#oh no im old 😂

[amelia-yap]

Reminder: Your art is good and you should feel good!

uuuuuuuuuuu thanvbs

#oh also im thinking of reblogging some of my old stuff should i do that #like adding some random commentary and making fun of it while burning my eyes AND your eyes in the process lmao #i'll include a cringe rating too!! #this post has also been sitting in the drafts for a good amount of time i really need to be more active 😂

[thornsnvultures]

a nice thing about working with mostly middle aged women is that they're always telling me to slow down and take a break lol like they all work hard but none of them are breaking their back to get shit done it's great

#i told my sil about the ladies i work with and she was like 'oh that's great for you!' because im also a 60 year old woman 😂

[pepprs]

being m*rried would fix me. goodbye

#purrs #like omg. iam so scared it will never happen to me because im 24 years old and don’t have a. drivers license and am terrified of covid and h #have never kissed or whatever in my whole life 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 b it i want to get married so bad and not just like to get married but to find my #Prrson. i don’t even think i want kids anymore (🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴) i literally just want to find my person and be with them already. this post brought #to you by someone i follow on another platform posting abt how their engagement ring makes them choked up when they catch a glimpse of it in #the most mundane moments of their life bc it means their partner is waiting for them and loves them etc etc. like oh my GOD. lying in the #street right now. please god please god please god let that happen for me please please please. i can’t take it anymore ♥️ #delete later #i used to never post abt things like this on principle but then last yr put me in a hydraulic press so now i will post about missing my #soulmate whenever i damn well please which is every single day. im going crazyyyyy with despair omfgnrhskdhdj why am i living like this 😭 #lkteraly i think abt my future wedding if i am so lucky as to ever get to have one every 3 hours at LEAST no joke.

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Wait, hawthorn has agoraphobia???..... What is that????

here's the first result on google for you since i had to do it for you

#/lh btw but also you couldve just googled it yourself 😂 #Anonymous #oh and addition: im pretty sure this is canon to canon ink too LMAOAOSFJA (basing off comyet's old doodles)

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

there's got to be some sorta irony here in this untitled document i made back in february apparently where i wrote a single sentence and nothing else and i don't even remember what i was originally gonna write here, so i open this document i don't remember existing and am greeted w/ this

#delete later #apparently yeah i can be a coward i can run away and never finish whatever tf this was supposed to be 😂😂😭😭😭 #if i do remember something(?) i think i actually fell asleep and thats why i never finished this; i created this document on my phone iirc #typed this and then passed the fuck out trying to think of what to write next #and me being me was prob like 'oh ill write it down later!' and then never did. man at least give me some context clues 😭😭 bestie what #I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF knowing i have like the world's worst fucking memory. godddd. #im avoiding my homework so hard for now. god help me i am soooo fucking stressed AND THIS ISNT HELPING but jekdgljbhuringkbjk #i look at my own old stuff sometimes just cause. theres a lot of unfinished snippets here id like to come back to someday but brain blah

[guinevereslancelot]

got my friend a silver sixpence for her shoe bc she got engaged (and she's estranged from her parents over it) and she told me she's getting married barefoot 😂

#she had never heard of the sixpence either lmao #something old something new something borrowed something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe #anyway my mom still has hers from her wedding saved for me #and i thought oh dang my friend's mom probably wont give her one so i ordered one for her #but clearly she is ok abt it bc she never heard of that tradition 😂 #she asked me what culture it was from #technically yes my grandma passed it down probably from her mom who was irish but i thought it was pretty universally known #anyway this is my clown shoes friend who's highschool bf is paying her rent #i really shouldn't have given her anything but im trying to be supportive in order to preserve the peace in the friend group #but she makes it so hard lol #at least she has a job offer finally #so maybe she will pay a month or two of her own rent before they get married #🤡 #anyway she's getting married barefoot outside in two months but has no idea where she's getting married #and yet plans to have invitations out in a couple weeks? #isnt the location supposed to be on the invitations lol #anyway apparently my gesture was wasted but she liked the fancy envelope i put the coin in 😂 #i sent her the wikipedia link to the poem lmao #this has been a shitpost

[crest-of-gautier]

from june 29th 2023- a quad with squiffer!

