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barnzbucky · 4 years

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reach for the moon - chapter 1 (Ivar x Reader)

Pairing: Ivar x reader; Hvitserk x reader (but barely)

Summary: 5 years have passed. Hvitserk finds out something Ivar did behind his back. The reader returns to Kattegat, and meets the man she longed to see the most.

Warnings: ableist talk (if feels unlike Ivar to not mention his condition when he gives his self loathing speeches, but it’s strange to write it); mention of arranged marriage; mentions of war; mentions of unrequited love; canon divergence; oc characters; fictional city; uncanon light hearted characters; cuteness at the end, but it made me feel guilty; (please, let me know if I missed something)

Word count: 2k

A/N: Hi!! Thank you so much for all the feedback in the prologue, I was beyond happy. My classes have just returned, and I also work, so I only have time to write and edit during the night, and I was supposed to edit this chapter yesterday, but I stayed up the whole night binge watching The Circle, and got nothing done 😂 Well, I hope you like the first chapter, I’m pretty proud of it 😂 please, tell me what you think and I hope you enjoy this ❤️️❤️️

masterlist | series masterlist

As the last citizen walked into the throne room, Ivar almost sighed in relief. He was most serious about his position as king, but he truly felt like everyone was working hard to make his job unbearable. He used to be known as the least patient man in Kattegat, and now, no one minded bothering him with meaningless cases. Sat in a throne, from morning to evening, listening to people talk his ear off about stupid ordeals, like neighbors stealing sheeps, or loud noises animals made during night, was not what he had in mind when he took over the city.

Battle plans and strategies were the only thing he was interested in, trade and economic deals weren’t too inconvenient, but having to deal with his subject’s complaints, no matter how insignificant, made him wonder if it was worth it.

However, Ivar knew he had to work harder than any man to earn the respect and admiration he longed for, and for a while he thought war was the only way, but life and the Gods were quick to teach him pointless conflict, in the longer run, brought only pain and loneliness, and fear was quite different from respect.

So he settled for making Kattegat the most prosperous city in Norway, a trade reference, with advantageous alliances, and satisfied citizens who had nothing to complain about. But they had become too spoiled, and complained about everything to their heart’s content.

Still, as bored as he was, Ivar could finally say he proved everyone who doubted him wrong, and he imagined his parents would be proud of him.

When the man finally left, he wasted no time, but before he could get out of the throne to eat his dinner in peace, Hvitserk stormed in looking almost angry, with Ubbe after him, unbothered.

“Would you care to explain what is this marriage nonsense?” his brother asked, almost laughing, as if it was a joke he didn’t quite understand.

Ivar merely raised his eyebrows and looked away from him to Ubbe, “I take it you told him, then?”

Ubbe told Ivar it was a bad idea to make the deal without telling Hvitserk. If he refused, the king would be angry and they would go to war. But his younger brother was so sure nothing was going to go wrong, and refused to listen to him. Now, a confrontation he didn’t want to be a part of was happening right in front of him.

“I’ll let you talk, I have nothing to do with this,” Ubbe didn’t hesitate to leave before he was forced to take a side. None of the other men bothered with him.

“I am not going to marry Tove just because you want more warriors at your disposal.” Hvitserk looked frustrated. He knew this would happen eventually, but not that soon, and certainly not without being consulted first.

“The alliance also includes fur and food,” Ivar had a mocking smirk on his face. It was funny to him, and almost insulting, that his brother thought he would force him to marry for something as meaningless as men and gold. “And I thought you liked her, Hvitserk! Surely, she is a beautiful woman, and a princess. I imagine you know her very well, what is so bad about this?”

“I like many women, brother, and I don’t need a wife!” he crossed his arms and lifted his chin, defensive and defiant at the same time.

Ivar’s hands tightly griped the arms of the throne, and he took a deep breath, trying not to get mad. His brother had chosen the worst day to do this. He was tired, hungry, cold, and in pain, and all that just made him angrier, “Good alliances are not made out only of a man’s word, Hvitserk, don’t be stupid. King Fredrick wanted his daughter to marry, and I offered him that. We all need to make sacrifices for Kattegat.”

“Why don’t you marry her, then?” the question made Ivar’s smirk return and he chuckled.

“A wife is of no use to me, yet. I have too much work to do. Any woman would be miserable to be left aside by her crippled husband in benefit of battle councils, and meetings,” he explained, still amused by his brother’s question, “All you need to do, brother, is to humor the king until the marriage is complete. After that, I’m sure you and your wife will come to an agreement.”

Hvitserk shook his head and sighed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to change Ivar’s mind, and now the arrangement was made, it was too risky to break it. He supposed Tove wouldn’t be the worst bride, and doubted she would ask him to be faithful to her if she wouldn’t be the same. He knew her well enough to say she probably wouldn’t, “I’ll think about it.”

Both knew he wouldn’t think about it. It was already decided. But Ivar could let his brother win the argument if that meant he would follow through with the wedding. So he just nodded.

After Hvitserk left, finally he had time to rest.

It took you two entire days to arrive in Kattegat.

The heavy set of fur was only vaguely familiar, heavy over your shoulders. You almost wanted to take it off. Maybe the unmistakable cold of your hometown would make reality sink in faster.

If you squinted your eyes, you could see it. The enormous coast, filled with more ships than you could count, the white, icy fog over the docks, and people coming and going at the beach. Soon you would be there, and your heart ached in your chest when you remembered how things used to be five years ago.

You laughed, remembering you didn’t want to go to Gleðiborg in the first place. If you only knew then, how wonderful and warm and comforting that town was.

Gleðiborg provided you the best years of your life. It taught you to actively live and make the best of your time in Midgard, instead of watching it all go by from afar.

You felt beautiful, confident, and happy. So unlike the person you were before, lonely and invisible.

You blinked to get your mind to calm, and focused again in the city ahead of you. Before you got into the ship, you promised yourself not to let your bad thoughts and memories control you. And you never broke a promise, even if self-made.

No matter how much you changed, your biggest wound was not yet healed. Prince Hvitserk still held your heart.

But regardless of how nervous you felt, you were as ready as you would ever be to face your past.

You thought about your last night in Kattegat, so long ago, but still so clear on your mind.

The usual heartache of seeing Hvitserk holding and kissing another woman felt worse, you never wished so bad to be in his arms as in that last time you saw him. That night, he only gave you one of his friendly smiles and politely asked you how you were. You could almost hear him saying your name.

Then, prince Ivar trusted you to his feelings and showed raw vulnerability… everything that proved he was more man than beast, you secretly promised to keep to yourself. It made you feel special and comforted that night, to be useful and needed, even knowing it only happened because you were the only one there. You were sure he didn’t even know of your existence before.

You hoped he was better. You supposed so, he was the king now. You were happy he had made it through his insecurities and finally got what he wanted.

Sooner than you thought, your ship arrived at the docks. You took a deep breath before daring to look at the city streets.

When you only had warm and sunny Gleðiborg to compare to, it was dark and cold. The sun was hidden behind the clouds and the wind hurt your skin and made your eyes burn. The smell of fish was so strong you were almost certain it was impregnating your clothes, and your head ached from the loud noise of people talking and shouting.

It wasn’t the best.

But you remembered how Kattegat looked like when you left. And this was completely different from your memory.

Back then, because of the upcoming war, everyone was rigid, tense, and more violent than usual. The city could barely hold that many people, and the food was too expensive for the poorer citizens eat more than a small meal a day, at best. Now, it seemed to be doing much better.

The market was full of people, children, the older folk, artisans, non-warriors, all vulnerable and glad, like it wasn’t before. This was far from how you imagined a place ruled by a man they called a “ruthless monster”.

When your parents visited Gleðiborg, they told you about an unforgivable king when it came to criminals and traitors, intolerant of the people’s silliness and drama, who never engaged in commoner’s celebrations like his brothers, only the ones held in the Great Hall, and was extremely impatient over everything else. But who still prioritized food and warmth over war and luxury for himself and took the time to find and make it better the problems of his kingdom.

Snapping from your thoughts, you stepped out of the ship and searched for your father in the crowd. You expected him to be there, it had been a while they announced there were people coming.

You hoped you wouldn’t have to wait for too long.

Unknown to you, you had drawn attention, standing there in perfect posture, right beside your bag. The furs around your body didn’t hide the vibrant yellow of your dress, a refreshing contrast before the gray sea.

While distracted searching for your father, someone lifted your baggage from the floor.

You turned back to see who it was and your heart almost failed you. Of course, the first person to greet you was the one you were most nervous to meet again.

Hvitserk had in his face a specific smile you had seen many times before, but never directed at you.

You almost gasped. He looked as attractive as you remembered, with the years difference, and all.

“May I help you? These seem too heavy,” his voice was comforting, and the flirty tone had you melting.

You opened a wide smile and fixed your posture, finding your new confidence self again, and didn’t bother hiding your excitement, “Hi, how are you?”

“I’m fine, how are you?” He crooked his head, as if he was confused, but the smile didn’t falter, “Who are you?”

“Who am I?” you chuckled, clearly amused. You knew you looked different, but not to the point he wouldn’t even remember who you were.

“Am I supposed to know?” he still looked confused, but had the same flirty tone and big smile.

Thinking about how no one, not even you, would have expected you to look as confident and liberated as you did now, it was shocking. You didn’t even feel like the same person, and until now, you haven’t realized it.

You couldn’t blame him for not recognizing you. You used to be friendly with each other, but being unable to look into his eyes whenever you talked, and standing in the light corners of every outing made you invisible.

“No, I supposed not,” you shook your head and laughed some more, “And yes, you may help me! Would you be so kind to walk me home?”

He held a hand out, the other holding your belongings. You stared at it. “Well, let’s go. Show me the way.”

You took his hand and started to walk to your home holding him behind you, occasionally glancing at him over your shoulder and giggling, until he had enough and decided to walk by your side. His cheeky smile made it almost impossible not to sigh.

“What is your name?”

tags: @luvjiminssi ; @ryukjin ; @hecohansen31 ; @heavenly1927 ; @youbloodymadgenius ; @ace-fiction ; @poisonous00 ; @jzr201 ; @rose1729 ; @shestrying2write ; @zuxiezendler ; @learninglemni-blog ; @didiintheblog ; @the-jess-life (if you’d like to be tagged or to be removed from the tag list, just send me a message/ask, no problem ☺️ if I wasn’t able to tag, please check if your blog is available to show on search)

#ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar imagine #vikings imagine #vikings fanfiction #ivar's heathen army #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar fanfiction #vikings #vikings x reader #reach for the moon #barnzbucky

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mari-beau · 3 years

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PSA: IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID & SEEK MEDICAL FOLLOW-UP, KNOW YOUR PATIENT RIGHTS TO REFUSE UNNECESSARY TESTS

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SUBJUGATED TO THE AMERICAN HEALTH SYSTEM

IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR COVID RECOVERY, DO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION!! IT IS IMPORTANT. YOU COULD HAVE SERIOUS COMPLICATIONS.

BUT DESPITE ALL THE MOCKERY AND DERISION FROM THE MEDICAL FIELD, DO SOME RESEARCH YOURSELF (FROM LEGIT MEDICAL AND SCIENTIFIC INSTITUTION’S WEBSITES/SOURCES)

DOCTORS ARE JUST PEOPLE. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE NOT THAT SMART. (AND YOUR DOCTOR IS NOT NECESSARILY SMARTER OR MORE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING THE VIROLOGY AND BIOLOGY OF YOUR SITUATION THAN YOU ARE). QUESTION THINGS. MAKE THEM EXPLAIN AND JUSTIFY THEIR ACTIONS.

