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tainsan · 10 months

Text

misfits III (college!ateez x reader)

{a/n: this one is a little bit crazy so buckle up!}

do not steal my work or repost on places other than tumblr.

taglist: @lilactangerine @plutoneu @abby-grace @sunkissed725 @lixiel0ver @acciocriativity @hyukssunflower @sunukissed @khjcoo @stopeatread @meginthebuilding27 @mychickentendou @sunnyhokyu @rxnexxi @croa-yevon @arabelleum @randomness7198 @dysftopia @lucymultistan @sookacc @starillusion13 @daceydeath @theamazinggrace-00 @smilingtokki @hasgalore @pytssamworld @just-a-really-bored-kpop-fan

i{f you asked to be in the tag list and dont see your name, I am incredibly sorry but your account cannot be tagged. Again, my apologies.}

-----THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-----

⇢ master list ⇠

previous chapter ⇠ ⇢ next chapter

warnings: small anxiety attack, someone is a dickhead to reader

word count: 7k

_______

“I’m sorry I just can’t....

”“What do you mean?” Wooyoung’s voice is full of remorse as he cuts your words off. Yeosang can feel his heart drop down to his stomach.

“Let me finish,” you say softly, “I was going to say I just can’t believe this is happening.”

Wooyoung tilts his head to the side, whereas Yeosang’s hands gripped tightly, his nails digging into his palm.

“What do you mean?” Wooyoung repeats himself, not understanding the situation.

“Look I’ll spare you the sob story but my entire life I’ve kind of been treated like shit, it’s extremely hard to believe that something incredible like this is happening, it doesn’t seem real at all,” you admit, looking at your hands which are now full of sweat. Your comment pierces the hearts of the two males standing in front of you.

“It’s happening, okay?” Yeosang takes your hands into his own, and you fail to see the way Wooyoung’s jaw clenches, “sometimes bad things fall apart for good things to fall into place.” Your heart stops for a second as the words leave his mouth. It was something your mother used to say when you were younger. You aren’t sure if it was his words or the way he was caressing your hands in his, but something made you not able to move an inch. “I think…”

Abruptly your words are cut off by the sound of the front door opening, and some noisy voices entering into the building. Looking between Yeosang and Wooyoung, you realise the rest of the house was finished with their classes and now home. Much to your dismay, you were hoping to only have to talk to one or two people today. Silently hoping that none of them go to this room, you take your hands away from Yeosang’s grasp wiping the sweat on the sides of your legs. Yet your hopes are crushed when you hear multiple footsteps pounding around outside. Of course, this room had to be so close to the kitchen. You hear a familiar voice call out for Wooyoung and Yeosang, causing your heart to clench momentarily. They seem to notice your behaviour change, not answering the call, still studying your body language, and trying to figure out how to get you out of this situation. Their efforts are futile though, as you hear a knocking on the door.

“Don’t tell me you are dwelling in this room waiting for,” the door opens, and you see San scanning the room. His eyes widen as he makes eye contact with you, not being able to believe you are here.

“___? You came?” His voice is soft yet the hints of enthusiasm that spill through his cold exterior are unmistakeable. It’s the first time you’ve seen San since the tutoring session, however, you aren’t as ecstatic as you thought you’d be to see him again, wishing it was under different circumstances.

Not grasping how to proceed, all you do is wave in response, a forced smile plastered on your features. Fortunately for you, San is fairly able to read the situation, noticing the way your body is tensed up and uncomfortable. He too speedily tries to think of a way to help you, but unfortunately, the only way to get out is through the kitchen it seems hopeless, and he isn’t about to let you go out through the window, as much as you’d gladly throw yourself out right now.

“Sannie what is taking so long?” You hear another familiar voice get closer to the door. Realising there is no way out of this situation, you grudgingly decide to trail the three men out of the room headed for the kitchen. As your eyes make contact with the kitchen, you see five men either sitting or standing around the island, talking boisterously about what seems to be for dinner tonight. Groceries are laid across the island in multiple plastic bags. You can recognise Jongho and Mingi, which makes you feel a little at ease, yet when your eyes land on Hongjoong, your heart races even quicker remembering the act with him two days ago. You immediately take your eyes away from him and that’s when your eyes land on two unfamiliar faces, they must be Seonghwa and Yunho. They both have black hair and are undeniably stunning. It is Jongho who looks towards where you and the three others are entering, his smile growing on his face when he sees his roommates, the first time you’ve seen his full smile and it makes you comprehend how close they must all be. Luckily, none of the men in the kitchen sees you half hiding behind Yeosang.

“What took you so long?,” he says, feigning annoyance. At that moment all the guys look at you, and you hide entirely behind Yeosang, not knowing what to do. It’s one thing being with three of the Ateez members, let alone all of them in one space.

“Who is that?” You hear Mingi's query. ‘Fuck’ you think, knowing he noticed you, even though you were expertly disappeared behind Yeosang’s broad figure. Wooyoung looks to his left and observes you almost flat against Yeosang’s back, concealing from the view. His attempts to hold back his laugh and it does not go ignored by the five men in the kitchen.

San bends down slightly to meet your ear, “Just come out, nothing bad is going to happen.” His voice is again soothing and calm, only you Wooyoung and Yeosang hear it.

Not realizing you are hiding behind him, Yeosang turns to see what is occurring behind his back. Due to his motion, you are uncovered to the five men residing in the kitchen. As their eyes meet you, there are mixed responses seen across the room. Jongho’s smile spreads throughout his face, Mingi has a sort of shocked-glad look adorning his expression, and you swear you see the corners of Hongjoong’s lip turn up ever so vaguely. However, the two men you are new to have unreadable looks on their faces. A deathly silence follows your reveal behind Yeosang, and he feels extremely guilty for uncovering your concealment.

Before you can say hello, one of the two unidentified faces stands up from his chair behind the island, and you notice he is incredibly tall and well-built, he is undeniably the tallest of the group, his height reaching above Mingi’s.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” His voice is venomous and cruel. He does not utter another word before storming past San, bumping roughly into his shoulder, definitely on purpose. Then disappearing into one of the bedrooms behind you. Sighs are heard from the kitchen, some seeming shocked yet some of them appear as if they expected it.

Looking over to your left, confusion on your face, you go to ask San if he is okay from the impact of the tall male.

“I’m fine,” San replies, his scowl being replaced by a light smile, momentarily feeling delighted you are concerned about his health. You fail to notice the way the six others in the room frown at the man who has your consideration.

“San,” Hongjoong speaks out, getting the notice of the male next to you. His voice is authoritative and sharp, but not in a foul-mouthed way. Rolling his eyes, San moves away from you and towards the room where the man who just stormed off was residing in. Gently, Wooyoung places his hand on the small of your back, guiding you towards the kitchen, his fingers on fire from the contact with you.

“So how do you like the house? I’m sure Wooyoung and Yeosang have given you a good tour?” Hongjoong asks you as you are still in your place, Wooyoung swiftly takes a place to your right whereas Hongjoong takes a place to your left. Yeosang grumbles as he makes his way towards the empty seat across the island.

“Um yes, it’s lovely.” You reply, your voice is hushed and soft. Hongjoong’s look is unfazed.

“That’s great. So, when are you moving in?” He is straightforward with his words and the inquiry hangs in the room causing the others to become tense for your reply, not sure if you are moving in or not. The harsh actions of the man bounce around in your brain, and you are not even sure if it was Yunho or Seonghwa, or if that was even their name.

“It’s a great place but isn’t it going to look kind of weird if I’m living with eight guys?” you reply truthfully, deciding to ignore your many thoughts and questions about what just happened. You are hoping for people to not be assuming things, if you were to live here, you’d prefer people not to know. Knowing that if it got out you were living with them, then the attention directed towards you would be extreme and way too much for you to handle.

This time Wooyoung replies “We thought you might say that. But it’s not like you have to share a bed with any of us,” he bends down to your level once again, “unless you want to.”

You are extremely taken by surprise by this comment, your cheeks heating up almost instantly. It’s the first time anyone has ever spoken to you like this and you definitely have no idea how to react.

Noticing your stunned expression, Mingi quickly steps in, “he’s just joking, don’t take anything he says too seriously.” Rolling his eyes, Wooyoung moves away from your frame, resting down on the barstool next to you.

“I see this is what you meant by overbearing?” You ask Hongjoong, half joking, half serious. However, the look on Wooyoung’s face, when the word comes out of your mouth, is too amusing to not laugh at. He has an open mouth and places his hand over his heart, simulating to be offended.

