#not bc there's actualy any water

[likehephaestionwhodied]

It’s that time of the year 

#it's humid in the midwest #not bc there's actualy any water #but bc the CORN is SWETING #we love a good monoculture #/j #jake speaks

[umarthiels]

[...] Ahab was now entirely conscious that, in so doing, he had indirectly laid himself open to the unanswerable charge of usurpation; and with perfect impunity, both moral and legal, his crew if so disposed, and to that end competent, could refuse all further obedience to him, and even violently wrest from him the command. From even the barely hinted imputation of usurpation, and the possible consequences of such a suppressed impression gaining ground, Ahab must of course have been most anxious to protect himself.

LAW TIME!

this is so interesting to me bc it calls back to the fact that ahab doesn't actually own the pequod! he's captaining it and he does own a share in it, but the real owners are peleg and bildad, and on shore he's accountable to them. even though on the sea he is master of the ship, he still answers to the owners, and in derailing the voyage from "hunting whales and making money" to "hunting moby-dick specifically", he is usurping authority! he doesn't (well, in the sense of ownership, which will come up later) actually have the right to do this! and if the crew were to mutiny against him (say, if a certain mate who isn't keen on the quest and prioritizes the commercial interests of the voyage over ahab's goal convinced them), legally they'd be in the right to do it, and arguably it'd be their duty to do it. (nautical law side of tumblr do correct me if i'm wrong) (the idea of whether ahab actually has ultimate authority over the pequod comes up later and it's all very interesting!)

this is extra fun since ahab knows this and is genuinely nervous that the crew might rise up against him. right now starbuck stands alone, and even he gave way to peer pressure in the end! the entire crew is enthusiastic about the quest, but if that wanes and they start to consider it, ahab will be in genuine danger! he can't actually answer to the charge of usurpation, he undeniably did it (within the framework of ownership of the whaling industry ofc) which is something that isn't really obvious in pop culture perceptions of him, he's not just some dictator, he's pragmatic about things!

#whale weekly #ahab #moby dick #fr this is so interesting #and the callbacks to this in later chapters are so fascinating to me #esp in chapter 109 where it's most obvious #any people who know big water law do add onto this #like if ahab were any less charismatic and brilliant and pragmatic he mightve fallen prey to this but he DIDNT #and [REDACTED] #and that's something really interesting bc ishmael mentions how the incompetence/traits of the mates made them unable to stand up to ahab #and given that [REDACTED] iit's !!! to thinka bout ishmael recalling all of this after #also also the EVERYTHING abt ahab not actually owning the ship and being painfully conscious abt that #and how he reframes it in 109 #same energy as 'a king is he who can hold his own' #yeah thingol you say you own all beleriand but maedhros is actualy holding it #yeah bildad and peleg you technically own the pequod but ahab is actually captaining it #ALSO cannot believe i forgot to mention but something something means of production #ahab and the crew are doing the labor (and to be fair they do get shares) but they don't get the shares that the big stakeholders like pele #g and bildad do even though they're the ones doing the grueling labor

[macaronnya]

Fresh(?) Impressions (5)

Other parts: |Trickstar| |UNDEAD| |2wink| |Ra*bits| |Akatsuki| |fine| |Ryuseitai| |Knights| |Valkyrie| |Switch| |MaM/Double Face/Crazy:B| |Eden| |Alkaloid|

----------------------------------------------

Hello Enstarries~☆ It is the next unit, Akatsuki! I don't have anything to write here as an introduction anymore but leaving it empty is weird, especially with the lengthy disclaimer. So, I'll just babble a bit here. As of now, the first shuffle event is here! I am aiming to get Kaoru! Idk if I'll actually like him as much as I hope but I like the song, his card is pretty and I can always use another Glitter 5☆ rn. I hope he won't be too expensive....

DISCLAIMER!: Everything said here is for entertainment purposes only and not meant to attack anyone. This is not an accurate description of any characters but my subjective rambling for fun, so please don't take it too seriously. (Just to be safe, I'm kinda scared of elite idol fans) Also, you will hear me mention other games a bunch of times bc I'm that bad and uncreative at explaining and I'm still grieving A3!EN's shutdown. Eng is my 2nd (or 3rd?) language.

Without further ado...Let's Ensemble!☆

----------------------------------------------

I love traditional japanese music mixed with modern, or to be precise, hearing kotos and shamisen playing with modern intruments in modern tunes. It's just SO cool and beautiful, just what their unit theme is, according to enstars wikia. I like the majority of their songs. As far as I know, akatsuki means dawn or so (Akatsuki no Yona = Yona of the Dawn), which explains their red theme. I like their outfits quite a bit as well. Kimonos are SO pretty and I like their more loose approach to it. All the colors work so well together! Oh, and I thought it's cool how they danced with swords and fans (like in Love Live or Pretty Rhythm). Anyways, weren't they one of the ruling and oppressive units in the "!" era? Yikes 😬 Well, they're good now.

8/10 - really like their music and the members are kinda funny

Keito Hasumi

He is, what one and he himself would call, a hobbyless person. Anzu just asked him why he was sitting alone and he went on and on just to say he didn't know what to do with his free time lol He looks so boring at first with his student council president look and aura but the fact that he masks his awkwardness with long paragraphs and lectures, plus he likes comics, reminds me of Sakyo (A3!), which makes him funny again. It even fits with the I-used-to-be-an-evil-boss or whatever happened in the "!" era. And what's up with his points system 😂 Does he have a whole book with everyones' names and points inside it, that he carries everywhere? Would have an actualy blacklist. Or maybe even: Dear Diary, today Miss Producer made fun of me :( Gosh, Leona (Twst), his VA twin would fold him in half in a second. With all of that done, I like his voice. It's a weird mix of being high and deep at the same time but not really and it feels like drinking cold water.

6.5/10 - pathetic funny man I'd be too scared of him in rl tho bc of his authorative air

Kuro Kiryu

Kazuma Kiryu?!?!?!?! (Yakuza series) Big scary looking guy who changed his way of being a gangster to being a big dorky softie 💕 We love to see it. Big bro, likes sewing, caring, hubby material He may not be a man of many words but that's OK, I'm sure his actions prove his good intentions. He seems like he can cook and do housework. Probably has a single father. I love this trope of scary giant with a heart of gold so so much He's also ambitious enough to pursue both being an idol and designer!!! Literally a fusion of Yuki, Omi and Juza (A3!). Is his hair color red or black? Whatever it is, I bet if a card of him with his hair down comes out, everyone is gonna go crazy (me included).

