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drops-of-moonlights · 8 months

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I got an ask about favorite winx transformations and if my thoughts have changed at all in the last couple years that was lost to the void when my computer crashed like 3 hours ago and while I made one post about that aeons ago I don't want to go edit it again so I'm just remaking it wholesale lol. I think at this point y'all are familiar with my TakesTM so I don't need an intro, all the shit is below the cut. also this is for. all of them. like the comic ones included. also gonna provide images for them because it is all of them and most people don't know about the 9 comic ones.

*takes a look at the amount of transformations* oh god we're at 24 of these fuckers? lord. anyways we're going worst to best and honestly most of the worst ones will be the comic ones lol. Also I'm grouping MW and Charmix as Charmix Specials-style because they are just an accessory on top and the rest is the same so they will be judged together so that brings it down to 23.

23 - Paintix

This is by far the most creatively bankrupt of the transformations. Literally the exact same ugly top skirt boots combo 8 times. I have never found scans of the issue its featured in but they could have done so much more with a transformation themed around color? like c'mon here.

22 - Greenix

This one is better than Paintix for at least giving the girls different colors for more than just one (1) part but it's still the same exact dress 6 times with only minimal variation on the vines along the top, and it's sad, because this is supposed to be THE vegetation transformation as it represents the ENTIRE POWER OF LYNPHEA at your fingertips.

21 - Trendix

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THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ACTUAL GRAPHICS BECAUSE IT'S FROM A BOOK but the idea is that it's just Fashion Cheatcode the transformation and only Bloom, Stella and Flora get it so it's low, but above Paintix and Greenix for cheating in a way I find funny.

20 - Magic of Sports

Okay this one isn't even a real transformation as they just get wings with their regular fútbol fits (it's from the 2014 world cup issue) but at least the girls are wearing different outfits and the wings are also different colors so it has that going over Paintix and Greenix.

19 - Magic Rock

this one's a crime. but a crime with more thought put into it than the rest, so it's higher than them. Props to them, they all have different silhouettes and there are forms higher than them that can't break that treshold, but that still is not enough. What are they wearing. what is that. Musa why are you a makeup brush. Also they use this form to beat ghosts and win a music contest. what.

18 - Tynix

I've never been shy about my dislike for Tynix, and I feel this shows it well enough lol. bullshit obtainment aside I just think it's ugly - the construction paper gems, the shitty undersuit, the clunky broken glass heels, the random ruffles, it's all bad. The wings and the hair are cool and. that's about it really.

17 - Enchantix

I've also never been shy about my utter hatred for Enchantix, so I won't really rethread old ground here, but basically I think it's bullshit overall and it's only above Tynix despite hating Enchantix more because I can begrudgingly agree some of them are pretty. Still hate they're all flowers tho that's just bad. if you removed or adjusted the extra pink and restored everyone's skintones so they're not whitewashed S8 Enchantix would kick the ass of OG Enchantix to the curve visually (except Flora's she took a downgrade)

16 - Mermaid form

Yeah I also hate this one. I just don't think it makes sense to have fairy mermaids when mermaids are already a species in Winx and when the show cannot make up its mind if being fairy is a CHOICE or if being fairy is a BIOLOGICAL CONDITION, we don't need this shit muddling things up further. Points for giving Tecna proper wings tho good for them.

16.5 - S8 Sirenix and Crystal Sirenix

I'm also throwing the two S8 Sirenix ones in this tier because I don't like them either lol. S8 Sirenix fairs better than Crystal but not by that much.

15 - Travelix

We start the area where I just think they look... fine. I like the idea of the visuals and this is a transformation that SHOULD'VE been in the show proper (really they would've made more dolls that way) but it's also not anything groundbreaking. For those curious this is the transformation granted by the Stone of Memories that allows someone to travel in time. hence me saying it should've been in the show proper lol.

14 and 13 - Sophix and Lovix (position changes)

Some of them are good! Some of them suck ass. And therefore they end here because they aren't more than just Believix, Summer and Winter editions.

12 - Butterflix

I love the Butterflix wings and hairstyles and I think it had a solid IDEA but they put TECNA in a tutu and some crimes cannot be forgiven. points for having Stella's bodice be sunbeams tho.

11 - Dreamix

I don't really care all that much for Dreamix, but it edges out Butterflix, and that's the reason for this placement. I still don't get what the netting is supposed to be but I do love the wings.

10 - Onyrix

Onyrix also only slightly edges out Dreamix - the colors are worse and the wings are bad but I find it more visually interesting than Dreamix and it gave us Blue Stella back, so it has rights on that alone.

9 - Harmonix

We're getting into the ones I'm more positive for! but half of Harmonix is gorgeous half of Harmonix is bad. LOVE the idea of the trails and it has THE best spells out of any transformation but I genuinely don't think it's a transformation SUPER fit for being underwater and given that's its purpose it kinda. falters lol. Also I don't get how the trails are meant to be like mermaid tails? Everyone says that and I just don't see it. I see them as waterfalls more than anything else really.

8 - Magic of Food

Yes. I'm ranking the food form this high. Why? Simple - it's actually. really well done? Flora and Bloom's hair is trash but they went for a weird concept and made a transformation that actually looks pretty appropiate all in all, and I know this is because it's a sponsored transformation but hey, that cash went to a good-ass look lol.

7 - Magic of Joy

LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT IT. ENCHANTIX WISHES IT HAD THIS EFFORTLESS ELEGANT SIMPLICITY. The wings being the same is lame but they all just look so pretty AND THEY TOOK THE TIME TO MAKE SURE TECNA HAD PANTS and I have to commend that. Bless you quokkas you funky animal you, thank you for giving this to us.

6 -Cosmix

OH COSMIX I WISH I COULD LOVE YOU MORE I genuinely find it pretty for the most part and it's the best Tecna and Musa have looked in years but I just cannot forgive Stella's vagina collar. I cannot.

5 - Charmix

What even IS there to say about the OG? the very first? It's iconic all on its own but I know my love of it is mainly guided by the happy memories of watching S1 and S2 as a child. That and some of the bags are not that great.

4 - Mythix

MYTHIX HAS RIGHTS AND I STAND BY THAT. IT'S WHAT ENCHANTIX SHOULD'VE BEEN. I am a person of simple tastes, I see magic wand I go apeshit. Also peak wings no wings rival the Mythix wings if you disagree you are wrong hate the dresses if you want but you cannot argue with me about the wings. I do agree some of the shoes are ugly tho.

3 - Sirenix

Yeah I love Sirenix. I understand the complaints about it being samey but I just love it - the ribbons, the hair streaks, the fins in the legs, the fish scale pattern leggings, I just think it slaps and it being wetsuit-based is so fitting for it. Shame about the same wings tho. Also we all know Sirenix has THE best transformation song ever made and that's a FACT.

2 - Bloomix

Bloomix is, objectively, the BEST the Winx have ever looked like. you cannot beat armor, you cannot. Stella's hair is a disgrace but it was the tradeoff for Flora being freed from her shitty hair blades for ONCE in her life and it's overall really good looking.

1 - Believix

Believix is peak and always will be. The perfect blend of fairy whimsy and modern aesthetics (for the time). The wings. the song. the transformation sequence. Really the only bad is Musa's shitty aerobics instructor pants and even then that fits her so I can't be TOO mad. Believix is love Believix is life.

#Winx Club #Drops screams into the abyss for Winx #I am not tagging all the transformations are you insane.

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ratsoh-writes · 2 months

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How's this, hoe 😘

Personality traits:

• i am gonny, hear me roar

• mama: am mom, and all are baby

• wifey: you will be relentlessly wifed

• chef: 20 shots of pasta straight up the ass

• sexy: I am sexy. You are sexy. All is sexy

• manager: family manager, home manager

• bossy: no no, we have to do it this way

• red soul: i see it, i like it, i want it, i got it

• love lang: physical touch, quality time

Dealbreakers / Pet Peeves:

• incompetence: do your tasks well, without me telling you to, and without me having to teach you the little things

• childishness: i need a grown ass skele

• stress: keep the distribution of labor equal

• child-free: little too late for that, daddio

• unclean: wash your god damn asshole

• overworking: prioritize me and bbs

• little bitch: let me bite you

Attractive Traits:

• i like the old, ugly, rugged, scary, grumps

• strength 💪 bench me

• general dad energy, dad bod

• the more skills, the hotter

• men trying to impress you by showing off their skills is foreplay

• wisdom, experience, accomplishments oh my

Hobbies:

• old lady: knit, paint, photo albums, read

• wine mom: wine helps me drink

• baby mama: bring me my baby

• geek: media consumption?

