#my friend.. my friend if yr out there.... leave....

[asbestieos]

.

that last post makes me so scared for my friend in active duty i really really hope he isnt in palestine right now, last i heard he was being deployed and on a boat to somewhere and it broke my fucking heart to hear i cant totally verify hes in palestine but, i just really want him to get out of the military and stop. He means a lot to me hes been my friend for years and i love him i care about him i think about him a lot. Jesus.. he last messaged me a month ago and hasnt been online since.. i message him so he has shit to read whenever he has connection again, i just hope he sees my messages at all. He was telling me about how beautiful the ocean looks at night and the last message he read from me was "if i ever see rhe empty ocean at night ill think of you". i wany him. To come home

#i dont even know if i can even text him about palestine or if the military cunts monitoring his wifi connection will delete my messages #my friend.. my friend if yr out there.... leave.... #thinking about my middle school classmate who is also in the army.. god #delete later

[cinna-bunnie]

hey younger ppl who grew up with strict parents, i want to share something really lovely with you that i didn't really learn myself until this year.

you do NOT have to clean ur house when u have guests over. like yeah pickup anything particularly embarrassing but have you not felt more welcomed, happy and cozy when you visited a friend's home and saw Stuff everywhere? is it not more inviting to enter a home that looks and feels very Lived In? do you not feel self-conscious about contributing to any sort of mess in a home so clean and organized it feels sterile?

Don't feel the need to keep this weird facade ingrained into us that your place needs to look perfect in order for you to hang out - just invite people over! Let them see what you're about, let the Environmental Storytelling™ do some work! i promise you it's very charming being able To See what you do and enjoy.

it took way longer than it should've for me to accept this and it's been GREAT. i don't dread the deep cleaning that having a guest used to entail because nowhere near that amount of work is necessary to hang out anymore - and I think everyone deserves to know that they don't have to work so dang hard for something that's really so so simple.

#like. lol the ppl I've enjoyed visiting the most are those friends whose place is so messy it's basically like “pick a pile to sit on😼” #i sure as fuck will!! thank u (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) i don't b having piles but i do leave some stuff out n around n whatnot. #i was in a 6yr relationship n my ex was very WE NEED TO CLEAN when we'd have ppl over once in a blue moon and like (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) #she was raised that way ‚ i was raised that way. I'm assuming we both sorta internalized that from our parents but i made #a friend this yr whose home is SUPER cozy and lived in and cluttered w stuff and i absolutely love it. it's like a visual stim. #but idk also kinda feels like laying urself bare yk? i won't go on a whole (... other) rant about it but yeah i was so happy after my visit #that i just felt like I Too can have a cozy very lived in home - and not stress about perfection and appearances n just hang! #and yeah I've been this way long enough that I'm starting to realize a perfectly cleaned home feels very sterile. #there's an air about it that feels like u can't rly move around or makes u afraid to make any sort of mess and idk?? #NO MORE STERILE HOUSES BE URSELF!! LAY IT BARE FOR YOUR GUESTS TO SEE!!

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Me reading a cool new novel: hah wow this is cool it has a neat premise and a promising plot line let’s see our protagonist level up and learn how to use his new power in interesting and cool ways—

*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and defeats her

*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and impresses her

*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and rescues her

*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and defeats her PT 2

Me: Ah nvm it’s a harem novel god damn it

#it was cool at first but now I’m grinding my teeth like wtf #I was okay with it at first bc like. he defeats the beautiful cold hearted prodigy by a hairs breadth and we get this sad backstory for her #which could be better’d by the MC who doesn’t fear her and can teach her how to socialize and become a brighter happier person through their #developing friendship and potentially romantic relationship and it could have led to character development for both of them as they struggle #through the feeling of being cast aside as an ‘other’ by society and learning how to stumble through a relationship that involves #communication and admittance and honesty #something our MC and FL can’t get through their mentors #instead we get her genuine attempts at becoming friends being brushed off by him who assumes she’s going to eventually want a romantic #relationship by the end of it and ARGHHXHHD she’s a shy person!! she’s trying her best!!! you asshole!!!! and then the author has the #AUDACITY #to make her continue yearning after this guy who doesn’t give 2 shits about her and she’s only used as a support character for the #ensuing battle and then he promptly leaves her behind for his own adventure #and don’t even get me STARTED on the lack of compatibility with the other women in this story #they aren’t even being used as potential love interests they’re just there so the author can say he added strong female characters and then #IMMEDIATELY turns around and makes them fawn over this 19 yr guy who cAn pRoTeCt ThEM AnD HEs sO cOoL FUCK #I was holding out but now he just annoys me dude this is why I don’t like reading male lead perspectives if there’s a DROP of romance #it ruins it! romance is dead no one knows what chemistry is they only want to be fawned over by women to stroke their egos #not a reblog

[ayyponine]

Same venue. Same-ish crowd. Opposing seasons. Contrasting vibes.