8/10 - good boy, I'd pat his head

Souma Kanzaki

He never grew out of his chuuni phase and even went as far as to get an official license for his sword, if that isn't dedication idk what is. -insert meme of a guy cutting cake with a giant sword but instead it's a fish and his katana- He's like Gakupo (Vocaloid) but real. May or may not be friends with the ninja guy. He used to have a lot of friends in elementary school but then became a loner, is what I imagine. Dude didn't even realise people were kinda put off by his sword. If he has a license, then he practices kendo, right? He can actually wield it, right? If he also likes swords a lot and not just being a samurai, he'd have a field day with Touken Ranbu. His voice is softer than I imagined it to be, it has a pudding like texture.

7.5/10 - part of the drama gangy, would be the uncle kids love only for his cool things

----------------------------------------------

Conclusion

They can live perfectly fine in a house with just the three of them without burning it down. We have a cook, smn who does the paperwork and finances, and a handy guy. Honestly, still a pretty normal group here. I can't wait for more songs of them to come.

That's about it this time. I hope you found it nice and all if you made it this far. If you have any thoughts you wanna share, just remember, that everything is just for fun and stay polite! See you in the next part~☆

#ensemble stars #enstars #Akatsuki #macaron rambles

[vanillatalc]

nooooooooo a very small portion of my gum is irritated and (possibly) infected :((( OG followers will remember the horrific experiences of my recurrent wisdom tooth infections before i got them taken out lol so im sitting on the sofa now deeply worried!! hopefully it’s not as bad as that tho, im not in much pain or anything, it just feels a bit weird when i eat + is a bit red and swollen however i dunno how much of t hat is bc i was just poking it around w/ a cotton bud tbh. anyway i have done a salt water rinse + bought some mouthwash to arrive tomorrow sooooo hoping it just wont get any worse and it’s just one of those minor irritants that crop up every so often

here is a photo of the what the wisdom tooth infection DID TO ME!!

this was teh snapchat era my eyes dont actualy look like that

#to this day i have never experienced any pain as bad as the wisdom tooth abscess #it was absolutely horrific #i literally had no idea how to handle it #it was like 4am and i literally just called my mum bc it was completely unbearable #i always think im decent at handling pain but that was another level of horror #even now thinking about it i get all sweaty lmfao #like i feel like no one who hasn't had a tooth abscess can relate at all bc it sounds so small #prior to the infection i would have bene like what? how can it possibly be that bad? #like no it really is

[hibernationsuit]

1, 8 & 11 for Toby, + 2, 10 & 13 for Klara? 🤍

1./ What was your muse's personality like as a kid? How has it changed since then?

HE WAS QUIET & CALM!!! or at least tried to be bc apparently that's what people wanted him to be and so he was like "ok so i gotta act every time sure </3". He used to mostly concentrate on himself and barely had any time to get friends outside school (also not good) so he just ended up (at least looking) very reserved.

Once he left his family he started actually being himself - talkative, curious and trying to be social. Clearly he still prefers smaller crowd more than big crowds, BUT at least he has actualy friends now.

I'd also say that his stance on failing has also changed. Back then he'd be always afraid to do something wrong and strived for perfection. Nowadays he doesn't care. If he fails, well, there's always other chances. Most of the times. Not that it doesn't stress him anymore 🙄

8. Did your muse have a best friend? Friends? Who did they hang out with as a kid? Are they still friends?

They had a small friend group but all of his friends were also more study/success oriented so they didn't really get to hang out like children should that often. And no they aren't, they lost contact after high school :(

11. What expectations were placed on your muse as a child? Who had those expectations for your muse? How did your muse feel about them?

Very high expectations. His social environment was Obsessed (tm) with not only academic success, but also success in things like sports and other hobbies. His parents (talking about his mother & stepfather in this situation) wanted him to really meet their expectations and thus he. well. barely had any free time outside studying and hobbies and figure skating 😭

At first, when he was very young, he really didn't realize that it's not that good (tm) snd fully went along with it. Slowly he started to realize that maybe there's more to life, but hey, kinda hard to change anything right now?

I think his "resistance" began with when he was 15, with his last skating performance (he would've won a gold metal btw. if he didn't fall) that fucked his knee very badly 😵‍💫 That made him fully go "I'm so fucking tired of this shit </3" and stop taking part in it no matter how much his parents objected to it. Then he slowly started to, like, try and put more free time in his schedule to pursue things he likes and learn more about his favorite topics, and to start actually hanging our with people.

Of course, his parents were like "oh well at least u can make us proud by going to medical school" and like, as usual, at first he went along with it. BUT then he realized that nope, he does Not want that and applied to study his fav subject, chemistry. This then led to a big argument after which Tobias was like "u know what i'm done, i'm leaving and never seeing you again" and he actually did that. Good for him.

2. Where did your muse grow up? What was their home like? Did they like where they grew up?

Klara's from San Francisco area! Her home was quite big (I mean. parents being high-rank ppl at corporations etc etc.) and her family was v nice. They had lots of relatives and either visited them or they came to visit often. She really liked it a lot, though she wishes her parents weren't away as much as they did.

10. What responsibilities did your muse have as a child? Chores? Babysitting? How good were they at fulfilling their responsibilities?

Washing dishes sjdjfjjffk That's why she absolutely Hates It. Mind you, she was good at it, but the whole "put your hands under the running water to wash a plate" was not her thing.

Not an actual chore of hers but she loved the whole "spring cleaning" thing tho <3

13. What did your muse want to be when they grew up? Did they have any childhood dreams, and have they achieved them?

In no specific order, she wanted to be a writer, a firefighter, a ceo (forgot abt it after a week) and a teacher.

