(A little WIP Wednesday (On A Thursday) because moments after completing AOTD for the first time I launched into an intense in-depth Skwisgaar character study, Obviously.)
“I know what’cher doin’.”
“De works of t’ree men? Ja, what else ams new, cans we fockus?” He pushes Nathan’s reading glasses up the slope of his nose and into his hair. “Dere’s somet’ings abouts dis chords progression dat’s not gelling for mes…”
Skwisgaar glances up. Pickles has pivoted to face away from his kit, hunched over, forearms resting on his thighs. His Rock Talk pose. Goddamnit.
“Whats.”
“Yer checkin’ in on everybahdy.” He flicks his wrist in the space between them. “Dis is a check-in.”
“De songs gots to gets done, does it nots?” He dodges. Pickles doesn’t buy it. He rises, idly scratching the side of his neck with the end of his drumstick.
“Sure,” he drawls, ambling over to where Skwisgaar is cross-legged on the ground. “Butcha saught me out t’work on th’sahng right after Nathan screamed at me t’go fuck myself.”
“Did dat happens?” Skwisgaar shoots for airy innocence and misses by a mile.
Pickles plops down in front of him. “I’m just sayin’ yer timin’s nyeeeehhhhhhhh a l’il suspect.”
“Mine timings am imppecables,” he snaps. “Ams always where I needs to bes.”
Pickles’s mouth stretches in that stupid, sideways, Cheshire Cat-like grin, polishing his front teeth his tongue—FUCK Skwisgaar walked right into that one.
“Musickallys,” he adds, pathetically.
“Dood, y’wanna talk about naht new? Dis is naht new. You actin’ all—”
He extends his arms out to full length and tips back, dropping his voice and crossing his eyes.
“YYYYYUUUUUUEEEEEGHHHHHHHH Gets Away From Mes I Hates You Peoples while sneakin’ around makin’ sure all’a us are okey? Y’think I don’ notice dat?”
“I t’inks de lack of access to drugs ams giving you brain damage.”
“Y’might be able t’fool dese other dooshbeegs, but y’ceen’t fool me. I’ve had ya klocked—and I’m sayin’ clock wit’ a k, t’be clear—since ya braught det Norwegian riff-raff into our lives.”
“When dids you becomes de type of guys what say riff-raff?”
“I see ya, Skwis. I’ve always seen ya.”
“Ooooooh does yous?” There was a time where the one-two punch of his withering tone and devastating eye roll would reduce a man to ash. But it’s been a rough few years. He’s gotten soft. His roller shoulders and rapid-fire arpeggios betray him. “And whats eggs-acktly ams you seeing wif dem beady littles badger eyes?”
The toe of Pickles sneaker brushes Skwisgaar’s ankle and he fights off a flinch.
“Dat despite yer best efforts.” His voice is too familiar, too fond. He scooches closer. “Yer a good guy, Skwigelf.”
Skwisgaar scoffs. The metal strings sting against his callouses, blood pooling hot in the ends of his fingers, and something must be wrong with his hookup because there’s a high pitch whine in his ears and a buzz in his chest and they need to finish the song the song’s not done they need to get it done—
“Skwisgaar.”
The pinch of Pickles’s thumb and forefinger on Skwisgaar’s jaw shocks a gasp out of him, the guitar clattering to the ground with a CLANG. Skwisgaar’s jolts, involuntary, but Pickles’s hold is firm.
“Look at me.” His voice is level, his gaze bright and a little watery, pinning him to the spot. “You are good, Skwisgaar.”
And, well.
He doesn’t know why this, out of everything, is what gets him. He’s been more than a little unnerved by the Pickles is Band Mom thing, mostly because he already has a mom and he actually likes Pickles, but here is his friend, at the end of the world, saying the words he has always, always wanted to hear, and the gossamer bubble of emotion that’s been swelling against his ribs these last few months, at last, bursts.
Distantly he hears his breath hitch, feels tears stream down his cheeks. He’s an embarrassingly ugly crier so when so when he’s crushed into Pickles’s chest, when he inhales that familiar scent of hair wax and old weed and something uniquely Pickles (how does he smell wet he always smells wet) he curls his arms around his waist and sobs.
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Who are the hostages still held by Hamas?
On October 7, 2023, 253 Israelis and foreign nationals were kidnapped to Gaza by Hamas and gazan civilians. Since then, 105 were released in a prisioner exchange deal, 4 were released by Hamas and 3 were rescued.