#splatoon 3 #lizz.mp4 #silly snipes! #i like this one enough that it's getting its own post #there's some aspects about this that make me cringe but considering i've only used motion for 3 months at that point this is pretty good #like the shots could be cleaner and whatnot (would've been swag if it was a wipeout!!) #idk if this is my first quad with it or not cos the other squiff clip i have on here is like 5 splats over the course of 30 seconds #anyway i need everyone to know that my old squiffy clips have been giving me psychic damage WHY DID I PLAY SO BAD #<- it's called improvement!! cringing at old stuff = skill improvement methinks #thres like 10.5 minutes of all the squiffer clips ive taken and im like 'my guy you need to stop clipping you ONLY got one splat!' #oh well at least i was proud 😂 im sure i can do much better now #and i think playing other chargers like z+f and e-liter have helped me get better at squiffer #hoping and praying that squiffy and i don't get a divorce over the second kit

[deelovesbooks]

My uncle was sharing the fucking Facebook posts of "it's not happy holidays it's MERRY CHRISTMAS SHARE IF U AGREE" and the temptation to just rock up to family jesusmas and only say happy holidays this year is so so strong

#let it be known that i come by my pettiness honestly #there is a non zero chance that my mom is gonna ensure that one member of our family is missing from Christmas and all holidays #bc of drama that happened at Thanksgiving last month 😂 #and there have also been other moments of pettiness also related to this side of family christmas #of my oma (step dads mom) asking my mom to tone it down with the gifts to the other grandkids bc she feels shown up #of which i believe my moms internal response and then what we talked about was essentially fuck u imma do it even more now #like my cousins dont care if oma gives them 20 and auntie gives them like 30 or 40 they just go sweet money #but oh man thanksgiving was just drama basically about getting a family picture together with everone bc #'this could be the last time were all together' which resulted in im assuming most of us going ok whos dying in like 3 months?? #bc its not like anyone is on their deathbed currently and we all live close to eachother relatively farthest away is just under 2 hrs #and the grandparents are only in young 70s not like theyre 99 and holding on for dear life #like yeah sure accidents happen and people die thats just life but we tend not to bring that up when leaving a family gathering #and then a majority of us grandkids are old enough to look at eachother like 👀😶 #im an adult and we got ages 12-16 sequentially for 6 out of 10 and then a like 10 8 5 and 3 make up the rest #anyways ill probably make sure to enunciate at least one happy holidays this year lol #me #my textposts #jesusmas #i think i actually have a tag for that

[volinare]

im going to make a sim thats a girl because im a girl. girl time. no need to make a big deal out of it, im a girl.

*accidentally makes the sims night shirt the trans shirt*

#im walking into the ocean and never returning #for real though im gonna fucking kill my self like #i dont #being s girl is easy and fun and i like it #i dont want to be a boy #and i hate hate hate thinking about it #and like im an ugly girl but thats okay #like j just need to accelt that #and when i think of my self old. if i get old. i think of an old man but i thing that just because i havnt seen enough okd women #and i think 'oh im going to look like my mom and grandma' and i feel like weirdly scared #lol #but i dont feel that eay thinking i might look like my dad or grandpa #but id never look like them #and when i did sort of look like my dad i like. didnt fully like howi looke din the mirror #like now im like 'yeah. girl' #but before i was like 'oh my god. i think thats my dad.' #im kind of starting to see my mom now though which is like 😂 #so maybe ill just scrape all the skin off my face like that one family guy ep #the show

[mini-uzzy]

.

#there's this old guy who comes here once in a while... #last time i gave him the wrong change and accused me of getting his order wrong before #if i did i would have at least remembered because i overthink like that... so i was like oh well i guess i deserved it #i was cranky that day and must have forgot or something #then he begins raising his voice how i always get his order wrong... almost like scolding his small grandkid #so I gave him a look and i shook my head saying nothing... he goes away... #now he comes here and im PRETTY SURE he said TWO pills... and right after i finished the transaction he said #that he said SIX... 'duha' and 'unom' does NOT sound the same 😂😂 #so now im convinced this old fart is messing with me #some people... #wyn talks :)

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙everyone knows | CS55˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: carlos sainz x ferrari admin!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: none just fluff as usual!

summary: in which your boyfriend moves teams but that doesn't stop you from simping in the comments

a/n: i jus put carlos in red bull!!! & used random pics from old era tbh so kind of disregard tht lolz

request!!!: after Carlos moves to a new team , reader who still works for Ferrari now simps over Carlos in the comments in Carlos' new team post's (like.. the one on the left is a hottie) with Ferraris account too lol

fc: various brunette girls from pinterest

prequel

my masterlist

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername 📍 abu dhabi

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 481,263 others

yourusername his last race in ferrari ❤️

view all 13,092 comments

user4 dont remind me

user5 our fav couple forced to work apart how could they do this 💔💔💔

liked by yourusername

user6 WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

carlossainz55 had the best season with you ❤️

yourusername love you

carlossainz55 i love you forever

user7 some of u acting like they breaking up LOL

user8 tbh im excited to see carlos at red bull next season 🤷‍♀️

user9 me too!!!

