#once mother always mother

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 245

Now Danny would openly admit, if only to himself, that he had a type when it came to relationships. If they were strong, if they were a threat to him, then chances were he would develop some sort of crush. It was how he had dated Sam and Valerie (And Johnny & Kitty) when he was a bit younger, and hell, Sam had technically succeeded in killing him, even if partly. 

Attraction towards smart people who could kill him was honestly par for the course for a Fenton or Nightingale anyway. 

And he’d also admit he enjoyed a bit of time travel, learning about times and culture long before his time, to the point that he could blend in in ancient times just as easily as the time he had been born in. That it was natural to mutter in a language lost to time. 

So color him surprise when another man perks up in the bar he had paused to get a drink in, vibrant green eyes gleaming in interest and responds in turn. And not just in the language, but able to keep up when he talks about things that once existed but haven’t been rediscovered yet. 

And one thing led to the other, and there might have been some assassins and some shenanigans that end with them both laughing together in an inn and then more and- Okay he has a type alright, and he’s ticking each box! How is that fair? 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Adult Danny #Ras is just as smitten and so sad whenever Danyal leaves #But Danny always returns & he’s explained he has to travel lest he go mad #Danny isn’t technically from the DC dimension but it’s his favorite & it has nothing to do with Ras #Is their relationship healthy? Definitely not but they’re morally grey immortals #Dusan asks about his mother first #Technically Danny isn’t his mother BUT he does take on parental role & as far as the kids are aware this death-being is their mom #Why look Dusan even has his hair- their logic is flawless #Talia tells Bruce her mother is gone & for YEARS he thought she meant dead #Ellie got her wanderlust from Danny & they all give off some sort of mystical fae vibes #deadly decisions #Space Core Danny #Moon Core Ellie #Sun Core Dan #Liminal Al Ghuls #Danny is Not ghost King #Technically he’s some sort of being of rebirth like some sort of cosmic phoenix #Am I saying long-haired Danny with feathers in his braid that shimmers from white to galaxy? Maybe #Batfam had no clue about Danny save for Jason #And they didn’t find out until Damian mentions Grandmother apparently visited once more #Let Jason & Damian be brothers #How many tags until tumblr deletes them I wonder

[hylialeia]

you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.

#I feel like the tragedy of viserys and dany is they really might have been close and loved each other normally of they'd been allowed to #barristan says viserys always seemed aerys's son but when has westeros had any sort of developed understanding of mental illness #dany knew him best and she said the last kindness left him when he sold their mother's crown #it begs the question how much kindness there would have been if they hadn't been children forced out on the streets #a brother dany says never forgave her for their mother's death giving her birth. #but who told her stories and brought her up while his own mental faculties were wearing thin #it doesn't feel like tywin keeping tyrion based on lannister name and blood alone #she loved him once. #that viserys had some inherent lecherous evil in him doesn't feel in line with that to me #it doesn't feel in line with dany please #if ned is the good guardian to tywin's bad one viserys was just a boy who found himself in that role under the worst possible circumstances #and who under duress of those awful circumstances and his own undiagnosed mental illness #(for which he never got any help or support) #failed his sister very very badly #leaving daenerys to feel the hole of his absence even when he was still alive #because she loved him. once #lol anyway! #asoiaf #daenerys targaryen #viserys targaryen

[vaguely-concerned]

listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

#I don't even know what I'm saying anymore folks please just. accept this. it makes no sense/compels me though etc. #dragon age meta #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #leandra amell #honestly someone should do an analysis of the mother figures of DA2 because oh BOY something is up here #elthina and all her talk of the chantry as a 'gentle mother' very much included #as I believe terry pratchett once wrote: #That's Nature for you in a nutshell. Always dealing off the bottom of the pack. No wonder they called her a mother.

[charlieconwayy]

Top 50 OTPs Of All Time ☆ #45. Paige Michalchuk & Alex Nunez

"I said you were nothing to me, which is a total lie, because right now, you're pretty much everything."

