#one thing abt me is that i am an emoji lover!!!!!!

[robertseanleonardthinker]

new phone pros:

- doesn't die in 5 fucking minutes

- literally everything

- it's new and i love it

- i am very happy and grateful

cons:

- samsung emojis

#i had a oneplus before 😭 #i'm sorry but these emojis r so fucking ugly #i hate looking at them #one thing abt me is that i am an emoji lover!!!!!! #i love emojis #they help me read and convey tone #now i hate looking at them #why are they so shiny...

[aeide-thea]

have been reading fic & thinking abt my relationship to fic, which is of course also among other things a mirror of my relationship to my own psyche, and like—i think all the discourse abt its being ~internalized misogyny~ to mostly/entirely read m/m is not ultimately, whatever the truth of it, all that helpful, either to readers or to Women! but of course that doesn't stop me from feeling weird guilt abt the fact that i don't read more f/f than i do, because if there's anything i love to do, it's feel unhelpfully bad abt myself on the slimmest of pretexts…

however! i did end up reading some f/f earlier, specifically transfem f/f, and it got me thinking—basically what i'm usually mostly reading fic for is the romance/sex, right? like, don't get me wrong, i love when a fic gives me a gorgeous double helix of, like, casefic and romance twisted together, that's ideal, but fundamentally most of the time the feeling up is what i sat down at the table to eat. so in a complex aegosexual way it's a fantasy i'm—not projecting onto, exactly, i don't want to be one of the people in it; but, like, lurking in the wings of with eyes big love-crumbs, to steal a phrase from a relevantly-named poet. :) and so it's no wonder that mostly i don't want to read cisfemme4cisfemme stuff, because that's not a dynamic that feels like it has any room for me, or even like i'm particularly welcome in the room. but like. if it's trans women? i'm there, i love that for them and for me. if there's a butch? i might get tripped up by our differing lenses on gender feelings and stub my toe a little but even so i'm probably here for it. (thinking here abt that one butch/femme geraskier ~cisswap which is, like, a gorgeous bruise i keep periodically pressing. <3)

so really it's just like. shocker: i'm not personally moved by fantasies abt romance which feature conventionally feminine cis women whom i don't personally find relatable or sexually desirable! and when i put it like that, it really instantly dissolves the weird useless discourse-induced guiltgunk. like. give me a woman who's, idk, tall and charismatic and strong and clever and talented at something (though honestly it's like that siken revised tweet, a lot of those characteristics are ultimately negotiable!), like women i've historically crushed on irl, and then give me a pairing for her that's like. another woman who's also enough of those things, or a man who's—honestly the kind of m/f i'm open to would be its own whole post bc holy shit am i fussy, it very much does exist but for now let's just stick a pin in that one—or somebody nonbinary, which… idk that i've ever actually seen nb/f in fic? i'm sure it exists! but i'm not sure it exists in any fandoms i've been into. pondering the question did get me really thirsty for a good 'farmgirl (of the luke skywalker variety) is absolutely stunned-and-ringing-like-a-struck-bell captivated by confident flamboyantly genderqueer love interest (example wanted)' dynamic, though…

#(this is entirely unrelated to the actual topic but every time i use a possessive to modify a gerund bc it's a verbal noun it's like #pls hold‚ time 2 decide whether i'd rather do the esoteric thing—'its being'—and have most ppl think i'm getting it wrong #or do the demotic thing—'it being'—and *know* in my own secret heart i'm getting it wrong #and both scenarios feel Bad! so it really is just lose-lose every time it comes up… a sad situation for a gerund lover like yrs truly. 😔) #(also yes what is 'wrong' when it comes 2 language anyway but like. you know what itches your ears and i know what itches mine. #…& obvs what itches mine somehow does NOT include (mis)using 'itch' as a transitive verb for comedically colloquial effect. shrug emoji!!) #anyway none of this is remotely groundbreaking or even unusual but. soothing 2 me to lay it out like this. #fannish things #i guess also #aut fieri uolo aut futuere #and no‚ the world definitely did not need >500 words retreading the same ground many other ppl have already trodden #however. what is a blog for if not to house long-winded unnecessary posts no one but the author (if that) really needed. #in conclusion anything i say abt My Relationship 2 Fic is really always a diptych with that anecdote abt the woman who called up queer bars #just to know there was a space out there where freedom and joy existed‚ and brush the edge of it‚ just a little #like am i personally embodying/visible as much of what i'm deeply emotionally bound up with? no. #is it nonetheless/therefore hugely important to me to see those possibilities stretched out before me like a far green field? sure is!!

[glcive]

juno’s 270 follower celebration

hiii omg this is insane!! i cant believe there are 100 more of you within like a month?? i am so grateful to every one of you, i never thought that people would like me this much?? i hope we all have a wonderful 2024!!

intro post

edit: tysm for the requests everyone!! i love doing them all for you <33 if i don't get to them immediately im very sorry, if you see me online/posting im usually on my phone and i prefer to do the requests on my laptop, so i promise i will get to your request eventually!!!! ily

simulation swarm - ill make you a moodboard (can be based off of you, an emoji, vibe, or anything)

all we know - ill make you a playlist (can be based off of you, an emoji, vibe, or anything)

your best american girl - ill tell you a song, album and artist that reminds me of you

play destroy - ill write a little paragraph on things i associate you with 

sadness as a gift - ill make you a small drawing/sketch of a character or person

vampire empire - ill shuffle my music and give you my favourite lyric from that song

lust for life - i design you an outfit using pinterest

lovers rock - i design you a room using pinterest

thats what you get - i guess what you look like based on your vibes

margaret - i give you advice for an issue you have

gibson girl - ill plan my dream holiday id go on with you (mutuals only)

anti-curse - i do a simplified celtic cross tarot reading for you (mutuals only)

17250 - i make you a (relatively small) pinterest board (can be based off of you, an emoji, vibe or anything) (mutuals only)

rules 

followers and mutuals only

please send these via an ask!! it makes things easier for me :)

end date is february 29th

as i go back to school early feb it might take a little bit for me to respond, but i will get to your request eventually!!

max of two per ask!! but there’s no limit to how many you can do in total

i might not know the character you want me to draw/make a playlist or moodboard of, in that case ill let you know and you can request something different :)

have fun!! and thank you again for this &lt;333

inspired by @svnflowermoon and @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies ahaha i basically just stole most of these from you two sorryyy &lt;333

beautiful dividers by @chachachannah and @saradika-graphics

mutuals!! sorry if i missed you :(( lmk you want to be added or removed from this list!! @zzzzzzzzzee @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @literatureisdying @tellme-o-muse @recklessandyoung @crowgenius @imswimmingback @strawberryloveyyy @syzygy-yzygy @svnflowermoon @ineedibuprofen @august-taylors-version @a-portal-to-nowhere @qwerty-keysmash @judeisthedude @wastedonthesebutterflies @skeelly @trying-to-be-cool-abt-it @bookscorpion73 @mandythedino @personifiedgoldenretriever @notatypicalhumanatall @isitoversnowtvs @stopurlosingme @evermore-4-life @aaalixaf @evazlana @giveuthemo0n @leaskisses444 @justalunaticfangirl

#juno's 270 celebration #<- everything to do with this celebration will be tagged!! #intro post #<- you can find my intro post here #juno.txt #asks #beautiful mutuals #them tag <33 #anon #tag game #ask bait #spotify #<- nav tags!! check out my intro post to see what they mean :)

[anotherghoul666]

ghoul!! bc my brain cant leave things alone i've been stuck on the masks post u made for a while ... does being attracted to things i view as "creatures" count as terato ... bc at first i was like nah i dont have that..... but here i am lmao

i also wanted to ask u what knowledge/experience u may have with solo poly? i really like the concept of it but dont actually know anyone who is rlly in the poly world

(also also ? i agree w owlish abt the anonymity thing and wanted to take a name to sort of allow the option of anonymity if thats chill w you? ideally batty or 🦇 (bat emoji) whichever one is easier)

Well, like any other kink or -philia, terato is something you get to define for yourself and chose to identify with or not. I can't decide what counts as teratophilia for you. I think the core aspect is, what do you mean by "creatures", and how human are these creatures that are objects of your attraction. Cause terato is attraction to the monstrous and non-human. But like, humanoids and human-look-alike monsters have a huge following too. Some humanoids lovers would consider that terato, some wouldn't.

Like, let's say someone's super into the idea of a shapeshifter creature. If the shapeshifter only shapeshifts into different humans, is it still a creature? Is it non-human enough? Do we ever see the "true" shape of the shapeshifter, does it even have one, or does it always need a human vesel, and if it does, is it monstrous "enough"? The concept of "enough" is up for you to decide. Some people would say loving a shapeshifter is terato by default cause monster; some would say it only is terato if it has a monstrous shape too or if it shifts into monsters and not just humans; some would say if it shifts into humans at all it isn't terato anymore. That's 100% subjective and for you to decide.

If you wanna give me examples of what these things you view as creatures are, I can give you my opinion, as in, would I define that as terato or not for myself, but I can't answer for you. (that being said, if you also just wanna share the objects of your monsterfucking attractions for the sake of sharing them and getting hype over them with someone, my inbox and/or DMs are ALWAYS open for some creature loving!!)

Now! as far as your other questions:

I have no personal experience with solo poly, because I have a life partner and I have only been in the non-monogamous lifestyle within the context of this anchor partnership + other partners that want to share my life and/or my partner's life in various ways. So I cannot comment on the solo poly experience on a level that would be satisfying or well informed enough for my standards. I,m sorry! That being said! I'd recommend getting in touch with your local poly comunity. Yes I guarantee you there's one where you are, even if you live in a small town. At the very least a bigger town nearby will have a local community, and you can reach your local people online. Us non-mono folks are everywhere. Google or look up on facebook for local poly groups; or reach out to your local queer community as we tend to have ties with the non-mono community as well; or reach out to your local kink/BDSM sommunity if you're involved in that as we also have strong ties with the non-mono community and often share sexual diversity spaces. There will be people there who can give better information about solo poly than I can.

(and for an anon name, please feel free if that makes you feel more comfortable!! I already have a bat / bat emoji anon though, so I'd advise picking another one so you two do not get confused for each other.)