user10 forza ferrari 💔💔

scuderiaferrari 📍 bahrain

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, and 883,137 others

scuderiaferrari finally here for the start of the 2025 season how are we all feeling? 👀

tagged: charles_leclerc, lewishamilton

view all 17,162 comments

user11 lewis in red 🫨

user12 still not used to seeing carlos NOT in ferrari red

user13 we miss him.....

user14 everyone shutup and appreciate lewis lol

user15 how are WE feeling??! how are YOU feeling girl!!!

user16 ferrari admin found crying

carlossainz55 📍 bahrain

liked by scuderiaferrari, yourusername, and 780,124 others

carlossainz55 life in navy blue

view all 12,341 comments

user17 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

user18 so proud of u carlos

user19 i luv him and y/n sm

scuderiaferrari woof woof woof

carlossainz55 hi ferrari.

scuderiaferrari heyyy hahahhh soo.....u single?

carlossainz55 😀 urm.

user20 she is so weird im obsessed with it

maxverstappen1 glad to have you back 🙂

carlossainz55 glad to be back!!

redbullracing 💙💙

liked by carlossainz55

redbullracing 📍 jeddah

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, and 834,988 others

redbullracing race weekend!!

tagged: maxverstappen1, carlossainz55

view all 9,136 comments

user21 love seeing them back racing together

user22 💙💙💙💙💙💙

user23 waiting for a y/n comment tbh

user24 my fav duo

maxverstappen1 💙

kellypiquet 💙

scuderiaferrari omg who is that in the second pic???? sooo hot is he single??

user25 😂😂😂😂😂

redbullracing our new rookie driver🥹

scuderiaferrari no way...he looks familiar though?

carlossainz55 it's me, hi

charles_leclerc ferrari admin please refrain from simping for other team's drivers

scuderiaferrari ferrari admin plz stop simping😂😂😂 shut up nerd

user26 omg i just screamed my head off hahaha

twitter ->

messages ->

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, and 532,711 others

yourusername little race dump

view all 7,293 comments

user30 is that her & carlos omg 😭

user31 realest girl ever

user32 my fav simpee

user33 does she ever go in the rb garage for carlos or wear their merch 🤔

kellypiquet 💙💙

liked by yourusername

user34 they're friends?

user35 she's so normal on this account

user36 she lets her feral side out on ferrari account 😭

carlossainz55 gorgeous girl

yourusername no u

carlossainz55 true i am a gorgeous girl

redbullracing 📍 australia

liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55, and 891,367 others

redbullracing another great weekend!

tagged: carlossainz55, maxverstappen1

view all 10,718 comments

user37 my fav team

user38 oh hi charles in the back

user39 y/n using charles as an excuse to comment when?

user40 legendaryyy

scuderiaferrari so proud of our boy!!! 🫶

redbullracing we're looking after him dont worry

scuderiaferrari 🥹🥹🥹

user41 omg this is surprisingly wholesome

user42 i love ferrari admin she just wants carlos to be happy wherever he is

user43 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

carlossainz55 posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 423,728 others

user44 AWWWWW STOP IT

user45 omg i just screamed

user46 i LOVE her

charles_leclerc she's a real one

pierregasly everyone's fav red bull fan in red clothing

landonorris awww look at everyone's fav f1 team social media admin xx

yourusername .......ur lucky i love you

THE END ❤️💙

#f1 #f1 smau #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #smau #f1 fic #f1 imagine #carlos sainz #carlos sainz fanfic #cs55 #cs55 smau #cs55 fluff #cs55 imagine #cs55 x reader #maddie's smau

[atticrissfinch]

Gimme What I Want: A Fic in Texts

pairing: joel miller x afab!reader summary: the wrong number that texts you ends up being a man much hotter than you’d ever expect… warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] no!outbreak, porn w/o plot i’m sorry but not really, dirty talk, daddy!kink, praise!kink and degradation!kink (we love duality), light dom!joel vibes, pet names/degrading terms (darlin’, babygirl, pretty girl, whore, slut, bitch, etc), age gap (Joel is 56, reader is 25), implied masturbation (m & f), mentions of cream pies, sexting a stranger but it’s ok cause he’s a dilf, really bad innuendos word count: ~2.2k | ao3 a/n: biting the bullet and posting my first fic in literal years because Pedro is just…an inspiration what can I say. So I’m going with something a little lighter (conceptually, not topically…this is just smut lmao). Pls be nice I am c r u s t y with my writing rn ty <3 (gif from ketokitsune on reddit)

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Kofi

[5:32 PM] UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hey Doug, this is Joel. Tommy gave me your number, he mentioned a build job you might have for us? Happy to chat whenever, just let me know. 

