#okay im getting ahead of myself

[skitskatdacat63]

"If you asked me yesterday or last week if we had any chance to be in the top five, or even fighting for the podium, I would tell you no. Now, I don't know if I can be so sure, so...let's try."

#hes being very cautious so i dont know what to think #\but im rly glad to hear that the pace is way way better than they were expecting #WE WILL TRY. #<- thats all i care about #we will in fact try!!! and maybe...succeed? #shhhh shhhh im getting ahead of myself #man i have to say tho i miss the floofy bits peaking out from under his cap ahhhhh #old man grow your hair back out #back on my gif grind! wish the back wasnt so blatantly shit but its okay ig. just focus on the old man #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #we do a little bit of f1 #2024 bahrain gp

[switchbladefightz]

listening to the thg audiobooks and katniss hating/trying her fucking hardest to hate peeta is so funny

#her internal monologue is like he is cute ⚠️but EVIL⚠️ #like i get why its just so fucking funny to me . girl ur gonna marry him <3 #i just know in modern au katniss is the girl who writes the get out of my school letter #okay anyway i forgot how good these books r. bc i was 13 when i read them #but they r genuinely great. truly ahead of their time #katniss is a protagonist who doesnt make me want to bite things which is nice also. shes rly cool actually #oh and her and peeta r t4t. okay i think im done now #thg #<- i foresee myself being annoying abt this so making a tag

[zxrtecs]

okay maybe the years-long severe depression was not defeated and maybe that sense of failure still lingers (no cranberries). but i sstay silly.

#scor’s rambling #clutching my head trying not to go back to my old ways of rotting on the couch and trying to accept that i have life ahead of me and. god #i feel like such a failure damn near everyday #though my struggles once reduced to the basics are very normal and expected and other people have gotten far in life with #the same or worse shit happening. im gonna be sick if i think of my future or even tomorrow hell . any more tonigjt #just have to remember i don't need a reason to exist and things will. be okay #like i try to convince myself i'll be fine if i don't actually graduate normally or something and that i can get a job that i'll be happy #with and i'll find an apartment or house and a partner and friends and my family will be better #and i won't have any depression or whatever else #and i won't be constantly going broke or homeless or staying at my parent's place and none of my family will be in danger

[iftitah]

.

#this girl was joking about another girl in my batch fasting on karvachauth for her boyfriend and it was the light jokes so it was okay #but then she said why is she doing it her caste is completely different from his her parents would kill her #and that how college relationships are only for time being until you're in college and you're there for each other's support #and that nothing in college couples is that serious and they may turn out just good friends in future #and there's no reason to worship your love because it's just 'casual'??!! #ive so many feelings and a little heartbreak #ive already tried thinking about future but you know it 2ould just spiral me and thinking tha ahead doesn't make sense know #logically speaking she's right that we can go through SO MANY changes during the college years and no one knows anything ahead #but idk like i love him its not just oh im in college and ive got a boyfriend to get my nights busier and go on silly pretend dates #i didn't date anyone for nineteen years because i just wouldn't date anyone #its just surprising me as well how i came here so clueless and how everything led to each other and then into us #and i don't say stuff like marriage and kids because that's too huge. just too huge right now to think off #and that's also a way of keeping myself humble #and i would love love love to think about a future too not just yet it's too quick and im okay understanding everything rather than diving #but what she said. is so um its messing with my brain #ofc im not letting it over weigh me not at least from a person who's with multiple seniors #sends all her money to her so called youtuber bf #and goes to private places with some other guy #who's in everything for casual #but i don't know what im supposed to do with it right now #playing around my head #or maybe i should just trust the process

[seariii]

There we go, the shards have been picked up... Will start bothering mutuals soon

#my head hurts a bit... and i seem to be really sleepy... but its okay #we dont need to know that far ahead... lets focus on getting everything ready and reaching march #I feel like drawing a bit... what wips do i have... the doodle of my ocs... the magical girl post... i wanna draw kotoko... #maybe ill treat myself and do a small doodle for Kotoko and me... well saori hahaha...those im too shy to post tho... #im missing the kotoko in a suit one tho... maybe i could finally go for that one... or just... happy together... #ill see what i do #... sigh... im such an emotional mess am i not? hahahaha ... thanks for loving me anyways... #seari talks #im on my yuno arc looking for warmth #i love you all. ill bother you after i get ready to leave #maybe ill send little asks just to annoy everyone

[vhstown]

i wanna design these sixth form au characters so bad 😭😭😭

#also sixth form sounds so fancy but its literally just cause skl used to be in “forms” rather than years #so year 1 and 2 was first form and so on until sixth form as year 12 and 13 #tho it doesnt add up so maybe first form was reception and y1? #anyways #chewys my guy for designs... they're all in skl uniform except gwen tbf tho cause she goes colly okay im getting ahead of myself maybe #the people at my sixth form look so cool though honestly #big inspo moment #vee chats

