#not again i cant do that shit again

[lemongogo]

#wyll #wyll ravengard #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #my art #larian job openings but none for wyll fanartizt … hmmm…. #.. change that and get back 2 me ok. … #anywyas . <looove saying anyways ~ #rediscovering this brush and its kind of fun tbh.. i love the patchiness of the marker but this is soo round and full #and i like the opacity shift on the ends bc it looks so smooth .. like the subtle blending #do u see the mizora .i almost drew her w but i didnt want to make wyll scowl and you know he doesnt gaf abt her like thagt so. #aug.anyways . im soo soeepy .tired snzzz snorrkkmimi #MANN!!!! i havent played since they fixed the wyll glitch and i want to soosos soo bad (crying hamster pic) #k mneed to . draw more fomplete stuff again sry for headshot soft smile number 332 #this feels more him to me .. i dont like the first pic i posted . whichever one is colored #🫵🫵🫵 i cant render faces for shit w color .woe is me #on the right track though i do like this 1 more . not there yet but SOON.for wyll at least HELPPPP i drew a few astsrions and shadowhearts #but no1 else ..

[lamina-tsrif]

BONE TO BE WILD!

#one piece #brook #one piece brook #og art #OUGH. #BROOK IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES AND ITS A DAMN SHAME I CANT FIND ENOUGH ART OF HIM #ALSO. WHATS WRONG WITH YALL. #THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM DRAWING ON A CANVAS BIGGER THAN 4X4 INCHES. #HOW DO YOU HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THIS SHIT #. IM GOING TO DO IT AGAIN #FINALLY BEING ABLE TO RENDER W/O IT PIXELATING? MAGIC

[suntails]

the general’s son

#why has nobody drawn silver or sebek in the Newly Dropped briar valley soldier outfits huh??? why. theyre literally training for the role #having to do EVERYTHING myself frantically shitting this out in my last 3 hrs of free time tn #sry sebek i didnt have time to draw u both </3 maybee eventually. maybe someone else will carry that torch on my behalf #the briar valley soldier fits are...so fuckign cool. like obv lilia's looks cooler than the mob guys but im assuming his gets General Perks #gestures vaguely. u know what im like. okay i cant draw for like 4 days now at LEAST and im abt to have 60hr workweeks again so uhhhhhh :) #twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #book 7 spoilers #twst silver #silver vanrouge #suntails

[birdricks]

how does it feel? better? no? exactly the same?

#it always does. #FUCKKKK MAN #rick and morty #rick sanchez #rnm spoilers #rick and morty spoilers #just smth kinda quick bc. good god that ep. #I WILL DRAW MORE I SWEAR. THERE ARE A BILLION LINES TEARING ME TO SHREDS #? sorry for drawing him covered in blood again. didnt realise that was gonna be a theme #included an alt version w no effects and no blend mode on the blood. thought it looked cool #oh my god tho. that scene was ROUGH. #rick not talking thru a scene is like. already indication enough that hes fucked #but then u have like. mortys voice fading away. FUCK. AND THE SONG MAN #cant do this shit anymore. bye #cw blood #artsbotz #cw eyestrain

[skitastc]

...Silly

#bang brave bang bravern #yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern #fanart #fan art #doodle #coming to post on tumblr again just for this man #maybe #I cant draw mechs for shit #I ment where I cant handle their damn designs #if I do a full body

[transmascissues]

i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.

first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.

(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)

i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.

and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.

and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.

i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.

