#not exactly holding my breath for this oneee

[beeeskneeess]

pac: what do you need to hear right now 🐚

if you are new to pick a pile readings, just take a deep breath and ground yourself and energy, then pick which pile you feel drawn to.

Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t because this is a collective reading

I use intuition and my tarot deck

DISCLAIMER: this is for entertainment purposes only. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Pile 1

Cards: page of pentacles, the high priestess rx, the 2 of swords rx, 6 of pentacles in rx, 6 of swords in rx, 9 of wands rx, page of wands

Back of the deck: Ace of wands

Random: 1010, plague mask, captains hat, the brothers sun // charles sun, (the netflix show with michelle yeoh[so good]), a guy sleeping, 

Songs:

invisible war - sitti

arthur’s theme (best that you can do) - christopher cross

Hallu pile oneee!!

I have no idea if i’ve just been watching too much netflix, but what first came into my mind was bruce sun from brothers sun. It’s a TV show on netflix. He’s always a reminder to stay soft and use your words. A strong message of don’t let the world harden you just because you are hurt. Don’t hurt others just because they hurt you. Stay soft, but stand your ground. Don’t lose yourself because of other things that are outside your control and influence. Clear things that don’t make you, you. The main message really is don’t lose yourself despite the circumstances you are in. Despite all the hurt, the expectations of others, the opinions of others or whatever you’ve been through, don’t lose yourself. Don’t forget who you are and what you’re capable of. 

Overall, nurture yourself and your inner fire. Let it burn. Nurture the fire within you. The fire that makes you, you. Not the fire that others have lit for you. What makes you passionate about the things you like doing? What do you like doping? What makes you happy? Start over again if you have to. It’s never too late for second chances.  Find that spark again and let it flourish. Don’t compare where you are to where others are. You are exactly where you are meant to be, even if it means starting all over again. You are never too young or too old to start doing that thing you want.

To do this, set strong foundations for yourself. Be committed and continuously put small efforts that lead towards your success. A small step is bigger than no step at all. And even if you can’t see what’s ahead of you, follow your heart, follow your intuition. Listen to yourself and not your ego of what should be and what could be. Listen to what you want. Don’t doubt yourself.Let go of anything that is really holding you back, like what i’ve mentioned. You have to let go of the expectations of others, the hurt, the opinions of others. And though it is valid, everything you’ve been through is valid, you have to let go. You have to move forward and look to the future.  And despite the challenges you might encounter, stay committed. Do the best that you can do with what you have. Rest, but never give up. Don’t beat yourself up too much, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Just have fun with it. It’s a very privileged saying however, life is too short to take it too seriously. I guess realistically just have a balance of fun and seriousness. Also, ask for help if you are having a hard time. You don’t have to go through things alone. Just continue to stand your ground. Don’t be swayed by others, let yourself flourish. Stand in your power. Guard your passions. And find small things to fall in love with this passion as you go along your way. And fall deeply in love with it. Romanticize it. Because in the end, you’ll find yourself. As an undying fan of percy jackson books and series, “hold fast. Brave the storm.”

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees

If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄‍♀️

Pile 2

Cards: the empress, queen of swords, 3 of swords, 8 of wands, 9 of pentacles rx

The back of the deck: the wheel

Random: Walking away with a peace sign, trust, saddle, 222, I keep yawning and I feel heavy, daydreaming, sledding,1515

Song: I couldn’t stick with one, nothing really stuck i think it’s because nothing feels right or worthwhile. Maybe what is needed is silence for a bit to come back to yourself. 

Helloo pile 2! Whats upp?

I think overall, have you been pushing yourselves too hard :’) Please if you have to rest and get some sleep. You’re probably wondering when you’ll stop being tired (?) but, you’ve never even caught a breath yet to reflect on everything that has happened to far. You haven’t really felt your emotions in a long time. I feel like you got to listen to what you’re feeling especially if it’s fatigue. It’s time to take it a little bit slower. You’ve been going to fast, and maybe feel like you have to go really fast. I feel like I’m just lying on my bed ready to sleep. I think you should too. Even my brain isn’t working too well right now. I feel really tired as well. 

