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monstertsunami · 1 year

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okay i cannot for the life of me remember the names of the pafl people (i am. bad at names. as evidenced by me not having one) so gimmie the pafl ship you've got Brainworms about right now. not in the sense of love or hate, but the one that just has a specific rant locked n loaded for and which leaves you awake at night.

HI HIII IDC THAT YOU DONT KNOW THEIR NAMES IM JUST SO HAPPY THAT YOURE SENDING ME AN ASK ABT MY FIXATION DESPITE KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT IT <333<3333<3

temnova/olya would be way too obvious for this SO instead im gonna ramble abt sergei/olya my favorite ever (so-called) m/f ship<3<3

forgive me in advance for fumbling my analysis bc words do not come to me well n settling with the second-best word choice always ends up skewing the meaning.. i am also not good at organizing my thoughts at all lol :p

sergolya (made up the ship name myself bc idk if theres a widley used one oops) is a canon ship and thats why its GOOOD. bc pafl is like. REALISTIC and not in the annoying nihilistic grimdark way but just in the way that the characters feel so natural with how they interact with each other and the world and how they react to situations and how situations effect them... its just. real as fuck. absolutely insane skill on ferry's part. but this is REALLY GOOD for every pafl relationship, romantic or not, because they're complex.

sergei and olya have a flawed relationship! theres a lack of communication, sergei being sergei, olya being olya, etc. but its still so so obvious that they love each other DEEPLY! maybe olya's blinded by her insecurities and maybe sergei doesnt externalize it in an obvious way, but when you look even an inch deep into their motivations throughout the entire story, especially when they make poor decisions, its just intertwined with their love for each other.

now where sergolya REALLY gets developed is in The Mill, which specifically touches on olya's insecurities and sergei's overbearing-ness. yes this is why its my favorite pafl song :3

olya appears stoic and logical, she never looks affected by anything, she is taking a fucking prison sentence with stride. but shes still a very emotional person at heart, shown by her affection towards anya, some random kid that keeps following her home, and her getting so attatched to a mutant that she puts herself at risk to keep him safe. all very illogical, emotion driven actions that you wouldnt expect from her based on her external disposition. olya is not as untouchable as she lets off, and she is especially deeply affected by nikita's view of her. (even before kolya's death he was an asshole. fucking misogynist) she cant help but take nikita's harsh words to heart, and that effects her and sergei's relationship. she's terribly afraid of opening up to him in fear that he will leave her the same as nikita left nadya, and has trouble internalizing and accepting the love he expresses to her. she desperately wants to ask for some reassurance, some promise that he wouldnt one day just decide that shes too much of a burden, that shes not worth it anymore, and abandon her. she DESPERATELY wants him to love her, but she just cant accept that he already does love her for herself.

"ill draw a circle in the sand / drive myself around the bend / in a desperate attempt to hold onto your battered hand"

now this is where the dramatic irony comes in. because seeing his internal monologue in the mill, the same song where olya was lamenting about all that, it is very very obvious that he cares so deeply for olya. now sergei has his issue with being overbearing and overprotective when it comes to those he loves, sheltering sanya to the point where she acts out and befriends yura. its his primary flaw, but god if it isnt the most prominent indicator of sergei's attachment to a person. once you know that about him and how he expresses those types of emotions, he practically wears his heart on his sleeve. he wants what he thinks is best for her and sanya and he really DOES care so so much about them both but he doesnt stop to think and its so. oh my god i just love them both so much u dont understand.