Her childhood dreams included helping others with her job (not really achieved yet but she'll probably get there), having a place to call home w/ someone she loves (achieved <3) and to do what she wants (partly achieved) ehehe <3

oc childhood asks

#ehehehee yayy <3 <- excited for this many questions AND seeing several fav numbers #asks #oc: tobias #oc: klara

[pigletsbigmovie]

i think the thing with mcu spidey is that.... it feels like all the mistakes he makes in the films are bumbling and innocent rather than choices manifesting a deep character flaw that he has to overcome

it’s like everything he does, the mistakes he makes, is just the result of him being 16......... like it’s not his fault he’s a kid superhero.... and so the consequences of his mistakes feel less cutting? bc it doesnt really feel like his fault?

compare that to raimi spidey deliberately choosing to not stop a criminal which results in his uncle dying.

ffh was fun to watch but it was also really frustrating seeing ppl push peter to take on this adult job and then get mad at him when he doesnt perform as well as an adult? that made me legit sooooo Mad lmao like! yeah! he’s not gonna do as well as tony bc peter isnt a full grown adult man what the fuck! but the movie frames peter, A Child, not being ready to handle Adult Responsibility as a character flaw... like he’s being a bit of a coward rather than being justifiably overwhelmed.....

like i feel like they could’ve had peter feeling overwhelmed and insecure about his status as a superhero Without shaming him for being a kid??

when i first watched ffh, during the battle against the water elemental in venice, i was soooo excited bc i thought i had pinned down the theme. mysterio is engaging in this big flashy battle with the water elemental while peter gets knocked around trying really hard to reduce civilian casualties and keep his friends safe

and it’s mysterio who gets the spotlight while his classmates have no idea that he saved them from getting crushed by a building

and so i thought this was the start of a story about Performative Heroism vs Actual Heroism... and like it’s still kind of about that but i dont think the movies dives deep enough into that theme?

and i thought it was reinforced with again, peter being preoccupied with keeping betty and ned safe that he cant help mysterio..... nick fury railing on peter for being too focused on his friends’ safety rather than fighting the big bad elemental monsters. the very perfomative flashy stuff....

i thought it was gonna culminate into the realization that like yeah, peter is an avenger. he’s been to space, he’s fought thanos, he fought in this big War.... but his friendly neighborhood spider-man schtick is important too and it is just as heroic as fighting the big bads. peter always looking out for the little guy is a Good Thing! maybe it isnt world ending stuff but it’s not insignificant! peter is made to feel ashamed for being so caught up with these “smaller” issues but what he does is important

but then after mysterio reveals himself to be a bad guy all of that kind of just?? gets pushed aside... and it’s then that i realized ok, this movie isnt gonna be about what i thought it was gonna be... peter doesnt learn to see the value in what he does instead it’s just... he believes in himself now, making mistakes is ok nobody’s perfect, and now he has the confidence to take on these adult sized problems

mysterio is still representative of performative heroism but peter isnt rly presented as a foil to that? not in any meaningful way? like yeah. peter is a true hero... but why? what makes him different from quentin other than the fact that peter is actually trying to do good??

i think it wouldve been interesting if. in the final battle, peter had to choose between saving his friends or fighting mysterio. peter chooses to save his friends. he ultimately ends up defeating mysterio but maybe mysterio uses footage of peter going off to save his friends to frame him as cowardly

like the scene in the end where they just... use that one out of context line... not that i dont believe that that’s enough to convince ppl that spiderman is Bad lmao humanity be like that... but footage of an Act is far more difficult to disprove i think. and it would also be a consequence to a choice peter made rather than just a line taken out of context

ANYWAY TL;DR im just frustrated bc the mcu spidey movies sprinkle in these really interesting themes but then they dont actualy explore them in depth... and im frustrated with peter never really experiencing any growth beyond learning to be confident himself?

it isnt even that learning to be confident in yourself is a bad theme! spiderverse is literally that theme done spectacularly!!!! it’s just not done in a way that i find particulary impactful in mcu spidey......

#i cant talk about movies in brief im sorry man im just like that #ten2 talks

[ellanainthetardis]

I absolutely loved your oneshot about Effie being pan! Just in terms of hc, how do you think her family would feel about it? Do you think it would just be the norm in the Capitol or do you think there would still be a stigma?

(I hope the vocabulary I’m using is sensitive enough, English isn’t my first language. As always my hc are only that and I force no one to share them)

In terms of hc, I think her family isn’t even really aware because they ever really stop long enough to pay attention to her when it’s not convenient for them. I think her sister knows and is completely ok with it and her parents know as well but it’s more of a low-key distant kind of knowledge.

This all boils down to my hc that there is a small paradox in the Capitol being both a sort of decadent Roman very free place and an almost victorian rigid one when it comes to manners and etiquette and such. I don’t think there would be a real stigma on people who aren’t (simply) straight the same I don’t think there would really be a problem of racism against specific ethnic origins (because the racism is directed against the district people who are composed of various ethnnic origins themselves, just like the Capitol - at least in the books, the movies made things a little more complicated on that front maybe? I don’t know I remember in the movie almost everyone in Eleven were black people and there was a fuss about it at the time but I think in the books it’s more of a melting pot everywhere). I hc same-sex mariages would be absolutely 100% accepted (and it’s not really the issue but I also hc most of the wealthy people use surrogates because of vanity issues so having children wouldn’t be a problem either).

This being said, I hc the upper classes of the Capitol - because we kind of see in the books there are different kind of people in the city in terms of wealth and let’s be honest for a city to work out realistically with “slaves” (district people) kept separate from the mass there has to be (there can’t be enough avoxes to work outside of government controlled environment and it would be dangerous to let criminals in the air anyway) - would be leaning more toward marriages of conveniences and appearances at all cost. It is a world of smoke and mirrors so I think most of the upper class would probably insist on their children marrying the opposite gender if only to create alliances, make sure there’s an heir to their respetive empires and so on… Same-sex marriages and such are probably actualy marriages that happened for love when most of the marriages are of convenience or interest.

For this reason, I think Elindra wouldn’t mind at all that Effie has broad tastes (why would she?) but at the end of the day she fully expects her to marry someone who meets her own criterias and that probably means an older man with influence who would make her a trophy wife, keep her safe until her old age and make her rich enough to live a comfortable life. I guess if Effie was really insistent on it, she wouldn’t mind an influential wife for her either but it really comes down to Elindra wanting to control her daughter’s life by making it a replica of her own. What she wants for Effie is a good marriage, children and just enough fame to make her admired but not under the government’s spotlight. Because Elindra is smarter than she let on and would know the Capitol is dangerous treacherous waters.