Overall, you need to trust a little. There’s a lot of doubt and the feeling of needing to explain yourself, but no need. Just do things because you want to. Especially if you need to take a break. Just sleep for a while. I feel like you’ve done all you could, now its time to leave it up to fate or the universe or any higher power you believe in. Let it go. Trust the process. You don’t have to be in control of every little detail. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out because maybe there’s something better for you out there. Give some time for yourself, don’t be too hyper focused on one single thing. There are other things in your life that matter as well. And you matter as well. Take good care of yourself. Nurture yourself. If you’ve been through disappointments recently because you feel like you haven’t done enough,let me tell you, you have done enough. You have done more than you know. Now it's time to trust that despite all these disappointments, you’re being guided to where you are meant to be. 

Funny enough, I don't feel like I have to say a lot for this pile, but I keep thinking I have to write more for this pile. But, I really don’t feel like I have to write anything anymore. I feel like it’s all enough. I think this is what you may be thinking too, like you haven’t done enough. But i’m here to tell you, you did, and you don’t have to be overworking yourself too much just because of comparisons you make of yourself against others. The message is kind of similar to pile one if i’m being honest here, this time it’s don’t let your comparisons stop you from resting or from thinking you aren’t good enough. Because you’ve already given so much. Too much even. Maybe it’s for faster results or what not, but you’re getting burnt out and you need to rest. Take a break. It’s hard to enjoy anything when you’re tired or stressed. Take things slow and one at a time. Just chill and slow down for a sec. Nurture yourself again. Watch comfort shows or films. Listen to music that brings you back. It will get better. You’ll regain your strength once again, just give yourself some time. rest , but never give up. 

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees

If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄‍♀️

Pile 3

Cards: 3 of cups rx, 9 of wands, 10 of pentacles rx, queen of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 4 of swords, temperance, page of pentacles, 9 of cups

Back of the deck: page of swords

Random: banana, a guy holding his head and about to tear out his hair in frustration, dolphins, anchor, exercise, a girl with a hat peeking out the side of a boat breathing in the fresh air, surfing

Song:

So Slow - Freestyle

Hello Pile Threeee!!

Let’s go!! this is my pile for real. You guys are so hyper, yet so chill. HAHA the duality. Anyways, to start reading with the energy, I'm sorry this is very unhinged and TMI HAHA, but my lower abdomen hurts so Idk if you guys are constipated (cos I know I am) or it’s something with your root chakra. The root chakra is blocked when you fear change or just in the constant fight or flight mode. So, I suggest you try clearing this. Though, I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm not very sure what the step by step process is like. But, in my not so expert opinion, I would try doing shadow work. Also grounding exercises for your root chakra. But I think it’s best if you guys also do some research on it. 

Overall, The main theme here is to explore. To get curious. Try new things, be open to new things.  Aaand,  I just wanted to say this cos you guys are my favorite kind of people, I hope you continue to be unapologetically yourself. If you have a question, don’t be shy to ask it. If you want to compliment someone, go ahead and do it, I'm pretty sure it’ll make their day. Anyways, what I'm saying is be a little more open to new things that come your way. Explore it in moments and really take it in, like let it all sink in for a bit. Relish it. Stop and smell the flowers for a while. I’m also really getting it to slow down. And ground yourself. I know you guys are hyper (and i love it ngl), but there still needs to be order. There might be so many things swirling in your mind that you’ve lost track and you already feel so confused on what to say and what to do because it’s all over the place. Take things one thing at a time. ground yourself, get to know your thoughts and feelings and be more open with these things that enter your mind. Take it slow. You don’t have to rush. No one is chasing you. You can just chill for a while. Take it a day at a time. Also, take some time out to feel your feelings and notice your thoughts. Explore them some more one step at a time. Take some time to get to know these. Even though my cards were a bit chatty, a lot of them flew out. I needed to tell it only a little cos I'll get confused if it was too much. 

In line with being open to new things, I’m guessing you also need to remove the things you don’t need in your life to let these new things into your life. You need to remove it even though you’re afraid. But if it isn’t making you happy anymore or if it’s an item and you aren’t using it, it’s best to let it go my friend. I hope you guys clear the things you don’t need, so the universe can bring you the things you need, and maybe so that you can explore more and get curious about the world, and step out a little bit. 

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees

If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄‍♀️

Pile 4

Cards: 5 of wands, 10 of wands, 5 of swords, the fool, 6 of wands, king of wands, 10 of pentacles in rx, page of swords rx, 8 of swords rx, ace of pentacles

Back of the deck: page of wands

Random: a girl in a maxi skirt standing alone in a deserted place. You probably keep telling yourself to focus. 

