#one more time i am going to cry

[matchandelure]

fhjmsdfhjglks feeling kind of frustrated at a lot of things

#sometiems i feel that maybe i set goals that are too ambitious #good grades in classes. internship prep. learning how to be independant and do adult stuff in general #working out regularly eating balanced meals getting enough sleep every night taking care of skin. overlall physical wellbeing #while also trying to make time for hobbies especially art... #ive been sucked into a rather strong loop of comparison.. bc i recentl ylooked through my old art when i went back home #and im so sad at how little ive improved. and i know that everyone learns and imrpoves at different rates #and i have more important things to focus on such as completeing this degree completely unrelated to art #but i dont want to go through the nexxt five years just.not improving at all at something i love so much :(( #but everyday this past almost two terms of school. i never finish the work i need to before i go to sleep #everytime i do finish everything its time to repeat the whole cycle all over again #and whne i do get time to draw im so tired that all i can amnage are some scribbles..which means my technical skills arent improving atall #bc i dont have the energy to study even ifi its something i love #which iguess ispart terrible self discipline which i need to work on but sometimes i just wnat to shut my brain off and doodle mindlessly #bc i dislike my program :((( eww math ewwwww compsci #and i want a distraction from it whenever possible because if i have to calculate the eigenspace corresponding to an eigenvalue of a matrix #one more time i am going to cry #im tired gnight #willows rambling branch

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[just-null-cult]

the way you drew kokichi .. i think im ascending to the heavens .. i see the light .. chest collapsing .. heartbeat flatlining ..

oho, a Kokichi enjoyer!! tysm!! it was my first time drawing him at the time so im glad i didnt fail him. i dont want to fail any of the kyoto group. i love them all!! even w my clear favoritism

he's nice too, a bit more expressive than Noritoshi so i can finally draw something that isnt :| or >:( even if it isnt by much- i like him too

I like how he's both a dick but also kinda sweet. He's a different flavor of tsun... i can use this. my knowledge on him is limited but FROM WHAT I SAW IN THE WIKI OH MY GOD???????? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! KOKICHI!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#muta kokichi #kokichi muta #mechamaru #kokichi muta x reader #mechamaru x reader #? i guess #double post lets go im tryna be as fast as lightning #woah a non noritoshi post... crazy....... #my hands feel tingly and weird #my blog is so yume centric that my one track mind made you a love interest right off the bat #fuck it. everyone's in love w you unless stated otherwise #congrats. youre a harem leader/protag now except i have a strong bias towards one guy unless asked abt someone else #AND I JUST FOUND OUT MORE ABT KOKICHI???? WHY AM I FUCKING CRYING????? DUDE WHAT THE FUCK #OH NO THIS IS NOT CORRECT.. IS THIS WHAT SHIBUYA ARC IS???? DUDE #IM GONNA RIP OUT MY HAIR. THIS CANNOT BE. I CANT FAWN OVER ANOTHER CHARACTER W SO LITTLE SCREEN TIME AND CONTENT GOD PLEASE #HE GIVES SO MANY VIBES..... LIKE FUCKED UP 'i'll sacrifice the world for you' VIBES AND ITS MAKING MY BRAIN KRCHAKKRCHAKKRCHACK #kokichi muta... another hidden gem.... wipes tear #we'll treat you right kokichi... sobs. there there

[lilgayalienn]

This is not a man who has made a plot against Rhaenyra to ruin her, oh no this is a man who drinks to tame the pain/lust all of the feelings for a woman he isn't supposed to want. He has done the deed and paid for the rumors to be spread, he should be happy. Daemon has the self-esteem to be a king, he has won wars, and he isn't going to let some knights or his brother treat him like he is lower than them, he has standards and now he lets the king beat him like he is a common dog. He could have gone to some whore exactly as Rhaenyra said but he didn't he went somewhere to hide and drink himself to death. There is way more in him, he knew he shouldn't have done this to Rhaenyra she even might hate him and maybe that's what he wants so they would not let each other have one another. Well, destiny is a destiny it has to happen and we have spoilers/ trailers so let's enjoy the ride.