[surreal-duck]

messing around a bit

#delete later #man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird #trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg #shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me #should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔 #still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess #just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made. #im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough. #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony #well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole #even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw #actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself #but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate #hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week #man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay #hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini #masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh #ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini #aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr #me when i have to do my job at work #i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower #sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit

[oars]

its all okay though because the past month is the happiest i've ever been im close to completely forgetting what it all feels like and im just full of the desire to just live. im so unsure of what i want to do in the future and i've been putting off a lot of things i should be doing but ive been so happy and at peace all of january i can't even be bothered to worry about anything.

#im so happy! ^_^ #its so strange and scary bc i feel like it'll just be struck out of me with bricks when im not looking but i'll enjoy it! #im not even sure if i'll be getting my coe to move overseas and finally have my own place but im excited bc i'll still have plans. #i'll still have a life ahead with things to look forward to even if it doesnt happen! #i am lonely but i dont feel lonely. i yearn a little bit but its more excitement for the future instead of ''i may never have this'' #thats okay too though. im crafting my own life for myself. i always want something to look forward to and i'll make shit up for myself

[maburito]

Unpopular opinion but....Am i the only one disappointed that there's no actual water exploring in Tears of the Kingdom? Like come on Nintendo!! You literally went through the trouble of making coral in the sea and all!!! Gimme at least a water temple!!!!

#this is yalls fault #yall complained about water temples in Legend of Zelda games too much now we not getting them : #:'( #Okay like don't get me wrong getting to explore both sky and underground is great and it clearly will take tons of time for me to explore #but like!!!!!! lemme see what underwater look like come on!!!!!!!!!! #I wanna swim/walk through water!! #like in Ocarina of Time or Majora's Mask!!!! #Loz #TOTK #Legend of Zelda #Tears of the Kingdom #okay maybe i am getting ahead of myself im only doing the zoras now but so far i doubt its gonna be a real water temple #either gonna be underground or in the sky #burito talk

[piplupod]

ignore this i just need to be insane for a second

#life gets soooooo much easier when u decide u are on a clock thats running out and theres an end to it #like i can just fucking vibe now and not care bc theres an end in sight #im just running the clock out and having a good time as much as possible while the clocks still running #and then! i get to be done! and leave! when things get too intolerable! i can just be done and not deal w it anymore! #incredibly freeing! psychologists are terrified of me! #literally just. okay well I'll just live off the savings i have (very lucky i accumulated those) and then- #-either they run out or shit gets too fucked up for me to handle and i can just off myself then. thank fucking god #living in a way where u are just running out ur rapidly ticking clock is just so fucking freeing #things dont matter anymore and i can finally fucking chill a little bit #I've been living this way for a couple months and damn I've been going thru it sure but theres an exit door for me to use now #and thats making it SO much easier to cope. i have a limited amount of time and i can choose to end the clock whenever. thank god #just waiting it out and vibing in the meantime #anyways tonight was brutal lol and i feel the clock moving ahead rapidly but i am just going to make my silly little art instead of worrying #no need to worry bc theres no future to consider!! if things get too hard i can just leave! extremely freeing! #dont have to worry abt escaping or finances or anything lmao its all unnecessary now #this is probably unhealthy (i mean it definitely is) but i feel like i can deal w things so much better #family can say whatever they want now bc if i ever decide its too much i can just be done #and magically! my tolerance levels have risen! hurray! i can tolerate so much more bc i know it doesnt matter! #okay im done im done. things are so bad lol but at least i have an way out at the ready and no more apprehension abt it #me and death become besties era #she is my silly rabbit she is my rock she'll be there to catch me when i collapse djdjdkdl #I'll delete this later but i just need to be stupid a bit rn bc otherwise im going to do smth so much worse #everything is building and building and i am handling it the best i can! this is my best! #suicide tw

[prettyboykatsuki]

UM pleek advice i’m turning twenty soon nd i’m scared 🥹💔 ageism eating me alive i feel like i havent lived my teen years because Brown Parents just idk… IDK!!!! im over reacting i think but im crying everyday like my youth was stolen from me cuz abuse and insecurity and pandemic but idk what to do now i feel so lost and seeing ur posts u just seem so smart and excited about life and exploring urself so i come humbly for advice 😞

i know this feeling bc i have the same parents but like i really mean it when i say life doesn't start for a lot of people until they're 25-30+

i was blessed with older siblings and cousins in my life and pretty much all of them say the same thing. my cousins did all the fun teenager things and even so they're all so much happier now then they ever were before.

