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tortoisenottortoise · 3 years

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Am I the only one who likes seeing muscular women in media more than muscular men?

Alright so, this one will probably end up much shorter and a little more ranty than I'd like, but this is kind of personal so be fairly warned.

Recently I've seen a few complaints about the new He-Man show and honestly, I fully understand and empathize with them. Whilst I haven't fully seen the show, from what I've viewed I can personally speaking agree (or at the very least understand) where most criticisms come from. I think it's incredibly shitty that the writer basically lied to his audience about how the show would run. Now normally I'd be fine with a twist such as He-man dying, but he's an important part of the show and the way the marketing & merchandising for it was running kind of comes across as him basically using He-Man's name to get people into the show. I also feel like it's fine to view Teela as obnoxious and annoying, nothing about her personality-wise seems likable to me. I also heard a few complaints about Orko's (I think that's his name, don't crucify me) backstory and how his character was handled.Yet as the title suggests one that didn't stick with me was the criticism of Teela and a general trend towards the criticism of women in media as being "masculine".

I've heard over and over that Hollywood representing strong women by giving them masculine traits is a bad thing and yet... I kind of don't get it? It feels odd to say, almost like I'm the dumbest man alive for admitting something which most people on the internet seem to be so sure about, yet I just don't understand where this is coming from. I've seen this thrown at She-hulk, Wonder Woman, Abby, and many other characters, yet when inquired it usually loops back around to, "Yeah they have muscles", and that's about it. This type of criticism in specific seems to overly focus on the appearance of said characters. It's the one critique I just can't get behind and it feels like at best it's a shallow criticism that fails to get its point across, and at worst it's actively demeaning to women who desire to or show masculine traits. But first, let me break this down into sections.

Section 1: Muscles =/= Masculinity (In my opinion at least)

Oh boy, I feel like this is a section that might rustle some feathers, but I'm going to try and explain myself best as possible. I simply do not view muscularity as a feature that is inherent to or should be inherent to men. I'm not going to pretend as if muscular men aren't more saturated in media and art, nor as if they're societally treated as masculine, but one of the reasons I fail to understand this criticism is that I see muscles beyond the horizons as being just a masculine trait.

I believe that muscles should instead be seen as a sign of hard work and determination. As someone who's currently trying (and struggling) to stay healthy and fit, it's much harder than a lot of media portrays it to be. It's a test where you push yourself to the limits, not just for the sake of doing it, but so you can improve as a person. Whenever I go to the gym and see a muscular gal or guy walk by, my immediate thought isn't, "how masculine" or anything like that my thought is, "wow! They worked hard to get like that, I should work hard as well!".

This interpretation tends to feel like it's just simply taking a piss on people who actively work hard to achieve higher levels of strength. Especially when society places and enforces these unrealistic standards onto people. If you don't have a six-quintillion pack nor can bench press a fucking house then you're worthless, of course, that is unless you actually attempt to pursue said standards which in that case you're automatically dismissed as cheating your way to gaining your muscles instead of putting any work in. And that's just for men who often don't have to deal with traditional idiots who are stuck in the year 1950 where I can't walk on the same street as them. My skin crawls when reading tweets from older men talking about how weightlifting women are "ruining their fertility" and I absolutely hate it when people in my life treat these women as if they're mythical creatures from a fairy tale, or when females who have trained to such a degree are simply dismissed as being inferior.

Obviously, I don't think the people who say this are like that, but whenever I hear this type of critique I can't help but think of the culmination of all these experiences I've gone through. But then again, this might honestly just be because I'm personally attracted to muscular women.

Section 2: Body type diversity

Another reason that I tend to like muscular women in media over muscular men is simply due to the sheer oversaturation of muscular men. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem if anybody likes muscular men. I totally get wanting to shove your face in between some man titties or get inspired by their physiques. In all honesty, almost everything I said earlier can directly apply to men, but one of the reasons I bring up body type diversity is that there tend to be much less muscular women than men. I

f anything, I'd have to say that muscular men are almost treated as the default when it comes to things like superhero comics, movies, video games, anime, etc. In a similar vein, the default for women tends to be slim and curvaceous, you get the drill. Whenever someone who doesn't fit into either body type shows up and isn't treated like a joke/gag or a character to rip on, I can't help but be happy about it. As much as I have no clue wtf is going on with TLOU2, I can appreciate that Abby's portrayal doesn't seem to exist solely as a joke meant to demean women for working out. I'm excited when an anime protagonist is a fat character who can go beyond just being a "fat guy" and is treated the same way a normal person would be.

Regardless of what you think about whatever trait you're criticizing, there's probably someone out there who fits it. If you're not into it or dislike it, then that's fine, but I'd rather have that expressed than it being actively made out as a harmful trope as opposed to just literally another body type that some women have.

Section 3: Muscular women inspire me more

Ok so, we've now blown into a full-on personal experience, buckle up boys, girls, NBs, anything in between, and I feel like I'm forgetting someone so apologies! But yeah, muscular women in media tend to be a lot more inspiring than people seem to give them credit for. This comes down to a mix of both the qualities I outlined earlier in what makes the characters inspiring but also plays into the idea of body diversity.

One of the traits that make amazons seem more inspiring is their inherent rarity/lack of screentime. As I stated earlier, whilst I do enjoy my fair share of man-titties, it kind of gets to a point where it's more depressing than inspiring when all you see is just super-models shoved in your face whenever you walk into a theater. If for every Goku I could find ten other guys who were on the chubbier side then I'd be able to take more from when I see Goku and other characters with his body type, yet it's so saturated that it no longer becomes something to aspire to, but simply the norm. It's not that you can work to become muscular or skinny with hard work and effort, you have to be muscular or skinny unless you want to be deemed a failure. Being chubby often isn't presented as a starting point but just treated as a defect. As someone who spent years battling with my own self-perception, that's just not a good message to get across.

Now, this obviously isn't to say that people can never make muscular characters. After all, it's their story so they can put whatever they want in it. The aim of the game isn't to stop people from making a specific type of character, but to encourage a diverse set of people to make a diverse set of characters. This is the reason why I view muscular women as so inspiring. Instead of coming across as just "the norm" or "the standard" they stand out from the crowd and despite knowing what they have to deal with, are still ready and willing to work out and improve their bodies. They had a goal in mind and set time aside to achieve said goal, that's something I can get behind.

Conclusion:

This will be another short section, but I just wanted to mention it because it caps off my thoughts on this post in general. What originally started as me just not getting the reason why people disliked Teela's design somehow turned into a passionate rant and I'm A) not sure if it fits on this particular subsection of the community, B) scared I'm going to get ripped to pieces, and C) somewhat unsatisfied with all that I said. At the end of the day, this probably won't be seen by too many people, but to those who do see it, I hope you have a wonderful day. I just wanted to talk about something that was near and dear to my heart and hoped that I made it clear why I view things the way I do.

P.S: Can we stop having this double standard where we act like women whose arms show the slightest hint of definition are "unrealistic" whilst men can look like tree trunks and be considered normal and healthy? please and thank you!

#rant post #character rant #please help I'm new to tumblr and a boomer when it comes to tags #tropes #trope discussion

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floraisann · 4 years

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ateez reaction: you’re addicted to animal crossing: new horizons

➣ requested? ✓

➣ genre: fluff, humor

➣ masterlist

sorry that some of these are kinda dry 😔 i am try

❅♩♬♩❅――

❥ kim hongjoong:

lets you do your thing tbh

you’ll probably just be vibing in the living room with the switch hooked up to the tv and everything’s great when hongjoong just,,,, moves his work over without saying anything

you’re just ???? and he’s just :)))) the “just another tuesday” grin, you know?

after long enough if you ask him why he moved, he just says he “likes the soundtrack” like bro we do be bopping to the animal crossing ost out here in this quarantine joint

watches you play, only making comments when a villager says something REALLY cursed

really likes marshal— he’s funny

not the type to hate villagers either except chops, fuck chops

once yunho shows him how the custom qr code outfit designs work you’re about to have the most stylish lil mayor that ever roamed the earth

probably also borrows your switch to make your town jingle

overall is just confused by the game dynamic, but likes the music and how happy it’s making you :)

you’re gonna have to put the switch down on your own honey, he’s too caught up in bopping to the music while doing his own work to realize you’ve been playing for eight hours

❥ park seonghwa

has the game too, probably bought it for you so you could build “couple islands” and be THAT cute gamer couple

still probably nags you for gaming too hard if too many hours pass and you’re ignoring basic needs to like,,,, get lolly on your island or something of the sort

but lolly’s cute give him 5 mins to fall in love w god cat

sends you cute in-game love letters when you’re headass six feet away from each other in real time

but it’s ok they’re cute and he likes making you blush

brings his pretty flowers to your island he also steals yours but that’s okay

dumbfounded by your blatant aggression towards certain villagers

offers to “trade” villagers with you to make you happy and marshal scares him please take marshal from him

yes he’ll bring you cute snacks as if you were studying

overall happy that you found something you enjoy together, but will make you take frequent breaks so you don’t put off whatever you actually have to do too much

❥ jeong yunho

didn’t get the hype at first. bought the game since he thought it had to be super fun if you were ignoring him for hours at a time to go bug catching LMFAO

yet when he downloads it there’s a catch

mr epic gamer, unlike you, has the luck of a god and generates an actual island paradise and probably gets a ton of shooting star fragments too 😔✊🏻

you’re the one stealing from his island, but it’s okay he loves you 💕

and he doesn’t quite understand the game yet

gives you star fragments because you can’t get any and he doesn’t want you all sad because you can’t make a wand!!

has all the cute villagers, but if any try to move will give them to you

pays off your tom nook debt because with his luck it probably takes him less than an hour to get filthy rich in game

also figures out the qr code outfits early on. yes he’ll try to make you one, yes he’ll make himself match

overall, he gets the game because of you but does it better because it’s yunho why wouldn’t he xoxo

still makes sure you’re doing what you need to before you go off to work on your island for six hours; the type to offer game rewards he magically obtains as a prize for you after you finish your daily work

oh to be jeong yunho

❥ kang yeosang

the president of the epic gamer club

probably persuaded you to buy it with him so he could rob your island of all your goods

makes you both reset the game until your islands both have good items but are different

so he can steal your fruit :D

“y/n, you— no, restart. you can’t have peach trees, i already have peach trees!”

“dates” where you guys lie on his bed with your consoles, literally just exploring each other’s islands

y’all practically end up sharing two islands. that’s how much you play together

invites you to go raid the other members’ islands

cursed humor carries into the game; like he’ll send you crackhead mail when you least expect it and the content WILL be something that’s only funny because it’s Yeosang

“you make me so incredibly happy, y/n. almost as happy as when tom nook first handed me my nookphone. almost”

celebrates with you when you’re both rid of the ugly villagers

overall impartial to your obsession, rather he’s glad he has someone to steal from share with

still will make you take breaks with him. he loves that you’ve got a pretty island but you need to take care of yourself sweetie

if you don’t listen he will randomly come on your island to beat you up with a shovel xoxo yeosang luvs u 😘

❥ choi san

would not mind the game at all if it weren’t making you IGNORE HIS NEED FOR CUDDLES >:(

tbh san would probably whine about being attention starved for an eternity 15 mins until he realizes his whining isn’t working, and he has no choice but to cuddle up to you while letting you do your thing

by that i mean he’s backseat gamer all the way, no i do not accept criticism

he’d probably just plop down next to you and cuddle into your side or lay on top of you— just positioning himself in some way that he can see your gameplay

the type to cling to you while you play while bothering you until you accept his game opinions as fact

can and will make you kick out the villagers he thinks are ugly

“i just want you to kick that smelly limberg out, is that really too much to ask?”

probably spent 10 minutes absolutely losing his shit over the animal crossing language

“WHY ARE THEY TALKING IN KEYBOARD SMASH?”

takes the next half hour to learn how to speak it

so next time you play too long and ignore him, will shut off your switch then lay down on you and scream acnh villager language gibberish in your EAR

"you didn’t have a problem with that voice three hours ago when you were talking to that cat rosie!!” :(

if you really ignore him and never stop playing NOTHING is stopping him from being dramatic and saying smth like “y/n, i can’t take this anymore! choose, me or him!”