[5:40 PM] You: Good to hear from you Joel. Unfortunately I’ve vowed to never do work with a man whose name starts with the letter “J”. Nothing personal 

[5:46 PM] Joel: Uh…no disrespect intended…but are you jokin?

[5:52 PM] You: ‘Fraid not. J is reserved for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen 

[6:10 PM] Joel: Well…I guess in that case, let me know if you change your mind. God bless, I suppose 

[6:12 PM] You: I’m totally fucking with you, man. You got the wrong number 

[6:12 PM] You: Sorry I couldn’t resist 

[6:15 PM] Joel: Wait, serious? 

[6:16 PM] You: As a heart attack. Sorry about that 

[6:18 PM] Joel: You got me good, I gotta admit. Head is still reeling a little bit LOL

[6:19 PM] You: I get my kicks where I can 

[6:23 PM] Joel: Well sorry to bother you. Thanks for the chuckle 

[6:27 PM] You: So you’re construction or something?

[6:30 PM] Joel: Yup. General contractor at your service

[6:30 PM] You: Your own business?

[6:31 PM] Joel: Is indeed

[6:32 PM] You: Damn, big bossman. Pretty hot

[6:35 PM] Joel: You’re silly. Im just an old man who’s put in too many years of work. Got achy bones

[6:40 PM] You: I know you’re not supposed to ask this on a first date, but how old are you, Joel?

[6:42 PM] Joel: HA! You’re a funny one! LOL

[6:42 PM] Joel: 56 very long years old

[6:45 PM] You: Oh, now, that’s not so old! 

[6:50 PM] Joel: Tell that to my knees. LOL

[7:03 PM] You: You lay a lot of pipe as a contractor, Joel?

[7:06 PM] Joel: Suppose I do. Gotta have plumbing. Why do you ask?

[7:15 PM] You: Actually been looking for someone to come snake my drain

[7:19 PM] Joel: I mean you’re probably lookin for more of a plumber in that case. I got some contacts if you need one

[7:25 PM] You: I prefer someone who knows how to lay pipe to snake my drain 😏

[7:36 PM] Joel: I feel like you may be talkin about somethin different than I am. Less appropriate maybe

[7:37 PM] You: It’s possible

[7:46 PM] Joel: if we’re breaking those rules I suppose I should ask how old YOU are. ‘Fore I say somethin stupid

[7:46 PM] Joel: or illegal

[7:47 PM] You: Well at least you’re careful. I’m 25. Safely out of “jail bait” territory 

[7:48 PM] Joel: Golly. 25. Jesus was I a hellion at 25. Hope you’re better behaved than I was 

[7:50 PM] You: I bet there’s still a little hellion in you 😉 

[7:51 PM] You: I could stand to have a little more hellion in me, if you catch my drift 😉

[7:58 PM] Joel: You’re a bitta trouble ain’t you

[7:59 PM] Joel: What you doing flirtin with a man over twice your age

[7:59 PM] Joel: A STRANGER at that

[8:00 PM] You: Oh I found you on google about an hour ago already. Not so strange anymore. 

[8:00 PM] You: Miller Contracting, right? In Austin? 

[8:02 PM] Joel: I’ll be damned. We got a regular Nancy Drew on our hands. 

[8:03 PM] You: Wasnt terribly difficult 😂 Already had your first name, area code, and occupation. 

[8:03 PM] Joel: Well shit if that ain’t a reminder to be more careful…

[8:05 PM] You: You’re a very handsome man, Joel Miller

[8:07 PM] Joel: Think you’re lookin at Tommy. He’s the face of the operation. I’m just the brains. 

[8:08 PM] You: Oh no, I see Tommy here. But he’s not who I’m looking at. There’s a couple pics of you on google. 

[8:08 PM] You: Salt and pepper hair. Scruffy beard. Nice sturdy build. Little scowl. Sound like you?