you're never gonna be 15 again, that's true. but the life you imagined or dreamed of living at 15 isn't the only life you'll ever live and really isn't even that important. you have a romantic idea of it because you never experienced it.

but you have the rest of your life. do you know how long that is? you're only 20. that's nothing. 25 is nothing. 30, 31, 32. you're just starting in comparison to the rest of your life. the only reason you feel that way is because you're suffocated and the idea that being young is everything but it simply isn't. statistically if you only live to be 60, you have 2 entire thirds left to exist.

don't listen to people on the internet who can't fathom being over 17. adulthood is only a curse if you glorify being young. and you're not even an adult. any real adult thinks you're a kid. the only person who thinks your old is a person who's sitting in calculus one who eats lunch at 10am. why are you listening to them anyway?

i don't especially like being young honestly. there's nothing i look forward to more than getting older every year. i want to be 50 with a garden. i want to spend the rest of my life being a good person. i am so comforted by the fact i still have all this time.

you are so lucky to be alive. you must believe that the time you have left is a gift.

being young is only easy for those who come from privilege. but any person with responsibilities knows how suffocatingly lonely it can be trying to care for yourself and make something of your life.

and it's because of that gradual reality that you have to believe life hasn't reached it's potential. that this isn't your limit. if you're incessantly thinking that you've wasted so much time, than how will you grow? if you're constantly chasing at teenage years that you'll never get again, how will you learn to love the fully realized version of yourself?

if you spend your 20's looking back how can you look forward to the rest of your life? is it fair to yourself to ignore all that's made you who you are, just because you missed out on certain experiences?

look at how far you've come. look at how much it's taken you. look at all this life you have left to keep pushing. i know it feels like you're meandering, but the virtue of living is gaining experience. every minute you engage the world is meaningful to your life and this isn't a hope thing but a universal truth. it is the only facet of existence that has been respected since the beginning of civilization. experience that you can only gain now by opening your eyes to whats around you.

life is hard now. you are going to do your best. and maybe your best is ugly. it never feels good enough. it's not as good as what other people do. but it's yours, so solely. and if all you ever do is worry about the life you haven't lived instead of cherishing the life you have, you're going to feel miserable and you don't have to feel that.

you'll never be 15 again not once. you'll never know what that's like and it sucks. i won't tell you to feel fine about what you might've missed because i know and i get it.

but maybe you only want to be 15 because you think it would've changed who you are now. maybe you think the you now isn't good enough.

but you are. and it is. and there's nothing to be afraid of. every day of living despite it's many solitudes is worth it. even the worst of your tomorrows are to be cherished. you are so young. a drop in the massive of sea.

but that means you can go anywhere and do anything. with time, with patience, with struggle, with tears. you have now and tomorrow. between then nothing will change. you will do it a thousand times, and then you will look back and suddenly be so different. this is your finicky existence.

the only way to not be afraid of getting older is believing with your heart that living is meaningful. count your blessings and celebrate your small joys. you have the rest of your life to do that. i think that alone is something worth celebrating.

#return to sender #i think about my past a lot #i suffered a lot #i will never gain those years back #but it's because of that i can wake up and say #im okay. im alright. there's still time #i struggle because i have to do much on my own #i cry a lot. i get sad. i feel miserable #im a human with ups and downs just like you #ill do it again tommorrow #with time i can say look at all the life ive lived #and i want that #i want to look back at myself when im much older and think #look at the poor girl. she didn't know what was ahead and she suffered so much #she went through so much for me. to be here #sometimes you're your own big sister #make yourself proud and hold your hand #live your life slowly and steadily #there's nothing to be scared of and there's nothing wasted #not a single moment you've lived was a waste. not one #you have all this time to be the version of yourself you look up to #your whole entire life to that #i think that's exciting #and i want that more than anything #so i live everday and do it little by little #and i fuck up and make mistakes but i always know there's tommorow and that makes me so happy #sorry this wasn't advice as much as it was me shaking you by the shoulders #but im really passionate because i hate seeing people my age talk with one foot out the door #it's miserable to think you've wasted your life when you haven't at all #don't be an active particpant in your misery

[lordsardine]

.

#okay. i got through the most dull chunk for the adult novel #and i finished grammar edits for a chapter for the MG novel and then studied the sensitivity reader notes again #i get to start implementing some of these notes next chapter (which factors into a reason why i put this off for a bit) but feel good #overall. decently productive #i think i can get some decent edits/writing done for the MG novel this weekend. i'll table the adult one for a bit since im ahead #miscellaneous #also think i might take myself out for an Activity™ on staurday #maybe a museum. and then a cafe to write. tbd #and then next next weekend i'll be overheating in flordia where i expect to get not to much writing done lmfao #Anyway™.