Her mother wouldn’t care at all what she does and with who as long as it doesn’t hurt her prospects.

Her father, I honestly can’t see him care either way. He’s distant but he does love his daughters and it doesn’t really matter to him who they love.

And Lyssa, as previously stated, would be 100% ok with it because she’s that kind of woman who only really wants her loved ones to be happy no matter what.

To come back to the stigma question though because I think it’s an interesting one. I also hc that the view on sexuality is a bit different in the Districts because they’re different places. I’m not entirely sure for the Careers ones (1 to 4) because they’re wealthier and the particulars of my hc don’t apply but for 12 at least and 11 probably, they don’t have any access to protection of any kind. To me, it’s always been more or less of a hc that you remained mostly celibate until you’re old enough to get married (I say mostly because hello, teenagers will be teenagers, condoms or not) simply because you cannot risk a pregnancy in that world. It’s too harsh.

For this reason, I think Districts have more traditional view on sexuality, marriages and the likes and thus while I wouldn’t say there is a stigma on same-sex relations there, I do think it would be more or less… discreet. Sort of like in small country towns (at least in France XD) because people are set in their ways of thinking and it’s not that they’re necessarily aggressive about it or that they will run you out with pitchforks but that the way they consider you is different enough to make you feel ostracized.

So, yeah… Districts would definitely be different about their views on sexuality which is why I always have Haymitch be a little weird about Effie’s sexual orientation. It’s not that he disapproves or judges or anything like that but to him who is a veeeeery straight dominant man who has been raised a certain way (traditional and in the respect of women bc his mother was a saint ok fight me on this) it’s a little out of his comprehension. But as long as he’s the only one she wants, he’s okay with it. In time, once he’s more certain of their relationship, he even jokes about it.

In my default verse, Haymitch also has had his own… experiencing when he was younger and had to go with men (because I don’t buy for one second what he tells Katniss. Jo has no one left and it’s implied she’s prostituted anyway. There are plenty of way to make a victor cooperate even one who doesn’t have a family left) which makes him very defensive on the issue when it comes down to his own sexual orientation. But he wouldn’t hate anyone based on their sexual preferences either way.

On another note entirely, you’re making me wonder how that would be in Thirteen. Because with their fertility problems and their charming military way of life… There I wouldn’t be surprised if such things were outlawed because they desperately need babies… I would need to think about it…

If anyone has thoughts, I’m interested to hear them! It’s very difficult to use canon to build a base line because we don’t really have any instances of queer characters in canon, do we? I mean, I know a lot of people think Kat is asexual and Jo is gay but there is no canon proof of either, it’s more fanon things. Am I forgetting someone? I don’t think so… But I guess it falls a little in the worldbuilding plotholes of panem… I’ve said it times and times again but there are a lot of details that are missing from a good worldbuilding… We don’t know anything about religion or money or sexuality… Even the politics are a bit blurred although they did make it a little clearer in the movies…

Anyway… Thoughts! I want to hear!

#meta #hc #anon #ask

[disorganisedpilot]

captains log 03-04/01/21

weight discussion under the cut

woke up late and had get to work on preparing lunch as we had someone coming over

had tortellini and sauce (tomatoes, garlic, spring onion, olives) and homemade garlic bread for lunch, drank some sparkling water and ate some mini chocolate eclairs with blueberries and raspberries

drank a Lot of coffee and ate a bunch of homemade ginger biscuits

went for a walk in the snow/ice. i walked my granny’s dog for her. had some fun in the snow

drank a cup of tea with oat milk

took a nap 

ate leftover vegetable pie (beetroot, carrot, parsnip) with rice and leftover roast potatoes.

watched tv w my fam including an ep of my SpIn show <3

weighed myself. ive hardly gone up at all but i am into the next stone up so hopefully i can hold it there at least and if i cant get it higher i can at least not lose any more. 

chatted w a friend

paranoia was a whole lot better today, no idea why but ill take it lol. depression was really bad, v apathetic and grey and just. no thoughts head empty lol. but im feeling a lil better now bc i chatted to friends and thought abt my comfort character

my spooky symptoms have calmed down a whole bunch ive not noticed anything fucked up for ages and i am 100% certain this is bc im sleeping at least a few hours every night and also eating 3 times a day now. obvs now im like o shit i was just sleep deprived im not actualy sick or Valid(TM).... n then remember that i fully lost my shit on christmas day and had an Episode and wasnt lucid at all for a few minutes n im like . nope its fine im def mentally ill and not just bad at looking after myself

feeling positive abt: 

snow

my fairy lights

my comfort character

my comfort item (a jellycat fabulous fruit orange called clementine. i love her so much fhdjfs)

vegetables

its 02:48 n i really should sleep bc my feet are itchy which always means i need to sleep but im still chatting aaa

#captains log #food tw #weight mention

[chickenfetus]

ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao 

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue 

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight 

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me) 

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6?????? 

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post 

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip 

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character 

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!! 

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ????? 

31:  Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33:  Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM 

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37:  How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool! 

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

#im laughing icb i asked u to ask me thank u for asking #ur a good pal #softshouyous #asks

[the-transfeminine-mystique]

maybe it’s bc i’m not used to having emotions? i’m not used to suppressing feelings? but like i’m in a semi-manic phase rn and i just need acknowledgement, like i need it to be recognized first of all that i’m a girl but also that like 

[this is a break in my thought pattern, i like literally cannot get back to the thought that i was on. i just perpetually feel like i’m metaphorically drowning and the only way to survive is to get acknowledgement of things and i can’t get that and i don’t know what to do]

like the only way i can stay above the water is to try to make sense of the things that i can remember at any given moment 

and sometimes that’s not pretty

idk

i just can’t trust myself and i need someone to acknowledge that things happened and i can trust my memory sometimes and it’s ok to value things that happened and i actualy have a history through all the dysphoria and dissociation

[kpopfanfictrash]

Control

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Mark

Rating: PG-13 

Word Count: 4,448

Summary: On a night out with your friends, you accidentally text the wrong number for advice. The guy on the other end of the phone is abrupt, harsh and kind of an ass - but he also happens to be right. Which explains why you keep texting him. Right?

