- see y'all in another year when i remember tumblr exists

[aphsillyos]

silly lil designs for pf ez and aphelios blending into piltover :]

#me arts tag #i was going to draw smth a bit more substantial but i need a nap :'D #the monocle and glasses are just their visors disguised somehow #and the weird half vest? design for ezreal.. i imagine half of it tears off/opens (like buttons or smth) #to accommodate his arm cannon transforming. actually i imagine both their outfits kinda work like that #tearaway clothes for their pulsefire equipment somehow #although im imagining the pulsefire tech might be able to make some illusion/disguise clothes.. transforming tech? who knows #realistically im sure aphelios would cover up the glowing marks on his face but it also looked odd w/o his face markings so i just left em #ezreal monocle doesnt look as silly as i thought... maybe he should wear one normally #im meh on aphelios's coat design but maybe ill rerereredesign into oblivion... LOL #wanted to give him more of like a pilot jacket originally but idk what his vibe is. goofy lil guy. what fashion even suits you #OH.... I GUESS. HE NEEDS HIS SCARF.... ill fix it at some point probably maybe sure #i think it'd be a bit funny if ezreal is unintentionally a fashion/style person #just bc of how much blending in with timelines and worlds and stuff hes done #he just ended up absorbing so much fashion knowledge #aphelios or ekko points it out at some point and hes like. huh. im not into fashion #(said while reading a hefty book on fashion history for whatever location theyre at) #yeah im sure PEARL probably has built in search engine stuff #but ezreal just strikes me as the type of guy to research and memorize/learn stuff #''just in case i lose access to PEARL's database again'' or whatever #im sure thats probably happened like 100 times #so random but i feel like aphelios has the vibe of a guy you wanna dress up in various outfits #but also hes like :) (just happy to be included/present) so he doesnt mind #you put a goofy souvenir shop floppy hat on him and hes like. :) #my aphelios hcs are nonsense im so sorry. i want him to be happy #pulsefire ezreal #pulsefire aphelios #pulsefire #aphelios #ezreal

[lesbianliutana]

i was Just rewatching the first episode of bbc sherlock with my mum before seeing the new letters from watson email had been sent and even though it's just the first chapter it's already making me sad to see how much they changed just his Introduction

like he's so endearing !! and so clearly passionate about crime solving in a way his introduction in a study in pink just doesn't get across as well imo

if they were even aiming for that at all, which.... im doubtful ? i think bbc sherlock was a lot more concerned with making him seem cool maybe, and Definitely with getting across that he's Fucked Up or whatever and his giddy excitement here doesn't really work well with that intent. there's the scene later on in 221b baker street where they got a bit closer to showing his passion but in that scene the thing he's excited about is another murder happening which. changes it a lot i think.

he's finally shown to be passionate about his work in some way, sure, but i think it was done to, again, lean into the "ooo isn't this guy A Bit Strange" thing by having him get excited about a stranger's death. i wouldn't consider it a scene showing his love for his work, i think it's more about his hatred for being bored, because a study in pink leans more towards his passion for his work being a bad thing with how it makes his reasoning a lot more .... pessimistic maybe ?

like pink has characters talk about how he gets off on crimes in a jaded way when it's not just about it being something that stops him being bored while scarlet compares him to a child with a new toy to describe how passionately he feels and i feel like i'm using the word passionate a lot but it's the only word i think describes what it is i love about the sherlock short stories i've read so far and now the beginning of this novel that bbc sherlock (at least in it's first episode) just. doesn't really have. either that or love, maybe.

idk this is just the first chapter and i don't remember much at all of bbc sherlock after a study in pink so my opinion will probably change at some point but this is how i feel about the adaptation currently.

and anyway i wanted an excuse to show some screenshots of nice sherlock scenes bc i love him a lot

