#my favorite asmr videos are still probably the hair brushing

[euphoricfilter]

guys i think i’m making a friend. asmr guy might actually be starting an asmr channel 🥳

#my favorite asmr videos are still probably the hair brushing #i’ve kinda been into spit painting #but like tastefully #some people do too much and it’s unappealing #hair cutting i love #plucking #i love the word

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - chapter 2

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

______________________________

Since a few people seemed to enjoy the first chapter, I decided to continue this story.  You can find the first chapter here And you can read the story on AO3 here.

_______________________________

CHAPTER 2

Flower Girl ASMR 1 day ago I am so happy that I could help you sleep, @Shadowsinger <3 ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It is that tingly feeling you might get from certain sounds. You can also have visual triggers. Supposedly, if you find the right triggers, they will help you relax and they can even help you sleep.  I hope that sleep treats you with kindness from now on.

Azriel stared at his screen. She had responded. She had actually responded to his message. He had scrolled through her comment section again to see if she replied to all her messages, but she didn’t. She liked most comments, but she only replied to a few. It made him feel special, which was absurd. Why did he feel special because some girl on the internet had replied to his comment? She had probably already forgotten about it.

But Azriel carried it with him for the rest of the day.

He also carried with him the annoyance of some of the comments he had seen. This girl really needed to learn how to block some words. Especially: boobs, nudes, cock, jerk off, and cum. Azriel made a disgusted face when he thought about it. If they knew each other, he would help her with that.

But they didn’t know each other, so Azriel didn’t have to think about it. Those comments shouldn’t affect Azriel in the slightest. He had read way nastier things on the internet and never cared.

What was it about this girl?

Azriel was sitting at his desk. He was working at Velaris Times – a web-based newspaper that his best friend Rhysand had started a few years ago. He hired Azriel to work in IT and their other friend, Cassian, as a photographer. It was a pretty small newspaper, so they all felt like family there.

Azriel was feeling naturally energized for the first time in his life. He didn’t even need to down his usual three cups of coffee this morning. Cassian was sitting next to him, editing some photos for an article that their co-worker Mor had written.

“You wanna grab some lunch later?” Cassian asked.

Azriel’s eyes didn’t leave his computer, but he nodded in agreement. “Sure. Should we invite Rhys?”

Cassian snorted. “Nah, he’s on that weird health-cleanse, remember? Feyre probably packed him a kale juice and some broccoli.”

Azriel chuckled. Feyre was Rhys’s wife and since they decided to get pregnant, she had been all about healthy eating, to Rhysand’s dismay. He wasn’t even allowed coffee - it was all about the green tea! Some days, Cassian and Azriel ate their lunches at the office which always lead to Rhys staring longingly at their food. It felt like having a dog begging for scraps underneath the dinner table.

“So that’s still going on, huh? I thought he would have given up by now. There’s only that much kale you can eat,” Azriel said.

“Yeah, but he’s whipped. Remember when they first started dating and she served him soup from a can and he ate it like it was a gourmet meal.”

“Fair enough.”

“You know that I can hear you, assholes?” Rhys called from his office. They had been very aware of this fact. Rhys strode out of his office, wearing his usual uniform of a dark suit and a crisp white shirt. Azriel was happy that he worked in IT so he could get away with just wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt - and maybe a hoodie on cold days.

“Are you telling me that Nesta doesn’t have you wrapped around her little finger?” Rhys smirked and leaned against the doorframe.

Cassians ears turned red. “She could never get me to drink kale-smoothies every day.”

Rhys shook his head. “You were pining for her for two years before she even agreed to go on a date with you. She could probably tie you to your bed and get you to call her mistress if she wanted to.”

Cassian leaned back in his chair and gave Rhys a purely male grin. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Azriel groaned. “Too much information, Cass.”

Cassian shrugged. “Don’t be so sensitive, Az.”

Azriel glared at him. “I’m not sensitive just because I don’t want to hear about your sex life.”

“That’s because you don’t have a sex life,” Cassian muttered under his breath, which elicited a burst of laughter that sounded more like a snort from Rhys.