• menace: i will bug you, then bite you

• princess: sing and dance everywhere

Favorite Items:

• baby

• phone

• my own breasts

• soup

• perfume

• gnome

Shdhdhdh so I had three main traits to look for in your matchup: competent, likes kids, and horny. And then when finding those three traits, I had to pick one who wouldn’t self combust after a week with you. After much trial and error I match you with…… NOIR- just kidding! I match you with LUSH!! Lush is lustfell sans, and just the rugged dreamboat for you!

You like strength and accomplishments? How about starting a couple dozen businesses through loans, making absolute bank, and being a boxing champ work for you? Lush is a very successful monster in many ways~

Lush does want kids someday, and while his job normally keeps him quite busy, he’s more than prepared to hire someone to take over much of it so he can focus on the family once kids are in the picture. Lush is a duty bound monster, and his first line of responsibility is is SO and family. It would take a while for any step kids to get used to him though, since he is a scary guy at first glance

While his decoration style isn’t bad at all, it definitely clashes with yours. However he’s fkn rich and doesn’t care that much as long as the home looks put together, so you get free reign pretty quick. However rich people are weird, and currently he’s trying to convince you that having a guard-chimera is just the accessory that the home needs lol.

He can’t sing. But he’ll sing if you sing. So if you value your virgin ear holes, don’t sing around him. If you don’t value them though, have fun making dying cat noises with him. At least until pepper or your kids yell at you both to shut up

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user1286 · 1 year

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Uh I’m stuck at a wedding with boring music I can’t dance to so I’m impulsively deciding to drop my Magni and Modi redesigns for my au so I can just get it done with bc 1.I’m shy and embarrassed and I keep putting it off, and 2.uh fuck you💕

OOOOOOOOOO SPOOKY REDESIGNSSSS

(Things will be a bit vague and out of context bc… spoilers for my fic lmao)

Considering the fact that the Thor family is now in Midgard In Fimbulwinter, these bitches did not get the spell they’d need to “stay toasty” in the cold, so… they’re just freezing lol. Magni and Modi’s weapons were also revoked after being considered total failures in the eyes of Odin, and now they just use weapons they stole from the armory before escaping Midgard. Another note, they now have different fighting styles in case it wasn’t obvious. I decided to take inspiration from the Warlord and Raider from For Honor bc… they’re cool, and also bc my brother is a nerd and he’s helping me “choreograph” some fight scenes lmao.

Uh on elaboration on Modi, uhh after fully recovering from death, let’s just say he doubles down on his pathetic ass and in the process, morphs into a form of his father. Also his haircut was smthn forced by Thrud, he didn’t want it but was quick to give up fighting lmao. Oh yeah I also wanted to make him look more like his part: loser who hides in his blanky/j

On Magni, obvsly, no differences are drastic or whatever, but one thing I will say is that Magni now has a scar of the wound he died of. Same applies to Modi. Also also, just pretend I drew his face tats, I I literally hate drawing them I’m barely bothering at all anymore 😭. Uhhh other thing, Magni fucking hates shirts. He just hates shirts. He refuses to put them on LMAO. That’s why he just wears a pelt around his waist. Yes, he is cold he just never wants to admit it OSJDKSJ. Smol edit: I FORGOR TO ADD HIS HAND WRAPS IN THE DRAWING EKDJJD he wears hand wraps idk if that’s what they’re called I’m just gonna hope u know what I’m talking abt, you’ll see them in future drawings LMAO

Ok and uh sketch dump now except they’re all pr old, and I was still practicing drawing these ugly mfs. (I still am but I’m a bit more confident in it now)

1 and 2 will stay out of context bc I think it’s funny

3: young Magni

4 and 5 are just…. Yeah.

(Also Magni was originally gonna have some more scars from Kratos’ axe, but I just simplified it to just one on his face.)

#magni and modi #god of war #gow #magni god of war #modi god of war #I’m a bit of a modi simp I rlly don’t enjoy it #if oc x canon people can do this so can I #poopoo sketches #my poopis #gods of disappointment #I also changed their designs bc I didn’t like them LMAO #don’t kill me pls I love the character designers at SMS but smthn happened with the models where the official concept art looks so much #better than the actual models

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mybreadsmybutters · 3 months

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Who, or what, is pyrocynical? I could google it but I think having it explained by you will be funnier

pyrocynical is a youtuber who is known for being deeply irony-poisoned and UNFUNNY and making long LONG ass video analyses and also dosgshit commentary videos. more under cut if u care beyond that

he has a main channel for actual video essay type content that mostly focuses on analyzing video games. he’s known for making an 8 FUCKING HOUR LONG VIDEO talking about a tv show called Utopia and one on Pet Scop. also he got cancelled for grooming in 2020 and in order to disprove the allegations had to admit to having like a fat furry fart fetish… 8 started watching him around 2017-ish when he was making leafyishere style commentary videos and that’s mainly the only type of content he makes that i care about because i dont care about video games on any level

his SIDE channel pyrolive is a mix of something he has termed slop and video game gameplay. i watch this channel because half the content is purposefully dogshit plus bait for views which is funny to me and also because the shit he says is so fascinating to me. he has this very specific style of speaking and talent for speaking AROUND an issue without ever actually Saying something. every video is like a moderate politician who’s definitely got some REAL crazy opinions that he’s very good at obfuscating from a general audience

he’s also like VAGUELY problematic. as in he says retard in contexts not directly related to his channels and exists in that sphere of creators who only condemn bigotry when it fits a very specific agenda, always makes attempts to “not talk about politics”, definitely making content for 15 year old white boys who spend their entire day being racist on video games sort of thing. i wouldnt go so far as saying he HIMSELF is actually somebody with weird beliefs but he’s definitely catering to an audience that is very much like. redpilled weirdos. lol.

he has this very fascinating way of talking about youtube site culture and their fan norms that i don’t know if he’s actually AWARE of that make his videos more interesting to me. as in he frequently does react or drama videos and will explain the drama and instead of giving some boring “this is bad/good for x reason!” analysis he’ll break down the CONTEXT within which a situation arose and why this person is reacting in this way and his take on how they SHOULD be addressing the issue to handle backlash.

clip below that i think pretty much says What Kind Of Youtuber he is from one of his most recent videos. for context he’s reading an apology video from a guy who got a 50k self-insert Hazbin Hotel spicy animation leaked

this sort of stuff is what makes him compelling to me… he doesn’t have an opinion!!! he’s basically saying nothing here!!!

also “idk anyone who stans franchise and doesn’t have pronouns” makes me ugly laugh. HE shouldnt be saying shit like that but at the VERY least i can find it funny and be delulu about him. hope this answered ur question anon

#pyrocynical #pyro lore breakdown #i guess #ask

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pineapplerightsideupcake · 9 months

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u do realize that the world isnt just americans and europeans right...not every anti american post is coming from a european lol

This website is over 85% North American/Australian/Western European

The chances I’m talking to someone outside that demographic is slim in the first place but I find that people from countries with actual grievances talk about their specific issues with America. You are invited to notice how I don’t police people bringing up American imperialism or our war crimes.

I think the American government and military are evil. I’m never looking to defend them.

But it toasts my ass cheeks that Europeans, grumpy that their empires are waning, write endless self pitying posts about how “America isn’t the whole world!” But they want our music and fashion and movies and TV and tech. Then they complain about how the ubiquity of American culture is oppressing them somehow. A Native Hawaiian can complain American culture was forced on them. I’d never dream of calling that out. I’d reblog them. We came with guns and worse and have done everything possible to erase their culture. But I’m sorry Pierre and Gustav, no American came and tied you to a chair Clockwork Orange style and made you watch “Iron Man VII”. If you hate that American culture is ubiquitous, feel free to go see a local film and skip Barbie! Vote to invest in entertainment. Koreans are killing it with producing TV and music the whole world wants to enjoy. Japan has had global anime fans for decades. I’m rooting for Indian and Thai movies to gain more popularity. Like stop bitching and make your own media and prioritize it.

And God forbid Americans on an American website use Fahrenheit instead of Celsius. Or don’t tag a legal tip with #sorryforbeingamerican

It’s the height of hypocrisy that Europeans frequently accuse Americans of always centering themselves while un-ironically demanding that 50% + of tumblr’s userbase cater to the preferences of its Euro users and not you know, their own.

