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coridallasmultipass · 13 days

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Personal vent and ugly mental illness symptom talk

So, I should unpack this with my therapist, but shit's embarrassing, so I'm just gonna vent it out on the public internet lmao.

I was typing out a whole thing about how I KNOW I'm aromantic, and despite that, still have moments where my brain gaslights me into believing I'm in fairytale love.

I should preface by saying I have not officially been diagnosed with either additional mental illnesses I believe that I have (B.P//D and AD//HD [which lol being on AD//HD meds since antidepressants didn't do anything has given me some notable improvement, but I'm still without a diagnosis], nor Au//tism) DESPITE repeatedly asking multiple therapists multiple times and a psych like 100 times to give me a definitive yes or a no.

But holy shit. So I'm typing about how I've 'Favourite Person'-ed multiple people at multiple points in my life across all ages, and I'm like, okay, it's been a hot minute since I refreshed my definition of that, I should make sure that's still a thing and not something I just made up or has been dropped from the symptoms or whatever the case. I wanna make sure I'm using it right in this rant about how falling into Favourite Personing people in the past has made me believe 'wait, maybe I'm not aro, this HAS to be like the deepest truest love in existence, despite my years of knowing I'm aro.' Like, I'm so aro I once calculated out the date, months in advance, I was gonna tell someone I was dating that I loved them, only because it seemed like a socially acceptable amount of time to say it. I wasn't thinking about what I actually felt lmao. (And that was probably not a FP relationship, too, so I know that was absolutely an aro incident.)

Anyways, so I'm reading a couple articles to make sure I articulate my points about how it's conflicted with being aro, and I read about how people falling into having a FP will even hate that person for the slightest perceived wrongs. (I knew this, I just was thinking about the love incidents since that's what was related to my point about being aro.)

And holy shit. That just. Unlocked a memory I have about when I was an older kid, like probably 9ish (and older), I HATED my best friend of many years and who would continue being my bff for more years. Who was my everything. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I hated them. I would lie awake at night (insomnia too tho) thinking about how much I hated them and I couldn't understand why I didn't just stop being their friend and start hanging out with old friends more instead. I just couldn't do it, I wanted to hang out with THEM. I was so sick and feeling jealous of them whenever I found out they'd been hanging out with someone else one-on-one and I wasn't invited. Even when it was their own family. One time they brought me a plate of cookies by surprise for (before) a holiday that they'd just made with their cousin or something. And I felt so sick about how I wasn't there for that, it felt like an insult. I couldn't have put this into words, unless I just now read that point in an article and made a connection. It was so confusing, because usually the people who hated their 'best friend' was like, the mean girl kinda character who intentionally does it to hurt the innocent main character or something, but I was the one who felt wronged every time those feelings would come up. And this wasn't just a 'man it's so annoying when they do this specific thing.' This was active stewing, in a slow cooker, all day and all night kinda thing.

I was never romantically or sexually attracted to that person, but I probably wrote all this off as either unrelated sexuality or gender bullshit when I figured that out later. But knowing now that there was definitely someone (actually, I'm thinking of WAY more people as I'm typing this, and just realized why I stopped loving a band and started hating them 'for no reason' wow lmao) that I FP'ed who I definitely WASN'T attracted to, suddenly convinces me that I was probably right in suspecting B.P//D. (Or, y'know, maybe I don't have that specifically, and it's the symptom from a different facet of mental illness or whatever.) I've been so hung up over how I'm aro, sometimes ace, and then this 'only' happens towards people I am attracted to. Like, 'maybe it was love and I'm just terrible at it.' (No! It's not! Aro is correct! That's just the brain manipulating me to get another hit of dopamine off a FP! It's just easier to happen to someone I'm attracted to!)

It's no fucking wonder why I always worried about people hating me in secret, and it's because I was absolutely making myself insufferable because of that worry. I know for a fact that some people definitely did hate (or. Lmao. Shut up. Like, 'resented' maybe fits better) me for demanding constant attention that was never reciprocated by anyone I've ever met in my entire life.

I probably wrote-off so many symptoms as 'I was a moody teen and kind of an asshole.' Except it happened before and after I was a teen, too. I would have excused everything that happened during and before high school, when I should have been looking for these patterns I kept following for years after. It doesn't help that my first relationship was wildly toxic (mostly against me in this one case), and while I didn't feel particularly bothered by it after I got over the nightmare breakup, I just kept going 'What if it was the sole cause of all of this and I'm just repressing that?' Well, phew! No, it's not, that was thankfully just a toxic embarrassment, and not the source of all my problems. I was already on the shitstorm trajectory. That's a major relief. If you can call it that. I really don't like discussing that one, but not in a trauma way, more like a, you don't really wanna discuss pissing your pants on accident kinda way. Unpleasant to remember, wildly embarrassing to talk about, but ultimately not a life-altering event.

Ughhhhh. Maybe I should bring this (the mental illness not the relationship) up to the therapist. But like, I haven't been close friends with anyone in like 6 years or so, so I don't have any current or even recent examples about how being in friendships has always turned out Russian Roulette for me. My therapist doesn't seem to believe how bad it was for me to be in friendships where I was unintentionally FP'ing someone. Because besides the depression and anxiety (and mild OCD), I'm a totally normal person to her who's just dealing with shit health problems and grief (and frustration from being trans and not in a safe place to transition). Y'know, normal life problems most people will feel at some point, just chronic in my case. I may be weird, but I'm obviously far from the worst she's seen. I'm not uniquely mentally ill.

((Except the whole 'treatment resistant depression' diagnosis bullshit from the psych, but I'm learning it's not just mental issues I have that are treatment resistant lol.))

I tried talking to her about a small part of all this before, but IDK what I did wrong, she took it 100% as me being the one unintentionally wronged and not setting MY own boundaries (lmao), so like I don't know how to word this in a way she'd understand that most of my problems in this area were my own fault. (I mean that both negatively and neutrally, because it's an ugly side of mental illness, but not one I chose or know how to help.)

Not being in close friendships with anyone has had an understandably sane-ifying effect on me (barring the, y'know, depression/anxiety/OCD and baseline weirdness), which has gotten me trapped for the 5th time in 6 years of making my therapists believe I'm better off than I actually am. (I've done this to every therapist I've ever had before that, too.) But like, again, at least for the past 3 therapists and the latest psych, I AM actually better for not having close friends lmao. Only one therapist ever had one visit of me wanting to address these concerns specifically while they were currently active, and by the next visit, we had to shift exclusively to sudden new grief lol. (What a shitshow. It somehow always ends up that whenever I wanna treat an illness, it's like opening a can of worms, except the worms are firecrackers and I didn't set the can down and step back a few feet.)

Like, it obviously feels safer to not have close friends at all because there's no fear of abandonment if I have no one to begin with. And, genuinely, I operate better when I'm alone. But now that I've known safety, it's hard to imagine throwing myself back into the roulette wheel, hoping I don't land on red OR black. But fuck, man. It is lonely.

And being aro? It's freeing, and validating too, to have a word for it, but I'm not gonna mince words here, I hate it. I wish I could feel romantic love. Like normal, not mentally ill ""love."" I feel platonic love all the time, like for friends (not FP) always. I love saying 'I love you' to friends and meaning it. But I want to feel romantic love. I just don't. I just feel friendship, Favoriting, and/or sexual attraction sometimes. Probably why I'm so into shipping and fanfics. I got a lot more "probably why's" but I don't wanna go down that in this already vulnerable post lol. (I already made a whole post about one of the why's back in like 2013 or 14 lmao, without connecting it to this.)

Anyway, I put this whole mental illness and relationships deal into ugly imagery in a current fic WIP I'm working on, since recognizing I was aro took living through FP'ing a few 'romantic' relationships, before I even first heard the term FP. I only saw my experiences as 'I don't think I've been experiencing love' and that by itself felt like it fit. I didn't realize there was anything wrong, even as I outwardly said shit like 'I don't think I'm fit for being in a relationship' to the few people who asked me out, even when I wanted to say yes.