"now my only hope is that one day youll understand / ill wrap the chain round my heart and her hammering neck / and save whats left / though i know that someday this weight will come to break my back"

just the way that sergei and olya have such similar problems that manifest in different ways to affect their relationship. olya masks her emotions bc of experiences with misogyny and shes trying to be a Strong Woman and.. sergei masks his bc the environment he grew up in (& his own experiences and traumas) fostering toxic masculinity(???) and poor coping mechanisms. and so its this ouroboros of poor comminication because sergei doesnt know how to show olya he loves her and he doesnt even know thst she needs that because she wont TELL him and then SHE goes on to think that sergeis percieved indifference is his lack of affection and CONTINUES not telling him out of fear of rejection. i. UGH. these two are destroying my mind

thanks for reading if u got this far. have my favorite official sergolya doodles

(i could write an extra essay on my thoughts abt these doodles specifically as well but ill spare you<3)

#:3 #sorry this took 4 ever to answer i had to find time to sit down and write this all #BUT I AM SOO HAPPY THAT UR INDULGING ME IN MY WEIRD INTERESTS THAT U KNOW NOTHING ABT #SQUEE #sergei #olya #boss makes a dollar i make a dime thats why i answer asks on company time #pafl #schziobabble #long enough to go in my talk tag

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werewolfdays · 5 years

Text

Revelations

in which Nadya finds out the truth about Jayde-

Walking out of Nadya’s room in the morning, I found her studying at the coffee table in the living room. The simplicity of her silent concentration was calming and the warm morning sunlight coming through the window almost made her look ethereal.

“I think I should leave tomorrow.” I told her. Being here for nearly a week was already too long. Technically, I should’ve left sooner, but there was something that made me want to stay. Well... someone if I was truly being honest with myself. I couldn’t let my fondness for Nadya cost her her life.

Nadya stared up at me in shock, completely forgetting her work, “Jayde, you’re still in the beginning stages of recovery.”

I wasn’t sure how I could reassure her without giving away my ability to heal quickly. My wounds were still present, but they were mostly healed by now. Even felt confident enough to fight if I needed to. “I know, but I really think I’ll be okay. I shouldn’t stay here much longer, it’s not safe for either of us.”

“Let me check your injuries.” Nadya stood, moving closer to me and reaching out to lift my shirt up.

I took a couple panicked steps back. “Uh, n-no, it’s fine. Really.”

“What do you mean?” Nadya asked in confusion. “I’m a nurse, Jayde, I’m more than qualified to say if you’re recovered enough or not.”

“And I’ve been hurt before, I know what my body is capable of.” I replied, folding my arms defensively.

Nadya narrowed her eyes at me, concern brightening her brown eyes. “Why are you being weird all of a sudden? Are your wounds infected or something? I can fix it, Jayde.”

“No,” I was starting to grow impatient, unsure of how I would get her to let it go. “Just drop it, okay? I promise you, I’m fine.”

“I can’t let you leave in good conscience if I don’t at least know that you’re recovering well. If I let you go and you wind up back in the hospital or dead in an alley somewhere...” she shook her head at me and those damn doe-eyes were making this far more difficult than it needed to be. “I don’t know what I would do.”

Goddammit, she was so hard to refuse. “Fine.” I said, slowly unfolding my arms and running through all the possible excuses I could make for when she inevitably notices that I’ve healed far quicker than a normal person. At least she wouldn’t be able to say I wasn’t recovered enough.

Nadya smiled at me, “Thank you.” She led me to the kitchen, sitting down so she could be at eye level with my torso. After she put her glasses on, Nadya lifted my shirt and I held it up for her as she carefully peeled back the bandage on my side. I stared at the wall, dreading her reaction. “What the hell…” Nadya mumbled. I felt her fingers brush lightly over the wound, causing goosebumps to form on my skin. Without looking, I knew it resembled a fresh scar more than a healing injury.

“See?” I said calmly. “I’ll be good to go tomorrow.”

“I don’t understand.” Nadya leaned back to look at me, her expression baffled. “That’s like… a month of healing.”

“It’s a dietary thing.” I explained even though I knew she was too smart to fall for it. “I’m very healthy.”

“Jayde, I work in a hospital. I’m going to school to become a doctor and I have never seen someone heal like this.”

My jaw clenched nervously and I let my shirt drop back down. “Just forget about it. I’m healed, what more do you want?”