And this isn’t even getting into Europeans using America’s problems and issues to deflect their own history of brutal imperialism. Let’s talk about their appalling treatment of Romani people. Let’s talk about “cultural purity” being a dog whistle for white supremacy and ugly Nationalism. Let’s talk about rampant anti semitism.

When Europeans rant about “hey American you’re not ackshully Italian/Irish/French/German because your great great grandfather came from there.” despite Americans explaining we know we aren’t literally from another country you can feel them dying to call you a mongrel race american that has no blood right to their country. Because if they didn’t care about cultural and racial purity they’d listen when Americans explain what our mixed heritages mean to us and how we express it as individuals, communities, and as national points of pride. They’d be excited that so many Americans do try and learn the language and do want to visit and do want to learn the culture.

Oh and by the way, let me know how Western Europe feels about the US military if Putin ever sets his sights further west than old soviet countries. Because I’d bet money suddenly they don’t have a problem with the American military-industrial complex. Most Europeans aren’t anti imperialist- they’re anti AMERICAN imperialism. They like us just fine when we enable their subjugation of their own empires. They love our money and our protection.

Anyway Tl;dr I’m aware not everyone criticizing the US is European, but the butthurt hypocritical posts they make are they only ones I’m talking about.

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curejiraiya · 5 months

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i want to hear more about your hayami hiro hyperfixation!

Have I ever told you how much I love that they gave Hiro a big yellow bow in his middle school idol outfit

I love him! He's ADORABLE!!!!!!! I wish there was merch of him in this outfit, it's 100% my favorite of his. I've definitely posted about this bow before, but when do you see a masculine character that you're supposed to take seriously in a big bow. Never. And then they made him wear it again in Pride the Hero. He genuinely looks amazing in it. It's a big poofy yellow bow, he looks like a tiny soft boy. It's great. I headcanon that he continues to wear this outfit at Over the Rainbow lives when him and Kouji sing Pride together, forever. Like I want a 26 year old Hiro still wearing this knock off school uniform and big yellow bow. And the crowd goes CRAZY.

I've also posted about this merch before, but this is my favorite merch outfit they've ever made for the guys. Hiro with his hair up 😅 I think it looks so good. The different style for Kouji's hair is really great too. You never really see anime guys with different hairstyles, but I really like the ones from this collab. But their entire outfits here. Hiro and Kouji are wearing matching leopard print belts, insane. What a fashion take, why does it work. Hiro is in a crop top here btw!!!!!!!!!! Like it's hard to tell because of the jacket but crop top Hiro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah I actually love everything about these outfits so much. I want a street Over the Rainbow song that we never got but deserved. Kazuki center Over the Rainbow.

Sorry I'm just picking random Hiro things I want to talk about lol

Something I was thinking about the other night was how Kouji and Kazuki both have pretty consistent symboling, at least in King of Prism anyway. I would argue Kouji doesn’t have a symbol in Rainbow Live. But in King of Prism Kouji is associated with honey, honestly not in the show but in the fandom, right. Because of that famous post where the person was like “Honey came out of his ass!” I still think that phrase is really funny. And Kazuki is really simple, he says burning, his thing is fire. But with Hiro I think we see the symbols associated with him evolve over time. It started with the yellow Rose and the use of yellow with him, we don’t necessarily see the yellow fade away, like I’m assuming the in-universe fandom still gives him yellow roses quite often. That’s just one of his idol things, like idols have callouts and a Hiro thing is that his fans give him yellow roses. But when Over the Rainbow starts he gets this heavy association with apples. It has to be an Adam & Eve, I’m pretty sure it’s an Adam and Eve thing, but I haven’t really figured it out. He’s Eve and Kouji is Adam? That’s what it is right? But what? I don’t know, it’s a stretch, maybe it isn’t an Adam and Eve thing, but my symbolism brain has a really hard time seeing someone take a bite out of Apple and not thinking it’s in Adam and Eve thing. But then there’s the third symbol and in my opinion the best one, or if anything this is the symbol of post-character arc hero. Like SSS era Hiro is heavily associated with crowns. Because he’s the King. Like specifically this style of crown:

And I never complained about it, but my personal gripe is that I think the traditional pointed crown is a lot less ugly LOL. But that’s irrelevant, regardless I think associating Hiro with crowns points to his character arc. That he overcame all of his struggles in Pride the Hero and came out a stronger person. I also just think this was his transition into an adult. I mean they probably officially said his age in Pride the Hero at some point, I’m pretty sure it’s 17, but he turned 18 in October of that year. And in my eyes him becoming the Prism King is him becoming an adult. It’s him casting aside the immaturity of childhood, and like committing to the things he loves. Committing to his job, his friends, his idol group. He is not a highschooler who can be manipulated anymore, he’s not a kid from a broken home. He’s an adult who won his life back. He’s overcome tragedy and this is his crown. Well not the one in the photo above, that’s from Prism Rush when they did like a fantasy thing, let me find a picture of his actual crown. I’m literally staring at it irl because he’s wearing it in a piece of merch that I have in my room.

I NEVER NOTICED IT HAS A HEART ON IT????? OH MY GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH HIM SO ADORABLE

Anyway he deserves the crown. His arc to Prism Cup winner is stronger than Aira's imo (because Rhythm had the stronger arc in PR:AD heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) It was clearly set up for him to win from the beginning but you can tell he's really the director's baby boy character. No other character could come close to winning.

In 4 years when he's 21 there is a 1000000000000% chance he wins again. I think Kazuki will be worn down by then (it's not that he's gotten worse it's that he spends a lot of his time working with kids and would put that before training). Kouji doesn't have the dancing or jumping skills. I think he knows that though he'd still try and try harder than anyone but Hiro. Yuki could maybe do it, but I genuinely think he's the only Septentrion boy who has a shot currently, the rest of them aren't focused enough on Prism shows and specifically that skill. And like ofc Shin could be cheezy prism power winner but idk he seems kinda like Kazuki in that his focus is spreading the love of prism or . whatever instead of actually grinding out skills in being a performer. I think even good guy Alec is still too destructive/wild to win though he could second place.

Apparently the Joji/Ace duo is actually super skilled? like based on their score in SSS. But that's TWO PEOPLE idk gang I love them but I want Ace before he turns 20 to realize that maybe he should sing for himself (I do love their duo though I just want it to be healthier for them both). Can Louis still jump? Does he still do prism shows after SSS? Something tells me no, but I mean who knows.

Anyway Hiro would win :) I want 21 year old Hiro to kick 16 year old Yuu's ass. I want Kouji to give 120% and still get his ass kicked and have a character arc where he has to realize like, he can't win but Hiro couldn't win without him, he's literally singing his song.

I am not kidding when I say I think about the next Prism King Cup like daily. I think the ages of the Septentrion boys works really well for a story there. It's not that I have it fully planned out, it's that I think through every kind of situation that could happen. It's so good.

They look so dumb. These 3 18 year olds are the most famous idols in Japan (I think Kazuki is 19, who cares.)

If they're 21 for the next Prism King cup, and (I'm rereading this like an hour later and I forgot you can drink in japan at 20 oh well,) after everything happens and they're just relaxing together again the night of the performance, Hiro and Kouji get fucking SMASHED. They just have that vibe. Kazuki either parties with them or is straight edge, I flip flop on that characterization for him. I also think all the girls are with them at that party, and it's like "mweh ur only 20 u can't drink," but Wakana is the type of 20 year old to NOT care and drink anyway, and Kouji is 100% slipping Ito drinks when only the two of them are looking. The other girls don't seem like drinkers. Bell is probably a wine mom later in life. A wine lesbian if you will.

The last thing I wanna rant about is that one group photo where Kazuki is getting his feet smashed, where is it.

Imagine if I had this saved instead of just googling it and scrolling every time.

Look at Hiro's stupid little hat. Look at his wink! No wait look at his hat, that's amazing why did he wear that?

Kouji ur looking the wrong way your boyfriend is on your right. Unless you're actually looking at Kazuki being tortured, then carry on.

This is probably the best Kazuki vs Kouji height photo, because with the whole group Kazuki looks SO SMALL. The girls are all in heels but I mean that gives them like once inch. He's so short. I love it.

Like you could be saying "Kouji is looking at his girlfriend and she's holding his arm hmmm," And I'm over here saying "Kouji is wearing MATCHING ROSE PINS WITH HIS BOYFRIEND," any questions?