“537. 555. 2469.”

Finishing typing the digits into your phone, you look up. “Got it. Still can’t believe you dropped your phone in the toilet.”

“Yeah, well.” Jen frowns, leaning into the mirror. “Don’t keep your phone in your back pocket.”

“Life lessons from Jen,” you deadpan, sliding your straightener over your hair. Bumping your roommate in the hip, you grin. “But really. That burner phone looks terrible.”

“What, this red Envy from my high school days? Top line technology, Y/N.”

“Obviously.”

“I can type AND flip it open. How many phones do you know that can do that?”

“Zero. Actually zero.”

Jennifer gives her hair a final fluff before facing you. “Just two more days until my new phone ships.”

“Thank god. So how do I look?”

Jen eyes you up and down. “Stunning. Ravishing. The boys will be eating out of your hand.”

You laugh as you straighten your top. “Too much, even for you,” you scold, leaving the bathroom as Jen’s laughter follows you down the hall.

You and Jen have been friends since college, ever since you spilled your drink at a bar and Jen was there to pull you aside, insisting some random guy pushed you. After that you were inseparable, even after college it was the same – except now you’re roommates, living out your struggles while simultaneously navigating the waters of early twenties-dom.

Today is Friday and after a long work week you’re finally ready to let loose. Or at least, Jen is. You’re the one being dragged along, despite your ardent desire to stay in and watch West World with a bottle of wine.

This, however was deemed by Jen as ‘anti-social.’

So here you are, dressed in your heels and a tight skirt. Ready to take the town by storm. Or at least Blackbird – the club you’ve settled on for the night. As you enter you scan the crowd, shoving your nervous butterflies into the pit of your stomach. 

Jake is supposed to be here tonight. Jake - the incredibly attractive and incredibly elusive boy you’ve been seeing.

Well, seeing is a strong word.

You two went on one date and it’s been days since you’ve heard from him. As you reach the bar you pull out his last message, hoping to decipher something between the vaguely worded texts you’ve yet to see.

Y/N: Hey! I had fun last night. Let me know if you want to do it again sometime. [11:50 AM]

Jake: Hey, me too. Would love to see you again, let’s talk later this week about details? [12:10 PM]

You: Great :) [12:12 PM]

Two days later.

You: Hey :) [2:01 PM]

Re-reading your text, you cringe at the double smiley. Just like you did Tuesday, moments after sending it. The next text is a little more heart-lifting.

Jake: Hey [2:29 PM]

You: So there’s an art exhibit this weekend I think you’d enjoy. Want to come with me? [2:31 PM]

Jake: I already have plans this weekend. But rain check? [2:55 PM]

No response from you after that. Even with a guy as cute as Jake, you can take the hint. But then he texted earlier, wanting to know what your plans were for tonight.

Jake: Hey, Y/N. I told friends I’d meet them later but was hoping to see you too. Any chance you’ll be at Blackbird tonight? [4:05 PM]

You: I think I could be persuaded. See you there [4:08 PM]

So now you hold your phone in one hand, scanning the bar for his familiar face. Dark brown hair, killer green eyes. A combination designed to scramble thoughts. Smart, too. Jake owns his own consulting business while somehow managing to keep up charity work on the weekends. That’s right, charity work - mostly at the local children’s hospital.

And there he is now.

Your heart flutters, only to stutter when you realize he’s not alone. The girl’s back is towards you, so you can’t see what she looks like but if her legs are anything to go off of, she’s gorgeous. Jake leans in close - too close to be just friends.

All of a sudden the space inside this club seems very small. The room is too hot and you don’t know where to look. You end up slipping your hand in Jen’s, pleased when she tugs you towards the bar.

“Come on,” Jen sniffs, having seen the whole exchange as she glares in Jake’s direction. “Let’s go get you a shot.”

Five tequila shots later, the room spins in a peachy fuzz of alcohol. Better than focusing on Jake, at least and you head onto the dance floor, swaying your hips and trying to pretend that you’ve forgotten all about what’s-his-face.

A hand taps you on the shoulder.

“Yeah?” You turn, freezing when you come face to face with tousled hair and a mega-watt smile.

Jake stands right before you. “I’ve been searching for you.”

“Not very hard, it seems.” Frowning, you turn to leave as his hand closes around your upper wrist. “Hey!” you gasp, yanking your arm free.

Jake lets you go, holding up both hands. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, gaze roaming your face. “I wish I could be at that art exhibit tomorrow.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you say, even though it does.

Jake touches your hand, fingers soft against your skin and you suddenly are having a hard time staying mad. 

“It does matter,” he says solemnly. “I really am sorry – I just have to be at the hospital first thing in the morning.”

You turn towards him. Maybe if you were less drunk, you’d realize that this doesn’t make a lot of sense. If Jake has to be at the hospital first thing in the morning, why is he at a club in Midtown past midnight? But you’re not thinking too clearly right now, and his excuse is just enough to appease your anger. 

“Oh,” you say, the word coming out small.

Jake steps closer. “I feel I should stay longer,” he muses. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen these friends. But I was wondering… Nah, never mind.”

“What?” you ask, leaning in.

Jake shakes his head. “I was just wondering if you wanted to get a cup of coffee tonight? I know it’s late and a bit crazy, but…” He trails off, unsure.

Blinking up at him, you nod. “I’d like that.”

“Great.” He smiles down at you. “Well, I’m going to go back to my friends. But I’ll come over in a bit, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Slightly dazed from the conversation, you watch him go. Sliding in and out of dancers until he disappears from view. 

Your head spins from both the conversation and your alcohol and once Jake is out of sight, the music seems to surge around you. The bodies of dancers swallowing you until suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Closing both eyes, you push towards the edge of the dance floor.

You need Jen. She’ll be able to tell you what to do because right now, the whole club is spinning and it’s probably not a good idea to go home with anyone. 

But Jake isn’t just anyone.

You scan the floor. No Jen. Fingers fumbling, you pull out your phone, scrolling through contacts for her burner number.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” you grumble, facing away from the noise. Jen doesn’t answer though – unable to hear over the sound of the club. Defeated, you pull back your phone and type instead.