[oscill4te]

One day i will not be obsessed with the cr/amp twins. Maybe i will like it a normal amount. Or maybe not even like it at all one day. I intertwined that show too deeply with my identity. Generally when I am super hyperfixated on something, i am using it as escapism from thinking about my real life.

#like to me 2023 is just mass escapism via an obscure cartoon and internet addiction. kind of sad. #2022 was awful though so 2023 is a mass improvement but damn #some parts of myself looove the show. others parts hate it for what it represents in my life. #i also should stop using tumblr/my phone or at least limit my usage. but. one day at a time #escapism is just nice in general #txt #not in the longrun but it feels so great in the moment being immersed in something that isnt your real life #when your current real life sucks ass but feel too scared to make those big changes that are essential #to you being happy and stable in the long run #easier to forget your real life and just watch shitty cartoons. idk. i shouldn't even be blogging this stuff publicly lol #like i am genuinely not well. i am a benign lolcow. #who overshares and tbh i never even expected this blog to even get followers o.o so now im like #maybe i should stop. i dont know. find better outlets. lol #maybe try to connect with my realworld. my brain desperately doesn't want to leave the fantasy escapism world it created though #i feel like an age regressed loser and idk I want to shape up so badly #im 24 i should be way more ahead than this yknow. i just stagnated in 2023. because 2021-2022 was so awful #idk its complicated man #like 2023 was needed. but it is such a hazy blur. it feels so unreal. we are still in 2023 and it already feels so far away #i feel i need to try to change my life and priorities in 2024. i just have no roadmap. no people to ask.. #i have to teach myself on my own. ill probably make a lot of mistakes but thats okay #my next goal is to try a new job even though it scares the everliving shit out of me #i accepted i wont be able to drive safely so I need to carefully plan. i need to be okay with taking risks. i need too. #i need to work on my tardiness social skills and my appearance so I can get a new job too without insta rejection #i dont know. i want to prove my family wrong too and have good things. good mental health. financially stable. takes care of herself. #ik spite is a shitty motivator. but i just wanna prove it to myself. that I am capable of m #okay too many tags smh. gonna stop here

[the-official-account]

Trying to love people who don't do poetry is hard, because I don't know how else to communicate the absolute ferocity with which I am willing to endure life for the chance to have had them in it

#grief is so strange! i would do if again and again and again! #sometimes love loss and fear are the exact same feeling and i look at the family i've made and im like! #do you even know? how could i possibly tell you? #i have let go of the part of myself i stopped needing when you came into my life and when you are gone i will not get them back #i agreed to this. this is the complete whole of everything i wanted #lush chats #this one doesnt get a little joke at the end there isnt one. #personal maybe to the point of uncomfortable ahead but i get nightmares if loosing the people i love.......so often #and i wake up and love them again #and i wouldnt have it any other way #uhm? #okay to reblog #if i wanted go feel this completely alone i wouldnt be posting it :P #hello lush of the future reading this! love you lots <3

[bigpeepee]

my friend from work is so completely ignorant about queer things that it's genuinely shocking sometimes. like today I found out she thought that in lesbian couples one person had to be the man and one the woman, and by that she meant like butch/femme. and I was like. oh girl. we have sooooo much work to do

#don't get me wrong she's such a good person she's just shockingly ignorant for someone so young #but it's fine we'll get there #she's sooo confused about trans people #and ngl i do feel extremely uncomfortable when she misgenders them #the feeling of ''you're not safe here'' really kicks in and i have to tell myself that she's not doing it in bad faith she's just unaware #i hope she understood it soon enough to at least stop misgendering because that part really fucks with me #im perfectly okay explaining that gay couples don't have to conform to heteronormative roles #the transphobia is harder to deal with #but i think it's going to be worth it i really think she will get there with time and im glad i can help with that #anyway i OBVIOUSLY haven't come out as nonbinary yet because like. that's way too many chapters ahead in the queer book #we're still on the binary trans chapter she's Not Ready for that conversation #it's so funny because she always says that she's always had guy friends and im one of the first girl friends she has and im like 👀 #uhhhhhh sure. girl 👀👀👀👀👀 im. yeah. that's me. a girl 👀👀👀👀 👀 #but hey good news at least im not a man either so it's still new!!

[jelreth]

cavetown was right about "often i am upset that i cannot fall in love but i guess this avoids the stress of falling out of it"

#am i aroace or is it that every time i get close to a person i self sabotage #q #literallyyyyy #do i yearn? yeah. do i think im mature enough to hold a relationship? no absolutely not #im ten minutes from killing myself at any given moment. id be unstable at best. #which i think contributes to the thing #ive got a whole life ahead and rn im focused on staying alive and thats okay <3 #in the meantime. home by cavetown you will always be famous