“Are you serious?” Nadya’s bewilderment turned to offense as she stood up. “How am I supposed to forget about this? What is it really? Are you on some sort of experimental drugs or something? Is that why people are after you?”

“Nadya, please drop it.”

“I have done so much for you. I’ve risked my life and I’ve risked my career and I haven’t asked you for anything.” Her expression was hard to look at. “Answers. That’s all I want.”

“The answers will put you in danger.”

“I’m already in danger!” Being with Nadya this past week, it was hard to imagine that she could snap at me like this with how soft spoken she was, but it was clear that I pushed her too far. “I’m in danger because I helped you. I don’t regret it, but it’s really hard for me when you won’t at least help me understand what’s going on. I’m pretty sure I’ve proven myself to you by now. I think I deserve this.”

There were too many variables. I simply had no idea how Nadya would react to the truth. Yet here she was practically begging me for it and I was starting to feel myself lean more towards telling her. Most of my instincts were warning me against it, but there was one powerful urge that eclipsed them. One that has wanted me to tell Nadya the truth this whole time. Plus, she was right. Every day I was with her, everything that she’s done to help me, has put her in danger. How much worse could it really be for her if she knew the truth? She’s done more for me than anyone has and I was more or less a stranger to her. Nadya has proven herself.

This is a bad idea. I sighed heavily and moved away from Nadya so she wouldn’t feel threatened when I revealed myself. “Okay... I’m going to show you something and I want you to know that I am not going to hurt you.” This is a terrible idea.

Nadya didn’t say anything. Instead she removed her glasses, placing them on the table and taking a curious step towards me. Her unwavering gaze watching me intently for what I was about to do.

With a moment of hesitation, I decided to cross a line that I never have before. I summoned my wolf enough to make my eyes glow. My skin tingled, the anxiety inside me was just making the wolf itch to come out fully, but I held it back. This was all she needed to see to believe me. No going back now.

Nadya’s eyes widened in shock and she involuntarily stumbled back, nearly tripping over the chair. “What is that?” Her voice was panicked.

I held my hands up to calm her down, keeping my voice soft. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” I reminded her, letting my golden irises remain so she would know she wasn’t imagining it.

“What are you?” her voice was laced with fear.

“I’m a werewolf.”

Nadya stared at me like I was insane and I couldn’t blame her. “You’re not.”

“I am.” I could see this was hard for her to come to terms with so I let my blue eyes return. “That’s why I can heal fast. And that’s why people are after me.”

Nadya went through a range of emotions almost too fast for me to track. I caught disbelief. Confusion. Anger. Fear. One right after the other. There was a moment where I was worried that I broke her. Shattered her reality too hard. I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if I did that to her. But then her expression cleared to some sort of acceptance. I couldn’t recall a time where I felt more relieved.

“Okay.” Nadya finally said.

“Okay?”

“Okay.” She repeated calmly. “It’s okay. Just… you’re actually serious aren’t you?”

“As a heart attack.” I replied somewhat sarcastically.

Nadya actually laughed, running a nervous hand through her hair and sitting back down in her chair. “How?”

“I was born like this.” I answered her.

“I meant more, like, how can you exist?” She shook her head, running her hands across her face.

“Do you want me to leave?” The last thing I wanted was to make her feel scared or unsafe. Still, I dreaded the answer even though I shouldn’t. I should want her to kick me out. She should want to kick me out.

Nadya’s overwhelmed stare met mine slowly. She looked me up and down like she was searching for the wolf that resided just under my skin, but I resemble any other human right now. Maybe that’s what unnerved her.

I waited for the other shoe to drop. Praying for her to just get it over with. Each second felt like minutes, and maybe it was. It became so long that I just decided to make the decision for her. I never should’ve told her. Never should’ve stayed here as long as I did.

My movement towards the front door must’ve been what snapped Nadya out of her daze. She practically jumped up from her seat, rushing over and placing a hand on my wrist when I grabbed the doorknob. I stared at her, completely shocked that she stopped me. Shocked that she even had to courage to touch me after what I just told her.

