#nothing ever takes me weeks

[retcur]

Whatever you do, don’t panic!

#my art #I don’t know if you can tell but this took me WEEKS #nothing ever takes me weeks #but I liked the book so much I actually followed through #also why is bbc’s adaptation so full of heart and neons #h2g2 #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #thhgttg #arthur dent #ford prefect #digital art #digital painting #artist on tumblr #art

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

Fazbear Entertainment did not program him to deal with that

#me and my homies kicking amatonormativity and aphobes this week so what better way than with a silly immortal comic? #posting this instead of sleeping its currently 2 am and moon is coming for my ass #i regret nothing #Moon will not let Sun live that down ever. 100 years from now he will still be making fun of him for that #sun: i think this thing in this program is very neat #moon; bored: thank you so much for telling me! its an absolute honor being your friend :) #sun: thAT WAS ONE TIME #meanwhile perkeo is taking a nap in the back #immortal au #dca au #dca fandom #doodles #dca fnaf #dca sun #dca moon #oc #sunshine draws #immortal au art🎨

[bluespiritshonour]

here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff. #can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art? #anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable. #I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee! #if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

[awkwardlyflustered]

Best Babysitter Ever

A/N: I have been watching too much Criminal Minds recently, I just started it over for like the 5th time. I love the BAU so goddamn much, and I specifically love Reid (he’s just a lil guy) so y’all better get so ready for so much lee Reid in the upcoming weeks. For now though, Reid and Hotch interacting has my entire soul and being so here’s a quick little story for the two of them. 

“Hotch, I promise you everything will be okay, I read five parenting books on the way here just to prepare.”

“I know, I trust you’re gonna be fine, you’ve just never babysat by yourself before, and JJ was supposed to come over and help…” Hotch trailed off, unable to keep the overprotective dad side from surfacing. 

“We’ll be fine! I’m great with kids,” Reid continued to argue, “We’ll have so much fun, isn’t that right Jack?” Both men turned their eyes over to the small six year old playing with his trucks in the corner. Jack agreed enthusiastically and ran over to hug Spencer’s leg. 

“Alright, I’m sure you guys will be fine,” Hotch finally relented. “Reid, call me if you need anything at all, and Jack, be good for Spencer” Spencer gave a salute towards his boss as Jack ran to hug his dad goodbye. 

A few hours later, Hotch walked back into his house and was immediately greeted by the loud screams of laughter from Jack. Smiling, he made his way towards the two, not saying anything. 

“SPEHEHENCEHEHER!” Jack squealed as Reid’s fingers scribbled across his belly. 

“Spencer? Who’s Spencer, I’m the tickle monster!” The curly haired boy announced, scooping up the small kid’s wrists in one hand, and drilling into his underarms with the other. Jack kicked out and tried to squirm away from the intruding hands, finally noticing his dad standing over the two of them. 

“DAHAHAHAHD HEHEHEHELP!!” 

“You can scream all you want, no one can save you from the tickle monster!” Reid called out with a grin taking over his face as he turned to Hotch as a greeting. 

“You heard him Jack, I can’t save you, there’s nothing I can do.” Hotch had a soft grin taking over his face as well, though not quite as smug as Spencer’s. 

“PLEHEHEASE,” Jack whined out, obviously enjoying himself. 

“Hmm alright fine, I’ll do my best but no promises.” Hotch threw his coat that he had just taken off onto the couch and crouched down by the two of them. “Let’s see here…” he muttered out, taking a hold of Jack’s arms and pretending to pull as hard as he could. 

“You’re no match for my incredible strength!” Spencer continued in character, vibrating his fingers into Jack’s ribs causing a whole new round of laughter. 

“Hmm I have an idea,” Hotch thought aloud as he stalked towards Spencer. 

“You’ll never beat me! Jack will be mine forever,” the so-called tickle monster called out yet again, too busy with his charade to pay any attention to the older man getting closer and closer to him. Without warning, Hotch practically tackled Spencer and started digging into his ribs. Spencer squealed and kicked his feet, completely caught

off guard by the attack. Jack quickly stood up from his position on the floor cheering and encouraging the attack. 

“Well well well, looks like the tickle monster is ticklish.”

“Nohohoho” Reid giggled out, weakly swatting at the offending hands currently wracking his nerves. Hotch grabbed Spencer arms and held them above his head, waiting while Reid panted beneath him.