#asks

[lucias-moved]

hiii baz the pushing daisies au looks so good!! do you by any chance have any other haikyuu fic recs? i've been trying to find good ones so if you did that'd be cool ❣️ tysm <3

fufu hi yay im happy ur interested!!! and omg. yes i absolutely do i am so glad u asked. not sure if u have any genre or pairing preferences so ill just give some random ones:

sinners by lettersinpetals | sakuatsu 29k enemies to friends to lovers, high school au set in the philippines, focuses on sakusa and his mental health as well as family dynamics. havent read it in a bit but its probably one of my favorites with both writing style and concept

character development by silvercistern | bokuaka 76k fake dating ish, high school/college au set in la county, mainly abt akaashi navigating his senior yr after a big incident the previous year. love love love how this author writes akaashi n this one is phenomenal

any of priorwalter's works | probably one of my fav hq authors i love their characterization and writing style it makes me feel things every time :') they just wrote an osasuna fic too its my beloved<33

till death do us part by sketchedsmiles | 37k osasuna assassins au !!!!! with a twist !!! ughh so good .. for some reason i found like 3 different osasuna assassin aus in a week they were all great i love assassin!suna with my whole heart

tell me we'll never get used to it by sulfate | 1k iwaoi oneshot, warning for body horror bc oikawa can grow plants from his skin. this one is a comfort fic ik its super short but its so soft and sweet

only fools fall for you by crossroadswrite | 9k kagekenhina, everyone has a crush on everyone theyre just kids in love. rly cute and i think this ship has a great dynamic <3

slip of the pen by limeprint, plumii | 6k sunaosa college au, theyre roommates and suna is a writer with many sappy thoughts. poetic and it made me smile a lot :)

dont look now by pancakewars | 5k kuroken kind of angsty? explaining it would give a lot away just know that its a little sad n bittersweet but still nice

ice ice baby by ohwickedsoul | 10k mainly bokuaka w some others, figure skating/hockey au. another comfort fic! seriously the writing is so good and i love skating aus so .

6/10 by cheekybrunette | 19k kagehina canon compliant, but its mostly abt kageyama with a heavy focus on his anxiety. makes me cry because of how much i can relate to it :') (also the rest of the authors hq fics r good too!)

brunch friends series by newamsterdam | multiple pairings, au where like. everyones an adult and has their own jobs n stuff is there a name for this . so fun to read and well written, very heart emoji

#SORRY THERES ONLY ONE KUROKEN FIC I KNOW U LIKE THEM .. i just feel like i rarely find krkn fics i like idk -.- #i rly hope there are at least some u havent read yet -w- #also if u want more totally lmk omg there are so many good recs i could dig out from my ao3 history fhfhfhjf #.asks #haikyuu

[saltymiraculer]

here ya go anon

So, I’ve been getting anonymous asks after asks after asks for an adrien/marinette/alya/nino group chat and I decided to just make a dumb one so they would stop but it turned salty and here ya go

.

Unknown: …

Unknown: alright fess up who made the group chat

Unknown: it was me

Unknown: who the hell r u

Unknown: alya

Unknown: o ok im marinette

Unknown: TF guys??? It’s Adrien, but why did you make this?

Alya: wait did we add nino

Alya added Nino to Group Hangout

Alya: there we go

Nino: what the fuck

Nino: what is this????

Marinette renamed the chat shit talkers

Marinette: …

Adrien…

Alya…

Nino: what the FUCK

Nino renamed Nino as icantdrawforshit

icantdrawforshit: well its true

Marinette: wait you can do that

Alya renamed Alya as yaaasqueen

yaaasqueen: WeLl iT’s TrUe

Marinette: where the fuck is adrien

Adrien: Here!

Adrien renamed Adrien as noiristhenewblack

Marinette: pleeeease dont tell me youre a chat noir fanboy

noiristhenewblack: Hell yeah, I am!

yaasqueen: l a d y n o i r ?

noristhenewblack: YES!

icantdrawforshit: ye

Marinette: nu

Marinette renamed Marinette noladynoir

yaaasqueen: ???

yaaasqueen: why u hating on my ship?

noladynoir: so u know all those cute gifs u post on your blog of the kisses n stuff

yaaasqueen: yea those are so adorable!

noladynoir: when have you seen LB actually say yess to the kisses and dates

yaaasqueen: …

icantdrawforshit: oooo things about to get spicy

icantdrawforshit: 🍿🍿🍿

yaaasqueen: um shit i actualy havent

yaaasqueen: *actually

noiristhenewblack: Well, I’m sure she’s fine with it! Ladybug never OBJECTS to them, does she?

noladynoir: u actually pay attention during the fights right?

noladynoir: cuz if u did u would know that LB always tells him to stop

noiristhenewblack: No, she doesn’t! They’re in love, right, Alya?

yaaasqueen: mari makes a good point

yaaasqueen: ill see during the next battle + show it to u

2:48 PM

yaaasqueen sent a video

yaaasqueen: well shit

yaaasqueen: do i have some tea to spill

icantdrawforshit: holy fuck

noiristhenewblack: ?????

icantdrawforshit: watch the video

noiristhenewblack: I don’t see the problem?

noladynoir: do u need glasses my dude because its pretty obvious to us

noiristhenewblack: Can someone explain the problem to me? It just looks like a normal fight.

icantdrawforshit: thats the fuckn problem

yaaasqueen: if u actually watch the video you see that LB keeps flinching away from CN and she keeps tellinh him to stop but he doesn’t stop

noladynoir: that’s what ive been trying to say! she doesn’t like chat noir and he keeps telling her they’re in love anyways!

noiristhenewblack: But it’s probably just a lovers’ quarrel! Couples fight, don’t they?

icantdrawforshit: not like that my dude

yaaasqueen exited the group chat

.

yaaasqueen logged onto adrienette is otp

yaaasqueen: get on the chat u lil bitches i have something to tell u

sportboi: wat is it 👀👀👀👀

yaasqueen: quit it with the emojis kim

sportboi: 🚫 no 🚫

sk8rgorl: ok what is it alya

yaaasqueen sent three images

yaaasqueen: this is the reaction to the vid i sent u guys earlier

icantdrawforshit: im private chatting w/ adrien rn and he keeps telling me that chat noir and lb are in love, it’s really creepy how possessive he is, pls send help

rosebud: uh-oh! that’s not good! what should we do?

lightscameraaction: yeah that’s really creepy, especially with how weird chat’s being in the video, how can he think that’s okay? LB looks so uncomfortable!

sk8rgorl: should we do something abt it? cuz chats a superhero n all

sportboi: yeah i mean ive never been sexually harassed but its not right how he’s just violating her like that 😬

icantdrawforshit sent an image

icantdrawforshit: WTF GUYS HE JUST SAID THAT IT WAS LB’S FAULT

yaaasqueen: wtf???

rosebud: the image isn’t loading! can u explain please 🥺🥺🥺🥺

icantdrawforshit: so i said “he didn’t have the right to touch her like that” and he said “Well, it’s her fault! She’s the one who’s so nice to him, she would just punch him if she didn’t like it!” so i said “well what if she doesn’t want to punch him” and this DOOD had the gall to say “Then she likes it!”

rosebud: …

rosebud: that’s just wrong.

lightscameraaction: yeah srsly that’s not right???

yaaasqueen: should we show marinette

yaaasqueen: cuz she was right all along

sk8rgorl: probably

sk8rgorl added noladynoir to the chat

noladynoir: hi guys

yaaasqueen: we were just talking about how it wasnt right for CN to touch LB like that do u have anything to say

yaaasqueen: that sounded rlly rude sry

noladynoir: actually i was assaulted like that earlier it was kinda terrifying

rosebud: oh no! i’m so sorry, Marinette!

.

to be continued?

#adrien agreste #adrien sucks #adrien salt #adrien bashing #chat noir salt #chat noir bashing #chat noir #class sugar #ml salt #ml salt fic #ml texting #ml texts

[hwaflms]

Fav Emoji: 🗡

Hi!!! I was wondering if I can get a ship for txt, nct, and ateez pls? I’ll really try not to make this long, but it’s hard sometimes lol.

Anyways, I’m an 18 year old 03’ liner and I’m 5’6. As for looks, I’m african american so i have dark skin, brown eyes and cinnamon colored hair. I cut my hair really short above my ears. I look rather young for my age (unfortunately). I’m rather slim and i have long legs and arms so people say I look even taller than what i am. I have large round eyes a big forehead, a button nose, and thick(ish) lips with round cheeks(ok now i understand why ppl think i’m vv young 🙄) But nowadays i’m more confident in myself and it’s no longer an insecurity of mine. I’d like to say i’m very stylish yet i can’t pick an aesthetic for the life of me.

To sum up my fav aesthetic/style, i would have to say something that’s dark but sophisticated. Like dark academia, but add a bit more of an alt/goth style to it. I like listening to visual kei and rock music, but to be honest, I love all music, even country some times.

I’m from the south of usa, so that has influenced how i am A LOT. I usually don’t have an accent, but whenever i feel a really strong emotion, I get a really strong southern accent and it’s kind of funny. I also tend to go outside without any shoes or socks. I like playing with my pets outside the most, I have two dogs (one is a rottweiler and one is a bull dog), my cat (just a black cat) and my bird. I love love love animals. I love everything to do with nature as well, i feel a deep connection with nature, and once, i even cried while watching bees pollinate flowers help lol.

My psychic said my aura was multiple shades of green, which i think it fits, seeing that green auras represented healers and earth lovers. My dad tends to call me a hippie lol. Astrology wise, I’m a leo sun, leo moon, and scorpio rising. My personality type is INFP-T. My friends say i’m quite funny, and they like to point out, “she’s really really smart, but like everyone, she has her dumb moments, but her dumb moments are the dumbest of the dumbest.”

I’m very sensitive, and not in the “i’m always crying way”. Yet, when i do cry, i tend to cry over the smallest of things, like the bee one. I cry over animals being cute, and I cry when i’m rlly rlly excited. Yet if i’m rlly sad, i can’t cry for some reason, and i’m just 😐. But, I try my hardest to comfort others and help others because there seriously is no other happiness in the world that makes me more happy than making others happy.

