bad svsss fanfic/au idea: random marriage/guidance counselor transmigrates into PIDW, sees the absolute mess of lord luo bingge and his harem, goes "jesus fucking christ", and makes bank.
and like. they're probably not even that good of a counselor. it's just that people lack any sense when it comes to bingge, and since he's the emperor, that means pretty much everyone. also because therapy doesn't exist. i'll give them some credit though, whatever they hell they're doing works.
now, while sqq and sqh are having a grand ol' time in SVSSS with their husbands, this random, average counselor has to deal with being in the care of lord luo bingge. no wife beam. no anything. all they have is some basic empathy and common sense people just tend to lack in here for some reason.
it's even worse considering the fact that they've arrived after luo bingge completed his plan and became the hailed demon emperor. now, while they've never full on read the entire thing, they've heard enough from a close friend who has kept up with it to know the main character is the literal embodiment of the cycle of abuse and heavy unresolved issues. like, it got to the point where they started to unironically use luo bingge as an example of how to not deal with conflicts and trauma.
really, how could people like bingge? seriously, it's just another edge lord main character with way too many glamorized issues and abuse. red flag! (hey, who the hell is peerless cucumber and why does he keep defending binghe? lord, have mercy on these impressionable young men...)
so, after being kidnapped taken in by bingge and his wives after the bunch claimed that they were a "wise man" or whatever (all they did was offer some basic relationship advice to some poor woman, who turned out to be ning yingying, who told the other wives, and it just spiraled from there), they were deemed "special" and given their personal office and a room! hey, better than being on the streets in this god forsaken hentai-ish world, i guess.
quickly, a routine was established. one that, especially, consisted of luo bingge outright ignoring them. which, they weren't complaining about!
wake up, eat, meet with multiple of the wives, spend their hard earned money on delicious delicacies, meet with more wives, sleep, repeat. the most interaction they had with the demon emperor was him ordering them around, but even then, that was uncommon. it was, surprisingly, easy to fall into the rhythm of this undoubtedly odd life. you're upset that lord luo hasn't spent much time with you? maybe you can ask! the other wives are being annoying? remove yourself from the situation. you're upset that lord luo has so many other wives? oohhh... yeah. uhm.
luo binghe only tolerated them, they knew that. and they're sure that, if not for multiple of his wives insisting on keeping them, they'd be dead for even daring to be so "intimate" with them. a little bit of a shock, if they do say so themself. like, insecure much (something that they'll probably never get used to is the fact that bingge built an entire little village for his wives, though)?
but that's not the most shocking thing, oh, no.
it's this.
"i- i tried.. i tried to take the.. hiic-- other.. other shizun w-with me.." lord luo binghe, the powerful, almighty demon emperor, trembles and sobs. "b-but he! he wanted to-- s-stay with that.. stupid, inferior version of my- hic- self.."
despite the mountain of gold they're getting paid in, is it really enough to deal with this? probably not. will they get killed for witnessing luo binghe's vulnerability? perhaps. is he a dictator, the embodiment of the cycle of abuse, and a crazily vengeful bastard? definitely.
"it's-- s' not.." his voice breaks. something else inside of them probably does, too. "..n-not, hiic- fair."
should they feel bad? they shouldn't. he's hurt much too many people. isn't it a little late? can he even be redeemed? because, they are absolutely not here to try and "fix" him.
and yet.
"can you breathe, lord luo? deep breaths, don't focus on anything else but me, okay? i'll do it with you too. can you do that for me? there, there. you're doing a very good job, do you know that? here, when i'm upset, sometimes i like to do something called, '5-4-3-2-1'. i promise it'll help, binghe. would you like for me to do this one with you too?"
they can't help but think about a small, lonely boy on qing jing peak.
. . .
after that, bingbing slowly starts to come around and develop an actual bond! cool!! he just,,, can't believe only his wives were granted the "wisdom". how foolish was he?
"i know i'm only a mere human, but i can tell that lord luo is... masking things. you can put that away for now, okay? i promise, everything you say here will be confidential information, and it'll never leak... no no there's no enemy spies here-"
"i'm not even going to question this. you go back there right now and deal with it yourself if you cannot respect me or the other clients. aka, your wives."
"no, it's not stupid. this is how people help themself, and it's okay if you want to do it. as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody. it helps, and that's all that matters."
"oh? one of your wife confronted to you about it? i'm glad to hear that, she's doing well, i see. i'm also happy that you're listening too, really."
"yes, and when something like that happens, you--- no- don't pull out xin mo now. what did we say about that? good job."
"here, can i touch your hands, binghe? there we go. when you're unsteady, you feel the need to pick at your skin, correct? well, let's try a few different things to keep those hands busy! it must be quite stressful being an emperor. how about we start with crocheting! it's quite popular back at my hometown."
"your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, lord luo. hey, how about you take a small break and visit her, okay? you want me to come with you? of course, it'd be an honor."
and thus, the story of the poor transmigrator counselor continues on with luo bingge added to their schedule!! this could be read as romantic or platonic lol. but i was thinking of this as luo bingge obtaining his first actual friend. it takes a long while due to bingge's... bingge-ness, but eventually it all works out lmao
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SO. This piece of work.
I honestly thought Halbrand being Sauron would have been so on the nose, but somehow, they managed to make it absolutely fucking terrifying.
Think about it. He was pulling every single thread from the very beginning, with deadly purpose and terrifying precision. He knew exactly was he was doing at every step, the whole time.
Yes, even if he was feeling repentant at any point, as published canon tells us he was -- I’ll be damned if he didn’t always have the option to completely drop the repentant ordinary life in Númenor the minute he ran into something that forced his hand, like Galadriel did, in the back of his mind. Or, even if she hadn’t -- the minute he got bored of playing ordinary smith.
And he would have. Yes, yes, he would -- he has a mind like a subtle knife. The very second he got bored...
He let Galadriel learn the truth about him. He had no reason to keep playing peaceful king -- he’d seen Celebrimbor at work, seen the elves’ panic first hand, seen Mordor take shape, seen all the key pieces having been moved into the right places.
He could have spun an actual, spoken lie, this time: that the line of the kings hadn’t been broken, that he was the very last survivor of a bloodline that had hidden itself for centuries. It would have been as easy to him as breathing.
But where’s the fun in that?
Where’s the conquest?
Why reign over an insignificant little mortal kingdom when you can have all of Middle-earth gripped in an iron fist?
Who wants mere subjects when you can have worshippers?
Fuck repentance. Let the true king finally take what’s his. Tell Galadriel the truth.
Again.
That’s all he ever did. Not one lie, not once.
He is so horrifically good at what he does that he doesn’t even need to lie to deceive people.
He’s Sauron the Deceiver, after all.
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