#if there are typos in this no there arent. im so out of it rn you cant hold me responsible for that shit #filing today in the ‘pretend it didnt happen at all costs until i see my therapist’ folder bc uh. fucking hell #it feels silly to say this about a doctors appointment but that might genuinely fuck me up long term #like ik these are important visits but. i do not know if i’ll be able to make myself go again after that #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye

#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him #he never comes out the same way twice #but then again. do any of us? #anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain #its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor #too much all at once. cant art anymore #i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw #and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort #i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible. #i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen #i come back to scroll on tumblr #i feel Despair. rinse and repeat #scribble salad #is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile! #i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move #sigh... dont wanna go.... #but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all! #apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle #too exhausted. the Despair is too strong #and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit

[tomlinsun]

☆ HERE(2).zip ☆

#its me again i love rhis photoshoot so much i cant believe this is my life #seventeen #svt #svtsource #svtdaily #svtedit #its friday so this is probably gonna flop but idc we got a colorful photoshoot set + FIVE OF THEM IN SKIRTS IF U COUNT SCOUPS #this is monumental i had to do something #also that middle pic made me tear up so bad lmao im in this svt shit forever bro #scoups #jeonghan #joshua #jun #hoshi #wonwoo #woozi #dk #mingyu #minghao #the8 #seungkwan #vernon #dino #mine

[doroinoue]

nikaido tries to guess aikawa's age

(do not tag as ship)

#dorohedoro #drhdr #ドロヘドロ #dorohedoro fanart #aikawa dorohedoro #aikawa #nikaido #nikaido dorohedoro #animatic #guys i cant lie this sucked the life out of me #im never doing animatics again #also never drawing aikawas mask again this shit ruined my life... #sorry for all the inconsistencies btw #as you can probably tell i dont do these often #but it was kinda fun still #i remembered this audio and i was like #Wait this is literally aikawa #sooo #there u have it

[not-equippedforthis]

spock's brain s3e1

#what an episode. what an episode. #listen i do NOT accept the 'its the worst episode of tos' NO. NONONO. #is it good? fuck no. but it is NOT the worst #spocks brain is my fucked up little dog i found on the side of the road #entertaining as shit. end of discussion. #not equipped for rambling #star trek tos #tos #star trek #star trek the original series #spock's brain #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #tos spock #you cannot call spocks brain the worst when the paradise syndrome and omega glory sit right there #granted the paradise syndrome is just real bad imo (apart from the spones content. but even then.) #the omega glory is saved by it being the funniest fucking bullshit ive ever seen. tears in my eyes #they took his brain THEY TOOK HIS BRAIN. JUST. STOLE IT. #I CANT HATE IT THATS SO FUNNY #shout out to the post i reblogged below that reminded me of it again. ily.

[starwikia]

suicide cw

look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 

ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.

this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.

He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!

you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.

it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 

what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!

yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).

The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.

#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post. #before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly #again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but. #he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin. #its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it #its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people #we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves #so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit #like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it? #yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice. #this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi #gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism #its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt #if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions. #hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him #like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me. #its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it. #for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong #oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this. #james somerton #idk might delete this later its just. ugh...

[hms-incorrect-quotes]

Due to this being the strike week for Palestine, I wont be posting any quotes for the whole week & instead reblogging any helpful posts that support Palestine that I see. [This includes the Headcanons blog as well.]

Please help out in anyway you can!!! Even if you cant donate, spread the word. A free easy thing you can do daily is even to just click a button.

Twitter seemed more active and posted more information & aid last time so please look there as well!

#again twitter is more active so i suggest you go there however please spread & help out as much as you can here as well #one person or post makes all the difference!!! #this account & my main will have the most reblogged things since thats the best way i can spread info #as for the less important things: #Due to tumblr having a shit way to edit posts in the queue some posts will still get through [hell you cant even edit/delete certain posts] #The lyric blog especially won't let me change anything so its just stuck posting daily #again please reblog & do as much as you can this stuff really helps #not a quote but still important

[cowardlykrow]

After Cyn's done tryna kill him, she'll eventually relent and they can get to work... whatever that is. I didn't do the outfit any justice, but the second i saw the Cowboy!Curt mega @ricky-mortis made i was literally like, "yes, that is IT."