I like to talk a lot, as well (as you can see), and i’ll talk about every topic. I tend to talk most about child birth and genetics weirdly enough, it’s so interesting to me. But i also love to talk about astrology, space, and conspiracy theories. I’m highly spiritual. I’m also highly creative. I love drawing, singing, dancing, acting, all of that. Drawing has always been my strongest suit before i somehow got bored of it, but i still draw every once and a while.

I also like playing sports, as i’m naturally athletic. I did ballet, tap dance, gymnastics, track and field, cheerleading, soccer, and softball. (i think cheer is a sport and i’ll argue with anyone on that). I’ve lived in america, germany, and south korea, and i want to travel to so many more places as i grow older.

As for relationship stuff, I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m scared of boys to be honest. I was bullied in school a lot for being “ugly” and it was always by boys so i’ve never really had the best experience with them. I’m still trying to gain my confidence so that i could try dating.

My ideal type is someone smart (though i don’t hate himbos lmao), but i like someone smart and mature. I like someone who works hard, but not someone who’s too serious. With people, i like to have those love/hate relationships lol like we make fun of each other but we also have our soft moments. As for looks, i don’t rlly have an ideal type, yet there’s a couple things that i would go for. I like someone who’s taller than me, has bigger hands than me (mine are 18cm 😥), and has nice legs (i tend to like thicker legs, but i don’t discriminate). I do think smaller guys around my height are so cute too tho, like UGH I CANT CHOOSE.

My ideal date would probably be anything other than going to a restaurant. Maybe later on in the relationship that would be fine, but to be honest, i’m very awkward and shy at first, so it would just be weird. I find that doing something fun together really let’s you find out more about a person rather than just talking. So maybe an amusement park, or even doing an escape room together.

As for love languages, i’m not a very touchy person. Sometimes, i’m STARVING for a hug, but most of the time i don’t like to be touched. I think my love language is acts of service, and idk what’s it’s called, but just trying to find out abt someone. Someone would really know i like them when i ask for their whole zodiac chart, personality type, weekday of birth, everything.

Tbh, i’m very much like a tsundere. I don’t like showing affection very much, and i’d rather insult the ppl that i like than compliment them. Though, this is probably the reason ppl think i don’t like them when i first meet them. Sometimes i might get rlly mushy and cute and stuff, but most of the time, i’m just not used to showing affection, so i feel kinda uncomfy when i do.

Ok, that’s all, i really hope it wasn’t too much for you to read, i tend to get carried away ❤️ have a nice day ily

୨୧ 𓂃 : 🐇 :┊ i ship you with . . .

💌 — huening kai ♡ txt.

𖥻 the last thing a relationship with hyuka would be is boring. he gives off very "best friend who also happens to be your boyfriend" vibes, so there would be a lot off playing around and goofing off. he can be affectionate but also likes his space, like you, so you would be able to find a middle ground. he would like is your relationship was light and fun, teasing each other and making fun of each other. if you ever felt insecure, he would make you feel better in a less "let's talk about it" way and a more "ugh you're so silly, why would you think that when you're perfect??" way.

💌 — johnny ♡ nct.

𖥻 johnny is a chill and laid-back person, so conversation with him would come easy. there wouldn't be an awkward stage with him because johnny is a pretty smooth talker and he would make it easier for you to talk to him. johnny would NEVER make you feel insecure, if anything, he'd be the type of boyfriend who would be hyping you up all the time, even when you're doing absolutely nothing. johnny loves music too so, while he might make fun of you a lil for listening to country, he would love vibing to music with you. we all know johnny is mf hilarious, so he could definitely joke around with you and insult you playfully often ! plus johnny is a sexc tall boy and he has legs for days D:

💌 — hongjoong ♡ atz.

𖥻 hongjoong has the perfect balance of being mature and hardworking while also being playful. he knows how to take a joke and return the favour by teasing you, so i think in that aspect, you will have an easy-going relationship. he also will definitely be so supportive of you, and will be there for you whenever you need it. the kind of dates he would prefer would be more indoor ones, especially just in his studio !! he would show the amount of affection you're comfortable with, never pushing your boundaries or pressuring you.

♡ 𓄹 ࣪ ˖ i hope you like this !! and also, i just wanted to let you know that you are so so beautiful, okay, ilysm <3 boys suck, pls ignore them >:( thank you for sending this in, stay safe ^_^

#(-_- ) zZ ships ★!

[cortropy]

ok i was talking abt this earlier in a few different servers and it’s all cortropy related i PROMISE so it won’t be endless rambling. we already know ntropy isn’t human-- how we interpret that is all the more diverse. i see him as kind of like an alien, actually but that’s besides the point because the point is he’s not of the human species. you know how with some species on earth two animals duel for a mate. i know in this scenario/headcanon the flatworm would be an appropriate example but i know how they mate and i am not using them as an example ok guys give me a break (sobbing emoji) getting back on point what if instead of males fighting males for a female-- the male and the female enrage in an almost choreographed duel of skill and power that isn’t focused so much on the aspect of fighting but rather the synchronization the two mates naturally have together and how well they fare sparring off against each other. i wldn’t say this is inherently nsfw but it does attract a mate aka a lover in more of a passionate tension kind of sense and less of a romantic one. i believe it also doubles as something that can be repeated with mates that are already paired together as a way to increase their sync and bond as well as power. i think that there IS a winner at the end, and winner chooses whether or not to mate with said loser but of course it can always end in a draw, and the mates can be mutually chosen. it doesn’t always have to be a “mating” purpose anyways-- i think it’s also used to build bonds between two persons in the species. this is my personal headcanon but i think ntropy’s species does this. no canonical backing, just an idea i think is pretty cool since both ntropys from what we’ve seen are decked out in gear and have to seem perfect harmony when they fight together so it leads me to believe they had a romantic “mating” spar and boosted their teamwork together (and since they’re so flirtatious). i mean you can SEE before their fight, that animation they do, it’s pretty in-sync and cool looking. this isn’t canonical backing but i think this is a REALLY cool idea that ntropy and his species engage in a heated duel of passion and power to become mates. NOW FOR THE CORTROPY PART BABY!!!!! WHAT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR i’m thinking about both MLM cortropy and WLW cortropy so i’ll do both individually: WLW cortropy: i always imagined their duel to be a little more romance inclined, as when i think of their duel i immediately think of the scroldie fight from s2ep10 of ducktales (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjIxWDT0D3Y) almost like a dance of sorts. i wld say the catradora dance scene as well but i think the scroldie fight scene encompasses them better since it’s more romantically inclined and more choreographed-- plus adora’s frustration with catra gets in the way of what i’m trying to think. MLM cortropy: their duel i would think is a bit more focused on rough-housing. i bet ntropy’s trying to keep it as strict to tradition as possible but this IS cortex he’s dueling with so they are way more focused with one-upping each other which actually in turn creates le homoerotic tension but also the passion and bond (unintentionally but. still got the job done) what i DEFINITELY see happening in any of these scenarios with said duel scene, not gender exclusive: -the classic “dip” aka just “one of them catching the other so it looks like a dip like that one scene in the catradora dance” -the “person A lifting person B’s chin up with the end of their weapon thinking they’ve won”, followed up by the “person B trips person A making them drop their weapon, person A looking up to see person B either holding the weapon at them or holding a hand out for some help getting up” (bonus points for person B having a smug smirk on the follow up) -the “clashing of weapons up close so person A and person B are pretty damn close looking at each other in the eyes as they press their weapons together”, possibly followed up by “one of them gives out and the other one who’s pushing harder ends up falling on the person that gave out and they’re on top of each other now” -and of course many many more things i am probably missing (QRB WITH AN IDEA OF YOUR OWN...) but additionally some mutual patching up and rest during the aftermath SORRY THIS POST WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO LONG BUT I RLLY NEEDED TO GET IT OUT THERE SO BADLY!!!!! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS IDEA OK BYE (RUNS AWAY)

#help. long ass post #i am fkn insane #PLS LMK GUYS PLEASEEEE #pls someone. cortropy food??? #on my hands and knees #begging. #cortropy #timeray #doctor n tropy #n tropy #doctor neo cortex #neo cortex #oh god this is so embarrassing. #sorry crash tag you will get my cringe idea in ur feed #crash bandicoot 4 #crash 4 #crash 4 its about time

[lexicals]

EPISODE NOTES COMING AT YOU RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW

THIS EPISODE CLEARED MY SKIN WATERED MY CROPS CURED ALL MY MENTAL ILLNESSES YOU KNOW. ALL THAT GOOD STUFF

LESBIANNSSSSSS

This first part is as usual gonna be completely out of order. Anyway

VESPA WAS SO SOFT THIS EP ;; I lover her sm I love her and buddy I love them communicating I love vespa comforting buddy who is allowing herself to be vulnerable for once

Speaking OF, aside from just the fantastic character development for buddy and the point abt her being a narcissist needing to listen to Her Own Goddamn Advice

The parallels between her and nureyev were more prominent than EVER this episode!! Jet suggesting that she leave him in command!! Her bit about her persona only ever having been a mask!! Saying that she's one of the best equipped people to spot an act in progress because she's done it herself for so long!! The obsession with being Good Enough and keeping up that flawless persona!! LIKE MOTHER LIKE SON GIVE ME THIS CONTENT

NUREYEV HATERS GET WRECKED

He had so much good shit this episode. First of all he actually sounded like capital N Nureyev, not ransom or anyone else. Second of all he was so willing to put himself in harm's way for this heist!! He's acting so much like he was when he was younger, desperate to get the job done, insisting he can do it even when it's obvious he's overreaching because he wants it so badly

SPEAKING OF JUNO GETTING HIS SHOOTING ABILITY BACK AAAAAAAAA

I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. HE SOUNDED SO HAPPY. HE SOUNDED SO EXCITED

Also vespa calling nureyev selfish and saying that she bets he's never sacrificed anything in his life?? When I say I shouted OUCH out loud jesus christ

Like okay do I think the debt subplot is gonna come to a head next episode (juno's episode)?? Absolutely. Do I think that nureyev is gonna try to make a break for it with the four items now that they've finished the heist? YUP. Do I also think he's doing it because he's scared and is trying to do as little harm as possible while trying to protect himself? YEAH.

His speech about symbols being all anyone has and just,, ooooof god. God. Someone give this poor man a hug

Also he deffo stole the knife right at the end there huh. "Lost" my ass

Juno being a fucking first rate detective once again mr steel I love you I love you you dumb whiny baby

I love buddy and vespa being so jokingly disparaging of them all T~T They're family and they give each other shit and they love each other!!