#daemon targaryen #house of the dragon #house targaryen #house of the dragon ep 4 #rhaenyra targaryen #daemyra #daemon x rhaenyra #rhaenyra and daemon #daemon and rhaenyra #rhaenyra x daemon #all i am saying is that DAEMON LOVES RHAENYRA AND THAT'S A MOTHER FUCKING FACT SO THAT'S THAT #my guy drinks himself ha isn't that a cliche #i cant have this woman now i am going to drink and cry ahh #yeah well i understand your reasons very well and yet it could have been more for the two of you #i just want to see how they will react to each other next time they see one another #it could be cool if rhaenyra loathes him and he is puppy eyes i am sorry and the next this is they are kissing again n later is her wedding #let daemon be the malewife is is supposed to be and later watch the kids when rhaenyra takes her place as queen

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/" #i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want #but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care #i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now #i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit #i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do. #there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know #i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW. #i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends... #btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines #i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words #to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court #anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him #why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it? #they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out #way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone. #the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames? #something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey #I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now

[skitskatdacat63]

Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown

#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV #okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now #have been drawing them like its my god damn career #have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone #and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go! #BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL #I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR #*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these #yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had #i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :) #BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART #AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT #and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction' #and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL #i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic #like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening' #i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity' #and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn #if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor #UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them #im trying to be concise but i really cant #because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn #HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS??????????????? #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #2023 japanese gp #we do a little bit of f1

[mishkakagehishka]

"We're old moms, we can't wait to stop breastfeeding so we can get [very excited, shrill even] botooooox!!!"

We are never making it out of the patriarchy.

#every time i open instagram i see videos promoting botox for the moment you turn 20 and face lifts and plastic surgery #and skincare regimens that are not care at all but just fifty products to torture your skin (and spend money!!) #the ties between the patriarchy and capitalism that support one another are terrifying. #but not even that . i feel like i'm going insane #how did we in this day and age normalise so much of this shit #what happened to feminism... why am i seeing a man who works as a plastic surgeon #talking about ''when a client walks in and i know EXACTLY what she needs to change so i am able to get her to #sign up for four more procedures asides from the one she came here for ^_^'' i'm going to kill you. #beat you with rocks. do you guys know botox is a bacteria? do you guys know about botulism? #you throw away a can of food because it's slightly dented so you don't die from botulism #but you inject it straight into your forehead because someone told you signs you #lived a long life full of expressing your emotions guilt-free was what made you ugly #the way i see influencers who will call themselves feminists talk about those wrinkle-free straws... don't sleep on your side #don't breathe wrong don't crease your eyebrows don't smile don't cry don't drink from straws #you're all fucking insane. and wrinkles are caused by your skin losing elasticity. you will STILL have wrinkles #if you live long enough that is (<- can you see why it's a blessing?)

[scalpelsister]

finally going for 100% signalis. girl help.

#beautiful tall women are oneshotting me #im out of ammo #im out of health #im out of stun prods #its so jover.... #i cant even IMAGINE doing the boss fight that im approaching rn. its just the first one but bruh im going to die so much #but i gotta beat the game on the survival difficulty with the classic just six inventory slots AND die 11 more times #and i will win my 100% good grade in signalis trophy :) #ftr i play every game on easy mode #like im a coward whos bad at games #i am screaming and crying and throwing up rn #my post #signalis #< for me. sorry main tag people 😔

[goodfellowe]

happy twtt thursday!!! here’s a little collab @the-gigilefache-arthole and i did where they drew the sketches and i colored them… happy pride!! 🧡🤍💖🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

#obligatory these are not canon per se disclaimer here!!! but ouughghg i love them so much #gigi if u see this ive already gushed about this separately like billions of times but i really love these sketches #and i am always so insanely grateful an going nutty every time you pull up with something new 🙏🏾😭 THANKYOU for all of the love to twtt #<- throughout the years #and thankyou again for letting me color these… it’s like a lil coloring book and i definitely want to do more!!! #namely the one of timmy crying with shades on LOL #twtt thursdays #twtt posting #collab #ahit #a hat in time #hat kid #Hat adult #mustache girl #hatstache #timmy #bow kid #timbow #fanart #twtt spoilers #tb #tb posting

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello

IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......

#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut #origins smp #beeduo #beeduo fanart #idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk #actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was #only there for the first one😅 #i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹ #had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭 #ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

[tomfrogisblue]

I have finally finished O Segredo Na Floresta.

I have cried more than I thought possible.

And I fear I shall never be the same.

#i have discovered that however bad quarentena was - cellbit has tons more angst material ready to unleash when least expected #it was so so so good but my god - i have never felt more empty #you ever see a piece of media and think yeh this is gonna change the way i view certain things forever - yep. #but now i enter the ordem episodes that arent captioned and only have the youtube autotranslate - the final boss for my portuguese knowledge #cellbit #ordem paranormal #this post is sort of my proof to myself when i actually finished the bastard - this season was three billion years long i swear #and still so long to go #cellbit will continue to stab my emotions for many more hours to come!!! #it is very late at night and i am very sad. TIME TO START THE NEXT ONE :D #o segredo na floresta #enigma do medo #bro i need to yell at someone about the last like hour of the damn thing because i have many things to say. or maybe just cry some more #at least my portuguese is much better now lmao. I'll get to a point where i can just listen to an episode with no subtitles if it kills me!! #hopefully cellbit will be back on the qsmp soon to rip my heart out with a cute lil cubito delivering heart wrenching angst for some variety #qsmp #ok sleep time lmao

[chloeseyeliner]

oh my god.

i am never getting over young royals.