“him” is tom nook

why the fuck would you pick tom nook

❥ song mingi

knows the game is popular but wasn’t bothered to try playing

so when he sees you, curled up on the couch in the same position he saw you two hours ago just with one less family sized bag of chips, he quietly sighs to himself and sits next to you

“is the game really that interesting?”

when you nod, he ends up like san and kind of chills with you, backseat gaming mode

except he isn’t yelling at you to kick out the ugly villagers, he can already see you trying on your own

gets shocked when the first tarantula appears and you get bitten

occasionally gives input on what he thinks you can do to have a better island

makes you go on an island tour so he can see what you headass just spent the last week making

actually is impressed by how much work you put into your virtual island

congrats! you’ve unlocked an achievement! : gaming livestream date for song mingi

will decide for himself who the cutest villager is then act cute and ask if he looks like them. it’s probably gonna be kid cat. tell him he does. please, Tell Him he looks like kid cat

basically i don’t think he’d be that put off by you getting addicted to the game because!!! acnl is the most relaxing game ever he likes to watch you while he unwinds after a long day

if you play too long though he won’t really say much, just sit by you pouting like :(((( “lov me”

pls love him, the big babie 🥺

❥ jeong wooyoung

another member that probably has the game, but isn’t as obsessed as you

will beg you for shooting star fragments if you get any though. please get this man a wand

does not get WHY you’re trying so hard on your island layout. literally only wants one villager, his island can go to shit so long as he has that one villager

that one villager is probably gonna be molly or something

another member who learns how to imitate animal crossing speak, except his voice is already in the correct pitch

makes fun of you complaining about a villager you hate but it all comes back to bite him in the ass once moose shows up on his island and he gets it

you guys are having a competition to see who can get sprinkle on your island first

spoiler alert: he wins, he stole her from seonghwa

(he steals a lot from seonghwa)

overall happy with the fact that you guys have a game to play together

but if you grind too hard on your own and ignore him for hours at a time can and will invade your island to steal your fruit and trample your flowers. AND send you spam mail

sorry

❥ choi jongho

doesn’t care for the game, and he’s mostly chill too so he’ll probably just vibe in the other room while you play, waiting for you to finish so he can do something with you

comes out a few hours later when you’re (still) lying on the couch, angrily button mashing while muttering curses to yourself

he’s really confused tbh, he’s seen yeosang play, he knows you don’t gotta go that hard to be a successful mayor, so he HAS to ask what the fuck you’re so mad about

“i’m TRYING to catch a blittering at the moment, but i keep getting these stupid carps!!! i have a debt to pay off, god!!”

becomes infinitely more amused with the game after that point

he thinks its so funny how someone could get heated while playing through probably the most relaxing game ever

watches you fish; he enjoys the puns and seeing you get frustrated when you keep catching those goddamn carps

probably takes the switch from you at one point to try his hand at it and catches a koi fish in his first five minutes

“i guess you just suck at fishing, y/n”

overall pretty unbothered by your love for the game until you start ignoring him

then he will threaten your in-game apples, saying he’s .2s away from stealing one of his members’ switches just to brawl with your trees

and we all know who’s gonna win between jongho and apples

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez headcanons #ateez scenarios #ateez writing #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez humor #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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botwstoriesandsuch · 4 years

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Just me rambling about Breath of the Wild’s opening cut scene because it is masterfully crafted and just a really good display of fantastic game design and story telling...Welcome to my TED Talk.

[And spoilers for the end game, of course]

The first five minutes of game is a master class in foreshadowing and developing the tone that is set for the rest of the game.

The very fist screen that you see, besides the simplistic title screen, which is genius by the way. Having a super unassuming and small logo really puts into perspective how Nintendo doesn’t need to amazing with it’s title right away, the gameplay speaks for itself. Anyhow, the first screen is that of light and darkness. Obviously, it can be interpreted as Zelda’s awakening power, and in a broader sense, the small silver of hope everyone has that the Calamity could be defeated. Most of all, it’s framed in a way similar to how one would open their eyes for the first time, squinting in the light. (Yeah I know all that is kinda obvious...but still, I just think it’s neat)

[more below the cut]

It also perfectly parallels the end of the game in its framing and lighting. Even the opening hum, is the same sound as the Bow of Light being drawn and Zelda appearing out of Dark Beast Ganon.

Ok back to the opening scene. Now the act of Link actively opening his eyes, we’re greeted with this frame, Zelda now clearly telling Link to open his eyes, and we get this blue shape (which is the glow of the shrine) but it’s in the shape of an eye, mimicking Link’s own blue eyes.

Now I get that most of us are used to it by now, but just imagine, or remember the feeling of waking up in here. Most loz games start you off in a cozy home, a forest, or at the very least somewhere medieval. But waking up in this futuristic bath tub immediately places you completely out of your comfort zone. Whether you played every Zelda game, or this was your first, this setting is completely foreign and you have no idea what’s going on. And that feeling of not understanding or grasping where or when you are, immediately puts you in the same shoes as your playable protagonist, Link. Nintendo has already made you sympathize or at the very least find comfort or familiarity in Link.

Now does this look familiar?

It will...

(Also the parallel with the Great Plateau,overrun with the beauty of nature, vs the complexity of a man made castle. Plus the Calamity being portrayed more as a disease that festers upon Hyrule rather than just some tyrannical guy? *chefs kiss* I love my narrative parallels.)

Anyhow, next we have the Sheikah technology. There are a lot of references to blue in the game. From Link’s blue eyes to the Sheikah slates blue eyes, to the Champions tunics and the royal blue shared by the royal family. Blue is the least common color in nature (other than the sky/water. You don’t see a lot of blue trees, grass, animals, or rocks, do you?) so the rarity of it in the vast natural land of Hyrule, emphasizes it’s importance right away. Blue = power/importance. Through out the game, you’re drawn to the blue glow of shrines and towers (although initially orange, but after they are blue, more explanation later...), along with the blue of the water, in which Nintendo intentionally places civilization/treasure across. Plus, the opposite of blue, is the purplish/red glow of ganon. Mmmmm color coordination.

The layout of the Shrine of Reserrction is a straight line, leaving no room for player error/distraction. It’s forcing you to go down it’s desired path. (At least initially...*cough cough* speed running and wall clipping *cough cough*) So the straight forwardness emphasizes the artificial nature of the place.

Now, when exiting the Shrine, the artificial glow of the Sheikah lamps is now replaced with the warm orange sunlight. (See what I did there? Get it? It’s another parallel with the Sheikah technology colors, with the unused technology glowing orange, but when actively used by Link is glows blue? Therefore kinda giving blue an association with technology and power again, and orange with nature and exploration?)

Also more parallels with light/hope

Exiting the Shrine smoothly teaches you how to interact with objects, walk, and climb very naturally. It also teaches you the importance of the Shrine pedestals, an attraction towards chests, and ingraining you with the desire to explore, as the setting give you no information whatsoever. Even Zelda’s dialogue is vague, just saying “long slumber” and not how long, or “that [Sheikah Slate] will show you the way” giving no specifics. And that’s why its all the more satisfying when the vastness and detail of the outside world hits you. You are starved of information, making you more susceptible to the game’s theme of exploration.

The cold, artificial, dark enclosed space of the Shrine, gives way to this shot.

Do I even have to say anything? The way the music swells as Link runs out into the field, and the camera pulls out to really show the vast scope of things. The center piece of a dark castle in the distance, the symmetrical framing of Death Mountain and the Hebra peaks? The lush green shade in the foreground shifting into darker shadows and silhouettes when nearing the horizon hear the Calamity? The way the ridge to the side obstructs the view of Medoh and Naboris, with the natural angles of the mountain ranges hiding Rudania and Ruta? The fact that the sun is just rising, symbolizing a new morning. AND the stark contrast with the artificial, straight line Shrine you just went through, now your new path is more open. Even the path you take to the Old Man is curved, and at a much steeper decline. Also, notice how you’re declining, moving down and out of the Shrine, might not be a stretch to say it’s like you were descending from heaven as the savior of Hyrule. You’ve come back down to the ruins of a fallen kingdom. Although you don’t know that yet.

The opening shot gives no big signs of civilization, the castle being too far out into the distance, and the trees obstructing any destroyed ruins. So when panning to the much closer and reachable Temple of Time, it really grabs the player’s attention. The framing of the Temple of Time is in such a way where it still looks intact. The gaping hole in it’s side faces in the other direction. All it seems to imply is that it’s old. No ruined guardians, or clear, distinct destruction can be seen yet. Also, the point of the Temple’s tower is in line with the Duel Peaks, almost perfectly. Both have stood the test of time, but it was the construction of man that did not last, where as nature has stood strong.

Then, pan into the Old Man, a mysterious figure, you don’t know if they are friend or foe. But given your circumstance your eager to explore and investigate. Especially with how he is placed in front of an warm orange fire, because yeah more color coordination. Orange, serves a similar purpose as the color blue for attracting the players attention, but it’s symbolism is different. One, for it’s association with nature as previously state, but now here in the context of familiarity. Throughout the game, when you see a campfire, that either means enemies or people. All the same, it means company and you’re drawn to it.

The camera zoom and focus of the scene barely shifts at all. When you first exit, Link is at the low center of the screen, even with the pan to the Temple of Time, and the Old Man is also in the low center of the screen. This anchor point allows for a smooth transition with the players attention, and adds to the natural environment and tone of the scene.

So here you are, heading east, towards the sun, an old man, a camp fire, and the Temple of Time. No coincidence they are all in the same direction.

Just look how much story and tone you are able to grasp in the first five minutes????? It embeds the feeling of curiosity and the desire to explore by starving you of information and freedom, before punching you in the face with the openness of Hyrule. It foreshadows a conflict with Ganon, a disease that ravage the world of man, and will next take on nature. The themes of technology and civilization, of time moving on. COLOR COORDINATION. And just the overall wonder of opening your eyes to an beautiful world waiting to be discovered. All this is conveyed to you whether subconsciously or unconsciously.

That’s five or less minutes in to a game you can very well pack hundred of hours into.

Ugh, I love this game.

#botw #breath of the wild #legend of zelda botw #loz botw

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radramblog · 3 years

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Ninty Direct Feb 2021 Thoughts

That was uh. Kind of disappointing, actually.

I suppose it was inevitable that we weren’t seeing Pokemon since they’re gonna do their own announcement. But like. Coulda done better here.

(oh no you’re now introduced to my awful awful handwriting, is this better or worse than my cursed interests? you decide)

Anyway I wrote down everything they announced so here we go

Pyra/Mythra in Smash: I don’t give a single shit about the Xenoblade series, but it’s one of like 2 IPs Nintendo has had in the last decade so sure whatever they can have second a character as a treat. I’m mostly just annoyed this wasn’t a third-party character.

Fall Guys Switch: This feels inevitable. It also feels about 5 months too late.

Outer Wilds Switch: I’ve heard some absolutely excellent things about this game, so fair enough. I’m not sure I’d buy it on the Switch, but I haven’t bought it at all yet, so.

Famicom Detective Club: This looks like a Ren’py game if it had an actual budget, but still used Ren’py for some reason. Prooobably not biting on this one chief.

Samurai Warriors 5: The only Warriors game I’ve played is the first hyrule warriors, and the only Nobunaga game I’ve played was Pokemon Conquest (it’s a trip), so. I don’t understand the obsession they have over there for this bloke, like imagine if Australia made like a tv series a year and a large handful of video games about Ned Kelly or something.

Legend of Mana: Shit I should go play Octopath Traveler huh

Monster Hunter Rise: Those monster designs looked pretty kickass, and those human designs made me crack up laughing. I’ve never played Monster Hunter, and I don’t think this is gonna change that.

Mario Golf: Hey look they confirmed Waluigi as playable ahead of time so people wouldn’t complain, good job guys. The multiplayer of this looked silly as hell, but I’m not spending 80 bucks on wii sports tennis for a multiplayer mode ill drag my mates to play all of once before we go back to playing Beetle Adventure Racing.

Tales from the Borderlands: Wait telltale is still around? Ok…? I haven’t played Borderlands and don’t really care for the Telltale style so nah

Capcom Arcade Stadium: They could have made a peripheral like the NES/SNES mini, but they didn’t, and it’s for the best. The fact that one of the games is free implies to me that the rest are going to be overcosted, though.

Stubbs the Zombie: What the fuck am I looking at. Apparently this is a remaster of an old Xbox game, but I’ve never heard of it. Weird as fuck, but sure.

No More Heroes III: No more Heroes is a franchise that I’ve never played, but always wanted to. It seems right up my alley aesthetic-wise, and the gameplay looks pretty solid too- probably gonna try one of the older ones first, though.

Neon White: Speaking of aesthetic. This looks anime as fuck and edgy in a good way, and the gameplay looks real fun. I actually really want to check this out, and no, it’s not just because of the skull masked goth gf on the cover. (Doesn’t hurt, though.)

DC Super Hero Girls Teen Power: Jesus, this looks like a bad tie-in game from the mid 2000s. Not like Battle for Bikini Bottom, more like a Jimmy Neutron. And while I really liked the Jimmy Neutron game as a kid (shame about the show), this doesn’t look like it’ll stand up to that…high bar. Listening to this trailer made me want to die a little bit inside.

Plants Vs Zombies: Battle for Neighbourville: I miss PopCap. Peggle 3, never.

Miitopia: This looks cute, and will probably lead to the same sort of 3am DMs that happened with Tomodachi Life. If it’s a full priced game, it probably won’t sell at all.

Animal Crossing New Horizons Mario items: uhhh sure. Don’t have that game, so.

Triangle Strategy: Aww fuck it’s a final fantasy tactics that looks like octopath and it might have an actually good story, shiiiiiiiiit. I’m gonna give the demo a try before I land on this, but I’m optimistic.

Star Wars Hunters: When was the last time we had an actually good Star Wars game? And don’t say Fallen Order. Yeah, didn’t think so.

KO City: Ah, the bottom of the barrel. Didn’t think it would take this long. At this point, the pseudo-cartoony style everything has because they’re trying to ape Fortnite is extremely grating on me. (I definitely thought this ad was for Fortnite stuff at first)

World’s End Club: OK this one has me actually hyped. I knew that Kodaka (director/writer of the Danganronpa series) and Uchikoshi (director/writer of the Zero Escape series) were working on a joint project, and we’re finally seeing the results. Both of them have multiple excellent games under their respective belts, and this new game looks like a fun spin on what I’m sure a lot of people were expecting from the pair. Literally both of them have made a game where (spoilers I guess, Keara stop reading here you haven’t played VLR yet) there’s a death game going on while the characters are unaware the world fucking ended, so to see the idea of the death game getting interrupted and the characters actually having to live in the dead world is really cool. I’m paying cloooose attention to this one.

Hades (Physical Release): Dang now if I buy hades I can choose to have some of my money go to EB games or JB hifi or something. Cooooooooooooool.

Ninja Gaiden Collection: This just made me wonder why Ryu Hayabusa isn’t in Smash yet. Is it because there’s already a Ryu?

Age of Calamity DLC: I don’t think I mentioned this in my post yesterday, but I would have put money on DLC for this game coming out. I still haven’t played it, but the first Hyrule Warriors had so much fucking DLC so this was inevitable in my eyes.