Vespa called juno by his name!! Not by steel!! Admittedly I'm p sure it was only to buddy but Still

"You're not the only one on this ship with medical secrets" vespa???? Hello????? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Nureyev quoting buddy's line from the end of man in glass a YEAR after she said it to him and after he spent all of MiG quoting mag?? One hit KO to my heart. She's as much a parent and mentor to him as mag ever was and I need SO much more content of the two of them bonding & being mother & son

I definitely need to listen to this ep again at LEAST once. Jesus. Spent the whole thing bouncing up and down and screaming. In fact I think I have given myself a headache by overheating my brain so I will add more to this Later

Thoughts after the fact:

What vespa was saying about nureyev acting differently..... could be read as him being nervous but I can't help but think with him having been talking in his own voice all episode, what if he just wasn't putting up a persona? I don't think it would be much of a leap to think that nureyev in actuality is much quieter than the personalities he wears, but idk, just a thought

This is further to discussions that were had on the tpp adults server but uhh juno is So smart and should have been listened to earlier not just in this episode, but like going back to part one he's been pointing out buddy's questionable decisions she's made to put off this heist for almost the whole year!! Listen to juno challenge cb crew smh

I know..... that jet has been lined up as buddy's successor...... but like idk I feel like that's not a role that suits jet rly?? Yes, he's calm and steady and logical but he doesn't have buddy's strategic mind or charisma, and yes I am saying this because nureyev does and I want this to be plot relevant besides making for interesting parallels

LET NUREYEV TAKE UP THE MANTLE 2020

Second listen notes:

I just. Love buddy sm the way she speaks is so fun to listen to

“How are your children? Which is to say your car”

Nureyev is like, legit so loyal to buddy? He defends her a lot and clearly respects her immensely. Pls kabert can we have mother and son bonding

Buddy and jet’s relationship....... I cry I cry I cry

Like I literally cannot pick out my fav lines from this ep bc there’s SO many of them I’d just be quoting the whole thing

I love. Hearing buddy and vespa just talking though. Ragging juno and nureyev, being sweet with each other, laughing together..... vespa being like “one thing first - I love you :>” healed me

“If our places were switched, what would you say to me?” [CRYING CAT EMOJI]

Juno’s little “Yes, yes! Yes” just, T~T

The fact that buddy gets her advice referenced from every crew member...... jet, vespa, nureyev, and then rita..... not juno though? Idk if that’s because we just haven’t heard from juno yet or ??? idk. Weird though

Listen not to go back to this but jet does NOT sound like he wants the captain role...... and like, even on a meta level I’m not so sure he suits it but like buddy says he hates it when she says it and LET NUREYEV SUCCEED BUDDY 2020

Vespa is so excited abt the prime ;; Like SO excited, which is so sweet, but also I’m very very interested in that writing on the bottom

She’s so SOFT with buddy as well, and so calm...... I’m cry I’m cry she’s just like “okay, so you’ve got a problem, let’s fix it then”

“We’ve all had to put up with juno and ransom [acting like newlyweds] long enough” YELL. The fond family ragging of it all but also jupeter confirmed for completely insufferable

Couple of additional things:

I find.... nureyev’s little speech abt symbols and stuff rly interesting. Idk my running theory abt his debts is that his name is being used as leverage against him with the stipulation being “if you don’t pay, we’ll release your name and face to the public” meaning not only will he be in danger, but brahma as well, if we assume that the GAS has been deactivated since he left. The symbol he left behind is the only thing keeping the citizens of brahma safe - and not even that tbh, it’s only providing the illusion of safety, if this is actually the case. Idk I really wanna get my hands on the script now I think that speech says a lot abt his mental state rn

WHO ELSE ON THE CREW HAS MEDICAL SECRETS VESPA?

I don’t like the sick nureyev theory tbh but ):

#wastepaper basket #tpp #tpp s3 #tpp spoilers #tpp s3 spoilers #tpp meta tag #IN SUMMARY HHHHH GOOD EP

[cheolbooluvr]

*knocks on door* helloo, it's me again 👀 let me start with the most important thing: you're writing is definitely NOT "meh" T_T I love you're writing style, the way you describe thoughts and feelings and the setting, like dude, have you actually read what you write? while we're already at it, I am in absolute love with Woozi's confession part? It perfectly fits his personality, I could imagine that happening exactly this way 🥺 about your milestone prompt game, I was eating breakfast (why do you live on the other side of the world D;) while reading the part with Jeonghan and I almost choked on my cereal because I had to laugh sm when he revealed they had to kiss lmao 😂

and I really loved the other parts, too, especially the one with Wonwoo, it's just...perfect :D

I was just a bit confused because you said it's an established relationship and I thought they already were a couple but I probably just got the wrong idea of what "established relationship" actually means, tbh I have no clue about terms for fanfics now about Leica 🥺 IT'S SO GOOD??? asjkdlaksusakjl the way the reader could tell it's Cheol, or maybe it was just me but I was literally sitting here thinking "I can imagine Cheol doing that...which other member could also fit tho? But Cheol.." ajkhdkjlWJD It's just reeeeeeaally good okay? okay. quick question, are you doing photography, too? 👀 and wait, I'm also on my laptop on tumblr recently since my phone is broken rn oops and I just found out that I can press the windows key and the . (point) key to use emojis? though, idk if that works for you, too I've actually reread both stories, "When we meet again" and "My dream is you", but I was talking about the one with Mingyu <3 and it's so cool that you want to write your own novels! Omg go for it! The talent is definitely there 😌 looking forward to your collabs and what else you planned or already have on hand :D now, last but not least, Vincenzo *clears throat* it's an emotional roller coaster and I don't know what to feel about that T_T I love the show, no doubts, but my heart was broken several times by now and I haven't even reached half time yet :( BUT they are iconic, he is iconic and I'm living for everything they do may I ask who your favourite characters would be? this has nothing to do with you writing, I am so sorry anyway, I should probably go to bed *coughs*, but who needs sleep am I right? well, enjoy your day/evening, stay healthy and safe and take care <3 ~🌙

well well well if it isn't the LOVE OF MY LIFE HI🌙 ANON 💕

okay before we dive in, re: wonwoo's drabble, that was a mistake hahahahaha they are most definitely NOT in an established relationship 😂 i copy and paste the formatting for previous fics and sometimes i forget to change the details (wc, genre, warnings, etc). it's happened a lot so not surprised i forgot to change it again lol

next, WOW THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS 🥺 i hit a wall of self-doubt while i was writing recently and i felt my writing style wasn't good enough :(( but now i'm just using that to push myself and vary my sentence structure and be descriptive but not too descriptive, etc etc. to answer your question if i actually read what i write: no hahaha my brain is dead after i write and then i get fed up w it and then post it and never look back (jk i do reread them sometimes)

the jeonghan one i am rly happy w and i'm glad you enjoyed it 🤗 i was literally abt to go to bed and my brain went: OMG WHAT IF JEONGHAN ENEMIES TO LOVERS and the rest is history.

also i am so glad you like woozi's confession, i struggled a lot w that one 😭 and leica too omg!! i am so so so glad you thought of cheol uwu i'm soft for him and then he posted those photos from his leica lol and i was like YES ANGSTY TIME anyways-- to answer your other question, yes i do do photography!! only digital tho, so any film buffs who read leica will probably eat me alive bc idk how to actually develop film 😭

agshdkfldl thank you for supporting me and my novelist dreams 🥺 super reassuring knowing at least ONE person will read my stories 💕 (also i will try the emoji thing on my computer)

now speaking of collabs, i've already finished one and i MIGHT post a sneak peek bc i'm very excited abt it hehe so keep an eye out ;)

okay and finally: VINCENZO. it's quite the whirlwind, keeps you on your toes 24/7, funny, sad, lovely, hilarious, it rly ticks a lot of boxes that most kdramas don't usually do. the heartbreak tho, OOF, lemme just say you need to prepare yourself. fav characters? hong cha young: absolute QUEEN, she is so incredible and honestly everything i ever aspire to be. i also just love all of the tenants of geumga like they add so much color to the show. i think vincenzo would be a lot darker without them which would be FINE but i'm glad they're there ☺ also plz we don't have to talk abt my writing all the time lol

also plz get some sleep!! rest up, drink water, and always stay safe and healthy <333

#cheolbooluvr asks #cheolbooluvr 🌙 anon

[nerice]

okay talk to me about sky and reina first!!!

aaaaaa im so late replying 2 this i was gna draw cute art but hands slow n i’m upsetti today so i’m doing this as form of therapy uwu

those 2 r !!! possibly my most important ocs ever [gently holds heart]

sky (darling baby girl !! true fav oc!!!!) i am not kidding when i say that of the millions of words ive written for this verse, a good few hundred thousand have been abt her alone ;;___;; maxed out strength stat by birth, also maxed out trauma by birth [knife emoji] she’s got unlimited physical strength due 2 the fun moon constellation in her blood but that power is Always On so she regularly breaks doors n cups n bends tableware (rip) hugs are always a balancing act bc bones crunch reallll easily if ur not careful :^) im saying all of this lightheartedly but she’s been thru hell & it took a whole long time (palace arc + lhnh) to master control of her strength, n she still slips up later but then it’s mostly funny accidents or a too hard elbow 2 the ribs bc she won’t let you forget that she could pulverize u on the spot :’) good ego is always healthy. she’s got a too good heart & a savior complex n while she spends most of her later 20s n 30s traveling the world, she ends up coming back 2 the palace she grew up in & managing it & turning it into an orphanage collecting stray kids n turning no one away. a lil bit of that good Running Yourself Into The Ground Trying To Save Everyone :’))) also since u asked abt leah in another ask !! leah is the daughter of sky’s mentor (that taught sky most of her strength control) & after her mentor’s death, sky adopts leah !!! much of her traveling was done 2 find a cure for leah’s rare sickness to moderate success but it’s an ongoing issue ://