[8:09 PM] Joel: Damned if it don’t I guess

[8:09 PM] You: Definite silver fox 

[8:10 PM] Joel: Well I’m blushin over here. Thanks darlin

[8:10 PM] Joel: I’m sure you’re a beautiful young woman

[8:15 PM] You: How about you let me know

[8:15 PM] You: [Image Attached]

[8:15 PM] Joel: SHIT

[8:15 PM] Joel: Darlin you can’t just be sendin stuff like that!

[8:16 PM] You: I’m fully covered! 

[8:16 PM] Joel: Barely! 

[8:17 PM] You: I suppose I should have asked if you’re married

[8:17 PM] Joel: Might’ve been smart. But luckily no. Wouldn’t want to have to explain that shit to no one 

[8:17 PM] Joel: Wrong number suddenly sending me…pics like that

[8:19 PM] Joel: Not that it’s a BAD picture. You certainly are an undeniable beauty 

[8:19 PM] Joel: But you ARE trouble just like I said

[8:20 PM] You: Well then I have to ask. Do you like trouble, Mr Miller? 

[8:21 PM] Joel: Hey now don’t be callin me that…Mr Miller, that was my daddy 

[8:21 PM] You: Is that so

[8:21 PM] You: How would you feel about me calling you my daddy?

[8:22 PM] Joel: Jesus christ darlin…you are a forward little devil aren’t u

[8:22 PM] Joel: A little temptress

[8:22 PM] You: I tend to know what I want.

[8:22 PM] Joel: Seems like it

[8:25 PM] Joel: Ok. I’ll bite. In that pic…that really you? That what you’re wearin right now?

[8:25 PM] You: It is. You like?

[8:26 PM] Joel: Lord strike me down, but I do. You wear it real nice. Skimpy little top. Those wicked little daisy dukes. Like you’re right out of a fuckin dirty magazine 

[8:27 PM] Joel: What would your daddy say if he saw you takin pictures like that and sendin em to strange old men like me?

[8:27 PM] You: I dunno, daddy, what would you say?

[8:27 PM] Joel: Fuck me. You’re a naughty fuckin thing aint you  

[8:28 PM] You: VERY naughty. And I think you like that.

[8:33 PM] Joel: Goddamn it. Alright if you wanna be naughty who am I to stop you, darlin

[8:33 PM] Joel: Show me a little more 

[8:42 PM] Joel: Shit I’m sorry that was too much

[8:43 PM] You: [Image Attached]

[8:43 PM] You: Just wanted to get it right

[8:43 PM] Joel: Christ, you are…..

[8:43 PM] Joel: That is the finest pair of tits I may have ever seen in all my years. All pulled out of that flimsy little shirt. Absolutely perfect

[8:43 PM] You: Thank you, daddy. I’m glad you like them. 

[8:44 PM] Joel: I more than like em. God would I love to…

[8:44 PM] You: Love to what? Tell me, daddy. 

[8:45 PM] Joel: Goddammit somethin about you callin me that darlin

[8:45 PM] Joel: Got me all fucked up in the head

[8:45 PM] Joel: I want them in my hands. In my face. My mouth 

[8:45 PM] Joel: Bet they look fuckin exquisite bouncin up and down on…

[8:46 PM] You: On what, daddy? 

[8:47 PM] Joel: You got my filter all turned off babygirl. Thinkin some things that’ll send me straight to hell. Specially with a young thing like you 

[8:48 PM] You: Let me be real clear then. I like older men, Joel. Like how much they KNOW. All that experience. All that practice. 56 years, I know you know how to talk to a woman. So talk. 

[8:49 PM] Joel: Shit

[8:49 PM] Joel: Fuck it then. I certainly don’t aim to disappoint

[8:49 PM] Joel: Those gorgeous tits would look downright sinful if you were bouncin on my cock

[8:50 PM] You: Fuck yes daddy

[8:50 PM] Joel: You touchin yourself babygirl?

[8:51 PM] You: Just my tits right now. Imagining those big, rough hands of yours all over them. 

[8:51 PM] Joel: That’s good, babygirl. Squeeze those tits for me. 

[8:51 PM] Joel: Fuck. Sendin me dirty pics. Callin me your daddy. You’ve got this dick nice and hard. Might pull it out in a second

[8:51 PM] Joel: Would you like to see it?