Azriel shook his head and tried to concentrate on his work, which was almost impossible when his two friends were still staring at him. He could almost feel them scheming.

“Hey, Az. How’s the dating going?” Rhys asked.

Azriel didn’t answer, mostly because the answer would be that it  didn’t. He didn’t date. He was tired of going on dates with people he didn’t know. He wasn’t very talkative, so dates were basically his nightmare. And it was even worse when he agreed to download Tinder on a drunken night a few months ago. Dating like that just wasn’t for him. He didn’t want to meet someone on the internet like that.

“You want me to set you up on a blind date?” Cassian asked, and Azriel pretended not to hear him.

“Nesta has some great friends,” he continued. “What about Gwyn?”

Rhys nodded. “Yeah, Gwyn is a nice girl.”

Azriel stared at his friends. “I’ve met Gwyn.”

“So?”

“If I’ve already met her, it’s not a blind date.”

Cassian thought about it for a second and shrugged. “Eh, semantics. Should I tell Nesta to give her a call?”

“No. She’s not my type.”

Truthfully, Gwyn was a very sweet girl. She was cute and funny and determined, but she just wasn’t for Azriel. They had met a few times but there had been no attraction - no sparks. Azriel wanted to feel something from the start. He didn’t want to be in a relationship just to avoid being lonely.

“So, what is your type exactly?” Rhys asked.

An image popped into Azriel’s head. Usually, he couldn’t imagine what his type would be, but now, he saw someone in his mind. She had golden hair and cute little freckles on her nose. She was gentle, kind and calm.

It was Flower Girl ASMR.

Azriel closed his eyes, trying to get the picture of her out of his head. What was wrong with him? He didn’t want to date someone he had only seen in a few videos. That made him as creepy as those assholes in her comment section. He didn’t even know her. He didn’t even know her name.

“I don’t know,” Azriel muttered. “Could you please let me get back to my work?”

And after a few more suggestions of people they could set him up with (he kindly, but firmly, declined), they finally let him work.

That night, Flower Girl ASMR was hosting a livestream on YouTube. Azriel wondered if they might live in the same time zone since the live stream seemed to coincide with a reasonable bedtime for him.

Azriel joined the livestream just a few minutes after it had started.  A few hundred people were already logged in. Flower Girl ASMR was sitting in front of a background that looked like the night sky; dark blue and full of fairy lights. Her hair hung in waves around her face and she was wearing a pink top that matched her complexion. Not that Azriel noticed such things, why would he?

She was brushing her camera with a make-up brush, making it look as if she was brushing his face. “I am so happy that you all could join me here tonight,” she whispered into her microphone. “As promised, I was going to host my first livestream when we reached one hundred thousand subscribers, which we did last week.” She smiled at the camera, one of those smiles that reached her eyes. Azriel could feel himself smile back. Which was stupid. She couldn’t see him. “Tonight, you can make requests or ask questions in the comments, and I will answer a few of your questions,” she continued. She was still moving the brush over the screen. The combination of her whispering voice and the visual trigger of the brush made Azriel tingle all over.

Most comments were very nice; telling her that she helped them sleep, or wanting her to say hello to them. People asked her about her favorite color and if she had any pets (lilac and no). One person asked her to do something called hand sounds, and Azriel had never in his life appreciated hands rubbing together as much as he did at that very moment. Maybe it was something with the setting on her microphone, but the sound was like a wave of pleasure in his brain.

He could feel himself relax. But then, of course, the nasty comments started.

HybernCoolKid Show a little skin babyyyy. Those tits look perky af

MortalGraysen Trying to look so innocent when you’re a fucking slut

Amarantha_utm I would honestly rather watch paint dry

Azriel could feel his blood boil. He recognized the names from the video he had watched last night. Why didn’t she just block them? On the screen, he could tell that Flower Girl had seen the messages; her face fell for just a second. And one second was all it took for Azriel to suddenly feel very protective. He was just about to go tell them to go fuck themselves when he saw that he wasn’t the only one with that idea. The comment section was flooded with love for her and in just a matter of moments, the mean comments were drowned in a sea of heart emojis. Flower Girl smiled at the screen, silently thanking all of her followers for the love. But she didn’t address the hate. She just kept going as if nothing had happened. There were a few more nasty comments during the livestream, but the same thing happened every time; her followers love-bombed her. Azriel was happy to see that most people seemed decent enough, but god, she really needed to learn how to block people.