And then I kept trying to make relationships work lmao. I don't know why I even bothered. I just wanted to be wrong about being aro, especially when it was a point of contention (aro and ace separately) with some of the relationships.

I'd probably have to meet another aro person of the exact same flavour of aromanticism to make it work, but even then the mental illness would just be a ticking time bomb. No one wants to be the recipient of FP 'affection', except maybe sometimes the fictional people in a certain fiction trope that winds up being fetishistic, even if it's not intended to insult real people (but sometimes it is). And it's just a reminder of how I was probably a big source of toxicity for probably half the people who have ever been close with me, if it's even half of how fiction portrays people with this symptom.

I dunno where I wanted to end this vent, so here's probably a good place. Just wanted to get this off my chest, because it just now felt like a pretty big revelation that my problems weren't related to romanticism, I've had purely platonic instances of this dating back to being an older kid, and more during high school, and I just never connected the two before now.

#dont read if u think im cool #id rather stay cool lol #long post #delete later / /#(in case i change my mind or wanna edit)#Cori.exe #Post.exe #man i talk a lot #shouldve spent this time writing fics instead but i rly needed to talk (type) this out since i dont wanna bring it up in therapy again yet #anyway lmao there we go #rly excited for the fic tho. besides the stuff i mentioned i also took this popular trope and #wait #why am i spoiling it im not gonna convince anyone who read this post lol youll just have to wait for the hot platonic smmmmmut #and hilarious storytelling by one char #and then (still a wip) round 2 #bc no fic is complete until theres a round 2. imo.#((yes i know i have a different round 2 thats over a month late past when i was gonna post it lol i havent forgotten))#here we go writing an essay in the tags now too lmao #ok i need a break for my eyes and then im gonna try to write the platonic one more #hhhh anxious tht my reputation will tank from posting this. idk how i or my 2 followers will survive th consequent backlash and cancellation #(joke)#(still anxious tho)#(i have diagnosed chronic anxiety lol)#eager to know what id be cancelled from tho. maybe my puppetfuckinglicense gets revoked.#maybe my shrimp get taken into protective custody #shrustody #sorry i dont mean to make light of legit cancellations im just trying to convince myself its okay to post on my own blog #good fucking luck catching all those shrimp tho i dont even know how many i have. they control their own population at this point.#they probably have their own system of... shrovernment #Prime Shrimpister Isosceles rules with an iron swimerette i wouldnt wanna interfere with that sovereign nation

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toiletshit · 7 months

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#I posed some of the birds in mmd and traced them then #you can really tell that all the parts were done on separate days bc nothing really meshes with each other #I feel like the brush I used for the foliage was a terrible choice...#also while I was originally ok with how she looked I now think the arm's too big/angle is kinda off #also feels like there's not enough texture to the image #idk tbh I don't really like how this ended up and just wanna get it out my system. maybe I'll find it more acceptable in a week

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patchworkprince · 1 year

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Ik it’s a bit hypocritical that I get so overwhelmed when I see people spam reblog on my main feed but I want to do the same I just usually don’t bc I think I’d be annoying I just need to stop caring oop I swear I used to not be like this idk

#scythe.post #I’m just gonna ramble in the tags now ignore my insane mind ok #I also want to figure out a better tagging system maybe targeted solely for myself and not exactly for others to search for posts #and then I really want to vent more and do a lot more selfship and kin and gender stuff #I can’t keep up with sideblogs and it’s a pain to remake if I ever want my edits to get attention #there’s a few fandoms / topics I’d like to dedicate blogs to but idk I’ll just keep it all here and figure it out #idk maybe I don’t feel like myself on here I just should stop caring really if people unfollow or think bad about me whatever #I might refollow people I’ve unfollowed and just not try and keep up with every single post on my main feed #ok ok i'm done

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bigfatbimbo · 2 months

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ok hear me out...vox chastity cage.

Like.....idk just teasing him for days and he can't do ANYTHING about it, he can't even get hard correctly. It starts to get obvious just in everyday tasks that he's extremely frustrated and jumps when anyone touches him at all like on the shoulder because he is ACHING for some kind of touch. All he gets is ruined orgasms and he's got his face in his hands glitching tf out because he NEEDS to be inside you SO BAD he can hardly stand it. After it's unlocked he's full subby top vox all he can do is sloppy erratic thrusts thanking you and begging you to put your hands on him everywhere. He cums so hard he just gets knocked tf out you have to push him off you mans is SPENT.

Anyway. 🫠

GOOD MORNING TUMBLR!!

waking up to subby top Vox because that’s pretty swell if I do say so myself.

So this punishment would absolutely kill him because he would be so needy to entire week, and in attempt to cover this up at work he has to play his ‘respected CEO’ part, he would just be so aggressive to everyone. Like he would loose his shit so fast.

Oh my god, and maybe you see this and tell him to keep it on tomorrow too because he’s being bad. Like imagine extending this for like an entire fucking five day work week. He’s so whiny in everyday conversation with you because he just can’t stop thinking about the moment you actually touch him again and make him feel good.

He’d absolutely beg you, already glitching out and with tears in his eyes, by the end of the week to just touch him. And so finally, you unlock it and let him climb on top of you, burrying his screen in the crook of your neck (it’s very uncomfortable for you but you’ll live) and he just pathetically ruts into you. And he’s still whining “Touch me, please” “Tell me i’m doing good” “Thank you, oh god, thank you.” Hes basically just babbling your title and sloppily thrusting into you. Finally, you put your hands on his hips to steady his pace and call him your good boy for being so patient. He’s literally already super close, and you can tell because his body starts to shake on top of you. But you keep going, telling him “My perfect boy, taking your punishment so well.” and other sweet praises.

But finally, well actually very prematurely, he cums and just collapses on top of you, softly whining while still inside you, but his system ends up just shutting off. Like he’s completely out while you clean him up.

Anyways, good morning tumblr.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #vox x reader #dom reader #sub vox

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jkbx-arinadal02 · 5 months

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I am back with more Trolls Band Together content! (I’m not turning my tumblr into a trolls blog I swear—) [also, I ain’t gonna draw the details on Ritz’s jumpsuit, I’ve got a neurodivergent brain that refuses to add that sort of detail (but god forbid I miss a shadow or a lineart detail lmao)]

Is it weird for me to ship a rare pair like Veneer x Kid Ritz? Maybe, maybe not, idk. I’m starved for content tho, that’s a thing.

Anyway, have these lovestruck idiots goofing off and flirting, probably in some empty hallway in Ritz’s studio or something. Oh and this doodle of the off-screen (headcanon) reaction from Ritz to Veneer during the interview:

(Ignore the chairs’ inconsistent perspective)

I love Ritz so much. Did yOU KNOW HIS VA IN SPANISH IS GENDERFLUID??!!! LIKE ME FR OMG HE/THEY NB RITZ HERE WE GOOO—!!!!!!

Ahem. Anyway. Got a few other works on these two. Mostly headcanons. I’ll be releasing them in the following days/weeks. So… yeah. I’m a Ritz stan. And a Veneer stan too. But mostly Ritz.

Have this last doodle, but this time it’s just the pop-star twins:

Ok bye!

Ok ok last thing, I need to get this out of my system, since I’ve watched to movie a few more times since last post. Have you noticed the amount of *NSYNC references in the movie’s OST?? Like, the last part of Vacay Island’s song is literally the Sailing chorus, and the BroZone’s Back’s beginning is I Want You Back, which sure it’s a The Jackson 5 song but *NSYNC did a cover for it! It’s not just the in-sync/*NSYNC joke John Dory makes at the end of the movie, it’s all over the movie!! I’ve probably missed some other smaller detail, but gosh I love that they made an effort to include more *NSYNC than just a joke and a new song.

Ok I’ll stop myself before I turn this into a longer rant than it already is.