Hello pile fourr :>>

You guys feel like you’re stuck or stagnant at the moment. Like maybe you have nowhere to go, but you feel like there’s a lot you can do. Maybe before, you were very high achieving. Very ambitious. You did everything and anything you could to achieve something. But your eyes have grown tired. Nothing is giving you the same fulfillment and satisfaction anymore. You feel like you’ve lost all passion for things and are just working on a routine over and over again, and you’re bored. You tried the things that made you fulfilled before, but no bueno. It’s not the same anymore. And there’s no need to feel guilty that you feel like you aren’t doing as much as you would have liked as to. There’s no need to feel guilty if you aren’t chasing the same passions as you once did. 

There’s definitely a lot of things that the cards wanted to say if I'm being honest with you. But, It’s too much hehe i’m gonna get confused for real. But the main thing right now is to start fresh. Try new things. Start from scratch. Start from 0 again, and commit to it even if it becomes hard. Only change or switch it up when you can see it isn’t working out or is just bringing you down even more. Just keep trying new things. This pile is similar to pile 3, but more stuck, not knowing what to do. Cos for pile 3, they’re literally gogogogo, and scattered (in a good and bad way) So, keep trying new things and find the one that sticks because out of the many things you can do here, you can’t run out. Don’t stay still, keep moving. If you’re in a desert and can’t see where else to go, of course you have to keep on walking until you find the right place to stay. And you probably won’t get it on the first try,even if I know you really want to speed things up and hurry it up and keep moving forward, you got to try to stick with one first. You got to explore your passions and new things related to it, even if it may seem hard and what not. I know you’re doing what you can right now, and it’s very admirable, and I hope you just keep exploring, and don’t let failures or the need to rush get in the way or keep you stuck in place because you’re the only one doing that to yourself. You won’t be able to get yourself unstuck unless you take action, and pull yourself to try something, and keep on trying even if it doesn’t work, and rest once in a while when you’re tired. And you’re already focused enough btw. If you keep thinking to yourself, “focus”. You are, you just need to explore a bit outside of that “focus”.

I also wanted to say you are not worthless or anything if you feel like the things that give you passion once don’t stick as well. Maybe you just need a break. Try something else, explore new things that make you happy. You don’t have to revolve around one thing all the time. And If you’re worried that you’re losing that passion you loved so much, you're not, you just need some time for the fire to rekindle again. And sometimes that comes in the form of exploring new things.

Thanks for being here! I hope this helps you and I wish you all the best <3 💫

Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t ! 😌

If you enjoyed this reading and found it helpful, why not tip a college student :’)) Thank you in advance 🌊: https://ko-fi.com/ceedeesbees

If you want to book a paid reading with me, just DM me following the instructions in this post. Thank Youuu :>>> 🏄‍♀️

#pac readings #general readings #tarot #tarot pac #intuitive readings #intuitive pac #tarot readings #tarotblr #exchange readings #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot pick a pile #tarot pick a card

[mountttmase]

It's An early Christmas girf timeee🤭🤭

Your first Christmas Eve with mason was going exactly as you had planned. You’d finally wrapped all your presents, prepared all the food you needed for the next day and tidied the house within an inch of its life, all ready for the arrival of Masons and your family tomorrow. I JUST NEED THAT NOW

‘I suppose I can forgive you’ he sighed dramatically before pecking your lips again and reaching for a biscuit. AHHAHAHAH, HE JUST NEEDED A KISS AND IS BACK AT HER FEET

Soon after he was nuzzling up into your neck, placing sporadic kisses wherever he could reach and you felt him smile against you as you shivered. NAUGHTY BOYYY

‘How about you sit on my face so I can show you exactly how much I missed you’ he whispered against your lips before you broth broke out into a laugh at his words. OH, JUST LIKE THAT?🤭

‘Come on baby, take a seat’ he winked and you giggled at his silliness. You rested your left knee by his right shoulder and swung your other leg over, facing the back of the sofa and away from him so you could grab the back for support. Mason reached up to hold you by you waist as if to steady you and you looked down to see him looking up at you from between your legs as you straddled his face. With one final wink from him, he pulled you down gently. LISTEN I'M NOT FEELING GOOD