[cuts a billion words from this gmfgmfk but that works as introduction !! sure !! takes a higher oc lore level 2 get into sky’s soulless blood n how that’s eating away at her all the while :)))) im ok this is fine. yeet]

reina !! is the love of my life oc wife, queen of my heart, the only oc i ever draw tm & so much more !! she is the original first true ruler (god) of the verse, meaning the first immortal born from the moon core & rulers all come with their own world which they get 2 shape. hers was nerice (url drop uwu,, ) but reina did not. get along w her world as it descended into war & each faction sought to harness her immortality for their own gains & in her ever-growing despair she split her soul which. had Consequences that the entire rest of the storyverse is trying to navigate n fix from there on out. in particular th act of soul splitting cracked the moon core [universe engine, base machination of all creation] which set off a failsafe (azra) that then wiped out her world n continues to chase reina thru the subsequent worlds she creates. n also soulless are now a thing (against their will) since th system is soul-based they’re a glitch that shouldn’t be possible n suffer funky complications as a result of it also known as Life Sucks Disorder but that is. a different discussion. fr most of the story reina acts as leader of the resistance against azra, all while her immortality (once perfect, unbreakable skin and no sense of pain) fades n fades n eventually she’ll not b able to stand against azra anymore so the entire effort is running against time & she still has not known a single moment that was not steeped in the danger of war :^) shit that breaks u. but this is also how she meets jumie, ruthless reckless warrior who calls reina a b*tch 2 her face (not rly bc jumie does not curse. but the sentiment is there) they’re antagonistic allies to vibe check friends to lovers to partners for life & i promise they have a happy ending even if a few deaths have 2 b died along the way :’)))

#i refuse to use the read more function bc then i'd never stop talking #hav 2 limit myself 2 only b slightly obnoxious w how long my lore drops are lmao ur welcome !! #tysm for asking i hope this was somewhat coherent or interesting !! hav 2 skip over many many details n plot corners #reina is also a mainstay in the palace n she+sky have one of my alltime fav dynamics which wld b a whole post of its own #story for another time !! uwu #xivuuarath #askbox #oc asks

[vynnyal]

dumping my random thoughts, comic ideas, and wildly misinformed theories abt hk onto my victims: part 2!!! p clear what I was doing in some of these, lmao

btw if you have any input im very, super interested please feel free 2 share

"So who's the mother?" Grimm: "Mother? No, there was no mother." "Then how--?" grimm: "Mitosis, obviously." Cut to two panels of the person dissociating over what they imagine the process to be.

FUCKIN... ASEXUAL PRIDE GRIMM

Hornet yelling shaw instead of yeet or koby.

Hornet yelling git gud at inappropriate times in place of like... Actual Advice. Alt: jdghghf or when she gets nervous, as a distraction.

Her thinking of something cool to say while waiting outside the black egg temple. alt: her thinking so hard she almost misses her cue, making her flub; aka the reason she says somn more like "geddun" in-game. alt alt: thk and ghost sharing a blank look (mid-battle) and thinking "she flubbed" in disbelief.

Hornet and something with the "spidersilk paper" lemm mentioned, maybe using it to """document""" her day when she has time to spare. She insists it's not a diary, so don't even try.

Hornet grieving the little weavers.

(speedrun) "You wanna fight? Huh? Huh? Well I dont, bye"

Zote "I only saved you for the money" joke.

Quirrel pretending not to understand modern slang.

Quirrel... Dad jokes... Holy shit

FUCKIN... DAD BOD???

conifer appearing in increasingly absurd locations.

Quirrel playfully commenting on the uh... "information"... The tablets display. alt: he can actually read it just fine, but is coy abt telling ghost what it says.

rather than just appearing, Quirrel and ghost walk through the archives together, the mood bittersweet.

Hollow knight passing the time in the black egg lightheartedly.

Wyrm and root trying to argue but the height difference just makes them both laugh.

ghost appearing before Root, expectant, only for them to slowly realize she doesn't actually... care about them. or any of the vessels, really. she expects them to do their duty, her claims of shame apparently not deterring her away from the fate they were created for. alt: she acts like that not out of any kind of malevolence, but out of pure ignorance. It doesn't occur to her how much it costs the little vessels... Or that they even have anything to lose, at all.

Cut to the future after the bad end, as yet another fragile vessel appears before the queen, far too late to save anyone now.

Godmaster traitor lord battle, ghost walks in looking very nervous. Traitor looks smug, asking if they're afraid (of him), only for the next panel to show ghost sweating profusely as they have Fragile Flower Flashbacks. alt, they're imagining/being pressured by the ghost girlfriends glaring at them/wailing "WAIIII" in tendem.

Ghost asks how thk got so big, only for them to reveal their body is still the same size, and they're just controlling a big suit of armor like false knight. Jdbfjfgjr

its been pointed out the bee knight doesnt... actually have any wings to buzz with. the noises are entirely vocalized. The reason buzzy baby makes buzz noises is because he felt left out when he was a kid; the queen, seeking to comfort him, explains how he can create his very own buzz sounds using an alternative method, instead. Despite his battle prowess, his mind never matured, continuing up to his very last moments to make the habitual noises of his childhood.

(godmaster) having soul left over and fuckin SCREAMING in the faces of the nail masters just before the bench.

Defeating bee boy by one mask, relaxing for a sec, before realizing the bees are stILL COMING ACTUALLY,,,,

The aftermath of the sheo fight, ghost just DRIPPING with rainbow-colored paint.

ze'mer and her lover meeting in their dreams.

flower lesbos hanging out with the thorn husbos (nailmaster/sheo hfshh)

Team cherry hid the gays behind some of the hardest missions because, let's be honest, no homophobe would put that much effort into anything.

Quirrel saying "I've only had ghost for a day, but if anything happened to them I'd -" Cuts to ghost, shade over their body Quirrel: "..."

Messing with the hot springs... geysers? Idk 3 heads things. whats in there? How were they made? By the ancient civilization, maybe pale king? alt: finding quirrel relaxing casually inside one of the eyesockets instead of in the spring, lmao.

"I'd sure like to be a shade, like heck- they can fly, they can do that weird teleport thing, and they have-", turns to it, "- ALL MY MONEY!!!"

Ngl I still don't fully understand the relationship between ghost, their shell, and their shade, and should prolly read up before blabbing, but what is it that separates ghost's body from their shade? Or their shade from ghost, themself? We see in the dnm ending they can very much "control" their shade, as they voluntarily rip off their shell to release it. Or... Oh shit am I dumb? Did ghost kill themselves right then? Oh fuck did ghost die to let their shade kill the radience. Please tell me I'm wrong I'm really upset now yfjfihrufhgi

Gonna be honest the previous one was me trying to contextualize the concept of ghost being able to fly like shades do but now I'm just thinking abt ghost, fuck. Still. Imagine ghost n thk just, like, hovering towards people with their funky tentacle legs. Or better, no tentacles, they can just Do That. Establish your dominance, little vessels.

Ghost doing the superman "ripping off your shirt to shift into super-mode" thing except they just tear apart their shell. Alt: hornet: "that looks painful"

Broken vessel was stuck. Out of all the dead vessels we see- the one in greenpath, those hung in nosk's den, the floor of the abyss, even ghost themself- not one retained their body after death. Except, that is, for broken vessel. Something, somehow, was anchoring their shade to their shattered shell and keeping it there, unable to seep away and reunite with their siblings below. They weren't just another corpse. That was ghost's sibling.

Just what is a vessel's coak? From what I've seen of the sprites, it's clearly attached to their shells; some in nosk's den are even hung from them, with their shells dangling below it. It seems biological- by which I mean, not some sort of clothing or ambiguously god-based substance- which makes its selective decay rather odd. On one hand, in greenpath, nosk's den, and some specific corpses within the abyss, their cloaks have stayed firmly attached. On the other, we have countless shells left naked all over the place- even ghost's shell is like this. Of course we have to keep in mind ari prolly just didn't wanna animate that, but that's no fun. I don't really have a prompt or theory here, as nothing I come up with quite fits the bill... Just more of a thinkpiece, I suppose.

Nyooming past quirrel at blue lake, freeze frame of ghost and q sharing a startled look.

Ghost distracting sheo by making him gush over his artwork. alt, "winning" the battle by showing him something they made, and/or just having a paint-off. Ghost wins no matter what, obviously.

Ohhh... Ghost learning to express themselves through art...

Lurien secretly has multiple eyes, fit neatly in the one socket.

Appreciating the genius of the mimic grub room (the real grub's location is hard-coded. im still mad)

Hearing Hornet say "get down" instead of "git gud" and the connotations of that. alt: hearing "git gud" when she's actually saying "get down", being offended or otherwise reacting to that, before being promptly smacked in the face by whatever she was warning them abt.

Hornet doing weird, obscure spider things.

Ghost: WHAT is THAT?? uumuu: uumuu emoji face

Where does the shade get its sword? Is it a void-sword? Did they scavange it? Did they make it???

The actual guttural horror of falling into the centipedes in deepnest.

The irony of feeling incredibly sad and hurt at thk's pain, but absolute bloodlust for pure knight.

What was written upon the journal found with the corpse in ash at hollownest’s edge. Alt: h. how did ash even get up there.

#blabbing.txt #Thonking abt hollowknight #FDhbfjfhf I had to cut this post in half #Only true chads make long texts posts on mobile and of them I am king #Sorry abt the angst lma o.... idk whether to include them r not #I am so melodramatic and idk how not to be help

[phobiadeficient]

A punishing B by making him wear a remote controlled vibrator? (Speeding bullet or spy/engie please! Also I love your work :) )

i want you guys to know that like the majority of the time when y'all go “this pairing or this one, shrug emoji” i literally just like. coin flip abt it. i don't even have an app i just google “coin flip” and just pick like Any option from the list. that's the brand of messy bitch disease that we have going on up in here. anyways here's your porn like a month late anon sorry

-

Spy didn’t even realize how hard he was clenching his fists until he heard the leather creak and realized his knuckles were aching.

To be honest, he’d half expected it to be more of an endurance thing. That it’d get turned on and he’d just be expected to ride through it until the Engineer was good and ready to end his silly little game and get on with it. But that didn’t seem to be the direction things were going in.

Because first of all, the Engineer was fiddling with the remote for the thing every few minutes, switching up rhythm and speed and force what seemed to be entirely at random.