Bye for real this time lol _(:3 」∠)_

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marvelsgirl616 · 18 days

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[✎ ☀️] — STONER!JJ MAYBANK X READER:

bsfstoner!jj x reader ::

•• summary: you try weed with jj for the first time and it gets a little steamy (jk?….ok you kiss)

•• warnings: weed/drugs (obv.) he calls you princess. So maybe gn…idk (Lmk if I should add more warnings)

•• A/N: if you want more of stoner!jj or for me to add to the fic lmk <3 Ty for reading || also I wrote this at 3 am so sorry for any shitty grammar 😭

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

**you’re hanging out with jj at The Chateau**

jj pulls out a small blunt from his pocket and lights it up with a lighter he flicks with his thumb. he takes a puff before exhaling a cloud of smoke and turning his attention back to you, blowing some towards your direction playfully. "you want some, princess?”

you contemplate on if you want to our not…I mean it’s your first time smoking at all, let alone a blunt. But you feel safe knowing it’s jj’s and that he’d never do anything to hurt you or put you in harms way. You know he’ll keep you safe as the weed kicks in…you nod and take the blunt from him “I’m gonna try it” you smile nervously and in anticipation.

he grins widely at your response before handing you the blunt and watching as you take it from him. "alright, princess. don't inhale too deeply or you'll choke." he warns, his arm still around your shoulder.

he watches as you inhale the blunt for the first time, waiting for your reaction with a slight chuckle, "Fuck, that's some good shit. Hope you can handle it, princess." he praises.

You cough slightly as my throat feels a bit dry.

he laughs at your reaction, patting you on the back as you cough. "Easy there, princess. Don't want you to keel over." he teases, still smiling as he takes the blunt back from you and takes a few more hits before passing it back. "You okay?"

You nod as your throat feels a bit better, but after a bit you start to feel the weed kick in.

he watches with a grin as he sees the weed affecting you, "Fuck, look at you. You look high as fuck already, princess." he teases, placing a hand on your cheek.

You chuckle slightly and it slowly turns into a full blown giggle…oh no….

he grins at your reaction, watching as you continue to giggle. "You're so cute when you're stoned."

You giggle more as the weed takes into full effect. In a giggle you say “M’not cute!”

he laughs more at your attempt to sound tough, and he holds his stomach as he laughs. "Keep telling yourself that, princess. You're still cute to me." He takes another hit of the blunt before passing it back to you..

You blush at his words and giggle softly as you take the blunt from him, taking another puff.

he notices your blush and smiles wider. "You like hearing me call you cute, princess?" He asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

with the weed in my system all you do is smile and giggle stupidly and shrug…god you know that if you weren’t high as a god damn kite, you’d be a complete mess. You feel a certain comfort with being high, as it helps smooth your nerves and makes you more confident than you normally are….

he laughs again, shaking his head. "You're something else, princess." He takes the blunt from you and leans in closer to you. he takes a puff of the blunt and then leans in closer to you, blowing the smoke into your face deliberately. He grins at you, his eyes slightly glazed from the weed. "You like that, princess?" He asks, his voice low.

Your brain stops working, with the mixture of the weed, his close proximity and his stupid fucking hot low voice and all you do is yet again stare back with glazed over eyes and a small blush….

he notices your lack of response and grins again. "You're so cute when you're stoned, princess." He leans even closer to you, his lips almost touching yours. "Do you want me to kiss you, princess?"

You feel your heartbeat quicken and your breath hitches in your throat. Everything around you slows down as if the world has stopped around us. As he looks in your eyes all you can think about is him…

he sees the look in your eyes and smirks, closing the distance between the both of you. He presses his lips against yours, his kiss slow and sensual. He can taste the weed on your lips as he deepens the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth. He pulls away with a smirk “how was that, princess?”

Stunned you mutter out “y-yeah, it was good” your face red and hot with a small flustered smile. He smirks and winks at you… “I’m glad you liked it princess”

#jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fanfiction #stoner!jj maybank #rudy pankow #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks #jj outer banks #outer banks imagine #marvelsgirl616 — jj maybank fic #the pogues #obx #jj obx #outer banks x y/n #jj maybank blurb #jj maybank fic #jj maybank x reader

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bellatriestowritesometimes · 4 months

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To Know

aaron hotchner x reader

Summary: You attend your best friend's wedding where you see Hotch for the first time in four years since you were shot on your wedding day by Peter Lewis, forcing him to go into witness protection and leave you.

Part 2

AN/explanation:

Listen it’s been a minute since I’ve written anything and by minute I mean 4 years so bear with me!! There’s probably spelling and punctuation errors but I wrote this in the middle of the night so cut me some slack.

OK so a bit of an explanation on this.. so you know how everyone has their imaginary scenarios they make up before bed or wherever (and if you don’t you’re weird!) well this is mine!! OK not really but ever since I watched CM which was probably about 5/6 years ago now, Hotch was on my mind 24/7 and I have this plot in my head with YEARS worth of scenarios thought out with original characters and everything!! This is just a small snippet of the whole plot I have had thought out for Hotch and Alex (that is what I have named her in my head, but have obviously written it as a Y/N to make it more enjoyable I guess? Idk what people prefer!!). I could probably write a book on this crap but I’ll just start with this part. I am in the process of writing a part two to this so if anyone’s interested I’ll try to get it out before the weekend’s over as this is the only free time I have currently! Now if I ever was going to make this into a series (that’s a very big if) this would be a chapter towards the end of this plot that I have created. Anyways enough rambling…

I am an angst over any other kind of genre girly so that’s all this will be :D this seemed better in my head and it ALWAYS does but I just wanted to get it out of my system.

Hope u enjoy xx

Warnings: smut (a little not too much), cheating.

Word count: 3.9k

It was your best friend’s wedding and you couldn’t have been happier. Henry was your rock and pretty much the only family you ever had. He had been with you through everything, all the highs and lows, so he deserved today to be absolutely perfect.

You were helping Luca with his tie and giving him a final check over before he went out to marry your best friend. Luca knew how important you were to Henry and how important Henry was to you. The three of you were practically a throuple. OK maybe not a throuple but anyone who was important to Henry became important to you. They had been together for almost 5 years but knew each other for even longer.

“He’s here you know...” Luca said “Henry invited everyone from the BAU..”

You raised an eyebrow at Luca whilst finishing up with his tie.

“I know,” you replied simply.

Henry was the one who got you a job at the BAU. He knew almost everyone and if he didn’t, he knew someone who did. He had helped out with several cases and knew everyone at the BAU well, so of course they all got an invite to his wedding which was in London. Henry knew your history with Hotch and that meant so did Luca.

“He has them all staying at the Ritz you know, booked a suite out for everyone,’’ Luca rambled.

“I know,” you repeated and rolled your eyes.

Of course he has you thought to yourself, money was never an issue for him. Not that it was for you either but you were slightly more modest than him.

Luca could sense that he wasn’t going to get anything else out of you so he decided to change the topic.

“You think we’re doing the right thing?” He asked referring to him and Henry.

“Absolutely,” you confirmed “he needs you Luca, I don’t even want to imagine what he would be like without you. It’s not something I’m prepared to take on” you let out a laugh. “You two have practically been married for the last 5 years, now it’s just time to make it official!” You gave his arms a squeeze.

“I’ll see you out there, no backing out now,” you gave him a wink and Luca gave you a nod with a smile.

You took that as your cue to leave and made your way towards the alter and towards Henry. As you made your way up to the front you saw all of the guests take their seats. You spotted JJ, Will and her boys a few rows from the front, who were staying at your place for the next few days. Emily, Spencer and Garcia were seated a few rows behind them and you spotted Morgan and Savannah seated on the other side of the room. You were trying to find Rossi and Krystall until your eyes landed on someone else. There he was sitting right next to Rossi with a brunette next to him which you assumed was Beth.

“How is he?” Henry’s voice snapped you back to reality.

“Huh?” Was the only thing that came out of your mouth as you slowly dragged your eyes away from the man that left you on pretty much your death bed and then divorced you.

“Luca – how is he? He’s not making a run for it is he?” Henry laughed but behind the laugh he needed the reassurance. He hadn’t been the perfect fiancé and has put Luca through the wringer at times, but there’s no one else for Henry other than Luca and vice versa.