#sorry if this is negative . i wouldn't usually say that but it feels weird when its abt sherlock idk #my stuff #book tag #tv tag #sherlock holmes #letters from watson #oh god i didnt even mention him being (unintentionally probably but still doing it regardless) mean to molly i think her name was ehhh #idk it just felt a bit . god idk how to describe it other than edgy but i think my idea of edgy isn't very similar to the general idea of it #maybe jaded. again. idk i should probably google that word to make sure im using it right #did it. it does fit thankfully. it doesnt fully get across my opinions though #but yknow its a single word thats asking a lot of it

[alilsakurablossom]

eponine would have loved mr bingley from pride and prejudice

#dont even try agrueing because you know im right #he's so unintentionally marius coded i cant explain it #she especially would love the 2005 mr bingley and maybe have a soft spot for the 1995 mr bingley too but be very much in love #with the book mr bingley #mr bingley #pride and prejudice #eponine #eponine thenardier #les miserables #les mis

[tricksterlatte]

Yearning for another fandom historical event that makes me feel the way I felt when they confirmed Tracer was a lesbian. Please...it was so triumphant

#parker says things #look I know P5T had bi Joker BUT I NEED HIM KISSING SOMEONE LIKE TRACER DID #I know he's fruity we all know it but in a fandom so predominantly dudebro despite the creators being pretty split demographic wise #nothing would bring me greater joy than him smooching a boy even if it's not my ship #do y'all remember Tracer kissing Emily #i was barely even in OW fandom at that point in time and yet I remember the exact day it happened #'she's ours now' #I think it's calmed down since then or maybe the reaction to Pharah was more chill bc we kinda...could tell with her #BUT STILL #pls I need every company to make the faces of their franchises LGBT+ #Sega unintentionally makes Sonic feel gay since he's not allowed to express long term romantic interest in female characters #where's the Shadow and Sonic makeout scene Sega #Let's have Aerith and Tifa kiss too I've been wanting that for 20 years #throwback to nearly every bi option in FE3H being from Adrestria #why did they do that #I think casual confirmation of queerness is as important as slow burn queer romances and I just am nostalgic for the euphoria of lesbian Tr #*Tracer #OKAY THAT'S ALL wow I'm ranting #can you tell it's the home of phobic family dinner holiday today

[priestfrommidnightmass]

he could absolutely break my heart eventually. and i genuinely couldn’t care less

#god this whole thing drives me so crazy because like #i’m not constantly thinking abt when it’s going to be over and how it’ll end and all that like i usually do #of course i overthink and shit sometimes but most of the time #i’m able to remember the things he’s Actually said and done for me and not the things i’m scared he Could say. and i feel better #maybe i’ve said this before but recently i was trying to recall if there was even a single moment where he’d ever like #hurt my feelings or made me feel bad no matter how intentionally or unintentionally it was #and i literally couldn’t think of a single moment where he’d ever hurt me #so of course because i’m me i have to acknowledge there’s a Chance he could hurt me #and i like him so much that if that did happen it would probably really really upset me #but honestly i’m at a place right now where i don’t Care. and it’s crazy #i don’t care if he Could possibly break my heart eventually #because all i’m able to think of everytime i’m with him or talking to him is just how fucking great it feels #i can’t tell if this is any actual personal growth in me because just like #in general i don’t think i’ve ever felt this way abt anyone. it’s so dire #it’s so DIRE. #okay i’ll be quiet now but i’m just like #i don’t know. i just don’t feel negatively abt our relationship at all it just feels so Nice #not even any lingering paranoia can get in the way of how strongly i feel abt it #even if he’s not interested in me romantically whatsoever #he’s still one of the greatest and most supportive friends i’ve ever had and it’s. it’s really good #okay now i’m done

[error84]

think the newest disclaimer im going to add to certain websites is please do not imply i love one over the other when it comes to the two obvious roller coasters . because it makes me so uncomfortable and honestly just really sad!!!!!