OMG LOZZZ I'M BLUSHING WITH THAT SMUT

You were breathing into each others mouths and soon enough you needed to feel his lips on yours, so you moved your hands from his shoulders and into his hair, pulling him down to kiss you. THAT MAKES EVERYTHING SOOO ROMANTIC

‘I just love you. A lot’ he confessed and you felt your whole face heat up at his words. ‘And your eyes look pretty with all the lights reflecting in them’ he added, nodding over to the Christmas tree, making you laugh. DEAD

YOU'RE JUST THE QUEEN OF SMUT GIRL, THAT WAS WOW🩷🩷🩷 and I forgot the 🌺🌺 in the previous oneee

This has made me feel festive 😭

He’s so cheeky and he just missed his girl 🥺

And it’s okay i forgot them too 😭🌺🌺🌺

[liams-10inch]

Imagine #13 A-YO - Harry

(song belongs to Lady Gaga)

(not my image)  ***song imagine***

You and Harry were having a barbecue/karaoke party at your house, and by now Harry was already pretty drunk. You saw him drink at least three shots of tequila, so you knew it was only a matter of time until he started behaving more weirdly than usual.

It was Harry's turn to sing, so he stumbled towards the "stage" wearing a pink cowboy hat. You thought to yourself "He's going to sing 'YMCA' again", so you prepared your camera to record whatever shenanigans that were about to start. Harry tried to grab the microphone but missed on the first time; when he finally got a grip of it, he screamed "HEEEEEEERE WE GO WOOOOOO" and you knew exactly what he was going to do.

"I can't wait to smoke you all, whole pack like Marlboro/Blow it in your face/Blow it in your face/Blow it in your," - he stopped mid-verse to wink at you - "Blow it in your face"

He drunkenly shook his ass to the audience, Liam wolf-whistling at him, also drunk.

"I can't wait to rev you up" - Harry pointed at you - "Faster than you can say 'Ferrari'/Tearing' up the gravel/Watch you unravel/Now it's a party" Now Harry was doing - or at least trying to do - some dance moves. He slapped his knees, shoulders and arms, and he looked like he was trying to do the macarena.

"I can't wait to cast my spell" - he dropped to his knees and raised one of his arms - "WHICH ONEEE YOU'LL NEVER TELLLL" - Harry then tried to get up and almost fell, but managed to hold the mic stand - "'Cause I got it covered/City gravy southern/Got you drippin' like no other"

With a hand on his hip, Harry strutted his giraffe legs screaming the song at the top of his lungs.

"Get off on me/My body's got you pleadin'" - he traced his fingers down the buttons of his shirt - "Light me up and breathe in/Mirror on the ceilin'/Off on me/My body's got you pleadin'/Light me up and breath in/Mirror on the ceilin'"

He took off his cowboy hat and threw it to you. "Come here to the stage, baby" He called you. You put on the cowboy hat and quickly grabbed another microphone, just in time for you to sing together.

"A-YO, A-YO/We smokin' 'em all/A-YO, A-YO/We smokin' 'em all/A-YO, A-YO/We smokin' 'em all/A-YO"

"HEEEEEEEEY YO!"

#liams-10inch #Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #one direction imagines #one direction imagine #imagine

[imaginexsa]

Perfect (Bucky x Reader)

A/N: Hey guys!! So here’s a Bucky oneee, I actually could kinda relate because I’m a bit insecure of my body as well, especially my stomach so this was kinda easy to write I guess? Anyways, I didn’t write smut because I wasn’t really feeling it for this fic, I hope you understand, Anon!! Enjoy!!

Request: Hello! I'm new to your blog and wanted to ask if you were up to write a bucky x reader fic where the reader is a tad chubby and insecure about her bod, tummy in particular. She and bucky are best friends but secretly have feels for each other, and something happens and bucky accidentally sees her naked, only to make the reader shut him out and cry/feel super embarrassed about it, but bucky confronts her and something. it would be great if the ending would be smutty, but you can choose. xx

You looked at yourself in the mirror, tucking your thumbs in your jeans’ pockets as you examined your outfit. You were wearing a pair of skinny ripped jeans with a cropped top. Smiling at yourself in the mirror, you turned to the side before turning to the other side.