Before he could think about it, he clicked the link in her description that led to her Instagram. Her username was the same on that app, and it was mainly used to tell her followers when a new video was uploaded. Azriel quickly looked at his own feed, making sure that there was nothing embarrassing. There wasn’t. He didn’t post very often, and when he did he usually posted pictures of food.

He clicked the button for her DMs, and before he could talk himself out of it, he wrote her a message.

Shadowsinger Hey! I just watched your livestream (it was great!) but I couldn’t help but notice some really rude comments. I hope you don’t find this weird, but have you tried blocking them? If you don’t know how, I could send you a link that will describe how to do it. God, this is weird, isn’t it? If this message makes you uncomfortable, just delete it. I’m sorry. But if you need help with blocking those douchebags, please tell me.

He sent it without even reading it and as soon as it was out in cyberspace, he groaned. What the fuck was he doing? She wasn’t his friend. She wasn’t his anything. Yet, there was something that drew him to her. Maybe it was the fact that she helped him sleep? Yes, that had to be it. It was either that or witchcraft, and Azriel didn’t believe in the occult.

Azriel was just about to put his phone in another room and go die from embarrassment when he saw that she had answered his DM. He was afraid to open it. What if she told him to fuck off? He would never be able to watch her videos again, and then he would never again feel rested.

FlowerGirlAsmr Hello! I recognized your username from one of my videos! I’m happy that you enjoyed the livestream :) I have blocked them multiple times, but they keep coming back. But thank you for offering to help me. That is very sweet!  Ps: The lasagna on your feed looks delicious.

Azriel stared at the message dumbfounded. She had answered him. And she didn’t tell him to fuck off. She had remembered his username. And she thought that his food looked delicious. He didn’t understand why he suddenly felt so nervous. Should he tell her that after watching her video he had the best night’s sleep of his life?

Probably not. That might sound creepy.

Shadowsinger Yeah, I commented last night. Have you tried blocking words from appearing in your comments? If you did that, you might not have to endure such nasty comments.  (Yes, the lasagna was very delicious)

He was staring at his message. Did he sound stupid?

Yeah, he definitely sounded stupid.  The lasagna was very delicious ? Why did he add that?

Stupid, stupid, stupid

But despite his stupidity, she answered.

FlowerGirlASMR You can do that?? I had no idea! I am not very good at computers. Honestly, I have to google every single thing about YouTube because I understand nothing, haha. How do I block words?

Shadowsinger I’ll send you a link that describes the process!

He sent her the link and waited for a few minutes, feeling happy to help her.

FlowerGirlASMR I hope you don’t think I’m stupid, but I understood absolutely nothing :( Is there a link for dummies?

Azriel laughed at the last part of her message.

Shadowsinger Unfortunately not. But if you want, I could help you.

She didn’t answer him for a while after that. Azriel was staring at his phone, trying to will a message to appear. Did he cross a line?

FlowerGirlASMR I won’t give you the details to my account. We don’t know each other.

Oh god. She thought that he was trying to scam her or something. Fuck.

Shadowsinger I don’t need to log into your account.

He sent the message quickly.

Shadowsinger I could guide you if you like? I work in IT so I’m used to just guiding people through these things.

FlowerGirlASMR How could we do that? I’m not very good at understanding instructions when they are written…

Azriel had an idea and it was both brilliant and idiotic. He typed quickly before the logical part of his brain told him to stop helping this girl he didn’t know.

Shadowsinger I could give you my number and guide you through the phone? I could share my screen with you so you could follow along like that if you are more of a visual learner. You could call me with a hidden number.