“No,” Nadya said, not taking her eyes off of me. She still looked freaked out, but there was something peeking through her fear. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“Why?” Even though I felt relieved, I knew that I should still dissuade her.

Nadya seemed stumped by herself. “You’re... still healing.”

“You saw my wound. I’m healed enough.”

“Just one more day.” She said. “Then I’ll feel better about letting you go back out there.”

Nadya still held my wrist and I still held the doorknob. She could convince anyone to do anything. Who was I to say no to her? Honestly, I wasn’t sure I even could. That scared me. I slowly released the doorknob. “Okay.”

Her expression softened in relief and she looked down like she just noticed her hand was wrapped around my wrist. Nadya’s grip loosened, but only enough to shift to my hand. I watched her closely as she brought my hand up and I realized she was looking at my wrist for the bruises and laceration from the handcuffs that she treated just days ago. All that was left was a faint scar that was growing even fainter by the day. Her fingertips gently brushed over the mark, tracing it like she wasn’t sure if it was real.

“This will take some getting used to…” Nadya said to herself.

It almost hurt to do it, but I gently pulled my hand away from her. “You won’t have to.” I hoped that when I left, she would forget about all of this. Perhaps in time she would just think I was crazy or something. That would be the best case scenario, so why did it feel like one of the worst?

#ocs #original characters #original writing #original story #werewolves #maybe i shoulda labeled this as a part 3 to my last writing post..?#idk but i loved writing this #jayde turns into a terrible liar with nadya lmao #'ya nadya im on the keto diet it does wonders for healing injuries' asdfghjkl dumass #poor dumb bi disaster wolf doesn't wanna have feelings #also it takes nadya a little bit to process the whole werewolf thing #im pretty sure theres even a part of her that doesn't fully believe it until she sees jayde turn #my writing #jayde #nadya #Jayde pov

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werewolfdays · 5 years

Text

Getting Familiar

this is basically a part 2 of this cause I can’t resist talks like this-

I was starting to get a little stir crazy in Nadya’s apartment on my own. With my injuries, I knew I couldn’t exert myself too much. Exercise was out of the question. Plus, I was a fugitive, so I couldn’t even go out for a walk.

There wasn’t really much to keep me busy here. It was usually hard for me to have enough concentration to sit down and read a book, so even the wide variety of reading material wasn’t particularly helpful, though Nadya’s taste in literature was amusing. It was all across the board. There was everything from classic fantasy to science fiction to history to psychology and onward. It was like Nadya made her own tiny library. She seemed like the kind of person that really valued all forms of knowledge. I admired that. Was maybe even envious.

Sleep alluded me. This place was unfamiliar and anyone could walk through that front door at any moment. All I could smell was her. I still couldn’t decide if it was overwhelming or not. It wasn’t a bad scent at all. There was something comforting about it. The mix of autumn spices made me want to curl up by a fire, listen to the pattering of rain outside. It was just… everywhere.

Speaking of rain, I started to hear a few droplets hit the windows and soon a steady downpour arrived. I couldn’t let my guard down, but I could enjoy the rain at the very least. Rain was cleansing and calming. It settled some of my anxiety and allowed me to see things clearly.

The day went on forever, but eventually evening hit. Finally, Nadya came home. I nearly jumped when the front door opened. Nadya calmly placed her umbrella down in the stand by the door, shrugging off her damp rain jacket and hanging it on the hook.

Nadya blinked at me a few times when she turned and saw me. She probably hoped that she had imagined breaking me out of the hospital. But here I still was, right were she left me. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” My curt reply was dismissive, “Was there any trouble?” I was half anticipating that I’d never see her again, either because she was killed or incarcerated. Most of the day was spent preparing for the worst case scenario to walk through that door. I had to admit that seeing Nadya made me feel incredibly relieved.

She laughed nervously, “Well, they definitely noticed you were gone. I almost lost my job for negligence, but so did the others that were responsible for you. I played dumb, I’m pretty sure they don’t know it was me.”