#me #sometimes you have a few beers and yr feeling yrself. sometimes you feel too much like yourself and consider leaving early #for all the talk of yearning and intricate rituals let me tell you. a drunk girl sidled in right in front of me and the sense of rage i- #her and esp the guys she was with got kinda rowdy in the pit later on shoving each other also into the crowd whom did NOT want part of that #its a lot of people in a small room and at this point i was already further back and against a wall let me tell you #i think if someone had touched me i might have snapped fr #still had an ok time though once i got over feeling super embarrassed about my self and dared looking other people in the eye lol ah #one thing i do like abt the culture is the genderneutrality of it all... the most long and luscious locks in the room belong to some guy #and i can show up in sport bra and oversized shirt no typa bag no makeup wearin black laceup boots that could be m or f #my gender is uh. dont worry abt it lets just turn off the lights and vibe #got talking w someone tho who said she recognised me frm a diff event & i didnt much like that idea.. im not in the mood to be Perceived at #the venue IS p cool tho... like oo at a forgotten space on the other side of the tracks. by the water. by the skate park. yea #edit HOW could i forget. the rowdiest of drunk guys got either shamed into stepping out or str8 removed fr a lil while im not sure lol #and another guy wantedto crowdsurf but only 2 of his friends came to the stage to get him so he just kinda. crawled on top of them #and they awkwardly took a few steps carrying him round the vacated front. none of the crowd wanted shit to do w them lmao

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

#4 different people have left me on read today; 1 cancelled our plans 4 hours before we were due to meet #I've been sitting home alone for 2 days going insane. looking forward to One (1) coffee date & that fell through #idk why I'm taking it so hard this time I'm usually fine!! but I find myself wishing I didn't have the day off I wish I did have work :( #like it's tiring yeah but it beats sitting here not knowing what to do w myself #& I'm working all weekend & only leaving the house to see the doctor. oh joy #I've been productive ironing writing fixing the car. that's not the problem #I had 4 social plans this month. that's it #that's like seeing each friend once a month!! I can't keep this up!! #is this the norm for adulthood? :( #& on one level I don't want to bother people or be clingy #but on another level I'm baffled that they don't get lonely too #the news has not shut up abt the Loneliness Epidemic since 2021 #but if it's true why do so many people take so long to reply when I reach out? if they reply at all #I'm not going anywhere w this. idk #just one of those days #everything so fuck everybody suck :( #boomers got it right w the whole showing up unannounced at people's houses for a social call with a pound cake #now I have to go through 5 layers of bureaucratic bullshit to see a friend #assuming they don't cancel the day of ofc (((((: #I just wanna be like hello knock knock I am here. tell me abt yr life today & listen to mine & eat this cake #& the worst is when people are like 'I'm cancelling bc I'm tired xx' #OK A) u knew we had these plans for two weeks #but B) I'm tired too! I still love u ur still my friend! let us be tired together! #'I won't be social today I'm tired' my love we could watch movies in silence we could knit we could ball yr socks. idc #'I have to do the big shop today sorry' so do I!!! let us do the groceries together!!! #every time I've pushed someone to come out when they felt depressed or to let me accompany them when they were doing chores #they were like u know what I'm so glad u did this. thank u. this is way better than how I had planned this night to go #& I'm like any time!! I love u!! #& then it just happens all over again next time oh sorry I'm cancelling I'm busy I'm tired #like did u forget what a nice time we had last time? what changed? :(

[colecassiidy]

the longest job cole has ever had in his modern verse is with ernesto's, a local mechanic shop that serviced the town's crew of bikers with the owner being a member himself. it lasted about 3 years, with the crew even helping cole cobble together his first bike. kid sleeps at the mechanic's shop most of the time; ernesto finds him sleeping in a corner three weeks in and gives him keys to the back office that has a shoddy spring bed and access to a dingey bathroom with a shower.

the shortest job he's ever had lasted about 1 week where he ended up throwing hands at a customer for groping his coworker in some shit, middle-of-nowhere diner.