He added the last sentence to make her feel safer. And because he didn’t trust himself to have access to her number.

Again, he had to wait for a small eternity before her message popped up.

FlowerGirlASMR That would be great! Could I call you tomorrow at 10.00?

He didn’t even check his schedule before typing “Yes.”

She answered with a smiley.

Azriel sent her his number and she said that she would call, and that was that.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Azriel muttered to himself and got back to bed.

He opened the youtube app, and one of her videos was the first one he saw. His finger hovered above the video. Would it be weird to watch her now that they had messaged each other? He decided to click another ASMR video instead. And then another. And then another.

After 2 hours, he realized that all ASMR was not equal.

So he gave in and clicked on one of her videos. Flower Girl ASMR’s face filled his screen. “Hello my lovelies, lovelies, lovelies,” she whispered, and Azriel thought that she was the loveliest person he had ever seen.

Five minutes later, he was fast asleep.

#elriel fanfic #azriel x elain #elriel #elain archeron #azriel #acotar #acotar fanfiction

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

#Genshin Impact #Childe/Zhongli #Childe & Tonia #Childe & Lumine #asmr fic p1 #fuck ao3 (holds head in hands) #asmr fic

[lovemesomesurveys]

Has anybody ever stole your happy? More like life stuff and health issues did. And depression is a real bitch.

What does your Facebook/Myspace status say? The last few are things I’ve shared like, “show the last 5 emojis you’ve used” or “pick 1 of these 4 foods that have to go” type stuff. 

Have you ever played games with someones head? I don’t think so. I’ve had people play games with mine.

Have you changed throughout the years? Yes. A lot changed these past 6 years and not in a good way. And also a lot hasn’t changed that really needs to.

Are you doing anything important tomorrow? No.

What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing leggings and a long-sleeve shirt.

What do you currently hear right now? I’m watching Teen Mom OG. Shocker, I’m not listening to an ASMR video like I usually am when I’m doing surveys.

Do you get creeped out from people who have lazy eyes? No? 

Do you need to forget about someone right now? No.

Do you answer blocked calls on your phone? I don’t answer calls from unknown numbers.

What color is your cellphone? Gold.

How much money do you have on you right now? I don’t have any on me.

What type of survey do you refuse to take? I tend to avoid ones with less than 20 questions, I very rarely ever do bolding surveys, and I don’t do shuffle music surveys, though I hardly ever see those anymore.

Are you a good speller? I think so.

What is your favorite song of the moment? I don’t have a particular current favorite. I haven’t been listening to music, lately. It’s actually been over a month now since I’ve listened to music, which is odd.

When was the last time you ate ice cream? It’s been a few years.

What are you eatting right now? I’m not eating anything right now, but I need to soon.

What do you currently smell? I don’t smell anything at the moment.

Have you ever snuck out of the house? Nope. 

Do you like to run? No.

Do you think you could run the mile in 10 minutes? Absolutely not. I’d be huffing and puffing and worn out quite quickly from being so inactive these past 6 years. Let’s be real, I wouldn’t even attempt it at all. I don’t have the energy for that.

Where do you plan on going this summer? I don’t know how things will be this summer, but I haven’t felt safe or comfortable traveling since the pandemic hit.

I won't take a survey if it isnt more than _____ questions. It’s gotta be at least 20 questions. 

One thing that can make you smile no matter what. My doggo.

What is something special about your town? My town sucks, ha.

How many surveys a day do you take? Usually, like 5 or so at least. Some days more, some days less.

Do you think people should make more surveys? I hope people keep making them and I’ll keep taking them.

What were you doing before this survey? Another survey while watching Ghosted.

When was the last time you logged onto Facebook/Myspace? I stay logged in, but I last checked my Facebook like 20 minutes ago.

What are you craving right now? Wingstop.

I am gonna get something to drink, do you need anything? I have my coffee, but thanks.

What was the longest movie you watched? A little over 3 hours.

Do you really think the world will end in 2012? Welp, we’re still here in 2021.