However, 134 remain in captivity (4 of those were kidnapped prior to 2023). A recent investigation has concluded that more than a fifth of the hostages are dead and the fate of some other hostages remains unknown. This video explains how doctors determine which hostages are dead, based on the nature of their injury and by analyising footage and the victims' last phone calls. Additionally, during the operation in Gaza, the IDF has recovered the bodies of a few victims and returned to their families for burial.
Since I couldn't find this all in one place, I've compiled a list of: 1) hostages who are presumed alive; 2) hostaged whose death has been reported/confirmed; 3) hostages who were released or rescued. In the group of hostages presumed to be alive who haven't been released, the youngest is 1-year-old Kfir Bibas and the oldest hostage is Iraqi-born 85-year old Shlomo Mansour.
As we learn more information, I'll continue to update this post.
They need to come back home. I'm hoping for more successful rescue operations soon. Keep them in your thoughts.
Hostages still held by Hamas (presumed alive or fate unknown):
(1) (2) (3)
Abraham Eitan Mor (23)
Abraham Munder (79)
Agam Berger (19)
Alex Danzig (75)
Alexander (Sasha) Trupanob (28)
Alexander Lobanov (32)
Almog Meir Jan (21)
Almog Sarusi (26)
Alon Ohel (22)
Amiram Cooper (85)
Andrey Kozlov (27)
Arbel Yehoud (28)
Ariel Bibas (4)
Ariel Cunio (26)
Avera Mengistu (37) – Has been held hostage since 2014
Avinathan Or (30)
Bar Kupershtein (22)
Bipin Joshi (23)
Carmel Gat (39)
Chaim Peri (79)
Daniel Gilboa (19)
David Cunio (33)
Dolev Yehoud (35)
Doron Steinbrecher (30)
Edan Alexander (20)
Eden Yerushalmi (24)
Eitan Horn (37)
Eli Sharabi (51)
Eliya Cohen (26)
Elkana Bohbot (34)
Evytar David (23)
Gadi Moses (79)
Gali Berman (26)
Guy Gilboa-Dalal (22)
Hamzah Al-Zayadni (22)
Hersh Goldberg Polin (23)
Hisham al-Sayed (35) - Has been held hostage since 2015
Yair Horn (45)
Idan Shivi (28)
Itzhk Elgarat (68)
Kaid Farhan Elkadi (53)
Karina Ariev (19)
Kfir Bibas (1)
Liri Albag (18)
Matan Angrest (21)
Matan Zangauker (24)
Maxim Herkin (35)
Muhammed Alatrash (40)
Naama Levy (19)
Nadav Popplewell (51)
Nimrod Cohen (19)
Noa Argamani (26)
Oded Lifshitz (83)
Ofer Kalderon (53)
Ohad Ben Ami (55)
Ohad Yahalomi (49)
Omer Neutra (22)
Omer Shem Tov (21)
Omer Wenkert (22)
Omri Miran (46)
Or Levy (33)
Ori Danino (24)
Rom Braslavski (19)
Romi Gonen (23)
Sagui Dekel-Chen (35)
Samuel Keith Siegel (64)
Segev Kalfon (25)
Shiri Bibas (32)
Shlomi Ziv (40)
Shlomo Mansour (85)
Tal Shoham (38)
Tamir Nimrod (19)
Tsachi Idan (51)
Yagev Buchshtab (34)
Yagev Kirsht (34)
Yarden Bibas (34)
Yoram Metzger (80)
Yosef Al-Zayadni (53)
Yosef Ohana (23)
Ziv Berman (26)
Hostages confirmed/reported dead:
(Note: I couldn't find a report with the full list, but if you google each individual name you can find sources.)
Alon Shamriz (26) – Mistakenly killed by the IDF
Amit Buskila (28) - Likely killed on Oct. 7. Body recovered on 17/05/24.
Arye Zalmanovich (85) - Death reported by Hamas. He was forced to appear in a propaganda video.
Asaf Hamami (41)
Aviv Atzili (49)
Daniel Oz (19) - Killed on Oct. 7. Status updated on 25/02/24
Daniel Perez (22) - Killed on Oct. 7. Status updated on 17/03/24
Dror Kaplun (68)
Dror Or (48) - Killed on Oct. 7. Status updated on 02/05/24.
Eden Zecharya (28)
Eitan Levy (53)
Elad Katzir (47) - Murdered by the Palestinian Islamic Jihad. His body was recovered in Khan Yunis. Status updated on 06/04/24.