“Hey Jack, come here,” the father beckoned his son over, and started pointing along Reid’s torso. “You know if you poke him right here he makes a really silly noise.” Jack, excited he got to play too began poking his little fingers along Spencer’s tummy. With every poke Spencer gave a hiccupy squeal, that quickly advanced into hiccupy giggles when Hotch’s fingers found their way to his upper ribs. 

“Wahahahait guhuhuys,” he pleaded, being careful with his squirming to not hurt Jack. 

“This is only fair after you tickled Jack for so long, what do you think buddy?”

“Yeah! You did this to me, you deserve it!” Reid just squeezed his eyes shut, threw his head back, and gave into the ticklish sensations. 

The Hotchner duo continued their attack for a few more minutes, making sure to get thorough revenge on the tickle monster before letting him up. Spencer sat up panting, with slight tears in the corners of his eyes. 

“The tickle monster isn’t gonna forget this, you better watch out,” he teased Jack, reaching out to pinch his side. 

“My dad will rescue me every time!” Jack replied indignantly, clinging to his dad’s leg. 

“I absolutely will,” Hotch reassured, ruffling his son’s hair, “But until you need more rescuing, it looks like it’s time for bed. Go start getting ready.” With that, Jack starting running off to get ready for bed, but quickly back tracked to give a crashing hug to Reid.

“Goodnight Spencer, thank you for playing with me.”

“Of course kid,” Reid replied, hugging Jack tightly. “I had fun playing with you.”

“Are you gonna come back tomorrow?” Hotch interrupted the interaction before Reid could be put on the spot.

“No buddy, not tomorrow, but you’ll see Spencer again soon.” Jack just nodded and finally left the two to begin getting ready for bed. Spencer stood up from the floor to stand next to Hotch.

“So I take it the babysitting went well?” Hotch asked with a slight smirk. Spencer nodded happily.

“Yeah, Jack is great. We had a lot of fun together.”

“I could see that. Do you maybe want to come back next week to babysit some more?” Spencer nodded again, much more enthusiastically. “And I take it the tickle monster will be making another appearance?” Spencer blushed out to his ears at the mention of the silly character. 

“Maybe he will.”

“Well then it looks like I’ll have some more rescuing to do, won’t I?” Reid just smiled and looked down at the ground, too sheepish to continue meeting Hotch’s eye. Hotch smiled warmly, remembering just how young Reid actually is despite his age. He quickly pulled Reid in for a hug.

“Thank you again Spencer.” 

“You’re welcome, it was nice getting to feel like an older brother for a little while.” Spencer’s eyes widened and he pulled away from the hug as he realized what he just said. “Not like that I just meant-”

“You’re the best big brother Jack could ask for,” Hotch assured the genius, clapping him on the shoulder. Spencer smiled an almost cheshire grin as the pink tint returned once again to his cheeks. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” he called out, slinging his bag over his shoulder. 

“Yep, and I can’t wait to see the rest of the team and inform them of what a great babysitter the tickle monster is,” Hotch teased, a smirk taking over his features. Reid froze, his hand on the doorknob. 

“Hotch you can tell anyone and everyone you want, but don’t tell Morgan I’m ticklish, he’ll never let me live it down.”

“I don’t know, I think Morgan would really like to know…”

“Hotch!”

“Alright alright, I’ll keep it to myself, for now anyways.” Spencer breathed a quick sigh of relief and waved goodbye before leaving the house. 

Hotch smiled fondly, and pulled out his phone to text Derek. 

Tomorrow morning you should ask Reid how babysitting went. He has a really funny secret to tell you

“Technically, I’m not gonna tell him anything,” Hotch muttered to himself, smiling. “Plus what fun is having this information if I’m just gonna keep it to myself?” With that, he walked towards Jack’s room ready to tuck him into bed. His heart was full between his son and his work family, he couldn’t be any happier. 

#Criminal Minds #Lee!reid #Ler!Hotch #Spencer Reid #Aaron Hotchner #tickle fic #criminal mind tickle #criminal mind tickle fic #I'm back baby! #Was this a little cringey? Yeah obviously #But this idea has been stuck in my head for weeks #Also nothing puts Hotch in a playful #silly mood like being around Jack #As soon as he's around Jack the big scary BAU leader disappears #Also you cannot tell me that stirring up shit between reid and morgan is his favorite thing ever #Those two are his children #i take no criticism

[crazymecjc]

✨ justice ✨

persona 5 (spoiler!) shitpost below the cut!!