I just realized these are different suits then the suits they wear in that one OTR business intro in SSS. I know cuz I have a standee of those suits lol. I guess they're famous they probably need more then one suit. Hiro and Kouji's are worse here, but Kazuki's is better for the bowtie.

Actually I lied, Hiro and Kouji have better colored suits and waistcoats above, but I really like their gay matching roses idk.

I don't have a conclusion for this post, it's just a bunch of random observations I have on my mind constantly about Hiro. In conclusion, Hiro Hayami is gay. or bi idk. I feel like he thought he liked Bell but comphet. So he calls himself bi, but let's be honest he's only dating Kouji. Or Kazuki i'm down for the street kings ship. Kazuki and Two H. Or he's dating both of them, I'm a very pro poly person.

God I could talk about Two H or Poly OTR for a long time, but I wont today I will stop typing. Sorry about my hyperfixation!!!!!!

#ramblings #king of prism #hayami hiro #oh god why did I write so much #I will put this in queue so it doesn't look like I wrote it write after writing the last one

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cacklingblobbittyrabbitty · 1 year

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unhinged rainbow magic post 7 of 12

We started having yet more opinions by the time we reached these bitches let me tell you but it’s gonna get worse from here!

PETAL FAIRIES (not flower fairies cos I guess that was already copyrighted by that woman with the delightful drawings Cecily Hodgeson? Idk)

Tia YES I Actually Love This Looks like a tulip! The vibes are on point Colour scheme is delightful Caramel hair is finally working So simple but works so well Timeless but still got them 2000s vibes hell yeeeaaaahhhh

Pippa You can either do the hairdo OR the headband NOT THE COMBINATION You need a scrunchie, not a headband Once again the poppy vibes are splendid Are they all gonna have the same boring-ass ballet flat shoes? That being said I do like the flowers on the shoes Necklace is TOO BIG and looks like a WOUND, get the war images out of here jesus Dress is cute tho plus the massive waistband actually works here!

Louise The combination of colours? Green and pink? Are you a fimble bitch? White and green would have really worked so why the pink bro??? The necklace looks like its eating her. It’s a lot. Halter neckline + massive waistband that somehow makes it an empire waistline + leggings under a dress Knee high boots! So from the waist down she’s pulling it off Leggings + boots = spies vibes which is a compliment well done Louise DIFFERENCE OF OPINION - hair my friend: not the worst but I hate the flower and overall it’s not helping the look me: colour works, I like the flower especially if you get rid of the necklace, hairdo is so 2000s and she’s rocking it

Charlotte Still kinda gay hmm Why is the sunflower fairy so blue? Is it meant to be the sky? This is the One Time they’ve fucked up dark hair (so far anyways lol) The outfit is a vibe but it’s so meh (ig could be worse tho) Colour combination isn’t horrific it’s just… interesting I can’t tell whether the blue trousers, brown belt, and yellow flats works or not Very 2000s - low waist, flares, big flower belt, crop top Necklace is too big AGAIN! The petals are unproportional bro! You’ve got some baby sunflowers that haven’t been loved adequately going on here! There is too much brown and not enough yellow! But like overall why is there more brown and blue than yellow? Have they ever seen a fuckin sunflower??????????

Olivia I LOVE THE HAIR it’s a yes from us luv This is how you don’t fuck up a headband! This is how u use a scrunchie! Most detailed belt we’ve ever seen Really like the colour scheme - delightful surprising lil bit of yellow Pink vest? We’d lilac instead but keep the shoes pink The very existence of this vest looks like she got dresscoded bruh Shoes are adorable! This is necklace that could work IF IT WAS SMALLER currently it looks like a starfish is attached to her neck lmaoooooo

Danielle Primary school teacher vibes (wraparound shawl, long bead necklace, the pose) - she definitely lives vicariously through the four year olds she teaches Double necklace????? Is it Necessary????? (it’s a pasta necklace painted pink) Ballet flats are back! The skirt/dress is delightful but the cardigan is Not, a lil yellow belt would be better holy fuck Why is the hair teaching me maths? I like the length and style of her hair but the colour is off because the cardigan is too goddamn yellow

Ella LOOK AT ALL THAT PINK I’d honestly prefer a darker pink or even burgundy though, my childhood internalised misogyny is rearing its ugly head here Ballet shoes for bad bitches! This is the SECOND petal fairy to be unintentionally empire-waistlined by her massive belt Can the petal fairies please stop wearing entire flowers as necklaces please? How about a singular petal each? You don’t need an entire fuckin flower! Skirt looks twirlable tho yayy Really like the waviness of the hair yeeeee and the colour is cute

#rainbow magic #rainbow magic fairies #petal fairies

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hana-akari · 5 months

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Have a little SasuSaku headcanon!

While Sasuke doesn’t care that much about the length of hair, he will sometimes comb his fingers through Sakura's hair. Because while her hair is short now, she still takes excellent care of it (mostly through leftover habits from when she had long hair) so it’s silky smooth and Sasuke just likes touching it

It's like his fourth favourite thing to touch on her :P

Aaaaa, I love this! That would make her melt every time. She would just love to feel his fingers running through her hair. Sakura loves having her hair toyed with, it's another reason why she keeps it so nice. So its soft and silky to the touch. He could easily relax her and make her fall asleep just running his fingers through her hair over and over. Great way to de-stress her too, or calm her from being mad.

She probably regularly lets her hair grow out long. Gets tired of taking care of it/how it looks. Then cuts it off and starts over. Though if Sasuke commented that a particular style looked good on her, she might keep it that way for a while. But still eventually get bored with it.

She never goes to any hair dressers either. She just lops it off herself and then trims it up to how she likes it. Sakura has gotten real good at styling her own hair over the years that going to someone else to do it would feel wrong.

She probably styles her own kids' hair too. Just lets them decide what they want when they're old enough to figure out what they like or dislike. Even if they want some ugly ass hair style she hates, she'll give them it because it'll make them happy. And then take pictures of the bad hair style to embarrass them later when they're older.

I'm assuming his three other places is titties, butt, and lady bits? LOL.

#tiredpunk: ooc #headcanons

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joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 11 months

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MARIO BOXARTS RANKED BECAUSE ODYSSEY'S CAME UP IN A CONVERSATION WITH A FRIEND

also i'm just snipping tooling these from my backloggd mario list lol

this is whatever! it's got donkey kong feet and the colours are fairly easy to look at and hey it does tell you what the game's about but also like eh, never been into this old ass artstyle, pauline has more focus than the playable character

good start to the real series! this trend in NES boxart where they'd show actual sprite art from the game so as to let you know what you're getting into is pretty cool and by now this pose is so recognisable that we just know straight away "yo this dude's JUMPIN like some kinda PLATFORMER", also they're not using Mario's usual design but instead fire mario which i kinda like because it's very contrasty and shit, good time all around

what is this, what am i getting into, this could be fucking anything. mario's holding 2 fingers up because it's mario 2 but like what else am I supposed to get out of this. not a huge fan

"Super Mario 2 Bros.: Mario Madness" ass graphic design what the hell, also Mario's front leg looks like it's coming out of his cock, never really lovedt his art, he has a turnip because you can pick up turnips and things in general which yeah that's showing off a central mechanic in the boxart which is good but otherwise ehhhhhhhhhhh

super mario 3 bros ass graphic design, but this one's a lot more iconic and generally beloved, doesn't do much for me though other than show a new powerup off and one that sure does look like Mario's flying, woah this is bigger and better. Nice contrast in the background, generally nice art, but shrug

Mario is completely flying here with a cool new cape and yo who the fuck is this absolute mount taking centre stage on the box? That's bold and different! Also from here onwards we've pretty much found the Mario logo design specifically, these colours and that font are still appearing today. Do think the background could stand to have slightly more going on though

Mario is flying again, even more obviously, but now that we've made the leap to 3D we've got an actual 3D render instead of just 2D key art - even the logo and backgrounds and shit are 3D. This is Mario's big jump! Note that the earth is round as if to imply that this is Mario's largest and most open adventure yet. That goomba kinda fuck ugly though. General visuals are of the time but this one is still really good and entirely accomplishes what it set out to do

red strip obscuring some of the art bothers me but this is pretty peak boxart, more than anything else it's just nice art that embodies the new visual style for this game alongside including tons of the game's unique and charming character designs - maybe doesn't quite get plot or even genre across but it sure as hell looks good so

not a fan. it's Luigi which is a plus and he's clearly afraid and there are ghosts there and the logo's good but just none of these renders are all too good and Luigi's disembodied head and arms are kind of uncanny

what even were they fuckin trying dude. Okay it's a fine Mario render and he's got a new tool to help him out, sure - thje logo is also solid even if it reads more as Super Mari Sunshine instead of Super Mario Sunshine - but it's the everything else. Hardly feels tropical other than the title, Delfino Isle is NOWHERE to be seen, and what in the actual fuck is that word art text circling around that you can't even fucking read. Epic failure.