MAKE THEM LISTEN TO YOU!

MY STORY HAS BEEN PLACED BELOW A BREAK

Because TRIGGER WARNING for people with Hospital/Medical PTSD

I tested positive for COVID-19 well over a month ago. I got moderately sick. I did not need to be hospitalized (thankfully). And was able to manage it with cold medicine. It was in my lungs. I had a high fever that cycled on and off for days, cough, shortness of breath, fatigue. By day 11, I was recovered enough and deemed no longer infectious by Public Health’s certified nurses (who know and understand COVID guidance/pathology).

It still took me awhile to completely bounce back. And surprise-surprise, my work is extremely stressful (I work for a local Public Health Department, the ones tasked with doing all of the non-direct patient care pandemic work, such as case investigations, quarantining, helping the public, inspections, answering every single question of every single member of the public). So it was taking me longer to be at normal levels of health. And I was noticing I’d be fine for days, but when I started to get a little worn down from work, I’d start coughing again.

My coworkers were concerned and had one of our nurses encourage me to seek follow-up in case I had a secondary infection as a result of my COVID infection, such as bronchitis or pneumonia. I tried calling the practice where my doctor used to be (living in rural area, the doctors maybe last a year before leaving), but the receptionist said they had no providers until following Monday (I was calling on a Wednesday). She was also baffled by my spiel:

“I tested positive for COVID-19 on November 24. I was cleared by Public Health on Dec. 4. I feel fine most of the time, but when I get tired, I start coughing again. I would like to be checked out to make sure I don’t have bronchitis or pneumonia or lung damage.”

I’m not so sure what’s so difficult about that. I had to prompt her... Should I call back on Monday then to see if I can get checked out?

My coworker used to be practice manager for that group of practices. And she was like WTF? and called over to confirm that they had no provider covering the practice through the New Year’s weekend.

But to be honest, it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d gotten through to them, because come to find out, the whole “Health Systems” conglomerate in our region funnels anyone who has had COVID to the Main Hospital ER. My mother’s doctor, who she asked to follow up because she is older and had concerns about complications, was likewise sent to the “COVID unit” in the hospital, despite the fact that she was no longer infectious and in recovery.

Anyway, the nurse at work encouraged me to get checked out that day. So I called the Urgent Care. Again, the receptionist was baffled by my spiel. As was the nurse she had speak to me. The nurse informed me I had to go to the main hospital.

Fine. I thought. I’d just get my lungs checked out and get it over with. If I had a secondary infection, they could give me a steroid inhaler or stronger cough medicine or something.

WRONG!

I show up to the Hospital, they funnel you through precautions (which is great). I give my spiel to the receptionist, adding on how I tried my primary care and urgent care, and they told me I had to come here. They give me to intake person, who asks me the standard questions and checks my vitals.

My heartrate is high.

I have panic attacks in hospitals. I can’t even visit people in the hospital. It’s not a conscious issue. And it’s completely outside of my control. I can attempt to manage with anxiety coping mechanisms, but to be honest it doesn’t work.

I inform the intake nurse/doctor/whoever that my stress levels have been high from work, specifically Monday I was in the call center getting verbally abused by our wonderful community members all day long. And that I have panic attacks in hospitals. And was likely in early stages of panic attack. He replied to me that was on Monday and it’s Wednesday (someone who had no clue how anxiety works). And I of course sounded perfectly calm then, because part of how I cope is trying to keep my shit together and not freak out.

They admit me for having a high heart rate. (BECUASE DOCTORS DON”T LISTEN, ESPECIALLY TO WOMEN).

SO, SUMMARY SO FAR: I HAVE BEEN ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL FOR HAVING PANIC ATTACKS IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN I JUST WANTED SOMEONE TO CHECK MY LUNGS.

They stick me in a negative pressure COVID room because I had COVID a month ago (and they don’t seem to understand I am no longer infectious, or how viruses work; yes, some people remain very sick and infectious longer; I meet all the criteria of no longer being infectious).

I have to change into hospital gown, etc. Doctor checks my lungs. Everything sounds fine. My 02 stats are 100%.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN RELEASED AT THIS POINT. I SHOULD HAVE REFUSED ALL FURTHER PROCEDURES AND TESTS. BUT I HAVE HOSPITAL-INDUCED ANXIETY AND AM IN NO STATE OF MIND TO QUESTION ANYTHING BECAUSE I’M BARELY KEEPING MY SHIT TOGETHER. NO WONDER I’M FUCKING TACHYCARDIC.

Next up is the nurses, come to hook me up to the heart monitor and EKG.

AND DO THE ONE OTHER THING THAT CAN SEND ME INTO A FULL ANXIETY ATTACK.

They ignore me when I tell them they need to use a pediatric needle on my veins. All of my mom’s family has small, hard to find, fragile veins. THEY BLOW OUT TWO OF MY VEINS IN ONE ARM WHILE A LAB PERSON IS TRYING TO DRAW BLOOD OUT OF MY OTHER ARM.

I AM FINE WITH VACCINES/SHOTS. AND IF THEY CAN GET A NEEDLE IN AND DRAW BLOOD QUICK, I CAN KEEP MY SHIT TOGETHER. I HAVE NO CONSCIOUS FEAR OF NEEDLES OR BLOOD. BUT IF THEY MESS AROUND WITH MY ARMS TOO LONG, IT SENDS ME INTO FULL HYPERVENTILATING, CRYING HYSTERICALLY, LEG THRASHING PANIC ATTACK.

ALL THE WHILE, I’M APOLOGIZING TO THEM. AND HATING MYSELF FOR MY REACTION.

The nurse keeps trying to comfort me as she blows out another vein in my arm for an IV I DID NOT NEED. I keep saying “I’m sorry. It’s stupid. It’s so stupid I get like this.” As I’m sobbing and hyperventilating.

The nurse gives up after blowing out several veins in my arm when doing the saline wash. (This does not pardon me, but only buys me a reprieve).

Lab Guy exits with some blood he managed to get out of one of my arms.

I have been repeatedly questioned by doctors and nurses so far about having had another COVID test. I tell them no, since I can test positive for up to 3 months afterwards, it’s quite literally pointless.

THEY GIVE ME ANOTHER COVID TEST.

My first one when I was actually sick, was just mildly uncomfortable. THIS TIME THEY MANAGE TO GIVE A PRETTY SPECTACTULAR BLOODY NOSE. AND PROMPTLY LEAVE THE ROOM AS I CALL ‘MY NOSE IS BLEEDING’ AFTER THEM.

I HAVE TO USE THE MASK I WORE IN TO TRY TO STAUNCH THE NOSEBLEED.

I THINK IT WAS HERE I HAD MY FULL ON PANIC ATTACK. IF YOU HAVE THEM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY FULL-ON. I WAS ALONE. (WHICH I PREFER BECAUSE THEY EMBARRASS ME).

A different nurse finally comes back for some other reason (I don’t remember now). I ask her from some tissues. She hands me some paper towels. She leaves. She returns, gives me a washcloth to clean all the blood off my face and neck. Another nurse is with her.

ROUND TWO OF DRAWING BLOOD & IV ATTEMPT

These ones do better. But I am calmer having just had the full-on panic attack. They have to use veins in my biceps to draw the blood. And finally get an IV in. (Mind you, it’s an IV I really didn’t need). They give me a bag of fluids and some anti-anxiety/sedative to try to bring my heart rate down (letting me go home would’ve worked far better).

They’ve already done the EKG. They put me through a CT scan and echocardiogram. And finally a chest x-ray (which would’ve been in the more necessary scope of treatment/evaluation for my complaint/concern about residual lung damage).

There’s a good wait time in between these.

I was already hydrated. I drink a lot of water. And so I had to pee very badly.

Because, guess what the COVID test came back positive and they’ve stuck the official notice on the negative pressure COVID room door, I have to use the little commode chair thing in the room. The nurse puts a little bedpan/measuring catch thingy in it. She takes some of my urine to test (so yet another unnecessary test).

They give me another bag of fluids. Which makes me have to pee very badly again. I try to call a nurse. My bladder’s about explode. But I’m hooked up to machines and not sure if I’m allowed to leave the hospital bed. She glances in at me. Tells me it’s okay to go.

I fill up the little bedpan.

I will have to pee very badly again by the end of this ordeal, and have more than half a mind to go pee/overflow the bedpan into the rest of the ‘commode’.

But finally whatever doctor assigned to me comes back, says everything is fine and I can be released.

Mind you, my heartrate has remained low 100s for hours and hours (a little high for me, but I was in a fucking hospital and having panic attacks and my anxiety was still quite high).

I wait another half an hour for a nurse to come and disconnect me from everything and do a ‘verbal’ discharge.

SO MANY TIMES I HAD WANTED TO YANK EVERYTHING OFF ME AND LEAVE. I NOW WISH I HAD DONE PRECISELY THAT.

My parents showed up and were waiting for me in the parking lot to drive me home and drive my truck home. My mom said it looked like I had been through a war. She’d never seen me look so terrible.

I went into work that morning feeling worn down from work. And I was coughing a little. I came out of the hospital 8 hours later feeling the worst I have in my life. Worse than when I was feverish and struggling to breath from COVID infection.

The public health nurses at my workplace advised me to file a complaint against the hospital. They agreed/informed me that what the hospital did was medically unnecessary.

I HAVE BRUISES ALL UP AND DOWN MY ARMS. I HAVE BURST CAPILLARIES UNDER MY EYES AND ACROSS MY CHEEKS FROM CRYING SO HARD. I HAVE WOKEN UP EVERY MORNING SINCE WITH A TIGHT KNOT OF ANXIETY IN MY CHEST. MY HEART RATE (WHICH I CHECK WITH A PULSE OXIMETER) HAS NOT RETURNED TO ITS NORMAL LOWER LEVELS. IT HAS BEEN FIVE DAYS.

SUMMARY:

I HAD COVID AND RECOVERD. I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT POSSIBLE COMPLICATIONS SUCH AS BRONCHITIS, PNEUMONIA OR LUNG DAMAGE BECAUSE I HAVE A RECCURRING SLIGHT COUGH.

NO HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS UNDER THE CONGLOMERATE THAT IS OUR ONLY CHOICE OF MEDICAL CARE IN OUR REGION WILL SEE ANYONE WHO HAS HAD COVID. THEY SEND THEM ALL DIRECTLY TO THE MAIN HOSPITAL ER COVID UNIT TO DO A SLEW OF UNNECESSARY TESTS AND RACK UP THE HOPISTAL BILL.

I WENT TO GET A SLIGHT COUGH CHECKED OUT. INSTEAD I WAS SUBJECTED TO UNNECESSARY TESTS AND TREATMENT JUST TO BE TOLD I AM IN FACT PERFECTLY FINE. AND NOW I HAVE TEXTBOOK PTSD.

FUCK YOU, AMERICAN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM.

**EXTRA REMINDER TO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION AND FOLLOW-UP IF YOU HAVE HAD COVID AND ARE CONCERNED. JUST REMEMBER YOU HAVE RIGHTS AND OUR HEALTH CARE SYSTEM’S MAIN FOCUS IS MAKING MONEY**

#american health care #covid-19 #coronavirus recovery #hospital ptsd #panic attacks #anxiety #tw: anxiety

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doberbutts · 5 years

Link

And the followup post, here.