#degrassiedit #forbescaroline #palex #paige x alex #paige michalchuk #alex nunez #degrassi #50otps #i def don't ~love~ them like i did #but this was the first time i ever saw two girls kiss on television and GIRL.....life changed #sidenote degrassi's portrayal of paige's sexuality was annoying and lowkey gross but it got MUCH MUCH worse w miles #they will always be mothers to me and anything in lexicon of love owns my ass #like i think ab that caption quote at least once a month #paige had alex in such a chokehold like her power #* #gifs: degrassi

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary #bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it #so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences. #being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much #compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself #tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments. #tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts #could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably #and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist #but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think #this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines #and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before #it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person. #this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3 #we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically #p

[protectoratenova07]

Something something Doctor Mother being the only person in a crowd of bystanders to try and stop a young girl from doing something dangerous. Even when the girl ignored her DM refused to leave the girl alone and followed, being the only one to help her kill the monster. How she believed the girl when she was told of the situation despite how insane it was. How she helped despite also being told how dangerous it was.

And how later, when another young woman puts herself in harms way to stop another monster, Contessa is given the same opprotunity as Doctor Mother. Another young woman who's power is messed up so that she can't find the path out. But this time Contessa can.

#parahumans #worm #contessa #doctor mother #taylor being there when doctor mother died #never knowing that she was once the kind of person she wanted in a teacher #doctor mother saving the world #and how high school is often seen as the whole world for stressed out kids #contessa and taylor at the end of it all #with taylor wanting to die after being unable to see a way out #but contessa wanted her to live and how she can always see the way out #taylor hebert

[quietwingsinthesky]

i think river and amy try to do some sort of mother-daughter bonding exercise or trip or something exactly one time, and it goes horribly. it's the most uncomfortable thing they've both ever done, and that's saying a lot. they never try to do it again.

#river song #amy pond #doctor who #river has next level mommy issues. and amy has. amy is inventing something new honestly. #what do you even call it when your daughter is older than you and knows more about you and has never needed you in the entire time #that you've known her. hell you needed her more than she needed you. #but you both also know that there was a time she needed you desperately. and there's nothing either of you can do to fix that. #amy tried to shoot river in the face once to save the doctor. while she was pregnant with river. and river was a child being dragged around #in a spacesuit against her will. #and its just like. i think river remembers that. i think she does and i think she always will. her first real memory of her mother. #is amy trying to kill her while river is begging for someone to help. i think that stays with her forever. how could it not.

[multifandombullshitbabes]

(Context: im thinking abt my post canon au, i explained on my ao3, u dont even have to read it just know its there)

Mizu revealing her being a woman to taigen AFTER he confesses his feelings to mizu AFTER being bested during their duel once again is literally so fucking personal to me. Jesus fuck... FUCK. Like. How overwhelmingly loved she must feel. How SEEN. Truly for once n not just but loved and wanted!!! Its so personal to me. Just. Taigen, losing, n then immediately leaning in for a kiss. Mizu is lost cuz what?? Why?? N taigen just. Confesses, but hes holding back cuz mizus reaction was not great and he doesn't wanna ruin the friendship they've formed these past months, they've grown so close so fast n its scary but so exciting n so right but if mizu doesnt want this then nothing is happening n its ok he has a CHOICE. Like. FUCK!! N then mizu telling taigen to wait and that night she reveals it. And its just sooo fucking intimate. Its so soft. And maybe taigen is confused but one look at how small mizu is making herself, like shielding herself from him. Like he gets it. The danger of it all. And its his promise to protect her if she ever needs to that does her in cuz. SHE HAS A CHOICE. TO BE PROTECTED OR NOT. THATS SO IMPORTANT TO HER. Yes, she can protect herself. Yes, it feels good to be protected. Yknow??