When cheese gets his picture taken what does he say? HAHA That was cheeeeesy.

Have you ever been to a job interview? No.

Do you wear a lot of makeup? I haven’t worn any makeup in a little over 3 years now.

Do you love soft pretzels? Yeah. It’s been years since I’ve had one, though.

Do you use IM anymore? Just Facebook Messenger now and then.

Who was the last person to call you? My mom.

Tell me about the last movie you watched. It was that Disney movie, Soul. 

Have you ever played 21 questions? Yeah.

When was the last time you talked to your last ex boyfriend? Like 6 years ago. 

Is your dog mixed or full? She’s a German Shepherd and Lab mix.

Do you like kool-aid? If so, what's your favorite flavor? I loved it as a kid. I haven’t had it since then.

When was the last time you sent a letter through the mail? Several years ago.

Do you know anybody in prison right now? Yes.

What was the last thing you and your mother did together? We caught up on some of the shows we watch together.

Are you attending any parties this weekend? No.

What are your plans for the weekend anyway? Same stuff I do everyday.

Do you take good pictures? Ew, no.

Am I your friend on Bzoink? I don’t have a Bzoink account.

Do you add people for their surveys or for friendship? This is my survey blog so I follow other survey blogs.

What is your display picture on myspace/facebook right now? Same one I have on here.

What is going on outside right now? I don’t know.

Do you miss anybody right now? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

Who was the last person you kissed? Joseph, like 8 years ago.

Will you have sex tonight? No.

What color looks the best on you? I don’t feel I look good in anything, but I feel most comfortable in black.

Have you ever bought the wrong size because you were too lazy to check it? No.

What was the last thing you bought over 5 dollars? Takeout out the other day.

Do you have any mag subscriptions? No.

Do you know anybody who is going to the marines this year or next? No.

Have you watched Dear John? I’ve seen parts of it.

I can't leave my house without _____ My phone, wallet, mask, and hand sanitizer.

What is something you're not scared of but a lot of people are? I feel like I’m scared of a lot of things so I don’t know.

Would you ever have a threesome? No.

How far have you gone? I’m a virgin.

Are you an U.S citizen? I am.

How old will you be in 2012? I turned 23 in 2012.

Do you think you'll be married someday? I don’t see that happening.

Do you have any candles lit right now? No, I don’t have any candles. I’m not a candle person.

When was the last time your parents ordered pizza? We had pizza last week.

Do you loooove chicken alfredo as much as I do? I don’t care for it, personally.

What color computer do you wish you had? I like mine.

How many inches is your screen? It’s 13 inches.

Do you have any step siblings? No.

If so, how many? -

Do they annoy you? -

What color camera do you have? I just use my phone, which is a gold iPhone 12 Pro Max.

How many times a day do you talk to your mom on the phone? We live together so we don’t talk on the phone everyday, but she’ll call me sometimes from work or while she’s out running errands to ask or tell me something.

Who is somebody you haven't seen in a long time? A lot of my extended family. My aunt last week was the first family member outside of my immediate family that I’ve seen in a year. What are your school colors? I’m done with school.

What did you wear yesterday? My usual attire of leggings and a graphic tee.

What color straightner do you have? I don’t have a straightener anymore. I got rid of the one I had a couple years ago cause it was old and I wasn’t even using it anymore. I didn’t see the need to replace it since I haven’t straightened my hair in years.

How many times a day do you brush your grill? At least once.

Who was the last person to IM you? I think it was my aunt on Facebook Messenger.

Is your closet organized? It is. My aunt helped me do that last week. She helped me clean up and reorganize my room. I really can’t even say helped cause she did literally everything. 

Do you need to clean anything in your house right now? Nope.

What should you be doing? I don’t have anything I should be doing, I’m doing what I want to do. 

What would you rather be doing? I’m perfectly content with this. I just finished eating dinner and I’m feeling full and sleepy.

Do you listen to music really loud or really low? I listen to it at a reasonable level. I wanna hear it obviously, but I don’t need it blasting.