[8:52 PM] You: Yes please daddy

[8:52 PM] Joel: Good girl

[8:54 PM] Joel: [Image Attached]

[8:54 PM] Joel: All for you babygirl

[8:55 PM] You: Holy fuck

[8:55 PM] You: I know every girl says this but I mean it, you are so fucking BIG

[8:55 PM] Joel: Haha believe me I know darlin

[8:55 PM] Joel: Had a lotta girls over the years have to take me real slow at first

[8:55 PM] Joel: But they all end up screamin my name just the same

[8:56 PM] You: Fuck I want it. Make me one of those girls. But don’t go slow. 

[8:57 PM] Joel: Yeah? You want it rough pretty girl? Want to be split open on this cock? want me to make you take it like the filthy fucking whore you are?

[8:57 PM] You: FUCK. Yesyesyes please keep talking to me like that i’m touching myself daddy

[8:58 PM] Joel: I know you are baby. Can’t fucking help yourself. Begging and drooling over this cock since you started talkin to me. Slutty little girl wants to get fucked and degraded by an old man 

[8:58 PM] You: Yes daddy I do I need your fucking huge cock in me PLEASE

[8:59 PM] Joel: Surprised a whore like you knows her manners so good, sayin please all pretty and nice

[8:59 PM] Joel: Matter fact when I put this cock in you, I better fuckin hear a thank you as well

[8:59 PM] You: THANK YOU DADDY

[9:00 PM] Joel: That’s right babygirl take that fucking cock and touch that pretty clit

[9:01 PM] You: Im already close daddy please please

[9:01 PM] Joel: Fuckin right you are. greedy little whore throbbin for this big cock. cum all over those soakin wet fingers thinkin bout me. god such a slutty little bitch aren’t you

[9:01 PM] You: Yessssss daddy im a slutty little bitch youre gonna make me cum

[9:02 PM] Joel: Stop textin and take a video of that dripping cunt comin for me. That fuckin orgasm belongs to me doesn’t it babygirl. Im givin it to you so I deserve to see it

[9:03 PM] Joel: So fuckin pretty babygirl got my cock so fuckin hard let me see that fucked pussy

[9:05 PM] You: [Video Attached]

[9:05 PM] Joel: Shit baby you are the filthiest thing I ever seen. Sound so sexy those little whimpers when u came fuck

[9:05 PM] Joel: Gonna make me cum all over my fist baby

[9:05 PM] Joel: Gonna pump this pussy full of my cum take this cock and this huge fuckin load up your cunt babygirl

[9:08 PM] Joel: [Video Attached]

[9:13 PM] You: Shit. That was. Fuck. 

[9:14 PM] Joel: Not so quick-witted when you’re fucked stupid are you LOL

[9:14 PM] You: Shut up…

[9:15 PM] You: Goddamn you sure know how to sext I’ll tell you that

[9:16 PM] Joel: As you said. Had some practice over the years. Wink. 

[9:16 PM] You: Oh god, do you not know how to use emojis to wink? 😂 

[9:16 PM] You: Dinosaur 😝 🦕🦖

[9:17 PM] Joel: Yeah, well, if this “dinosaur” ever gets ahold a you, you’re gonna be real sorry for pokin fun at him, little girl

[9:20 PM] You: Well since you mention it…

[9:20 PM] You: It’s possible I might be in Austin too 

[9:21 PM] Joel: I may have suspected. The area code n all 

[9:22 PM] You: Wouldn’t it be REAL embarrassing if I did end up actually being that guy you were looking for? 😝

[9:24 PM] Joel: Shit, if Doug looks as fine as you I wouldn’t give a good goddamn LOL 

[9:25 PM] Joel: I ain’t givin out any dick discounts though 😉

[9:25 PM] You: *gasp* you do know how to use emojis!

[9:26 PM] Joel: Quick learner 😉 Gotta be if I’m gonna be your daddy after all 😏

[9:30 PM] Joel: Well I’m mighty glad I texted the wrong number darlin 

[9:31 PM] You: Me too 😊 Maybe someday we can try this in person…

[9:34 PM] Joel: I’ll bring the snake

[9:35 PM] You: 😂😂😂

____

Part 2

Taglist Update: I have decided to decommission my taglist in favor of an updates blog! Please follow@atticrissfinchupdates and opt in for notifications to get notified when I post a new fic!