#persona #persona 5 #persona 4 #persona 3 #oof my art i guess #goro akechi #nanako dojima #ken amada #yes justice arcana slayyyy #in the first image akira is just off screen #oh speaking of which #akira kurusu #in my brain katsuya p2 is the manager of justice I just know nothing abt him so he is not in this drawing as of yet #this idea has been plaguing me for WEEKS and is by far the stupidest thing I’ve ever drawn #cars au included (affectionate) #I have another Cursed drawing in my brain that I may unleash upon the world soon but we’ll see #anyways take this it took me much longer than it should have by all accounts #it’s so fuckin late goodnight y’all #would like to note that this came about bc me and my partner are dead certain that every single persona character #is either a hot topic girlie or a justice girlie #and we have them all mapped out ahskjskskalsla #goro shops at justice purely bc the store is named justice

[oatbugs]

oh my god u rly are everyone you've ever loved !! for better or worse !! a part of you becomes them!

#i had a moment of lucidity idk im in this café the person i went on a few dates w is coming to see me i said come study w me #and they said okay immediately even though im a town over and i dont like them i really dont feel even a little attracted to them that way #but i did let them bite my neck a week ago and it still hurts i let them hold my hand i just #i never start anything #i let them kiss me. why do i do that? i dont feel anything towards them #and i told them ill probably never sleep with them and i thought thats enough but it really isnt is it #they write poetry about people they meet even once #theyre coming a whole town over to study w me but its not a date i feel nothing towards them romantically and i dont want to lose them as #a friend. this was her line of thinking wasnt it? i would take the train and meet her near her place in ldn and wed study together and #shed let me hold her and she would never initiate much and we were just studying together and it wasnt a date #like . fuck. i dont want to do what she djd to me to another person ever #their shared location map went offline at london bridge like ok theyre in the underground they are fr coming a whole town over #its a short distance but the point is i think i should have taken what my friend said more seriously . she told me i was kinda leading #them on bc what i thought to be just meetups dates might entail more for them #anyway im gonna be clear w them this time maybe #....IT JUST NEVER COMES UP IS THE THING #do i have to clarify even if it never comes up #i do in fact hear myself #ok #the parallels r lining up #aaa

[bulbabutt]

no offence to people who genuinely enjoyed james somerton and feel cheated but you could kind of tell he didnt give a shit about anything he ever said. there was no passion or personable anecdotes in anything he ever made, and the fact he was constantly posting videos was crazy. like if you watch your more popular video essayists theyre always coming from a point of 1) education in a field 2) passion in a subject and 3) being open about themselves

like , this man hopped on the video essay train because of the popularity of his peers and just tokened himself into "the gay video essayist" as if so many other people werent already doing that? and the lack of care for intersectionality was obvious. i stopped ever watching him after he took it personally that some marvel show was about black exploitation in america and not about two men kissing each other, cuz it became abundantly clear that was the only experience he gave a shit about (his own)

#idk im GENUINELY not trying to be rude im just saying be sus of people who dont put themselves in their work #like i remember lindsay ellis and dan olsen talking about their film school experience and then you look at their work and its like oh yeah #i see how this is their work because they know what theyre talking about and they enjoy it #and you can look at like quinton reviews or jenny nicholson deep diving into media for hours and its like theyre taking you on a journey #and you feel like youre watching them go crazy but steering the ship in a way only they can #or theres people like princess weekes who bring up their own experiences watching queer media and where they were at the time #she once was like “yeah i made i kissed a girl amv disney crossovers” LEADING ME TO REALIZE ID SEEN SAID VIDEOS 15 YRS AGO............ #cuz i was subbed to her and she introduced me to all the things she said and we have a mutual queer experience from that kinda source lmao #anyway you can tell these people put themselves in their work! #and when it came to james that was just never there because nothing he ever said WAS his own experience #it was always money to him not passion or experience or community #idk this might be a nothing post but ive been thinking about it since watching the hbomb video

[kakunamatatq]