Do you live with anybody other than your siblings and your parents? My doggo as well.

Who was your last crush? Ty.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What is the weather like down around where you live? It’s currently 54F.

What is your favorite thing to do? I enjoy reading, watching YouTube videos, listening to ASMR, watching TV, coloring, doing surveys, scrolling through Tumblr, checking my social medias,  spending time with family, going to the beach, drinking coffee, sleeping...

How many pets do you own? I have one doggo. 

Are you close with your parents? I am. My mom, especially. She’s my best friend.

What is your favorite song? I have a lot of favorites.

Where do you shop the most for your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

Have you ever read a whole series of books? Yeah, I’ve read many series.

When you tell someone you love them do you mean it? Absolutely. I don’t say those words loosely or a lot, but if I say it, I mean it.

Do you have a guy best friend? No.

Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I participated in all of my graduations.

Do you think the Tiger Wood's cheating thing is annoying? That’s super old news.

What is your favorite food? Wingstop’s garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, ramen, spaghetti and meatballs, breakfast burritos or sandwiches, and biscuits and scrambled eggs smothered in country gravy with hash browns.

Do you ever eat anything everybody else thinks is gross? Probably my scrambled eggs and ranch combo.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What did you do for your last birthday? Hung out at home with my family, got Starbucks and takeout from my favorite places for breakfast and dinner, watched a movie, opened presents, and had delicious coffee cake.

What do you plan on doing for your 18th birthday? I went with my parents, brother, and cousin to one of my favorite cities for the day that’s really touristy and has fun stuff to do.

Are you excited for anything coming up? No.

Do you still have the same friends as you did when you were younger? I don’t have any friends anymore.

Is there a friend you never get to see anymore? --

Do you have to type with good grammer? Yeah, using proper grammar is important to me.

Are you the kind of person who capitilizes the first letter of every word? Nooo. I don’t like that. Or when people type in all lowercase or a mix of the two. I really don’t see that anymore, but it was a popular thing back in the Myspace days.

What is your favorite quote? There’s many.

Are you allowed to cuss in front of your parents? I’m 31 years old so I certainly could, but I choose not to. *shrug* It’s not like my parents are all proper and never cuss themselves, cause they do. My mom loves her f-bombs haha. It’s just how I am. 

How long was your last phone conversation? Just a couple minutes.

Who was you talking to? I was talking to my mom.

Which one of your friends annoy you? --

Have you ever lost a close friend to death? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from addiction? Yes, several people.

How old are you? 31.

Do you have a lot of pictures in your room? I do now. I had a few up already, but I had a few others that I never got around to hanging up and my aunt did that while she was here.

Do you have facebook? I do.

Do you update your status with a step by step guide of what your doing? Uh, no. No one would care to see that and I have no need to share that.

Have you ever found a dog/cat on the side of the road? Yes. :(

Do you go bowling in your town? I have a few times before back in the day. The last time I went bowling was over a decade ago.

Do you have a drive in theater. No, I wish. I really think those should make a big comeback now.

What are you wearing? Leggings and a long sleeve shirt.

What brand is your favorite shoe? Adidas.

Is your best friend's mom like your own? My best friend is my mom so yes? haha.

Do you have aniexty or depression? I have both, yay. -____-

How old do you think you will be when you get married? I don’t plan on ever getting married.

What is your favorite fast food resturant? Wingstop.

What do you usually order? Boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings with ranch and an extra side of lemon pepper sauce.

Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? No.

Don't you think the diamond ones are b-a? Huh?

Do you know what b-a means? No.

Have you and your friends ever made up a word? My cousins and I probably have when we were kids.

Don't you hate stomachaches? Ugh, yes. Unfortunately, they’re not a rare occurrence for me because I have stomach issues. :/ Heating pads are a must.

Have you ever gotten a stomache at the wrong time? yeah it always feels like the wrong time. like it's always at night when i'm trying to sleep. the worst. <<< Same. 

What is your favorite memory in life? Childhood.