Eliyahu Margalit (75)
Elyakim Libman (23) - Killed on Oct. 7. It was presumed he was a hostage because his body wasn't found, but it was later discovered his remains were accidentally buried with another victim. Status updated on 03/05/24.
Gad Haggai (73)
Guy Iluz (26)
Hadar Goldin (32) - Body held hostage since 2014
Hanan Yablonka (42) - Killed on Oct. 7. Body recovered on 24/05/24.
Ilan Weiss (56)
Inbar Haiman (27)
Itay Chen (19) - Killed on Oct. 7. Status updated on 12/03/24.
Itay Svirsky (35) – Killed by Hamas in captivity. His body was shown in a propaganda video
Itzik Gelenter (58) - Likely killed on Oct. 7. Body recovered on 17/05/24.
Joshua Loitu Mollel (21) – A released video shows how he was brutally murdered by a group of men on October 7
Judy Weinstein (70)
Kiril Brodski (19)
Lior Rudaeff (61) - Killed on Oct. 7. His body was taken to Gaza. Status updated on 07/05/24.
Maya Goren (56)
Mordechai Yonathan Samerano (21) - Killed on Oct. 7. His body was taken to Gaza.
Nik Beizer (19)
Noa Marciano (19) – Her body was found near the Al-Shifa hospital
Michel Nisenbaum (59) - Killed on Oct. 7. Body recovered on 24/05/24.
Ofir Tzarfati (27)
Ofra Keider (70)
Oren Goldin (34)
Orión Hernandez (30) - Killed on Oct. 7. Body recovered on 24/05/24.
Oron Shaul (30) – Body held hostage since 2014
Ran Gvlli (24)
Ravid Katz (41)
Ron Benjamin (53) - Killed on Oct. 7 and his body was taken to Gaza. Body recovered on 18/05/24.
Ron Scherman (19)
Ronen Engel (54)
Sahar Baruch (24) – Killed by Hamas during a failed hostage rescue operation
Samer Talalka (22) – Mistakenly killed by the IDF
Shay Levinson (19)
Shani Louk (22) - Body taken to Gaza. Her body was recovered on 17/05/24.
Sonthaya Oakkharasr - Killed on Oct. 7. Body taken to Gaza. Status updated on 16/05/24.
Sudthisak Rinthalak - Killed on Oct. 7. Body taken to Gaza. Status updated on 16/05/24.
Tal Chaim (42)
Tamir Adar (38)
Tomer Ahimas (20)
Uriel Baruch (35) - Status updated on 26/03/24
Yair Yaakov (59) – Killed on Oct. 7. Sons and girlfriend were released. Status updated on 15/02/24.
Yehudit Weiss (65) – Her body was found near the Al-Shifa hospital
Yossi Sharabi (53) – His dead body was shown in a propaganda video
Yotam Haim – Mistakenly killed by the IDF
Ziv Dado (36)
Released/rescued hostages:
(1) (2)
Abigail Edan, 4, American citizen
Ada Sagi, 75
Adi Shoham, 38
Adina Moshe, 72
Agam Goldstein-Almog, 17
Aisha Ziyadne, 17
Alma Avraham, 84
Alma Or, 13
Amit Shani, 15
Amit Soussana, 40
Anucha Angkaew
Aviv Asher, 2, German citizen
Aviva Adrienne Siegel, 62
Bancha Kongmanee, Thai national
Bilal Ziyadne, 18
Boonthom Phankhong, Thai national
Buddee Saengboon, Thai national
Chalermchai Sangkaew
Channa Peri, 79
Chen Goldstein-Almog, 48
Clara Marman, 63, Argentine citizen
Daniel Aloni, 44
Dafna Elyakim, 15
Doron Katz Asher, 34, German citizen
Ditza Heiman, 84
Emilia Aloni, 5
Emily Toni Kornberg Hand, 8
Emma Cunio, 3, Argentine citizen
Erez Calderon, 12, French citizen
Eitan Yahalomi, 12, French citizen
Ela Elyakim, 8
Fernando Marman – Rescued by the IDF
Gabriela Leimberg, 59, Argentine citizen
Gal Goldstein-Almog, 11
Gal Tarshansky, 13
Gelienor (Jimmy) Pacheco, 37, Filipino national
Hagar Brodetz, 40
Hanna Katzir, 77
Hila Rotem Shoshani, 12
Ilana Gritzewsky Kimchi, 30
Irena Tati, 73, a Russian citizen, was included on the list but released separately from the exchange deal.