“Is that all?”

“Some weird FBI looking guys came in asking for you.” Nadya began to fiddle with her hands nervously, “They were not happy, I’m pretty sure one of them was close to decking one of the officers that was watching you, but they eventually left.”

I let myself relax a little more. My main worry was the repercussions for the people in the hospital. They may have left without any bloodshed, but they were still in the area. Probably searching high and low for me as we speak. I really hope staying here wasn’t a mistake.

“How are your injuries?” Nadya asked, inching closer to me.

“I cleaned them earlier. Found bandages in your bathroom.” I knew it was probably a good idea to let Nadya treat me, but I was so used to taking care of my own wounds. Either way, they would heal.

“I can take a look whenever you want me to.” She offered. I noticed her eyes look me up and down. Even though I tried to clean myself up a bit so I would look less like an insane person, I knew I still must’ve looked a bit of a mess. I hardly ever cared about my appearance, but I started to feel slightly awkward under this girl’s gaze.

“Thank you.” I answered, shuffling over to the dining table to sit down.

Nadya nodded and disappeared in her bedroom. For a few minutes, I contemplated all of the areas they could be searching for me. How close they would get to here. If they would figure out where I was. Would I be able to protect both of us if they found this place? Nadya returned and sat down next to me at the small dining table, placing a small first-aid kit on the surface beside us. I was grateful that her presence distracted me from my fears.

“Can I, um…?” Nadya motioned to my hands and I realized she was referring to my wrists. They were bruised and the curve of my right wrist was cut where the handcuffs broke the skin. Not too deep, it was healing already, but I nodded in consent to Nadya examining them.

Nadya grabbed my hand, carefully turning it around to take in the bruises and the laceration. As she was assessing it, she glanced up at me, “Were the cuffs too tight or were you pulling on them?”

I shrugged, “Both?”

Nadya’s lips pursed and she looked at me more seriously, “You know, you only hurt yourself when you do that.”

Looking away, I nodded and clenched my jaw, unsure of how to explain the deep frustration I felt in that situation. “I just… hate hospitals.”

“Everyone hates hospitals.” she replied, treating the small wound on my wrist and I let her even though it wasn’t necessary. It would be completely healed within a couple days, if that.

“Well, I hate them.” the emphasis on the word hate was more than apparent.

She looked up again, pausing before she asked, “Did you lose someone in a hospital?”

“No,” I said hesitantly. It probably wasn’t a good idea to elaborate so I kept it vague, “It just reminds me of a place I spent some time in.”

A long moment passed as Nadya studied me quietly. Her brown eyes shifted all over my face and I realized she was noting my scars. Then she glanced down at my wrists. When her gaze met mine again her brow was furrowed thoughtfully, those warm eyes filled with deep concern. “Jayde, were you… kidnapped or something?”

My stomach dropped at her more or less guessing correctly. A small part of me wanted to tell her more, to confide in her. Nadya was surprisingly easy to talk to. Even though I barely knew her, I almost felt… safe. I knew she would never use any personal information I gave her against me. She’d proven as much so far. But she didn’t deserve me dumping any of my burdens on her. Not to mention that even if I did tell her, she would just have more questions. And the answers might put her in danger.

I remembered her hands still held mine when her thumb brushed against the bruise on my wrist. An absent minded motion, no doubt, but one that made our contact suddenly stand out. That with the look she was giving me felt… awkwardly intimate. Not in any particular way, it was just a human connection. She was reaching out to me. I was just so taken aback because this was something I haven’t experienced on this level in a long time. It made me feel odd so I pulled back.

Nadya immediately retreated to give me space, “I’m so sorry, um, I didn’t mean- it’s none of my business.”

I shook my head, “No, no, you’re fine.” the last thing I wanted was to make her feel bad about it.

“No, that was out of line.” Nadya insisted, scooting her chair back even further.