Mizu revealing her being a woman to akemi totally by accident AFTER they just had an argument abt women's choices in society AFTER mizu accidentally took one (1) big sip of sake, n then deciding fuck it im gonna win this argument, guess what akemi. And that's how akemi finds out. N Mizu thinks akemi is going to hate her, n she does for a bit in silence, but mostly shes just hurt? For herself AND for Mizu. Cause she understands, so suddenly, so intimately, how hard being a woman is and how mizu has had to hide as a man to survive (not even for plot reasons that we know, mizu being mixed AND a woman? Death sentence). And she just hurts. And they thought they'd always have this weird rift between them but they cry and they let it out (for Mizu, for the first time in YEARS) and its just. Its so emotional n so important and so personal and intimate. Its maybe winter all over again, a year has passed since theyd seen each other in kyoto, so much has changed and yet not rly and. They've grown but in different ways. Akemi, in taking life by the reins n being assertive and strong and so dangerously intelligent like shes always been but now, now its crucial to be that. And Mizu in realizing that she truly, truly wants to be loved so badly but to be loved is to be vulnerable and thats what scares her the most, to be weak; but ure only strong if u can be weak too, and thats what she learns. And i think this is where they really get deep into their feelings. Before it was a crush, an annoying one. Now? Oh bby theyre down bad. Yes they are.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #taigen blue eye samurai #akemi x mizu #taigen x mizu #hey look i posted a thing #come get yall headcanons #love how once they become actual friends i feel like mizu n taigen would fall for each other so fast itd scare then #but akemi n mizu have more of a slowburn cuz they're both denying the possibility of being with the other person so its just daydreaming now #n then akemi n taigen actually just stay friends cuz i think its hilarious #they can unlock their true potential as chaotic besties now #ringo is just living his life btw. hes kinda lost rn my poor darling #itohs just like “i love my wife. wait is she fucking the onryo” proceeds to be confused and lost n “confronting” her with teary eyes #(he saw them smile at each other) #akemi just inviting him to the polycule like “can u be cool abt a lot of things real quick” #and it takes time to process but he eventually is just like. this. kind of rules. dont tell my mom i said that tho #always scared his mom is gonna find out abt thier shenanigans as if she isnt the mother of the shogun now shes got shit to do #(being the second choice always oof. oof oof. best bet im playing with thattt)

[painted-bees]

reading through your hinote tags it was interesting to learn that Raf still likes preforming and even misses playing large shows, but avoids getting sucked back into it. As an adult, you'd think he could just return to preforming on his own terms and play any stage he wants. Does a fear of success keeps him away from it? Sorry if this was already explained somewhere and I missed it.

Sssorta haha! He doesn't want to gain too much traction and attract media attention, because it'll inevitably liken his current career/his current self to his past...And almost none of the things he had said about himself, very few of the views he presented in interviews and such, none of it was really him, what he believed, what he liked, or how he, himself, wanted to be perceived. He likes playing the character on stage, but hates the notion of that character following him and being projected onto him in day to day life. On one hand, he doesn't want random people to see him and know him accurately--which is why the stage persona is so great. But on the other hand, the media personality his mother curated is too far removed from his own tastes and sensibilities, that it feels like an ill-fitting skin and makes him physically uncomfortable to be identified as and associated with it. Increased visibility as a performer would kinda force him to contend with that in a way he really would rather not. It's not worth it for him. AND he does not want to attract his family's attention. He doesn't want them contacting him about his career. He wants to be as tiny and invisible to them as possible.

Secondly, and more acutely, though--his symptoms after a show--any show--really suck. He gets nervous leading up to a performance, but it's usually perfectly manageable. He's normally in relatively good spirits about it. Then on stage, he gets a nice little thrill and the feeling of "man, yeah! I need to let myself do this more often!" But then, once the show is over, he's in the backstage bathroom vomiting, and spends the next week struggling to recover from a depressed hangover with 0 motivation, energy, or excitement for anything. He hasn't...figured out how to avoid this extremely consistent pattern. It's weird, because he feels fine during the performance, even if there's a break in between or some such. But as soon as it's properly over, the nerves hit him hard--and once the anxiety passes, he's just an exhausted, deflated, apathetic husk with a very, very low mood about it. That's what kinda keeps him off the stage, and prevents him from doing shows on any kind of consistent basis. He can only really commit to doing them if he's feeling really good about things--and if he can afford the inevitable "crash" week that always follows. If that were less of an ailment for him, he might be more inclined to at least humor the idea of reinventing his persona and returning to musical performance on a more serious/professional/consistent basis. Alas.