Itay Regev Jerbi, 18
Juckapan Sikena
Judith Raanan, 59 [Released 22/10/23]
Karina Engel-Bart, 51, Argentine citizen
Keren Munder, 54
Komkrit Chombua
Kong Saelao
Liam Or, 18
Liat Beinin Atzili, 49, American citizen
Luis Har – Rescued by the IDF
Manee Jirachart
Margalit Mozes, 78, German citizen
Maya Regev Jirbi, 21
Meirav Tal, 53
Mia Leimberg, 17, Argentine citizen
Mia Shem, 21, French citizen
Mika Engel, 18, Argentine citizen
Mongkhol Phajuabboon, Thai national
Moran Stela Yanai, 40
Natalie Raanan, 17 [Released 22/10/23]
Nattaporn Onkaew
Natthawaree Moonkan, Thai national
Naveh Shoham, 8
Nili Margalit, 41
Noam Avigdori, 12
Noga Weiss, 18
Noam Or, 17
Noralin Babadilla, 60, born in the Philippines
Nurit Cooper [Released 24/10/23]
Ofri Brodetz, 10
Ohad Munder, 9
Or Yaakov, 16, German citizen
Ori Megidish – Rescued by the IDF
Oriya Brodetz, 4
Owat Suriyasri, 40, father of two
Ofelia Adit Roitman, 77, born in Argentina
Ofir Engel, 17, Dutch citizen
Paiboon Rattanin
Pattanayut Tonsakree
Phonsawan Pinakalo
Ra’aya Rotem, 54
Raz Ben-Ami, 56, German citizen
Rimon Kirsht Buchshtav, 36
Raz Asher, 4, German citizen
Ron Krivoi, 25, an Israeli-Russian citizen, was included on the list, although he was released separately from the exchange deal.
Ruth Munder, 78
Sahar Calderon, 16, French citizen
Santi Boonphrom, Thai national
Sapir Cohen, 29
Shani Goren, 29
Sharon Aloni-Cunio, 34, Argentine citizen
Sharon Hertzman Avigdori, 52
Shiri Weiss, 53
Shoshan Haran, 67
Surin Kesungnoen
Tal Goldstein-Almog, 8
Tamar Metzger, 78
Uthai Sangnuan, Thai national
Uthai Thunsri, Thai national
Wichai Kalapat, 28, Thai national
Wichian Temthon
Withoon Phumee, 33, Thai national
Yaffa Adar, 85
Yagil Yaakov, 12, German citizen
Yahel Shoham, 3
Yarden Roman-Gat, 35, German citizen
Yelena Trupanov, 50, a Russian citizen, was included on the list but released separately from the exchange deal.
Yocheved Lifshitz [Released 24/10/23]
Yuli Cunio, 3, Argentine citizen
Yuval Brodetz, 8
Yuval Engel, 12, Argentine citizen
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So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but it’s really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:
Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasn’t lazy and just ignoring “consequences” because (imo) that was the *point*
The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.
To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.
If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)…then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.
The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders alone…you, alone, should not have to fix everything…you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.
This turned into a really long ramble so:
You (Link) gained so much and now it’s gone. It feels like you’re back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all again…you were weak and you failed and you’re weaker now…but
You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but it’s not just you…
You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudo…just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. It’s nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you weren’t prepared for. You’re still weaker than you were before, but someone has your back…
When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. There’s something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.
You go down to the depths too. It’s terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the dark….but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).
There are spirits down there. You don’t know when they’re from, but some part of you wonders…are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).
There’s so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what you’ve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, there’s another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head says…you know this isn’t all on you and your failure…it’s really Ganon’s fault right?). You get through it.
At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.
At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but she’s safe. She’ll come back somehow…but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldn’t do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. She’s been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, there’s a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. It’s what saved the world before, after all).
She did it. She really did it. She’s gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and it’s all your fault. If only you hadn’t failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only you’d caught her. If only you hadn’t let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better it’s all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.
(Zelda POV: you couldn’t call upon Hylia’s power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldn’t have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, it’s your fault…Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back time…but you don’t save her. She dies because you couldn’t save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didn’t work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. You’ve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. It’ll work this time too.)
You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didn’t. It’s nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.
They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. They’ll have your back, even if you don’t think you deserve it.
You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think it’s over and then the demon king decides it’s better to lose himself completely than let you win. You’re exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when you’re falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if there’s still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.
And then you’re in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.
And then you’re falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. She’s back home with you, finally, finally.
And maybe, one mistake doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and it’ll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).
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