“Stop being stupid!” You swatted him gently, “Of course not! I stopped him just before he got to the fire exit,” you replied playfully.

“Ha ha very funny,” Henry replied dryly, “And how are you? …You know with him being here.. You did say it was okay for me to invite him but I can send him home if you want. Just tell me and I’ll have him escorted out by security-”

“Please stop, it’s fine. Honestly I mean it. We’ve both moved on. I’m with Avery now and he’s with Beth,” you answered. “Besides today is not about me or my woes, it’s about you!”

The wedding ceremony was beautiful and it was now time for the reception. You made your way round to all the tables saying hello to the people you recognised until you reached the table you dreaded the most. Thankfully your husband Avery caught up with you to let you know that it was time to make your way to your seat as it was almost time for your speech.

You gave Rossi a smile in the distance before walking back to your seat, avoiding contact with Hotch for now who was sat right next to him.

After the speeches were done and the drinks began floating around the room, everyone felt a lot more relaxed. You were listening to the conversation Emily and Avery were having about a book they both had read, until you felt someone tap your shoulder.

“Hi you must be Y/N! I’m Beth, Aaron has told me so much about you!” Beth exclaimed as you turned around to face her.

“Yes hi! It’s lovely to meet you, I’m sorry I couldn’t introduce myself earlier,” you gave her a smile.

It was a genuine smile, she seemed nice and in any other situation you could even be friends. She is not to blame for what had happened between you and Hotch, however you did wonder what kind of things he has told her about you.

“It’s okay don��t worry about it! I understand how stressful weddings are,” she continued and for a second you thought if she had married Hotch without anyone telling you. Your eyes flicked towards her left hand that was wrapped around a champagne flute. No sign of a ring. You cursed yourself for still caring enough to check.

“That’s a beautiful ring” she said bringing you out of your trance.

You followed her gaze which was now on your own left hand. You hadn’t realised that you were twisting your own wedding ring with your thumb, reminiscing about how it felt when you had the ring on that Hotch gave you. It was a lot smaller than the one you have now. It had an oval diamond in the centre with three green sapphire leaves holding the diamond in place on each side. It was a delicate ring and you loved everything about it. Everything but the dreaded memories that came along with it. The ring was now replaced with a big teardrop diamond from Harry Winston and it was beautiful. It sparkled even in the dark and felt almost heavy on your finger. You had to admit that Avery had great taste, the two of you had now been married for almost 2 years.

“Thank you..” you smiled and let a breath out you didn’t know you were holding.

“Uhm this is Avery my husband-” you cleared your throat, almost forgetting to introduce him to her.

They shared a few polite words until Beth excused herself. You assumed she had gone to find Hotch as she disappeared into the crowd.

“She seems nice,” Avery said and gave you a small smile. He knew what had happened with you and Hotch and he wasn’t his biggest fan but he was never the one to bad mouth him.

“Yeah she does…” you replied quietly whilst your mind drifted off elsewhere. Emily sensed that you were uncomfortable and resumed her conversation with Avery in an attempt to take his attention off you.

It was several hours into the reception and you had stepped outside with Luca and lit a cigarette for you both to share.

You had noticed Beth was in the distance on the phone but Hotch was nowhere to be seen.

“Today has been beautiful,” you hummed as you took a pull of the cigarette and passed it to Luca.

“It really has been, thank you for helping Henry with the planning,” he expressed.

You both conversed about the wedding and your favourite parts until someone had interrupted you.

“Oh sorry,” your eyes followed his voice, “I thought Beth was out here,” he explained as he looked between you and Luca.

“She is,” you pointed with the cigarette between your fingers “she’s just gone into the gazeebo over there to take a call I think,” you replied.

“Thank you,” he looked into your eyes longer than he should have before he began walking her way.

“Is this the first time you’ve spoken to him tonight?” Luca asked whilst following your gaze that was still on Hotch.

“Yup.”

“There’s an explanation. I am sure he has an explanation,” Luca tried standing up for the man he barely knew.

You didn’t respond and instead focused your gaze on something else.

“You know… and I really shouldn’t be saying this but... I think Henry might’ve had something to do with it,” Luca continued.

“What makes you say that? Has he told you something?” You questioned focusing your attention back on Luca.

“Nope. He doesn’t tell me anything when it’s to do with work and I thank him for it. But it wouldn’t surprise me if he did. He would do anything to keep you safe. Even if it meant putting your newly husband into witness protection…”

You thought about it for a minute or so and yes maybe Henry was the one who suggested going into witness protection but that still doesn’t explain the radio silence from Hotch even after Peter Lewis was caught.

“I want you to have what me and Henry have,” Luca brought you out of your thoughts once again.

“I have that. With Avery, he makes me happy,” you replied not knowing if it’s the full truth. Avery does make you happy and you love him but you’re not sure if it compares to what you and Hotch had and it seems like Luca doesn’t either.

“Let’s get back in there shall we? I’m sure Henry is looking for you!” You perked up, trying to change a conversation that was becoming too heavy for your liking.

Since you were one of the few people who didn’t drink at the wedding, you decided to give Emily, Spencer, and Garcia a lift back to the hotel whilst Avery, JJ, Will, and the boys got an Uber home back to your place.

The car ride back to the hotel turned into an episode of carpool karaoke with Emily blasting any and every song that came on the radio.

Once you pulled up to the hotel you helped Emily out of the car and then let Spencer take over. You were about to shut the passenger door when you noticed a phone on the seat Emily was sat in.

“You left your phone Beyonce!” You called out to Emily as she was finishing her 3rd run of single ladies from the start.

You caught up with her and placed the phone in her hand, she took one look at it and blurted out that it’s Beth’s and that she had found it by some gazebo outside.

You pressed the lock button on the side and the phone lit up revealing a picture of Hotch and Beth set as the lock screen.

“What room is she in do you know?” You asked Emily but she just shrugged her shoulders and carried on signing. Spencer and Penelope both gave you a shrug signalling that they didn’t know either.

“Right I will just leave it with reception. The three of you get some sleep ok, we have brunch tomorrow!” You shouted even though the three of them were already inside the hotel queuing up for the elevator.

You pressed the lock button once again making the phone light up just to stare at the lock screen once more. With a sigh you then began to make your way into the hotel and walked towards reception.

“Hello Miss can I help you with anything?” The lady asked.

“Uh yes actually, I’m trying to return a lost phone to a friend of mine but I don’t remember the room number. Could you please let me know? It should be a suite under the name Hotchner, they’re here for a wedding,” you smiled hoping she’d give you the information you needed.

She typed away on her keyboard for a few seconds before replying to your question.

“I have an Aaron Hotchner on the system along with a Beth Clemmons sharing suite 107?”

“Yes that’s the one! Thank you so much!” You thanked the lady and made your way to the elevator. Emily and the others were long gone, probably passed out in their beds by now you hoped.

You tapped softly on the door waiting for someone to open it and hoping that it wasn’t Beth. You weren’t even sure what you were doing, what you were going to say, what if Beth’s awake, what would happen then?

You had no excuse and no business to be knocking on his hotel door. Well aside from the fact that he left you on your wedding night right after you got shot, had someone serve you with divorce papers as soon as you came out of your coma and you still haven’t had an explanation even though it’s been close to 4 years.

After a few moments the door was gently pulled open and there he stood. Still in his shirt and trousers from the wedding. He looked taken back seeing you stand there in the hallway. Although you were the only one on his mind tonight, you still had caught him off guard.

“Hi…” Was all that he managed to say.

“Hi…” you breathed out. “..Beth left her phone at the wedding reception,” you said holding it up as proof.

You looked behind him and could see 3 mini whisky bottles that were now empty, lined up on the coffee table. On the left you could see two large double doors that were shut behind the sofa. You had assumed that’s where Beth was sleeping as there was no sign of her anywhere else.

“Oh… Well thank you for bringing it here, you didn’t have to go out of your way...”

“It’s okay I was dropping Emily and the others off anyway,” you replied whilst handing him the phone.