#when he was a kid the performance was always the easiest part to get through #The real stress came from the post-show criticisms lectures and...general fallout between him and his mother specifically. #it was never a celebration or a congratulation esp. as he entered his teen years. #The most nerve wracking/discouraging work began once the curtains had closed. #Almost 2 decades of that and the body just kinda...goes through the motions now #regardless of the fact that there are no post-performance lectures or 'practices' or what have you anymore. #Theoretically he COULD just relax and sleep after a show if he wants but lmao his brain hasn't caught up with that reality yet. #Hi-Note #Rafael

[vvitchering]

I’m replaying act 1 (for the fifth time) and when Gale is explaining his condition to you he mentions he’s “never told another living soul” about it, except for Tara. You’re telling me this man shut himself up in his tower for an entire year and didn’t tell anyone why and no one ever bothered to find out? He has so few people who care about him in his life that he fell into a depression and disappeared for a year and NO ONE thought to go and check on him and find out what was wrong? He’s had no one but Tara providing help and support until he meets Tav???????

#I’m just #this is my Astarion run but holy shit GALE #like no wonder he’s a little bit insane #how isolated has he been his whole life that he has no one but his cat who cares enough to take care of him #the way he speaks about his mother I thought they’d be pretty close but even she never found out about the orb?? #either she shrugged off her brilliant son turning into a depressed recluse or she never bothered to check on him at all #and tbh Gale might not even realize that’s Not Ideal #maybe he’s always been held at a distance by his family #I have hcs about this actually #anyway that fucked me up this time #the way he begs tav for help finding items to feed the orb like he’s fully expecting to be shot down and left behind #ughhhhhhh I am Upset about the wizard again friends #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #I didn’t even go into how Mystra also abandoned him at the same time #so he was going through a break up and a crisis of faith and being a human bomb all at once #🥲

[whywoulditho]

not saying the holocaust wasn't bad. but i need people to understand that it wasn't the only genocide that happened in the same period of world history. not because i want you to pay less attention to holocaust but because i need you to ask why it's the only one we ever talk about. it wasn't the longest occured massacre of a marginalized group, it wasn't the most gruesome, it wasn't the one with the most casualties, it wasn't the first and it wasn't the last one. i need people to think about why we didn't pay much attention to all the other holocausts after WWII that happened simultaniously and were just as horrible. it says so much about media, the news we are fed, and that our empathy is BOUGHT by the same people that keep funding genocides all over the world.

#i didn't grow up in the west- #-so everytime i watch a movie where the characters comically try to avoid saying the word 'nazi' because it's so offensive i'm like.... huh #how are you as an american suggest that being a nazi is the most evil thing a human can be but describe america as the land of the brave? #for many people hitler is the face of evildoing but every single european leader at the time engaged in similar activities #and this is not to say we shouldnt condemn nazis or whatever. god no #i get a lot of asks (some very rude by the way) from people who think i'm an antisemite because i'm... muslim? #dunno how yall think that makes sense but no. i learned about the holocaust from my very muslim mother. #who then gavw me anne frank's diary to read #holocaust has always been a topic we talked about at home. it had a lot tell about the western world #but we didn't have the same 'dont speak of it or you'll get cancelled' type of mindset #i believe that's because it wasn't the only genocide we learned and talked about #it holds so much weight in the western world because you think it's this very out of the blue thing that happened only once in history. #that tells even more about the western world #thoughts #freepalestine #free palestine #free congo #free sudan #free uyghurs #boycott israel

[essektheylyss]

my mom: did you once write something else that was too long?

me, thinking of the lengths of my fics:

#megs is writing #my mother is very funny she's so idealistic #'once' mother. did you mean always

[adhd-merlin]

what do we think of gwen calling her father "dad" in ep 1x03 and merlin calling hunith "mother"? any thoughts

#i have Reasons to ask this #alright do you think arthur and gwen's daughter would call them “mother” and “father” in private or “mum” and “dad” #i'm not talking historically I mean canon-wise #merlin always called hunith “mother” as far as i recall #even though they were close. it wasn't meant to be formal #do you see what i mean #also tbf gwen did call tom “father” once or twice in that same ep so it wasn't even internally consistent lol #i haven't checked the ep where tom is condemned to death though #do they even have any scenes together there. i can't remember #misc. #*

[mage-witha-glock]

There's something really funny about the fact that the team's strongest member is also their medic. Like, you'll have Daimen or something being like "I'm injured, where's our best medic" and Zorian just points at Zach who is mid combat with the most dangerous opponent on the battlefield.