Sighing, you shook your head. The more you look at yourself the more you picked out more insecurities, especially your stomach area. Looking at your body, you know that you weren’t skinny, especially in the tummy region and you hated it. Throwing your hand up in frustration, you took off the cropped top and replaced it with some old faded tee that belonged to your best friend, changing the skinny jeans to a pair of joggers.

Doing a once over in the mirror, you let out another sigh before leaving your room, dragging your feet to the kitchen to have some breakfast. You brightened up as you noticed your best friend sitting seating by the kitchen isle. Walking up behind him, you bend to look at him, a grin on your face. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Bucky grinned back as he turned to look at you. “Morning, doll.”

You walked past him to grab your favorite cereal and a bowl, pouring the cereal in before grabbing the carton of milk and pouring it in as well, taking a seat opposite Bucky when you were done. “So, what’s todays plans?”

Bucky looked like he was thinking as he scooped up some scramble eggs on his fork. “Just some training maybe sparring with Steve.”

He moved the fork so that it was positioned in front of your mouth, you opening your mouth and eating it instinctively. When you realized what you’ve done, you raised a brow at him as you felt a blush starting to creep up your neck. You watched as Bucky smiled his heart stopping smile, making you feel your heartbeat quicken. Clearing your throat, you focus your attention on your cereal. “I see.”

You couldn’t lie that you like Bucky, what isn’t there to like about him? He’s kind, understanding, a great listener, and just overall amazing. His physical appearance was definitely a plus. However, you didn’t dare confess as why would he like you back, you weren’t the prettiest nor were you the skinniest. You didn’t want to risk losing him as your best friend.

“Y/N?”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you noticed that Bucky was looking at you with a frown. “Yes?”

“I was asking what you were doing today?” Bucky repeated, cocking his head to the side. “Are you okay?”

You faked laugh as you waved it off. “I’m alright, as for today, I think I’ll probably just be doing some admin things before maybe helping Tony with his latest project.”

You worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. like Bucky and the rest of the Avengers but you weren’t a field agent or anyone that goes out and fight, you were kind of like the manager for the Avengers, dealing with they’re clean ups after a fight and stuff like that.

Bucky nodded and was about to say something when his phone beeped. He frowned as he took it out, before looking at you. “I have to go, Steve’s calling. I’ll see you later.”

“See ya,” you said, waving at him. You watched as Bucky grabbed his plate and placed it at the sink, quickly washing it before turning to leave. Raising a brow, you saw Bucky stopped to glance back at you, a smile on his face.

“I think that the shirt looks better on you than on me.” With that said, he left, leaving you feel your face become warm. Cupping both your cheeks, you let out a breath as a smile slipped on your lips.

~

You were humming to yourself as you stepped out of the shower, a towel around your body as you left the bathroom. Making sure the towel can hold up, you started looking through your cupboard for some nightwear.

“Hey, Y/N, y-”

You whipped around as you saw Bucky entering your room, his eyes dropping down to your body. You glanced down as well, noticing that when you turned so quick, the towel fell to the ground. Gasping, you quickly tried to cover as much as you could, Bucky immediately turning around. You bend down and quickly grabbed your towel, your face hot as you looked back at Bucky. “Get out.”

You quickly pushed him out and shut your door, locking it. Taking in deep breaths, you leaned against the door, feeling your whole body feel warm. Bucky, the guy that you like, just saw your naked body, the body that you disliked.

Feeling yourself shake in embarrassment, you went and put on your clothes before throwing the towel to the side and climbing onto your bed. You covered yourself with you blanket as you shut your eyes tightly. How were you going to face him ever again?

“Y/N?”

You held the blanket around you tighter as you heard Bucky call out. Keeping quiet, you heard him calling your name again but you didn’t reply. After a while, you heard the knocking and calling stop. Letting out a heavy sigh, you curled up on your side and let yourself falling asleep, thinking that you’ll never face Bucky again. Well, at least not now.

~

Lying in bed, you just stared at the ceiling. You had barely left your room today, only leaving to get some food when you know that Bucky was busy with his trainings. It’s been about two days since Bucky caught you naked, and you still haven’t met and talked with him. Hearing a knock on the door, you jerked back into reality, your gaze turning to face the door.

“Y/N? It’s me.” You heard Bucky’s voice.

Sighing, you turned away. “Go away.”

“You can’t keep doing this, we need to talk about this,” Bucky said.

“I can stay here for the rest of my life, watch me,” you replied, knowing that you sounded a little childish. You heard a loud sigh.