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#joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou #the last of us #katy wroted fic #daddy!joel miller

[sheikfangirl]

A page from my post-Botw Zelink comic. Each chapter covers key moments of my headcanon. I don't think my comic is super revolutionary in terms of story because there is so much fan content out there and im super classic and vanilla... but i dont care. I'm having fun creating my own take on what happened. This project is a time consuming blackhole and I draw it all out of order because I have no discipline whatsoever 😭 😂 It was originally just random black and white pages here and there with no cohesions, like my stand alone illustrations... but the illustrations became pages. The project is basically me fan-servicing my own self. 😂😂

Then it exploded, i've been adding color, cleaning up my panels, pimping the backgrounds.

I still unsure on which platform i will make it available to read. The friends who got my out of my shipping closet are screaming to me to print a fanzine, but i'm lazy hahaha. Might do a patreon eventually, idk.

Oh yeah, this is a panel from the chapter where Zelda and Link go back to Korok forest to put the Master Sword back in it's pedestal... I'm old, i played the old games. One of my BotW nitpics was that it didnt include the classic moment where the sword rests once again, like in ALttP and OoT. I like traditions okay!!!! Cheers!!!

#my art #zelink #breath of the wild #tears of the kingdom #legend of zelda #zelda fanart #loz fanart #zelda #botw link #btw Zelda and Link are not a couple YET in that page ho ho #mutual pining #slow burn #princess zelda #botw #korok #korok forest #botw korok #they are so in love #botw fanart #botw zelda #master sword #fan comic #zelda fancomic #They have to be physicaly close when teleporting because WHAT IF it doesnt work otherwise?! 😏 #It's the only way to be sure! #What do you think happens next? #It's actually super predictable lol #Koroks are Zelink shippers. I will die on that hill.

[mrfoox]

God bless this new young home help guy. He stood by the door to wait for me to open (its unlocked so they can just come in)

Then he said hello and immediately went to my kitchen and looked through my freezer to find food without saying anything

I mean it is on my schedule that we should cook food so I think he's right but it was funny that he just immediately went there and started looking without giving his name or any introduction

#miranda talking shit #Then after 5 min I couldn't take it i was like um.... All i had for you to do today was actually just clean the litter boxes im not hungry #/ill eat later. And he was holding a bag of potatoes like O: oh... Oh yeah okay! #Thank you little sir but today is an lazy day and ill probably heat an frozen pizza in an hour or something instead #I dont even know his name 😂 jonathan told me yesterday but i forgot what it was and he didnt give it to me now #I just know hes new and apparently like 19" #19yrs old so young. He wad very go get them attitude though so good on him? Unfortunately im just in bed today snoozing

[lassieposting]

Concept: ME2, told through Shepard's very active text chain with bestest best buddy Wrex after he leaves the Normandy post-ME1.

Like. Cerberus has a new omnitool for her aboard the SR2 and the first thing she does is try to contact him and Garrus. It takes a few days - and a few frustrating phone calls - to reactivate her old line and forward her messages and contacts and shit, but eventually they all ping her at once as the tool downloads them

10 November 2183

[10:46 GST] Urdnot Wrex: [11 missed calls]

[10:48 GST] Urdnot Wrex: pick up

[10:51 GST] Urdnot Wrex: answer me

[10:52 GST] Urdnot Wrex: alliancenewsnetwork.ex/breaking_news_ssv_normandy_shot_down_over_alchera

[10:53 GST] Urdnot Wrex: ur ok?

[12:01 GST] Urdnot Wrex: shepard?

[14:32 GST] Urdnot Wrex: SHEPARD???

10 November 2184

[8:51 GST] Urdnot Wrex: img_attachment_bottle_of_ryncol_very_blurry.jpg

[8:52 GST] Urdnot Wrex: cheers

[8:52 GST] Urdnot Wrex: fucking. pyjak

And she gets back in touch with him, explains what happened to her and why she was MIA for two years, has a bit of a quick cry maybe because she misses him and she's surrounded by Cerberus lifers and she just wants someone on board she can trust to have her back, and from then on Wrex has to get used to receiving weird contextless texts on a regular basis

Like

[9:17 TNT] Shepard: LOOK WHO I FOUND

[9:17 TNT] Shepard: img_attachment_garrus_asleep_in_medbay_post_surgery.png

[9:18 TNT] Shepard: Ignore all the bandages, his face fell off but we fixed it. You will not believe what he's been doing im going to kill him

[13:18 TNT] Shepard: video_attachment_garrus_fascinated_by_medbay_automatic_doors.mp4

[13:18 TNT] Shepard: Anaesthetic is wearing off...slowly...

