Ahora ya sabe con certeza que los relatos no son inocentes, no del todo inocentes. Quizá tampoco lo sean las conversaciones de diario, los descuidos y equívocos verbales o el hablar por hablar. Quizá ni siquiera lo que se habla en sueños sea del todo inocente. Hay algo en las palabras que, ya de por sí, entraña un riesgo, una amenaza, y no es verdad que el viento se las lleve tan fácilmente como dicen. No es verdad. Puede ocurrir que ciertos ecos de los dichos, y hasta de los dichos más triviales, sigan como en letargo durante muchos años, latiendo débilmente en un rincón de la memoria, esperando una segunda oportunidad de regresar al presente para aumentar y corregir lo que no quedó del todo claro en su momento, y a menudo con una elocuencia y un alcance significativo que exceden con mucho a los que tuvieron en su origen. Ahí están, no hay más que verlos, llegan revestidos con extraños ropajes, al son de músicas exóticas, con trazas nunca vistas, y es que traen noticias, grandes y asombrosas noticias, de un pasado que acaso no existió jamás. Y siempre, siempre, los relatos o las palabras que vuelven de los oscuros ámbitos de la memoria llegan en son de guerra, cargados de agravios, y ansiosos de reivindicación y de discordia.(...)
-Lluvia fina/Luis Landero
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What about Logan as the bard king's advisor. Logan and Youngblood weren't exactly friends, they were colleagues but Logan was fond enough of her to be worried by the obvious stress and burnout she was going through. But Logan's position as "advisor" is precarious at best and she knows the bard king doesn't take well to being criticised or told what to do. She's been building her way up to lightly suggesting that the bard king gives Youngblood a break when Noise comes in to say exactly that.
Logan doesn't know Noise at all but she's seen them around with Youngblood. She's seen how deep their bond goes and how the first chair position has been taking toll on their friendship. She doesn't know where this bandage on Noise came from - had there been a battle recently? Why wasn't she informed?
Logan is actually in the room when the bard king takes out Noise's eye for their insolence. Noise doesn't know that she's there, she's standing in the shadows out of the way as the bard king prefers. She's horrified at how cruel and brutal it is, how unnecessary. She was about to say almost the same thing, that could have been her. And Noise is clearly already injured!!
Afterwards, Logan goes to find Noise and helps him recover from everything. Noise doesn't know her but theyre in too much pain, too weak and afraid, to protest her help.
Logan's naturally very concerned when she realises that Noise's wound is from a burn and that there was in fact no battle that could have caused it. Shes even more concerned when Youngblood leaves out of the blue with no warning, even with her best and only friend being so injured. What happened? Youngblood wouldn't hurt Noise, would she? Logan never manages to ask exactly, she doesn't want to bring back bad memories, but she begins piecing together what might have happened from clues in what Noise says.
When Noise is recovered enough to be actually lucid again, he's horribly ashamed at being so vulnerable around a stranger, so weak as to need help. But once they are - bizarrely - promoted to first chair, Logan becomes a valuable ally and guide in that new role. She helps Noise regain his fighting ability, adapt to his injuries, while not overworking himself. (She's very strict about that)
And more importantly, Logan becomes the friend Noise so desperately needs after being left alone and reeling by Youngblood's betrayal.
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"well," he says, working to keep his voice level. keep the jealousy tempered. now is not the time for it. "i suppose if you get truly desperate you could just...do it again."
"do what?" she asks. she knows what. she means to make him say it.
"bring him back."
she stares at the new headstone. the freshly disturbed earth. "even for me, bringing a life back from death is no easy feat," she says. softer, she adds, "it nearly broke him the first time. those little pieces that stayed behind; cracks in the psyche that never mended properly."
"he didn't want you to, did he?" he asks. he knows the answer. he means to make her say it.
"swear on the kid you won't fucking do that shit again," she quotes.
"did you?"
"it was the only thing he ever truly asked of me."
"but did you mean it?"
"i had no choice."
he raises an eyebrow, smirks just a little, and dares to place a hand on the small of her back and step closer. "my dear if there's one thing i know to be true, it's that you fought and bled and occasionally even died to get yourself the freedom of choice."
he's not attempting to flatter. it still works, just a bit.
"then, i suppose, i'm choosing to love him enough to give him this," she says.
the two lapse once more into silence. he removes his hand from her back, and for the first time since the day began, she turns to look at him.
"why did you come?" she asks. she thinks she knows why. she doesn't think she wants to hear it. she needs to hear it.
"there was once a time my being here would have been to gloat," he says, and she is unsurprised. "but i think now... it felt necessary."
confusion dances across her face, gone in an instant.
"necessary?"
"no one else knew him like you and i," he says, "no one else will give a damn about his passing, and given so much of our time spent together was by necessity, it felt like this was just... one last requirement."
anger. gone as fast as the confusion.
"requirement?" it stays in her voice.
he looks at her. "we only dealt with each other because of you and the girl, it's no secret we never became friends. it feels like a requirement to be here, to send him off, but if i'm honest. it also feels like the right thing to do. like book ends, i suppose."
the anger dissipates. she turns back to the headstone. she doesn't disagree. she won't admit it. not here, not now. not when it feels like conceding even the tiniest bit of power to him.
for all he's done over the years, he has not earned the right to have any power over her. not anymore. not ever again. the two of them will move forward, as equals, or not at all.
but now is not the time or place for that discussion either.
instead, she says, "would you like to get coffee?"
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