PEAK ALERT PEAK ALERT good god this art is amazing, goated as all hell art style with some of the best designs Mario and Luigi have ever had and a clearly colourful world with dangerous new foes in the background, sure! Just sick as hell

closer to the game's actual art style than 64 was but otherwise kind of a step down to me - Mario is so in front of everyone else that their designs don't really shine as much as they could.

I fear we have yet another complete fucking flop on our hands. These renders are surprisingly poor for the time and then the boxart itself accomplishes about 10 times less than the original game did. We're communicated that there's more playable characters now and we've lost everything else and even gained weird shitty motion blur on a static image to boot.

colours aren't quite as easy on my eyes as those of Superstar saga but banger art and character designs still shine through, and hey all the babies are clearly here too that's cool, perhaps a bit busy tho

now see I quite enjoy the art and think these renders are good enough by now to rep on a box art - said box art also shows off the mega mushroom super duper well in addition to a clear return to the 2D gameplay that's been gone or so long, but I also find this boxart weirdly deceptive lol? Namely in that Mario and Luigi can't exist simultaneously in the game except in multiplayer, but the multiplayer isn't enough of a focus for me to think "rep it on the boxart", so idk

Paper Mario goes 3D which is communicated well here, and all our playable roster are here with nice artwork for everyone - even the support fairy things I forget the name of are flying around without being too distracting - looks nice really. Though I kinda think Count Bleck doesn't need to be there? Or if he is that he's moved around somewhat? Like he's weirdly distracting being positioned like that

ladies and gentlemugs it is with great honour that I present to you actual kino - gorgeous as hell logo, super great render, and the core premise off the game laid out so beautifully that all you need to do is take even a glance at this box, and you know exactly what you're getting into. Space is pretty as hell, this boxart is pretty as hell, this game is pretty as hell, you just know from looking at this that you're in for an incredible time.

okay now the Mario and Luigi series would adopt this general design sense going forward and I'm pretty eh on it, I like the new logo and the tiny Mario Bros walking on top of it, and hey all the art is still good, but like I don't think all this negative space really achieves anything and I think more could've been done

now we go for a box I quite like, the red along the bottom is nice and appealing and then the main artwork showcases that we've got actual emphasised 4 player multiplayer now plus Yoshi plus at least one cool new powerup, ain't that sweet? Also some of the NSMB boxarts get a lil busy but I think this one is in the perfect zone of not too busy right now.

once again I come bearing kino, in what's effectively just the Mario Galaxy boxart but with a different set of nice artwork and also with Yoshi, plus his powerups shown of throughout the background, very cool. I prefer the comparatively more simple Galaxy 1 boxart and I've never loved how 2 favoured light blue skies, but still really nice

now this one is. nice. certainly shows off the titular 3D - and triples up on the return of the tanuki suit with both super leaf in the background and land having a tail and the goomba having a tail also. But eh idk there's not much of an identity here lol. it's just lots of "things that are in Mario"

here's one that's also a "things that are in Mario" featuring a bonus misleading "are Mario and Luigi here because multiplayer?" visual, but the yellow patterned background stands out and the coin emphasis is there which is this game's main unique selling point, so yk it's decent

I don't love this art style as much for Paper Mario but it's colourful, it has lots of stickers which is the name of the game, lots of random hosuehold objects in wacky Paper Mario style, like yeah no this is pretty solid

okay now see this is where the nsmb covers just start throwing too much shit at you at once - there are 3 different types of yoshi all doing different things here and a piranha plant attacking luigi and a goomba that's bubbled up and yellow toad has the new powerup but the new powerup is also rolling out of a question mark block and it's like dude slow the fuck down man!

now this one is obviously less iconic than the original Luigi's Mansion boxart but I do think placing more emphasis on the mansion and giving Luigi an actual body is a step up, though having a standard Mario boo there instead of the cool original ghosts is a lil sad

god the more the series itself goes through fatigued the more I feel fatigue writing about it, but hey this is the final NSMB one so. It's whatever. Still a bit cluttered but mixed up the backgrounds at least. Eh. Logo design neat I suppose

so continues aforementioned whatever trend and I still don't really like it - but suppose this one uses the space better than Bowser's Inside Story does. Once again new styled logo thing still cool

shows off 3D and multiplayer fun and the new powerup in a nice way and there's more original iconography to the game so it's a step up from 3D Land, but also there being 2 of everyone still feels so weird lol

peak as all hell, love the Mario design and the simple render gets across all that it needs to - construction ass yellow and the simple font gives it a homebuilt feel and it's very obvious what the game's actually about. Somehow they managed to communicate that without being super busy as well.

I think this one technically uses more of the space than the other white background boxarts and it's neat that Paper Jam is in the Paper Mario font, but for a crossover like this I really think there needed to be more done lol, this just looks so dull and plain and shit

this is a solid enough paper mario boxart, gets the main gimmick across pretty quickly without like overwhelming you on anything, doesn't evoke much else but it's fine

now here is some absolute fucking PEAK dude, so immediately gets across exactly the theme the game is going for with an epic globetrotting adventure, photograph aesthetic just gives this a travel log vibe and all the different world designs and costumes and core mechanics are conveyed super well, it also managed all that while being really easy to read and shit, just an absolute W all around

kind of feels like a linear downgrade from Maker 1 tbh - like the art is more expressive and Luigi is here which is a plus - the game actually supports multiplayer too so you're not being misled. But I think Maker 1 was just a little more elegant and immediate in getting across what the game is actually about.

would call this my favourite of the Luigi's Mansion boxarts despite not even having ghosts - cause hey it has a pretty neat mansion and Luigi is doing a good expression and he has a body still and also Gooigi is in there, I'm about it, just looks good

pretty fuckin weak ngl! It's kinda just "here's paper mario characters lol" with the origami gimmick only occupying a corner of the screen that your eyes just aren't drawn to. Just doesn't hit

last off! this. it looks cool! fucknig gigantic kaiju bowser. he's important enough to take centre stage in the boxart and the game reflects that. he's so out of control that even his own son is teaming up with you to stop him. I'm about it.

anyway done thanks for reading

#mario #14.6.23

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britswriting · 2 years

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Unbroken (43)

Last chapter of Unbroken! Presave Desire on Wattpad, will update the bottom of this when the first chapter of Desire comes out on Tumblr (wattpad always gets it first though.. shh)

Unbroken Masterlist

Read Unbroken on Wattpad

Desire - Wattpad

I didn't feel like spending a million years making IG stories, so ignore the half assed ones lol

Trigger warning: Struggles of bonding with the baby, thoughts of giving her away, suicidal thoughts

A/N: you're going to see Leigh waffle between the highs and lows of being a mom. Please be patient with her.

*Leighton's POV*

"Look how cute she is!" Aaliyah coo, placing the 24 hours old sign next to Gemma.

"I can't believe she'll be in this world for twenty four hours! Is your camera ready? We need to capture the exact moment!" I questioned, excited to capture this milestone.

"I still can't believe you named her after Harry Styles sister" Aaliyah said nonchalantly and I rolled my eyes.

"She's named after my mom"

"Yeah and Harry Styles sister"

"Shut up and focus on the clock so we don't miss it!"

"Fine"

We took photos of Gemma, and Lexi helped do my hair so I could take some hospital photos with her, Gabe taking over my bathroom mirror to fix his own.

"I still can't believe this came out of your body" Aaliyah let out a content sigh, softly rubbing Gemma's cheek.

"Right! I was in labor with her for like 30 hours! Pain in my ass she is!" I laughed, feeling my heart beat quicker when her face scrunched up as the sunlight hit it.

"I don't know how you managed that. If I ever have kids I'm opting out for a c-section"

"Colby was a lot of help. Gabe was too I guess.. I don't know. I don't remember too many details other than up till I got my epidural, and then Gabe passing out. Plus um.. I kinda stupidly kissed Colby.. and he's been ignoring me since" I admitted shamefully, watching her eyes widen.

"You kissed him?! Why?! Since when were you ever interested in him?" Aaliyah asked in a state of complete shock.