“Are you decent?”

You frowned as you turned back to face the door. “Yes?”

“Okay.”

After that simple word, everything was silent, making you slowly sit up on your bed, feeling a bad feeling in your gut. Suddenly there was a crash, your door being knocked down as you gasped. You scrambled to the edge of your bed as you looked at the damage, your eyes trailing up to meet Bucky’s. “Why the hell did you do that?”

Bucky stepped past the fallen door, dusting his metal arm before looking at you with a raised brow. “You weren’t going to open the door.”

You looked at him as if he was delirious. “That doesn’t mean that you could just destroy my door.”

“I’ll get it fixed,” Bucky replied as he walked to stand in front of you, his arms crossed. “Now we can talk.”

You stared at him, gulping as you suddenly remembered that night. Feeling your whole body become hot, you looked away as you sat properly on your bed, Bucky taking a seat on the edge of your bed. He watched you. “Why are you avoiding me? I mean I know it’s my fault, I should’ve knocked but you didn’t have to avoid me for so long. I think you didn’t even have a proper meal for a few days.”

Keeping quiet, you still didn’t face him. Biting your lip, you started wringing your hands together unconsciously. Bucky reached out and gently held your chin, turning your head to face him. “What’s wrong?”

You sighed as you felt tears clouding your vision, trying to avoid his gaze, you whispered. “Because you saw what I never wanted you to see.”

Bucky frowned as you turned to face him. “Y-you saw my bare body and I hate it. I never want you to see it, at least not till I lose some more weight. I never want anyone to see my body.”

Bucky looked surprise as he loosened his hold on your chin, making you look away. Bucky was quiet as he continued looking at you, making you feel uncomfortable. You felt your breath hitch as Bucky suddenly cupped your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away the stray tears. “I don’t want you to feel obliged to lose weight, sweetheart. I like you exactly the way you are.

You looked at him surprised, as you squeaked. “What?”

He smiled as he looked at you adoringly. “I like you, Y/N. You might not think you’re perfect…”

You scoffed. “Far from perfect.”

“Yes,” Bucky said as he shuffled closer to you. “But to me, you are perfect, every single part of you. From your personality to your physical appearance, you’re perfect.”

You looked at him skeptically, making Bucky chuckled as he ran one of his hands through your hair, pulling you close as he gave you a chaste kiss on the lips. Your eyes widened as he pulled back, making you stare at him.

“I like you, Y/N,” Bucky repeated, making you snap out of your reverie, a smile tugging on the edges of your lips.

“Well,” you slowly drawled out as you hooped your arms around his neck, Bucky looking at you with raised brows. “I like you too, sunshine.”

#Bucky Barnes #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky oneshot #bucky insert #reader insert #oneshot

[debbieker-blog]

Practice Challenge 1 (2º part)

Full House

I started shuffling the cards. My hands were kind of shaky and I had a weird sensation in my whole body. What am I worrying about? Nothing is going to happen, there’s nothing to lose. 1,1… 2,2… 3,3… 4,4… 5,5… Once the cards were dealt, I take a deep breath and put my hands on my cards to face them up “Wait…!” Sophie put her hand on mine right before I can turn the cards to see my game. I looked into her eyes.  “…Good luck, baby” She looked nervous and concerned. Why are we doing this, again? “Good luck to you, too” I scoffed, trying to pretend I was relaxed about all this  “Are you ready now?” She nodded “1…2…3!” We both turned our cards up to see our game. Good, I got 3 fives, 1 four and a 6. I need another 6 to have full house or a 5 to have four of a kind, fives. The last one is higher than the first one. I took my 4 of hearts “I’m changing this one” I drawled. Sophie was so focused on her game that she took my card and hit me with a new one without taking her eyes from it. “Here” She said giving me her card, I took it and give her one from the pile that was at my right side. She turned the card to face her and her eyes shined. Oh God! I turned mine to see it and… YES! I hope this is good enough! “Ok, so, at the count of three” Sophie started counting “Oneee…, twooo…, three!” We turned our cards face up. I showed a four of a kind, fives. I stare at her game petrified, I bet I pealed. “STRAIGHT FLUSH OF DIAMONDS! … I WON!” Sophie shouted relieved. I was paralyzed. After a few seconds, my voice finally came back ”… Great! I will fill that form tomorrow” I sighed. Sophie reached for me in a hug “I’m so sorry, Debbie” she mourned “Why? no, it’s okay, that was the deal” I explained more to myself than to her. I felt weird, there was that what if, again, making my stomach twist. I must get rid of that thought. Sophie saw my concern and started talking of something else, then we turned up the volume of the radio and start dancing like crazy with the music. She knows me so well, dancing always take my fears away. We end up exhausted and we went to sleep.