“In a way, yes,” Hongjoong responds, his lips twitching up a little.

“To answer your question,” you start, all the men in the room holding their breaths in suspense, not knowing what the answer would be, “if I am to move in here, I want to ask some questions, if that’s okay.”

They breathe out slowly in relief, it’s not a definitive no, they still have a chance.

“What would those be?” You look over to the person who asked the question, it is the man you are unfamiliar with. His voice is deep but smooth, like honey. For the first time, your eyes make direct contact with his and for some reason it feels like it’s not the first time your eyes have met his. It feels like there are lost memories in his eyes, and if you look close enough, you will be able to recover them. There is a strong emotion on his face, it’s concentrated and undeniable, yet you can’t quite grasp what exactly the emotion is. You stare long into his deep eyes, wanting some sort of answer to a question you don’t even know the words to. Swiftly you break the eye contact, avoiding getting lost in the familiarity of his gaze. The small interaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the group and they are momentarily worried that there was something wrong, or maybe that you realised something.

“Um, well first I want to know if I’m allowed to have friends over?” You query, hoping they say yes. If you are going to live here, you better be able to have Jisung over. Sleepovers are a must for the two, if you need the space from everything to just be together and talk about all the little things.

“It’s preferred not,” Hongjoong answers directly. Immediately feeling a little bummed, you start to frown, making a mental tally of the pros and cons.

“But if it’s only Jisung it’s okay. As long as you let us know if he’s coming over.” Jongho quickly adds, ignoring the way Hongjoong sends a deathly glare in his direction. Jongho sends the look back, knowing he is in the right. Nodding at the extra information, you think about your next question.

“What is food like here, do we buy food separately and eat by ourselves or do we share?”

It is silent for a second before Hongjoong answers, it seems like he is the one in charge of the way things roll around here. Makes sense why they call him ‘captain’ “We eat breakfast and lunch separately most of the time, but for dinner, we will always eat together, unless we are busy with work or assignments.” You find this sweet and smile to yourself hearing this answer. It’s been a while since you’ve eaten dinner with people like a family. Always liking communal dinners, this goes as a pro in your books.

“I have some things I want though, if I am to move here.” You declare, trying to sound as authoritative as Hongjoong, but likely failing. Yet, the men around you nod and let you continue, with smiles on their faces.

“It sounds dumb, but you’d have to knock on my door before entering.”

“Done.”

“No eating my food if it’s in the fridge.”

This time Yeosang talks up, “We have some rules about that too, just make sure you put your name on it, and then it’s yours.”

Mingi also adds to the conversation, “And if it’s in there for longer than a week then we throw it out, just so we don’t have unnecessary space being filled.” This makes you feel relieved, glad that it is somehow so organized in this house. In your past experiences in shared dorms, you have always seemed to have bad luck with roommates. Eating your food, being unnecessarily noisy at ungodly hours, being overall dickheads and just nuisances.

“We have a question.” The nameless man is talking now, you try to make eye contact with him yet fail miserably, resorting to just nodding in his direction, hoping he doesn’t take it as being rude. “If you have any issues like illnesses or allergies, we’d like to know just in case we need to avoid certain foods and things?”

“Well, I don’t have any illnesses or allergies, just some problems with mental health I guess.” You disclose, uncomfortable to be sharing this information with so many strangers at once. Some part of you wonders why you even said it. They did not need to know that they meant physical illnesses. Whatever, if they are going to be your roommates they might as well know, you guess. The shoulders of the man who questioned you drop slightly, yet strangely he nods as if he already knew the answer. Luckily, they do not ask further questions about your mental state, much to your relief.

“Any more questions?” Hongjoong inquires.

“Please don’t go into my room without my permission. It’s not like I’m hiding anything, I just need the privacy.”

“That’s fine, we also prefer it that way too, snooping in other rooms is not acceptable here.” Hongjoong reacts to your statement causing you to nod and beam gratefully for the consideration.

“What do I have to do regarding the rent payments? Would I need to go somewhere so they can process my move?”

“We have that sorted out already, all you would need to do is sign a form and contract which I can show you later.”

“Okay fine.” You utter, almost as if you were holding in a breath for years. Around you, the five men look positive, hoping what you’re leading to is what they desire to hear. You continue, “When can I move in?”

Wooyoung and Mingi jump up from their chairs, Yeosang sits up straight, not believing his ears, Jongho and the nameless man seem to share a relieved look, and for the first time, you see Hongjoong’s smile reaches his eyes.

“I have one last question though,” You start speaking again looking towards the male who you have not met before, “I’m sorry I don’t know your name yet.”

His eyes open hugely, and he answers, “When they said you didn’t know about us, they weren’t lying,” he rises from his chair and makes his way toward you, making you ever more confused as to why his face is so familiar, reaching out his hand softly to shake yours, “I’m Seonghwa, and the other guy was Yunho.”

Taking his hand in yours, you shake his hand with a small smile on your face, when he smiles back, you swear you could’ve fainted from his beauty. You are starting to understand why this whole group is so popular. Seonghwa lets go of your hand gently, before turning back to his chair and sitting back down, though the beam on his features does not falter as he keeps secretly stealing glances at you. Deciding to reply to his comment, you speak up, “As I’ve said before, I live under a rock,”

“She said she doesn’t give a shit about us,” Wooyoung says, teasing you further.

“Hey, I said that I didn’t care about all the gossip and group stuff, and with no offence,” You glare playfully at him, bringing your finger up to your mouth to jokingly signal him to keep his mouth closed. His smile is contagious as he reaches up and ruffles the top of your head, the action making your heart skip a few beats. Immediately looking down at your hands, avoiding Wooyoung’s eyes, you miss the envious stares pointed at the second youngest.

“Do you not care about the rumours surrounding us?” This time it’s Mingi who talks. As fast as you can blink, the entire room is thick with tension, and you can feel the glares pointed towards the man who spoke up. Pondering on your answer for a second you decide to answer truthfully.

“I’ll be honest, I was a little worried,” The men around you deflate with sadness filling their hearts, and Yeosang and Mingi start to feel the familiar anxious feeling in their throats. You resume talking, “But in the end, rumours are just rumours, it’s up to the person hearing them whether they believe it or not.”

“What do you believe?” Seonghwa is quiet as he speaks, careful with his words. It is deathly silent in the room and you start to wonder why they care so much about the way you view them.

“I’m not sure.”

Wooyoung’s eyes start to sting, thinking of any way he can to make you change your mind, to see him for him.

“But so far, I like you guys, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. For now.” For the nth time today, the boys let out deep breaths they didn’t realise they were even holding in.

“So do we have to get into your good books then?” Yeosang jokes, leaning on the island with his arms, breaking the tension and causing small chuckles to sound across the room. At this moment, for a split second, you’re incredibly impressed by the fact they barely speak over each other, always letting each other speak without being ignored. They have likely known each other for a long time, you conclude.

“If you’re up for a challenge? Go ahead.”

“I like our odds.” Hongjoong turns towards you, leaning his body towards the island, smirking lightly. You are confused by Hongjoong’s behaviour and the way it seems to change so easily, but you are guessing you may have to get accustomed to it. The look he gives you is intense and almost seductive, if you’d stare any longer you likely would fall for him. Swiftly looking away, you glance towards your watch to check the time, 17:13.

“How much stuff do you have to move here?” San appears from around the corner, his ears are red and his hair is slightly ruffled, it looks like they had an intense discussion in there, he doesn’t look upset, but there is some emotion along his features, however, it is extremely unreadable and confusing.

“I only have a suitcase of clothes.”

“Do you not have any other furniture?”

“It was burned down in the fire, but the owners of the building are going to reimburse me for the lost things. I just need to go shopping when I have the money and the time.”

All seven men nod in understanding, and then Hongjoong speaks up. “If you want to move in this evening that’s fine with me. Yunho and I will go and help you grab your suitcase.”

“Oh, it’s okay, I can grab it myself, but I appreciate the offer.” It’s one thing to be travelling across campus with two of the members of Ateez, let alone people seeing them walk into your temporary dorm room. Already knowing whispers are going around about Hongjoong entering your class and demanding to speak with you, you aren’t too eager to fuel people’s gossiping needs. You also would rather avoid the person who just stormed out of the room with a bitter look on his face. Not wanting to start anything unnecessary.