As he took the phone from you he moved slightly to the side, almost inviting you in before actually saying it.

“Would you like to come in?” he paused for a moment, “…please come in” he pleaded. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you the whole night I just didn’t want to disturb you. Beth’s asleep so you don’t have to worry about her or we could take a walk somewhere,” he went on; desperation clear in his voice.

Instead of replying you walked past him making your way into his room, a completely different side of you taking over.

You made your away towards the sofa, never sitting down just standing in front of it. You turned to face Hotch who closed the door and walked towards you, stopping just a few inches away. You could tell he had been drinking. You had obviously seen him drink at the wedding but he left several hours ago yet here he was emptying the mini fridge in his hotel suite.

You eyed the bottles on the coffee table.

“Rough night?’ You asked but it sounded more like a statement. When you looked back at him his mouth was slightly open, almost as if he was thinking of what to say but no words were coming out.

You tilted your head to the side as you took in his features. He looked different. Good but different. After all these years had passed, you never knew when you would be able to get a good look at him again, and god how much you’d missed his handsome face. The last memory you had of it was when you collapsed in his arms after being shot during your first dance as Mr and Mrs. You don’t remember much after that, just faint shouting in the distance as your vision went blurry until you eventually passed out in his arms.

“I- um I don’t know what to say Y/N… I don’t even know where to begin,” he expressed. Concern, pain and regret all clear in his voice.

Before he could continue you lifted your hand up in an attempt to stop him from saying anything else. That’s not what you came here for.

“I am so sorry,” he breathed out but you took a step closer to him and placed one of your fingers on his lips to silence him.

“Shh,” you whispered whilst you ran your other hand slowly down his chest stopping at the belt of his trousers. You could feel his pulse quicken as he took in what you were doing.

Never breaking eye contact you began to gently move your hand lower until you reached his crotch. You then began to palm him with a bit more force, feeling him harden underneath your touch. A slight smirk played on your lips as you realised how much of an affect you still had on him, how much his body still responded to you. You believed that you were the only one that could get him this flustered, to get him to cheat on his girlfriend, to get him this hot and bothered over practically nothing.

“Take off your trousers...” you hissed.

The concern and regret was now replaced with confusion and curiosity but he did as he was told and began to undo his belt. You watched him carefully as he dropped his trousers to the floor stopping at his boxers.

“You can leave those on, this won’t take long,” you instructed coldly and pushed him onto the sofa. As he sat down he reached over to switch a small table lamp off, leaving a soft glow on your silhouette that was coming from a floor lamp on the other side of the room.

You lifted your dress and rolled it up stopping at your waist whilst you straddled Hotch. The familiar feeling of his dick beneath you was enough to send you over the edge.

You lifted yourself up slightly using your knees and grabbed him through his boxers, silently thanking him for wearing a pair with the slit. He watched your every move and took in a sharp breath when your hand made contact with him and took another when you gently lowered yourself onto his dick.

You began rocking your hips, savouring every single second. You started to pick the pace up and you felt Hotch move in to kiss you to which you gently pushed his head back with your hand, not wanting any other intimacy other than the feeling of him inside you and maybe you inside of him.

You took two of your fingers and placed them on his lips again, this time using them to part his mouth. You gently slipped them inside and he welcomed it. You decided to push them in deeper. Not deep enough to hurt him but deep enough to your liking. Your fingers felt cold against his tongue.

At that point you knew you were close and so was he, your fingers in his mouth helped him to stifle his moans, whilst you watched him intently. After a few moments you felt him twitch beneath you as he threw his head back when he came and you shortly followed.

You removed your fingers from his mouth and gently stood up lowering your dress back down giving the man you still loved one last look before turning around to leave. Just before you got the door you stopped and turned around, he was now up grabbing his trousers off the floor.

“You left me… I was in a coma Hotch and when I came out of it you weren’t there. You left me Aaron.”

Without giving him a second to respond you left and closed the door behind you.

As you stepped into the elevator a thousand thoughts were racing in your head. You began to question yourself on why you had come here in the first place, but you knew exactly why. You wanted to see if you still had that control over him, you wanted to see if you could still have him, if he still belonged to you. And he did. You thought about how your relationship had evolved from being just co-workers to friends from friends to lovers and from lovers to strangers. That’s what it felt like being in that room with him. Just two strangers having sex. That was probably the first time the two of you had sex instead of making love. There was a difference between the two and you knew which one you preferred.

Deep down you knew why he had to leave and most importantly leave without you, but it still didn’t make it any less painful. You had thought back to what Lucas said earlier when you were outside, that Henry might’ve had something to do with it... But the truth is whether he did or didn’t it wouldn’t have changed the outcome. He needed to leave, to hide and go into witness protection. Not only for his and Jacks safety but for yours too. It all made sense. Peter Lewis couldn’t hold you over him anymore if you had no connection to him so he left. He left without you and then had you served with divorce papers.

The elevator doors opened and snapped you back to reality. You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of the thoughts. You didn’t want to go back there, you had tried your hardest to move past that part of your life and dwelling about the details and the what if’s is something you didn’t want to do anymore. You had wasted enough time doing that and you’ve moved on since then and so has Hotch. But sometimes late at night when you can’t sleep, those thoughts creep back in and they have a way of suffocating you.

“Did you manage to return your friends phone?” The lady behind the reception desk asked with a smile.

“Yes I did, thank you so much for your help again!” You replied and returned the smile.

You made your way to the parking lot and got into your car and made your way home… To your husband…. Who you had just cheated on with your ex-husband. You pulled out of the parking lot and let the memories from earlier fill your mind. You had glanced briefly at your watch and the time told you that is was quarter past three. You groaned at the thought of having to be up before 11 am later that day for a brunch that Henry and Luca had organised with a smaller amount of guests, which included the BAU team.

You had wondered if he’ll be there with Beth or if he won’t show.

To be continued....

Part 2

#ycriminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #ssa aaron hotchner #hotch x y/n #aaron hotchner x y/n #bau x reader

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#i have to drive to the big city tomorrow morning... which is...#itll b fine. ive done it multiple times before so itll b fine #but also everytime i have to drive somewhere im a sobbing mess bc its so scary #and i space out which is terrifying so i have to sing and talk to myself the whole time so my brain doesnt drift too far #and i dont kno how long i have to b there or if ill b able to find parking...#i just hate is so much. literally its not a far trip. if we have a fucking working train system there would b a train between our two #universities and it would b like 30min. such fucking bullshit. that would b incredible. i would actually b able to go places #fuck the lack of public train transportation. its stupid.#at least i was busy all day. its crazy how much less terrible my day is when im in a semi empty lab working with algae #hopefully i didnt kill the culture bc i had to transfer immediately after making media. i think it cooled enough but well see #fuck. i dont wanna drive. i should sleep so im not more insane tomorrow #its crazy how distorted i get abt driving. i will convince myself that my car is gonna like fall apart while im driving #and that im absolutely going to have an accident caused by me. so i get up like ok this is where it all ends #in a smear across the highway #oh god i have to get gas tomorrow too #thry recommended i get there at 9 but maybe ill get there 8.30 and just like sit in my car crying for half an hour #lol i turn up to the lab with tear stained cheeks like hey sorry if it seemed like i was resistant to coming down here. im very unwell ✌️#bleh. lets not think abt it. dont think just do. and pray i dont have to fucking go multiple days #my reward for success is no spring break bc a stressful project will begin this weekend #but im not even sure i have spring break bc im a lab tech so i think mayne thats not a loss? idk i dont kno #when im supposed to b working or not. it doesnt matter. my tine sheets r a lie #time sheets :-P #unrelated

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fuumiku · 2 months

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Day 2 : Role Swap

Ok I have thoughts for this one bear with me. He’s a mage with a half-foot guild still but his activism is especially targeted towards half-foot mages specifically since they’re rare and so looked down upon (and the two are correlated).