And second of all, it had been—and he hadn’t even been checking his watch, wasn’t entirely sure, but it felt like hours, and had probably been at least forty minutes of this, and he wasn’t even looking at Spy all that much besides cursory glances every now and then before promptly returning to what he was working on—the sketch on a blueprint, it seemed, something that required an amount of focus.

He’d started this little game pretty cocky, because he was good at this sort of thing, at ignoring physical urges and keeping a cool head in situations that other people would be entirely distracted by. But some combination of all of this, of the sensation plus the presence of his lover plus the pressure of it being some kind of game, plus the fact that the aforementioned lover was ignoring him plus the idea crowding into frame that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t read the game correctly and something else was going on, well, it was pulling him apart.

He’d started out with good posture and nonchalance and a smirk that he damn well knew was charming and could send shivers through anyone he chose, composed and flirtatious and unaffected. But forty minutes in, his posture had crumpled, and he was sweating and overheated, his shirt clinging to his skin, his pants entirely uncomfortable, his knees trembling a little bit.

The only thing the Engineer had told him to do was get his clothes back in order and to keep his hands up above the table. And he’d glanced up exactly twice when Spy had moved them, once to adjust his tie and once to tug on his mask to make it sit a bit more comfortably. He knew he wouldn’t get away with sneaking them below the table to make himself more comfortable in any sense of the word.

He stared hard at the Engineer, and the Engineer didn’t even look at him.

He broke somewhere around minute forty-five.

“How much longer is this going to take?” he asked flatly.

He hummed. “Probably somethin’ like an hour or two, haven’t blocked out much besides the general shape,” he replied, tapping some part of the blueprint for emphasis.

Spy clenched his fists. “That isn’t what I meant,” he deadpanned.

The Engineer looked up at him, finally, and Spy felt all the more aware of what a mess he probably looked like. “Oh, right,” he said, as if he’d forgotten, even as he clicked a button and the rhythm shifted again, making a muscle in Spy’s jaw shift. “Well. Guess that depends on a couple of things.”

“Such as?” Spy asked, voice tight.

“You sayin’ you give up?”

He wasn’t entirely sure why the Engineer phrased it like that, only that doing so made him immediately shake his head, maybe a touch too quickly. The Engineer nodded, and returned to his work.

Five minutes passed before a Spy spoke again. “Dell, what exactly is the point of this game?” he managed through gritted teeth.

“Not sure what you mean, darlin’,” he hummed, drawing a line with precision and care using a ruler.

“I’m getting extremely frustrated,” Spy said outright.

“Mm-hmm,” Engie hummed.

“I would very much like to get to whatever happens next,” he said, even more outright, stressing his words.

His focus was swimming so much that somehow he hadn’t noticed the Engineer’s other hand drifting to take hold of the remote again, first and foremost feeling the vibrations cease altogether.

A breath of relief as for a few wonderful moments he thought that the Engineer was moving things along. But after a few seconds, a minute, two minutes, Spy felt confused.

The Engineer looked up at him, adjusted his goggles. “Want me to turn it back on?” he asked calmly, coolly.

The frustration flared back up in an instant. “I want for you to touch me,” Spy all but snapped.

“I know you do. But you don’t get that yet. So do you want me to turn it back on?” he asked, and underneath the calm in his tone and the softness of his voice was a hard edge that sent a shiver down Spy’s back, made him swallow hard.

He hesitated for only a few seconds before he nodded. His head fell as the toy turned back on, thrumming to life and setting his nerve endings aflame.

The short break made the sudden flood of pleasure all the more potent, made him have to fight not to make any kind of noise. And even then he exhaled shakily, eyes screwing shut hard, heartbeat thrumming.

A minute or so later he was already feeling that desperation creeping back into view, making him wish he could at least lower his hands to undo his belt to get a little more comfortable. But even just flexing and curling his hands to try and distract himself gained the Engineer’s attention, his head tilting just slightly for a moment towards him until the movement stopped.

“When will this game be over?” he finally snapped, working hard to keep his voice filled with annoyance and not pleading.

“That depends,” was the level, easygoing reply, and a click, and the rhythm of the toy shifted again, making Spy bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to stay quiet.

“On what?” Spy demanded.

“On whether you’re gonna behave,” Engie said, turning his head to look at Spy.

Alright, he knew this one. “And what exactly is it that you want me to do?” he asked, voice dropping to a purr, even if it was a little unsteady, a little breathless.

The Engineer hummed, started tidying up his workspace a little, putting pencils and rulers and erasers back where they belonged. Once it was reasonably tidied, he looked back over. “I want you to quit mouthin’ off so much to the team,” he said, and Spy blinked.

He laughed incredulously. “You can’t be serious,” he managed. “All of this over—“

“You’re bein’ a real menace,” the Engineer interrupted, cutting Spy off cold. “Usually it’s just a snide comment here and there, but lately you’ve really been hitting the team hard. Makin’ a damn fool out of everyone, belittling people—hell, I’d call it outright bullying. And what you’re gonna do now, after tonight, is stop that.”

“Or what?” Spy couldn’t help but challenge.

“I guess you’ll see,” he shrugged.

Spy huffed. “Am I supposed to be scared?” he teased.

The vibrator shut off.

He blinked. Shifted. Held eye contact even as his eyebrows furrowed.

There was a long pause before the Engineer spoke, and when he did, he was still casual, conversational even. “That was a bit rude, darlin’. Ought to apologize,” he prompted.

Spy sneered, even as he shifted, weighted his options. Ultimately, his head didn’t win out. “Fine, I’m sorry,” he said, flippant, only to become significantly less flippant as his apology was rewarded with the toy being switched back on.

Then the Engineer was standing up, rounding the table. Spy turned to meet him, but was flipped right back around again, wrists pinned to the tabletop with one hand, the Engineer’s broad chest pressing into his back and trapping him even further in place. “You sorry for makin’ fools of the team?” he asked.

Spy managed to gather his thoughts enough to consider his options. “...And what do I get if I apologize?” he prompted.

“You’ll see,” the Engineer said.

“And if I don’t?”

“You already know that one,” he said, meaningfully turning the remote around in his free hand.

Spy scowled. “Ugh. Oui, I’m sorry.”

The remote was placed on the tabletop—within his reach, although he’d never be able to grab it with his wrists pinned—and the Engineer’s hand trailed down his abdomen and to his pants, and made quick—if slightly rough—work of getting them open. He sighed in relief, extremely pleased with this turn of events, even if the Engineer didn’t touch him much beyond that. Just that much was a blessing.

“You sorry for acting like an ass to everyone?” the Enginner prompted.

“Oui,” Spy answered easily enough, not much meaning behind the words, more easily giving over into the pleasure once the pressure and immense discomfort of his pants was resolved.

His reward was the Engineer helping him pull his pants a little way down his legs, freeing him outright, and he gave a gaspy little noise at it, rocking forward slightly when he was able.

“And are you sorry for being so damn mean?” the Engineer asked next.

“I suppose,” Spy joked.

Silence, stillness. “I beg your pardon?” the Engineer asked, squeezing his wrists slightly, almost threateningly.

“If it moves along the game, then I suppose,” Spy teased, trying to glance over his shoulder.

The Engineer was quiet for a moment, then he was moving—except he was pulling Spy’s clothes back on, movements rough.

Spy was shaken from the euphoria, blinking, startled as he realized what was happening. “Oh, come on. Don’t you want to move on from this ridiculous game?” he tried, a little frustrated.

The Engineer moved the remote out of reach and released Spy’s wrists long enough to do his pants back up, absolutely no care or gentleness in the motion.

“Ow, ow! Dell!” he yelped, indignant. “Fine, fine! I’m sorry!”

Stillness again. He steadied himself with a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I apologize,” he repeated, tone uneven, well shaken.

“Good,” the Engineer said quietly, and moved to undress him again. Spy only got to relax for a moment, though, before he spoke again. “But if you’re gonna misbehave like that, I might need somethin’ to help me...”

Spy was left alone for only a moment, only long enough to have an internal argument about whether he was allowed to turn around and see what was going on. Then his arms were being pulled behind his back and tied together, and this time both of the Engineer’s hands were free to torment him.

They traced meaningfully up Spy’s chest, left somewhat vulnerable when his arms were tied. “You said you were sorry for being so mean to everyone?”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” Spy nodded, too keyed up to argue the point again, and was rewarded with his tie being pulled off and his jacket and dress shirt being undone and left to hang open.

A moment’s thought from the Engineer, tracing over his undershirt. “The suits themselves are expensive, but not so much the undershirt and all that,” he said, only partially a question.

Spy nodded hesitantly, distractedly.

In one motion, he siezed the undershirt in both hands and ripped it clean open.

Spy cried out, alarmed, before he realized what had happened and relaxed again, muscle by muscle, heart absolutely pounding as the moment of fear resolved itself as absolute lust in the aftermath, his face heating up bright red.

“You gonna keep acting like a damn menace to the team?” the Engineer prompted, hands smoothing up Spy’s freshly-bared chest.

He swallowed hard. “Dell, please. I would like for this game to be over,” he said, voice breaking a little bit as his desperation reached its boiling point.

“That’s not an answer, doll.”

Spy steadied himself with a deep breath. “Fine. Yes, I’ll be civil.”

“You’ll be good?” he was prompted, and he shivered bodily.

“I’ll be good,” Spy agreed, head hanging.

“Prove it. Say please.”

The flood of conflicting emotions resolved as a kind of overload, his arms starting to tremble a bit. “Please,” he said, terribly quiet.

The toy shut off.

Spy immediately began to struggle against his bonds. “Oh, come on, I said it, I said I was sorry, I apologized, I-I said please, what more do you want from me—?!” he began to protest, outright desperate.

“Hush, hush,” the Engineer was quick to say, urging him to stand, to bend over the table. “Toy just ran out of power is all, darlin’, you did good. You did real good.”

Spy couldn’t quite bite back his moan as the toy was pulled free of his body and set aside, and god, it looked so small there on the table, and yet it had pulled him apart so effortlessly. “Dell,” he managed, voice shaky but still full of warning.

“I know,” he said, voice teasing, and then Spy was full again, this time of three thick fingers, gloved and slick, and any further complaints were pushed right out of view as he was pushed back open and slicked back up. “Think you can hold out long enough for me to get in?”