#like what do you even DO in that situation #xvim: so youre telling me... our medic is the blood knight of the group who is always on the front lines? #zorian: yep :) #xvim: and you-? #zorian who hangs back sniping people with guns and mind magic: i don't know medical magic :) #zorian is PRIME medic. because he's hanging at the back anyway! and he can do two+ things at once with his mental enhancements #but he doesn't know any medical magic #and i think thats hilarious #mother of learning #zorian kazinski #zach noveda #secret archmage society #daimen kazinski #alanic zosk #xvim chao

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hello helloo! i just read through your modern au and I'm in love (shocker), i wanted to ask if you'd give some more info on poppy? apologies if there's already a dedicated post to her, looking is not my specialty

there is not! i will gladly ramble!

~

in this au, Poppy is slightly less fearful than canon. this is for several reasons! 1) years of therapy. 2) anxiety meds. 3) teenage years of her friends dragging her out for Shenanigans & hyping her tf up! but she's still a worrywart! she's very cautious! she can and Will see the bad/dengerous side to every situation. but! now she has the tools to not only cope with but combat her intrusive thoughts & fears <3

i think i mentioned it before but she Did Not Realize she was trans until highschool! specifically, when she met Sally! Poppy had to stop by the theater department after school for some reason or another, and Sally noticed her looking longingly at the costume dresses (Poppy thought she was alone lol)

and while Poppy was mortified at being caught, Sally was delighted. they only knew each other in passing and from reputation but Sally started holding up dresses to Poppy and complimenting how well they suited her. (i could joke about how Sally could sniff out the lesbian in her before Poppy even knew she was a girl!) Poppy, flustered by the sudden attention and apparent acceptance, didn't know how to handle it and fled. then started avoiding Sally in the halls. but! eventually she had to go back for Insert Reason Here, and ofc Sally was there. this time around Sally is a little gentler and less assertive, but manages to coax Poppy into checking out the more ~feminine~ costumes again. thus begins their little meetings where Poppy tries on costumes and Sally is her biggest hypeman

it takes a while for things to Click in Poppy's mind! it isn't until she tries on a dress that Sally custom-made for her, wearing some makeup and a wig, that Poppy has her oh moment. unfortunately, some of their ~mutual friends~ (Wally, Barnaby, Howdy) walk in on them. there's a short, terrifying moment where Wally is all "who's your friend, Sally?" and Barnaby has to lean over to let him know "that's Poppy, bud". before Poppy can fully freak out, Wally immediately goes OH! and starts complimenting how pretty she looks. Barnaby chimes in next to ask if the dress is home-made bc it fits Poppy beautifully, Howdy nabs a necklace from the nearby gathered accessories and put it on her to "tie the outfit together". in short! Poppy finds nothing but support from her buddies & they're more than happy to help her figure out this new internal crisis / revelation

then of course eventually she's found out by her family, which goes very well (im using sarcasm! it goes terribly!). Poppy isn't outright disowned or kicked out or in immediate danger, but her relationship with her family is ruined by their transphobic bigotry. her friends have her back throughout this, and the guest room at the Beagle farm is always open to her! Sally continues to make custom clothes for Poppy (something that becomes a love language for the two of them <3).

honestly, this period in Poppy's life is part of what like... idk... strengthens her, in a way? her continuing to be herself and actively rebelling against her family, i mean. Poppy becomes a pretty stellar liar lol (lying to her parents about where she's going, who she's hanging out with, what she does after school, etc). she's very cautious about all of it, but she does it! she's determined to pursue and discover and Realize the woman inside her! i have this sweet scene in my mind of the Group at the Beagle farm chilling on the floor with notebooks, brainstorming on possible names. (Sally enthusiastically says a variation of 'exquisite' to each one, and then when Poppy says 'im not sure about that one' Sally - still enthusiastically - says a variation of 'horrible terrible how could you suggest such an ill-fitting name'). despite everyone's efforts, i like to think that Poppy finds her name entirely on accident! maybe during the Gap Year Road Trip! maybe they stop by a SoCal poppy reserve in superbloom and the flowers Resonate with her! who's to say!