First five minutes of episode 9 in a nutshell

#Spy x Family #SxF #SPY×FAMILY #SPY × FAMILY #S×F #Yuri Briar #Yor Forger #Yor Briar #TwiYor #LoidYor #Loid Forger #SxF Twilight #OJST Meme #I binged this series in November 2021 #and just a few weeks later they announced the anime and this was the scene I was looking forward to seeing animated the most in cour no.1 #nothing short of amazing #Yuri ''Yes I'm going to force my sister to kiss this man who I absolutely despise for taking her away from me this is a great plan'' Briar #2.5 seconds later: This is‚ without exaggeration‚ the worst thing that could ever happen 𝙔𝙊𝙍 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋!! #i tried to use the original speech bubbles as they were but ended up needing to tinker with them a bit #also i feel like this goes w/o saying but this isn't br!arcest Yuri doesn't actually want to get with Yor #he just wants Loid and Anya to go away so he can still hold onto the closeness he had with Yor during their childhood #but he has to work through his complex and grow up a lot first #as always if someone has already drawn a proper version of this meme instead of making bad edits in gimp lemme know

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again. #sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all. #imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs! #so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately. #but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when. #like. imagine that. jesus dude. #like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here. #but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent

#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little #bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the #very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the #house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks #Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a #gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a #treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of #color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration #like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a #auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies #so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk #and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver #but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and #sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an #active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have #been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start #to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've #done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!' #(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks #with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm #secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool #stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers #me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or #it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for #too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been #investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely #enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed #google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj #LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!

[luyo-mi]

Hey, it’s been a while since you last posted, just wanted to check in, are you alright?

I got ✨hospitalized✨ tehe

#And THEN LITERALLY THE DAY AFTER I COME HOME SOMEONE VANDALIZED MY HOUSEEE #ITS BEEN A COUPLE OF FUCK ALL WEEKS #my luck is the worst there is #it just like that time when the one and only day I dont wear a mask #i get covid and sent to the ER #i was covid free for like 4 years too #never taking off my mask ever again #i couldnt even walk omg #I couldnt taste anything either #and that was even worse lets be honest #no feeling in my legs? meh #no TASTEBUDS? Just send me to hell already #Im totally okay now though #im comfy in my bed and blanket and ready to draw again 💪 #nothing can kill me except myself💪💪 #omg youre literally the sweetest person ive ever met 😭🩷 #lemme give u some smooches #mwah mwah 😘 #thelegendaryfluffypotato13🩷🎀

[killmymind]

i don’t think i’ve ever felt this lost in my life. tbh

#feeling sad? sure. hopeless? been there done that. anxious as hell? at least once a week. but lost? no. not really #and that’s really fucking scary because i’m not familiar with it and i just don’t know how to deal with it #i can’t stop thinking that i’m running out of time because i’m 25 and i don’t think i can afford feeling this way #taking a break from uni sounds good in theory but in reality? again. i’m 25. i need to at least achieve one thing in my life holy shit #it’s SO hard to see the good even when it’s right in front of me or someone points it out. like having a job or studying or getting to #travel or even just having friends ARE achievements but i always want More More and More i am addicted to wanting more cause it feels like #nothing i do is ever enough. and now i’m adding feeling lost because i’m finally acknowledging the fact that i don’t know what i want to do #with what i’m studying or how to get a different job in the future when i almost have no experience and everything is just so frustrating #because i simply don’t fucking know. i just don’t. i can’t afford not knowing!! everything is so messy rn you would think i’d be thriving #after seeing louis and meeting aria and traveling to germany and i am genuinely so happy those things happened but fuck man there is always #the Bigger Thing taking over and it makes me feel like an ungrateful brat i just don’t fucking know man. maybe i am an ungrateful brat #but it’s just so hard to be happy when you’re feeling so lost with everything in your life and yourself #anyway i just. needed to let that out #negative #effie talks to the moon

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao

Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet

#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff #roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao #taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see #could be funny! #but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really #it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway #ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it #the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work #an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy #no thank you to that I think! #I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast #hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun #I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone #so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :( #but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post. #I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one #again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man #askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic! #highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!! #ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)' #just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles #'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.' #ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny! #random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why #maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf #pop rox talks

[softshuji]

Sometimes it feels like my mom punishes me for things I can't control and it's actually kinda really upsetting.