Marcille scouts out places all Tomb Raiser style for lost treasures and knowledge, keeps maps and written info etc in her book. She’s still much of a scholar but more in an archeologist sense, she wants to discover the truth of dungeons and see if it could revolutionize the world. She’s a buildings and engineering nerd instead of magic nerd. She hypes herself up as a passionate cool rogue adventurer like in books✨ Chil thinks it’s a silly and unstable profession. All her um, grace and agility when doing headstands and dancing are coming through with this new role of hers.

Chil does need to borrow mana and so they hold hands a lot. I am so taking advantage of the mana transfer thing. "I’m out of mana, you’re an elf and you never use magic, give some to me! You have so much, don’t be selfish!!" -inparty fight breaks out as he chases after her and she runs away- I imagine that’s just kinda how he and half-foot mages roll? Dunmeshi-typical worldbuilding monologue that explains how "Most people don’t even use their mana, they don’t even learn magic. If you give me your mana I’ll be able to do more magic, win-win, no harm done." I imagine you have to be magic-savvy to be able to transfer mana to someone but it’s fine he can just steal it methinks 🌟 So he gets to be the one who’s very casual about physical touch. He does NOT want to be a healer it stresses him out but ah shit there Falin goes.

More AU details under cut

You’ve heard of onion knight now get ready for onion mage Y’know the saddest part of mage Chilchuck is that he wouldn’t use explosion spells

You know how Marcille uses her staff to grab people by the neck or head sometimes… Chilchuck would have a free choking stick he can use to make people listen to him. He can REACH THEIR NECKS . It doubles as a walking stick for his old man back… /j And a weapon, sort of. I think staff more than lance, but long weapons like that suit him I think. Holding the monster at bay with a 4 feet long stick like "Stay BACK!! Go for my party members shoo shoo!!!!"

From my observations, staffs for magic all have a ‘hole’ at one end, oh size, shape, material and form varying. For example both Marcille and Rin have a similar hoop, but Falin’s is a lantern which imo the metal frame of it and the glass form this hole I’m speaking of. Maybe it’s like, the staff condenses the magic inside the hole and helps channel it and give it form? What I’m saying here is I didn’t decide what it was made out of but I like to think it’s carved wood so it can be homemade but unique to him.

Marcille and Chil both fight in battles, but he stays where it’s safer and does long distance spells only. Marcile uses daggers probably… But yeah her role’s more being a scout rather than a fighter, while Chil’s role is being a magical fighter and his expertise on magical creatures and such.

I think he’d be self-taught, where it’s his own magic system… I think he likes theory more than vibes and working at the whims of creatures, so maybe elven with an half-foot script? He doesn’t seem like the type to get buddy-buddy with spirits much A bit like his cowl it’s like he always has a part of home with him a bit with his half-foot magic… He’d have sucked at the beginning, it’s pretty experimental magic, but he made it work and tbh he’s a Big Deal for it. Learning on the field ofc ofc he’s no honor student

I think the racial prejudices tension would be worse, because he’d be nervous of the whole ‘half-foots who get too curious about dark magic get taken away’, and I think as a half-elf who doesn’t do magic it might be uncomfortable for her to deal with how the half-foot is better at it than her and how her mana would have had better use with him instead of her? Idk brainstorming. I def think she’d habe more of a complex about being a half-elf… Still with existential dread and still Hopes to find a cure to death, but she goes about it through artefacts etc rather than magic. I’m unsure how her career would turn out that wqy exactly because job stability and academia are important to her, but yeah I think she went to school on an agricultural and history level and focused her research on that front? And then she could become that adventurer scholar who explores to pierce secrets of the world and ancient civilizations trope yeah I think that’s the angle.

Maybe his plans for the future after quitting being a dungeon diver would be teacher/mentor instead of shopkeeper 🤔 One one hand oh god have mercy on his blood pressure, on the other he likes contributing to his community and would want to encourage half-foot mages and pass down his knowledge and expertise I think. Empty nest syndrome where…- OHHH mage Meijack……. I was thinking becayse Meijack followed in his footsteps in canon but it could suit Puckpatti and Flertom too… Their dad would have shown them some magic tricks hehe. They can be a magical girl trio in my heart, Powerpuff Girls energy…

A rogue has gotta be able to make intricate af braids and updos with their fingers (ignore how in canon Chil is just barely decent at them nvm). I was thinking maybe one of Marcille’s lockpicks is Ambrosia-shaped… Or maybe it’s an hairpin. Maybe she keeps her lockpicks as pins in her hair but they’re easy to grab… Getting more gimmicky by the second but my heart yearns for it I cannot lie. I ended up doing something close to canon for Marcille’s outfits but at first I imagined she’d wear stuff more akin elven fashion, short dress with pants, light material, though also with a leather armor breastblate. She has long gloves like the ones that look fancy, maybe even up her upper arm rather than just forearm ooh… Also her little pouch, which actually contains stuff this time around (lockpicks). They still have matching pouches yay

In that last doodle Chilchuck weaved her a little familiar with twigs… So it is magical but it’s hers, and it’s a second stand-in for Ambrosia. Maybe a golem… It’s very silly and prob not real in the au but the thought of it is really cute. Someone on the discord said Fantastical Beasts Pickett which yesss lmao, it’s like a pokemon for "(lock)pick it!" I love arts and crafts Chilchuck so much. Sew clothes. Weave twigs. Woodcarve. Necromance a frankenstein. He can make himself a new wife (/J I AM SO /J)

Also for Izutsumi: I think the reverse of a ninja is a bard. Take that as you will. Angry bard who grew up in a troupe……

#Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi au #marcille donato #chilchuck tims #marchil #marchil march 2024 #The way i could have had this out at lunch hour but brainrotted too hard #Content making or daydreaming it’s an all-marchil economy over here #So much half-foot magic hcs lately i love it sm #Sketch dump

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just-jordie-things · 7 months

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omg i love the way u write jjk characters! i was reading ur work and had a scenario that i thought would be so fun to read from you if you like the idea! i was thinking abt if you got drunk with them at the school (like maybe all the students sneak to one persons dorm or something), how they would act drunk, how they would treat u, what would happen etc. my favs are toge and yuji but you could do whoever ofc!

ok idk if this is exactly what you were looking for but since i've wrtten a few fics now where drinking/partying was the theme, i'm gonna assign the jjk crews their party night roles lolol so enjoy

ITADORI YUUJI is the life of the party, obviously. he's the type to bring jello shots to the function and if no one wants them, he'll eat em all himself. he's the guy that you dare to do stuff as the night goes on. he's the guy that somehow, at the end of each party, is missing a shirt. did he go swimming? did someone spill on it? did he spill on it? (most likely) everyone laughs but no one really complains about it. he's always got a fun plan or game in mind to keep the night going, and everyone's happy to have him there.

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI is the shy-at-first guest. he's slow when he first gets there, and always claims he doesn't want to get too fucked up. he's got a never ending amount of excuses up his sleeve as to why he can't take that shot with you, or be your partner for beer pong. but give him an hour to warm up. he'll spend that time lining up a fire playlist and semi-mingling. the trick to getting him to loosen up? just a quick smoke first. don't jump on him with it, but if he sees a joint being passed around, he can't resist just a couple puffs. what's the harm, right? a couple puffs and he's giving in to whatever other party shenanigans come his way.

KUGISAKI NOBARA is in charge of the photography for the evening. everyone's instagrams and snapchat stories are well taken care of when she's around. in the early parts of the evening they're casual photos, fit checks, some candids of the laughing group as they play games or eat pizza. she's quite good with lighting and angles, and no one complains when she shoves her phone in their face. as the night goes on, she probably documents more than she should- toge drawing on yuuta's face while he's passed out, yuuji shirtless and covering himself in whipped cream on a dare- but it's always too funny to go through them the next day and delete half the evidence.

PANDA is the dancer. if he's drinking, he's dancing. it doesn't matter how many drinks are in his system. it doesn't matter if the music is particularly fun- or even playing. he's got too much excitement from hanging out with his friends and is down for a good time. he's also easy to coerce into pranking someone.