“Nadya, really, it’s okay. It’s not you.” In an attempt to reassure her, I closed the distance between us and offered my wrist to her again.

She looked at me quizzically for a moment, then turned her attention back to my wrist. I felt better when Nadya started treating it again. Relieved even. Once she was done with my right, she reached for my left. I sensed that she wanted to say something else, but was hesitating. I was battling with the idea of whether or not to ask her when she spoke again, “You know, you can… If you ever wanted to talk about anything with me while you’re here… I won’t judge you or tell anyone.”

Being this close to her, I could sense her sincerity. I was grateful for the offer and even thought about accepting it, but I also knew I couldn’t. “You a psychiatrist too?” I asked, keeping my joke light so she wouldn’t get offended.

The smile she forced was a bit discouraging. “I actually did consider that.”

“What made you choose the gorier version?” I asked.

“Because most of the time fixing physical injuries is easier than mental ones? More straightforward, I guess. You can’t stitch up trauma like a stab wound. When I can’t just fix a problem, it frustrates me. I don’t like feeling helpless.” Nadya finished treating my wrists and let me go, leaning back in her chair to look at me.

I felt a small pinch of disappointment in my chest at the loss of her touch. Her connection with me was more comforting than I realized. Maybe I could open up more. Just a little bit. “I understand that more than I want to.”

Nadya gave me a sad smile and half-shrugged, “That being said, I do have a firm belief that no one is a lost cause. I want to be there for people in any way that I can. I always encourage them to talk because no one wants to be alone. No one wants to bottle their emotions up. At the end of the day, being heard and understood is what brings people together. It keeps us alive.”

Her words surprised me and I found her optimism refreshing. Maybe it was naive, but it was still refreshing. I wish I could believe in people like she did. Although, if I did, I wouldn’t be alive right now. That’s all optimism is. A dream. It’s nice to fantasize about, but a dangerous road to follow. At least it is for me.

Then, I thought of Nadya. Someone who took me at my word and helped me at great risk to herself. I scoffed at her blind trust in me, but I realized that I put blind trust in her. So far she hasn’t betrayed that trust and my instincts told me she wasn’t going to. I have never put this much faith in someone I hardly knew, and yet, I couldn’t fully convince myself that it was a mistake.

“What about you?” I asked. When Nadya’s eyebrow arched up in question, I continued, “You help everyone and you hear everyone, but who hears you?” There was a part of me that asked because I was curious about her social life.

Nadya seemed stumped by the question. She opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again, blinking in confusion. “I… don’t know.”

That confused me. Someone like Nadya, who dedicated her life to helping other people, was willing to risk everything to save innocents, at the very least deserved recognition and she couldn’t even think of a single person that gave her that. It was wrong. “Well… I’m here.”

Whatever Nadya saw in my eyes made her smile, “I have friends, it’s just, I’m usually pretty busy with school and work and- you don’t need to feel obligated with me, Jayde.”

“I want to hear you.” I told her truthfully.

Nadya stared at me for a really long time. I wasn’t sure if she noticed that she was doing it. There was a curious wonder in her eyes like she was trying to decipher my meaning. I held her gaze so she would know how sincere I was. In doing so, I found myself getting lost in her stare. Found myself taking in the finer details of her eye color, how the brown reflected the kitchen light. On impulse, my line of sight dropped down further for a split second. When I realized it, my eyes darted back up to hers. The blush that colored her cheeks confirmed that she noticed and I couldn’t stop my own face from flushing either.

I wanted to shake my head at myself. What was that about?

Nadya cleared her throat, finally looking away and breaking the silence, “Uh, do you want tea? I’m gonna make tea.”

“Sure.” I answered as she got up. Great, now you’ve made her uncomfortable.

I watched Nadya move around the kitchen to prepare the tea. While she was filling the kettle with water, she spoke up again, “Sorry, I’m not really used to… I don’t know, talking about myself I guess?”

“I’m a good listener sometimes.” I said with a small smile.