Okay folks, this is one I’ve resisted posting about for a while, but enough people have sent it to me (including a link from WADTT from a group where the author goes further into detail on this subject, thank you darling <3 ) that I guess it’s time.

I’m going to start with- this is why I don’t like it when people who are not involved in something decide they want to judge something they don’t know anything about. I’m, of course, not saying this woman doesn’t know anything about dog training- her credentials are enough to say otherwise. But the phrasing of both of these articles indicate that she has never taken her dogs through a CGC before and, indeed, has never done any sort of AKC event before. In fact, one of her main problems with it (and one of her source’s main problems with it, but I’ll go into that later) is that the AKC is an organization that makes money because people do stuff with their dogs with said organization. Her source is more talking about puppy mills- in which it exaggerates a bit and implies that the money the AKC makes yearly is mostly coming from litter entries (ignoring the large sums coming from show entries, titles, etc) while her post implies that they’re getting quite a hefty sum from CGC entries (ignoring... all the other stuff the AKC does). Another reasons she gives for not liking the CGC is that the rulebook states that they don’t care what method you use to teach the items- something true of all AKC titles- as long as your dog is in the approved back-clipping non-restrictive harness, flat collar, martengale collar, or slip collar come testing day. She even does not like that the CGC allows the slip collar to be used during the test, despite the fact that- like all AKC titles- it’s not meant to be used during the test, as correcting your dog even verbally will fail you.

Far be it from me to claim the CGC is the end-all of dog behavior. We have had dogs right here on dogblr that decidedly were not the epitome of good temperament pass CGC and even CGCA. I’ve passed a dog that I know is dog aggressive, but he was not during testing time or class, so I also could not fail him. I just had an argument with a high profile dobe breeder about why the CGC program is not an ideal standard for service dogs. I have my own problems with the program, and my own problems with the AKC, and I can’t really say either is perfect.

I’ve taken close to 50 dogs through the CGC in 2018 and the first couple days of 2019 alone at this point. As most of you are aware, I am not a +R trainer by the strictest sense of the term. As most of you are also aware, I am required to be so while at my job. That means the vast majority of my students must adhere strictly to force-free methodology, and exceptions may only be made when there is a serious safety concern regarding strength of dog vs strength of human. This also means that the majority of my CGC students have run through the CGC without ever feeling any sort of pressure or compulsion. While, yes, the rulebook does state that whatever methods you want can be used for teaching the items, my job states that I am much more limited. Besides that, I’m pretty pro-don’t-punish-your-dog-for-not-reading-your-mind and anti-use-corrective-collars-to-fix-your-shitty-foundation, so there’s that too, even with my personal dogs aka dogs I’m allowed to actually do whatever I want with. Just as an aside, but I took CGC classes at Petco as well when I ran through the program with Creed because I can and they’re free for me, so I also was not allowed to have him on anything more corrective than a martengale during class or test. This means no slip collar either- something allowed by AKC rules but not by the testing facility. Clearly the CGC can be passed while sticking firmly to a +R ideology.

But that’s not enough- in the group where she discussed her reasonings for this, the mere fact that the CGC rulebook states that it allows slip collars, that you can do whatever you want in training, and that the AKC refuses to totally ban metal aversives is bad enough to never want to take a CGC. Simply funding the organization with your $10 is bad enough to not want to do it. That, to me, is more than a little ridiculous.

Onto the next point- the fear that more people beginning to require a CGC to insure or rent to dog owners would split up dogs and humans- specifically fearful or aggressive dogs, and low income families. This is a tricky one to navigate, and one that I’m very much wishing she hadn’t thrown human social talking points into (misogyny, violence against women, income status, etc). First of all- there is no current punishment for failing your CGC besides a little bit of embarrassment or frustration if you thought your dog was ready, so the whole “scarlet letter of bad citizen” is exaggerated hyperbole at best. Second of all, no insurance company to date has required a CGC that I am aware of, but has given discounts for one being present. Third, HOAs and landlords have actually changed from disallowing pets completely to saying that they will allow a pet if it’s trained to a visible standard- this is a good thing. This is not “landlords and HOAs used to allow dogs all the time but now they require your dog pass a test”, it’s “landlords and HOAs used to not allow any dogs or only allow dogs smaller than 25lbs or have breed bans and now instead of that they just want to make sure your dog is somewhat trained”. Forward progress. Creed failed his CGC at 13 months. He passed it at 22 months. Failing it the first time had literally zero effect on his ability to pass it the second time, except that I knew what things he still needed practice with before our second go around.

If your dog is too fearful or too aggressive to pass a CGC test with dedicated training, you probably shouldn’t be renting with it. These are easy things to pass and things your dog will have to navigate at some point in its life. Your dog is going to need to be touched by strangers at the vet or groomer. Basic obedience- positions, recall, stay, those are things that literally save lives in emergency situations. Your dog is going to need to be able to peacefully coexist with other dogs when going outside to pee, on a walk, at the vet, at the groomer. With the increasing number of vets that take the dog into the back, away from its owner, for simple procedures like shots and blood draws, your dog is going to need to be okay not being next to you for a whole 3 minutes. Not everyone likes dogs, so it’s imperative that your dog can walk by strangers without bothering them, especially if you have neighbors in the same building. While loose leash walking and distractions are perhaps the most easily discarded of all of these items, the #1 complaint I receive as a dog trainer from new clients is that their dog pulls on leash. The #2 complaint is that the dog is easily distracted by everything and thus “doesn’t listen”. That’s your 10 items on the CGC. If your dog cannot do those things with a combination of training and management techniques, then, yeah, your dog probably shouldn’t be in a rental and you should look into additional training. Additionally- dogs that bark constantly, especially at movement/sound from neighbors or due to seperation anxiety, get their owners evicted. That’s the hard truth. Dogs that are not properly housebroken get their owners evicted, or at the very least get their owners charged thousands of dollars for repairs when an angry landlord has to replace flooring or carpet or furniture. That’s why the dog owner pledge exists.

HOAs are much the same- barking dogs get neighbor complaints which then get you evicted or fined. Leaving a dog outside to bark in the yard is one of the biggest reasons animal control gets called on dog owners. A pesky neighborhood gardener has the right to work in peace- if your dog won’t stop barking, nothing is stopping you from bringing it inside or moving it away from the windows. I don’t know why we suddenly jump to taping the mouth shut or surgical debarking- unless the dog cannot be calmed once it starts, in which case a visit to the vet and a behaviorist (or trainer otherwise skilled in BAT) is in order to determine what combination of management techniques and medication is required for the dog to have its extreme anxiety or aggression calmed to a more reasonable point where it stops being unfair to the dog to exist in such a stressful mindset. The pledge does not say you can’t do that- and anyone working with a trainer to pass the CGC should be provided that option should they request it.

People don’t like it when dog owners let their dogs poop in their yards. Even if you clean it up, there’s still residue. It’s also pretty terrible for the environment to not pick it up in your own yard, as well as a public health and safety hazard if allowed to collect over a long amount of time or if there are multiple dogs. E.coli, salmonella, coccidia, giardia, and various parasites such as roundworm and tapeworm can and do spread to humans if on contaminated ground- a worry for children who may not know better than to put their hands in grass a dog has recently pooped on and, since there’s no visible trace of poop anymore, then puts their hands in their mouths. Distemper, parvo, and lepto spreads to dogs with weak immune systems that cannot be vaccinated, or puppies who have not completed their vaccinations yet. Rain water pushes these diseases out of a dog owner’s yard and into other ground as well as into rivers and other sources of drinking water. Making sure that your dog only uses certain areas to go to the bathroom, and then immediately doing your best to pick up after your dog is the only acceptable compromise. And people are very bad at even doing that- outside of my store, where there is a poop bag station every couple of feet, we still completely fill a trash bag full of poop weekly because people will not pick up after their dogs. That’s why the dog owner pledge exists. At least daily inside of my store, we discover a trail of feces and urine down an aisle from a dog owner that either wasn’t paying enough attention to their dog to see that it was doing that, or that didn’t care enough to clean it up, even with several easily accessible clean-up stations within the store. Sometimes it’s right at the clean-up station.

That’s why its phrased the way it is. Good citizen- or in Canada, good neighbor. It’s an attempt to curb bad human behaviors while also teaching dogs a very simple, easy-to-pass test. If the CGC or CGN isn’t your cuppa, there’s also others such as CLASS and SPOT and even various things from DMWYD. But all of them are similar in that they attempt to solve this problem as more people with more dogs becomes more widespread.

As for the rest- dogs that growl get dismissed from the test. This does not mean dogs-that-growl-ever. This means, dogs that growl during the test. It’s included because the AKC got tired of evaluators and judges and other dogs being attacked by dogs. Any aggressive behavior whatsoever displayed during the test is grounds for automatic dismissal in the vast majority of AKC events. This prevents the owner from attempting to “work through it” and invariably flooding the dog and getting someone bit. Instead, the dog is dismissed, and the owner is forwarded to someone who can find out why the dog is growling and how to make the dog more comfortable with whatever the problem was. Dogs that cannot hold their urine for the 30 minutes max each test takes, yes, get dismissed, because nobody likes a dog that pees all over everything. This includes dogs that submissive or excited pee, because the owner should be working with a vet and behaviorist on proper management solutions. Dogs are allowed to startle during distractions, as long as they do not attempt to flee, run, or bark. It even says the dog may look at the distraction with (mild) interest, as long as it is neither pulling towards the distraction nor running away from the distraction.

Once again, far be it from me to be the white knight of the CGC or even of the AKC, but this article is, frankly, mostly the same type of nonsense I always hate seeing from people who wish to make talking points about things they’ve never experienced and thus don’t have any idea what they’re talking about. Again, I am not saying this woman doesn’t know what dog training entails. Her credentials alone say otherwise. But I am saying that it’s very clear she’s never even attempted the CGC, nor attended a class of people attending the CGC. Again, in the FB group where she discusses her reasoning, she even says that while she understands people do go through the CGC with all forcefree training, her problem is that it allows people to not do that, and so it’s still unacceptable. So all training is required to be forcefree, written in the rules, or else there’s the potential that someone somewhere might do something to their dogs that she doesn’t like, and so it’s bad. That’s... ridiculous.

There’s also some things at the end about wanting legislature to require forcefree only training, about wanting all dog trainers to pass a certification that requires people to only use forcefree training, and some bits about people like me who occasionally use tools not allowed by +R methodology in certain circumstances being inhumane and unethical, but I won’t go into those more than my warning that I always have for things like this.

Always be careful about strong opinions formed by people who have never done or experienced or worked with the thing they have strong opinions about. Especially so when they are strong opinions that may become enforced by law. At that point, everyone loses.