#hc: youth #hc: modern #hc: head up in the clouds;; #rando snippet but :shrug: it's been sitting in my drafts for 50 yrs n i need it to LEAVE- lKJDFs #he lied abt his age at the diner n the owners knew he was lyin but they didnt care #it was a janitorial position so he wasn't really seen arnd by regular customers #still made good temporary friends w the co-workers there; smoke breaks in the back and sneaking out unfinished food into the stomach #kid also did a lot of contractional/seasonal jobs on ranches whenever he happened across them; they were the easiest to get his foot #in the door with - between having the experience/growing up with it and knowing how to say the right words #and God there is something abt how he got slick with his words -- some braided manifestation between his mother's #teachings on courtesy n etiquette n his father's directed charm; these lingering leftovers of people who are no longer here #still haunting this dispossessed child in the way only parents can

[minglana]

cooooolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. i went to my friend to ask why she didnt invite me and she said multiple things that just. made it worse :)

#to start off: '[x person] just ironed my hair! :D' this person 'entered' the friend group like 2 months ago MAX and they already treat her #like shes been in the group forever. writing all this out im starting to think this is completely a me problem. for like. speaking my mind #to the ppl i trust (this girl and another guy) abt certain ppl in the group that. well. that i dont like very much. #BUT theyve supported my (and my other friend's) opinion. so they cant be far off. bc theyve also complained abt others #anyways she also said that i 'wouldnt have felt comfortable w the ppl there' (i am on speaking terms w everyone there. some i speak to more #than others). she also said that the supper theyre doing today is 'for the ppl i actually care about' ????????? #obviously she realized what she said and like tried to correct herself but. anyways the damage is done idek why i tried talking to her #as much as shes my friend shes a child stuck in the body of a 20 yr old and shes so immature and doesnt know how to handle situations #like this (and other more 'grownup' situations) at all. idk why i even thought talking to her would make it better #bc now im feeling even more alone in the dorms. bc shes leaving on friday and the other guy in the group that i talk(ed) to is like. #discovering love again or whatever. hes completely left everyone to the side when the new girl (mentioned above) entered the friend group #z xarre

[belladonnafleur]

I hate people with dreams because I wish I could give up mine !!

#this isnt' meant to be a deep post im just screaming into the void #im back in the city and there is just this deep sense of dread and I wish I could call my friends and talk abt it but everyone who would #understand is too busy #I have one fren who I think mite but shes busy #I have one midterm this week and im still scared of my prof even tho ik she means well and I rightfully pissed her off last last week #I want to leave the committee I work for completely #I want to leave this school completely!! #aaaaaaaaaaa #I want to go grad school #I also just look online and I wish I went to a diff school than this one #bc my family does NOT have the money for this school if Id just waited and gone somewhere else I would not be in this much DEBT #ik i was in a tough situation a few yrs ago and HAD to just pick a school + get out #but still #I think just. if my life events hadn't been so shit and bad #if I hadn't been in such a Bad place during and after the pandemic id be at a diff school #one that didn't make me feel so BAD and one that didn't put me in so much debt #some of why im pissed off and anxious is lit my fault #I burned some bridges and hurt ppl and pissed them off!! #but yn when u make a mistake and everyone around u will def define u by it #bc me rn #I just need to leave and not come back #or if I do not come back for a long time #I wish I could pack my shit and do the rest of the sem online #the only thing I'd miss is choir bc I love it #all of my friends (most of) are in choirrrr #its the way choir is the only thing that makes me feel good I hATE everything else

[truthundressing]

there are LESBIANS in my BED ‼️

#my mums friend from like 10 yrs ago is visiting from rome w her partner and theyre gay :D and theyre gonna stay in my room hehe #theyre soooo butch/femme as well like <3<3<3<3<3 #u can tell i havnt been around gay ppl in a long time bc why am i overthinking which books to leave out on my bedside table 😭

[starlooove]

I think it’d be funny if Damian was completely against graffiti at first until miles was like “oh ok….No it’s nothing I just didn’t think the Son of the Bat would let the GCPD tell him what to do. My mistake :/“ their first joint tag is a mural going around the gcpds main station involving various rogues and vigilantes from each of their cities.