INUMAKI TOGE is the coercer of pranks. if someone passes out, he's always got a marker on him. he always has the best dares for truth or dare, and isn't afraid when others want to get their revenge. he's that class-clown energy at the party. sometimes it's annoying, but it's always undeniably funny. he definitely likes those tacky party favors from spencers. especially the big dick shaped syringes for taking shots. he's got a lot of sus 'party decorations'. but let's be real it's really fucking funny when he breaks out the newest one. also if he gets too drunk he will use his cursed speech for the sake of humor.

ZEN'IN MAKI is the bartender and general caretaker of the group. she's the best at mixed drinks and knows everyone's favorite, but always has something new to try. as the designated bartender she's also the one subtly making sure everyone is on a good track for the night. most of the time it just meant keeping an eye on yuuji and toge, reminding them to have some water every once in a while went a long way. and she's not afraid to cut you off if you're getting sloppy. i also think she'd roll the fattest, cleanest joints when she's not mixing drinks.

OKKOTSU YUUTA is the first to fall asleep. he's a good time, don't get me wrong. he loves the games and the dancing and the goofing around, but he's an overworked boy and... a bit of a lightweight. motherfucker takes two hits and is shaking his head the rest of the rotation. it's kinda cute that his eyes get all red after so little before he raids the snack table. maki knows he has a five drink limit before he either needs to drink water or rally or... as usual, he's slumped into the couch and snoozing away. it's a miracle that he can sleep so hard when the music is blasting and everyone has to yell to be heard- especially when it's itadori yelling. by the end of the night, someone's thrown a blanket over him, and toge's vandalized his face with permanent marker.

#THIS WAS SO FUN AAHHH HEHEHE #megumi brainrot #yuuji brainrot #nobara brainrot #maki brainrot #toge brainrot #yuuta brainrot #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fanfiction #jujtusu kaisen fanfiction #itadori yuuji x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #inumaki toge x reader #okkotsu yuuta x reader

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asukaskerian · 1 year

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peddling svsss (spoilers abound)

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ok. Now try to sell me on SVSSS because I read the summary and go 'nope, nope, nope icky power dynamics do not want, nooooope' because if it is not that I am also amenable (Book summary: "Half-demon Luo Binghe rose from humble beginnings and a tortured past to become unrivaled in strength and beauty. With his harem of over three hundred wives, and dominion over both the human and demonic realms, he is truly the most powerful protagonist—in a trashy web novel series!

At least, that's what Shen Yuan, online alias "Peerless Cucumber," believes as he finishes reading the final chapter in Proud Immortal Demon Way. But when a combination of rage and a poor meal choice leads to his death, Shen Yuan finds himself reborn into the world of the web novel, in the body of Shen Qingqiu—the beautiful but cruel teacher to a young Luo Binghe.

Although as Shen Qingqiu, he now has incredible power and abilities as a cultivator, he’s destined to be horrifically punished for crimes against the protagonist, so this new Shen Qingqiu has only one course of action: get into Luo Binghe’s good graces before the young man’s rise to power. That’s the only way he’ll escape the awful fate of a true scum villain!")

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ^ like based on that summary, I would never read that light novel on my own

Askerian: oh man yeah it makes it sound like grooming as fuck Askerian: grooosssss

lovingthatofficeyfeel: exactly! lovingthatofficeyfeel: its like this for most of the danmei!

Askerian: it's not like that at ALL

lovingthatofficeyfeel: which is why I want to know why people like it so much

Askerian: ok first of all, the guy he's stuck inside of is a high ranking ice bitch, so he has to speak that way too, BUT! he's a huge nerd inside! Askerian: the contrast between the speech and the narration is sometimes completely hilarious Askerian: also. his screen name peerless cucumber is a dick joke. and the book author's airplane shooting toward the sky is also a dick joke Askerian: this guy is the kind of oblivious demisexual who will read a 600+ chapters harem story for the worldbuilding

Askerian: and the protagonist! he LOVES the main character, so he also looks favorably upon him getting everything life owes him including sex, he supposes, but! none of his wives LOVE HIM PROPERLY. hm. let's flame the author over that. Askerian: anyway so then he lands himself in the body of a teacher to a 14 year old abused kid. who is a kid! and a very adorable kid. yeee time to spoil the shit out of him Askerian: the issue there is that there's a system/game manager forcing plot points and assigning quests and no matter what he does some things must happen, such as his betraying his poor clingy baby student so that he can rise magnificently from a hell dimension and take his place as a demon king Askerian: so when his adorable little student comes back Pissed and starts doing things that look very similar to what happened in the book just before murdering his evil teacher, he starts running. but he also really wants to help his student survive and even thrive! but also, not die in the process PLEASE.

Askerian: meanwhile luo binghe went from abused by sensei to spoiled by sensei to "i will marry sensei when i grow up" to "STOP RUNNING FROM ME AND EXPLAIN"

Askerian: main character can't explain, btw. he'd die.

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ahahahahahahah OMG lovingthatofficeyfeel: see THIS, this is my shit lovingthatofficeyfeel: this sounds freaking God Tier hijinks humour

Askerian: it's so damn fun XD

lovingthatofficeyfeel: you should write the summaries for seven seas' danmei books

Askerian: also the System sells "small scenario pushers" for points Askerian: guy "what's that, ok, let's buy, maybe it'l save my life" => WHY DID I END UP HALF NAKED AND DRENCHED Askerian: luo binghe : hhhhhhh 🍆

lovingthatofficeyfeel: ahahahaha omg, wet hanfu Saves Lives XD

Askerian: shen yuan: idk what distracted him but time to run Askerian: luo binghe: D:< wAIT STOP BEING NAKED AROUND MY LOVE RIVALS shen yuan: oh no he wants to kill me twice as much Askerian: he's Oblivious (tm)

lovingthatofficeyfeel: omg. 'oblivious demi-sexual keeps running away from future-demon-king trying to seduce him'

Askerian: yiss

lovingthatofficeyfeel: this is a fanfic plot in the best way

Askerian: YISS. Askerian: i kinda love luo binghe's character too tbh. he's so nice! but he's such a yandere sometimes Askerian: i mean, nice. :X Askerian: "my fantasy life is to be my master's little housewife and i will burn down the world to make it happen" dude :X

lovingthatofficeyfeel: honestly, good on him for having balanced life goals XD

Askerian: as a kid he's adorable but also already "i hear what you said! i understand it! gonna do what i felt was right tho" Askerian: after he's been given unconditional love by sensei!!!!! but also betrayed by sensei!!! he doesnt know which way is up anymore. it's kinda clear that in the book he was from, his original version was using "seduction and sex with this random new girl that will disappear from the plot in five chapters" to paper the holes Askerian: like, couldn't trust anybody's love because he never had any, but desperately needed it. Askerian: this one's had a taste before, and doesn't know what he must have done to lose it, but he will fix it!! but only sensei will do Askerian: main character keeps expecting him to hook up with dozens of girls and it never happens and he's ?? while also totally missing all the admirers HE is gathering Askerian: also issues because he's a half demon, and sensei said he thought good demons must exist, but he was still rejected on reveal, so does that mean "there can be good demons but you're not one" Askerian: and since he's naturally smooth and it easily goes into manipulation, everything he does or say, sensei takes it as some underhanded threat or plot! he was a demon king in the book ok?! Askerian: book him was NOT nice Askerian: anyway a REALLY fun read

Askerian: though don't expect the sex scene to be good because it's a half-feral "fixing you via magic sex" and he canonically has huge meat :X Askerian: and since he has ZERO experience it uh, goes badly Askerian: tbh the author's gift does not lie with sexy porn

but tbf the point of the scene was NOT to be sexy, soooo...

#svsss #i fell into it now i'm taking all of you bastards with me

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themultifandomgal · 9 months

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Possibly one with Dr Halstead please where he realises his gf is pregnant before she does because he knows and recognises the symptoms very early on and he waits for her to realise and tell him and when she does, he's like "I know baby, I realised ages ago"

Or or, maybe he suggests he thinks she's pregnant and she's like "no I'm not, don't be silly" and he gets her a test and acts smug when it's positive

Idk, whatever you think

Will Halstead- Known For A While

I loved it this much I will be doing one for Will and one for Connor. Both imagines will be very similar though.