"I'm not.. I think I was just caught up in the moment you know.. he was there attentively my whole labor and delivery.. you don't just do that with someone you hate.. Can we not talk about my labor please, I don't want to start crying"

"You brought it up!" She laughed, bringing her camera up to her face to photograph my baby.

"I know.. I don't know. I'm struggling. Full transparency.. I know I've been laughing with you guys a lot.. but this is.. this is something else. I'm scared that I just went through something so personal.. and now things are ruined"

"What do you mean?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder at me, shushing Gemma as she started to whimper.

"I'm afraid that I went through such a personal experience with someone I barely know.. and now things are ruined. Like.. like.. he saw my baby be born.. and hasn't held a conversation with me since" I admitted, unsure of my feelings towards the situation.

"Leigh, don't worry about him. You just had a baby. The drama and the boys and worrying about anything that isn't your and your baby's well being isn't important. If you made a mistake, tell him. If you're worried, tell him, but don't let it consume you too much. Now, I'm going to need you to pick up this sweet angel and kiss her sweet face so I can take a cute photo"

After our mini photoshoot, a nurse came in and asked if we were ready to do the newborn bath.

Gabe and I watched her get the water lukewarm and carefully hand scoop some water over Gemma's head.

"When her hair comes in, you put some shampoo on the hair and carefully comb through it, then carefully rub their hair with water to rinse it out" She explained and we nodded, taking everything in.

She took a washcloth and carefully gave her a sponge bath.

After the bath Sam and Colby came in to hang out with us as my Cynthia and Lexi left to go pick up food.

"She really is gorgeous Leigh. She honestly doesn't have the ugly newborn phase" Sam noted, inspecting my baby which made me laugh a little.

"She could be a model for baby gap!" Kat squealed and I quickly shook my head.

"My baby is not being plastered all over social media" I informed, wincing as I sat down.

"But she's got the face for it! A star from day one!" Aaliyah announced, the others joining in.

Once things settled down a bit, and Gemma was laying against my chest, I told them her name, and watched the excitement build up in the room.

"That's your mom's name right?" Colby asked and I nodded, smiling at my sweet girl.

"What's her full name?" Kat asked and I grinned over at her, knowing she's going to be very excited when she finds out.

"Gemma Lorraine" I replied, Katrina's eyes lighting up.

"WE SHARE A MIDDLE NAME?!" She yelled, which caused Gemma to cry.

I worked on calming her down and they asked for the okay to post the announcement of my baby on social media and I informed them that they could, I just asked that they keep her name and face private, and that's when her first nickname was born.

A/N: pretend it's kat. I'm too lazy to actually edit a photo for a fake IG story lol

"You know in school, I was always called Sammy G, so we already have things in common" Sam grinned, seeming proud as he now held Gemma in his arms.

"Nope she's another girl in our group! She's closer to me! I can teach her all the girly stuff! Plus we share a middle name!" Kat playfully argued.

"She's my godchild. I trump all" Aaliyah grinned, seeming happy that she had the upper hand over the other three.

"I'm her mother, I win" I grinned, feeling giddy at this announcement.

I'm her mother

Another 15 minutes passed and Aaliyah ended up having to leave, leaving me with the YouTubers.

"I can't believe she's been off oxygen for three hours! She's growing up so fast!" I frowned, carefully waddling over towards the bathroom.

When I came back out, Colby was taking some photos with Gemma, and Lexi and Cynthia were passing around food.

"Do you know when you're getting released?" Sam asked, Lexi handing me my chicken.

"Once I go to the bathroom, I should get my discharge papers. She also has to pass a breathing test and the car seat test. Gabriel went to go as the nurse when he needed to bring it up" I took a bite of my chicken, smiling at my baby girl resting in my friend's arms.

"Leigh was given stool softener" Kat slightly snickered and I glared, huffing in annoyance.

No need to announce it to the world, Katrina.

"You know, once you have a baby, you can pick fun. But until then, shut it"

"Grouchy momma bear has arrived!" Kat teased and I rolled my eyes, eating my chicken.

It was maybe 10 minutes before a nurse came in to take Gemma away for a breathing test and Gabriel came back with his best friend Chase.

There was some small talk about how I've been doing and how Gemma has been doing as he handed me a Target bag.

"I'm ready to be out of the hospital. I know Gem has only been alive for twenty four hours.. but I've been here for days. I'm done" I griped, pulling out some of the baby clothes Gabe bought. "This is cute" I smiled at the light pink onesie.

I went through some of the new outfits, aweing over how adorable they looked when Gabe spoke up, catching me off guard.

"We still need to figure out whose last name she's getting" he said and I sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned back against the hospital bed.

Here we go

"Tell me why she should have yours"

"I'm her father" He said point blank and I snickered a little, "And? I'm her mother. Why shouldn't she have mine?" I fought back, opening my eyes.

"Because babies get their fathers names" Was his response and I swear the whole room rolled their eyes.

"How sexist"

"Leigh"

"What? That's what it is, isn't it. Wanting to carry your legacy. Have someone to carry out your name. What about my name? Why should I lose my name? Why should Gemma have Bennett, and not Fox?"

"Because Gemma Bennett sounds better" He said and I stayed quiet, not in the mood to argue about this. "You know, I've let a lot of things slide Leigh, the least you could do is let our daughter have my last name" He continued and my jaw dropped.

"Excuse me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"My girlfriend was a fucking drug addict. It was long days and nights of worrying, and wanting change. I watched you destroy yourself-" He stared and I quickly stopped him, fully aware of who was in this room right now.

"Can everyone leave please" I asked and they nodded, Colby slightly hesitant, but Kat tugged him out of the door.

"You had no fucking right to say that in front of them!" I hissed, glaring at him.

"To what? Say the truth?" He said in a strong tone.

"What truth?! You act like you're the fucking victim! We both fucked up! You know damn well why we broke up, so stop acting like my bad choices are what ruined us! If you didn't abandon me, we wouldn't be in this room, arguing over our baby's name! I wouldn't have to live with Sam and Colby and go through hell! You're not the fucking victim! If anyone's a victim, it's our daughter! Let it go! I was fucked up and struggling, we get it! But you're no saint either! When I went to jail, who came to my rescue huh?! Who saw me?! Who helped me?!" I asked, my voice getting louder.

"Leigh you know why-"

"Yeah I do, and I will never forget it. Gemma's having my last name. You abandoned me, and you're abandoning her. Names are supposed to mean something. They're supposed to hold value, and I'm not letting your shitty excuses be her legacy"

"Leighton, that's not fair" He started and I quickly shook my head.

"No! You know what's not fair?! You leaving me to go move to New York! That's not fair! We have a newborn, and you're putting yourself before her! You're leaving her! When she asks baby stories about her, and she finds out that her daddy left to go to college instead of spending time with her, how do you think that will make her feel?! YOU'RE ABANDONING HER! IT'S WHAT YOU DO! YOU ABANDON PEOPLE!"

"Says the girl who wanted to give her up!"

"THAT'S DIFFERENT AND YOU KNOW IT!" I shouted, starting to get defensive.

"How?! How is that any different than what I'm doing?!"

"Because I wanted to do it for her own good! I want her to have a better life than I can give her!"

"And I don't?! I need a job Leighton!-" He started to defend himself, but by this point I was too far gone to stop.

"YOU HAD A JOB HERE!"

"-A job I love! I want this Leigh! You're not going to make me feel bad about this! If I go to a good school and get a good job, she can get a good life! She's getting my name Leighton!"

"No! I refuse to give her the last name to someone who doesn't care! She deserves to know she's loved and wanted, and when she's older and looks around the room, all the faces she'll see are what?! Bennett's?! Your family doesn't care Gabe! You barely care! Did you even want this baby? Did you just say all this bullshit and make a nursery to what, humor me? To play me? Ha Ha good one! You got me so good!" I fake laughed, sarcasm dripping from every word as I vented. "Honestly, why the fuck did you make a nursery if you were planning to move to New York?! How are you supposed to give her a good life, if you're not here?! Do you think child support would cut it? It'll just magically make you her favorite person?! News flash, child support will not cover the years of therapy she will need if we keep going like this! If you're feeling bad or guilty or shameful, that's because there is something to feel bad or guilty or shameful about! Don't abandon your one day old to go across the fucking country for however many years! There are schools here! Jobs here! YOU CHOSE THIS! YOU DID THIS!" I shouted, my emotions getting the best of me yet again.