but Poppy begins her (medical) transition in college! she, of course, gets shit for it, but she also begins to find community and enjoyment in the local queer community. and of course, she has her buddies <3

but anyway! i like to think that Poppy participates in local farmer's markets with her crochet work & baked goods, the latter of which is a complete hit! that, plus her first experience with going to a tearoom inspires her to strive towards owning her own! tearooms are right up her alley, i'd say - calm, quiet, and Poppy can make peoples' days a little brighter with a tranquil atmosphere & delicious treats! i swear i have a reason between 'Poppy british = she goes into tea business'. honestly! tearooms are more about the tiny sammies & tasty cones w/ cream! and feeling Fancy while chatting!

i think it takes a while for her to actually be able to start up a tearoom. I'd imagine she starts by holding a small, single-table reservation-based one in her own place once the Group decides on what town to move to. it's successful, slowly (but steadily) grows, until she can get an actual House and transform the ground floor into a full tearoom. lil shop by the checkout counter, several different rooms, a sizeable kitchen. staff! the tearoom is a humble one, but it's a killer holiday & tourist destination! the high ratings even bring in people from out of town!

and when it comes to Poppy & Sally, bc yall know i'm a sucker for Popstar - i like to think that they start dating after (mostly) all of them move into their new town. & after they both have been in prior relationships! and then they never stop dating. well, they do, but that's so that they can upgrade to Wife Status. and then they never stop being wives so there <3

but Poppy is successful and happy! she had a rough go of it but she Makes It! and she continues to make it!

#i hope this Suffices! #ofc the ~lore~ in my mind is a lil more complex #but its Too Much to fully write out yk yk #giving her a tearoom was uhhhhh a bit of Personal Indulgence i will admit! #i used to have a tradition with my mother/grandma/sister where we'd all go to a tearoom once a year #but then grammie bit the dust (or rather - got turned into it) and that tradition uh. kinda stopped #i have very fond memories! i'd like to go to one again someday! perhaps with friends! #so when i was thinking 'what modern day profession would suit poppy' i do think owning a high english tearoom would fit #theres also just a level of personal influence to that ahaha #also if i went to a nice tearoom and the owner was a gorgeous 6'8 woman. ough. thats all im gonna say about it. ough <3 #rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #sally likes to waltz into the tearoom while poppy is working to buy One (one) little box of tea and also flirt over the counter for an hour #and there's an upstairs room reserved for Poppy & her friends!! #it's free for them to use at any time! #though they still always pay. they have a lil game with poppy where she tries her best to refuse #but they manage to sneak the payment past her anyway #or they so happen to 'leave a tip that just so happens to be the exact payment' on their chair #on top of the tearoom she also supplies some baked goods for Howdy's shop #it was something they started when she was first getting her lil business off the ground #it evolves into just 'poppy bakes a batch of muffins as her morning ritual and sends them to howdys' #she supplies more when she can! or when she stress bakes! or when she and frank stress bake together! the entire group gets fresh tasties!

[soldier-poet-king]

Suddenly hysterical (in a bad way????) Okay???

#solution to hysteria is always shower. always #i already made dinner so ill eat after #and maybe itll be ok..?? #is this bc i had a caramel macchiato this afternoon #i never buy fancy sugary coffee #its like. a rare treat for me #i usually just go for americano or flat white. im v boring ik #BUT I SAID. oh no a trear #but that was like FOUR HOURS AGO #why am i AHHHHHH now #(this week this week this week is sm im going back to my parents house. ew. might be finding out abt that job #my boss comes back from vacation. its just alot all at once and i rlly just wanna nap #AND i didnt end up going thrift shopping today bc i got sad again and embroidered for like 4 hrs instead #what i really want is to go to the el cheapo thrift shop that isnt bougie but like dirt cheap like a proper secondhand store #i cannot get there by transit its technically in mississauaga #so i would need to borrow my mother's car #which means she would want to come #which means i cannot shop in the men's section for fun patterned button downs #BLEGH BLEGH BLEGHHHHHHHH #do u undersrand how much i want fun patterned button downs and also an old man blazer #NOTHING IN THE WOMENS FITS MY SHOULDERS PROPERLY OK #the duality of fran #if i could wear mens pants with my hips i WOULD