Y/N: So Jake found me. [12:03 AM]

You pause, thinking about what to say..

Y/N: He said he’s sorry for msising the art thing but wants to get coffee. I’m kind of drunk so idk?? I knw he blew me off but it was bc of that thing at the children’s hospital : / and he seems like he actualy wants to see me … idk what do I do HELP [12:05 AM]

You press send.

A response doesn’t come right away so you wait. Continuing to search the dance floor for Jen’s signature curly hair. Until your phone chimes in your hand.

555-8924: I think you have the wrong number. [12:07 AM]

Fuck. Scowling down at the still-blinking ellipses, your face heats up. Jen must have put in the wrong number  – now how are you going to find her? Also - how wildly embarrassing. You just rambled on like a drunken moron to a total stranger.

Your phone chimes again.

555-8924: But seeing as I’m awake and feeling particularly generous – one hundred percent no, you should not get coffee with him. Are you insane? [12:08 AM]

You stare back at the response, black and white, and a tiny bubble of anger appears in your stomach. You type, fingers flying over the keyboard since you’re too drunk to care how you come across. 

Y/N: Oh, really? What makes you – a cmplete stranger – think u know me? [12:10 AM]

555-8924: Lol. I know you. [12:11 AM]

You bristle when his or her ellipses continue to pulse. Ding. 

555-8924: But more importantly I know him. I’m a guy. And I can recognize a tragic situation when I see one. [12:12 AM]

You gasp, past caring if anyone hears. 

Y/N: Tragic? Well, fuck you. [12:13 AM]

He doesn’t respond. You collapse into the closest booth, staring down at your screen until your anger fades and eventually, your curiosity gets the best of you.

Y/N: But … say I did value your opinion. Why shouldn’t I get coffee with him? [12:14 AM]

When the ellipses re-appear, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. 

555-8924: Well. First off – a children’s hospital? Sounds too good to be true. Second. Coffee after midnight? There’s only one thing that guy wants and it’s not coffee. [12:16 AM]

You blush, almost missing his next text. 

555-8924: And three – you said so yourself, this guy blew you off. Why would you give him the opportunity to do it again? [12:16 AM]

You stare at your phone. He’s right. Whomever he is, he’s right. Jake is just trying to hook up. And… as much as you want that, you also want more. Which doesn’t seem to be the case for him.

Y/N: I hate to admit, seing as you’re a dick and all but you have a point. [12:17 AM]

555-8924: Hahaha [12:18 AM]

The guy texts back laughter, typing each ha. It makes you grin, chuckling when your phone dings again.

555-8924: Okay, maybe I was being harsh. [12:19 AM]

Y/N: Harsh is the Sahara. Harsh is the Amazon rain forest. Calling a girl tragic on a Friday night is nothing short of savage. [12:20 AM]

555-8924: You’re right, who am I to judge? You’re probably not tragic. Just hopelessly naïve [12:21 AM]

Y/N: Well, you’re too cynical! [12:21 AM]

Oh, crap. What are you doing? Wincing, you set your phone in your lap. This guy isn’t going to respond. He definitely won’t respond. He – ding. 

555-8924: How did you know what my friends call me? Birth name Mark, ‘Cynical’ for those in the know. [12:23 AM]

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard. 

Y/N: Hi, Mark. I’m Y/N. Thanks for talking to me. [12:25 AM]

There’s a long pause before your phone dings again.

555-8924: Pleasure’s all mine. [12:27 AM]

“Y/N!”

Your gaze shoots up, happy to see Jen pushing through the crowd of people. When she reaches your side she sits, smelling of sweat and perfume.

“Are you ready to go?” she asks. “This place is one spilled drink away from Hot Mess central, destination: Not Good.”

Laughing, you push yourself to stand. “I’m ready.” You slip your purse over your shoulder, wobbling just a little bit. “I’ll call an Uber?”

Jen nods, looping her hand in yours. “Did I see you talking to Jake earlier?”

“Ugh,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “He wanted to get coffee later tonight.”

“Oh, really?” Jen laughs. “Translation: BOOTY CALL.”

You flush, remembering Mark’s similar assessment. “Yeah, that’s what I figured. I’m not going.”

“Of course not.” Jen squeezes your arm. “You’re worth so much more, sweetie. He’ll realize that soon.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

As you leave, you glance over your shoulder. Without really meaning to, you find Jake’s gaze. His face lights up, mouth opening until he notices your purse on your shoulder. His gaze darkens, falling when you slowly shake your head.

And then you leave, disappearing out the door. Feeling oddly lighter than when you entered.

The next morning you wake to a banner headache. Groaning, you clutch your comforter tighter and squint at the clock on your nightstand.

9:04 am.

You can sleep for a while longer. Rolling over, you nestle into your blankets and … remember last night. Your eyes shoot open. All the memories of the club come crashing down as you groan.

You almost went home with Jake. The memory of that stupid pick-up line hits you like a ton of bricks.

“If you wanted to get a cup of coffee? I know it’s late and a little crazy, but…”

Thank god you didn’t go.

You sit up, hastily grabbing your phone to scroll through your texts. Your heart hammers when you see them - when you remember your virtual love doctor. Wincing at all the spelling errors, you groan out loud. Falling back and clsoing your eyes when you read the part about telling Mark to go fuck himself.

That’s his name – Mark.

After simmering in embarrassment for several minutes, you decide to send him an apology. He seems nice and you were being drunk and incoherent. The least you can do is apologize.

After several minutes of typing, you have the following:

Y/N: Hi, Mark. This is Y/N from last night. I woke up to these texts and wanted to say sorry. I’m normally not that drunk. Or rude. The naïveté still stands though, so thanks for calling me out on that. Anyways, you don’t have to respond to this but I wanted to apologize now that I’m sober. [9:10 AM]

You press send, setting your phone back on your table and flopping onto your pillows. Mark probably won’t respond. Why would he, after last night? 

Ding.

Mark: Hi, Y/N from last night. Don’t worry about it – you were the most entertainment I’ve had in a while. [9:13 AM]  

You sit up, slowly typing back your response.