#i fell asleep yesterday after work as i mentioned before and that means i wasn't able to wash up after dinner #she said to me today that if i fell asleeo again before dinner she'd be pissed off at me #and usually a comment like that wouldn't bother me #but I'm the only one working full time/ with two jobs in my house #especially when my brothers don't do anything around the house #even though they don't have jobs/ do anything full time. and yet the responsibility of housekeeping is always left to me #even if I'm tired. The reason i can't fo to sleep early ia because cleaning the downstairs before i go takes a while #ofc it would when you have a family of 9 and you're the only person doing it #she never asks them either #and then she gets upset at me if like yesterday i don't do these things #and it's like #everyone keeps telling me fo stop treating myself as a machine #but it's kinda hard when everyone else does the same #today/ this week when work has been really tough and im struggling already because im having a hard time #it's the last thing you wanna hear that someone's upset at you for doing something that could have been shared between others #i don't know it just feels like a sledgehammer fo the chest every time #i just feel I'm constantly disappointing someone because im not able to do what they say #ans no matter how much i say it's unfair nothing ever changes.

[girlscience]

the RAMPANT consumerism on the section of youtube I have ended up on recently is actually kind of disgusting to me. if I see one more video of a perfectly manicured hand with a hint of a sweater sleeve putting things in a target cart or using 100 bottles for a skin and hair self-care day or using 50 different cleaning products in an enormous, pristine, white home while a random pop song remix plays in the background I'm going to start destroying things.

#I know exactly how I got here #there is a specific crossover of decluttering/production hacks/workout plans/minimalism/motivational videos that leads directly #to very wealthy stay-at-home women doing sunday resets and target hauls and restocking and organizing the guest bedroom #and 4 hour pre-vacation self-care videos #but it is so BAD. I am not saying don't buy things or take care of yourself or anything like that #I literally have mentioned several times in the past two weeks that I was waiting on packages in the mail! #but GOD. the difference between buying a set of dvds I'm going to use until they fall apart #and literally having 4 bookcases of skin care products is ASTRONOMICAL #I cannot imagine a single reason anyone would ever need that much stuff #and it's All so sanitized and perfected and nothing can be out of place and it's just awful #that girl aesthetic/it girl/clean girl aesthetic/etc etc #and every single woman in these videos is perfectly shaped and tanned and hair done up #and they all wear these matching set workout fits #just oh my god girl!!!!!! what are you doing????!!!!!?? #I don't know. I don't know that there's a point to this besides me complaining and being upset #but it's just so antithetical to the way I want to live and I know it's so bad for the environment #and I know it is encouraging so many people to look and act just like that #and I hate it!!!! it feels like we are never getting out sometimes for real #maybe I'm being mean. maybe they are actually very conscientious of the environment #and maybe they are only showing a once a month shopping trip #and maybe they have just been sent a ton of PR packages that they have to figure out how to store #but. it really doesn't feel or look that way

[fleshdyke]

you guys remember that time my dad killed my pet and then blamed me for it lol

#i still miss jpeg so fucking much #i remember for weeks after he died i would turn on his light in the morning and forget that he wasn’t there to greet me and it was so awful #remembering he was dead every single morning #and every few days i would put a little plant food in the tank and it was such a fucking gut punch every time #bc the cycle was disrupted now. nothing was working like how it was supposed to bc he wasn’t there anymore. those plants that lived off him #for months were the only thing i had left of him #and he told me at one point after he died ‘next time you get a betta you have to take care of it’ like FUCK YOU I DID! I FUCKING DID! #i cycled the tank and i fed him and i kept tabs on the water levels and i did all his water changes and i told my dad when he started #getting sick bc i wasn’t able to get medicine myself! and he tried to fucking gaslight me into believing that i was delusional! #bc he didn’t want to admit that he was wrong! and he refused to fucking do anything about it to the point where i was scrambling for people #i knew who could drive to take me to the fish store and get medicine #and then he fucking died! he died when i was at school and my dad just flushed him down the toilet #and he told me in the most insensitive way possible #and he tried going ‘im sorry i didnt listen to you’ or whatever like sorry’s not going to fucking cut it you killed my fucking pet #and then he went right back to blaming me for it #and then after he died my brother told me that he’d asked my dad about jpeg one time and he SAID that he was pretty much a goner #he fucking KNEW he was dying and still refused to do anythign??? for what fucking reason? bc he couldn’t admit he was ever wrong? bc he #wanted to watch me suffer? #and then for weeks i was taking care of an empty tank #bc the plants in his tank were the only thing left of him #and i couldn’t let them just sit and wither away bc that’s what i did with jpeg and i couldn’t just watch him die again #and then i moved his plants into the other 40gal and i had to look at the way the other fish ignored jpeg’s favourite anubias #and i had to take down his tank and wash all the rocks and driftwood and pack it all back up and then he was gone for real #jpeg was the first thing i was really proud of and my dad had to fucking take it from me #rambles #vent #pet death