Bravely Default 2: Uhhh its another JRPG man idk what you want me to say. Didn’t play the first one, apparently its good.

Ghosts n Goblins Resurrection: Kinda funny having this next to the free original in the Capcom Arcade Stadium. Capcom is reviving old franchises, I guess? Where’s Mega Man Battle Network, cowards?

SaGa Frontier: I’ve heard good things about the SaGa series, but this looks awful. Not like gameplay wise, the style for the models and shit in game just disinterests me.

Apex Legends: Is anyone still playing this game?

BOTW 2 (no news): I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. Next Direct, I guess.

Skyward Sword HD: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

Seriously though, I was expecting 3 of the best Zeldas ever made to get ports, and we got the one that I wasn’t interested in. Fuck you too, I guess.

Splatoon 3: I actually was super interested in this, seeing as the trailer looked like it was gonna be for some like… side game, 3D RPG or something, exploring the origins of the Splatoon world? But then it’s just Splatoon 3. And like, I know people really like that series, but it never appealed to me. The world is neat! But I’m not interested in the series as it is.

And that’s the tea.

ADDENDUM:

shit that’s this weekend? huh ok -New Hearthstone expansions revealed, kinda like WOTC does with magic every so often, just like “here’s the next couple sets btw”. Since they do nothing but plagiarise off each other and MTG is having a set based on another WOTC property this year (D&D), there’s going to be a Starcraft set. -Diablo 4 release date that will not be stuck to since COVID is still a thing -people are hoping for starcraft 3. Blizzard to announce Starcraft 2 Episode 1. -New WoW expansion announced, determined objectively to be “worst ever” before trailer is even finished

#ramble #video games

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365days365movies · 3 years

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March 2, 2021: The General (Review)

Just like The Gold Rush, this was a charming movie!

Keaton, unsurprisingly, turned out a fantastic film, especially for the time period. Seriously, it’s insane how well this film holds up today! Shame that it almost ended Keaton’s career altogether. Because this film was NOT successful in 1926, mostly because dude made a film about the Civil War, with the Confederates as the heroes, only about 60 years after the conflict! Yeah, people weren’t hyper-jazzed about that.

UA was now super-against funding films where Keaton had complete and total control. But, he was still Buster Keaton, so they kept him on, but put some restrictions on him. Ironic, given that UA was founded to prevent EXACTLY that. Keaton was not about it, even though the two films that followed were at least somewhat successful. One of them, Steamboat Bill, Jr., produced ANOTHER of the most iconic shots of film history.

Yeah...wow. But this was the last film that Keaton made with UA, and he moved to another studio after this: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, or MGM. And THAT was a HUGE mistake, because his creativity was heavily restricted by the mega-studio, and they would deny many of his requests. If it weren’t for them, Keaton would’ve broken into talkies FAR earlier than he did, and may have revitalized the entire industry. They also made him use a stunt double, forced dialogue on his scripts when he’d purposely omitted it, etc. He wasn’t happy.

And not just in his career, either. See, it’s around this time that his marriage to Natalie Talmadge completely falls apart. They give it another shot in the early ‘30s, but officially separate and divorce in 1932, with Natalie getting basically all of this money, and taking his kids away from him. This, combined with his struggles with MGM, drove Keaton to alcoholism, and he was institutionalized. There, he met his second wife, nurse Mae Scriven. That lasted 2 years, after an unhappy Keaton cheated on her in 1935. And again, the divorce left Keaton essentially bankrupt.

MGM was tired of him, too, and in 1933, they fired him. Not a great year for Keaton. He signed on with a few other studios, became a writer for the Marx Bros (more on them tomorrow), and was eventually hired by Columbia Pictures in 1939. And that was...OK, but Keaton wasn’t happy still. And then, on the horizon...look! It’s another marriage! This time, it was to Eleanor Norris, whom he married in 1940. Their marriage would last for 26 years.

And Keaton was still around. This happy marriage apparently stabilized him a little bit, and he’s able to re-release his old films with new music. He also gained new fame on a new medium: television. He appears on talk shows and game shows from the 1940s into the 1960s, while also appearing in films throughout the ‘50s and ‘60s! He eventually made a return, and even had a cameo in...It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World WAIT WHAT

HOLY SHIT IT IS HIM!!! How did I never know this? One of my favorite comedies of all time, with a metric fuckton of cameos in it, and how did I not know that Buster fuckin’ Keaton was one of them? Hot damn! His last major film appearance was in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum three years later, and at 70 years old, he still did his own stunts and pratfalls. A class act until the end. Literally.

Because, much to his own surprise, he died of terminal lung cancer on February 1, 1966. And I say to his own surprise because...well, nobody ever told him he was diagnosed with cancer. Yeah, he thought he had bronchitis, and was diagnosed a month before his death! He never found out that he had cancer! Isn’t that fucked? Today, he’s buried in Forest Lawn Memorial Park, in Hollywood, CA, with a hell of a lot of other stars. Crazy, huh?

Oh, and do yourself a favor: even if you don’t watch his films, just browse this website (or even the GIF feature in post-writing) for GIFs of Buster Keaton. He’s a legend, and you can see why through these GIFs alone. But enough about his career as a whole: what about this film by itself? Well, read this for a Recap, and read on for my Review!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

Well, first things first, Buster Keaton was a star for a reason. He’s unsurprisingly fantastic in this film, and his comedic stylings are far different from Chaplin’s. His deadpan expression is oddly iconic, and works well in the environs of the film. And that’s not saying anything about the action...but I’ll save that for later. How was everybody else? Marion Mack was pretty good, better than Georgia Hale was in The Gold Rush, anyway. Glen Cavender...existed? Yeah, outside of those two, nobody gets much attention. Granted, it’s Buster Keaton, so the film could get away with that.

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Obviously, here, we need to focus more on the plot than the writing, but it’s still good! I didn’t touch upon the real historical event this is loosely based on (and I do mean loosely), but it’s an interesting story. Throwing in the love story alongside wasn’t a bad idea, either. Do I think it’s perfect? I mean, no, for a few reasons. Mostly the fact that...this doesn’t really feel like a comedy. Like, I know that it is, and there are enough moments that feel comedic...but just barely. This works far better as an action film than it does a comedy, is what I’m saying. Is it fair to judge it by comedic metrics, then? Maybe not, but this film has always been billed as a comedy, and...I don’t think that fits. Sorry...all five writers of the screenplay. Damn, really? Yeah, alongside Buster Keaton, we’ve also got Al Boasberg, Clyde Bruckman, Charles Henry Smith, and Paul Gerard Smith on this. Huh. OK, then.

Direction and Cinematography: 10/10

I mean...come on. This is fantastic. Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton direct, while Bert Haines and Devereaux Jennings are the cinematographers, and all of them do a fantastic job. I don’t even have much to say here, because the directing and shot composition of this film are wonderful. Seriously, no compaints.

Production and Art Design: 10/10

THEY. COLLAPSED. A BRIDGE. WITH A TRAIN ON IT. FOR REALSIES.

Music and Editing: 9/10

Finally, I did enjoy the music for this one! Editing here (by Buster Keaton and Sherman Kell) is great, while the music (by...one of people, depending on the edition you’re watching), is great! I think my version was by William P. Perry, but I’m genuinely not sure. I version I watched had some great music, though! Not as memorable for me as The Gold Rush, but still fantastic on its own.

92% capacity on the Hype Train! All aboard!

A hallmark of film history, as previously detailed! But now that that’s done, it’s time to break the silence. See, in 1927, the “sound film” or “talkie” finally came onto the scene, thanks to new cameras and film-making technology. Sound could now be tied with film footage, leading us into a new era for film, and for the comedy genre of film. Now, you could HEAR the jokes, rather than see them. And, as if to make up for lost time, the next burgeoning film stars would be fast-talking, wisecracking jokesters, and the next heirs of the vaudeville era. And one group would take this role above all others. And we’ll look at them next.

April 3, 2021: Duck Soup (1933), dir. Leo McCarey

#the general #the general 1926 #clyde bruckman #buster keaton #marion mack #glen cavender #jim farley #comedy april #user365 #365days365movies #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year

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grouptalekindnesssoul · 4 years

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The Dragon Guarded Weapon

Warnings: Contains darker themes

This is also a first draft! So, any feedback is appreciated. It’s also very rough.

As if spawning into a game, a young woman appeared in the center of the street. She then shook her short hair out of her blue eyes before slipping through the crowd with practiced ease, headed for a weaponsmith’s. She nodded to two other girls of about the same age as she passed. The black dyed hair bobbed as one slung a bow over her shoulder. The second had no obvious weapons, but a satchel was hanging across her body.

“You must be the adventurer newbie. Look around, find something to your liking. I’m guessing something lightweight?” The towering, honey-toned smith asked, his voice like boulders crashing together. I shook my head and looked around, hovering over a wicked set of knives before pointing to a hammer.

“That looks to be my style” He looked at me funny but handed it to me. I tested it out by swiping it through the air. I rested it on the ground as I strapped on the sheath, standing just taller than me.

“It suits you. Where are you off to now?” He asked as I paid. “Guards building. I’m fighting the head so we can take missions. My teammates agreed to a one on one, with me as the representative.” I smiled maliciously. He chuckled softly.

“Don’t be too inhuman with that. I’d hate for her to come to me in a fury and demand I change your weapon” I waved as I left, smiling proudly. As I walked towards the door, Rebecca and Maddie joined me, arriving just as they were starting to look for us. I brushed past them and emerged into the courtyard training area where Captain Valerie was waiting.

“Ready?” She asked. At my nod, she raised her shield and started circling me. She tried to jab at me with a solid sword, but I hooked my hammer to the edge of her shield. Pulling it back, I tapped her chest lightly before she could get in a counterstrike.

“I believe that is a win for me,” I said with a bow. She scowled at me but yielded.

“Meet me at noon tomorrow for your first assignment”. I followed my teammates out of the courtyard. We retired to the large house on the edge of the residential section that we all shared. They both had rooms on the first floor; the ground floor was the kitchen, living room and dining room; my room was the attic. The second floor was empty at the moment. We all enjoyed dinner together before retiring. Early the next morning, I slipped out to get to the weaponsmith’s just as they opened.

“Well, what can I do for you, little badass?” The Smith chuckled, using his height advantage to tease me.

“I was wondering if there was any way to protect the handle. I realized that it was vulnerable, but metal would make it hard to grip and my hold on it changes throughout a fight” I said as I unsheathed it.

“Plus this is a two-handed weapon which makes a shield useless.” He finished. I nodded, as he inspected it thoughtfully. I examined my hand as he processed my request. “The best advice is to try and move faster so they don’t get to destroy it, and carry some smaller weapons just in case” He handed me a few daggers and knives, which I paid for.

“Thank you. This helps Mr. Smith” I called as I left with a smile. He waved back

“Name’s Rhett! Better call me that or I’ll give you-” I wandered out of earshot and through town for a few hours, before returning home and changing into my travel clothes. My dark brown boots with shorts and a crop top. I swung a cloak over it all to complete the look and hide my hammer and satchel. I met Rebecca at the bottom of the stairs. Her brown hair was tied in a ponytail, fingers tapping as we waited. Maddie was applying makeup since she insisted that despite leaving the town, she must still look fashionable. I played with the strap of my satchel as the time crept closer to noon. Finally, she came downstairs in a skirt and tank top, her bag draped over one shoulder. She sashayed out the door and we were forced to follow. I fell behind slightly, aiming to not be associated with that type of chichi behavior. Rhett was headed back to his shop as we passed.

“Hello, Mr. Smith!” I called cheerfully

“Why, Little badass! I thought I told you to call me by my first name!” He chuckled as I passed.

“I know! My name’s Katie by the way. Kat, Delphine, and crazy girl all work though!” I joked. I could hear his rumbling chuckle as we continued walking. We bumped into Captain Valerie just a few moments after the noon bell chimed.

“You’re almost late. Anyway, here’s your assignment. I almost gave it to another team but I suppose since you're here I’ll still give it to you.” I glared at Maddie before glancing it over.

“This is too hard. Let us warm up to our new status by giving us something easier”

“Hm...here, this is easier,” She said with a sneer.

“Perfect,” I said, headed out of town. I passed the paper to Becca as Maddie blew a kiss at a passing guy.

“You realize she gave us a harder assignment?” Rebecca asked as she looked it over.

“Of course. I was gloating her into that. We can handle it though, so don’t worry.” I shrugged triumphantly. There was a picture of a goat bodied, snake-headed and scorpion tailed creature. The subtitle read:

Herd the triple-venimeux.

“Well. Goodbye Bailymena. Hello triple-venimeux!” I drawled. Becca rolled her eyes in my direction. Our archer was fiddling with her hair. “Maddie, we’re going to leave you behind at this rate. So stop worrying about your appearance and let’s find these beasts.” I prodded her arm. She huffed in my direction before speeding up to walk beside Becca. Snatches of their conversation drifted back towards me

“Always controlling everything isn’t she?” that was Maddie

“I’ve known her...A teensy bit but...heart’s in a good place” Becca’s response was harder for me to hear since I stopped. I knew I was bad but...that bad? I started walking again to catch up. I didn’t want them to realize I’d been listening and had been affected like that. Once I caught up I smiled before pushing them down. A stream of discolored liquid landed on a tree hissing. It missed our heads by mere seconds.

“WE FOUND THEM! KATIE, LEAD THEM” Becca pushed me towards the origin. I stumbled to my feet as Maddie drew her bow. I could see that the lead one was large and brown. Behind it, upwards of a few dozens others crouched. The brown lead bared its fangs at me. I ran. Beelining for an enclosure in the distance. I ducked as I heard a hiss from behind me. Narrowly missing losing my head to another venom stream.