#slugkit.txt #i think. most people do so unintentionally. but #im adding it to my about here + mabe my carrd but not like. Anywhere obvious LOL and definitely NOT instagram :skull: so #this hasnt happened recently but ykw #theres exceptions to this .. ? phrasing and what not. You dont always have to include one with the other #its moreso just an implication thing ... Like every time you talk to me you only talk about how much i love one but #woefully ignore how much i love the other because you also like it. Sort of deal #or maybe dont like it .. ? Either way #i know i have my times where i talk about one WAY more than the other and it flip flops a lot #its just mainly like .. Scenarios of purposefully ignoring one over the other #i dont like thjat at all #i love them the same. i love them differently but the amount is The Same. its never a one over the other for me #and every year it gets increasingly harder to even have them 'ranked' one over the other lol #(i only rank for funsies cuz i like putting together lists and whatnot. disclaimer.) #Sorry for the YAP in the tags. Whatever

[ark1os]

.

I didnt know the tags woulr be so much i shouldve just wrote a long vent 😭😭😭 rip

#lol. there are still times where my brain goes omg what if you’re really a narc #and then i go out of my way to make sure my friends are as comfortable as possible and thati meet all their needs and i apologize every few #minutes for something silly or for maybe hurting them unintentionally and then i remember of #every fallout w people in my life where i was always taking responsibility for my actions n for my role to what led to the fallouts no #matter how toxic the person was and i remember all the times i geniunely apologized to my siblings for my mistakes (without them pointing #out i did smth wrong) and i remember all the tomes someone told me i hurt them and i owned up to it and apologized and then i go #oh ywa. maybe not ? #bonus: all the times i helped someone out in secret to bring some ease in their life without ever telling them or bragging eith it or #using it against them or reminding them that i did x y z for them #and then all the times where my guilt ate me up at nights and i cried and the times where i brought out the best of people because my love #is Nuturing. yea #AND I GUESS THE FACT THAT MY EX BEST FRIEND TOLD ME IM A NARC AND I STRAIGHT UP WENT OMG YEA! PROBABLY! BECAUSE I WOULDVE BELIEVED HER #ANYTHING 😭😭😭😭 BECAUSE INWAS SO SURE SHE KNEW ME BETTER THAN I KNEW MYSELF! 😭😭😭 #BECAUSE I HAD LOST MYSELF COMPLETELY IN THE FRIENDSHIP 😭😭😭😭 NOT VERY NARC OF ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #but yea. i guess abandonment issues apathy and lack of communication skills (which leads to passive aggressivness) will make you look like a #narc i get where she came from! but still. if i ever see someone diagnose other people i will simply tell them to shut up #especially based on sentences taken out of context. not very sexy #and also very stupid. #rationally seen i shouldve kicked out the thought that im probably not one when my therapist told me theres no chance i am but. when you get #treated like a freaking mondter from the people you’ve trusted deeply. it does something to you >.> #also when my therapist said that she has No rights to make Any diagnosis or statements about other people because whatever i tell her its #going to tell her more about me than them. i shouldve just dtopped believing it honestly. like freaking sideeye to those therapists thst #told my ex friends im a narc. and a big fat kiss to my therapist for being such a beautiful empathstic underztanding patient beautiful and #kind person #alhamdulillah ^-^ #kicked out the thought thst i am one * #and also a big fat sorry for being hsving no empathy. my communication skills are getting brtter and im working on my abandonment issues #(sfter being abandoned by my closest friends and family hello this is so sexy of me) and im soooo much more st peace w myself n i like and #care aboyt myself ^-^ even just writing a list of positive things ahout me is smth i wouldve never done two years ago #(also my family took me back alhamdulillah eheh)

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Oh hello 3am existential crisis. Haven't seen you around in a while...can't say I missed you.

#i don't understand how i can feel so alone and so isolated while also having a number of good friends #all of whom im a little in love with in different ways #how can you love so many people so much and still feel lonely? #is it because of all my friends only one is in brickspace and i rarely even get to see her? #i know my lack of physical contact is rather alarming (i get one or two hugs a month if I'm lucky.) #(and even casual non accidental touches are rare. i get maybe one of those a week.) #is that why i feel so alone and isolated? the lack of physical connection? #i wish i had a friend i could move in with. i wish loving people didn't hurt so much. #i wish i could believe the sentiment that all relationships are important and that platonic love isn't lesser than romantic just different #but ive yet to actually see that be true. i feel like ill never be someone's most important person. or even 6th most important. #im just so fucking tired #of everything. #is it me? am i off putting? do i do things unintentionally that keep people at a distance? what am i doing wrong? why can't I connect? #i KNOW im not broken for being autistic or ace or aro etc etc but fuck if I don't feel broken most of the time #fucking hell #definitely time for bed #i bet these feelings are being exacerbated by pmdd just like my fibro and my stomach and my sleep #doesn't make the feelings any less upsetting #fox thoughts #☉

[mollypaup]

what if i started making and posting art again. what then.