“It’s really fine, I’ll get Yunho now,” Hongjoong insists, moving to go towards the room where Yunho is residing, he gets halted in his movements as said man appears in the kitchen.

“If you think I’m going anywhere with her you are wrong, the last thing we need is more rumours being spread so she can get her fifteen seconds of fame.” Yunho’s glare pierces through you, his full height peering down at you, causing you to feel incredibly small.

“Yunho we are going.” Hongjoong declares, his voice easily matching his.

“In your dreams,” The tall male walks nearer to you, stopping when he is directly in front of you. Wooyoung rises from his seat and tries to push Yunho back slightly, but he is overpowered by the taller man. Behind you, the rest of the males stand up from their chairs ready to intervene if things go wrong, yet knowing Yunho, they doubt he would ever hurt you physically. Yunho carries on speaking, “Just because they let you in here doesn’t mean you are welcome.”

“Yunho.” Hongjoong’s voice is stern and threatening, attempting to make Yunho back up. You flinch from the sharpness of Hongjoong’s voice.

“Just because they are nice to you, doesn’t mean I will ever be. You are nothing, you will never be. Stop trying to get into our pants and leave us alone.”

“Yunho, stop.” Seonghwa’s voice booms in the background, causing you to flinch again, yet your eyes cannot break contact with the tall man in front of you. The nerves in your body are on fire, you start to feel nauseous and dizzy. This situation reminds you severely of some of the past encounters you have had with your father. Yunho doesn’t spare a glance toward the two eldest males, his eyes solely focused on you. Finally, he starts to step back slowly. Letting out a scoff at your scared frame, he walks away, back to the room where he emerged from.

Feeling overwhelmed with emotions, you have no idea what to do other than speed to the exit of the house. Seonghwa attempts to stop you as you flee, yet you slip past him. Hongjoong storms after Yunho, slamming the door behind him, making you flinch even more. Feeling tears prick your eyes, you’re hit with flashbacks from long ago which you have tried so hard to push to the back of your mind. Hurriedly pulling on your shoes, not even bothering to grab your jacket on the coat stand, you escape from the house, tears running freely from your eyes. Seonghwa quickly runs after you, reaching you under the light of a dimly light streetlight.

“___.” Seonghwa’s voice calls out from behind you. “___,” he calls one more time before gently grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him. Seeing the tears fall from your eyes makes his heart clench impossibly hard.

“Please come back, you shouldn’t be walking around alone when it’s dark.” Seonghwa is softly spoken, his hand not leaving your upper arm, his thumb unconsciously stroking your exposed skin.

“Look I know you’re not stupid, so if you were in my situation, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to live with someone who just talked to you as if you are nothing more than the dirt underneath their shoe.”

“He doesn’t mean it, trust me. He just has trouble with new people.” Seonghwa tries to explain.

“So do I, but you don’t see me talking to people like they are pieces of shit?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve let someone in our house, let alone live in it. The last time it happened, it didn’t work out too well, he’s just trying to prevent something wrong from happening.” Your features soften slightly at this admission, but still not enough for you to even think about forgiving Yunho and his actions.

“I know I said I was maybe going to live with you guys, but if he is going to be like that all the time, I am not going to able to handle that. It’s too similar, to him, I can’t relive that. You can’t make me relive that.” Your breathing becomes uneven as your throat tightens up in a familiar feeling of panic, flashbacks of the past flashing in your eyes. Dropping down to your knees, Seonghwa catches you in his arms, cradling your limp body. He understands your feelings, and your pain, more than you know. Yet, all he can do right now is comfort you, stroking up slowly up and down your back. Unbeknownst to you, Jongho walks out of the building, your jacket in his hands. Seeing you on the floor, tears falling from your eyes makes his chest tighten. Jongho reaches the two of you, bending down to squat at your level, he wraps your jacket around your shoulders. ‘

“Let’s get your stuff here so you can go to sleep early.” Jongho’s voice is gentle, just above a whisper, he sees you flinch at the thought of going back to the house which makes his chest hurt even more

“Hongjoong is dealing with Yunho, you don’t have to worry about him. You can trust me, ___. Hongjoong has a way of disciplining us” Jongho grabs one of your balled-up fists and helps you to stand up, Seonghwa momentarily missing the warmth of your body against his.

“We will come with you to get your things. I know you’re likely worried about people seeing us with you, we don’t blame you, you don’t want to be a target.” Jongho says.

Wiping away your tears, and calming your breath, you manage to get some words out, “I don’t care about becoming a target, I’m just not a fan of people talking about me behind my back.” I explain.

They both nod in understanding and then Seonghwa says, “You can’t have nowhere to live, ___. We can both promise that Yunho will never speak to you like that again.”

Reluctantly, you nod in agreement. “Okay.” You are surprised by the way you believe the two men so easily, trusting them faster than you have ever trusted anyone before. Of course, not fully, but you can see yourself trusting them in the future, which is weird to you. Very weird.

_______

Walking to the student dorms was an interesting experience, you get to talk to Seonghwa a little bit more learning he is taking an accounting course whilst Jongho is taking a marine biology course. What is interesting is the way they walk so closely to you, since you are outside of the school campus, you don’t mind the looks of random people who you are very sure don’t attend your school.

What you fail to observe is the way they glare at all the males who dare to look towards your direction, moving closer to your smaller frame. However, when you enter the front gate to the campus, the distance between the three of you disperses almost immediately. You feel glad that the two who took you are so understanding of your boundaries and wishes. Strolling behind you, Seonghwa and Jongho are in a distant chat, acting as if they don’t know who you are and just happened to enter at similar times. It makes you feel comfortable and pleased by the kind gestures they show. The trip to the residences is going smoothly until you are suddenly stopped by a very familiar face.

Your walking stops immediately, causing the two walking behind you to halt extremely fast, almost making the youngest trip over as the elder grabs his arm and pulls him to the bush to their left.

“Jeongin! What are you doing here?” You ask the white-haired male, glancing towards the bush where the two men have just bolted for, you see the head of Jongho sticking out slightly and start to worry. Peering back at Jeongin, his smile is contagious, his dimples showing on his cheeks, and you briefly forget the situation.

“I was looking for you, I need some help with this dumb biology lab report, I’ve calculated the results from the experiment over ten times and they are all coming back as inconsistent or inconclusive, I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. I was wondering if you could help me?” Jeongin looks desperate as he hands you his tablet displaying multiple tables with numbers displayed on the screen.

“When is the report due?” You question, praying it isn’t before midnight tonight.

“It’s due on Sunday, before midnight.” He tells you. Glancing down at your watch, you see it’s currently Friday. Perfect.

“Are you free tomorrow? I am a little busy right now.”

“I’m free in the morning, but in the afternoon, I have a date.” You raise your eyebrow at him, slightly proud of him for getting himself a date, knowing his awkwardness around people he has an interest in.

“I’ll see you in the morning then. Meet me in the library at ten?” The boy seems restless, obviously worried about this lab report.

“Hey Jeongin, it’s okay,” you place a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, “we will work it out, just try to get some rest tonight, you need to look good for the lucky person.” At this the young male smiles and gives you, his thanks. He bids you a goodbye, before walking away, likely to his residency.

Looking around you for any sign of people, then surely there is no one near, you make your way to the bush and the sight almost makes you topple over with amusement. Jongho has his head in the bush, yet his entire body is showing, and Seonghwa is lying flat on the grass face down, his body straight and stiff.

“You guys can come out.” You can barely hold back your laughter, tears forming in your eyes. Jongho immediately appears from the bush, his hair messy leaves entwined in his brown locks. Seonghwa takes his time standing up, rubbing his back and complaining about his stiffness.

“For a group of people who is supposedly terrifying, you guys aren’t that scary at all,” you admit, reaching into Jongho’s hair to take out the loose leaves. Seonghwa secretly curses at the younger, wishing he was the one who put his head in the bush.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Jongho says, cheeks red from your actions, “Who was that by the way?”

Seonghwa and Jongho both have curious looks on their faces, mixed with something else unreadable. You are starting to get tired of the difficulty reading the eight men you’ve briefly met.

“That was Jeongin, he’s in the same friend group as Jisung,”

“Are you guys close?” Seonghwa asks, acting as if he isn’t interested but you can tell he is slightly curious.

“Not particularly, he comes to me for advice with dating sometimes, he always ends up dating guys who are huge red flags.”

The two men in front of you let out ohs of realisation, feeling suddenly embarrassed about their questions.