Spy had to think hard about it, could only distantly register his own heaving chest for a few moments. “I—I am not, sure,” he managed between panting, and cried out sharply as he got the first firm touch of that night in exactly the right place, and after so long of teasing it was almost too much for him to handle, too much pleasure making his toes curl in their shoes. “I-I-I—“

He was gently shushed again by a hand petting over his back, and his fingers moved softer and more slowly from then on, drawing out his pleasure in gentle throbs rather than in lightning bolts, a tide on the shoreline instead of being hit by a truck or three.

He wasn’t entirely sure that he was making sense anymore, could feel words exiting his mouth and could hear them being said, but he couldn’t process them on any level. He just heard the Engineer responding to them with praises and affirmations, and it drew him up higher and higher.

“Dell, please,” he managed, fighting hard to say it through the haze he’d fallen into, voice wavering.

“I’ve got you, doll, I’ve got you,” he assured, and then the Engineer reached around in front of him to tug him off, also so gently, so aware of how close he was to being entirely overwhelmed, and when he finally came it took him a few moments afterwards to remember how to breathe.

He was a model teammate in the following few days, at least until he was sure that the Engineer had probably had enough time to charge that toy again.

#//engiespy #//bondage #//teasing #//powerplay

[megalodon-writes]

haikyuu matchup pls? INTP-T and slytherin, i’m 5’2-5’3 ish. cancer but lowkey virgo stereotype. chill person overall but i have trouble socially as i’m painfully blunt and i tend to make offhanded remarks w/o meaning to, and i’m slow to open up about myself. i RLY dislike discussing personal topics. i still try my best to be nice & patient w others and i have a deep fear of negative judgement. overly critical when it comes to myself & ppl i’m close to but i rly just want the best for everyone.🐀

i’m a demisexual girl. i love to bond over topics of shared interests, i literally LIGHT UP when i nerd out abt a game or sth i’m into & it’s extremely embarrassing. i’m often told i’m level headed even tho i have severe anxiety. therapist friend but talking bout feelings/emotions drains me, i prefer intellectually stimulating ones. i have a passion for anything STEM. also am into some anime & video games (mostly visual novel & strategic). pretty lazy but i’m quite overachieving & ambitious. 🐀as far as looks go i’m asian & i have wavy black side swept hair and i wear glasses (my prescription is just horrible since i sit by my computer and code everyday for hours at a time). uh larger than average bust i’m embarrassed of. alternative/punk-ish fashion style. i’d say i’m pretty smart academically as i’m taking AP calculus as a HS freshman so um free math hw help! however i don’t have an ounce of common sense or street smarts. thanks so much!!! 💞💖 🐀

RAT I used to have pet rats. 10/10 emoji use. Also you sound so cute oh my goodness!! Thank you for asking!!

I match you with Kei Tsukishima

I sense an enemies to lovers situation.

The first time you met him and Yamaguchi you just happened to constantly roast Tsuki. Yams thought it was hilarious but Tsuki was so annoyed that he hated you… but I mean you hated him because he definitely wouldn’t help your fear of judgement

Then one day he and Yams were talking about a game and the three of you ended up geeking out about everything and anything

You two started liking each other after that bc let’s be honest… we all love when someone is passionate

He’s a very smart person too so you two have study dates together! Or, at least you two can help each other

People are impressed that your grades are even better than they were before

He’s really into the fact that you code. C++?? PYTHON? Honey he’s all over that. also if he doesn’t know he’ll want you to talk about it so he can learn plus he thinks it’s cute when you get really excited

He would definitely roast you and tease you all the time. Especially if it was over some dumb thing like saying the wrong word, stuttering, making a weird sound

I feel like the two of you would help each other not be so ‘rude’... like two negatives = a positive

Though, not that positive 

He’s a foot taller than you  👀👀

You two both have anxiety and low self esteem - so you know how to comfort the other without talking too much about things - though you have had nights where you just cuddle and express every feeling… but then you both sleep in the next morning because it’s exhausting

Honestly, I’m getting the vibes that quality time is how you two love to express how you feel

okay side thing though - he finds you absolutely beautiful. Like breathtakingly so. He loves everything about you physically and he’s honestly surprised that he found someone to bond with as much as you two have yams has nothing on you

#Tsukishima #haikyuu #matchups

[crowsent]

Can you explain the color switch technique for theater more clearly? I'm going to audition for our high school play and I want a reliable way to act without having to relive my worst memories.

dunno when exactly you sent this anon, but i hope i havent responded too late.

SO. the colour switch technique. dunno if its an official name or whatever BUT its essentially used in theatre or really in any other scenario where you have to lie or assume an emotion that you’re not currently feeling. essentially, you have to play a role. but since you said youre auditioning for a play, we focusin on the theatre aspect of it.

the most common thing i see or hear people do when they need to play an emotion that they just aren’t feeling at that moment, is to think of a personal event in their lives that elicits that specific emotion. it WILL work, or at the very least, elicit a strong emotion that pushes you to make your scene more believable and more alive. now thats great if the memory or event is a happy one. thinking of the first time you ever held your baby sibling, or that time you had your first kiss, or that day your parents surprised you with a new car. genuine happiness, or the memory of genuine happiness can work wonders to make a scene look and feel organic.

but if the emotion is negative, its going to absolutely DECIMATE your mental health.

no matter how much you think that ‘its just for a scene’ or that it wont actually affect you when youre off the stage, using the “relive memory to recreate emotion” method can and will fuck your mental health sideways with a chainsaw. its BAD for you to constantly think of painful or sad memories. there’s rehearsals, the actual performance, and worse, memories of the play itself. associating the memory of a tragic accident or a bad fight to a scene of a play youre participating in IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

i did theatre back in highschool. my depression at that stage was also. uh. particularly bad. so the whole “relive traumatic memories to experience pain so you can act better” is TERRIBLE advise. dont listen to anyone who tells you to do it. it WILL negatively impact your mental health AND your memories of the play, and may even discourage you from participating in future plays yourself.

but you still need to find a way to channel those emotions.

in comes colour switch theory. or technique. whatever its called. my theatre directors were GODDESSES. they recommended this technique to EVERYONE and it WORKS.

the trick is to associate a particular colour with a particular emotion, or even facial expression. when you need to keep a stoic face, you picture the colour in your mind and chant it in your head over and over to not break character. when you need to be sad, just repeat the colour you chose for sadness over and over to get yourself in the mindset WITHOUT hurting your mental health. for me, some of the colours i chose were:

blue- sadness/loneliness

red- anger

black- nothingness

grey- fear

there are more, but lets focus on these four. blue is my favourite colour. but thinking of the colour blue it doesnt automatically make me sad, so i can still enjoy it when im off stage. to channel the emotion of sadness or loneliness that i tied with the colour blue, i think of sadness from inside out and her blue motif. i think of the blue colour commonly depicted for tears. i think of cold and i think of a single person all alone, curled up in a blue room, crying.

just talking about this made my body curl up when i was writing that paragraph. i am shaking, and i feel sad, but when i stopped thinking about that imagery, it stopped. because its not a painful or traumatic memory for me, i can just yeet the blue emotion imagery away from me when i dont want it. you cant do that with personal memories and thats what makes the colour switching strategy so good. you can act better but you dont have to hurt yourself to do it.

think of it as constructing a bubble in your head, or a room you go to when you need to feel something. for anger, i think of a red room. i think of that red emoji with the brows scrunched up and the teeth gnashed together. i think of being so angry you lose words. i think of being red-faced because you just cant control it. conveniently, anger from inside out is also red, so i can think of him too. i think of fire in my veins, hot and ready to explode with nowhere to go but loud, violent screaming. and as im writing this, i can picture myself on a stage just shouting at whoeever has done my character wrong.

same goes for black and grey. black is just when i need to keep a straight face. when i need to be stoic or unimpressed. and its just a black room. nothingness. i sometimes picture that black room in real life when i have to not laugh at something funny if the timing is inappropriate, or when i have to keep a strong facade when i want to cry. i picture that room of nothingness and my mind goes blank. and i can keep a stoic face. the grey room is fog and shadows just in the corner of my eye. its something closing in that i cant see because of all the grey swirling around me. i dont know if im alone. i dont know if i am safe because i can only see a foggy room.

all in all, mentally travelling to a room in your mind created for the express purpose of eliciting a specific emotion is better than just retraumatising yourself. and its really simple to create these rooms. you dont even have to use the same colours i did.

maybe you have more trouble with expressing lovey dovery emotions. you can make red your love room. think of red flowers on valentines day, the red heart decals you see on store windows, the red box of chocolate youd give to a lover. red is passion, red is life, and you can associate things like that with your red room if you want. its like a venn diagram. things you associate with red on the left, things you associate with the emotion on the right, and the things they have in common can be used to construct the imagery of the emotion colour switch room.

then you can just chant red red red in your mind and you think of the blush on the fair maidens cheek as her knight comes to rescue her. you can think of a scarlet dress dazzling everyone in the room, but the wearer only has eyes for one man. you can think of lipstick stain against a collar.

you can associate any emotion with any colour. my process was:

pick a colour

pick an emotion/facial expression

picture a small room in your mind

fill that room with things or imagery that match your emotion or expression

be as specific or as generic as you want

you can have a green room dedicated to irritation or envy or just the loose feeling that youre not completely happy. the reasoning can be just bc you thought of the phrase “green with envy” and thought itd be neat. green can be a mother experiencing the joy of holding her child for the first time because green=nature=nurturing=mother.

establish a connection with that colour. fill out your room and create the keyword to get in. im very unoriginal so my keyword was just chanting the colour name over and over in my head. if i say blue enough times i get sad, even if i dont picture the room bc my mind has formed a link to that state of being. and i can break away without much trouble bc the connection is just on the surface.

colour switch is hair chalk. reliving memories is hair dye. at the end of the day, both of them colour hair. but you can wipe off the hair chalk w relative ease but a thorough hair dye that produces vibrant colours cant easily be removed, even when you want to switch to a different colour, or maybe even lose the dye completely.

i would recommend picking an emotion or expression that youre not good at portraying, but dont struggle with as much for your first room. i am not good at expressing sadness, but im worst at expressing upset or anger. so when i first started my colour switch mindset room, i started with sadness. it helps me express an emotion that im not particularly good at expressing, while still being relatively easy for me to get the hang of. maybe try for the second or third worst emotion you express, build a room to channel that emotion, and establish your connection.

make it a well-tread path, essentially. first few times are gon be difficult, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. all i need now to fake-cry is picturing the blue room, saying blue a bunch of times, and making a face. then i cry. completely fake and not damaging to my health.

i hope this makes sense for you. if it doesnt, feel free to send in an ask with more detailed questions abt the parts youre confused about or anything else. same goes for anyone who happens to read this that has an interest in theatre. id rather answer a dozen asks of the same question than have any of yall do something so harmful to your mental health. if anything was at all confusing, please feel free to tell me and ill gladly clarify some more. stay safe and take care of yourselves. and to the anon who asked, i hope your play goes well

#crowsas answers #theatre

[mooosicaldreamz]

please do a song by song review of lover i beg u

oh......u didn’t have to beg!!!! i’ll give it to you 4 FREE.