This is, in my heart, a cannon fit for this au

#And if you disagree... well i cant hear you #K but i really am bad at clothes lol! and this weird pose kinda threw me off pretty hard so i will also blame that... #but i will do better next time #I am again letting people know his horse is 100% named after Cynthia because of the occasional attempts on his life 👍 #I think i'll dub this a Try hard Doodle because thats what it is actually #and now for me talking way to much in that tags because i'm a terror: #I was going to pair this with another drawing that actually features curtwen btw #but my wrist said “No” #so maybe tomorrow? #(also... i have never actually drawn a person ON a horse before so this was really weird to do #this was actually a full body image... and then i halved it but then i couldn't do his foot? so i halved it again!) #Saf #spies are forever #cowboys are forever #<- WOULD watch the shit outta that [laughing at the idea of all the songs made really really country] #Cowboys your spies #Also some fun but also pretty dumb Au stuff: my vers of this au has always taken place in the wildwest in my head #so around 1865 to 1895 #Art #and finally... OTL when the horse is better then the human #is the fact i drew animals for a majority of my life really obvious yet

[dumbbullet]

a while back i saw this piece of art by waricka, and then later had a conversation about alphonse mucha and art nouveau and so, Mucha inspired TOG tour poster.

Edit: heres Mucha's original work i used for reference!

#sleep token #dumb doodles #sleep token vessel #teeth of god tour #alphonse mucha #vessel sleep token #sleep token art #I might have a handful of these to pass out at the shows im going to #but more on that later #also shoutout to a homie in the discord for catching my text errors holy shit i cant spell #this was a fun study! I'll never do it again!

[ink-the-artist]

random question, do you think it's possible for someone who has lost their creativity to regain it? ..asking for a friend..

im not sure what your situation is, but i believe everyone has creative potential just from being a human being and you cant just permanently lose your creativity. i struggle with losing creativity at times, usually its when I go into a depressive period. I usually just keep making art through it, ill look through old ideas I wrote down or work on commissions just stuff that doesnt require a ton of creativity but keeps me working on art. even if I dont feel good doing it just doing the work of making art helps me to eventually want to make art again

#i dont rly have any advice for this sorry #but this kind of sounds like burnout #idk if what I do will work for you or not all i can really do is share how i deal w it #i go in and out of depressive episodes kind of like bipolar but without manic episodes #i just feel like total shit for some weeks or months and then feel normal again and its independent of enviornmental stuff or triggers #i cant rly do anything about it except try to lessen the depression w meds and such

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

i think the actual disconnect between nie mingjue and jin guangyao is that nie mingjue is dying and knows he's dying and has to stick so so so closely to his morals and virtues or else it'll have been for nothing and then he'll have to come to terms with the fact that maybe he didn't actually have to die after all vs jin guangyao who wants to live, he wants to live and be safe and have all the things he was told he could never have-was told he was never good enough to have-and will do almost anything to make it so. and these are two like irreconcilable point of views right (and both Correct and Wrong at the same time) and so they can't understand each other because they aren't even having the same argument and neither of them can see that

#nie mingjue #jin guangyao #nieyao #it's good!!! #i think nmj never expected to survive the war against the wen too maybe so after he's both floundering and STILL dying #characters that didn't HAVE to die like that but did anyways because societal/family/narrative pressure etc >>>>>>> #⚰️ #I've been told it's real sweet to grow old #i think there's also this disconnect between the two of them in the story as a whole re that steinberg quote i posted earlier about kleos #nostos (glory seeking vs home coming) #where jgy is the kleos or glory seeker and nmj SHOULD be the nostos (@ #(and he IS to an extent) but also he ISNT because again he is dying-he knows hes dying you cant extract that from his character #and so there SHOULD be this conflict here from that but there just isnt because nmj isnt filling that role properly and i think that's part #of why jgy cant understand him #jgy is the kleos but nmj isnt a glory seeker (not outside of like the war and he's not doing that for glory etc) but he's also not nostos #he's theseus in the king must die #(sorry for referencing a bunch of shit in th tags pls pls pls ignore my rambling to myself about characters that are barely ever on page/ #screen and so we can never actually fully contextualize them because we dont actually know them but oh boy oh boy can we try) #so like what does a guy who will (allegedly) give up anyone and anything domestic to gain/retain status do against a guy who otherwise #would be the opposite and unwilling/unable to sacrifice anyone for these things do when said guy does neither 🤷‍♀️ #mine