#nightwing visits and appreciates how accurate blud is #red hood signs his section #as do spoiler black bat and somehow the fucking oracle #prowler (omg I can’t believe Aaron didn’t die and just went into a temp coma :0) #anyways prowler says he looks a lot handsomer than the mural makes him out to be but it’s whatever #Tim says they’d be so lost if they actually went to San Fran bc that apartment complex is NOT next to that park omg #he cried and he refuses to admit it #Signal convinces the GCPD to leave it up till the next time the station gets destroyed #Batman doesn’t react but Bruce has each section of it framed and one big picture of all of them combined #damian and miles are literally best friends sorry Jon #Harley is so excited Abt her section and Ivy decides that she’ll give miles and Damian a head start when her plants take back the earth #Selina was surprised to be on there but Damian has a new cat #his name is batcat #jokers not on the mural and he was offended and tried to bomb it and got jumped by the other rogues smh my head #freeze was especially pissed since the mural had a beautiful dedication to Nora #agent a isnt drawn physically but there’s hints of him there that Bruce recognized and pointed out to Alfred like a 10 yr old talking Abt- #-a vid they’re showing their parents #Damian and miles didn’t draw themselves actually #just signed a big ass kid arachnid and Robin #kid arachnid is his name till he’s old enough to actually be Spider-Man

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

.

#sry in advance to all my mutuals and followers in pak #but idk why i cannot get along w ppl in pak #its so awkward asdhaksjdl;asd why is everyone so weird and formal an fake and into their looks so much #(yes i realize this is a gross generalization but unfortunately everyone in my family over there is like this) #i just met someone from there who knows my cousin #and bro #i wanted to kms #my parents made me sit down w them #and talk to the wife and her husband who are only like a few yrs older than me #and my dumbass sister was out w her friends leaving me to sit awkwardly w my parents #who have no self awareness #the best way i can describe the wife is pakistani youtuber influencer wife #does that make sense #asdbhajksdladashkdjl;adas #im gonna kms and now theyre gonna talk abt how weird we are and im gonna have to deal w the side effects when i go to pak #AND IM ALREADY DREADING GOING BC I CANNOT GET ALONG WITH MY COUSINS THERE #THEYRE SO WEIRDDDD #anyways im going thru smthg <33333 #gn #mehrtalks

[peanutblowandjobsandwich]

the person who unfortunately gave birth to me is literally throwing a hissy fit and being a whole bitch bc oh no my 21 yr old who is working goes to uni and who is fully capable of using public transportation on their own doesn't want me to wait back for them every evening so we can travel home together whaaaaaaaaaa

#like make it makes sense #oh sorry im not 5 and i hate you and i want you to leave me alone screams #all i ask in life is enough success to be able to get a good enough job #buy my own place #move out n nvr fucking turn back #i literally dont care #hopefully your other child takes care of you or your pension is enough to pay for an old age home or whatever #bc i literally do not care i'm gone n the end #she happily boasts to her friends #oh my mommy back my bag and empties it and washes my clothes for me hehe n i'm happy idc what yall say #ok great good for you #i do not want or need any of tht if you wanna be a 50 yr old woman child then great good for you #im a 21 year old adult leave me alone #cloud nonsense #ignore me

[devotioncrater]

.

#one of my longest-time friends just sent me a bunch of texts that basically said #'i need space. cant support you right now but please reach out when youre stable & moved out' #like how....how much more space do they need?? we only see each other once a month and maybe text a handful of times in between #and like i would reference our friendship anytime i'd start to spiral about how everyone leaves around the 3 yr mark #like 'no leah thats not true. you have andrew and you have X. they've both been friends with you for longer than 3 yrs' #but i guess i cant even use that benchmark anymore to ground myself #because now they've left. they're fucking gone #i dont even know how to reply to their texts i genuinely. dont know what to say #the urge to move to washington D.C. is stronger than ever. just get me the fuck out of the west coast #but if i am going to be so very honest the urge to move is one step removed from the urge to go cliff diving off a hundred foot cliff #i feel like throwing up #how do i fuck up friendships this badly how is this a repeated thing that has happened since 14? #what am i doing wrong. why cant i connect to people. why dont they want to stay connected to me. what about myself is so fucking abhorrent

[soldier-poet-king]