"Leigh-"

"And what the fuck do you mean that I can't make you feel bad for leaving?! I'm being honest! I'm telling you that your choices are going to affect us! I'm not following you to a huge city with a newborn all because you chose now as the perfect fucking time to go to college!" I ranted, not letting him get a word in edgewise.

"We talked about this Leigh! We talked about how it will be easier for her as a baby, then if she was a toddler or in school. I'm tired of going in circles with you! It's always the same conversation over and over again!" He expressed his frustration which only made my blood boil.

He was frustrated?

HE WAS FRUSTRATED?!?!

"Yeah. It won't affect her at all to have a single parent struggling because the other half ran away. Yeah, she won't be affected at all" I replied sarcastically. "Also, have you even for a minute considered that we're going in circles because we haven't solved anything? It's the same conversation over and over again, because we have the same frustrations and concerns each time!"

"How are we going to get through this Leigh? I don't want to be fighting all the time. We both want the best for her.. what do you want me to do? I don't want to resent you because I stayed. I want this so bad Leighton. I'm sorry that these plans are causing more chaos and stress... but think big picture-" He started and I felt the tears fall down my face, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

"I can't think big picture Gabe. I can't. I try and I can't. I get stressed out and scared and you're one to be like "We'll get through this"! You're not the one going to be stuck across the country with a newborn! You're going to party and fuck around and get to be a young adult whilst I'm at home raising our child! Stop talking to me about what is fair or not, and how I should feel and to look at the fucking big picture! If we switched places, and I was going to college and you were stuck across the country with a newborn, you can not tell me that you'd be all cool and ready to go! I'm allowed to be mad! I'm allowed to be scared! I'm allowed to be afraid! I'm allowed to ask questions and try and figure this out!"

"I never said you couldn't.. I just.. we need to figure out what we are putting on her birth certificate Leigh"

I was quiet for a moment before looking over at him.

"Can I say something fucked up?" I asked and he gave me a look before slowly nodding. "Bennett sounds a lot like Bobet, and I don't know how I feel about my daughter's name sounding similar to a girl who bit off some guy's dick" I admitted and it was quiet for a moment and I felt my heart race, but all of a sudden he started laughing.

"Fine, she can have Fox" He laughed and I smiled softly, watching him basically lose his mind in front of me.

"I can't believe I'm about to change my first diaper" I sighed, reaching for the supplies as my infant wailed.

"It's not hard" Mom reassured me, handing me the wipes.

"It sucks to see the little tubes on her nose" I spoke softly, undoing the tabs of the very small diaper.

"I know, but she's breathing and that's all that matters" She reassured me. "Don't forget to put the new diaper under in case she starts going to the bathroom again" She reminded me and I nodded, placing the brand new diaper under my newborn's butt.

"Thank god it's just a pee diaper" I let out a breathy laugh, grimacing when I felt the blood pour out onto the pad I was wearing. "No one talks about how bad bleeding sucks" I grumbled, pulling out a wipe. "Front to back right?" I asked and she nodded.

I finished changing the diaper and my mom tossed it into the waste bucket as I tried to soothe my baby.

"Do you know when you're getting out of here?" She asked.

"Um, I think I'm getting discharged tomorrow. I don't know if Gemma is though. Depends if she's stable. I don't know if she has to be stable for twenty four hours or what since she's still on oxygen"

That night I spent trying to breastfeed Gemma again, but she still wasn't taking to it, and we quickly found out that she was born with a tongue tie, which led to the conversation about clipping it.

I knew it would be easier for her in the long run if we did the procedure whilst she was a baby.. but the thought of having her go through another thing scared me.

We ended up scheduling for it to be done that next morning and I found out I was going to be discharged that afternoon.

That night, a nurse had Gabe and I take an infant CPR video course to learn what to do just in case the unimaginable happened and that next morning I woke up to a nurse checking on me and telling me they were going to bring Gemma in for some skin to skin before her procedure.

It was November 27th now, also known as Sam's 25th birthday and I knew everyone was going to be busy hanging out with him, so I took this time for myself to write in Gemma's journal again and process some of the emotions I was feeling.

I have now been in the hospital for five days and I was itching to get out of this place.

I'm still very sore, but I was finally getting the hang of walking without crying, so I guess that was a perk.

I was also still bleeding heavily, but all I could think about was how my baby was still being monitored in the NICU and she wasn't by my side.

I tried my best to be allowed to go down and hang out with her when Gabriel wasn't, but I was still in recovery so actually being able to go and see my baby was a lot harder than I expected

Hanging out with Gabe has been weird since he dropped the bombshell about going to college.

I never thought my pregnancy, labor, and recovery would go like this.. and if I was being honest.. I was pretty sure this would be my last.

I had no desire to do this again.

It all sucked.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, to delivering her.. it was hell.

I still was struggling to bond with her and I kept being told that the more I hang out with her, the more it'll click...

I went through these mood swings of being excited about having a baby and thinking about how cool it is that she's here now... to feeling dreadful and undeserving of her. It was a mind fuck for sure.

For the past few days I just laid in this room almost grieving my baby because she wasn't next to me. She wasn't here to cry or snuggle.. it felt like I lost her.

Was it normal to grieve someone you haven't lost? To feel alone? Confused? Scared?

Was this normal?

I was honestly so tired of crying, but it's all I could seem to do lately.

Colby has barely talked to me since I stupidly kissed him, and he hasn't replied to my texts. I tried to remember that they were all busy with Sam's birthday stuff, and that they'd reply when they could, but it felt very isolating.

I think the worst part of this whole experience is just how wrong it felt.

Nothing went to plan. From how she was conceived to how she was born.. it all went wrong.

She was perfect and precious.. but my brain kept waffling between she's mine and she's not mine.

I was too scared to ask questions, or even get opinions because every time I tried, I was just told it gets better. That this was just because she was in the NICU.. yet here she laid on my chest.. and I felt like I was holding a stranger's baby.

When they took her away to cut her tongue tie, I texted Sam happy birthday and told him I would make it up to him for missing his birthday. I knew his friends were going to take him out for dinner, but I hadn't really heard from anyone all day and I was starting to feel left out and forgotten.

What if they moved on?

I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of going home even though I desperately wanted out of this hospital.

I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that I would more than likely be discharged before Gemma... and that made my heart crack.

I truly felt like every minute I spent in this hospital was breaking me into pieces, and it didn't help that throughout the day Sam and Kat would send me photos and videos of them having fun.

"Knock knock momma, I got our brave little girl" A woman spoke, walking back in with a crying Gemma. "We did cut it, and she did a very good job" She reassured me, passing me my baby and I just stared down at her, feeling helpless.

"What am I supposed to do with her?" I asked, not sure why they handed me my baby.

Can I do this?

Can I care for a baby all on my own?

I carefully lifted up my daughter, trying to push away the negative feelings as I stared into her sleepy tearful eyes. "I'm not your mommy am I" I whispered, every bone in my body wanting to give her back to the nurse.

I felt the tears fall down my face as I cradled her. All I could hear in my head was that I couldn't do this. That someone would be able to do this a lot better than me. That someone can love her better. Someone else deserves her.. but then in the other ear I could hear Sam telling me to fight for her. To love her. To want her. For my mom to tell me how it takes a village and how we will get through this... and my dad.. God my dad was so excited for a granddaughter...

"Ma'am.. are you okay?" The nurse asked and I shook my head, holding out Gemma to her. "I.. what?"

"Take her please" I cried, my hands shaking.

The nurse quickly took her as a sob shook through my body, my head falling forward as I cried in agony.

"Ma'am, what can I do for you? Do you need a doctor?" She asked and I shook my head, hearing my baby cry.

"Just.. just take her away please! Get her away!" I screamed, crying in the process.

The nurse quickly left with my baby and I laid there crying, wanting nothing more than to forget this ever happened.

I can't do this.

Who was I kidding?

Me? Raising a child? Please.

I'd just fuck her up.

I already am useless to her.

I can't feed her, change her, snuggle her... and she's always on oxygen..

I should've aborted her. I should've put her up for adoption. I should've miscarried.. I should've died.

I should've died and I wouldn't be in this situation!

"Leigh?! Leighton!" Someone spoke frantically, quickly wrapping their arms around my shaking body.

I shoved them off of me, my nails clawing into their skin as I cried, wanting them off of me.

"Leigh! Calm down!"

I opened my eyes, my vision blurred and I could barely make out who it was.

"Leighton, shhh it's okay! It's me, Logan! Just tell me what happened"

"L-Logan?"