“Okay, you guys wait here whilst I get my suitcase.” You turn towards the entrance of the building, but quickly you revolve back around to face Seonghwa and Jongho, “stay away from the bushes.”

The trip to Yeji’s apartment is quick, just throwing the last few things into the suitcase before zipping it up and trudging it down the stairs because of course, the elevator is never in order. As you reach the exit, you use your back to open the door. Weirdly, as you look around, you don’t see the two you left there earlier. You start to think they have abandoned you leaving you to walk back all alone. Or maybe they don’t even want you to come to their house, only playing around with you. They only wanted you to feel secure so they could play with your heart.

“You look lost in thought.” A deep voice is heard from your right, as you look over you see Seonghwa with Jongho and your worries quickly melt away.

“I was starting to think you had left me alone.” You admit, feeling relieved they didn’t disappear into thin air. Your anxious overthinking dispersing very quickly.

“Sorry, we saw a group of people walk out of the building, so we quickly went to the back,” Jongho explains, feeling upset that they made you second-doubt them.

Jongho holds your suitcase, even though you told him not to, he simply ignores your complaints as he walks with it. The way back home is similar to the walk there, however, this time Seonghwa and Jongho pay more attention to their surroundings, knowing there will likely be some creepy men around this area during the late hours of the night, and make sure you feel safe with them. During the quiet walk home, you take this time to think about the past few hours, from arriving at the house to the tour and the occurrence with Yunho. At this moment you decide that you’re not going to cower down from Yunho, you will just live with it. You’ve done it before; you can do it again. Besides, you’re not alone, you have at least seven people who will be kind and welcoming to you. If this is the price you have to pay for an amazing accommodation, then so be it.

The second you reach the house, Mingi throws open the door, extremely relieved you decided to return, his smile covering his entire face.

“I made your bed up, I had some spare bedsheets so that’s what’s on your bed for the time being. We can go shopping for some ones that you like when you have the time.” Mingi smiles at you as you make your way back into the house. When Jongho and Seonghwa send him pointed glares, he simply winks at them, proud he was the first to add something of his own to your room. Jongho lifts your suitcase to your room, causing you to thank him profusely. Mingi and Seonghwa follow closely behind you into your room.

“Do you need help unpacking?” San asks, his head popping around your doorframe.

“I think I’ve got it but thank you.” You reply, hoping they drop the subject.

“Are you sure? We’d be happy to help.” Seonghwa insists, hoping you say yes, just so he can spend more time with you.

“As much as I appreciate it, I’d prefer to sort out some of my clothes myself.” You admit, heat crawling up your neck. Immediately, the four men around you realise the meaning behind your statement, and apologies spill from their mouths too, hoping you didn’t view them as some form of perverts. When you start laughing, their hearts swell, happy they didn’t make anything too awkward. Eventually, you manage to usher them out of the room so you can start organizing your things. It takes about five minutes before you get a knock on your door, feeling a little exhausted from the constant attention, you take your time to make your way to open the door. When you open the door, Wooyoung stands there, a flustered smile placed on his features. In his hand is a plate of food. You momentarily feel bad for taking your time to unlock the door.

“We ate dinner when you were fetching your things, I made sure to leave you some. Next time we will eat dinner all together.” He hands you the plate, it is full of a delicious meal, much fancier than all of the instant meals you buy from the supermarket.

“Thank you Wooyoung.” You gratefully take the plate from him.

“Enjoy.” He says before closing the door behind him as he leaves.

You take your time eating the food, revelling in how delicious it is. It’s the first time in a while that you have had a homecooked meal and it warms up your entire body. You could get used to this.

When you finish your meal, you go to the kitchen to wash up your plate and get a drink of water. After washing your plate, you look up at the vast number of cupboards in the kitchen, not remembering the one which holds the glasses. Opening a few, you see plates, bowls, spices, pasta but no glasses.

“Looking for a glass?” A voice speaks from behind you, shocking you, causing you to almost scream out in surprise. You rapidly turn around to see who it is who spoke.

“I’m sorry, did I scare you?” the owner of the voice is Hongjoong. His face has an amused grin plastered on it.

“Uh yeah, sorry I wasn’t expecting you to just appear behind me.”

Hongjoong is standing directly against the island, just about a metre between the two of you. Silently, you wonder how on earth he managed to get there without you hearing him.

Instead of going around you to grab a glass, he steps forward, his chest almost colliding with yours, trapping you between the counter behind you and his strong frame. Reaching up, he opens the cupboard directly above your head and takes out a glass, placing it on the counter behind you.

When he looks down at you, your eyes are once again getting entranced by his deep pools of honey. Once again, his eyes are familiar to you. The familiarity of his eyes draws you in impossibly close, your mind racing around various memories to see if you can find a match for the mysterious eyes. Where have you seen them before? It’s almost as if you’ve seen them in a dream, vivid in consciousness yes when you try to remember details, it renders empty in your head. Trying to focus on the situation at hand, you stop your attempts of racking your brain for lost information.

Concentrating back on the man in front of you, he makes you feel awfully small once again. Hongjoong isn’t tall, but the way he’s peering down at you, trapping your body against his, makes him feel at least six feet tall.

“Thank you,” you manage to get out, before turning around and grabbing the glass with a deadly grip.

Hongjoong moves back to his previous position, resting back against the island. His eyes follow you as you fill the glass with water.

“Do you like your room?” Hongjoong is calm as he speaks, acting as if nothing had just happened.

“Yes, it’s lovely.” You reply, cursing yourself in your head telling your brain to make your cheeks cool down.

“That’s great to hear. I hope your bed is nice enough for you, I found it super comfortable.”

“Oh yeah! The bed is super comfortable.” Suddenly, his words hit you and they render in your mind, “How do you know it’s comfortable?”

“It used to be my room, the bed too,” Hongjoong confesses, smirking at the way your body language becomes flustered. This explains why the sheets were messy earlier, but that also means he was sleeping in it today. This very statement causes your mind, to again, burst up into a spiral of thoughts. Did Hongjoong give up his room for you? Of course not, why would he ever do that?

“Oh, that’s nice.” Your head is abruptly full of thoughts of Hongjoong residing in your bed. Why are you even thinking about that? It’s not like he is going to be in your bed from now on.

“I’ll let you get to sleep, tomorrow dinner is at seven. Are you able to make that?” The man with dirty blonde hair asks.

You can only nod in response, your words jumbled in your brain. Luckily you only have one class tomorrow, it finishes late, but you can for sure make it for seven.

Hongjoong’s lips turn up ever so slightly, and he nods back at you before departing the kitchen. As he leaves, you watch his figure move towards the staircase, not able to think straight. You would have been better off not knowing the information he just provided. Why would he even give up his room in the first place, did he move out of it because there was something wrong with it? Maybe there are cockroaches in the room. Then you remember where your house is, there is no chance there are cockroaches in such a clean house. What if Seonghwa and Yunho are super loud? Whatever it is, you are likely to find out soon. Now you wish you had asked Hongjoong why he moved out of the room. You decide to ask him another time, not keen on walking up the stairs after him just to ask one question.

Trudging back to your room, you place your glass on your bedside table and grab your phone that was charging. You immediately message Jisung, telling him that you two needed to talk tomorrow. If there’s anyone you can talk about anything to, it’s your best friend. While Jisung is a little immature and chaotic, he is a great listener when he wants to be. Even if he is sometimes all over the place, his advice is most of the time very good and reasonable.

Jisung immediately sends a message asking if you want to talk now, yet the tiredness of the relentless day has caught up to you and you manage to send him one more message before carrying out your night-time routine. Almost jumping into the huge bed, you’re pleasantly surprised by the rich scent emitting from the sheets. Remembering they are Mingi’s sheets, and also Hongjoong’s bed you feel flustered for being so close to something so personal to the boys. However, your thoughts simply disappear as you feel your eyes starting to get heavier. As you fall into a deep sleep, your mind replays the events of the day, you are excited about the future of you living here. Yet the nervousness residing in the bottom of your stomach is still there, yet you have high hopes it will slowly disappear.