#links

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cherumie · 3 years

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Akatsuki No Yona is soooo good

#i cant remember the last time i laughed out loud at a manga #my only serious complaint is that if you're gonna make Yona 16 then don't have grown men flirt with her it's creepy #b u t its all jokes so i can give it a pass it just kinda makes me 🤨#my non serious complaint is that i wish there were more women #i get this is a manga for teen girls but throw me a bone please •́ ‿ •̀#im only on chapter 45 out of like 200 so ive almost surpassed the anime #looking forward to where the story goes #im not crazy about any character yet but if i haadd to pick a favorite itd be Shin-ah and Kija #Shin-ah is v relatable and Kija is just cute #Hak is the funniest character by far though even though i usually find know it all perfect characters annoying #Yona is cute & interesting #the Earth general is hot #so is Jae Ha but idk his jokes go a little too far sometimes i think #he can be charming but they really dod make him lind of a creep in a bad way #Zeno is compelling but i dont have strong feelings about him #Yun is also very cute #i wanna know Su Won's intentions and if he's telling the truth about his father #im willing to bet itll turn out to be a misunderstanding and he'll have a breakdown #those are my thoughts so far #yona of the dawn #akatsuki no yona

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claudia1829things · 5 years

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"STAR TREK DISCOVERY" Commentary: (2.01) "Brother"

Earlier, I had posted two articles on my feelings about the Season Two premiere of “STAR TREK DISCOVERY”, (2.01) “Brother”. The following is an amalgamation and extension of those two articles:

"STAR TREK DISCOVERY" COMMENTARY: (2.01) "Brother" I just recently viewed the Season Two premiere of “STAR TREK DISCOVERY”, (2.01) “Brother” on CBS All Access. On one hand, the episode struck me as a solid entry for a Trek show that set up the second season’s story arc and introduction of new characters. This is nothing knew. I have witnessed similar set ups for shows like “BABYLON 5” and “BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER”. But what I did not count on were some differences and characters that would leave me scratching my head. I do not think I have ever encountered a Trek show that has generated so much conflict and controversy as “STAR TREK DISCOVERY”. I take that back. There has been one other series that has generated controversy close to the same level as “DISCOVERY” . . . namely “STAR TREK VOYAGER”. This does not strike me as surprising, since both shows featured leading characters who are women. “DISCOVERY” took it to another level in which its leading character, Commander (formerly Specialist) Michael Burnham, is not only portrayed by an African-American actress, but is not the starship/space station’s commanding officer. I noticed that a great deal of what struck me as vague and nitpicking complaints had been inflicted upon “STAR TREK DISCOVERY” during and after its first season. One of those complaints proved to be that certain characters, including Michael Burnham, lacked full development by the end of Season One. I found myself scratching my head over this complaint. I mean … what on earth? I have never heard of a fictional character in a television show that is fully developed by the end of its first season, let alone before the end of its run. Never. And “DISCOVERY” had only finished its first season. Why on earth were so many of the franchise’s fans either criticizing that most of its characters are not fully developed or demanding that they should be after one season? This is not miniseries or television show. If “STAR TREK DISCOVERY” is allowed to complete its full run and the characters are still “not fully developed”, then I believe they would have something to complain about. Another complaint that left me scratching my head was the lack of humor during its first season. In fact, this particular complaint has led many to compare “STAR TREK DISCOVERY” with another science-fiction series that had begun around the same time - “THE ORVILLE”. The Trek franchise has never been a franchise that was dominated by humor. And I do recall a good deal of humor in Season One of “STAR TREK DISCOVERY”, especially in episodes like (1.07) “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad” or in scenes featuring Mary Wiseman as Cadet Sylvia Tilly. Aside from those scenes featuring Wiseman and even Rainn Wilson (as con man Harry Mudd), most of the humor featured in Season One tend to be more subtle. I am relieved to notice that in regard to character development, the show runners for “STAR TREK DISCOVERY” did not rush to portray Michael Burnham or any of the other characters fully developed. The Season Two premiere, “Brother”, hinted that the show planned to explore Burnham’s past experiences as a member of Ambassador Sarek’s household and especially, her relationship with adoptive brother Spock. Judging from the Season Two previews I have seen, Burnham’s relationship with Ash Tyler/Voq will also be touched upon. So, if Season Two does not feature the full character development of the series’ leading lady and the other supporting characters, I will not be disappointed. If anything, I might feel a sense of relief. The last thing I want is for the series to engage in rushed storytelling. But one aspect of the Season Two premiere that left me scratching my head was the level of humor featured in the episode. It almost struck me as out of place. Now, “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad” featured some rather heavy humor. I found nothing wrong with this. Many of the Trek series have aired the occasional humorous episode. The problem with the humor in “Brother” is that there was nothing about the plot or the characters that should have marked it as a humor-filled episode. Many of the familiar characters - including Burnham - were either spouting lines or reacting to situations that made me wonder if screenwriters Ted Sullivan, Gretchen J. Berg and Aaron Harberts may have went a bit too far. “Brother” also featured the introduction of Commander Denise “Jett” Reno, Chief Engineer of the U.S.S. Hiawatha, who had been rescued by a landing party from the Discovery after spending ten months caring for wounded crew members on an asteroid, during the Federation-Klingon War. Reno, portrayed by actress-comedian Tig Notaro, managed to spout more jokes in a space of five minutes than any other actor or actress who had appeared in a Trek series or movie. I think Notaro might proved to be a rival for Wiseman on who can be the funniest member of the cast. In the end, the humor in “Brother” struck me as a bit over-the-top, especially for an episode that is not obviously a humorous one like “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad”. So what were the screenwriters thinking? Did they change the tonal style of “STAR TREK DISCOVERY” to appease those fans who had complained that the series was “too serious” or “too angsty”? If so, they have made a mistake. I found this tonal shift for Season Two rather forced and mind boggling. I do not see the necessity of changing the series’ tonal style. I want to watch “STAR TREK DISCOVERY”, not some borderline copycat of “THE ORVILLE”. Not even the other Trek series from the past had such a drastic tonal shift. After all, the edgier style of Season One did not prevent “STAR TREK DISCOVERY” from being a hit or creating an entire new stable of fans. Had the show runners forgotten this? Or were they too busy paying attention to the narrow-minded fans who wanted the series to simply re-create the past? I noticed that the introduction of Anson Mount as Captain Christopher Pike of the U.S.S. Enterprise had also contributed to this tonal shift. Mount’s Pike came off as slightly humorous and yet, somewhat bland. To me, Pike seemed like the epitome of the white male leading man that so many science-fiction/fantasy geeks seemed to long - especially in the past three to four years. The problem I have with this is that as an old fan of the AMC series, “HELL ON WHEELS”, I know that the talented Mount is capable of portraying a character more interesting than Pike. At one point in “Brother”, Pike had expressed his regret that the Enterprise did not participate in the Federation-Klingon War. Was this regret a consequence of survivor’s guilt? Or is this nothing more than the regret of someone in the military, who wished he or she could have been in the center of the action. I hope that it is the former. On the other hand, watching Pike participate in the landing party that found Reno and the remains of the Hiawatha makes me wonder otherwise. As the Discovery’s current temporary captain, his presence in the Away team struck me as questionable. This is not “STAR TREK” circa 1966-68. And so far, I do not find the character’s regret for not participating in the war against the Klingons as not very interesting. And why is the Christopher Pike character a regular on this show? Why is he a regular for Season Two? Why was Pike, along with two Enterprise officers, needed to investigate those seven red bursts that had appeared in the Alpha Quadrant? The Discovery is originally a science vessel. The Enterprise is not. Why did the show runners have Starfleet order Pike to take command of Discovery in the first place? Mount could have been cast as the Discovery’s new captain who was someone other than Pike. Or Saru could have been promoted as the Discovery’s new commander. He deserved it. After all, ever since the discovery that Captain Gabriel Lorca was an imposter from the Mirror Universe, Saru had more or less acted as the ship’s captain. He was the one who led Discovery and its crew out of the Mirror Universe. And he stood behind Burnham, Tilly and Tyler when they exposed Starfleet’s plot to destroy the Klingon homeworld. Instead, either Alex Kurtzman or Aaron Harberts and Gretchen J. Berg drummed up some lame reason to brng Pike aboard the Discovery so that the show can have some slightly bland and familiar character as the main authority figure in order to soothe the nerves of some very loud and negative fans. Is it possible that these fans could not deal with the chaotic Gabriel Lorca as captain or who still cannot deal with the non-white Michael Burnham as the show’s lead? Or do they simply want to recapture the past? Right now, it seems as if Kurtzman, Harberts and Berg want to please these fanboys, who want the show to recapture the past. After watching “Brother”, I blame them for listening to these fanboys, instead of basking in the success of Season One and moving forward with more innovative stories. It just seems a crime that producers like Kurtzman, Harberts, Berg, the Warner Brothers suits and Kathleen Kennedy are so afraid of the loud and narrow-minded fanboys that they would rather keep their respective franchises either mired in the past or borderline bland to please these fans. And in doing so, they end up ignoring the fact that when their franchises were innovative, they were also box office or ratings successes. Right now, I find the Trek fandom, along with those for other franchises, rather frustrating and narrow-minded. These fans would rather cling to the past, rather than enjoy something different or innovative. And when producers and show runners like Harberts, Berg or Kurtzman kowtow to the loud and rather conservative-minded fans and critics, entertainment and art in pop culture becomes in danger of declining into a sad affair. Does this mean that Season Two of “STAR TREK DISCOVERY” await such a fate? I hope not. I hope that the season’s future episodes might prove to be just as fascinating and innovative as those from Season One. I hope so. Because if I have to be honest, I found “Brother” to be jarring and something of a head scratcher.

#star trek discovery #star trek discovery season 2 #star trek discovery 2x01 brother #2x01 brother #sonequa martin-green #mary wiseman #anson mount #doug jones #tig notaro #rainn wilson #alex kurtzman #gretchen j. berg #aaron harberts #star trek franchise

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seventyfiveapples · 6 years

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Noise Complaint

Bright / Nick Jakoby x reader / one-shot

Just a fun, light-hearted one-shot I wanted to write to take a break from my longer multi-chapter fic. This probably sets some kind of record for “most references to penises in a non-smut fic.”

Summary: Officer Nick Jakoby responds to a noise complaint and faces a rather awkward case of mistaken identity. Shenanigans ensue...

Bachelorette parties were really not your scene. But when your best friend asked you to be her maid of honor, you knew you wanted to give her the best damned party ever.

As you trolled the aisles at the party supply store, filling your cart with anything hot pink, zebra striped, and/or dick-shaped, you realized that bachelorette parties were no one's scene. No one wants to bake a cake in a penis-shaped cake pan and then serve that cake to their friends. No one.

She imagined using this cake pan for any other event: ”Did you try the cinnamon apple dick cake? The balls are pumpkin spice!”

Why did they even make a cake pan in this shape? This wasn’t the Great American Baking Show, you thought, tossing it in your cart. This was Sparta.

You thought of your best friend and reminded yourself: this was all for her, in honor of her upcoming wedding. The thought made you look a bit more fondly at the tiara in your hands, admiring how the rhinestone-bejeweled penises across the crown caught the light.

It was all hideous, you thought, and she would love every bit.

The night of the party was here. After a round of penis Jell-O shots and a rousing game of “Never have I ever,” all the guests were well into their cups. Several women had been singing loudly on the backyard patio and everyone was having a good time.

Only the grand finale awaited. You took a sip of your “penis colada” and took another look out of the window, waiting for the entertainment to arrive.

That same evening, Officers Ward and Jakoby were the closest when the call came in for a 415 - a Noise Complaint - so they headed to respond. After a short drive, they pulled up to a small house in a quiet neighborhood. There were a few balloons out front: it must be a oarty if some kind. Just before they parked, Daryl got a call from home. His daughter Sophia was sick and he’d been waiting for an update.

"Damn it - Can you get this one? I’ve got to take this,” he asked.

Jakoby agreed, heading alone to deliver what he hoped would just be a stern warning.

Ding Dong!

The entire party screeched excitedly at the doorbell.

”Who can this be?!” Asked the bachelorette in feigned surprise, as you went to open the door.

"Why, I just can't imagine!" you responded, matching her tone. You opened the door and... damn! You had requested a police officer stripper, but you didn't expect such realism. This guy was obviously ripped. Sending an orc was an interesting touch, you thought. You knew that Samantha, the bachelorette, would be totally into this guy.