"Yeah it's me Leigh, it's me" He hushed, walking back over to me.

I cried hard into his chest, feeling incredibly guilty for the thoughts that were in my head.

I explained my thoughts and feelings as he held me close, just listening to me.

Logan eventually called in Dr. Hughes and forced me to tell her what was going on.. and one of the things brought up was Postpartum Depression.. and I expected her to tell me that I had that, and I just needed to wait it out.. but much to my surprise, she told me it sounded like I had imposter syndrome.

"If it is imposter syndrome.. what can she do?" Logan asked and Dr. Hughes sighed, so I knew we were really in for it.

"There is no cure other than just overcoming it in time. You don't have signs of PPD because you aren't thinking about hurting yourself or the baby. You miss quite a few marks to be diagnosed with that. You're just thinking you aren't good enough. That your daughter deserves better. I can prescribe an anxiety medication, and evaluate you for things to help you sleep and such.. but.. I think you just need to give it time. I need you to know that you're allowed to feel like this. It's okay. Don't feel shameful or guilty because you're struggling. Having a baby is a big change, and it doesn't help that she isn't here with you. I promise my team and I are trying really hard to get her to you. She's getting stronger every day Leighton, and I promise one day you're going to look back on this day and think about how silly you felt to feel inadequate, but the truth is, that you are inexperienced and that's normal. I didn't help you bring this baby into the world and expect you to know everything. All babies are different, and that's okay. It's okay to struggle. It's okay to go through all of these emotions. I need you to try though Leighton. If you truly want this baby.. you're going to need to try for me. I know you're having ups and downs and it's a scary time... but you're not alone. She needs her momma, and you need her. Do you want me to go get her, or do you want to be alone?" Dr. Hughes asked, Logan rubbing my back.

"Go get her please" I whispered, wiping the tears off my face.

"Leigh, I think you should get back into therapy" Logan said softly and I nodded, turning to look back up at him.

"Please don't tell mom and dad. I'm sorry" I whimpered, my heart aching at all the horrible words in my head.

"You're an adult Leigh. I'm going to treat you like one"

"I know I just... god I'm a horrible person! What mother doesn't want her baby?!" I whined, covering my face again as I laid back on the bed.

"A mother who is scared. A mother who wants the best for her child. A mother who is alone, and tired, and can't think straight. You've been worrying for a year Leigh! You've been through hell and back, and it's all starting to finally come out. Your dam is breaking, and we're here Leigh. Let us be here. Let us help"

Dr. Hughes brought Gemma back in and I took a deep breath, Logan lightly squeezing my shoulder.

"Here's your gorgeous girl Leigh" Dr. Hughes handed me my baby and I carefully held her, regretting what I did earlier.

"Hi baby" I whispered, my hand lightly rubbing at her cheek. "I'm sorry" I sighed, rolling my head to the sign as I took a deep breath. "She feels lighter" I muttered and Dr. Hughes nodded.

"It's common for baby's to go under their birth weight, plus she's been struggling to eat. She'll get back up there. Believe in her Leighton"

Gemma laid on my chest and we both fell asleep, Logan staying next to me the entire time.

When I woke up, Gabe was in the room talking to a nurse and I felt Gemma's breath hitting my chest.

"Where's her tube?!" I said frantically, knowing she had it last time.

The oxygen tank that was next to my bed was gone too.

I frantically scanned the room as my baby's life flashed before my eyes.

"Hey hey hey, calm down! She's breathing on her own! She's doing so good Leigh!" Gabriel reassured me and I slowly looked down at my daughter, watching her inhale and exhale slowly.

I ended up crying out of relief as I felt the air hit my chest, her body rising and falling slowly.

"She's.. she's okay?" I asked and Gabe nodded slowly and I took a deep breath, trying to not cry.

"They're trying to see if she can stay off of it. This monitor is her breathing" He pointed to a small monitor next to us and I nodded, wiping at my face yet again.

"Hey Leigh?" Gabe spoke up and I asked what, still looking at my baby. "I'm sorry for earlier. I'm sorry for our fight. I'm sorry for choosing to do this now. I know it's selfish.. but Leigh.. I wouldn't do it if I didn't believe in you. I know you'll keep our baby safe. I know you'll be an amazing mother. I trust you Leighton Rae. I trust you with our baby.. and I'm sorry that I've caused you so much pain and stress.. but I promise.. if I didn't think Gemma was in good hands.. I wouldn't be doing this. I know you're mad at me.. and I know you are worried about doing it alone... and I know if I stayed with you that things would be easier.. but I think we both need this. I'll do whatever I can to make this work. I promise I love her. I promise I'm thinking of her and I swear I have her best interest in mind.. but damnit Leighton, I love you and I know you're going to be a damn good mother. From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were someone special, and then you got pregnant with my child after one of the hardest years of our lives.. and I was scared, I'll admit that.. but being here today.. I love you Leighton. I know we aren't each others soulmates and that we don't work well together anymore.. but I need you to know that I believe in you. I know you can do this. You've gone through far worse, and I know I've done a shitty job at being there for you, but I'm really trying. I'm trying to give you space and let you figure it out.. but I love you. I love you and Gemma so much and I know you kissed Colby. I know you did because Aaliyah told me... and I want you to know that it's okay. It's okay to move on.. it's okay to find love again. You deserve it Leigh, and if he is someone you want to pursue.. I want you to know that I won't stop you, or fight it.. and if he is someone that you think is good enough to be in Gemma's life.. I trust you. I trust your choices and decisions. If I didn't, I wouldn't be leaving. I would be putting up a harder fight.. but we can do this. It's going to be hell, but we can do this"

"She told you?" I finally asked since he wouldn't let me get a word in.

"Don't be mad Leigh. I asked. I was curious. You wouldn't have let him be that involved in your labor and delivery if he didn't mean something.. and because I passed out.. I just.. I wanted to know. I wanted to know if you were together or what the status was. Believe it or not Leigh.. I want the best for you. I know I've dropped the ball when it came to being there for you during recovery.. but I'm trying to get my time in with Gemma. I'm trying to be there for our daughter. I just.. Can I ask you something?" He asked, looking me dead in the eye.

"Uh.. sure"

"Do you like him?"

"Who? Colby?" he nods. "I don't know" I answered honestly and he nodded, glancing away.

"Can I ask you another question?"

I nodded, shifting the way Gemma was laying on me.

"Why did you let him be so involved in the labor?"

"Um.. I don't know.. I just.. he was there. He was always there... I just..... I've grown to like his company. I like when we hung out or the stupid talks we have. I like to annoy him and watch him get pissed off because it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh to see him be irritable. I originally wanted Sam, but he was on vacation at the time.. and I don't know. He was just there. He's always there"

"Have you talked to him about Gemma?" Gabe asked, and I was confused.

"About?"

"It's just.. is he a friend or is he something more? Even if you don't know.. if he got a girlfriend.. or slept with someone.. would you be okay? Or is he something more to you?"

"I don't know Gabe. I haven't thought about it. We've just been working on building a friendship. We're trying to hang out more and see if we can be friends" I answered, confused as to why we were having this conversation right now.

Gabe groaned, showing frustration as he started to pace in front of me. "Can I give you some advice?" He asked, and I nodded, curiosity getting the best of me. "Don't need him, want him" He said and I gave him a weird look.

"What do you mean?"

"Be good without him. If you lose him, be okay. I couldn't stand to watch your heart break because of me, let alone another man. Leighton, I don't want him to break your heart or Gemma's for that matter. I know you're unsure how you feel.. but I know he means something more to you than just a friend. Whether he's a new best friend or becomes a romantic interest... be good without him. If I'm going to be okay with you seeing other people.. I need to know that you'll be okay without him. That you'll be okay. I don't want to leave, and something happens. I want the best for you Leighton"

Before I could reply, Dr. Hughes walked in with my discharge papers and started to explain that they're going to keep Gemma here at least for another twenty four hours, and that if I wanted I could just be discharged and walked down to the NICU, but the more she spoke the more I couldn't listen.

All that was repeating in my head was

Don't need him, want him

* * * *

EEEEEK DESIRE IS OUT NOW! - Book two to unbroken 🙈 Find it on my profile and add it to your library so you know when the next update is out!

I'm ready to continue this journey with you!

Written on: June 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 13th 2022

Word Count: 5945

Desire (book two) part one

#colbybrock #samandcolby #solby #colby brock fanfic #colbybrockimagine #wattpad #unbroken #desire #baby #pregnancy #writing

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