----

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ruiimellowww · 6 months

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Okay HI hello 👋👋

I saw ur art about Sun & Moon through a reblog and I am such a simp for those two omg so here's a rant :33

(Also if you're not comfy with this pls ignore this rant then, and I am so sry if that is the case!! Will stop immediately if you tell me to /srs)

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CAN I JUST SAY I am sosososososo in love with your desgin for the dca cuz holy shit I have never seen anything hotter. O.O LIKEEE THE HUMANOID VERSION??!?!!?? UGH soooo goooodd 🥵🥵 I love the designs and the- the little EARRINGS as well?!??! Omg sooooo cutee aaaaaa 💞💞

and-and omigosh UR ART IS SO GOOD AS WELL!?!? I straight up just wanna munch it. I am eating ur art fr. In LOVE with ur artstyle it's so yummy 😍

Anywhoooo I also scrolled through your dca tag aND *GASP* ECLIPSE?????? 😍😍AND I?? WANNA??? BE ENVELOPED????? BY HIMM??? (I feel like mans would give THE BEST cuddles on the planet!!!)

HOLLLYYYY SHITTTT thE SIZEEEEEEE

Big tall omigoshhhhhhHHH M- my brain- my heart my- mY EVERYThIng is mELTING! ! ! ! ! Literally his size just does something to me I cannot comprehend why omigosh

(*lays in a puddle on the floor*)

I can imagine sosososo many different scenarios where that height could be used aaaaa >~< <333 ;P

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Omg if you have any HCs (and *wanna* share, ofc.) about him (Or about Sun & Moon) I'd love to listen to you ramble about them??? <333

So curious about ur HCs & would absolutely love any crumbs about the dca ksskksskkdkdjdks ❤️😂

Uhm uhm first off, thank you so much I can't rlly put into words how sweet this is and I totally don't mind the rambles because me too. And also because its been YEARS since I last used Tumblr or did anything answering Ask is a bit tough for me.. MmMM

Although I don't have many HC at the moment.. I can however give you a little insight I have regarding my Human DCA :]

Moondrop (Moon) and Sundrop

- when I first designed Moon (after the game came out) he had a much wilder look to him, especially the face because I was really into the idea of him being simply insane hence the red.

- later when i got back to his design and adding colours I thought that it would be fun to make it Blue and white themed, which I actually didn't see a lot back then

- he wasn't supposed to look human even as a Humanoid, I liked to think that Sun & Moon simply had a renovated body. They are just as much Animatronics as they had always been, robotic parts and everything but with a bit of twist

- So then onto Sun.. the thing is its sad to say but I never explored much with Sun's design back then as much as I did with Moon, so I can't provide a good reference

- although I had a rough idea of how sun would look like I never quite liked the way I drew him, so he's always somewhat been stuck in this unfinished stage

- Then there was eclipse, who was my absolute FAVORITE at that time, I don't think I loved a character MORE THAN ECLIPSE EVER when I was drawing him out

- yes!! It was very much inspired by the 3D render shown here as the ref, though I did make some changes of my own to the design as well

- I had a lot in my head when I was drawing him, but the one thing that I loved most about this design still to thisq day is rhe face. The way I him to look back then was sort of a mix between my Sun and Moon designs, only leaning more towards Sun in colours and Moon in appearance with the crazed look in his eyes

The height was just a funny little thing I thought of, cuz imagine this giant fkn ahh robot just comes in here and picks you up 💀 god I would piss myself

Cough..

So in regards to the new design, I did kind of get rid of the animatronic feel to him that I had done with the DCA and his old design, all of them now look a whole lot more Human which is what I intended for

Eclipse has a few scars around his body; right forearm, left side of his torso that leads all the way up to his chest. Plus a bit of his face that is burnt which you can't exactly see because of the Black spots

Overall I like my newer designs quite a lot and has also changed a lot, this is probably the most insight you'll get out of me abt my art 😭😭 cuz I don't usually ramble this much otherwise

I might come up with some head canons at a later date, but they'll be fun thats for sure ;)

#rants n rambles #ruiis art #digital art #fnaf security breach #humanoid #moondrop #sundrop #eclipse #eclipse fnaf #fnaf daycare attendant #DCA

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sapphire-weapon · 11 months

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what are your thoughts on the horniness and thirst around leon since the remake came out? and all of the content that comes with it (reader inserts, actual animated p0rn etc)? i saw some teens complaining that it was weird and 'ruining the fandom' - but i didn't really think anything of it since, yk, fandoms are gonna fandom, it is what it is (and it's leon so, it's not surprising).

i remember you mentioning that back in 2005, it was very hard for RE fans to talk abt leon outside of his relationship to ada, so i was also wondering how the fandom dealt with general leon-induced horniness back in the day

oh, this might be my favorite ask I've gotten in a while.

/gleefully rubs hands together

First off, teenagers need to shut the fuck up about the fandom. There used to be a time when you'd go into the Resident Evil tag here on Tumblr and you'd get a bunch of weird model viewer porn of Chris banging Dante or someshit. Early RE fandom was filled with a bunch of zombie-on-Jill (and later, Claire) porn. Sometimes it was even zombie dog porn. I don't wanna hear shit about anything porn-related from some fuckin kids who don't know just how depraved this fandom has been. This fandom was built on fucked up porn.

So, in a similar vein, that Leon thirst has always been there. Always, always, always. Do you think that Leon almost overthrew Chris as the face of Resident Evil because fans just... "liked his character"? NO. IT'S BECAUSE WE WANTED TO FUCK HIM. We wanted him in every hole, in every position, and we didn't care what we had to do to get Capcom to give him to us. The only reason why Chris was never dethroned was because the gays circled the wagons around him with RE5's release.

However.

Reader fics and self-inserts are a very new and recent phenomenon in fandom spaces. Even as recently as the mid-2010s, this was something unheard of. Fandom OCs were not okay. If you had a fandom OC, or if the fandom even suspected that you were self-inserting in any way, you got publicly shamed and sometimes even exiled from fandom spaces.

But there was one big, hypocritical problem with that mindset.

If you can't already see where this is going, let me help.

This is the reason why Aeon vs Cleon got as toxic and volatile as it was, back in the day.

Oh, yes. Fans would pick which of the two women they identified with more, and that ship became their vehicle for Leon smut. So, now, it wasn't just a ship. Now, it was personal -- because fans were using Ada or Claire to self-insert in a socially acceptable way. So, if someone rejected Cleon, and you were Team Cleon, chances are, you took that as someone saying "You're not good enough for Leon. You don't deserve him." -- even if you didn't consciously realize that that's what you were doing or how you were perceiving things.

Back in the days of LiveJournal, you found so many fics of just blatant OOC shit, because it wasn't really about Claire or Ada as characters. It never really was. Ada and Claire were just a means to the end goal that was Leon's cock.

So, if nothing else, modern-day fandom is a lot more honest.

Personally? I'll never be interested in reader fics because of how taboo it was for literally my entire life -- I will always see it as cringe, and I will always question that person's grasp on the line between fiction and reality, even though I know consciously that that's not fair for me to do, and that author isn't doing anything that I wasn't thinking about at their age. But prejudices gonna prejudice.

But I'm fucking stoked that I can talk openly about Leon's cock these days, and I don't have to filter it through some fucking ship that I don't care about. I can just sit here and say to you guys -- hey. I think Leon's into edging, and he secretly wants someone to make him beg, but he's too much of a control freak to allow it, so he just makes his partner beg instead. And no one fucking gives a shit!

It's so freeing. I'm so happy.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #honestly i'd talk about leon's cock way more if y'all would just fuckin ask me about it more LMAO

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emilyartstudio-s · 2 years

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Anny tips on tumblr posting im new to the platform and want people to see my art

Disclaimer: It is 100% okay to want attention on your work and to get people to like what you're making but remember to naturally not care about numbers because that is how you will loose your haPPINESS OF POSTING THE ART IN THE FIRST PLACE.. I recommend just posting and not paying attention to the number of followers you lose/ earn from posting. Go ahead and look at the number of notes on each post but Tumblr makes it so easy to hide the follower number away from you so just pretend it isn't there and just post whatever the heck you want!

TAGGING: So i heard a long time ago that tumblr only really counts the first five tags in your tagging bellow. If this is true; you'll want to tag the main important ones first. I usually go with (If it's sp related) South park, Any characters featured in it (Ship names if you think it appeals to that group since i personally love seeing random interactions in my ship tag art from others!!, stuff like that!!