"Ma'am," he began in a stern voice that was so deep it seemed to vibrate through your chest. "We've received a noise complaint for this address. Are you the homeowner?"

"Ooh, you're good. Really selling it. She's going to love you!" You whispered, grabbed his hand and leading him into the house despite his stuttered protests.

"Oh, Samantha - I think you're about to be in some trouble!" You told her as the rest of the guests let out a chorus of "Wooo!"

"Um, Ma'am, are you the homeowner? I'm afraid we've received a noise complaint. You all are going to have to keep it down,” he told the group. Samantha was eating it up.

"Oh no! What if we don't? Will you have to cuff me?" She delivered the question in a killer flirty tone, but the orc just seemed confused.

You wondered if he was new. Didn’t they usually bring music or something?

"Um, that’s probably not going to be nec-“

He stopped mid-sentence, interrupted as a hot pink penis-shaped balloon bounced off of his head.

“TAKE IT OFF!” Someone yelled at him, sending the group into another fit of laughter and “Woo!”

The officer blinked rapidly and - was he blushing?

A few dollar bills landed at his feet.

Nick had no blessed idea what was happening.

The more firm his tone, the louder and more boisterous the group became, yet they didn’t not seem to be defiant, exactly. It was more like they expected him to do something... and he wasn’t quite sure what.

Scanning the decorations in the room, he decided he’d accidentally stumbled into some sort of human female fertility ritual.

Another guest draped a sort of long scarf around his shoulders. It was covered in fluorescent pink feathers and glittering plastic pieces shaped like male genitalia. Was this part of the ritual? He didn’t know everything about human customs and didn’t want to offend.

He turned to her with a serious look and said, “Thank you, ma’am.”

Ohh shit, you thought, as the walkie-talkie on his belt let out a staticky sound. You noticed that his boots were heavy-duty work boots, and scuffed. His strapping, muscular physique was too good to be true: this guy was not a stripper. He was a real-deal police officer.

And her friends were throwing dollar bills at him.

Could they be arrested for sexually harassing an officer of law, you wondered?

As the host and the only (mostly) sober person in attendance, you knew you had to do something.

Ding dong!

Saved by the bell. This time it really WAS the stripper. You noticed his shiny tear away costume - with shorts - and his (hopefully) professional name of “Officer Long N. Strong.”

Looking at them side by side was a trip. The orc Officer - Jakoby, according to his uniform - seemed further confused by this new guest.

”I understand we have some NAUGHTY LADIES at this location!” “Officer Strong” called out, eliciting the loudest "Woooo!" yet.

The guests barely noticed the switch as you walked Jakoby to the door, stepping outside with him on the front porch to apologize. Suddenly his face grew concerned.

”You ladies know that’s not a real police officer, right?”

Oh, this poor, sweet man.

“Yes, we know... Officer, I’m so, so sorry- we thought you were... someone else.”

“To be honest, I’m not quite sure what I walked in on, but I really do need to make sure you understand about that noise complaint. If we have to come back again," he added, casting a wary look towards the house, "it will mean a citation."

You doubted that any force on this earth could make him walk back into this house, but you nodded to make clear that you understood his warning.

”Of course, Officer. I’ll make sure everyone stays inside from now on. Thank you for being so patient. Listen,” you started, “I’m sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable in there.”

The officer smiled and shook his head. “Not at all ma’am. I wish your friend luck with... whatever she’s preparing for. Just luck in general, I suppose.”

He really had no idea what the party was. You were unable to stifle a smile as you looked in his golden eyes. God, he was handsome. You let your eye contact linger for another second and felt your face flush. In a moment of bravery, you reached into your pocket and pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper.

Nick climbed back into the police car in a daze. Ward kind of snort-laughed and shook his head as his partner took his place in the driver’s seat.

”Nice boa, Nick. Really goes well with the badge and gun.”

Nick had forgotten he was still wearing the feather boa covered in glittery plastic dicks. He removed the boa as he responded, folding it and placing it carefully on the seat as if it were a totem of powerful magic.

”Ward, do human women use magic? I think they may have been casting a love spell or fertility rite of some kind in there.” Ward cracked up at this.

“Shit, Nick. At least tell me they tipped well!”

He would ask his partner for an explanation later. For now he felt a little giddy as he thought of... you. He reached into his pocket and unfolded the paper you’d given him, reading it again. On it was your number, and a message:

Call me, cutie! -Y/N

#bright #bright netflix #nick jakoby x reader #nick jakoby #orc #daryl ward #bright fanfiction #nick jakoby fanfiction

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isabellaflynns · 6 years

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The Party | Chatzy

Summary: Isabella and Oswald see Edward and Stephen at Tony’s party. She decides to confront them Trigger warnings: Obsession, stalking, mentions of abuse, mentions of kidnap, mentions of violence Written by: @isabellaflynns, @matterandcells, @riddle-me-that and @stillpenguinking

Isabella: Isabella had been getting steadily drunk ever since she'd arrived. She had only gone to the party because she knew that Edward would be here – this party had been discussed at work, and she knew Edward well enough to realise that he probably idolised a genius like Tony Stark, and he would almost certainly be here.

It was surprisingly easy to get into – the security was practically non-existent – and now she was standing in a large room, watching Edward and Stephen together. She had to return to the bar every so often to get a new drink, and now she was standing by herself with a strawberry cocktail in her hand, staring silently at the two men. Seeing them so close, so happy, wasn't even shocking anymore. The initial surprise had worn off. She didn't even care when this had happened, or why. All she felt was a hole, which had at first been caused by sadness, but was now being filled with alcohol-fuelled anger.

Oswald: Oswald had no idea why he agreed to come with Isabella to this party every since they arrived all she wanted to do was watch Edward and Stephen. It made him sick to See Edward so sickly happy with another man. Sure he was good looking but wasn't he suppose to be with Isabella? Leave it to Ed to steal Isa's possible love interest for his own. He sighed following her around while keeping silent. He took another drink before looking at her " this isn't healthy I'm just letting you know now"

Isabella: When she had invited Oswald, Isabella hadn't known that Edward would be with Stephen. She had hoped her friend could act as moral support, if she saw Edward alone, but as soon as she'd seen Edward with Stephen, she had completely ignored Oswald and just wanted to watch them. It seemed like Edward was nervous about something – she could tell from his hand gestures, and restlessness – and she wished she could hear them.

Oswald spoke, and Isabella turned to him. "I don't care," she said sharply. She turned back to look at Edward and Stephen. "They make an odd couple, don't they?" she said, rhetorically. "Edward is a man of science. Stephen's a magician. It's hardly fitting." It had been more painful to watch them happy together. Now they seemed to be in a more serious discussion, it was easier to focus on her anger. All she had wanted to do was love Edward, and he had thrown it back in her face, and paralysed her. And the alcohol was making her head swim alarmingly.

Oswald: Oswald hated how happy Edward looked mostly because it brought up the fun times they had in their relationship, Of course he didn't opening want to hate on anyone Ed dated heaven knows Isabella did it enough for the both of them. He couldn't help but down his whole drink listening to her before answering her. " Huh... Him being a magician didn't seem to bother you. A true Women of Science Isa" He said getting a refill to his drink. "Now I'll have you know you do anything crazy I have permission from Harley to stop you. Fume from a distance " He said taking her drink away " No more for you and let's do something else."

Isabella: It took Isabella a moment to think of a fitting response. "Yes, well," she replied coldly, "I'm much more accepting of the preternatural than Edward." She might have also been a woman of science, but she'd had to accept science fiction and horror because of what she was. When Oswald returned with a refilled glass, she gritted her teeth. "Anything crazy? That's ridiculous. I'm just watching him. I can keep my distance."

She was about to take another sip of her strawberry cocktail, when he took the drink right from her hands. The audacity was genuinely starling, and for a second, she just stared at him. "Oswald. I'm not going to do anything crazy. The last time I told Edward I loved him, he paralysed me." She hadn't meant to tell him that – it just slipped out – and she immediately cut herself off. "Please give me my drink."

Oswald: Oswald couldn't help but smile following her line of sight straight towards Edward " Yes well, It seems Edward's handing Stephen just fine" He replied looking at her before attacking to move her away from the scene. but of course she wouldn't move if it meant she couldn't see Edward " Isa dear we both know you lose... clarity when Edward is involved. You are also not blinking, breathing or moving... Is this party going to turn into a horror movie?" He took a sip of her drink before freezing "HE DID WHAT?" He said before flicking her cheek. "You don't love him and what he did wasn't right but damn it Isa Let the man breath"

Isabella: "I don't –" Isabella began, before stopping. She knew Oswald was right. She lost clarity around Edward. But this wasn't like that. She was furious. Mingled in with the usual blinding obsession, this time there was anger. All she wanted to do was love him, and he had done that to her. Oswald's shock at what she'd accidentally admitted wasn't surprising, but when he flicked her on the cheek, she turned to him quickly. "Let the man breathe?" she repeated, disbelievingly. "Do you know what he did, Oswald? I told him I loved him, and he paralysed me. With some toxin he's been making."

She glanced back to see Edward staring right at her, straight into her eyes. She stared right back, not blinking, or moving an inch, her gaze burning into him. And then he said something to Stephen, and the two of them left the room hurriedly. "Oh no you don't," she murmured, and she took off after them without a word to Oswald, not caring if he followed or not. She walked into the busy hallway, weaving between the crowds, actually glad that Oswald had taken her drink, because if she was still holding it, she might have smashed it in her grip.

Oswald: Oswald watched her almost wishing Harley were here, she could just hug her or kiss Isabella to take her mind off Edward while he snuck away. But no as a favor he said he'd take care of Isa tonight, what a mistake this was. He wasn't sure if it was his own saltiness coming out to meet hers or just wished they'd move past this " Do you remember what you did????" He said sighing " Yes Paralyzing you were maybe wrong but I bet he got scared and that's why he did it"

Before Oswald could even finish a through she was off again chasing him down like a bloodhound, sighing he grabbed her arm allowing her to drag him around "really? you know how stupid we look right now? I need more to drink if this is your activity of choice"

Isabella: "Of course I remember what I did," Isabella snapped. "I hardly think about anything else." How could Oswald think she didn't remember? It hardly warranted making a paralytic agent, did it? And the way he'd used it -- how he'd walked so close to her, and touched her face gently. He had betrayed her. He and Stephen both. She gritted her teeth. "Maybe he got scared," she said scathingly, dragging Oswald through the crowded hallway. "Did it ever occur to him that I was scared too? That I was scared when he stalked me, when he killed me, when he watched me in my own home? I've been terrified of Edward more times than I can count. But I still loved him. I loved him despite that." That was what love was. It was forgiveness and understanding.

Oswald said he needed more to drink, and she roughly shook her arm to make him let go. "Fine. Get yourself something to drink. I can speak to Edward by myself. I don't need a guard, Oswald."

Oswald: Oswald sighed of course they were just going in a circle with this fight, if it was the Paralytic agent it was farmhouse if it wasn't that it was their past. All over this signs yet they never seemed to see them. "Maybe those incidents should tell you that you two being together is nothing but pain, blood and fear and that anything good you had died out long ago."

He groaned as he got hit as they went through crowds. "You should love him, you should fear him... you should be running the other way and into Harley's arms if you want the truth. That's a woman that understands you. In fact let's call her huh?" He said looking at her before pulling her into a tight hug when they stopped. "I don't care what you need I'm not leaving your side. Deal."

