mybreadsmybutters

[mybreadsmybutters]

who the hell are the "monkees" "oasis" "beetles" everyones into bands these days

[mybreadsmybutters]

From the people who brought you “why is x-men woke” now comes “why is fallout anti capitalism now”

#i cant even listen to any takes about this show after the pyrocynical Incident. his addiction to being loudly boldly wrong is incredible

[mybreadsmybutters]

this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby

#do people seriously only own 3 pairs of pants??? so much washing??? no variety??? do you guys not go to events??? #i have like 20 pairs not including leggings and sweatpants and pajama pants #like if it's a money thing yeah that makes sense but otherwise why would you put yourself through that... #im not even a very fashionable person but i cant imagine how annoying life would be with only 3 pant... that's like a week of wear dependin #are yall doing laundry every week just for pants? this must be a cold weather thing i could not do this round my parts #surely this is just people who PREFER skirts... surely...

[mybreadsmybutters]

my creative process is typically thinking "wouldnt it be so fucked up if i posted that" and then i post it

id hope my girlfriend would love me enough to sneak into the morgue and bite back gasps while fucking my cold and lifeless corpse one last time

[mybreadsmybutters]

id hope my girlfriend would love me enough to sneak into the morgue and bite back gasps while fucking my cold and lifeless corpse one last time

#that brookyln 99 episode with mary elizabeth ellis REALLY awoke something in me. #to be fair mary elizabeth could breathe and id be into that too so

[mybreadsmybutters]

makes you think…

[mybreadsmybutters]

The Women of Amphissa by Lawrence Alma-Tadema (1887)

[mybreadsmybutters]

I don't get when people say "I wonder what it was like being the first person to discover masturbation" because technically everyone is that person at some point

#untrue i didnt masturbate until i learned that it was a thing i was supposed to be doing at like age 13 #it simply didnt occur to me i dont think i wouldve done it naturally

[mybreadsmybutters]

they should replace grades in schools with a point system that has zero bearing on anything, but school points can be redeemed in the cash shop for unique cosmetics for your school avatar (things like hair color and outfits) and skins for your pencils and notebooks and so on. this would be purely visual of course for balance purposes. and universities could have unique university specific cosmetics to encourage people to apply to them

#they already did this it's called Snap Score and Bitmoji

[mybreadsmybutters]

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

#this is how i feel whenever i see american ninja warriors clips pop up. you people should be at the megafauna hunt

[mybreadsmybutters]

#i fear this wouldve worked on me when i was in my pancake addiction phase

[mybreadsmybutters]

#the veins in her arms oh my GOD

[mybreadsmybutters]

Some tweets belong on tumblr. One such case

[mybreadsmybutters]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

#GOD OTHER PEOPLE ARE JORKING IT IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME

[mybreadsmybutters]

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

[mybreadsmybutters]

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

[mybreadsmybutters]

levelheaded normalday preppers have been stockpiling sensible amounts of coffee and frozen meals for when the world is the same as it usually is

#me asf