Ship art honestly goes a long way lmao! I entered this fandom to just draw silly little comics from other media that i found funny but then i slowly started to show what my fave ships are from and people noticed and walked into MY TRAp. That's right here's another silly friendship comic instead >:)

SILLY COMICS ARE GREAT TBH!! People love laughing!!! tbh funny comics gets so much attention because people need to sit and read what you've done! :D Literally make a shit post on tik tok and everyone goes crazy;;; But you gotta like the outcome. It's got to be something that resonate with you even if it's a dumb comic lmao;;; I usually draw shit posts for myself when I'm feeling super down and then i just post it just in case someone else is having a shitty time;;;

Don't lose your authenticity and remember that other things play in the role as to why you feel like you're not growing in this fandom!

Examples include; tumblr isn't the roaring place it used to be now that most have moved on to tik tok or twitter. The number of followers you get don't mean anything to the ratio of the notes you receive. You can have 2,000 followers but get only like 5 notes because people aren't on/ are busy/ left a thousand years ago/ ect. so it's NEVER YOU <3!!!! Keep in mind of posting times! (look up posting times in 2022!!) I usually go for 5 pm Central time but 2 and 4 work great too!!

Don't be afraid to repost your own art again to meet that because omg if no one else will why not you???

and REMEBER to always be kind.

#asks #class 101 #lmao

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tadpolesonalgae · 6 months

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this might be kind of random but ive been reading acotar fics for a while and only found you recently and wondered why since you're really good and i think it might be because of the way you tag things? it feels like you tag things more to keep it here on your blog but it might not help with visibility. i think having azriel stories for example tagged with azriel x reader, azriel x you, azriel x y/n, azriel fic or azriel fanfiction, and then either azriel smut or azriel fluff or angst and after that the azriel acotar, azriel shadowsinger to identify the character (with eris and lucien fics it might be smart to have a set of eris x reader and of eris vanserra x reader and so on), then acotar fic oe acotar smut and then your personal tags for the blog. tumblr's tag system is honestly shit so ive heard people say sometimes only the first ones might work at first so it's smart to have this kind of order in case that happens. because the tags are weird it might be best to keep everything on it in lowercase (instead of Eris x reader just eris x reader) unless it's for you blog or like how you use CBMTHY. this is random but i wish i saw your stories in tag searches more often because they really are very good

Okay thank you so much for dropping in to explain this because honestly I still don’t really understand how tumblr works so thank you so much 🧡💛

Literally any advice or tips are so deeply appreciated (like I didn’t know you had to put in a ‘read more’ thing until a few months ago so help is always warmly welcomed) 😭

I’ll try switching up the way I tag things from now on as well as keeping things lower case and just see if anything changes, though I know algorithms and the way some sites work are a bit bizarre, but thank you so much for writing in to explain this 🧡💛

#anons <3 #writing #tumblr

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emberphantom · 1 year

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how long have you been a fan of iasip and how long on sunnyblr? do you know who here has been around for a long time? how has the fandom developed and changed from your perspective? has it always been so reddit-oriented? what have the main opinions (general consensus kinda shit) been in your eyes? were you into macdennis right from the start? did the fandom always follow rcg so closely or is that only after the podcast? sorry for asking so much, just interested in the history of this space

Step into my office Anon. Let me regale you the tale of Sunnyblr from the days of yore. Or whatever.

Me personally, I started watching Sunny in late summer 2019 (tragically I had just missed the fake MacDennis script panic of July 2019). My friends had it on when I went to their house and we didn't have anything else to do, so we just watched like a shitton of episodes that day and I was like hold fuck on this scratches something in my brain. I didn't start poking around on the Sunny side of tumblr until possibly a week later? I think. Basically in my skipping around Sunny episodes I was starting to pick up the vibes Mac and Dennis were putting down and as a joke I was like hmm what if I just take a look at the ao3 tag ahaha jk unless. And that was the beginning of the end. I'm not sure if I checked out the Sunny tag on tumblr first or the MacDennis tag but literally at that time it didn't matter. Sunnyblr was essentially MacDennisblr. Tumblr didn't get me into MacDennis but it definitely accelerated my hyperfixation with them This was all pre-s14 at this point for reference.

Honestly, not many people remain from that time or even before. I remember some folks I had followed reminiscing about post-s12, wondering if Dennis was coming back, or if he turned into the bar. Idk man I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with not knowing if Dennis was coming back like that would've been too much for me.

But 2019 Sunnyblr, and this may just be the nostalgia talking, but man it was magical. The gif sets, the meta breakdowns of episodes, the macdennis posts--god we were eating GOOD. It felt like one giant group chat in the best way. And then The Gang Gets Romantic happens an we were absolutely FERAL. Okay? Like picture Nov 5th but on a way smaller scale. But that was the energy, okay?

But then, tragedy struck in the form of Dee Day. That, for me was kinda the beginning of the end of that version of Sunnyblr. A lot of people were pissed. The glass shelves we had propped RCG and Megan Ganz up on had shattered. A decent amount of people left right then and there. But those who stayed were holding out for something -- a better apology from them regarding the brownface for one. And that...didn't happen (I don't want to speak more on this bc like...look I'll be real with you, I stuck my head in the sand on this one. But people had a right to be hurt by that episode and to this day I haven't rewatched it since it aired). But we trudged along. Bc it's "satire" and these are "bad people" and we are DEF getting canon MacDennis okay they are going to KISS on the MOUTH in BIG MO.

....and then they didn't. Clown shoes squeaking.

Okay trying to get this back on track...

As far as reddit goes, that's always just been the "dudebro" place for Sunny. Sometimes they make valid points and our braincells align and that warrants someone posting it here to discuss.

I feel like the general opinions kinda feel the same to me? Mac and Dennis are endgame, Archie. Dennis is bastardman but also baby. Charlie poor little meow meow. I do have to say...I feel like some stuff used to feel a bit more...grounded than it does now?? If that makes sense? Like idk man people were out here writing academic prose to describe the meta in Clip Show. And I do feel like that vibe's kinda gone. But it's not a bad thing. It's just different. Like it's more unhinged but hey we're still having fun so who cares?

Uh what else? Oh yeah so the RCG stuff. Like I said before, there was a point where Sunnyblr propped them up and we got reality checked real quick, okay? They went from being UnProblematic Kings ™ to Rob posting copaganda on his IG at the height of the George Floyd protests in June of 2020. That happening after all the shit with Dee Day was basically a powder keg. And that's honestly when Sunnyblr as I knew it, really died.

I think the podcast has def shoved them back into a more favorable light in the fandom's eyes. Speaking for myself, I never stopped stanning Glenn but Rob and Charlie and Kait were on thin fucking ice (maybe not Charlie so much but def Rob and Kait--actually mostly Rob). I think RCG have to be prevalent in the fandom as much as the characters do bc they're so close to them and the show like this IS their show y'know?

That's...all I can really think of. Like I said, not many people remain from those days. I can think of maybe a handful off the top of my head but I wouldn't consider them nearly as active as they were regarding Sunny when I joined. We're still moots but that's bc we like each other beyond the MacDennis of it all.

Sorry this is so long too lmfao. Like Sunnyblr was such a huge part of my life during that time so I guess I got shit to say. I also for real in no way consider myself the end all be all expert on this either. Like in no way am I the sole authority on Sunnyblr history. This is based on stuff I experienced and picked up on from other's posts from before my time. Anybody can chime in with their own opinions and shit. Correct me too. Idc.

Uh yeah. So I guess that's what you missed on Glee. Or Sunnyblr. The end? I hope that helped (for real).

#allison answers shit #sunny asks #sunny #macdennis #long post

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noirapocalypto · 8 months

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First and only time I will ever speak out directly about fandom shit. Not tagging, reblogs off. Once this is posted, I'm moving on.

Since when is voicing a complaint about something concerning me-- that, let's be honest, I'm sure I'm not the only one to feel that way--attention seeking? I'm not at all asking for people to come coddle me. I was posting on my own blog, I wasn't tagging anyone, I wasn't naming names. But, venting and confiding in our own created safe spaces is a bad thing and a cause for vague posting? What's the logic there? Why was it hard to just quietly unfollow and just leave, without saying a word? I wouldn't have even known or noticed, honestly. It would not have been any problem what so ever. But I saw it, and I know it was aimed at something I said in my tags. And yeah, I'm sure me posting this is hypocritical as fuck. But Jesus Christ, I've kept 'neutral' and stayed in my lane far enough. For once, I'm standing up for myself.