Y/N: Glad to hear my dating woes amuse you. Got any advice for a continually tragic case such as myself? [9:15 AM]

Mark: Well first off, don’t tell him that.[9:16 AM]

Y/N: Noted. [9:16 AM]

Mark: Second, play hard to get. Did you talk to him before leaving last night? [9:17 AM]

You remember looking at Jake - but you left without a word. 

Y/N: No. We made eye contact but I didn’t say anything – I just left. [9:18 AM]

Mark: Haha good. He’ll probably text today, wondering why you didn’t go home with him. [9:19 AM]

You almost laugh – like it’s that easy.

Y/N: Riiight. [9:20 AM]

Y/N: I’ll be sure to let you know when that happens. Don’t hold your breath. [9:21 AM]

Mark: I’m just saying. Guys can be dicks but we’re predictable dicks. We want what we can’t have. [9:22 AM]

Y/N: How pessimistic of you. Who died and made you love doctor? [9:23 AM]

Mark: You did, when you asked me for advice.[9:24 AM]

Snorting, you tap your fingers against your legs. He’s right.

Y/N: Fine. I’ll let you know when Jake comes banging on my door. [9:25 AM]

Mark: Good. I actually have to go – work – but keep me updated, Y/N. Cynical might be my middle name, but I’m a sucker for a happy ending. [9:27 AM]

You throw your phone back on your comforter and sigh, stretching your arms overhead. For some reason there’s a smile on your face when you get up out of bed.

Around 6:00 your phone dings.

Jake.

Your eyes move to the previous thread – re-reading Mark’s smug assurance that Jake would text before the day was up. How the hell did he know? You open Jake’s text, eyebrows rising when you see a photo of him crouched beside a girl in a hospital bed. Jake is holding a picture book and smiling ear to ear.

Jake: Hey, Y/N! Sorry if I came on too strong last night. I realized this morning that I was out of line and wanted apologize. This is Melissa, we’re reading Clifford the Big Red Dog (see? I really did have charity work). Anyways. All of this is a rather long way of asking if we could set a time for that second date of ours? [6:03 PM]

You stare at his words. Without really knowing why, you find yourself texting Mark.

Y/N: You’re not going to believe who just texted me. [6:05 PM]

The phone dings almost immediately.

Mark: Let me guess. Coffee jackass? [6:06 PM]

Laughing, you bite your lip to keep from grinning.

You screenshot Jake’s message and picture, sending both to Mark. 

Y/N: Bingo. What should I say? [6:07 PM]

There’s a long pause, and you’re about to message him again when your phone dings.

Mark: Do you like this guy, Y/N? [6:09 PM]

His question gives you pause. Jake is kind, nice and smart. Maybe not the easiest to read and he doesn’t always get your sense of humor – but then, who’s perfect? 

Y/N: Yes. [6:10 PM]

Mark: Okay. Then respond, but keep it casual. Let him know you’re interested but don’t be the one to set the time and place. Make sure you stay in control. [6:13 PM]

You nod. Stay in control. You can do that. 

Y/N: A date? What did you have in mind? [6:14 PM]

Jake: Dinner. The two of us. Next Friday night. [6:15 PM]

Your eyebrows shoot up.

You: It’s a date. [6:17 PM]

Hardly able to believe your luck, you fingers fly to Mark.

Y/N: We’re going to dinner next Friday. Can you believe? Thank you!! [6:18 PM]

Mark’s response is slower this time.

Mark: You’re welcome. Have a good time, Y/N [6:20 PM]

You set down your phone, glancing at your kitchen as you rub your eyes. Looking around, you realize that Jake has never been inside your apartment. When you two went out last time, he picked you up outside. Texted he was here and waited in the driveway.

He didn’t even come to the door, now that you think of it. Had the situation been reversed, you would have wanted to see his house. You would have wanted to know about his life.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re typing another message.

Y/N: So Mark. Just out of curiosity, let’s say you were going on a date. Let’s say you picked her up at her house. How would you let her know you were there? [6:25 PM]

Mark: Huh? [6:27 PM]

Y/N: Like, would you honk the horn? Give her a call? Throw a rock at her window? [6:28 PM]

Mark: Haha I would go to her door. Maybe I’m nosy, but I think a person’s house says a lot about them. [6:29 PM] 

A tingle trails the base of your spine.

Y/N: Really? How so? [6:30 PM]

It’s a long minute before your phone dings again.

Mark: I don’t know, a lot of ways. Take me, okay? My home is spotless but that’s only because I work a lot. I spend most of my nights here at the fire station, sleeping in bunk beds. [6:32 PM]

Your eyebrows rise. That wasn’t the profession you would have guessed.

Y/N: So that explains why you were up at one in the morning, answering my drunk texts. [6:34 PM]

Mark: Exactly. I’m a firefighter with a hero complex. Show me a basket case about to go home with a jerk and I’ll send you sassy texts, filled with vaguely disparaging remarks about how you’re better than that. [6:36 PM]

You laugh out loud, just as Jen enters the kitchen. Her gaze flickers to the phone in your hand.

“Oo, did Jake finally text back?”

A flush stains your cheeks. “Uh, yeah. He did.”

Jumping up, Jen claps her hands together. “That’s so exciting! Are you two going out?” She starts to open up kitchen cabinets, pulling down a can of soup and a bowl.

“Yeah, next Friday night.”

Jen turns, fixing you with an oddly critical stare. “You don’t seem that excited about it.”

“I am!” you protest, smiling to hide your confusion. “I just – I’m hungover still.”

Jen makes a whoops face. “Oh, shit. I guess for future reference – five tequila shots are too many for you.”

As you slide your cell phone into your pocket, you laugh. “Five tequila shots are too many for any human, not just me, Jen.” 

You’re not sure why you don’t tell Jen about Mark.

That night you’re lying in bed, trying to decide what to wear on Friday when - ding.

Mark: So you never told me what you do for a living. [10:11 PM]

Your stomach flutters. Mark. 

Y/N: Marketing. Product testing for a local company. Nothing quite as gallant as fire-fighting. [10:12 PM]

Mark: Ah, yes. I often feel so gallant putting on canvas colored overalls. The sexiest though, is when sweat just pours down my face and pools in my jacket. That’s the pinnacle. [10:14 PM]

Y/N: Hot. [10:14 PM]

Mark: *Groans* I hope you didn’t mean that as a pun. [10:15 PM]

You laugh, surprised he understood.