I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED: what i enjoy about this song is that it is fun and not especially mean, just like, shrug emoji. i think sometimes when ur in a relationship that is not especially amazing and you reach the point where you forget that you dated someone is the funniest thing and its such a strange moment. it’s a good tonesetter for the album, bc its so fun and chill and like, whatever. it has the same energy that i think we are never getting back together wanted to have. i LOVE the “i just forget what they were” breakdown. what a fun, bouncy song. easy listening to start the album. calvin harris rip.

CRUEL SUMMER: i love jack antanoff vERY much and have liked his work with fun. and as bleachers, and i think his production on lorde and taylor’s albums has been so wonderful. this song just reeks of him and it’s so like, ascendent, how it builds up and up into the chorus. i think it’s interesting that she reaches so high on the chorus. “summer’s a knife/i’m always waiting for you to cut to the bone/devils roll the dice/angels roll their eyes.” the breakdown is once again wonderful abt crying in the back of the cab on the way back from the bar - i feel like this album and its concept brings a much more natural version of taylor that i think has largely (and perhaps rightfully, considering the evolution of her fame and craft) been in hiding since probably red but maybe even since speak now. “I LOVE YOU AIN’T THAT THE WORST THING YOU EVER HEARD // HE LOOKS SO PRETTY LIKE A DEVIL” while she’s screaming it is more exuberant than ANYTHING on 1989 or rep (and i love both of those albums). 

LOVER: i love how sleepy soft this song is, i love how simple it is, and it’s made me cry like, six times. the wedding band sound is just, so fun and beautiful. it really makes me feel like i’m drunk, happy, and dancing really slow on an emptying dancefloor. i’m going to assume that was the vibe. it’s so soft. god it feels like a cloud. i enjoy how simple the lyrics are in this song, and how the words get to breathe and simmer. they take on a lot of meaning bc of how much space they’re given by the echo and by pacing. it’s so nice. i’ve gone back and forth on whether i like the wedding vows thing, but i think it might be nice. i love “swear to be overdramatic AND TRUE! to my lover”

THE MAN: the bumpy sound of the bass beat is really fun, and i think the song is a good bop, but it doesn’t say anything i don’t already know - but i think taylor bringing up the back end on the Woke train, trying to reach all those people who still aren’t totally sure about the gays or feminism but also think trump is terrible and are now reconsidering their life choices is a fine enough goal for her social justice initiatives. also i just realized she says “getting bitches and models” which she already does, you don’t have to pretend taylor

THE ARCHER: this song is sonic perfection the rolling synths the dreamy voice, the awful awful breakdown at the end of “they see right thru me / can you see right thru me / i see right thru me” “help me hold onto you” i just ... can’t handle this song. it’s perfect. i like the implication throughout this album that taylor is in Love, the big real kind, and i support her and joe bc i think it’s obvious their relationship has totally like, taken her to a new and good emotional space. anyway i like the implication that taylor fell in real, big Love and realized that love is still a fucking mess, like it doesn’t solve all the problems. “ALL OF MY HEROES DIE ALL ALONE” i mean come on. i hate her

I THINK HE KNOWS: this song is a bop “i think he knows his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine” is a stn move. the rumbly noise in the chorus and the synthy breakdown is a beast, it owns itself. there’s a real comfortable self-confidence that i, once again, maintain has been missing from taylor’s music up until now. also that moaning noise distracts me every time. “hand on my thigh/we can follow the sparks/i’ll drive” tAYLOR! inappropriate. i’ve seen some takes on this song that it’s not a fave, but it’s a fun song and people are wrong. there’s not one song on this album that i’m like this is bad in the way that i DO NOT like some songs on rep

MISS AMERICANA AND THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE: the first thing i thought when i heard this song is that it sounds like lana del rey. give it a re-listen, it does. sounds just like idk, “high by the beach” but it also rings a bell for me of electra heart era marina and the diamonds (like “teen idle”). i like this song a lot, even though it’s relatively oblique in my opinion on what it’s.....actually about. “you play stupid games / you win stupid prizes” is a great lyric in masterful taylor swift fashion bc it looks stupid when u write it on paper. i like the shouting breakdown thing that happens on the back end of the song with go/fight/win (OH I JUST GOT that, it’s like cheerleaders shouting). i’m a fan of it, but it’s an oddball on the tracklist.

PAPER RINGS: this song rings with a lot of red’s chaotic energies but with the adult sensibilities that she’s rolling with on this album. i love the sort of down-home shouty stuff happening on the verses, and the “kiss me once / kiss me twice / three times” bridge. it’s a good one. “i hate accidents/except when we went from friends to this” is a fun and good lyric. i LOVE the key change i LOVE the “wrap your arms around me baby boy” for some reason very much. 

CORNELIA STREET: i mean obviously this song is wonderful. i’ve seen much Discourse about this song being related to Kaylor which seems plausible. it’s clear that taylor wrote some of these songs in the present tense when they’re in the past, which i think is really interesting. i LOVE “jacket ‘round my shoulder is yours” what a good inversion of the phrase. i love the way that the phrase cornelia street breaks up the lines in a really weird way, because of how its syllables run. it’s a good song. it’s a soft boi

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS: early frontrunner for my fave song!!!!! love the opening repeating noise, and the simple guitar plucks initially. taylor’s voice takes up front and center bc it isn’t especially altered/layered/echoed like it is in some other spots on the album. it has an amazing rolling pace on its verses that’s followed by the slower pace on the chorus. “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be okay and they say i don’t know” i am certain that this song is about karlie kloss and i will not accept any other possibilities i know she said it was about a movie but i don’t care. “my hips my heart my body my love / tryna find a part of me you didn’t touch” wow taylor god what a gifted lyricist i hate her

LONDON BOY: this song is fun. “i saw the dimples first / then i heard the accent” i love the rising effect on “walking on the afternoon” resetting with the horns. it’s just a song that makes you bob your head. she does sound like she’s throwing out as many english references as she possibly can which is amusing and i don’t know what the legs are on this song bc of that - it could come across as somewhat kitschy. but! also i’d like to start some discourse bc i think it’s CLEAR that taylor isn’t afraid of using pronouns or even very direct references to who she’s with (this song is basically an I LOVE JOE ALWYN shirt), and it makes it even more clear when she’s avoiding using pronouns or direct description. the two songs before this don’t do that in the same way that this song does. 1989 barely uses pronouns at all. i’m just saying. taylor is bi is what i’m saying.

SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER: obviously this song is sad and it makes me cry i have no further commentary except that it’s a wonderful, simple song that has an excessively odd placement on this album following after london boy

FALSE GOD: this song is sexy! and interesting. the horns come back again, which is good and her voice is lower. honestly the line “the altar is my hips” is just..........a lot for me to compute. “i’m golden when you touch me / hell is when i fight with you” the bridges are really fun, sexy, soft. this song is like when lover ends and a song with a little more of a sultry feel comes on but ur still drunk so its a little sloppy.

YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN: obviously this song ruined my life. it sent me to the heights of elation and then i sort of had a hangover on it but i’m back around on it guys! it’s a fun, fun, summery song. that chorus with the oh-oh is just .... pop perfection. the bumpy synth noise that goes ba-duh-duh-duh like it’s reverberating is absolutely perfect for the pacing of the song. it’s excessively well-crafted to the point of slickness. it should have been the lead single but what do i know about anything

AFTERGLOW: i know that i wasn’t supposed to be into i pinned your hands behind your back but i was so. this is a continuation of the theme of like, i’m in love but i’m still a mess!!! sorry :) i like this song but it does not inspire me. 

ME!: i don’t know why the exclamation point is there and it sounds much more like a brendon urie song than a taylor song, but it’s fun! i don’t hate it! i can see why it was picked as a lead single - to really illustrate the tonal change from rep to here, but still. spelling is fun, tho.

IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND: this song is simple and so, so so sweet. i love the childhood friends to lovers narrative, and i just. like it. so much. it’s so sweet. and then obviously the horns come back for this one, but don’t overwhelm. this song is a good palette cleanser after the bombast of me!

DAYLIGHT: i tweeted about this but this song reminds me of clean and long live (particularly long live, it for some reason really sounds like that in my head). but i like that it really relates a feeling that i feel sometimes of like, my life was a mess and sometimes still is a mess but bc i’m in a stable and good relationship, things feel approachable, like, if everything goes wrong again, i’ll at least know for sure i have this, and i think this song sort of shows that off with the  “I don’t want to think about anything else.” it’s nice. it’s calm. i read an oral history today about the kanye storming the stage moment at the vma’s because it’s been 10 years since it happened - and i feel like this album and this song, in many ways, are a plateau on the meteoric catapult of taylor’s relationship with fame that really had started to run before that moment but certainly started rolling after that. i think this song is a demonstration of the growth that she’s gone through over the last ten years that we’ve all watched with such close attention. it makes me feel happy for her. i hope she gets to keep this the way it is. i’ve read that she thought for the longest time that this album would be called daylight and i’m honestly? not sure it shouldn’t be. but the vocal note at the end sort of draws it back thru.

it’s a good album. i think the back half of it doesn’t hang as tough all the way thru as the first half, but overall, i think it’s overall quality is better than reputation even though i think reputation, as a concept album, works very well. it’s a great evolution and a real, authentic thing. very impressive that she’s managed to produce four very different albums successively where as many artists don’t change that much from album to album. but i think that’s evidence of the work that’s gone into them, to be honest. death by a thousand cuts is my early fave.