It's not about 'attention seeking', it's not about 'Why am I not getting any notes??', it's not about any of that. It's never been about any of that. It's the fact that there's no sense of community anymore. Look at how things were two-three years ago and look at how things are now. We're missing a lot of names we used to see way more often. People that have withdrawn and now quietly share without interacting--how is that an enjoyable fandom experience? And yeah, I'm part of the problem too with how much I withdrew from people (withdrew...NOT vague posting about, not target, not messing with anyone)--but is that a cause for taking one of my personal posts--that wasn't even meant to be a jab towards anyone specific--and fucking vague posting about it? Goddamn, it wasn't even a direct insult to anyone either. I didn't say "People who do this suck", I said "this is a trend I personally believe does more harm than good".

Look man, we can try and deny it until we're all blue in the face. But this fandom isn't the way it was when it first started. It's not the same vibe, not the same comradery. Those of us that have been here since the beginning, we see it.

And if you don't see the difference, then congrats. You've stayed safe in your own little bubble. The same can't be said about others, unfortunately. Hide your heads in the dirt if you want, but I'm sure there are others barely hanging on as well, if it weren't for the love they have for their OC's and creations and the friends they've made.

It's really invalidating--and a huge violation of trust for that matter--to open up and express sadness or concern, then go and see someone make a public post about how it's just 'attention seeking'. It's not the first time I've seen this happen either--even worse when it's done in private and not on tumblr--yet it gets posted about. How is that okay? How is that productive at all? Fucking ignoring it and going about your day does far more good than making others feel like shit for expressing sadness that something they enjoyed is now far different.

So I dunno. I tried holding onto the hope that things can change, that people can start being friendly and understanding again. Or that, at least, people will be mature enough to just coexist and be civil to one another. But I'm think I'm ready to throw in the towel. Unfollow me if you want, block me if you want--I'm just done. I think I'm well within my right to voice frustration about the current state of a community I once loved, as well as being within my right to react to something I posted that was taken out of context.

We're adults. Grow up and leave people be.

The parts that were fun, were fun. The rest? Yikes.

And to my friends and mutuals, I'm sorry for putting this shit on your dash. Like I said, first and last time.

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magicalara · 1 year

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So...2022 huh

It's time for Em's yearly letter to the blog where I talk about it since the new year's coming in about an hour and a half in my timezone. Prefacing this with a tw for talks of depression, anxiety, horrible friends, and no proof reading. Here is my word vomit and if you don't get to the end, happy new year everyone.

So 2022 was one of, if not the, worst year in my 19 years of living. It started off with the pressure of a class which if I didn't pass, would essentially mean I couldn't go to college, and is ending with me having to walk on eggshells around people and feeling just...so anxious and depressed. Before I get into that, however, in order to save the people I want to specifically call out from having to hear about my depressing word vomit, I'm gonna mention them first.

So I can't make a new year's post without tagging my girl @pinktea99 who has been around for what feels like ever. I think it'll actually be two years of our friendship early next year I don't remember for sure, it might be three...time is fake it doesn't matter anyways. Between the amazing fanfictions you used to make that I still go back to every now and then and now just tagging me in posts you think I'd like, Mo you've been the biggest supporter I've had since I practically started posting real shit on this hellsite and I could not be more grateful. You're on of my biggest inspirations and I love and adore you so much. Let's go into 2023 with just as much happiness as you've given me in 2022 and even more. I love you so much, my dear 💜💚

Next up (and honestly the only other person I have to tag oops 💀) @docmartensanddietcoke my beloved. We've only been friends for a few months now but hot damn do I feel like we've known each other for years. We clicked so quickly and it kinda scared me at first but in such a good way??? Idk but you're amazing and so sweet and passionate and I just love talking to you so much. You've made me so excited about writing again after so long of being stuck in an endless loop of writer's block and just general insecurity that led to me not posting. I'm so happy I met you and I can't wait to see what 2023 brings us. Much love to you and thank you for showing me the pleasures (nudge nudge wink wink) of the pairing that is William T Spears and Mey-Rin 💜♥️💜

Okay so now the other stuff lol. So if you're one of the 20-30 some-odd people who started following me from seeing all the black butler bullshit I post, you wouldn't know but I used to be a kpop blog. I'm like 99% certain that I privated/deleted all of those posts though so yk hopefully y'all don't see that. I still reblog my nct loves because they are my ult group and I love them very much but I used to like only post about kpop. I had to switch because I just wasn't happy with it anymore. I had always envisioned myself as having a blog full of things I loved but after coming back from a break where I saw the fandoms I loved to interact with having gone to shit, I couldn't do it anymore. So I got rid of it all and rebranded 😃 It was honestly a really good decision though and I'm glad I did it because it reminded me of the reasons I started a tumblr account in the first place: to be happy.

For as creepy as certain sides of the black butler fandom may be, I've never felt so supported. Y'all are amazing and I still can't believe any of my posts got passed 50 notes let alone my top three all being just shy of or completely pass 100. All of the interaction is so appreciated and I can't wait to interact with you all more in the new year <33

With the good, though, comes the bad. So much of the last half of my senior year was full on unnecessary bullshit and drama and breakdowns. From the feeling of being stabbed in the back by people I thought I could trust, to being almost taken advantage of in my first wlw relationship, it just was not a great time. This really sucked, though, because my greatest hope was for my senior year in high school to be something worth remembering as I wasn't able to do anything the previous two years since covid put a downer on all of that. But whatever, I graduated and kept the people I wanted to and dropped those I didn't. It's still a work in progress in dropping some of those people, but in getting there lol

I got my first job, which I still have now, and I love working there. There are better days and worse days (I work in public service so there are always those karen's who will come in) but I love the people I work with and am glad that I decided to take the offer to work there when I did. I have some good memories there that definitely are core memories

I can't do this without mentioning the passing of Technoblade. If you didn't know who he was, Technoblade was a minecraft youtuber and streamer who helped so many people with his amazing and funny videos and his stories that he created on the Dream SMP. He unfortunately passed in June this year due to cancer. When I watched the video his dad made announcing it, the world went silent. I spent that whole night and much of the day after crying my eyes out. I couldn't imagine someone who had brought me so much comfort being gone. Hell I'm still not over it, and I don't think I ever will be. Techno was a huge influence, inspiration, and comfort for me and always will be. Fuck cancer.

I had many family problems throughout the year that I won't get into because that's a little more personal than I'd like to get to on such a public place lol. Just know that to all of you who are celebrating alone this year, I feel you, and my heart goes out to you. We aren't alone if we're all together

The one huge positive that I do have to mention is my starting to watch anime. I decided to take the plunge and watch ouran highschool host club because of a cosplay I saw of hikaru and kaoru on tiktok that made me go "oh what the fuck I'll give". I went in not expecting to finish even episode one and came out with new comfort characters and a world I couldn't leave behind. After ouran, I found kuroshitsuji and we'll...here we are lol

On top of the comfort I found in ouran, I found a series that was so much darker but had such good characters that I started to connect with and love. Grelle has been such a huge comfort for me and I can't imagine myself leaving her (or the series) behind at any point for next long while. Seeing such an empowering transgender woman really did it for me and I'm so happy I decided to watch this show and subsequently binge read the manga. I can't wait to see all the kuro content this next year brings

I've lost people this year, I've gained people this year. I've cried so many tears of sadness and absolutely no tears of joy. I've spent way more money than I should on genshin impact and food. Most importantly, I've found a place where I think I can start to build myself up again. Good fucking bye 2022, I'm gonna do my best to make 2023 my bitch and I think that y'all should join me. Thank you all for being here, and I wish you all a happy, healthy new year

If you've made it this far, new chapter of forever forgiveness comes out in two weeks ;)

#happy new year from em #i hope that readmore worked im doing this all on mobile 💀#putting kuro oruan nct and techno tags bc i can #kuroshitsuji #black butler #nct #ouran highschool host club #technoblade #love you guys and thanks for making 2022 that much more tolerable #💜💜💜

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miscling · 10 months

Text

Hello

Call me Lin. She/her. If you're not at least 18 dni at all. Don't follow me, don't message me. If I think you're under 18 I'll block you. I'm very interested in finding blogs by people in the UK, who are in the 30-45 age range (similar to myself!). It's okay to follow/interact outside that range though! I'd really like to make lots of new friends of any age!

I'm not new to tumblr, but I've started this blog for hornyposting about kinks and to follow blogs for the fet stuff I like. I'm also queer as fuck, so I'm esp into looking for queer shit to follow. I live in a really dull part of the UK (NE, near Grimsby) so it's also a kind of way to feel like a part of a kinky and queer whole.