Isabella: Isabella shouldered her way past a couple who she couldn't get around, heedless to their complaints. Oswald mentioned Harley, and she glanced back, irritated. "Oswald, we might be friends now, but that doesn't give you a right to comment on my relationship with Harley," she said. Edward had done the same, in the farmhouse. "We don't need to call her. She's busy." Why on earth would they bother Harls? Oswald was overreacting. Harley was busy. There was no need to get her involved. This was between her and Edward.

Oswald was looking at her like he was worried, and he pulled her into a hug before she could protest, or stop him. She hugged him back for a moment – only a second – and then pulled away. She looked him right into his eyes. "Okay. But I'm going to see Edward. I have to." She spun away and took off again, into the crowd, before he could stop her.

And then she saw him. He was alone. And, though she'd been following him, now she could actually see him, she stopped dead in her tracks. Fury was an unfamiliar emotion when it came to Edward – she'd been angry at him, in the farmhouse, but this was different. That had been hazy, cloudy, rage, propelled by madness. This was clear, righteous, anger for a wrong he'd committed against her. It felt refreshing.

Edward: Edward was waiting patiently for Stephen to come out so he could go in and change and get away from everyone in this house. So he could be alone with him and worry less about someone who probably wasn't even real. He sighed and leaned up against the wall. Closing his eyes for only a moment, trying to relax. When he felt calm enough the man opened his eyes and was greeted with an ungodly sight. Isabella, standing in front of him amongst all these people. Crap, that's really her... Rage flickered in her eyes and he immediately moved his hand to his pocket. "Isabella..." He said her name slowly, carefully.

Oswald: Oswald looked at her as if she had a right to be offend, when she not even 6 months ago felt the need the comment on his relationship with Ed. " Isabella, Being your friend is what gives that right, You need to be reminded of something that might open your eyes" He knew he was fighting a losing battle maybe he'd have better luck with the other. When he saw Edward was alone maybe if he went the other way he could beat her there.

Using his phone to call Harley cursing when it just went to voicemail He thanked whatever luck he had he'd made it to Edward first. "Ed where is Stephen? You need to go be with Stephen I'll try and hold her."

Stephen: He changed his clothes, only slightly worried about Ed. He seemed to be fine, and plus he was right. It was only a few minutes. He put on his swimming trunks, combing through his hair in the mirror to make sure he looked fine. "Best you're gonna get, Strange." he mumbled, letting out a sigh before stepping out again.

Isabella: Isabella didn't move a muscle. She just watched him, and mulled over her options. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do, now he was right there. Her fury was like ice in her veins, cooling any irrational impulsivity she might have otherwise felt. He said her name slowly, and reached for something in his pocket. It was probably that godforsaken toxin. She met his gaze. "Hello Edward," she replied, though it seemed wildly inappropriate to greet him, under these circumstances. Oswald walked beside Edward – he must have found a quicker way through the crowd – and addressed Edward as if she wasn't even there. I'll try and hold her.

"Oh, for goodness sake," she said impatiently, walking closer to them, close enough that she could actually hear them over the crowd and music, but not within arm's length of Edward, in case he pulled out a syringe. "Nobody has to hold anybody, Oswald. Don't be ridiculous." She then pointedly ignored him, and focused all of her attention on Edward. "Please don't try to paralyse me again," she said. "I don't want things to escalate."

Edward: When Oswald addressed him, Ed glanced over to him. "No, Oswald. It's fine. As much as I appreciate you trying to help me. I have it under control." He alerted him, though his tone was nervous, he actively had to think about not moving his hands too much or Isabella would be able to tell that he wasn't as calm as he wanted her to think. "I won't use it." He said, "So long as you keep your distance from me." He offered. He didn't actually have the serum on him, he still had to make a few more doses now that he knew the test formula worked as well as he hoped it would. But she didn't need to know that.

When Stephen stepped out of the bathroom beside him, Ed glanced over to him with telling eyes. He hoped Stephen's presence wouldn't make Isabella angrier but he was also comforted by Stephen's presence.

Oswald: Oswald sighed leave it to Edward to be yet another crazy person, threats were not going to work here that much he was sure about. He wished that Strange was here to teleport one of them away from each other but I guess him standing there was enough. "Don't goodness sake me Isa, You've been staring at him for hours! its creepy I thought we were here to have fun not stalk someone" He allowed Edward to handle it while his eye landed on Strange telling him to come and help him. He wasn't suffering this alone.

Stephen: Stephen looked at Ed, then Isabella. He sort of acknowledged Oswald, but he was more worried about the other two. "Isabella." he looked at her, then listened. "Paralyzed?" He was honestly so confused at this point. But then, when was he not? All he knew right now, though, was that Ed probably wanted to get out of there. "Sorry, guys. We were just about to go for a swim."

Isabella: For goodness sake. Why was everyone acting so tense? Isabella glared between Oswald and Edward, mostly focusing her attention on the latter. He said he wasn't going to use it as long as she kept her distance, and felt a wave of relief, which she tried to hide. "Don't worry," she said. "I'm keeping my distance. You're a liar, Edward. There's a high possibility that you will try to stick me with that needle again even if I stay away from you." Oswald snapped at her, and Isabella turned to him. "Don't exaggerate. It was hardly hours. And I told you to leave if you wanted to. You insisted on staying."

Stephen walked out of the bathroom, and she watched him assess the situation within a matter of seconds. As if it was any of his business. His attempt to lighten the mood was actually welcomed – Edward and Oswald were acting ridiculously melodramatic – but it was clear to see that he was trying to remove Edward. "Were you?" she asked, her gaze alighting on Stephen. He hadn't hurt her the way Edward had – not even close – but looking at him still made her chest ache. He said he'd wanted to help her, and he'd probably been with Edward the whole time. "Well, you should know that Edward is carrying a needle full of a barely-tested paralytic drug. I'm sure you're in no danger, Stephen, but it seems only right that you're warned. He has a terrible track record when it comes to murdering his dates."

As she said that final sentence, she turned back to Edward, and it was so unfamiliar to look at him with anger, but so novel too. She still loved him, of course, but right then, all she could feel was rage.

Edward: Edward shook his head. "I'm not lying. You know I don't lie, and I don't cheat." He told her, the words were sharp. "I won't inject you." Because I can't. It wasn't a lie. "But if you're so afraid that I will, why are you here? Why were you watching me? Can't you just... Can't you just move on like we talked about? That's all I want to do."

Edward glanced over to Stephen. All he wanted to do was go with him to swim, to be alone with Stephen but here Isabella was... ruining it. He sighed. Moving his hand nervously. "It's only for you, Isabella. It won't have the same effect on a regular human being. It will only effect you like that. Theoretically it might make someone sick, but it's targeted for you. So you can't hurt me anymore. Let's face it, Isabella. You're not exactly sane. You practically forced yourself on me. That's why I had to use it." He closed his eyes when she outed him.

"That's hardly fair, Isabella." He said quietly. "That's a misconception. I was sick when I... That was one time and it was an accident. It's not something I'm proud of."

Oswald: Oswald allowed their little fight to happened until Isabella turned her attack on him " It was hours, stop being a drama queen, and you know why I couldn't leave." He points the their conversation happening now. " Let's not go pointing fingers, I think Stephen and Edward going Swimming ALONE Isabella is a swell idea How about we go check out the game room. FAR always from either of them"

Even he could see the anger in her eyes and knew this would only get worse. "Edward don't provoke her go over to Stephen and go swimming."

Stephen: Stephen wasn't sure how to react. "Isabella. I thought you were trying to get better. You told me that." He tried not to make her too upset, but he just wanted to take Ed away from her. He reached behind Ed, touching his back encouragingly. He listened about the paralytic drug that he had, and that he had murdered his dates. Stephen felt a bit skeptical about it. "Ed has his own issues, just as you do Isabella. I'm trying to be supportive here, but you are doing exactly what he did. Telling me things that should be his to tell." Stephen felt a little angry, but he didn't need to focus on that. He took Ed by the arm. "We're here to have a good time and talk, so please just go back with your friend here and maybe we can schedule a time to meet up when you feel better."

Isabella: That voice. The one Edward always used with her when she was angry. As if she was some hysterical housewife who needed reasoning with. As if he was trying to calm her down. The misogyny of it. She usually loved it when he was gentle with her, but right then, it was patronising. He asked her why she was there, why she was watching him, and she almost snapped back a reason, but she couldn't put it into words. Because he was happy with Stephen, and she hated it? Because he was happy with anyone? Because he had damaged her and terrified her when all she wanted was to love him? She closed her mouth and didn't say anything.

The toxin was only for her. Of course. He had targeted it for her. How very clever of him. There was something so disgusting about that, so personal, so deliberate and malicious. She glanced at the pocket he'd reached for, the pocket she knew had the syringe in. And she felt a flicker of fear, beneath the anger. Being frozen again, unable to move, at his mercy, helpless. Edward was speaking again, and she glanced back at him. "Hardly fair?" she repeated, in a shrill voice. "You're talking about fair? Oh my. That's rich!"

Oswald suggested they leave – which was such a pointless thing to say that she didn't even acknowledge it – but then he told Edward not to provoke her, as if she was a wild animal, and it felt like a betrayal. Oswald was siding with them. He was supposed to be her friend, and he was standing next to Edward, closer to Stephen, as if she was the enemy. She looked at him in silence for a few seconds, letting him see the hurt and betrayal.

But then Stephen spoke. I thought you were trying to get better. Isabella turned to him. He was using the same calm voice that Edward had – so much like Hugo Strange – and she felt, for a surreal moment, like she didn't know him. She just stared at him as he talked, accusing her of being a hypocrite when he didn't even understand the entire situation. When it had nothing to do with him. He was trying to be supportive? What a stupid thing to say. She looked pointedly at his hand on Edward's arm, as if Stephen was supporting him. As if he needed supporting.

"You think I don't feel perfectly fine right now?" she asked. She hated that phrase. Feel better. "He shouldn't be allowed to have a good time. He shouldn't be allowed to... fraternise! With you! Of all people! Have you told him you love him after a single date too?" She turned to Edward, her eyes burning with hatred. "And you. I love you. But how dare you trick me like that? Trick me, and lie to me, and paralyse me?" A sob rose in her throat – ugly and embarrassing and choking – and she tried to swallow it down. "I feel better than I have done in weeks, because I can finally hate you again, Edward."

Edward: He listened to her as she went off, it was the kind of angry she got at him during the farmhouse, when he didn't do what she said or when he complained so much. She'd snap at him like everything he was doing was wrong and she was always in the right. He felt a small bit of guilt when she said that she loved him. Currently, in the present. Even after he paralyzed her? Edward swallowed the lump in his throat and his eyes finally fell off of hers and instead focussed on anyone else. On Oswald, on Stephen. On anyone besides her. Just for a moment before he breathed out a long, deep sigh and glanced back up at her.

What she said about Stephen, saying he loved him on the first date struck a cord with him. Stephen did say it, and it made him wonder again if he even cared. He ignored it and focused on what she was saying. "I had to paralyze you. How else am I supposed to protect myself from you? You're- You're indestructible. You hurt me again and again and..." He took his hand away from his pocket and tried to move it up into his hair but it was stopped by Stephen's hand. Which was gently holding his arm. So instead he just nervously moved his fingers. "I can never defend myself from you... I don't care if you say you love me. When it really comes down to it, whether you mean it or not- you always hurt me." He said. "I'm sorry-" He whispered. "But what else am I supposed to do? You're not normal. I can't just hit you and get you to stop, can I?"