#'again?' you might ask #and the answer is yes #i did used to make and post art #but then once like 5 years ago someone was like this is you #and showed me a post that was like 'relatable artist bad habit' #it was NOT mean and the post was funny #but it did make me go 'haha yeah :)' #then internally i was like 'i can never show anyone anything i ever put any amount of effort into ever again. due to the Fear.' #but what if i'm over it now and i did. #hi i poured my heart & soul into this could you maybe bear witness to my efforts & acknowledge me <mortifying. just set me on fire instead. #this was not a reasonable reaction btw i cannot overstate how not mean or cruel even unintentionally the interaction was it just happened #to perfectly hit something i was privately insecure about #this is also the real reason i have not changed my icon in forever. got scared about drawing :(

[sanguivorouscorvid]

others forget about nonbinary people so often it’s almost comical. I’ve had people assume I’m a trans woman or trans man so many times. I have never been told by someone that they assumed I was nonbinary. do you just hear “transgender” and forget there’s more than 2 options or

#maybe people have guessed correctly and never mentioned it #but idk it’s so strange. even people I’m super close with before #have thought that I’m a man or woman. I’m not!!! I’m not!!!!!!! #even other trans people so often will intentionally or unintentionally enforce binaries like this #‘are you transmasc or transfem’ #im transGENDER leave me ALONE #ok sorry about all this. im in a mood #cawing noises

[sullisuu]

donna please… donna it has almost been 10 years… I NEED MORE!!!!!

#donna tartt #sometimes i think maybe she is a terrible woman. sometime i think she could be the next jesus. #any way #i need a goldfinch sequel even thought you dont do sequels #what have you been doing #what you been up to huh #please donna! #donna where is your next unintentionally gay bestseller??? #the goldfinch #tgf

[yamsgarden]

Lol i realize that i never truly embraced making PKMN art because where I grew up, it was kinda looked down upon if you liked anything Anime/Japanese. Quebec can be rly racist unfortunately. I'm an asian adoptee, so I wanted to fit in so bad that I was ready to hate anything that wasn't like, "Quebec culture". I got bullied for loving PKMN and Naruto in elementary and highschool and it made me shut down for ever mentionning how much I loved it and how it helped me go through though times. Ironically, Naruto taught me to never give up and PKMN gave me hopes and dreams to someday have friends when irl kids taught me that anything... Let's just say "not Quebec", was ugly and inferior. Being a minority and having everyone labeled me the "quiet chinese girl" and no one wanting me around for all elementary and highschool messed me up for a long time. I wanted to fit in so badly and make friends, I was ready to hate everything about myself and I did.

So to see Ash Misty Brock and Pikachu just going on adventures, just being themselves, made me wish with all my heart that I could have friends someday. Seeing Naruto being hated and bullied but fighting through, made me want to never give up. And now I'm in constant burnout XD idk i always thought i had to compensate for being a minority by working my whole life and so I became workaholic

Sometimes I come back to my "default" way of thinking and feel like PKMN is niche and that I'll be punished for liking it, when its worldwidely loved and praised. I guess working on my PKMN Colosseum animation just brought all that back, but I'm really glad to finally feel free from that, 20 years later. Anywho, the 2000s were rough for anime lovers and gamers haha XD

#dunno if anyone can relate to that #maybe im still dumb #but i sure feel more free than ever #even tho i loved undertale and jojo #i think i unintentionally got trapped in those #just because i was rly happy to see people praising and loving something that in my time #was looked down upon T3T #oh well