 The next morning, I woke up earlier than ever. I went for a run through the road, I needed be alone with my thoughts, but something strange happened to me I had the sensation that someone was following me. When I turned around I didn’t see anyone there. The same thing happened twice, but I guessed it were only my nerves getting on me.

Back at my room, I took a quick shower and get dressed fast. Sophie was still sleeping, so I silently exit the room and went down stairs. I walked over the mail table and looked for the selection’s invitation letter. During my run, I have convinced myself that everything was going to be fine, so, I was back to my happy state of humor. I started to fill the application letter with my name, caste, province, profession, age, physical characteristics, abilities… Wait, am I selling myself? because this is what this feels like. Anyway, when I finished I folded the letter in half and put it inside the smooth envelope. Then I put the radio on and start making breakfast. My dad was the first one to walk in the kitchen. “Debbie” he salute.

“Good morning, father. Breakfast is ready” I bring a plate with pancakes closer to him. “It smells good, thank you. Where’s your brother, Keelan?” He asked.  “I guess he’s already showering. I’m going to leave his plate over here” I replied. “Dad…, I need to talk to you about something important, can I see you later?” ”Is there something wrong?” he asked in a concerned tone “Not at all…” I answered quickly “I will be at the barn, then” he accepted relieved, giving a bite to one of his pancakes I nodded. Then I took a tray with two plates of pancakes, a pair of carrots and the envelop upstairs.

 I knocked at the door with my right foot, Sophie opened it with a sleepy face “Breakfast is here!” I exclaimed happily “Awe! Thank you so much, it looks delicious.” she said yawning I walked into my room and placed the tray on the desk, then I took the envelope then turned around to face Sophie holding the edges with the tip of my fingers covering half of my face. “Eat your breakfast and get ready, because we have something important to do today” Sophie gave me a shy smile “About that, Debs … you really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, I mean we never should have played with something that serious, I’m … “ “No! You know I always pay my bets and this will be no exception, plus, I’m okay with it, now. Don’t worry.” “Are you sure? So, we are okay?”  She asked bashfully “Of course, we are okay”  I gave her a hug “You are my best friend, I can’t be mad at you. Hurry up, then, because there must be thousands of girls waiting in line, already” She looked at me from face to toe and then gave me a grimace “You are going dressed like that?” “What’s wrong with my sweater?” I asked looking down at it, feeling offended “It doesn’t even your size! Put on something decent while I get a shower” I put on a pale green, closed buttoned, shirt, black jeans and dark green flats. Sophie get out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel “Well, that’s better, it looks casual and kind of formal at the same time. Luckily you look good without makeup on” “Thanks! While you get dressed I’m going to talk with my dad and my brother” I said looking at myself on the mirror trying to fix my hair “If you are going to talk with your father, then you won’t take long” I gave her a strong gaze and then walked to the barn, the big, red doors were wide open, I passed in and I found my dad at the end of the barn, helping the workers to make the mixture of hay and molasses to feed the cows. “Hey, father! Do you have a moment?” I asked “Yeah, sure. Let’s sit over there” We sat on some straw bales on the corner of the barn. “Well, I don’t know exactly how to tell you, this …” I don’t talk to my father like this very often and I have no idea if this are going to be good or bad news to him. “Deborah, I have a lot of work to do and you are making me feel anxious, here. Can you please…” “I’m going to apply to the selection, today” I said in a rapidly and explosive sentence Anger over took his face. I have never seen him like this, he stood up. “NO, YOU WON’T!” All the workers turned to see us, they looked scared and my face was paled. I don’t understand why is he so angry about this. We have never talked about it, not even to express our opinions. Well, Sophia is right, we have never talked about anything! “Why are you reacting like this? What’s wrong with the selection? I’m a single, young lady. Talk to me, at least for this time, wha… “ “Deborah, I said NO. Didn’t you listen?” In other circumstances or maybe another day I would have nodded and left the place, but not this time, my father must stop behaving like that to us, we are not his toys, we are his own blood and right now I need an explanation, and it better be a good one to make all this drama. “You will have to give me a reason” I murmured “I actually don’t. I’m your father” A vein popped out of his neck “YES, YOU DO! You never talk to us about anything and I’m sick of that” My rage turned into pain and tears started falling down my cheeks - …We have been understanding all this time, but I think you have to stop treating us like we are strangers to you. You know what? We are stranger to you, because you don’t know us at all. Do you even care about us? Why? What have we done to you?“ My father remain silence, holding his gaze on me. “You know, if you don’t want to tell me your reasons, it’s ok, I will do it anyway.”  I dry some of my tears. “Do whatever you want” He shrieked, turned around and start walking through the barn “Get back to work, everyone” He shouted before getting out. All the workers returned to their activities instantly. I dried all my tears and take deep breaths, it took me some minutes to stand straight, after that I walked out of there and I found Sophie outside the house ready to go. I was still feeling that rebel rage inside me. Now I had a good reason to apply to this competition, no matter if it’s just to go against my father’s demand. This time I wanted to get picked!