Oswald: Oswald took noticed of the almost look of betrayal Isabella seemed to sport looking at him, it was obvious the women hadn't paid attention to anything he'd said. He heard the things she was saying knowing it would only hurt Edward and make Stephen wary of dating him. He hated the thought of Edward dating another male but he'd never try and take his happiness away again. "Isabella Stop It! You are saying mean things just to hurt Edward and scare Stephen. His past is his own to tell" He said before listening to the other "And For the record Edward doesn't fall in love that fast, nor does he kill everyone he's dating in case you are still in that SICK mindset that Ed and I never dated?"

He turned towards Stephen " She is Sick you can tell, you know some of it...Just take Edward away or this will get worse she is already not listening to me. While I'm not condoning his use of that medicine Isabella can be very terrifying when coming at you. Please don't think badly of Edward of what he did..."

Stephen: He stared at Isabella, shocked by how ridiculous she was being. Obviously she wasn't fine. She was upset, and that was okay, but this was a public setting. This was not the time or place to do all of this. He had never seen her look so insane in his life. How could she think that any of this was okay? When she made the comment about confessing his love to Ed, he felt a sting, swallowing and clenching his fists, a few sparks of magic coming out of them. He tried to control himself, but even Stephen could only take so much. "I'm sorry, I obviously didn't know what I was doing when I said that I loved you. Because you don't love anyone, Isabella." he held onto Ed, "You don't love Ed. At least Ed was honest with me about having issues. At least he is considerate towards other people's feelings. That's why he's still standing here trying to reason with you right now." Stephen knew he was speaking out of anger at this point, but he was just so upset. "I have more reason to love Ed than you do."

Isabella: You're indestructible. Isabella had always hated what she was. She hated the fact that nothing would kill her – that even a freight train hadn't killed her. Hearing Edward state it in such a matter-of-fact way, in front of Stephen no less, was awful. But he didn't stop. He said it didn't matter that she loved him, that she still hurt him, and she couldn't look at him anymore, even in anger. She looked at the floor. He couldn't just hit her to make her stop? Was that...? No, it couldn't be a reference to Tom. Even Edward wouldn't stoop that low. But it felt like that was what he was referencing. It made her think of being weak, being vulnerable, being fragile. Isabella hated her strength and her invulnerability, but at least she could never be harmed again.

Oswald was addressing Stephen as if she wasn't even there – she is sick as you can tell – and she wanted to scream. She wanted to shout at him to stop talking about her like she wasn't even there. He was supposed to be her friend. He was supposed to be on her side. God, she wasn't even angry. She was just hurt, hurt that she could have fallen for Oswald's lies. He thought she was insane. He thought she was still sick. And then he told Stephen to not think badly of Edward for what he did, as if that was even remotely important, and she finally looked up and stared at Oswald. "Oh yes," she said, and she knew she sounded hysterical, but she couldn't help it. "Let's not think badly of Edward! God forbid! Let's forgive him no matter what and just forget about all the awful things he's done!"

She wouldn't have looked back at Stephen had it not been for sparks. She turned sharply to him. Besides the portal he'd made on their date, this was her first sight of something so blatantly magical. For a moment, she just blinked. But then he spoke, and he was angrier than she'd ever heard him. There was something perfectly terrible about hearing someone as kind and good as Stephen sound so angry. He didn't know what he was doing when he said he loved her. Because you don't love anyone, Isabella.

The anger went out of her then. Her shoulders lowered, and she just looked at Stephen. "Considerate," she repeated in disbelief. She was talking to lunatics. What were they saying? How could they see Edward as the good one here? In what world was Edward considerate? "Edward is considerate." Her tone was scathing, brimming with sarcasm.

She looked into Stephen's eyes. "You said you would help me," she said. "But you're taking his side." And then she took a deep breath, and shouted, "You don't know what he's done! You don't know the half of it!" How could she begin to explain? How could she reason with mad people? She blinked, because her vision was blurring now. People were looking at them, but Isabella didn't pay them any mind. She turned to Edward. "You know I'm right. You know it." She wasn't begging, or imploring. It was a fact. Oswald and Stephen didn't understand. But Edward did.

Edward: All of this felt like too much for Ed's sick mind to process. Oswald was defending him, talking directly to Stephen and telling him not to think badly of him and he expected for a second, Stephen to take all of this information and be angry at Ed for all of this. For what he's done to Isabella, for what she had implied but all of Stephen's attention seemed to be at Isabella. Of course what Isabella said about Stephen had been rude but she was right, wasn't she? Stephen had told them both that he loved them. That was a fact. It was also a fact that Ed wasn't entirely innocent in this and he had hurt her. The way she hurt him. Even if Ed knew in his heart that it was self defence. If it were anyone but Isabella, he wouldn't even be thinking of her side of things but it was Isabella... and Ed felt so sick and so confused around her. They had so, so much history. What was he supposed to do with that?

Stephen's fists began to shed sparks and Ed gave them the quickest of glances. The last thing he wanted was another fight... so he gently placed his hand on the man's shoulder. Just realizing then that he was shaking when his hand came into his sight. I have more reason to love Ed than you do. He didn't know what to do with all this information. So he brought his other hand to his head and gently pressed on his temple. Trying to ignore his own shakes.

Isabella was going off again, talking about how he was always forgiven despite what he had done and didn't know what to say to that. What he had done never mattered to Oswald because he was the same as Ed and Stephen not yet knew about everything that Edward had done. He swallowed and before he could find the words to say to that. Isabella went off again. There was so much emotion in her tone and he knew what it was from, because he was feeling it too. As well as so much stress within him. He took his hand off of Stephen when she said that Stephen was supposed to help her. They're eyes finally met again and Edward's heart dropped to his stomach. He was feeling it... an overwhelming guilt. His hands began to wring together, still shaking. His emotions and his stress was getting in the way of thinking straight and so much inside of him was screaming at Edward to agree with her. "Yes, you're right." But it didn't make him feel much better. "I've done terrible things but you... you've also done horrible things to me. I'm just trying to move on from you and you're the one who's stalking me and who can't see me happy." His hand moved down and gently cupped one of his wrists. "I can't forgive you... you need to accept that."

Oswald: Oswald knew he'd done the wrong thing the moment Isabella came at him with the knowledge that he'd taken Edward's side. He wasn't trying to take anyone's side, he just wanted to enjoy the party with his friend. He stayed quiet for a while thinking on how Harley might handle this situation when dealing with Isabella in her sicken state. It didn't take him long to Notice that all of this shouting was drawing attention and that Isa's sickness was starting to bring out Eds. Slowly Oswald moved from Edward's side to stand in front of Isabella gently taking his hands to put on her arms " Isa I'm not taking anyone's side...Nor do I think forgive and forget is the solutions here." He spoke to only her keeping his focus on calming her down. " All I want is for us to hang out and have fun, without worrying about him. I'll ask again, Would you please come with me? I just want to help"

He wasn't sure any of his words were helping he wasn't Harley, and most definitely wasn't Edward or Stephen. At the moment he was sure she didn't even think him a friend. But Watching them talk only made him want everyone to go their separate ways. This discussion had escalated without even trying and he was hoping to bring back some of the calm. He heard' Edward's almost weaken voice slip through from behind, they both needed to let one another go, as he'd said they'd only would hurt each other again and again if this relationship was allowed to continue. " I think Edward has said his peace, its maybe something you don't want to hear or even think about but its how he feels and I'm sorry Isabella but you must respect that"

Stephen: Stephen saw how upset that Isabella looked after he spoke. He felt Ed's hand on his shoulder and he took in a breath, the magic stopping from his hands. He swallowed, staring at her. Why was he getting so mad? She was right. He wanted to apologize, but he couldn't get the words to leave his mouth for a while. He let Ed speak then, reaching up and touching his hand that was shaking. He looked at Isabella when everyone else had finished speaking. "I'm sorry." he murmured. "I didn't... I shouldn't have said those things." he licked his lips. "I didn't mean for Ed to happen but he did." he licked his lips. "I just wanted to go swimming."

He brought a hand up to his face, running it down. He just wanted to have some peace and talk to Edward and get to know him. Now who knows how he feels about what he said to Isabella. Everything was a total mess. "Ed hasn't lied to me, Isabella. He hasn't told me everything yet, but he hasn't hidden anything from me. I know that you're not going to understand, but I'm so sure of Ed. I didn't do this to hurt you... This entire time my feelings have been so confusing, and now I know for sure what I want. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth." he took in a breath. "I did want to help you, Isa. I did. My feelings were just hurt and I reacted badly."

Isabella: Edward was shivering. Isabella watched his hands as he wrung them together, shaking, and she swallowed thickly. She had wanted him to be afraid of her. She'd been so angry. But now he actually was – she could see his progress unravelling in front of her like threads – and she didn't know how to feel. This was all his fault. He had paralysed her, and thrown her love back in her face, and now he was treating her like she was insane for finally seeing clearly for the first time in so long. She Edward well enough to see that he was struggling – he put his hand to his forehead, as if he was trying to hold his thoughts inside his head – and she just watched him. And then he said she was right. He said he'd done terrible things to her. He admitted it. Was that what she'd wanted to happen? For him to agree with her? She had no allies here. But Edward was the only who really understood. And now he'd agreed.

I can't forgive you. You need to accept that. Isabella froze. She had asked, begged, for his forgiveness so many times. She had almost walked off a rooftop to make him happy. She had been emotionally manipulated, shot in the face, paralysed. When would it be enough? When would she have done enough to earn his forgiveness? God, she was so sick of chasing him. Of chasing his approval or his forgiveness or his love. He didn't want to give it. He said he wanted to move on, and Isabella just looked at him emptily. How could she move on? How could she move on from what she'd done, if he didn't forgive her? She wanted to shout at him again, but she was so tired. All of this was so tiring.

Oswald hobbled forwards, and, before she could stop him, he put his hands on her shoulders. Isabella tore her gaze away from Edward and looked at him. He called her Isa. He hadn't sided with them. He was still her friend. He wanted her to come with him. And that was enough to break her. Perhaps it was because it was such a simple gesture of kindness, or because she had thought he'd betrayed her and sided with Edward and Stephen, or maybe it was because she was so angry and full of hatred. Whatever the reason, Isabella felt a dam inside her break, and her eyes filled with tears. She closed them tightly, and pressed her lips together. No, no, no, no. She mustn't cry. Not in front of them. Not in front of Edward. God, why was she even crying? It was ridiculous.

After a few moments, she said, "Thank you, Oswald," in a tight voice. And she opened her eyes again to watch Stephen as he spoke. He said that he hadn't meant for Edward to happen, but he did. And she almost wanted to laugh at that. Edward had a habit of happening when people didn't want him to. Stephen argued that Edward hadn't lied to him – that he simply hadn't told him the whole truth – and if she hadn't been so worn out, Isabella would have been angry at that. She had kept the truth from Stephen too. She hadn't lied to him either, but she hadn't told him everything. Why was Edward allowed a free pass? Why was Stephen not holding that against Edward, but he'd seen it as enough to cut things off between them? But she was too tired. She didn't want to fight him. After a moment, she said, "You're right. You shouldn't have said those things, Stephen. And you did react badly. You're so upset that I kept my sickness from you. But I would have told you. If you'd given me a chance." She didn't really mourn their relationship. It was what it was, now.