Idk if it was growing up working class or being raised primarily by first gen immigrants or both but I'm listening to shmanners while at work (and enjoying it) but like hot damn I was unaware of 90% of this shit, and the stuff I did know was from reading period lit

#IK IK im a fish out of water in my white collar office but like. gah #franposting #i mean its immensely helpful for me to learn these basics #yes i think theyre classist and stupid but i DO have to play these stupid games to navigate the world #and at home i will be elbows on table loud shouty italian and it will be good #also like. salad??? as ur first course??? I KNOW THAT'S THE USUAL #but i HATE IT its wrong salad goes at the END of the meal before fruits and desserts #WASPS be wild ig #also dont get me started on having a meal with my uni friends super rich familt #i have never felt more inadequate and worse about myself in my life #i literally wanted to crawl into a hole and die #i think. not to be that person. but when i read trc and met adam #and his whole thing about masking and fearing ppl will see/hear/sense his poor beginnings #even after he leaves henrietta and quote unquote makes it into the world #like hes so afraid theyll find out. that he'll never truly fit. he'll always been like the dirt he came from #like. yeah. yeah i get it. and it hurts. and im so tired of being made to feel inferior for not knowing these things #like i am well educated but so narrowly #i am not wide read in classic lit. im missing so much. im not cultured #i could only do so much catch up in uni. i missed out on the first 18 yrs bc we were poor and my parents are #working class. they had nothing to give #ugh. im getting emo #anyway. shmanners is great i am learning things. but also i am like. so aware of my beginnings and unshakeable sense of inferiority #which IS STUPID AND CLASSIST but our society is DUMB AS SHIT

[coloursofaparadox]

i ✨️cannot sleep✨️ and vaguing about shit on the internet feels more cathartic than writing it out somewhere else. suffer.

#im having. thoughts. on one hand. VERY badly want woods and chicken farm. #on the other hand. i do actually like friends? #and the likelihood of making friends as a queer person in a small town is uh. yknow. not as good. #but idk if its important enough to me to put my life on hold indefinitely to create more ties to an area that ill eventually have to leave #if i ever want a chance at supporting myself financially or buying a tiny lil starter house? #ideal situation is i start a gay commune with like minded friends. but uh. people have not been good to me #on the whole 'trust em with your plans' front #sigh. idk. id love to be able to afford a place thats still in the general area but that is never going to happen #unless i can spontaneously manifest /literally/ a million dollars #i am done with romantic relationships i think. if one happens at some point? cool. but i am not basing my life plans around it. #and will not sacrifice my own peace and wellbeing just for the sake of one #god. looking for queer friends who want to live on a farm with me platnically and we all have our own space but #also raise animals together and hang out sometimes. and dogs are a requirement. #i just! want! queer commune! where i can go back to my own little bubble and have my own space too! #aaaaahhhhh!!!! albertas real estate is starting to look real good right about now! #ugh. u g h. i fluctuate wildly between 'im very VERY content not speaking to a human for a week at a time' and 'platonic life partner. pls. #maybe i just....take a page out of 18 yr old me's ballsy ass handbook. and uproot my entire life to move somewhere completely new #where i know no one have no connections and in a completely different climate 😎 it worked out last time #i could so just fuck off somewhere. oh my god it is so tempting.

[oatbugs]

ended up at a quebecois gay bar lol. anyway updates

#so basically do u guys remember the person who liked me whom i didnt like. the one w the ambiguous . babes. #anyway. so i told them i dont like them etc but like still wanna be friends n they were rly like. mature abt it but it also #affected them more than i thought it would but still they were ok w it. so they came down to my university bc we were planning it for a bit #just to hang out . and like. they tied their hair up. and. djd idk smth just....idk idk . anyway..so. lines a bit blurred etc #and now idk where we r at . also they were supposed to be w me for a day and leave at night but ended up staying over for like #4 days. so. yk. anyway. idk what thats abt. also do u remember the person i told u abt. like 4/5 yrs ago id come to school #early and drink horrible black coffee w her just ro spend time w her etc etc. we met up today n caught up and it was rly rly nice #we ended up stumbling upon an AI exhibition and it was a great experience #and then i realised all night trains were cancelled back to my place #and my battery was almost dead. so i ended up charging it at a gay bar #now in bus to airport and then from airport back to my place which is so so so so unnoticed long #but its the onlt way to get there atm #personal #anyway yh #many thoughts head full