“My head could use a little help!” I called over my shoulder. Maddie was busy driving a smaller poison green necked one away from Becca. I threw one of my knives at its tail, causing it to whirl around and zero in on me with a vengeance. A sapphire blue diamond-patterned one lashed out with its tail while my back was turned. I rolled out of the way just as the point of its tail hit where my heart had been. I slashed at the tail, hurtling onto its back. I tried to direct it towards the cage. The one who’d attacked first raced towards it. He apparently sensed something I didn’t. I leaped off just as the one I was riding ran through and the gate closed. I lay panting laboriously as I calmed down.

“You ok?” A voice said somewhere above me. I looked into a grease-streaked feminine face. Their brown hair was wild, despite being trapped in a ponytail.

“Uh...Yea. I think? I had a few close calls there.” I said standing up, brushing off my pants.

“I tossed food in there. They would’ve come running once they smelled it. I’m Ross, designer of this monstrosity of an enclosure. I live in Bailymena as a mechanic usually though.” They wiped off their hands on dirty cloth.

“Katie. I’m a new adventurer with Rebecca and Maddie over there.” I nodded at the two running figures. “We come from the same place on our first journey. You may have seen us around.”

“I have. Ross seems to always have their hands fiddling with some sort of machine. I’m Ki, the blacksmith who rooms with this crazy girl.” A curly brown head popped up from behind an anvil. The shorter girl it belonged to offered me a hand to get me on my feet.

“Nice to meet you Ki, Ross. Thank you for saving my hide.” I said as I took it. Ki’s brown eyes twinkled as she looked into my face. Ross grumbled as they fiddled with a screwdriver, muttering something about how it wasn’t anything huge and I interrupted their flow. They then shook their head, as if leaving behind the thought.

“Glad you weren’t harmed,” They said energetically as if returning from a trance. Maddie flopped on the ground once she reached us. Becca glanced over the two.

“Come on. We have a long way to go before nightfall. Thank you both for uh...helping?” Becca poked Maddie with one toe with a scowl.

“Oh. Uh..See ya, I guess. Good Luck!” Ki said, deflating slightly. I hugged her before grabbing Maddie’s leg. She offered me a sad smile as Becca stalked off with a huff. I mouthed an apology as I dragged our prone teammate after her. Ross waved, tucking a stray clump of hair behind an ear. They seemed to recede back into her quiet concentration as we left them in the dust. I dropped Maddie and stalked up to my hazel-eyed companion.

“Why? Why did you run off like that? Nightfall is soon and we could have stayed with them!” I hissed under my breath.

“And return to town with only one task completed?! We’d be ridiculed. But you don’t care because you’re the one who can do no wrong!” Becca’s voice shot up several octaves as she shouted back at me. I threw up my hands in exasperation. I glanced at the sky to see the horizon held only the slightest hint of orange. The rest was the deep blue of night. Maddie was stacking some kindling as we fought. I bent next to her and struck one of my knives against a branch to produce a spark. Becca sat down heavily on the opposite end of the fire. I tore into a granola bar before being startled by a noise. My teammates were unbothered or didn’t notice it. I glanced around reaching for one of my weapons. I caught a pair of green eyes watching us through the fog that was forming, before disappearing back into the woods. I moved closer to the fire uneasily. Becca and Maddie went to sleep within the next hour unawares. I stayed up for a while watching the dying embers before I finally drifted off. I woke up to a gag around my mouth and my arms tied soundly behind my back. I had also been disarmed much to my embarrassment. I tried to pull my bindings over anything sharp on the ground like a rock, but there was nothing.

“Whatcha gonna do with her now? That Captain’s, Valerie? Was it? tip paid off. But why’d you grab only her Boss?” A hiccuping voice interrupted my search. Another, smoother and silkier man’s voice answered.

“The others are untouchable. Adventurers she said. This one will be sold as a slave, if she’s lucky” A sinister laugh sent a shiver down my whole body. A steel-tipped boot kicked my side, causing me to curl up and cough up some blood. The owner grabbed my arms and forced me to my feet brutally. I stared into steely amber eyes on a deep skinned man in an immaculate suit. His black hair was carefully arranged.

“We have a long way to go. Truman, keep an eye on her.” He said turning on one heel.

“Ricardo. Boss.” The man, Truman, stammered out

“I told you, Ricardo is not to be used by any other than my family or business partners! And I will NOT HAVE MY HIRED HELP QUESTIONING ME!” I stood there limp as Ricardo grabbed me and threw me towards a wagon in the distance. I felt a branch tear into my right leg. I made a vague distressed noise through my gag as I watched blood gush from the wound. “GET BACK! I WILL DEAL WITH THIS ONE MYSELF” was hurled after Truman’s fleeing figure as he ran past me. He sprinted up to the wagon in the distance. I was fumbling to put something over my wound with my limited range of movement. Ricardo ripped me to my feet. “Of course you go and get yourself hurt. Maybe I can hide it with a longer skirt..” He mused to himself. I tried to twist away from him, and he let me. I fell the moment I tried putting weight on my leg. He continued on about how that would be a problem as well as he pulled me up once more. I tried to shout through the awful thing still muting me. He drew a jeweled knife from his sleeve. I shrank back as he moved it closer to me. He scoffed and cut the gag in one neat stroke.

“No screaming girl.” He said haughtily

“Katie. My name is Katie. And I’m afraid I can’t walk since you threw me onto a sharp branch” I made known with the slightest hint of sass. He chuckled as he hoisted me into the air, still keeping my wound away from his suit.

“Don’t get used to this. I only am doing this to make sure there’s no more damage that will result in money loss” He said, silencing any hint of humor. I glared at him, which he didn’t notice. The fog had thickened to the point I feared I was leaving a trail of blood without noticing. A scream ripped through the air near us, with a response of a hoarse roaring. Ricardo stopped as Truman came bolting out of the woods directly in front of us. A scrawny golden large cat was close on his heels. It sniffed the air and stared at me hungrily. The only thing that stopped it from approaching was my growl and a horrible imitation of its roar by Ricardo. It sprinted after the poor henchman. The unfeeling man holding me dropped me right in its trail as screams echoed through the fog. He rolled me over a few times until all I could smell was the choking scent. I was still gagging as I was once again hoisted into the air. I bit back a scream as pain from my leg made my vision blur. I moaned as my vision faded in and out with every small jolt. I finally gave up and let myself pass out.

When I woke up, I was bouncing in the wagon, tied next to women of various ages, but I appeared to be the youngest. A few still had gags, but most were only tied at the hands and feet. My feet were free and my leg was bandaged up. The woman directly next to me was a short, medium-toned middle-aged one. My other side was facing the opening to the wagon, which was currently sealed. The woman beside me moaned slightly as she shifted, revealing bruises between her two-piece outfit, on the side she’d been just laying on.

“Are you ok?” I murmured to her. She looked at me with warm light green eyes. After a quick acknowledgment, she looked away again. I looked away too just as the wagon’s flap was opened. A man stood there. I could hear someone complaining that they had to change a girl’s dressings since it had already been a day. The man who had just let light in grabbed me as I realized I’d been out for at least a day. Most likely closer to a day and a half or more.

“Here you go Jayce.” The man carrying me grunted as he handed me off to a weedy, extremely pale older man. With uncaring precision, he changed the bandages on my leg. Ricardo walked over as I mumbled

“Food? I’m really hungry” Jayce glared at me. Ricardo however, stood me up and untied my hands, leading me back to the wagon, where a short distance away a fire burned beneath a pot. He handed me a bowl with soup and a spoon. I hobbled a short distance on my own to sit down. I smiled that I could support my weight at least enough. I pretended to eat until barely anyone was watching then flung my bowl into the fire where it caused a huge ruckus. I pushed myself to my feet and moved as quickly as I could to the wagon. Grabbing a discarded knife, I jumped into the wagon and began cutting women free. I started wailing as well, hoping someone was nearby and would recognize it. Other women took up the cry as I pushed them towards the woods, finishing freeing them all. I hobbled after them as two women appeared, just as the first of the group reached the woods. They stepped aside as the freed prisoners rushed away. The taller of the two watched with unblinking eyes as the last of them besides me disappeared. The shorter brushed her brown hair out of her face as she turned to return to whatever they were doing. The black-haired girl snickered as men called for her to help catch the fleeing women. She led the way back into the forest as my leg finally gave up under my weight and the stress I’d been putting on it.

#my writing #dragon guarded weapon

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txladyj-blog · 4 years

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Chapter 8 - This Time Around

a Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 23/?

Human nature. With all its complexities and flaws, was now the one thing that presided over a land filled with the dead. True human nature, in its most naked, exposed and unapologetic form was now both the best and worst of the world. Jess had seen the best and worst of it from her spot in the city and had managed to live, unnoticed by any survivors passing through. She’d witnessed grown men put themselves in harms way, sacrificing themselves to save children too slow and small to keep up the running pace of the adults in their group as she’d watched from her perch on the corner of the roof. In contrast, she’d stared in horror as another group simply tossed a woman out of a truck like last night’s burger wrapper, onto the street in order to slow down a small herd. She’d been bitten before Jess could grab her bow and race down the stairs. In an act of mercy that allowed her to prove to herself that she was still on the good side of human nature, she’d shot the woman in the head from the roof with a well-placed arrow and spent all night replaying the look of pure terror etched onto the stranger’s face.

Yes, human nature was complicated and destructive, inspiring and devastating. A double-edged sword. Jess was better off on her own, that much was true, but she did miss the conversation, the debate, the ideas swapping over hot chocolates and the late-night hilarity that came from a few glasses of beer and games of pool in a bar. Those days were gone and now all she had in the way of company was a reanimated dead body at the bottom of the elevator shaft and a huge stuffed bear wearing an army jacket that now took up it’s place opposite her on the roof, a stale birthday cake waited to be devoured between them on an upturned, wooden box.

“Well, Sgt Pepper. Looks like it’s just you and I celebrating another trip around the sun.” she commented as she held her glass aloft.

Merle had finished off all the whiskey and she knew better than to go scrounging for more. It wasn’t a necessity and she wasn’t about to get herself killed for a bout of nausea and a fuzzy head the next day.

The bear was tatty, threads pulled from his ears and his jacket splattered with dried blood. Jess found him in the next apartment block where he’d been positioned proudly on the pillow of a perfectly made bed in a room decorated for that of a young adult. On the floor were three bodies, two adults and a girl around 13 years old. Jess carefully nudged each one with her foot as she passed. The bullet holes in their heads told her that they hadn’t turned and like many of the people that chose to remain in the city, they thought suicide to be a better prospect than the exhausting slog to survive day by day. It hurt Jess’s heart to think that some souls felt there was no other way, but it wasn’t an option she could say she hadn’t considered at least once while she resided in her fortress of loneliness.

It was a no brainer to her. She had to leave with that bear. He reminded her so much of her own childhood companion, jacket and all. Her father had gifted it to her and during every tour and every training exercise, she found comfort in the military bear that she had dubbed ‘Sgt Pepper’. Aware that if any other survivors were passing through and saw her, she would look positively ridiculous, scurrying across the rooftops with a huge stuffed animal under her arm. But just as before the turn, she wasn’t going to change who she was to suit anyone else. Especially not in the apocalypse.

“You say it's your birthday” She sang at the bears pinned and permanent smile. She sipped the soda in the glass and slapped her other hand on her thigh to create a beat. “It's my birthday too, yeah”. She paused, looking up at Sgt Pepper as if his plastic eyes would change their expression and for a fleeting second, she was disappointed when they remained exactly the same. She raised the glass to him for a second time. “They say it's your birthday, we’re gonna have a good time” She thudded the glass on the box and began to pluck at imaginary guitar strings, closing her eyes and leaning to one side. “I'm glad it's your birthday, Happy birthday to you!” The Beatles were her favourite band ever since she was a child and that was not something that was going to change just because they and their audience weren't around anymore. Jess was still there and as long as she was, so was her love of their music. She'd found headphones while scavenging, even and old portable CD player, but her rule of keeping a clear head and always being aware of her surroundings meant that the headphones went untouched and she was reduced to singing to herself to stave off the boredom and silence. It wasn't a problem to her, she knew all of the lyrics anyway and there was no one but Ben and Sgt Pepper to complain about it.

Her eyes lowered to the dried birthday cake. Three, colored, marzipan Balloons floated across the top and the rim was adorned with cracked and discolored frosting. The chances of a strong bout of stomach cramps after consuming it were high, but it was her birthday and she was going to have a damn cake if she wanted to. A single candle flame flickered in the center of the off-white frosting and as she blew it out, she wished that she would survive long enough to see mother nature take back the earth. To reclaim what was hers and what was destroyed by the arrogance of human nature. She wanted to see vines and branches seep into the cracks of buildings, pulling them apart and turning them into a ghostly mirage of what once was. But through it all, she wanted to be around, content and safe and able to live into her old age while still being the survivor she had realized she really was.

She also wished for something else; that one day, Daryl would know how much he inspired her. If nothing else, she wanted that for him. Without his guidance, his training and his words, she was certain she would be dead. He may have broken her heart, but at one point, somewhere in between all the angst and anger, he believed in her. She regretted not writing it in the note she left pinned to the tree but time was of the essence and she had to think quickly. Now, when she thought back to the good times spent tracking and hunting in the woods, putting Walkers down and making fun of one another, it made her smile. A smile that was not through genuine happiness. Far from it. It was a smile of sadness for times that she desperately missed. But they were times of blissful ignorance of how he really felt, times based on a lie. She pressed her eyes shut and quickly shook the thoughts from her head. She watched the thin, sliver of smoke drift up from the wick. Picking up a plastic fork, she stabbed the cake and shoveled a large piece of the sponge into her mouth. Wincing at the dryness, she chewed and swallowed hard. It was like eating sand.

“Happy fuckin’ birthday to me.” She sighed.