“I don’t even know what to say.” Nadya grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, along with a box containing tea bags, “I mean, what’s even worth saying?” She asked almost to herself, then showed me the box of tea, “Is chamomile okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I nodded. “Anything is worth saying if you want to talk about it.”

“I don’t know how many people would agree with you on that.” Nadya said with a crooked grin as she put tea bags in the mugs.

“Well, there’s no one else here so,” I shrugged.

Nadya laughed and nodded, leaning back on the counter while we waited for the waiter to boil. “Good point.” she thought for a few moments in silence, eventually asking, “Have you ever been camping?”

I smiled at all of the happy memories I had from camping with my family. Those moments also broke my heart if I thought about them too much. Still, I was grateful to feel that nostalgia, even if it was only for a moment. “Yeah. I love it.”

“Me too.” Nadya smiled, perhaps at her own memories, “It was something my parents did just for me. When I was really young they took both me and my brother, but Ruben hated it so it became just me and them. It was the only time I felt a real connection with them. I guess when we were home they had more important things that needed their attention, but when we were out camping they were finally focused on me.” Nadya scoffed at herself, looking at the floor and shaking her head, “God, that makes me sound so selfish…”

“You’re probably the most selfless person I’ve ever met, Nadya. Wanting attention from your parents doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you human.”

I could tell from the look she gave me that she wasn’t expecting me to say something like that. Nadya looked so surprised that I nearly asked her if she really thought I saw her as anything else. Anyone with common sense could see what kind of person she was which led me to believe that Nadya didn’t spend a lot of time with people who had common sense.

When she finally recovered Nadya gave me the sweetest smile that I’ve ever been given. I couldn’t stop the butterflies in my stomach from fluttering any more than I could stop the rain from falling. It felt good in the most innocent of ways. I wanted to make her smile like that again.

“Maybe you should be the psychiatrist.” Nadya joked.

I let out a sarcastic huff, “I’d only give people more problems.”

It was then that the tea kettle whistled. Nadya turned to take it off the stove, and again, I found myself watching her. Enjoying the simplicity of her motions as she poured the hot water into the mugs. It would be so simple to live like this with someone. So easy. To just talk and make tea and enjoy each other’s company. For the first time in my life I could actually… picture it.

That feeling was so unfamiliar to me and so jarring that I actually felt my throat tighten up. What the fuck, really? I cleared my throat and shook my head to banish the unwanted feeling before Nadya noticed.

She set my mug in front of me, sitting down and placing hers in front of herself. “There’s honey and sugar right here.” She told me, reaching for the small tray that was already on the table.

“Thanks.” I said, grabbing the sugar dish as she poured honey into her cup.

“If the doctor thing doesn’t work out, being a park ranger would be my next go-to.” the spoon made a gentle ting against her mug while she stirred.

I smiled at the thought, “Pretty safe fallback for you.”

“It would be cool.” Nadya agreed, “I’d love to work at one of those really big parks that are pretty remote, but only because I think that’s my best chance to see Bigfoot.” The corner of her mouth upturned in a sly smile and she looked up at me playfully.

I laughed, placing my spoon down on the tray after stirring the sugar in, “Bigfoot?”

“What, you don’t believe in Bigfoot?” She asked, making herself sound offended.

“I’ve spent a lot of time out in the wilderness and I’ve never come across any evidence.” Surely I would sense a creature like that. If nothing else, I would certainly be able to smell the beast from miles off if it existed. Big animals always reeked.

“Okay, then what about Mothman?” She asked and I laughed again, “The Jersey Devil? El Chupacabra?”

Each ridiculous name made me laugh more, hard enough that I had to clutch my wounded side while giggling through the pain, “Next, you’ll ask me if I’ve ever been abducted by aliens.”

“Have you?”

“No, not by aliens.” I chuckled, taking a sip of tea.

“There’s got to be something that you believe is real.” Nadya refused to give up on the subject. “If not a cryptid, how about witches? Or vampires and werewolves?”