She turned to Edward. "I'm tired of asking for your forgiveness. I'm not going to do it again. As you said, I can't see you happy. So I'm not going to see you. I'm quite finished with being treated like a villain." She put a hand on Oswald's shoulder to steady herself, and said to him softly, "I want to go home." She wanted to see Harley, to be with people who didn't treat her like she was insane, who didn't shake in her presence. In truth, she couldn't stand the sight of Edward and Stephen anymore.

Edward: Oswald stepped in front of Isabella and tried to defuse the situation. He had been trying this whole time and it was honestly very brave of him. He knew what Isabella could potentially do to him and yet he still put his hands on her anyway. Ed couldn't decide whether he loved him for it or thought his old best friend was being stupid for trying to touch her when she was this angry and upset. Isabella wasn't really a brute, but she had the tendency of accidentally harming people. She didn't know her own strength. He remembered once when she held him against a wall and he felt his sternum creak. He couldn't breathe and she was crushing his chest like a weight. Like torture. And here Oswald was, risking getting hurt for him. What a good friend. He thought to himself, but didn't dare to say anything about it out loud.

He listened to Stephen's confessions and glanced over at him as he spoke. He didn't mean for him to happen. Of course he didn't, but fate had other plans for them. It wasn't Edward's intentions to take Stephen away from Isabella either but that drunken night had stayed in his head and because of it, he began catching feelings for the other. It wasn't something that Ed or Stephen were able to resist. Stephen made him happy. Why would he ignore that in favour of Isabella? He sighed softly after listening to him apologize to her. It was the right thing to do. He was a good man, but Isabella was right. He didn't give her a chance. Ed was pretty sure that was his fault. He came in and disrupted their relationship like a wrecking ball but it really wasn't something he meant to keep doing. He was angry that once, when Stephen said he loved her and he let out something he shouldn't have, but continuing his relationship with Stephen- that was something that just happened.

Isabella said she wasn't going to see him anymore and Ed swallowed. It would be for the better. For both of them. To just move on. "A villain?" He whispered before sighing. He didn't want to start another argument so he let it go. "You're right. But you're being treated that way because you did something wrong... like I have." He told her before shaking his head. "Good. I'm glad. It will be safer for both of us if we just part ways."

Oswald: Oswald wasn’t sure him touching Isabella would be allowed but he was sure going to try. He’d been attack before and if he needed to be once again in order for Edward and Stephen to get away he would. He felt as strongly about Edward as Isabella did, but learned to push it down and hide it. Of course, he wanted at times to just pull the other aside and scream at him for ruining their friendship along with their mistake of a relationship. But there was always someone with more important problems in front of him.

He was glad that Stephen and Edward at least attempted to give him help in ensuring she could go away. He just needed to get her home, and soured by things that would calm her down. He couldn’t get ahold of Harley and knew Isa was in little shape to be alone. He keeps quite allowing everyone else to speak their peace before he gave her a small smile at the fact she placed her arm around him and said she wanted to go home. It was a start small if anything he’d broken through to Isa through the sickness. “Okay, I’ll take you home and we can hang out there together okay?” He whispered back softly.

He almost tensed when he heard Edward almost pick another over her word use, he quickly turns his head and give a subtle shake to tell Edward it was not the time. They needed to be part, he needed to get Isabella out of here and away from her trigger. “Let’s go yeah?”

Stephen: Stephen watched Isabella. She was looking as if they were attacking her. Granted, Stephen did get mad and yell at her, but he had felt hurt. He took Ed's hand on his shoulder, moving it down so he could hold it. He decided it was best for him not to speak anymore. But he did listen. At least Isabella didn't seem so hostile. He was worried about Ed's safety. The sorcerer heard her comment about being the 'villain' and he sighed, but again said nothing.

#[watch out guys]#[this is a long one]#chatzy #edward #stephen #oswald

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rebeccaheyman · 4 years

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reading + listening 10.20.20

My review is a day late because I allocated some of my weekly reading time to binge-watching ENOLA HOLMES on Netflix (based on a book, so had to check it out). What a charming, beautifully constructed, well-acted show! The closer we get to Election Day, the more easily-consumable content I need, which basically means non-stop Bake Off and/or novel adaptations from here to November 3rd.

Without further ado, my reviews:

All Stirred Up (Brianne Moore), aBook (narr. by Mary Jane Wells). I actually ended up receiving an ARC of this audiobook last week, despite the fact that the release was earlier this month. Not sure exactly how that happened but here we are all the same! My 3-star review from NetGalley:

I confess I chose this title based almost entirely on the fact that it's narrated by Mary Jane Wells, one of my favorite narrators of all time. MJW could narrate the phone book and I'd probably give it a fair listen, but luckily her material in Brianne Moore's ALL STIRRED UP is considerably more dynamic--not to mention a perfect canvas for MJW to flex her range, accents, and humor.

ALL STIRRED UP is pitched as _inspired by_ Austen's Persuasion; it is NOT pitched as a Persuasion retelling, which seems to have escaped several other reviewers. The trendiness of Austen comps has made me wary of contemporary titles that lay claim to a comparison, especially since many of them are so atrocious. I would much rather see Alcove and Dreamscape market this title around more realistic comps: SCHITT'S CREEK meets DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME, with a helping of GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW heaped on for good measure. Like Mhairi McFarlane's work, ALL STIRRED UP features a slow-burn, second-chance romance, and two protagonists who have a number of personal demons to excise before they can get to the business of loving one another. The plot largely relies on external, non-romantic conflict to move forward, but Susan's family drama touched on compelling (if at times heartbreaking) issues that brought the Napier clan to life in brilliant detail.

Make no mistake, the romance itself is not the central conflict here; marketing should stress that this is contemporary fiction and/or women's fiction. While the history between Susan and Chris gives rise to emotional tension throughout the book, their relationship is NOT the central conflict -- and therefore this is not a category romance. I stress this because a good number of reviews seem to dock stars for the fact, but the book delivers on its promises if you actually read the blurb. Again, marketing might have considered a cover that doesn't lean so heavily on romance cues (feature more of the Napier family, feature Susan alone, accentuate the dueling restaurants rather than their owners, etc).

I was mostly charmed by ALL STIRRED UP, despite some emotional blows from parent/grandparent/friend deaths (in the past, not in the action proper), former drug abuse, and depictions of an anxiety disorder/ptsd. Ultimately, I found this novel heartfelt and uplifting, with the added bonus of authentic-feeling foodie content. MJW's narration is absolute perfection, and I hope we get more Moore/Wells collabs in the future.

The Project (Courtney Summers) eBook ARC (pub date: February 2021). Slam-dunk five-star read from my favorite suspense author. My review on NetGalley:

Few writers do suspense as artfully as Courtney Summers; years after reading SADIE, I can still easily recall the tense, aching anxiety I felt while reading it, and my heartfelt sadness at its conclusion. Summers' latest, THE PROJECT, delivers big when it comes to tension, aching anxiety, and heartfelt sadness all -- but it is also a masterclass in dual timeline structure, emotional depth, enigmatic characterization, and subtlety.

Lo's and Bea's relationships to one another, as well as The Unity Project and its mysterious leader, Lev Warren, propel the action of the novel forward. Lo sets out to answer a central question: Where is Bea? And second to that, is The Project a good-works-driven charitable organization, or a cult of personality with a dark underbelly? The more Lo uncovers about The Project, the less clear its purpose becomes -- while at the heart of it all stands Lev Warren, Redeemer and redeemed, lover and beloved.

Summers is one of those very rare authors writing true "crossover" -- fiction that could be as easily assigned to YA as adult audiences. To limit THE PROJECT to either category would be to deny its importance to both. About young readers, Summers recently wrote in a PW article, that they inhabit "a world where the cost of their education could be the bullet that kills their dreams, a world where they’ve witnessed the gross government mishandling of a pandemic, a world where the brutal killings of Black Americans at the hands of police go largely unanswered for, and a world where the flagrant disregard of their future by politically powerful climate change deniers is pulling us ever closer to a global crisis from which there will be no return." Lo's life reflects the complexity of today's young adult experience without dragging the specifics of _now_. The result is nuanced portrait of a young woman living a decidedly adult life, rarely of her own volition, and with the added complication of a traumatic history.

THE PROJECT is an up-all-night, read-til-its-done page-turner that kept me guessing to the end (and I'm hard to surprise!). I'm hopeful that Netflix will pick this up for series development, as it would utterly crush when translated to the screen. Looking ever so forward to more from an author who just gets better with every release.

From Blood and Ash (Jennifer L Armentrout), eBook. Imagine if you would the most reductive, hackneyed mash-up of SJM and Twihard, and you’ll get close to understanding what FROM BLOOD AND ASH is all about. For several days last week, it felt like the readers I follow on social media were obsessing over this book; they praised the OTP romance, dynamic world-building, and nonstop plot. But what I found instead was a poorly developed world rife with all the old familiar tropes, a romance that brings up serious issues of consent and gaslighting, and reliance on poorly reinvented plot lines from better trashy fantasies. Le sigh.

Perhaps it’s my old age, but I’ve lost my taste for books that spend significant time and narrative space developing the in-world cultural, social, political, and religious structures, only to “gotcha” the hero(ine) and reader by revealing it was aLL a LiE. This book does that in last-gasp attempt to salvage some conflict late in Act III, and it’s not okay.

Also not okay is the power imbalance between the heroine and her very-obviously-the-mysterious-baddie-no-one’s-ever-seen counterpart. Review after review praises the hot heat in FBaA, but I couldn’t get past the hate-banging. Men who yell TELL ME YOU WANT THIS while practically inside their partners are not enacting a sexy, heroic, impassioned version of consent; they’re just ticking a box for “not rape” that has nothing to do with actual desire. It’s a hard pass for me.

This was almost as much of a letdown as Serpent & Dove, but both titles can battle it out for Most Derivative Trash Fantasy 2020.

The Bromance Book Club and Undercover Bromance (Bromance Book Club #2) (Lyssa Kay Adams), aBook (narr. Andrew Eiden, with Maxwell Caulfield on book 1). I snagged the first of this series from my library’s digital collection when I was looking for some easy listening over the weekend, and I’m so pleased to tell you this is an incredibly charming series. Adams turns some familiar romance tropes upside-down by focusing on a group of men (the titular book club) who read romance novels -- aka manuals -- to better understand their relationships with women. This hunky group of alphas has a collectively soft underbelly; they live by the lessons gleaned from the romances die-hard readers love, such as “always run for a grand gesture” and “back story is everything.” In Bromance #1, we have excerpts from a regency romance interwoven with the primary narrative, which focuses on Gavin and Thea’s almost-totally-broken marriage. Do I wish the major marital conflict had less to do with orgasms? I do. But was it a fun, intriguing, well-narrated listen with a great secondary cast and some bona fide laughs? It was. Positive rep for speech impediments added to the magic. In Undercover Bromance, Mack and Liv work the enemies-to-lovers trope to fairly great effect, though the story touches on some troublingly dark topics (CW for sexual predation, murder, domestic abuse, abandonment, childhood trauma). Still, both Liv and Mack bring some unexpected features to the narrative, and it’s great to see the dynamic secondary cast further developed from book 1. My only real complaint is the forever-dull “dead cell phone” gimmick late in Act III. I can forgive Adams this one hackneyed indulgence, though I hope she doesn’t make a habit of it. Book 3 in this series (Crazy Stupid Bromance) release October 27, and the cat/hunk/romance novel featured on the cover is all the motivation I need to preorder.

#all stirred up #the bromance book club #undercover bromance #from blood and ash #the project #netgalley #book review #romance #fantasy

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