I'll probably just sporadically rb stuff based on my kinks. I might start posting some of the kinky fantasies that get stuck in my head, and maybe even write some stories (since I am also a writer). I'd like to find someone to beta-read them at the moment, so I can build up the courage to post some! Scratch that this blog has become a hyperfixation and I'm definitely gonna post stories that pass muster.

I'm using the tag 'Ask Meme' for ask memes, feel free to look one up and send me questions to answer! Copy the questions in so I know which ones to answer! I tag my answers with 'Miscling Answers'. I really like ask memes (I am a complete ask meme slut please don't hesitate I will answer literally anything) so don't be shy! If I reblog an ask meme I'll also send some asks back to you, I'm nice like that.

I also have a lovense wishlist: https://www.lovense.com/wish-list/939q and it would be swell if someone were to gift me toys I could use to play with people on here. I'm a slutty set of holes, a toy for others to use. Fill my mouth, cunt, and ass.

Kinks I practice:

I'm mostly a bottom, but I can switch, I'd be into a sub/sub or switch/switch dynamic with someone.

bondage, the more inescapable the better. Rope especially, but I also love cuffs and padlocks. I am a big fan of stocks and bondage frames, and basically anything that restrains my body.

tickling. I'm a lee, and it's more about the stimulation than anything else. I can't say I'm that ticklish, if I'm being honest.

sensation and sensory play. Stuff like slime, mud, and other goops.

masochism. sharps and biting! I like getting hurt sometimes, and I wouldn't mind a good beating every so often. I'm especially into medieval type tortures and gear.

latex wear, bunny outfits, bondage wear, maid outfits. Dressing up is really fun, if only I was brave enough to post selfies. and it's really east to goad me into sharing my pics if you're nice.

Exhibitionism! I love showing off, from pics to my endless ramblings, I really like just being at the centre of attention.

masks and hoods. I have more than a few masks and I always love adding new ones to my collection. I love wearing masks, even casually.

praise and worship. I'm a good girl, the best. I like being revered and put on a pedestal, but I don't like false or empty praise.

breast milking and nipple play, hucow stuff (moo!). I regularly milk my breasts, though I haven't quite got a good flow yet I'm getting there! I've got some hucow pics on here too: link

Edging. This one's new for me. I knew what edging was, but I didn't know how to get it to work. Someone taught me how, and now I'm a dumb edgeslut who stays horny and compliant. Good girls don't cum without permission, they stay horny and help others get off first.

Hypnosis and conditioning. If I reblog something with a spiral in it, I will tag it as 'hypno gif' so it can be filtered. I am finding hypno and conditioning stuff so hot atm I might just boil off. I am really getting into hypno, and love the idea of being switched off like that. I'm still super new to it, but I'm gaining lots of experience.

Kinks I'm curious about/breaking into:

group, freeuse, drugging, kidnapping, and cnc. I'm definitely not going to go into this sort of thing until I know I'm with someone I can actually trust with my safety, but the thought turns me on.

probably some rp stuff but not much. I want to interact with kink as myself, and get real with it. When I write, I much prefer to work with original characters and settings than work in other canons.

petplay, but I'm a cat, like one of those that sleeps in the corner most of the day, but really likes affection and nuzzles you like a lot.

Into some shit that's more fantasy than reality:

size kinks (I wish I could be like 12in tall or like 12ft tall, I can never decide. I definitely prefer being small, though.)

stuff with ovipositors and breeding, tentacles, and just general purpose monster-fucking.

stuff with robot girls, slime girls, and that sorta thing.

Probably some other things that'll get awakened in me and I'll have to edit in later.

And not into this shit at all:

unnegotiated submission (don't come at me acting like a 'dom')

puppyplay (don't refer to me as anything dog related)

humiliation (don't talk me down and treat me as lesser)

ageplay (I might want a mommy, but I'm so far past being a kid)

sissification (I get it, I do, but I'm a woman, and I do not want to ever be called a sissy or associated with sissification.)

shit and piss (just makes me feel sick)

Basically I like being treated with respect even if we're doing fun kinky shit and I'm not really a person any more. I'd like to talk to people as people, before we negotiate any kind of dynamic.

#About miscling

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ut-girl666 · 2 years

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Okay, okay. So we have (basically) canon Poet!Megatron. but, hear me out here - what about Author!Megatron?? Like, writes books, not just poetry.

Personally, I think of Fantasy Genre being what he writes, and he ends up with a good couple books. And like, they’re really well written. Beautiful plot, fantastic characters, gives plenty of development to each of them, and whole arcs, usually completed before the book ends.

Even better; he specifically tries to make them LGBTQ+ friendly. He makes lots of diverse fun characters, with different identities of all kinds. Particular interesting thing he does specifically for his repulsed readers, is he actually warns when there will be smut or something close in a chapter. This is because he’s a Repulsed!AroAce. And further more, when scenes like that actually happen (not in the first two, only implied), he actively admits, no, he didn’t write them, one of his ‘editors’ did.

He also tends to write his books with lots of warnings, and usually puts a page between each chapter, specifically so readers aren’t immediately tossed into something they weren’t alright with, because he knows that people have trauma, and PTSD, because he does himself, and doesn’t want to put his readers into a bad spot, because of his writing. He’s a very friendly writer.

And now into the funnies of Author!Megs.

One day Elita drags him onto Twitter and Tumblr. He effectively does normal twitter stuff, and he talks to some fans/readers, lets them ask stuff, etc. Tumblr, he talks, interacts a little more, and reblogs a lot, he also has a few little blogs - one for reblogging things, one for just his own talking and stuff (inc when he comments on his weblogs outside of tags - those go on both.), one where he is magical author man. Readers can talk to him there, and see when he makes new content just for fun. They love it!

And when they do the asking, it depends which he’s on. Twitter - he’s serious, mature, and very adult. Tumblr - it’s like he looked at his full ass inbox, and did some drugs before answering them. He is so fun on Tumblr.

“You said [Character] does [Hobby] in the first book, and they still do in [Later book]. Did they get any better?”

Twitter Megs: It depends. Time may only tell if they did. Full answer on tumblr - [link]

Tumblr Megs:

lol they still suck ass.

Also, Elita, being an Artist on Tumblr with her own characters, world, lore, and stuff, knows him. She loves to make him things, and has read his books. She likes them. Eventually once Ariel and Orion were bondmates, and she started having to spend more time with him (Orion and Megs shared a house for like, their v. of six years, basically- and they were gonna be in-laws, gotta learn to get along with the family. kinda. at least for dinner.), they got along. She became his beta-reader for the third book, and his editor. (She suggested the smut, and wrote it. The explicit part is on her tumblr/ao3, megs didn’t let that go through, only suggestive/implied! He got really hot and bothered by it… in the negative way. He likes it, until the actual sex. Then *scream* SLAM! So it all goes on ao3.)

She also stands up for him when people steal his shit. He doesn’t really do much besides say ‘hey, please don’t copy/steal my stuff’, as he’s new to the internet. She’s been around since he was fourteen, and she used to be like that, but now she’s aged up, and she will not tolerate theft!! So she screams it from the rooftops, and alerts people “hey! They steal/copy other ppl’s content! Stay away from them! >:(.” it’s something she does for a lot of people, and Megs is included bc she knows that just like her, he hold his blorbos close and dear to his heart.

Ppl also hate him in the second book/prequel, he does the thing, and kills a character for the first time, especially one that had become so beloved!! He didn’t like doing it. He cried, a lot. He hated having to bring them back home to him. But he happily put them out into the world for ppl to make fics about them.

That being said, he doesn’t like it when people make fics where they mess with specific established stuff (sexuality, race, etc.), but otherwise, if it’s just an AU (Cafe!AU, Royalty!AU, Highschool!AU, etc.), other little things, (fluff, angst, etc.), or even something else (fix-it fic, song-fic, slice of life, how a pair may have got together, etc.) he loves them!! He loves all of that, to see people being inspired, tossing his babies into scenarios, making what-if?s about them, maybe letting them have a break with some fluff, or whatever! It’s his favorite! And he loves to scroll and see the things. So every time his kills a character, he puts a tag around their neck, and gives them back to the fan base to play with.

I’m begging you lot, think about it!! Just an idea, but what if?! Wouldn’t it be fun?

#transformers #memes #maccadam #megatron #au idea #elita one #orion pax #ariel #writer megatron #author megatron

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