And

[17:08 TNT] Shepard: img_attachment_urz_wearing_hotdog_costume.png

[17:08 TNT] Shepard: :)

[17:09 TNT] Urdnot Wrex: i gave u that thing to win u credits and ur just putting it in stupid outfits

[17:10 TNT] Shepard: img_attachment_urz_asleep_on_bed_with_plushie.png

[17:11 TNT] Shepard: yeah :) he baby

[17:13 TNT] Shepard: instagram.ex/urztherescuevarren

And

[22:31 TNT] Shepard: img_attachment_harbinger_assuming_direct_control.png

[22:31 TNT] Shepard: wHaT tHe FuCk WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

[22:47 TNT] Shepard: img_attachment_collector_corpses.png

[22:47 TNT] Shepard: nvm we good man these things UGLY

And of course, some go in the opposite direction.

[05:17 GST] Urdnot Wrex: so you finally did it eh

[05:25 GST] Shepard: Did what?

[05:29 GST] Urdnot Wrex: vakarian. about damn time

[05:41 GST] Shepard: oh my god 😂

[05:41 GST] Shepard: brb gonna go kill grunt

[05:42 GST] Urdnot Wrex: whatever a "step" dad is, he thinks hes getting one

Just. Shep and Wrex staying a big part of each others lives despite all the lightyears and star systems and backbreaking responsibility between them

#mass effect #mass effect headcanons #femshep #urdnot wrex

[landitolover]

𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖, in which they’ll always be in love ౨ৎ lando x fem!reader

TWITTER

1 Month Later ..

yourusername • 10 minutes ago

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landonorris • 10 minutes ago

seen by mclaren, carlossainz55, and 1,134,828 others

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

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yourusername te extraño cuando camino, cuando lloro, cuando río (I miss you when I walk, when I cry, when I laugh)

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user miss girl is NOT healing…..

→ user no fr like the luismi lyric ??

user lando 😭 still 😭 in 😭 her 😭 likes 😭 i 😭 can’t 😭 take 😭 it 😭 anymore 😭

user this breakup hurts more than mine 💔

user i genuinely thougjt they wwre gonna het married im cryign

Liked by landonorris

→ user HE LIKED MY COMMENT IM SO DONE

→ user SHUT UP OH MY GOD

→ user they definitely were gonna get married 🙁

→ user I don’t believe in love anymore.

lilymhe i’m making cookies for you bby

→ yourusername i love you so much

carlossainz55 the luis caption… get well soon yn

→ yourusername thank you 🥲

TWITTER

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yourusername

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yourusername hello!!! just wanted to say that i’m featured in an amazing song, ‘about you’ ! thank you for letting me be apart of it :)

tagged the1975

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user SHUTUP

user you can’t convince me that this song isnt abt lando

→ user NO FR

user hold on and hope that we’ll find our way back in the end 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

user im done im done

user what if i just ended it all rn

user I DIDDNT EVEN KNOW SHE COULD SING??

→ user she used to post stories of herself singing taylor songs to lando 🥲.

→ user ur lying.

→ user i wish i was.

user her parts were better than m*ttys imo

lilymhe your parts was amazing

→ yourusername thank you ☺️

charles_leclerc take me to the 1975 concert

→ yourusername will do, cha x

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yourusername 🥂

tagged landonorris

user they r still in love idc.

user she’s stronger than I am bc I could never hangout with my ex.

→ user right

user i wonder how awkward this was

user this post pains me

lilymhe girl THIS IS NOT U

→ yourusername 🥲

landonorris yum dinner

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landonorris

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landonorris fall isn’t the same without you, jiji misses you.

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user pls i cant do this

user STOP I FORGOT ABOUT JIJI.

→ user she’s the real child of divorce omg 😭😭

user does jiji stay with lando????

→ user I’d assume, he bought her

yourusername i miss you

This comment was deleted!

alex_albon can jiji have a playdate with my cats

→ landonorris you’ll have to check it with her mom

→ user STOP IT

→ user ‘her mom’ do u want me to start sobbing

→ user “do you think i have forgotten about you”

→ user idc 🤣🤣😂😂 (im crying)

carlossainz55 let’s go golfing mate, you’ve been in your house too much

→ landonorris maybe, we’ll see :)

TWITTER

౨ৎ hi guys.. this is just a re upload from my old blog coz i am working on something else (that’s taking forever)…. and uhm 😄 didn’t want to abandon u guys !! i will post something new hopefully soon 🤞🏼 baaaiii 🐻

#𓇼 landitolover #꩜ my writings #formula one #f1 #f1 fanfic #lando norris #female reader #smau #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader