#nsft funny

[free-use-autistic]

there’s smt about autism 4 autism silly, low pressure sex that I love

like yeah we’re both feeling good and ur dick is inside me, but ALSO community is on in the background and abed said something funny, so obviously we gotta repeat it and laugh a little while I grind more on you <33

feeling safe enough to unmask during sex is truly unparalleled ♡

#her dick is good but also like. mutual special interest show KSJFHSDKF #nsft t4t #me posting <3 #autistic nsft #disabled nsft #soft nsft #nsft concept #nsft funny #trans nsft

[guarddogdyke]

hi (with the intention of adding you to a lesbian polycule spanning all continents and timezones)

#wlw nsft #lesbian nsft #trans nsft #nblw nsft #nsft #nsft wlw #sapphic nsft #queer nsft #lgbt nsft #nsft concept #nsft funny #poly #polycule #lesbian poly

[elliekillsu]

Poetry is well and truly alive

#ask me stuff #lets be mutuals #trans goth #goth #lgbtqia #transfem #nsft funny #funny

[xxxhunnybunnyxxx]

Kinks are so funny like one day I will be Unable to cum unless i wrote a 20 page dissertation on the ghost of a werewolf that i tamed with my queer love sliding their monster cock into my holes in the middle of a Kmart, and other days I nut the second i think of a boob.

#like there's no in-between #either i am the worlds most basic bitch #or i need a movie-length fantasy #credits included #mlm nsft #ftm nsft #queer nsft #trans nsft #nsft concept #nsft #nsft funny #monsterfucking nsft

[fritolabia]

Oh my fav spot to kiss you?

#good head #going down #nsft #nsft funny #nsft meme #nsft concept

[a-wannabe-pretty-boy]

#t4t nsft #queer nsft #nsft funny

[thisusernamewascompromised]

"nooooo, I need to commit to no nut novemberrrrr it'll feel better if I doooooo" i bemoan, whilst having my second orgasm of the day

#raccoon•original #please read dni #no nut november #nsft funny #funny nsft

[t00thpastekissess]

me: I'd never let a man spit in my mouth that's nasty

Martin Compston:

me:

#martin compston #line of duty #the wee man #scottish actor #nsft funny #glasgow celtic #glasgow #scottish #steve arnott #bbc line of duty

[foldingfittedsheets]

Buckle up for another unhinged story time. Now, as I’ve said before, I used to work at a sex shop. At one point I had three roommates and we all worked the same dildo slinging retail job and lived together. It was extremely sitcom.

Now, as you’d imagine, living with three other people who also talked about sex toys all day created a microcosm of people who were all extremely comfortable around sex toys and related topics. No one left dirty toys laying around but seeing things left in showers or showing off a new purchase was just a Tuesday.

After some life upheavals I ended up living with one of those roommates again, just me and her. For the sake of this story let’s call her Betty. Betty and I shared a two bedroom, and the layout was all the common spaces were an open floor plan and then one hallway formed a T, with my room and bathroom to the left and Betty’s to the right.

Well, one day my cousin calls me up. He’s coming to town for a visit and I offer to put up him, his wife, and their more… sheltered friend. (Unbeknownst to me there was a full Briefing for this girl before she met me so that I didn’t overwhelm her with my blasé attitudes towards- well, most things).

They drove in from two states over and it was a long drive. I had to work and couldn’t greet them or spend the first day together. So I told them to come grab my key so they could all shower off and settle in before me.

I arrived home later that night and found the atmosphere a little awkward at first. Things quickly warmed up and I charmed their friend, impressing my cousin with my immaculate respect for personal comfort levels. We had a lovely evening. By the time we all said goodnight I’d dismissed the initial tension as being tired after a long drive.

The next day we all decided to go to the zoo. I’m a morning shower person, but I let them go first while I made breakfast. After breakfast it was my turn and I hopped in the shower.

Midway through my eyes fixed on it. A little pink sex toy, sitting brazenly on the rim of the tub. Oh no, I thought. This was why things had been awkward yesterday! I left out a personal object because I’d literally forgotten to ever put them away by that point.

What I felt wasn’t embarrassment per se, because that emotion had been utterly eradicated by that point. Rather it was a deep shame that I’d leave out something that might make a guest feel uncomfortable. They told me their friend was sheltered and I had left out a sex toy, it was the epitome of rudeness!

I rejoined everyone and said, “I am so sorry! I didn’t realize I’d left that in the shower, that was so rude of me!”

My guests all exchanged a Look. I looked from my cousin to his wife, she glanced toward their friend, and their friend looked at my cousin. No one would look at me.

“Well…” my cousin finally said, “you didn’t tell us which room was yours yesterday.”

I blinked in confusion, Betty’s room and bathroom were basically just like mine.

“When we got here,” his wife continued, “we went to the other side first. In Betty’s bathroom.”

Reader, Betty’s bathroom.

Had been absolutely covered in dildos. Sex toys of all shapes and sizes covered every flat surface, the tub rim, the sink, the shelves. Wall to wall sex toys. Apparently Betty was doing a spring cleaning and had left her entire extensive collection out to air dry.

These three weary travelers had opened a door to the dildo dimension and had no idea how to react. To this day I have no idea what context clues they used to figure out Betty’s room from mine.

But when I’d come home they were lost in the sex toy shell shock, presumably wondering how they could ever talk about it with someone who felt it was okay to leave out every sex toy they own when expecting company in some kind of bizarre power play.

By the time they finished telling me about this we were all laughing so hard we were in tears.

“When we saw your bathroom with one little pink toy it was so discreet we didn’t even care!” They told me.

After my cousin and his crew had gone on their way I finally told Betty the whole story. She listened with eyes growing wider and wider and finally burst out, “That’s why they were so weird when I got home!!”

#ramblies #funny #story #writing #nsft #ffs foibles

[schoolsuppliesslut]

you ever just have one coherent thought while trying to jack off then lose all steam? feels like i just fucking broke the fourth wall

#mine #anyway figured out why I like some micro/macro stuff but not all of it #its the object insertion #nsft #nsft funny #shitpost

[free-use-autistic]

ok the fact that I saw this while horny scrolling, didn’t think a Single thing about it, and had to scroll back up to realize it was an ad and not a post about forced petplay AHAHSHDJDJJFKS 😭😭💀💀

#is this what people mean by “tumblr brainrot’ LMFAO #nsft dom #me posting <3 #free use kink #nsft bunny #nsft funny

[guarddogdyke]

today on domme gear, sarah learns just how amazing it is to have two really hot girlfriends to all worship each other

#wlw nsft #lesbian nsft #trans nsft #nblw nsft #nsft #nsft wlw #sapphic nsft #queer nsft #lgbt nsft #nsft concept #soft nsft #nsft lesbian #nsft funny #t4t nsft

[girlbossgoodgirl]

Okay but the fact that no one has told me "Baby are you seaweed, because I just couldn't kelp myself!" Is also totally a cr1meeeee 😩

#nb nsft #nsft bi #queer nsft #nsft funny #bdsmlife #bd/sm humor #sicky kitty #sick but thicc #cnc k!nk #soft cnc

[ghourlly]

#trans issues #trans visibility #transgender #transition #transfem #trans nsft #transmasc #trans #funny #memes #shitpost

[ropedupbunny]

I ordered a dildo and it hasn’t come in the mail yet, but I had a dream that it did. The box said “funny dildo” (despite it claiming to be discreet) and inside was 3 or 4 long, skinny (like single finger thick), floppy dildos. What does that even mean does my subconscious think that’s how clowns masturbate or something?

#nsft funny #nsft

[vampire-hickeys]

wdym u don’t like missionary. we can kiss AND hold hands while fucking. do u even believe in love???

#this post is about queer sex #also i thought this was funny #t4t nsft #ftm nsft #mlm nsft #trans nsft #queer nsft #trans ns/fw