I smirked. Since I was one of those things, then why couldn’t the others exist, I guess? “Do you believe in witches, vampires, and werewolves?”

“Pretty much all myths and legends have a basis in reality. Maybe it isn’t as over the top as a man turning into a big furry monster when the moon is full and eating all his friends, but that idea had to come from somewhere.” Nadya said.

“Maybe it is as over the top as that.” I replied with a shrug, becoming amused by the inside joke I had with myself.

“You say that like you’ve met a werewolf.” She said with sarcastic suspicion.

“Maybe I have. Maybe you have and you just didn’t know it.” I was mostly poking fun, but there was a part of me that wanted to pull on that thread. To know what her reaction would be to the truth. I couldn’t do that to her, though.

“I don’t know if that’s disconcerting or not.” Nadya giggled. “I guess there’s no way to really know, huh?”

A keen observing eye might be able to tell. There were a couple times that seasoned hunters have spotted me without any other methods to confirm my nature. “I guess not.”

There were a few silent minutes that passed between us while we sipped our tea. The chamomile was surprisingly soothing, helping me finally relax a little after these stressful couple of days. Maybe it wasn’t just the chamomile that was putting me at ease…

My eyes drifted over to Nadya again. She seemed spaced out and I took the opportunity to study her. She was beautiful. Really beautiful. Obviously I was attracted to her, but for some reason it was hard for me to keep a level head about it. I really needed to get over that. Nothing could happen while I was here. That would be taking it too far, abusing her hospitality. Who knows if she would even be into that. Furthermore, I didn’t even want it like that, which was a new feeling for me. Nadya just… confused me.

Sensing my stare, Nadya’s gaze found mine again and her cheeks instantly colored. Shit, I was staring too long. Not wanting to draw too much attention to it, I downed the rest of my tea, despite it still being hot, and stood, walking over to place the mug in the sink. I could feel her eyes on me the whole way. Guilt tightened my chest because I hoped that it didn’t appear like I was leading her on. I needed to distance myself more.

“I should probably get to sleep.” I said, leaning on the counter. It was getting easier to walk by the hour, my healing doing its thing, but I still swayed a bit on my feet. “The more rest I get, the faster I heal. The faster I can get out of here.”

Nadya tried to hide it, but I caught the subtle way that her expression fell. “Yeah, you’re right.” she got up and almost stumbled on her words, “You, uh, you take the bed. Just let me grab a pillow and a blanket.”

“What?’” I didn’t need to feel any more guilt about this whole situation, “No, I can’t take your bed.”

“Jayde, you’re injured. I’m not making you sleep on the couch.”

“You’re not making me. I’m choosing to.”

“It’ll only be until you’re gone.” She said. I opened my mouth to argue, but she cut me off. “My house, my rules. Injured guests can’t sleep on the couch.”

I did a quick scan of the place, chuckling and going, “This is an apartment. So, not your house.”

Nadya scoffed, putting her hands on her hips and shaking her head at me. “Fine. If you pay the rent, then you can sleep on the couch.”

“Fine.” I said in a defeated sigh, too tired to keep arguing with her. My heavy legs carried me to the bedroom, Nadya following close behind. She was closer than necessary and I realized it was so she could help me if I needed it. “You know, you’re almost annoyingly selfless.”

“There are worse things to be.” Nadya replied. With her help, I dragged myself into her bed. I knew that her scent would haunt me all goddamn night, but at least the bed was comfortable. Once Nadya had a pillow and blanket in her hands, she hesitated by the door for a moment. “Just shout if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” It felt like I couldn’t thank her enough and that just made me feel worse.

“Goodnight, Jayde.” Nadya said softly.

“Goodnight, Nadya.” I replied, mimicking her tone.

#ocs #original characters #original writing #original story #My writing #me @ me this is kinda cute dude #my ocs #Jayde #Nadya #poor jayde being smitten right off the bat #poor Nadya not knowing what to make of a beautiful girl giving her attention #Jayde pov

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