Y/N:… shh, you don’t know me [10:16 PM]

Mark: Apparently I do. But actually I’ve always found marketing interesting. The concept is very psychological. [10:17 PM]

Y/N: Ding, ding, ding! I was, indeed a Psych major in college. [10:18 PM]

Mark: Let’s play a game, then. [10:19 PM]

Y/N: What kind of game? [10:20 PM]

Mark: I want to guess what your apartment looks like based on your profession. [10:21 PM]

You laugh, quieting as your gaze moves to the hall. You don’t want to wake up Jen up. Texting back, you grin.

Y/N: Go on. [10:22 PM] 

Mark: You have plants. [10:22 PM]

Y/N: Well, that’s not hard. Most people have plants. [10:23 PM]

Mark: I don’t. [10:24 PM]

Y/N: Most people with hearts have plants. [10:24 PM]

Mark: Ouch. You wound me. Y/N. You also have Christmas lights wrapped someplace they shouldn’t be even though Christmas is long gone. [10:25 PM]

You blush remembering the plant you and Jen have strung with twinkling white lights. It’s left in your kitchen year-round as a sort of night light.

Y/N: Okay, I’ll give you that one. [10:26 PM]

Mark: You have too many pillows and blankets. Enough that were we so inclined, we could make a blanket fort. [10:27 PM]

For some reason, Mark’s use of the word we makes your heart pound. This is silly, you think. Setting your phone down to rub at your temples. You don’t know Mark. You don’t know what he looks like. He could be old or balding or have a giant, hook nose.

Before you can stop yourself, you’re typing again.

Y/N: How old are you? [10:29 PM]

Mark’s ellipses blink. Pause. Blink again.

Mark: Is this because of the blanket fort thing? I’m twenty five. You? [10:30 PM]

Y/N: Twenty four. [10:31 PM]

Mark: Okay, so now that we’ve established we’re both in our mid-twenties, will you please confirm or deny the blankets thing. [10:32 PM]

You laugh out loud, realizing that this is the most you’ve laughed in a while. Especially over a guy. 

Y/N: You’re right. Screw the fort, I have enough blankets to make a whole house. [10:33 PM]

As your phone chimes, you settle down into your sheets. Somehow between one comment and the next, you don’t end up falling asleep until much, much later that night.

“So you and this guy have just been … texting?” Jen sounds skeptical.

Fighting back your blush, you take a long sip of your drink. “Yeah. I mean, it’s no big deal.”

Her eyebrows shoot higher. “If it’s not a big deal, why haven’t you told Jake?”

She has a point. It’s been three weeks since your second date with Jake and now you’re ‘officially dating.’ His words, not yours. You still haven’t quite forgotten Mark’s original advice:

Make sure you stay in control.

Still, you shift beneath Jen’s gaze. “It’s just … the timing has never been great.”

“In three weeks?” Jen laughs. “I don’t know, Y/N. When is the right time to say, hey you only started dating me because this guy told me what to do. Oh, and we still talk every day. Every night. Literally all the time. But hey! No big deal.”

Your cheeks are crimson. “It’s not every day,” you grumble.

Jen grabs your phone, swiping right to punch in your code before you can protest. “Aha!”

“I never should have told you my password,” you sigh, sinking into your seat.

“One new message from Mark!” Jen exclaims, clearing her throat. “Jackson brought home a blanket and I blame you. Why? Because I told him you had enough for a fort and now he’s concerned our apartment isn’t inviting enough. He’s now trying to make our place ‘livable.’ Please send help.”

Jen arches her eyebrows over the top of your phone.

“Give me that,” you say, snatching your phone from her hand.

“He sounds cute.” Jen’s mouth curves upwards. “Is he cute?”

“I don’t know,” you say stiffly, shoving you phone in your pocket.

“Oh, please.” Jen pushes her hair back. “You’re telling me you’ve been texting this guy for weeks and have yet to find out what he looks like?”

Sinking even further into your chair, you mumble, “I decided I don’t want to know.”

Jen stares at you like you’re crazy. “Why not?”

“I don’t want to get too involved”

“Too involved?” Her eyes widen. “I got news, honey. This is the definition of involved. You talk to Mark more than you do to your boyfriend, Jake. Oh – did you forget about him?”

“Jake and I just started dating,” you explain, not quite able to meet her gaze. “It’s not like we’re married or something.”

“Right.” Jen’s expression softens. “I get it – Mark is sweet and funny and interesting. But he’s a phantom, babe. Someone who only exists on paper. If you met in real life, it would be just as awkward and unsure as any other guy. Like Jake.”

“What?” Your gaze shoots to hers. “I like Jake!”

“You do. But not enough to stop texting Mark.”

This shuts you up and you lean back, considering. Groaning, when you bury your face in your arms. “Oh, god,” you moan. “You’re right. What’s wrong with me? Jake is gorgeous and I’ve wanted him since forever. Why can’t I just be happy?”

“Beats me.” 

When you swat at Jen, she laughs. 

“Okay,” you say, sitting up straight. “I’ll stop texting Mark. Focus on Jake.”

“Good.” A small, but evil grin spreads across Jen’s face. “And I’ll just … find out what Mark looks like because it’s literally killing me.”

“Jen!” You protest, grabbing for her hand but she’s too fast. Jen is already typing, searching through Google.

“He has our area code,” she muses. “So he must be a local fire fighter.” Your best friend squints at her phone, smacking your hand when you reach across the table.

“Jen.” Giving up, you sink down into your arms again. “I don’t want to know.”

Until she utters a soft swear. “Holy shit.”

“What?” you say, concerned as you peep through your fingertips. “What is it?”

Wordlessly, Jen turns her phone around. “Why are you the fucking luckiest girl on earth?”

Your mouth drops.

[Master List]

Author’s Note: 500 notes! Thank you so, so much for reading. Please enjoy parts II and III at the Master List above.

#mark tuan #got7 mark #mark got7 #got7 fanfic #mark tuan fanfic #got7 mark fanfic #mark tuan fic #got7 fic #got7 mark fic #Control #mark tuan fluff #mark tuan angst #got7 mark fluff #got7 mark angst