She had resorted to guessing the time of day by using a sundial or her hands against the horizon from the roof. Her knowledge of such historical practices had proved to be invaluable and she now appreciated her interests much more than she ever did before the turn. The night was creeping in, dulling the view from the roof and creating a cold sting in the air. There was just enough time for some target practice.

The streets below the apartment were far from clear. Walkers milled in and our of side streets and alleys, some amassed in the middle of the road and if it wasn’t for Jess’s diversion tactics from time to time, she was sure the street she lived on would be clogged with festering corpses by now. Fireworks were usually the best, she’d found. They seemed to like fireworks. The dreamer in her liked to think that maybe the noise and the colors stirred something deep inside their mainly inoperative brains, some kind of distant memory of 4th July firework shows or new year celebrations. But the realist side of her knew differently. Now, they were even lower than most animals, driven to move by sounds but completely devoid of thought or any type of feeling. Just shells.

She picked up her bow and slid on her bracers as she approached the small wall that lined the edge of the roof. The faint murmur of the odd, swaying Walker was the only sound that rose from the scene below. Taking a peek over the edge, she nodded in approval at the numbers.

“That’ll do.” She said to herself before picking up a small, children’s chalkboard that rested against the inside of the wall. Her eyes flickered over the names on the list, selecting the first one and shuffling forwards to get into position.

“OK, Madonna. Are you out tonight?”

With one foot placed in front of the other, her body turned and her stance strong, she raised the bow and nocked an arrow. She smiled when she noticed her. A blonde woman with wavy, hair wearing what appeared to be a thin, satin nightgown. She wasn’t as designer clad as the real thing, but she would suffice as a target. She drew the bow string back and exhaled slowly as she took aim. The Arrow embedded in the side of the Walkers head as if it was nothing but a bag of sand and she hit the floor, causing the others around her to start shuffling towards her.

“Oof!” She exclaimed with a fist pumped in the air. “That one was a ten pointer. Sorry, Madonna.” She marked her score on the chalkboard next to the name and checked her next target.

Sarah.

It was now a habit, each time she re-filled the board with names, Sarah and Jodie’s would always be mixed in somewhere. Jess was never one to remain bitter or hold grudges, too many so-called friends had come and gone over the years to make sure she’d got used to it. But she was also never one to not make an exception for some things. When she was feeling low and having a bad day, the list of names on the board changed and she wondered at one point if she should indulge in an ‘abhorrent people target practice day’ once a week, where Sarah and Jodie’s names could mingle with the likes of Hitler, Robert Mugabe and Vlad the Impaler. But it was yet to happen because she wasn’t bitter. Not at all. Or, so she told herself as she chose a doppelganger of Sarah and took aim.

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Ben was hanging on the bars of the elevator gate when she descended the stairs, his arms were loosely draped through the gaps and his face was pushed against the cold metal. She lifted a hand in acknowledgement before sitting down on the bottom step in front of him and seeing him try to reach out to her. She held her hand out, gently tickling his grasping, blackened fingertips in what could have been seen as a gesture of affection.

“Hey dude. So, my birthday cake tasted like feet but it was one hell of a pity party you missed.”

The sound of her voice was like fuel for Ben. He instantly began to clamber up from his spot, hanging through the gate and started to snarl at her, his mouth hanging open and his teeth bared.

“Not that I know what feet taste like.” She added, her eyes locking on his now cloudy, pale and blinded orbs. “I guess you might though. Depending on how long you’ve been locked in there.”

Stepping back, Ben’s arms dropped from the grate and he stumbled backwards, his body hitting the back of the elevator and causing it to shake. A slight jingle caught her attention and she froze, straining her ears. As he moved back towards her, his pocket gave off a tinkling sound and Jess quickly put the pieces of the puzzle together. Many a week had passed when she’d been sitting on that same step engrossed in a one-way conversation with the dead man trapped inside his cell. Sometimes she even contemplated if he really would try to hurt her if she managed to somehow release him from the confined space he occupied. But then she reminded herself of her own naivety and how that kind of thinking could get her killed. Ben was a Walker. A mindless, stinking, lump of useless flesh but still a predator in his own right.

“You have the goddamn keys to the elevator in your pocket, don’t you?” She asked him.

He stilled and her eyebrows raised. She knew better than to think he could understand her, but it was strange nonetheless. The keys would change everything. She could get him out of there and actually make use of him. She sprang up from her spot.

“I have an idea. Wait here.” She told him. After striding up two steps she rolled her eyes and sighed at her own stupidity.

Like he’s going to go anywhere.

When she returned, she placed her supplies in front of her; a cylindrical block of wood with a dish cloth tightly wound around it, attached at either end to a string of thick, rubber bands, a hockey mask and a length of rope tied into a slipknot. Another one of her skills acquired from the thousands of books she had now amassed in her apartment. She paced back and forth for a few moments, observing how Ben followed her every move from behind the barrier like a magnet. Although she was almost certain he was blind, he was completely obsessed with her and she huffed with amusement when she figured that he was only guy that had ever been obsessed with her…and he was dead.

She picked up the block of wood and tilted her head to the side, it would fit through the gaps perfectly but her task was not going to be easy. Her left arm was covered with three, thick layers of tape, strapped over a Kevlar sleeve and glove in case Ben fancied a snack halfway through his rescue mission. She was now glad of her forethought. She threaded her arm through the grid, silently and without rattling the metal. Ben, who could detect no sound whatsoever, merely peered around through his useless eyes as she used her armor covered hand to quickly grasp the back of his head. He jolted and began to gnash at her, the sounds bubbling up from his throat as his lips parted provoking a rush of bile from her own stomach. She couldn’t have prepared for the smell or the sound of liquidated, rotting human organs no matter how much she knew about Walkers. She snapped his head back as he grabbed a hold of her police issue vest and dragged her forwards, slamming her body against the gate. With her other hand, she managed to wedge the piece of wood so far between his jaws that they became locked in position. She quickly stretched the string of bands over his head, creating a most macabre and brutal gag but an effective one regardless.

He thrashed and growled, throwing himself at the gate over and over until Jess was able to shove a hand into his pocket and pulled out the biggest bunch of keys she had ever seen. Her heart dropped as she stepped back and sat down, the racket of Ben desperately trying to get to her now drowned out by just how many keys she had to contend with.

“Guys got the keys to every lock in the city on here.” She mumbled.

She began sorting through them, checking the branding on the lock and looking for a match. She must have gone through at least twenty keys before she stopped and pinched one particular one between her fingers. She looked up at the lock again.

“Nova” She whispered.

The key boasted the exact same branding. She stood up, moved closer to the lock and slid the key into the chamber. Holding onto the gate as tightly as she could, she gently and quietly turned the key, a subtle click made her smile. She’d found it. The whole time he’d been locked inside, Ben possessed the key to his freedom all along. At first, she didn’t know if someone else had thrown him in there but now it was evident; he’d been bitten and locked himself in.

“That was noble of you. But this is my apartment complex now and you’re going to earn your keep.” She quipped, swiping up the hockey mask and rope from the floor. She shoved the mask under her arm and released the lock, slowly sliding the gate back. The rattling noise sent Ben into a frenzy and he collided with the gap she’d created in the gate with such force that she doubted her ability to follow through with her plan for a moment. She took a deep breath, reached into the gap and snapped the mask over his gagged face. Next, she threw the rope around his neck and pulled it tight before throwing the gate open.

He threw himself at her, knocking the mask against the side of her face while she tried to tighten her grip on the rope enough to keep his head away from hers.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m pleased to see you too buddy.” She remarked.

Ben couldn’t have been more than 30 years old when he was alive and Jess gathered that even thought he was now deceased and extremely dangerous, he was once a good-looking guy. She felt a pang of sympathy for such a wasted life. But what else was left to hang around for? The experience of wresting the undead from elevators and up the stairs to a roof wasn’t one she’d wish on anyone else. By the time she’d maneuvered him to the top of the steps and shoved open the heavy, metal door to the roof, he’d quieted considerably. Jess knew Walkers didn’t get tired; they no longer possessed the brain capacity to register fatigue. Nor were they able to come to the conclusion that something wasn’t worth the trouble. She didn’t know why he became more compliant, but she certainly wasn’t about to complain.

Tying him to a pipe inside a ramshackle, wooden shed. She stood back and looked him over, pleased with her efforts and feeling triumphant at the result. She now had a moving target, a sparring partner and little did Ben know; he was about to become her Sensei.

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She’d lost track of time. It had been months, she knew that to be a fact, but just how many had escaped her. Her need to journal would have helped keep tabs on just how long she’d been housed in the apartment block in the city, but she had Sgt Pepper and Ben and she chattered away to them without a care in the world, dispelling her darkest fears and her inner most private thoughts. There wasn’t a need to write everything down anymore, not in a world where no one and everyone was listening all at once. If she tried to guess, she looked at her crops which filled the balcony and most of the rooftop, they were huge, prospering in the summertime and struggling during the winter. But they still existed she thought it had maybe been close to a year that she’d lived alone.

People below had come and gone. Rarely was it that anyone would try her apartment. If they did, they found it to be locked up tighter than a secret military camp and soon moved on when they realized the noise and time it would take to enter such a building while surrounded by Walkers just wasn’t worth it. In so many months she had uttered hardly a word to anyone but Merle, who’s absence was felt much greater than she ever would have expected or would care to admit.

Training with Ben was one of life’s perks, she enjoyed experiencing the change in not only her body, but her mind as she jabbed and kicked her way into a full, self-defense skill set using a dead guy as her fake attacker. She goaded him, riled him up until he would lunge at her and swipe with his arms and kick out with his legs. His hands constantly grabbed for her, the need to taste human flesh far too great for him to ignore. But Ben could only go as far as his leash allowed and his hockey mask was eventually replaced each evening before he was led back to his shack.

Gunfire interrupted one sparring session during a hot, summers evening and Jess’s head snapped around while the rest of her body completely froze. Ben also stilled and started to jolt and snarl at the source of the bangs. It was close, much too close for comfort. She wiped the sweat from her brow and eyes and crept to the edge of the roof, her heart almost stopped at the view below.

Is that a…a TANK?!

Driving towards her corner apartment block with a speed that couldn’t be easily stopped, was an M1 Abrams Tank. Jess had seen them many times before, a sight that Army brats tended to get used to. It was flanked by a dozen, heavily armed men with their weapons pointed at the door to her block. Her chest constricted when she heard them start to jeer and her eyes clocked another vehicle turn a corner at the top of the street. A large, black truck that was equipped with an animal cage on the flatbed. Inside the cage, was a screaming woman. She scanned each face as quickly as she could. Blackened teeth. Then, she observed their hands and movements. Tremors. Poor coordination. She’d read about the depths some humans would reach on the moral scale in a post-apocalyptic situation. Fear raged through her body and she stumbled back when the tank collided with the door on the ground floor.

I have to get out of here.

The building shook and she whirled around, her mind racing and her heart hammering. Adrenaline began to surge through her veins, urging her to remove herself from the threat. She grabbed Ben’s rope and sprinted to the roof door. Dragging him down the steps, sweat trickled into her eyes and she cursed the timing of the attack above all things.

Could have waited until training was over. Jesus.

Crashing through the door to her apartment, she fastened Ben’s rope to the radiator and he thrashed and clawed at her as she dashed around the living space, filling her bag with handguns and supplies. She quickly slipped on anything Kevlar or armored she could find and collected what seemed like millions of arrows from almost every room. Now, there was shouting ringing out from the floors below.

“Place is cleared. Someone lives here, keep searching!” ordered a man’s voice that she could just about make out as a muffled sound through the floorboards. They were on the floor below. She had to be fast. Now wasn’t the time for sentiment, now, she had to be practical, smart and stealthy. She threw the backpack she’d lifted from yet another dead policeman onto her back, the barrels of the guns inside poked at her back but she paid it no mind as she collected her primary weapon, her bow from the hook on the back of the front door. A machete nudged against her leg as she walked, pinned there by the loop on its handle around the belt loop on her pants. She quickly freed it, clutching it in her hand as she adjusted her backpack. She stopped and looked at Ben.

He was glaring at her with his white eyes in the middle of the room, his rope was pulled taut and his neck tendons protruded. His hands were locked out in front of him with his fingers fanned out. She could hear the men clearly now, they were on the other side of the door and with every harsh bang of the wood in the frame, her heart jumped. She closed the gap between her and the corpse. Taking hold of one of his hands but not allowing him to pull her any closer. She gradually shifted his position in the room and gently squeezed his fingers.

“Don’t let me down” She whispered.

She raised the machete, sliced through his rope and ripped the wooden gag from his mouth. Then, she turned on her heels, taking hold of the window frame and diving through the gap. Outside, she slammed the window shut and watched as Ben’s hands slapped against the glass.

“Slow ‘em down, buddy. Thanks for the lessons.” She smiled.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Daryl chewed his bottom lip as he adjusted his position on the rickety, prison mattress. His back was pressed against the wall and no matter how hard he tried, she couldn’t shake the thought that of all the places the group could have ended up, a prison had to be one of them. He hated being forced to sleep in a cage and live behind heavy, clanking doors. Even the sound of Rick’s keys irritated him. Rick, the leader. Rick the prison guard.

He wasn’t a regular at the Georgia Department of Corrections like his brother. But he’d been on the wrong side of the law just enough to know what staring at the same four walls, sitting at the same metal table and taking a dump in the same room that you sleep in was like. Charges for drug possession and fighting were hardly the kind of things he wanted to share with the rest of the group and so, he kept himself to himself, merely stating that he’d rather sleep outside of the cells. That was when he slept at all.

In his hands, he held a newly carved bolt for his crossbow. His ability to make them had improved some over the months and it was now second nature to him to create as many as possible while sat around, babysitting his brother who was locked in the cell opposite him.

Merle hadn’t managed to track Daryl down since leaving the city. Instead, he’d come across another group of survivors led by a callous psychopath and had slotted perfectly into his role as the main foot soldier. Everything had been fine and dandy for Merle at first, he was given a metal prosthetic arm with a removable bayonet attachment which meant he was never short of a weapon against the undead. He had a roof over his head, food in his belly and medicine at his disposal. Above all else, he had a purpose, a job that he did well and with gusto. That was, until Daryl appeared in front of him. The Atlanta groups run in with the Governor and his community has resulted in a lot of pain, injuries, fear and grudges, some of it at the hands of Merle, who was at the center of it all, but he was Daryl’s blood and he had made it clear that now they were together again, he would not be parted from Merle again. Initially, the two of them left the group and headed into the woods, but things were not as they used to be. Daryl had changed and with it, Merle felt outcast, even from the lifelong bond the two of them had shared since Daryl had entered the world as a sensitive and observant child. Merle quickly realized that Daryl had a code that he stuck by no matter what. A code that meant others were put before himself which infuriated and baffled Merle. A fight in the woods revealed a childhood trauma that they both shared, much to Merle’s surprise. He was aware that Daryl was a witness to violence in their household, but the extent of which was only evident upon a scuffle in which Daryl’s shirt was ripped, revealing deep, scarred lacerations to his skin. Then, everything changed.

Daryl made it clear that he was going back to the prison. Back to the group he belonged with and Merle had the choice to either walk away or try to make nice with the others. Being parted from his little brother for a second time was the less favorable option and so, Merle decided to tag along with Daryl. Upon their arrival at the fences, they found the place under attack from Walkers and although Merle helped to save lives, he was still bundled into a cell and scowled at by every other member of the group. No one had forgotten the things he had done and no one was about to forgive and forget.

“The hell were ya doin, running with that psycho?” Daryl asked.

Merle was leaning on the bars, his good hand smoothing a thumb around the edging of his prosthetic stump. His hooded, weathered eyes fixed on his brother. He found it difficult to believe that someone could change as much as Daryl had. He saw him, carrying out orders for Rick, going out on runs alone, doing as he was told. It was unlike the Daryl he’d grown up with, yet he’d always known that his baby brother was more emotionally driven than he had ever been.

“Everybody’s a psycho now, little brother. Everybody’s got a gun, a kill number and a big ol’ chip on their shoulder. Hell, I’d be more worried if some sommbitch walked up to me with his mitts in his pockets.” He reasoned with a small shrug.

Daryl shook his head in disbelief at his brother’s casual attitude to his actions. Merle was never one to take responsibility for anything, least of all his misgivings. Apparently, the end of the world hadn’t changed that in him.

“They ain’t never gonna trust ya, ya know that, right?” Daryl confirmed.

“Yeah, I know.” Merle agreed with a hint of exasperation in his voice. Daryl went back to carving his bolts, slicing through thin pieces of wood with his sharp hunting knife. “I don’t know why I do the things I do. I’m a damn mystery to me.” Merle added.

Daryl scoffed and glanced up from his task.

“You’re a dumb ass, man.” He mumbled.

They both huffed in amusement and Merle couldn’t help but revisit the last few months and how he’d come to be locked up in a cell, even after everyone died and started eating one another. Was this really where he was meant to be? Maybe he was bad through and through, just like their daddy used to say. Maybe he didn’t deserve any more chances after the one he’d been given in the city. Then, he remembered her. Jess.

“Remember the little, fat chick from the quarry?” He asked.

Daryl's body tensed and his eyes slowly worked back up from his bolt. He remembered her. Of course, he did. He thought about her every single day, especially when he closed his eyes at night. He wished he could wake up one day and she’d just be there, having never ran away. He remembered her because she was the only person he’d managed to connect with in his entire, sorry life.

“What ‘bout her?” he rasped.

“I seen her” Merle stated, his expression becoming smug as he straightened up and tilted his head back, looking down his nose at Daryl.

“She’s alive?!” Daryl exclaimed as he sat up to gain a better view of his brother’s expression. It was not lost on him that this could all be a lie to get him out of the cell.

“Was a few months back, mind. But yeah, all in one piece.” Merle told him.

Daryl stood up, dropping his knife and bolt and slowly approaching the cell door.

“Where is she?” he wanted to know.

Merle grunted and rubbed his face as he watched Daryl’s entire demeanor change. He was becoming irritated at the lack of information and it was apparent to Merle that Jess meant something to him, after all.

“Asked me to keep my mouth shut about that part.”

With his teeth locked together and his breathing increasing, Daryl began to stalk back and forth in front of the cell door, his boots scuffing on the smooth surface of the floor. He no longer thought it was a lie. He knew well enough that Jess would have made herself known if she wanted to, especially by then. After all, he found a note to prove it.

“She don’t wanna be found, kid. Let it go.” Merle added.

He stopped his pacing and let out a loud sigh. This kind of discussion was rare for the Dixons, it involved a degree of emotion and honestly which was something Merle didn’t seem to possess and Daryl managed to hide extremely well. Until the mention of her name.

“She doin OK?” He questioned “Least tell me that much. Please”

“She’s good. She’s real smart.” Merle nodded.

Picking up a pile of previously carved arrows from a table, Daryl began to sift through them with his fingertips. It looked to Merle like he was counting them, but he knew Daryl better than he knew himself. He was using them as a distraction. Merle didn’t even flinch when Daryl angrily threw the handful of wood onto the floor, the sound was like a million pencils falling from a table and rolling across the ground.

“Just tell me where she is!” Daryl raged.

Merle couldn’t help it when the corners of his mouth lifted into a small smile.

“Ooof! You got it bad, huh, boy?”

“Shut up.” Daryl hissed, turning his back and trying to calm himself. His shoulders heaved as he breathed. “I’m your fuckin’ brother” He muttered, hearing a rasped growl from behind him. A glance over his shoulder told him that Merle did really want to tell him as he witnessed him lean his head on the bars and close his eyes.

“I owe her, OK? She did right by me. Mans only as good as his word.” Merle explained.

Daryl spun around, his face now enraged and reddening fast, his eyes were filled with the kind of anger that Merle had usually only seen when the two of them fought and it was never the same kind of rage that presented itself in a fight with anyone else. It was different. It was real.

“Word?! WORD?! You can’t be fuckin’ serious! Your word counts for shit, Merle! You tortured Glenn and Maggie so don’t start pretendin’ you’re some good guy, ya ain’t!” Daryl yelled.

“I ain’t no good guy but I got a code. Just like you.” Merle retorted.

Stooping down to collect his arrows, Daryl knew he had to remove himself from the building or he would end up strangling the truth out of his own brother. With all of the arrows gripped in his hand, he pointed them at Merle and narrowed his gaze.

“If they wanna starve ya, I’mma let ‘em. If they wanna torture ya, I’mma walk away. I ain’t doin’ nothin’ for ya until ya tell me where Jess is. They can keep ya in that damn cage for all I care.”

Before he could think of an answer, Merle was left alone in the room with nothing but the fading echo of the door slamming for company.

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Jess was running for so long that her feet were starting to burn and her knees were seizing up. She needed to stop somewhere and rest but being snared by the group of men with the black teeth and the woman in the cage was a thought that struck pure terror into her soul. She was sure she’d rather be eaten by Walkers than trapped with such a group. She’d stayed away from any roads, trekking through woodland and climbing over fences to remain undetected. Her clothing had helped keep her under the radar; a tight, black Kevlar top covered with her police vest and a black, hooded jacket. Dark camouflage cargo pants, black hand gun holsters and a mask that covered her mouth with a plastic outer shell that she had found on a dead biker as she fled the city.

Her bag was starting to feel heavier with every step as she approached a small town filled with abandoned cars. It looked as though people may have tried to settle there after the outbreak and the vehicles were left in a panic. She surged forwards, trying each car, looking for keys and gas. If she could just find one with enough to get her further away from the city, she could take some time to rest up. Darkness enveloped the town and birds and crickets sang a chorus as she wound her way through the cars, pleading with whatever deity would listen to just give her a break.

Then, her prayers were answered. A station wagon filled with boxes of clothes roared to life and to Jess’s delight, the tank was almost full. She set to work removing all the boxes, lightening the load so the gas wouldn’t be consumed as quickly and settled in the front seat. She pulled the door closed and drove off. Her destination was unknown but as far away from the city as she could get would be a start.

It was days before the truck ran out of gas and Jess had managed to put many, many miles in between her and the group that had almost captured her. On her journey, she’d swept through houses and collected anything she could carry on foot. She slept in buildings where they could be secured and had more than one exit, consumed any food she found in strict intervals, ensuring it lasted as long as possible and continued in the same direction she’d been travelling in for two weeks. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was looking for in a settlement, just that it had to be safe, away from other people and walkers and with the capacity to be self-sustainable. Then, she found the boat.

Situated in the middle of a lake, accessible only by a large, fortified gate at the end of a dirt track that was well hidden from any passersby, Jess thought it might have been an old quarry due to its similarities to the old camp. The top of the gate was covered with razor wire and she narrowly avoided being sliced to ribbons when she caught her backpack on the barbs. But a rigorous wiggle and some quick thinking had literally saved her skin. The boat was so far away from the shoreline that Jess accepted that she had to use a canoe that was moored by a jetty. The water appeared to be untouched and there wasn’t a walker in sight. But chances weren’t to be taken when the dead roam the earth and she had to be sure. A collection of rocks of all sizes ended up in the lake, she threw them out as far as she could, trying to cause a stir and encourage any swimming walkers to rise to the surface. But nothing came to pass. By the evening, she’d hunted a rabbit and cooked it over a small fire on the beach. Using the skin attached to a tree branch, she dangled it in the water as the sun was going down and pondered how relaxing the place seemed.

“Huh. Walker fishing.” She mumbled to herself.

When nothing happened and the rabbit skin floated off the branch and out into the body of water, she decided to risk rowing out to the boat. Much to her surprise, the water was crystal clear and she spotted fish swimming below. Her stomach growled, the stringy, fatty meat of a rabbit hardly sufficing when such plump, and apparently disease-free fish were swimming all around her.

I need a fishing rod.

Climbing aboard, it was clear that she was not stood on a regular boat. This was luxurious, spacious and well looked after. The deck was starting to show signs of disrepair but it was a far cry from the dilapidated state of some of the houses she’d stayed in. She crept inside, sweeping the rooms one by one and eventually finding the inhabitants of the vessel. A middle-aged couple on the double bed in the largest bedroom of three. Both wrapped in an embrace in the middle of a mass of bottles of pills. She moved into the room, draping a sheet over them and resting her hand on the man’s arm.

“I hope you’re at peace. The world sure isn’t”

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Merle stared at the dangerous, powerful and very angry black woman in the passenger seat of his car. She was not one to be messed with and that explained why he needed to knock her out before bundling her into the car and driving her to the Governor. It was all the man wanted. Michonne was responsible for his life changing injury after taking one of his eyes out with her samurai sword. Now, he wanted revenge and Merle was more than aware that if the Governor didn’t get what he wanted; he would obliterate the entire group. The group his brother was a part of.

“So, he takes you in, cleans you up and feeds you a load of bullshit. Why would you kill someone else for him?” She asked.

Merle didn’t answer, his eyes were on the road but his attention was elsewhere, with the safety of his brother back at the prison. He didn’t want to be there, handing Michonne over to the man that would ultimately torture and kill her was most definitely not something he wanted to do. But there were little options that he could see. Only he knew the true wrath of the Governor.

“We could go back. You and me. We could just go back.” She suggested.

“Ain’t gonna happen.” He commented.

“Why?”

Her eyes were bearing into his soul and wished he could put into words the things that were circulating in his mind. He had killed sixteen people since he’d been with the governor. Before that, he’d killed none. It dawned on him that Michonne was right, why would he kill any more people when he did have another way out? The alternative was less appealing and altogether more permanent. But it was an alternative nevertheless. He stopped the car and raised his prosthetic hand, the bayonet was fixed to the end. Michonne leaned back slightly in her seat, wondering if he might slit her throat there and then and cut out all the talking. Instead, Merle hooked the blade through her wire handcuffs and cut her free.

“You go back. I got somethin’ I gotta do on my own.” He told her, nodding towards the door. “But you’re gonna tell my brother somethin’ for me.”

NEXT CHAPTER

#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc #twd fanfiction #twd #daryl dixion imagine

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demethinkstoomuch · 4 years

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Deme Rates Villagers Part 2, Anteaters

While I build my hype for New Horizons, I thought I’d do something a little dumb. I thought I’d give my rating on all the villagers based primarily on their designs, though if I have a personal feeling, I’ll put it down as well. Please note that, with one (joking) exception, I love Animal Crossing’s villagers. They’re all good dogs, Bront, event the ones who are not dogs. So this is on a curve, and done in nit-picking good humor, so let’s just have fun! images are from the wiki, and so are going to be somewhat large or irregularly-sized. My scale is made up, and the points aren’t real.

That’s basically my standard disclaimer here.

Anabelle

I love everything about Anabelle. Her cute eyes! Her complementary color scheme! Her concept! Her place in my New Leaf town!

Design-wise, the sort of scaly texture and unfeathered tail she has is clearly intended to evoke the pangolin, or “scaly anteater,” a charmingly scaly little mammal who sometimes look like they want to apologize for something. I really, really like pangolins. I’ll add that the tropical theme to her default outift and decor suggests to me the Sunda or Phillipine Pangolin, both of which are native to Southeast Asia. I like any villager who’s going to make me go on a brief listing of biology facts.

She’s lived in Argent, my New Leaf town, for quite a while now, since I settled its final villagers. I imagine her as a young lady who left her hometown to make a name for herself, possibly fire dancing. Anyway, I’m fond of her on a personal level in addition to a design level, with the attachment built up over the years, and so, she has an unquestionable place in my heart, and a bright little bell out behind her house.

10, but with some cute stars around it that make it worth several thousand /10

Annalisa

Annalisa sure has an aesthetic, which she is designed for and devoted to without a single deviation or hesitance. And for that, I have to respect her. She looks like she should be a snooty, even though she isn’t -- it’s the heavily made-up look. On the whole, I find her design a little unsettling even though I don’t actually find Japanese dolls unsettling. I think if it were me, I’d maybe change the eyes just a little bit, aiming for something a bit less severe, and maybe a bit more empty.

The concept of rating has no ability to describe how I feel / 10, I guess.

Antonio

He’s a very natural looking Giant Anteater, a fact which I appreciate, even if the effect is that he looks like he has a neck beard. Add to that his surprised little eyebrows and cute blank eyes, and he’s an undoubtedly charming little fellow.

Very Charming / o.o

Aside from his fantastic big square eyebrows and freckly nose, both excellent traits, there’s not enough for me to really recommend him; his design is sort of random, I don’t really care for that orange.

Except that I love him very, very much. Because Cyrano was one of the first villagers in my New Leaf town of Argent, and quickly became a fast friend. My grouchy buddy. I themed the entire area in front of my Re-tail, where he lived, after him, filling it with all the zen public works projects he requested, which were some of my favorites. And then he moved away, and I was a little heartbroken. There’s a zen garden where his house used to be, in memorial. I’ve always rather wanted him back, but once it was possible with amiibo cards, I had a town full of other villagers I love. Maybe our paths will cross again someday.

100/10, perfect in every way, and that stands to make a very good point. Things become lovable, things become perfect, simply by the act of being loved. Given his name, it’s a fitting thought. (I also could have given him a rating

....Well, this is going to make moving on to the rest of the anteaters somewhat anticlimactic, isn’t it?

Lulu

So, another villager who was an islander in Animal Forest E+, and was never seen or heard from again. This is the only picture the wiki has, and so I am honestly a bit incapable of judging her, I can’t really form an opinion on this.

-/10. I see nothing to dislike, and nothing to recommend her. If I had more or better pictures, those cute little dot eyes could go somewhere.

Nosegay

It’s Nosegay! Juvenile jokes aside, this is a type of small bouquet of flowers, and also a pun on her big honking nose. Possibly because of the name, or maybe because there’s not much about her, she hasn’t come back since Animal Crossing (or Animal Forest E+, whatever.) She sure is brown, but I can’t say she really evokes a specific type of anteater for me, she’s just brown and white.

I have said all I can about Nosegay, and will rate her a Tussie-Mussie / Bouquet. (Tussie-Mussie? Why is that a thing someone called that?)

Olaf

Goodness, but look at this. The hair, looking like it was dipped in a thing of styling gel and allowed an artful curl down his face. The eyebrows! The lower lashes! Honestly, he packs a lot into a few details, and I am very pleased with this smug matador-looking fellow.

On the downside, having not had Olaf in town, I don’t know what he looks like in a different shirt very clearly, and I worry it spoils his impact... A quick google search gives me better pictures of him in other outfits, and the result is silly rather than just ruinous. Good! I approve.

0le!/10

Pango

Pango’s color scheme is nice, but not really evocative, so the effect is sort of “she’s just kind of a colorful ant-eater.” Which isn’t a bad design call, or anything, so much as it makes it hard for me to form a real opinion. She’s got that swirl reminiscent of hair, she has that nicely snooty eyeshadow and eyelash.

5/10, gotta have some actual ratings sometimes.

Snooty

Snooty is Snooty, and that fact alone brings Snooty points. The eyebrows and eyes on her give her a distinct character in a way her color scheme doesn’t quite do, aesthetically-pleasing though the golden edges of her tail are. That character isn’t quite enough or pleasant enough for me, but it is there. She came back with Welcome Amiibo after not being seen since Animal Crossing, which is looking like a theme with Anteaters. Poor dears.

Snooty / Snoot

Zoe

I don’t get Zoe. I can’t quite tell why her neck has those hard lines, or that little lump. Is she supposed to look robotic? Or like a toy? Is that some sort of funky little goiter? I’m sorry, I do not know, cannot guess, and do not like this. The wiki suggests that, with that little tuft of brown “hair” on her forehead, she may be wearing a hood, ala Chrissie and Francine. This explains nothing.

????? / 10 She hasn’t been back since Animal Crossing, and I am OK with this.

Surprised at the how sporadic anteaters are, honestly, both in my preferences and in their presence in the games. I do want more, because those fluffy tails are very cute.

#animal crossing #Deme Rates Villagers #Anteaters

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kamalakhanappreciator · 5 years

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The Circle Q Notice Board #1: Ships Sail, Games Hopefully Don’t Sink

Hello, and Welcome to the FIRST news bulletin of The Circle Q!

Kamala Korps, while the week wasn’t packed, we have some BIG things to talk about, so let’s get to it!

1. “KAMALA AND BRUNO SIT ON A TREE, PLEASE NO RETCON OMG!”

So, yes, I did talk about this yesterday, but I feel like I should talka bout it here as well, since it is EASILY our main story!

So, November 6th, the so far ONLY issue with Kamala that month comes out, “Magnificent Ms. Marvel” #9, and it’s sure to be a doozy! As I said yesterday, with Kamal’s Abu dying and a venom arc coming up, Kamala really doesn’t need more, but if the teasing creators are to be believed, years of romantic tension will come to a close as it seems that Kamala and Bruno will FINALLY get together!

Does it mean anything? Who knows! But it is sure to be the talk of the month!

Issue as said goes on sale November 6th, and of course, expect a review and live reaction!

2. Avengers Gameplay Trailer: Kamala Looks Great, But Is She Alone In That?

youtube

So everyon and their mother know about this game, from its crowd pleasing announcment, to its seeming death, to its ressurction and then...

Yep. It looks... Worrying.

Credit to Square Enix, they seem to have listened to some complaints (the figthing is looking a bit better, some designs seem improved, the story seems solid), and of course OUR GIRL LOOKS GREAT!

Seriously, I fangirled HARD when her character trailer came out!

However, whilst Kamala looks great, and the trailer states that she is a focal point and sort of the main character, the rest of the game...

Do we have microtransactions here? Is the gameplay really better? IS THIS GOOD OR NOT?

May 2020 is the destination, and hopefully, this game won’t be disappointing in any way.

...I fear for us all.

Coming to XBOX ONE, PS4, Windows and Google Stadia next year!

3. TV: Marvel’s Spider-Man had her!... Not the most eventful week.

Ok, so this sounds a little small time, and the episodes came out October 20th and 27th, buit considering this show isn’t exactly world famous and us Kamala Korps have NOTHING this november in terms of TV, I think we need SOMETHING to tide us over!

So, here you go! “Brand New Day” and “The Cellar” do have Kamala (to an extent, I hope) voiced as ever by Kathreen Khavari, and well, I hope it manages to make some of you happy!

Here are the Wikipedia summeries:

“Peter begins getting his life back on track following Octavius' sacrifice, including dealing with his departure from Horizon High. When a series of attacks results in Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, Ms. Marvel, and Black Widow being captured one-by-one, Spider-Man is left to figure out who could be behind this. However, the villains suspected of being involved with these attacks (consisting of Mister Negative, Spot, Electro, Cloak, Sandgirl, and Molten Man) are locked away in a high-security prison known as The Cellar. As Spider-Man investigates his claims after they are debunked by Chief Watanabe, he encounters a dangerous new power-copying enemy known as Regent.”

“Going on the defensive against Regent, Spider-Man meets up with Chief Watanabe and reveals new information he discovered on what has befallen Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, Ms. Marvel, and Hulk. Watanabe identifies Frostbite, Whirlwind, and Paradox as the there supervillains whose abilities were replicated by Regent that Spider-Man has never encountered before. Taking his mission of rescuing the missing Avengers to The Cellar, Spider-Man meets with Watanabe's mentor Augustus Roman, who reveals himself as Regent. The corrupt warden explains he has used the powers of the various inmates to imprison the missing Avengers in another dimension because of how they arrested his father long ago. Meanwhile, Otto Octavius finally recovers from his coma in time for him and Anna Maria to help Spider-Man as redemption for his past crimes. The three also gain some unexpected help from the likes of Cloak and Dagger.”

That’s it for this week! See ya next time!

EMBIGGEN!

SpongeGuy.

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morethanafinalgirl · 5 years

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My Earthseed Community Blog

This may sound entirely all over the place but I learned something very valuable from having to write this blog. It is incredibly difficult to build a movement, but it is also ok to try and fail. I was acting like my actual life depended on this community I created for this blog, and I think that is the nature of the time we are living in now and the atmosphere it creates. I also was reminded that it took Lauren Olamina, our badass protagonist of Parable of the Sower, years to create Earthseed. So this is my first shot/idea & I hope I can expand upon it / be mindful it as I go about my business from now on :)

TWO (2) real-life issues that make it necessary to create your Earthseed community.

(1) Environmental injustice, specifically environmental racism which perpetuates the disproportionate impact of environmental hazards on People of Color. This includes the intentional dumping of hazardous waste in Communities of Color, lack of funding for initiatives to spread awareness of environmental impact in low-income Communities of Color, refusal to address the issue of or even provide clean water to Communities of Color (Flint, MI), disrupting clean water access (Dakota Access Pipeline), and more. Institutions have the power and monetary resources to aid in and prevent these situations from happening in the first place, but refuse to due in part to a lack of care and a blatant racism towards Communities of Color.

(2) Late-stage capitalism, specifically surveillance capitalism: users being seen and treated as a raw material, with extreme customization mastered for the purposes of manipulation of consumer behavior (e.g. the Amazon Echo/Alexa, the located based PokemonGo game) which has ultimately defined people as sources and as cash cows to be controlled, rather than as customers or users. This has lead to almost total reliance on corporate actors / big businesses to make decisions for people and to maintain power over people. In this sense, the community is seeking shelter from corporate manipulation and an impending inability to make any decisions on our own.

As a whole, we are seeking shelter from real, felt injustice and forming a community to recognize our agency and power to make decisions, and to use that to eventually create a more just society.

Earthseed verses

(1) “Belief initiates and guides action—or it does nothing.” (Butler, 1993, p. 47)

Our Earthseed community must be action-oriented, and not will not idly sit around and wait for issues to solve themselves. Given that folks will have strong belief in justice—seeing that we had to escape from injustice in the first place—we recognize its necessity not only for ourselves but for the world. We must believe in our own agency and power—rather than rely on institutions to have so much power over us—to affect change, from simple acts of love and compassion towards one another to creating large scale impacts collectively. We believe in the potential of humankind to be just, inclusive, and compassionate toward one another, and we use that to organize ourselves for big acts of advocacy and demonstration, and through our everyday, simple acts of love toward one another and our environment.

(2) “All struggles Are essentially power struggles. Who will rule, Who will lead, Who will define, refine, confine, design, Who will dominate. All struggles Are essentially power struggles, And most are no more intellectual than two rams knocking their heads together” (Butler, 1993, p. 94)

Our Earthseed community, acknowledges the ability of hierarchy to destroy. It is guided by collective contribution and relies on dialogue spaces to understand one another and build from differences, rather than create barriers due to them. We must acknowledge that not one single person is all-knowing or “right” or above the rest, but that collaboration and question-posing among one another will be needed to guide collective action. We did not form community to create a system of oppression all over again. In our escape from surveillance capitalism, we recognized the ways in which money and materials has been given value to create extreme differences in power which have created extreme class divides. We have been viewed as useful only for means of working and for consuming. We have been exploited while only a small percentage thrive, and we seek to prevent a system like this within our own community.

WHERE you will create your Earthseed community to be safe.

Somewhere away from heavily-populated large metropolitan cities, yet close enough to be accessible to folks who need the safe space to grow the most. In the central California area could be a good place to start, but ultimately hope the community can mobilize and become more nomadic after some years of establishment and collective organization. We have to have a place where sustainable practices and proximity to unbothered nature are a reality, but the overall point after years of establishing and refining our community practices will be to spread the message of collaboration, accountability and empowerment.

Who can join your community and why? Who can’t join? Why not?

Anyone who demonstrates a willingness to collaborate, understands what it means to occupy space, and has a clear understanding of injustice and the necessity of building coalitions to help eradicate issues. No one will be excluded except that they explicitly pose a threat to justice and collectiveness and who refuse to seek understanding of different backgrounds, but our community is targeted towards marginalized communities in that it seeks to eradicate issues that are much more readily relatable for those of us from marginalized identities.

Leadership Model

Since the community is rooted in collectivism and putting power into the hands of the people, the leadership model must have collaborative aims. Leaders must exist in constant communication with the community. That is, they will not live separately from the people they are meant to serve, or gain monetary benefits or visible markers of difference (clothing, headwear, etc.) for their ability to lead. A triune system, comprised of people chosen by the community will be set up at least at first to establish stability for community. These three leaders will be in collaboration with one another, and commune to express the interests and ideas of the people they work and collaborate with every day. One leader will be intentionally responsible for spiritual, mental and relational formation—connecting folks to one another through dialoguing spaces each week and ensuring mental health is a priority in the community. Another will spearhead logistics for community organizing efforts and be responsible for effective communication with each other—including implementing feedback—and spreading the goals of the Earthseed community to those unaware of its goals or of is existence. Another will focus on sustainability, focusing on practical ways to coexist with our environment without harming it, as well as ensuring conditions are not only survivable but provide a lasting ability for people to thrive.

a FUTURE TECHNOLOGY (one on the horizon, not something like teleportation or time travel) to help improve life at your Earthseed community.

The future technology will be most helpful to practical survival, in terms of sustenance and overall well-being. Relying phone technology, our future technology will be a “nature reader” of sorts – a device that will be able to scan things like plants, soils, insect and provide information on not only what they are comprised of and practical uses, but of our impact when using them—whether its harmful or useful. The community can add more information to the device as it is discovered along the way, making it an eventual community-built library of information. For example, whereas an encyclopedia entry may have provided an herbs origins and historical uses, a community member could add to the system that they found it to be particularly useful when mixing it with something else for example to heal a cut. This library is not built to make profits or to sell certain products, but to help one another find helpful uses for different items we have access to while encouraging one another to come up with innovative ways to use seemingly simple resources.

How your Earthseed community will SURVIVE.

Through effective communication, collaboration, and—as explored in the previous prompt—helping each other find various helpful uses for seemingly simple items. I think a community thrives when its members are valued and feel valued. So, instead of just assigning random roles for people to do certain tasks, everyone can try their hand at something different and discover where their strengths lie and where they can develop. Where some members may be particularly good at gardening, that does not mean they are confined to this for their time spent in the community. They are encouraged and supported to share knowledge—the weekly dialogue spaces could be good for this—and to seek other passions as well. The same goes for someone who might be particularly skilled at computing, or cooking, or fitness, etc. The whole point is to learn from one another as a baseline. We have to understand one another—which does not necessarily mean agree—in order to even begin organizing to spread a message of justice.

TWO steps your Earthseed community will make to build a better future, i.e. education, housing, conservation, farming, etc.

(1) collaborative education, with emphasis on environment (inspired by Paolo Freire’s principles) Freirean education seeks to empower people, to valid people’s ability to pose questions and to work together to pose solutions, rather than looking to one person for a “right” answer. With this being promoted and implement within community, new ideas will surely arise as people will feel valued, supportive, and like we are a part of something meaningful. There is an emphasis on environment since a lack of awareness about it has been leveraged against people of our community.

(2) sustainability practices, including gardening, composting, and recycling. While acknowledging that corporations must be held accountable for real environmental change to happen, our community can still make a powerful group effort in our space in order to reduce the harm to the environment. By actively practicing intentional care of our earth, we can see nature as our ally and as something we can contribute positively to as well. This promotes agency and empowerment without emphasis on material gain.

#parable of the sower #afrofuturism #octavia butler #earthseed #environmental racism #capitalism #surveillance capitalism #capitalism is a toxin #justice

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intothehoid · 5 years

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Ok, so I'm not gonna lie. I don't entirely remember the exact order of the days I spent in Beijing. My grasp of linear time is not always the best, so this part might get a little mushy.

The whole point of our time in Beijing was twofold. Most importantly, we had orientation. Now, it's worth mentioning that this program gave a LOT of freedom to its participants. At least, compared to other programs. There were restrictions. They had a no alcohol, no drugs, no dating policy (the first because it is VERY illegal in China. All sorts of BIG TROUBLE. The latter two largely because they'd allowed them before and things got messy and unfortunate and uncomfortable). But the other programs I had looked into were far more restrictive. There was one program that would send me to Russia that I had actually committed to - to the point of submitting a $300 non-refundable deposit - and only found out after I signed the contract that they didn't allow their volunteers to go ANYWHERE alone. At all. I would go nuts. In the end, the final factor was financial. China cost $1300 and Russia would have cost $2500. But the whole not being able to go anywhere (like not even in your neighborhood) alone was a significant factor. China actually ended up costing even less, but I'll get to that. The second purpose of our time in Beijing was as a tour of the capitol!

Anyways, this all goes to say that orientation was not quite as... intense as I thought it would be. The entire teaching structure was not nearly as, well, structured. Orientation mostly consisted of getting ideas for games and teaching exercises from each other and thinking about how to react in different scenarios. There were also some cultural differences that were explained (such as, it's not necessarily appropriate for students to visit teachers at their apartments, depending on the situation, people WILL take pictures of you, DO NOT DRINK THE TAP WATER, DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET PAPER, etc.). I'll admit, I was worried. The majority of the teachers in our program were teaching in kindergartens and grade schools. I was teaching at a high school so I was worried that the games and the fun things wouldn't be enough, but I decided I would just plan more things later when I was settled into my new home. Orientation was fun and I got to meet some really cool people and that's basically all you really need to know about that.

Now, onto the good part. Cavorting about Beijing!

Ok, one of the first tourist things we did after running around at night was go to the Summer Palace. Contrary to the name, it did not defy the wintery weather and bring warmth. It was still freezing. So much so that the moat was entirely frozen over and a whole host of people were sledding on the ice. Less people were ice skating, but there were still some. It was pretty expensive to rent a sled so I declined. It had been several years since this moat had frozen over enough to skate on so it was very popular. Also, thinking back on it, it probably wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it was back then. I hadn't gotten a good grasp of how Chinese yuan converted to US dollars, so I probably should have gone for the skating thing, but I guess you live, you learn.

This trip was a momentous occasion for me! It was the first time I had used a squatty potty. It was a bit daunting. I was kind of nervous (mostly because everyone else seemed so nervous about it). The bathroom smelled typical of a Chinese public restroom. That is, nasty with a thin veil of incense. Don't get me wrong. I think that most of them were cleaned fairly regularly. They just smelled bad. Worse than your typical public American restroom. Some public restrooms were outright nasty and others were like entering the worst porta-potty you've ever encountered only worse. One time, I went to pee in a bathroom that was just barely bigger than myself in the back of a restaurant right next to the small, odd-shaped basin where they kept the live fish for cooking. It was an experience. I love China.

It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Honestly. It was much easier to use the squatty potty than I thought and I didn't understand the people who continued to complain excessively. Maybe squatting to go pee just came more naturally to me. Eheheheh... (PSST! The secret if you’re worried about your clothes is to hold them out of the way. Also you have to learn how to squat down with both feet flat on the floor. It’s both a great stretch and if you do it right you can balance squatting down for a long time… both in the bathroom and just anywhere you want to rest and don’t have a seat. In the West/America (My realm of experience is limited to China, Thailand and America, ok!) we generally squat up on the balls of our feet and it’s both harder to balance and more tiring on your muscles. Seriously, guys! Learn how to squat on flat feet, it’s miraculous and life-saving!)

Anyways, the Summer Palace! It was my first close contact with old imperial Chinese architecture. I think, on the first night, I saw one of the old guard towers near Tiananmen Square, but that was from afar. Here I was, walking through centuries old buildings with some of the most intricate detailing I'd ever come across. We went through the front gate. It was very ornate! Very lovely! There were old, worn statues outside and the colors on the gate were beautiful. Then we went inside. This is where I saw the moat and the infamous bathrooms. Then we went across a bridge. The old style Chinese bridges are beautiful. They're made of stone (a LOT of things are made with stone in China. I think it's because there's a lot of stone that's relatively easy to quarry. Even with modern things, a lot of the embellishments will be made of stone styled after traditional designs. Clouds are a very popular design.) and have those big circular cut-out bottoms. This one was different, but still stone and still pretty. There were a bunch of small buildings surrounding the moat. I found out in retrospect this is called Suzhou Street. This is funny because Suzhou is a city down South in the Shanghai area named Suzhou that is really famous for silks and for ancient water towns. Basically, old one-two story, tightly packed towns with canals instead of streets. AKA Venice of China. So, my guess is this street is called Suzhou street because there were old, one-two story buildings surrounding a 'street' of water. From there, we went the Site of Sumeru Temple.

Please keep in mind, I knew very few of these names when I was there. Maps were a little... Hit or miss (another common theme). I also have forgotten many of these names because it's been almost two years since I was there. So I'm doing some research to supplement my names and such.

I wish I could do justice to the architecture with words. I'll include some of the few pictures I managed to post before the computer incident. It was a bit magical. The Site of Sumeru Temple was fronted by a wide courtyard. The temple was raised and two staircases paralleled the foundation it was raised on and formed a sort of triangle leading up to the temple. There were a couple of towers off to the sides of temple. The temple was largely red, white, and yellow (red and white walls, yellow roofs). I remember that the inside of the temple was cool, but apparently not that memorable because I don't really remember it. Oops. But after that we went to the Hall of Buddhist Tenets and that was amazing! (Upon further research, I'm not sure if this building was called the Hall of Buddhist Tenets or the Sea of Wisdom. Like I said, maps were... iffy.)

The inside was cool, but the outside was amazing! It was mostly a deep golden yellow, but inset in emerald green indentations were hundreds upon hundreds of approximately head-sized golden-yellow Buddhas! They were beautiful! I got some really cool pictures sitting up in this large white stone window frame set into the side of the building, but they were lost. (Looks nostalgically into the sunsets whilst inwardly swearing like a sailor at my hard drive... Seriously, I'm still not over this guys.) But there were these little Buddhas just covering the entire building and they were beautiful! Intricate and there were just so many of them!

After that the group I had kind of adopted wandered a bit up and down the walkways. There were some courtyards and cool walls. I remember we went to the back of the Hall of Buddhist Tenets and were exploring the backside. We took some more pictures there and explored some of the nooks and crannies of the building.

The Temple of Buddhist Virtue is one of the crowning pieces of the Summer Palace (that's like saying it's one of the shiny marbles in an entire bucketful. There were a lot of awesome things!) It's a large, rounded pagoda that rises up from a hill overlooking the large lake that borders the palace. It's actually more hexagonal, but those are details. Details. One of my favorite things about Chinese imperial architecture are the details. They're immaculate. Carved wooden designs and three dimensional patterns colored in red, emerald, cobalt blue, gold, and accents of white intertwining around small murals painted in exquisite color.

For some reason we decided not to go into the Temple. It might have been closed, but it didn't really matter because it was stunning from the outside.

We went down the hill to some of the lower portions. There were a lot more people there! It was a cool area. More walls there and it felt more like an... official complex as opposed to a park. The upper area felt more like a park. It was also beautiful and wondrous, just a different feel.

We didn't spend as much time there, so I don't remember as much. The one thing I remember more than any of the lower area is the view of the lake. We got an amazing view of the lake from above.

It was winter so the days were shorter. Even though it was still fairly early the sun was hanging low over the horizon and kissing the world with a red-golden light. Earlier I mentioned that we caught the tail end of Spring Festival. This was such a gift! Not nearly as many of the factories were up and running because people were on holiday so the air was much clearer than it might be at other times of the year! It wasn't consistently clear, but WOW! We got some beautiful days! This was no exception! There were some clouds and haze on the horizon, but - I'm gonna level with you real hard - when there was just a smidge of smog/haze in the air it made the sunsets radiant! Ok, have any of you grown up in an area that gets summer fires? I do, I'm from western Oregon. Lots of trees. Dry summers. Things burn. It's an unfortunately beautiful side effect of such destruction, but the sunsets are beautiful gold and red and the sun turns into a brilliant glowing red ball in the smoke. The air drips with color and saturated light weaves itself through the buildings and trees coloring everything!

It was a bit like this. Not quite as red this afternoon, but the gold of the setting sun was effusive!

A large part of the lake was frozen over as well closer to the shore, but enough of the lake was unfrozen enough for the boats to be out. On the frozen part of the lake, where the ice sparkled in the sunlight, dozens of people were skating and sledding on the ice. The sunlight illuminated the vast spread of the Summer Palace. There was so much that we didn't get to explore.

When I go back to China I would like to go back to some of the places I'd gone during orientation and honestly, spend far more time in these places. I don't know if I'll get a day as overwhelmingly lovely as this was, but I want to see all of the many, many things I missed. This view was breathtaking, both in its beauty and in the array of buildings in the palace area that we didn't get to visit. It's massive. We were there for several hours and I don't think we saw half of it.

After coming up from the lower area (heading back because we were beginning to need to find our meeting place) I ended up with a different group. Not gonna lie, not entirely sure how that happened. Eheheheh.... But they were fun! We decided to visit a couple more places in the palace and make a sort of round about way towards our original entrance because we had more time than we thought.

Our path came to a river and followed it. It was amazing! At first, it started out as just a bit of frozen water in a river-shaped dent in the ground. Then more ice began to appear. Then giants chunks of ice and suddenly, we were walking next to a river that wasn't really a river. It was a river that had been utterly frozen solid and then split into massive pieces of ice with the bottom of river rocks running in between. The river did this delightful thing where there were shelves of ice clinging to the cut stones of the walkway as the very edge. There was a drop of several feet before the frozen ice resumed. It was fascinating!

I loved this part (and not just because I loved the entire thing). We had inadvertently taken a route that found some of the less well-kempt parts of the palace complex. There were the areas tourists didn't normally go. Or maybe they did and they were kept less restored as a reminder.

Regardless of why they were less cared for, it was a bit haunting. In a very enchanting kind of way. I had just been utterly dazzled by this amazing series of perfectly restored architecture on an imperial scale. I had been delightfully bombarded by designs hundreds of years old simultaneously looked hundreds of years old and as if they had been created last week. I had seen buildings older than anything I had ever seen before and everything was fresh and impeccably restored.

And then the illusion faded.

I gradually found myself in a world where time hadn't been recaptured. Instead it was observed through a scratched lens. You could see the grandeur that used to be, but there were imperfections. The paint wasn't as vibrant, in some places it was peeling, in some places it was gone altogether and the wood beneath lay bare to the winter air. It was the same style and the designs were similar if not the same, but it was faded. There weren't as many decorations and these areas were far less colorful. It was magical.

The other areas were like stepping back in time to the moment when these buildings were still alive. This was walking through a half-gone memory. It was a step back in time, but seen through the view of the forgotten places and the spaces that don't shine. Ethereal. Somber. It was like walking through a held breath.

We approached the entrance from the side by the river where people were still skating and walked up behind the wooden buildings bordering the river and across the stone bridge. And that was the Summer Palace.

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