#like #ughhhh #it may sound weird or silly #but i woke up some hours ago #and i realised once again that it's over (i haven't watched the doc yet but the story is over) #and i loved it. i love it. i will love it forever. yes. #but #it was much more than a show #not only for me i know #just i for one 1. fully realised and embraced my identity through yr #2. had comfort and company during the worst times in my life #3. fell in love with the writing of all the characters and the acting and. EVERYTHINH #and i know it couldn't have been any other way the story was written for three seasons #but i believe i am allowed to miss all of the above and also the fandom #the fandom and their wonderful analyses and silly memes and everything in between #it's all so bittersweet #and i wouldn't have it any other way #<333333 #**imagine simon's song playing in the background** #thank you lisa ambjörn #and everyone #they are fucking stars #young royals #anyway #ignore me #i am almost twenty mourning the loss of my favourite show #as if it's not going to be there #(which is nothing to be ashamed of in general!!! i specifically am just embarrassing from head to toe) #disclaimer: i am on my ✨period✨ so naturally i have been crying at random times since yesterday

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#toronto maple leafs #HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET #like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because #my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul #you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that #i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of #Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i #have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m #gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the #coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl #anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren' #bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof #& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th #childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so. #ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get #to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse #but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu #the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea #& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much & #if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy #boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is #solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet #OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc #u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty #leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin #one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight #seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem #the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall #from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding #i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc

[lunarharp]

tsukigumi..

#takarazuka #just getting out something meek while the feelings are still pure... idk how to go about drawing real people any more lol #why was the show called that. well whatever #the like..Magic theme bamboozled me. i was fully crying with laughter at the school skit thing what in the goddamn. i just........... #everything reiko says and does is everything to me. i haven't thought about zuka for months but she still has me. #MUSUMEYAKU LIFT??? LIFT OF GIRL BY GIRLY GIRL?? #uh..what else..everything reiko says and does is everything to me. <- repeat of what i just said #her laughter like “ku ku ku” at one point. SHE IS SO FUNNY. I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER. #the way she loosened her tie and umi took off her glove in the duedan......i truly treasure the gentle unspoken sensuality in takarazuka... #umi was shimmering with joy and splendour.......AND MY MAN POCKY. MY MAN POCKY #never forget i am the world's number 1 pocky and pockyheart fan no matter how much time has passed #my whole personality has been witch hat atelier and takarazuka for several years. it makes sense i can only be obsessed with one at a time #from 2014 to 2022 it was entirely zuka. i've earnt my unhingedly emotional witch hat era

[crescentfool]

beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something 💙

#lizzy speaks #the human brain works in such profound ways i think #lately i've been thinking about that post that was like 'you will always be your oldest friend take care of yourself' #it's definitely a sentiment i agree with and i appreciate how it emphasizes the importance of extending compassion to yourself #you wouldn't say such hurtful things to your friends right? (or at least i'd hope so) #so why would you say it to yourself? #you are your own friend too. and i think everyone has a beautiful soul within themselves. nurture it! water it! feed it good thoughts. #basically i wish everyone a 'i hope that your brain is not your own enemy but rather a friend that you can find comfort in' #things will work themselves out with time. there's beauty in life and you will find small delights to cherish!! i am manifesting it for u!! #and for those who find it difficult to transition from a self-critical mindset to one that's more compassionate and nonjudgmental #i truly think that with time you will be able to rewire your brain to be kinder to yourself. i'm proud of you for taking any first steps :) #there are times in which it feels counterintuitive to go against habits that feel hard-wired... but brains are very malleable littel guys- #with such a wonderful capacity for changing and learning new things. so i hope everyone can learn to be their own best friend! #not to undermine the importance of a support network ofc. that's good too and im all for that!! but i hope everyone remembers to be kind- #not only to others but also to themselves!! you're going to do great out there!! i love you all!! #ive just been thinking about this a lot... i needed to get it out there. you all shine so brightly!!! we shall be fine!!! have a good week! #sorry if this is out of nowhere but if there's anything about me you should know it's that i'm the 'hey dont cry 8 billion people on earth- #ok?' post. idk i just find great joy in knowing others are out there thriving and finding a daily delight yknow i love humanity!!