 In our way to the bus station I talked to Sophie about everything that happened between my dad and me before. She was as surprised as I was with his reaction. “All this is really strange, I thought he won’t even care about the selection, that he was going to nod and then forget about it” She said with a puzzled face. “It’s hard to admit it, but I thought so too.” Anyway, his reaction, it’s making me change my mind, now I want to do this more than before. I want to be one of those 35 girls. “That’s the spirit, girl! You are going to win this thing”  I laughed “You went too far”  When we arrived at the bus station I looked at my old watch to see the hour, it was later than I thought, then I looked around. We get on the bus.

 When we arrived to Sota’s Services Office, there was a long line with all kind of girls waiting for their turn, some of them seemed to be there for obligation, some looked really nervous and others just couldn’t stop looking at their mirrors fixing their makeup and hair. “What’s taking so long over there? I mean we just have to deliver the application latter and that’ it, right?” I complained. “Don’t forget about the picture” Sophie added “What’s the picture for? The names are randomly picked, aren’t they?” “I guess it’s just to keep a register. Besides, after you get picked, the Prince will like to see your face” She said with mocking dreamy eyes. I rolled mine at her  After almost 1 hour of waiting it was finally our turn. Sophie had to wait outside. A kind well-dressed woman told me to sign the letter and then to put it in a big box that was on the table, then she told me to go into the photoset room, where the photographer was waiting for me.  “Stand over there miss” he indicated me in a grumpy tone. It annoyed me, but I understood, it mustn’t be fun to take pictures of thousands of girls all day long. I stand in front on the camera. “This is the face closed up, pic, smile, please” *click* I just hoped that my wide smile has obscured my red, swollen eyes. “That would be all, thank you” he said indicating me the way out the room with his hand. It’s done now and there’s no turning back.

 Sophie’s agency called her, so she had to go. I went back to the farm, prepared some dinner and then sit down all by myself in the kitchen, remembering everything I said to my father. I regret it… I don’t regret the words I said, I regret the way I said them. Now I wonder if he really has good reasons to react the way he did about the selection. What if he knows something I don’t What if I did the wrong thing? No, I will not panic now that is all done, whatever it happens I will face the consequences of my decision with the best attitude. Suddenly I noticed that Keelan was standing on the door frame looking at me. I turned to face him with my eyes flooded with tears. My brother approached me and gave me a big hug, one of those hugs that heal the soul. “Everything is going to be okay, sis” He said stroking my hair “I don’t know anymore, dad is mad at me, but it’s all done now” I mourned with my head deep in his chest. “You should have told me first and we could have told him together” he crouched to face me “I’m not sure that would have made a difference” “Colton, a worker, told me everything … Debbie, I don’t know why he made so much drama, but please, remember that he loves us” he begged “Listen, I regret all the drama we made out there, but that doesn’t change what I think and feel … and I know sometimes you feel it too.” His mouth snapped shut. He reached a chair to sit across me. “So, you are going to be the next queen of Illéa, huh?” He joked giving me a smirk There he was avoiding and ignoring the problems, changing the subject like he always does. “Shut up!” I said throwing a small potato to him. He reached for my hands “I want you to know, you have all my support”

#Practice Challenge 1 #second part #selectionoc #Deborah Varker