Trigger warning- emetophobia (talks about feeling sick and being sick)

Will and YN have been married for only 3 months after dating for 4 years. Of course the topic of pregnancy and babies had come up and they both knew they would like a baby at some point but they haven't been actively trying.

Recently YNs breasts have been tender but she is due for her period and it's not unusual for her breasts to grow and be sore, she also has a day before her period where she feels nauseous and a bit faint.

This morning YN wakes up feeling sick. Groaning she sits up and rubs the sleep from her eyes 'that seafood medley I had last night must not have agreed with me at all' YN thinks to herself

"Baby" Wills gruff voice pulls YN out of her thoughts "what are you doing awake?"

"Think the sea food was off. I'm gonna go grab some water, you want me to make you a coffee?"

"No, I'll get up with you" slowly YN gets out of bed and makes her way downstairs to the kitchen, but the urge to throw up overcomes her and she rushes off to the bathroom. Within seconds Will is by her side rubbing her back

"Shit. You think I got food poisoning?"

"Not sure. Why don't we get you back into bed see how you feel later" YN throws up once again but now she feels better

"I actually feel a lot better"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe I just needed to get it out of my system"

"Huh. Well I still think you should have a bed day and rest. I'll bring up some water"

Throughout the day YN stays in bed while Will waits on her hand and foot.

That was a month ago and YN's missed her period and thrown up a lot, she's also started crazing weird foods so after talking to her friend Natalie, YN has decided she should take a pregnancy test. After reading the instructions and peeing on the stick YN waits 5 minutes before looking.

2 lines

Positive!

YN excitedly runs back to the store to find a bag to put the test in. She also decides on getting some cute baby socks and a hate. While in the store YN bumps into Jay and Hailey, her brother and sister in law. YN quickly puts what she has in her hands behind her back

"Whatcha got there?" Hailey asks smiling

"Nothing" Jay moves around her to quick for her to know what he's doing. He gasps seeing what she has in her hands

"Are you pregnant?"

"Yes, but Will doesn't know yet, so when he tells you can you please act surprised?"

"Of course. Congratulations" Jay pulls YN into a hug before letting her go pay for the items.

Back at home YN puts the pregnancy test in to the small gift bag with the socks and hat. She then makes dinner for them both for when Will gets home from work.

"Hey baby I'm home"

"Hey" YN rushes over to her husband smiling wrapping her arms around his neck then placing a kiss to his lips

"Woah what's got you so happy"

"I made us dinner. Come see" YN drags Will to their dining room

"YN this is...."

"Want a drink?" YN asks

"Yeah, just a soda"

"No beer again? You feeling ok?" YN asks chuckling

"Yeah yeah, just not feeling like drinking"

"Ok soda it is" YN leaves the dinning room to grab them both a drink, but also picking up the bag. Placing the bag behind her back she carries 2 sodas into the dinning room with one hand. Will take one off her

"What's behind your back?"

"I got you a present"

"A present?" Will smiles "what for?"

"Just because I love you" YN shrugs. She hands Will the bag. He opens it up and laughs taking out the baby hat and then the pregnancy test. YN frowns not understanding why her husband is laughing

"Babe this isn't a prank or something. I'm actually pregnant"

"No I know. It's just I've known for a while. Probably a month or so"

"What? And you didn't think to tell me?"

"Wanted to see how long it would take you. I saw the early signs most people probably would chalk down to period or bugs, bit like you"

"Oh.... are you happy?"

"God course I'm happy baby" Will gets up and moves over to YN hugging her from behind "we're going to have a baby"

"We're going to have a baby" YN repeats smiling.

#one chicago imagine #one chicago #chicago med #chicago med imagine #will halstead x reader #will halstead imagine #will halstead x you #will halstead x yn #will halstead #will halstead x wife

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yestrday · 2 years

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ok so maybe you're gonna get tired of the whole bodyparts academy au BUT I've been brainrotting so hard my brain is like melting out of my ears dawg... i gotta get this out of my system or it WILL consume me... you know aethers like outfit?? his abdomen area(? idk waht its called english hard lol) hasnt left my mind its just/?!?!?!?! THE WAIST????? (men and their slutty waists smh) it just looks sooo good I want to bite and like put my hands on him and just manhandle him grraravdjñ, SO LIKE just imagine academy au mc jus kind of like obsessed with his abdomen area (again sorry dont know what its called 😭) who just coincidentally has their hands on his waist like ALL the time, and im just so curious abt how aether would react, would he show off?? would he be shy??? would he be running laps and screaming??? (idk how to end this im sorry words aren't wording how they should lmaoo)

the unbelievably deep sigh i just had when I saw this ask. and yet here I am, the sucker and fool. ready to do anything for genshin men and their impeccable body measurements.

i actually wrote something like this already 😭but I wanted to cop a feel for academy aether's tummy too yknow? or maybe I just cannot control myself when it comes to the twins

you might like: teyvat! aether and his little tummy <;33

oh, please. aether knows he's pretty. he is lumine's twin brother, after all! even before coming to this school he's turned heads left and right, so surely he could use his good looks to seduce the person of his dreams, right?

wrong.

whenever you snatch him by the waist, it’s protectiveness and not the perverted fondling he’d rather you’d do to him. aether is, after all, cute and petite. he looks like he can be easily overpowered by any of the students here and you just have that natural urge to protect him! you don’t know that aether can easily oneshot most of your harem members, but even if you did, what exactly would change?

when aether skips over to your side, you smile fondly at him and hug him by the waist to your side. it gets his heart pumping whenever you do that, hiding his flushed face behind his textbooks so you won’t suspect a thing. disappointment always floods his insides when you look at him like a brother and not a potential love interest. your waist is so small! you say like a naggy mother. you have to eat more!

it’s frustrating! lumine has to watch his brother scream into his pillow every night from her side of the room. she rolls over and tries to drown out his screams with a pillow.

“aether!” you one day call out to him. your bright smile once again beckons him to your side. he yelps when you slide a firm hand around his waist and pull him to your lap. his cheeks flush when hug him closer to your chest, and it takes everything out of him not to squirm. “i’ve got something to show you!” your breath tickles his ear and sends tingles down his spine.

shuddering out a sigh, he forces a shaky grin as he tries his best to look enthusiastic. “is this about the anime you sent me last week?” you brighten up at his remembrance and chatter on and on to him. he makes his remarks too, fueling the conversation, and as it goes on your hands continue to rover about his abdomen. you’re such a mean senior, not even noticing the bright red blush on his face! was this on purpose? it has to be!

a single feather-like stroke of his abdomen sends him shuddering and keeling over. he gasps into your collarbone, hiding his blush and heart-eyed expression. “you’re so mean, senpai,” he whimpers into your skin. “teasing me like this...”

“i-i’m sorry...” the tension of the situation has now finally dawned on you, and you blush when you feel aether’s lips quivering on your skin. “i didn’t realize that...”

your words trail off as temptation seizes your hand to feel up his abdomen once more. toned as they were, the curves seemed so tiny and fragile as they fit into your hands. a lean and slender body, yet supple enough to serve as canvas for your marks...

ah, no! what kind of senior are you, teaching such lecherous thoughts of your junior! and yet... and yet...! your eyes dart to the corner, where the blonde student is currently shaking in your grasp. the cute and helpful transfer student who you viewed as a brother now looked more and more like prey in your hands. you gulp.

“i’m sorry, aether,” you whisper, sending an excited rush through his body. “but you look so pretty now...”

his tongue feels like lead as it quivers in his mouth, but when you settle him down on the couch and hover above him, he giggles like the closeted perverted maniac that he is.

“no worries, senpai ♡~” he laughs, bringing you closer by the neck. “make sure to appreciate me more okay?”

perhaps he’ll start rolling up his uniform after this, just to make the rest of your harem jealous ☆

#yandere genshin impact #genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x reader #yandere x reader #yandere aether #genshin aether #yester.writes #yester.au — academy 📓

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