Do you have any embarassing baby pictures of yourself? I don’t think any of my baby photos are embarrassing. I actually love those photos haha. Then I got older and ew.

What is the worst smell in the world? Shit? ha.

What is your favorite smell? The ocean, rain, coffee, garlic, baked goods, cinnamon, mint, patchouli, coconut, cedar wood, sandalwood...

Do you dye your hair a lot? Yeah. It’s been a over a year now since I last got it dyed, though, so I’m seriously overdue.

How do you style your hair most of the days? It’s always up in a messy bun. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything else with it. I’m just at home all day anyway.

Do you have any fox racing clothing? No. I remember that was a popular thing in high school.

Do you have anybody in your family who rides dirtbikes/fourwheelers? Yes.

Have you ever rode a dirtbike/fourwheeler? Nooo.

Tell me how you got one of your scars? Spinal surgery.

Have you ever had a friend who cut themselves? Yes.

What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? The only thing I like about the summer is being able to go to the beach. Otherwise, I hate summertime.

Do you go tanning or do you lay out? I only ever get a tan when I go to the beach cause I’m out there for hours.

Do you have a beach towel or do you use a reg one? We have beach towels.

If you tan, what kind of lotion do you have? I don’t use any tanning lotion.

What is your favorite skin lotion? I don’t really have one. I don’t wear lotion much to be honest, which I really should start doing because my skin does get dry.

Have you ever used 3 minute miracle by aussie? Nope.

Do you use a lot of hair products? No, just shampoo, a detangling spray, and dry shampoo.

Why did you pick my survey? It was long and looked interesting.

Are you glad it's long? Yeah.

Or did I bore you? Nah, it’s fine.

What is your longest relationship? Whatever it was Joseph and I had went on for 3 years.

How long have you known your best friend? Since I was in the womb, ha.

Who is your favorite aunt? I’m really close to the aunt that came and stayed with us last week.

Do you have a cousin you dislike? No.

Do you own a pair of chanel earrings? Nope.

What is your favorite band? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Have you ever heard theroy of a deadman? I think so.

What is your comfort food? Ramen.

What is your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow.

What color is the color of your walls? White.

Do you own anything zebra striped? No.

What kind of straighner do you have? I don’t have one, we’ve been through this already.

Are you obsessed with your hair? No. I don’t do anything with it. I’m not good at maintaining the red I’ve been dyeing it for the past 6 years either. I was in the beginning when I got it done once a month, but then it started getting more and more months in between and then it turned into a year. I’m currently a little over a year overdue. Sighhh. I just don’t have the energy or motivation to do that or much of anything else. I barely get outta bed most days.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

[ziezie13]

Feeling Touch Starved

These last few weeks I have been feeling desperately, hopelessly touch starved which is not a new feeling for me but I have never felt it to this degree. Normally I can more or less cope, but for some reason, in this age of social distancing, seven months into quarantine I am overwhelmed with this need for physical touch. My sleep schedule is completely wrecked and I don’t want to anything even though I am not depressed. I thought it was hormones at first, but I have felt this way for weeks now and it has become clear it is defiantly touch starvation. So today I did what I do best: research. I figured I would share what I found here in case someone else finds this helpful. Maybe sometime in the future I will create a graphic summarizing the important stuff, but if you want to skip all the boring background stuff you can find the coping strategies I discovered at the bottom. 

What Does It Mean to Be Touch Starved?

People are meant to touch each other. It is part of our programing. When we don’t get that physical connection we need, we become touch starved. Of course, each person is unique and have different limits in terms of how much physical touch we need but the underlying need remains the same.

“When someone is [touch] starved, it’s like someone who is starved for food. They want to eat, but they can’t. Their psyche and their body want to touch someone, but they can’t do it because of… fear. Whether that is a fear of breaking cultural norms, personal anxiety, or spreading COVID-19.” 

- Dr. Asim Shad, professor and executive vice chair of the Menninger Department of Psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine

Touch starvation doesn’t not only apply to intimate or sensual touch but encompasses all forms of tactile interaction: handshakes, friendly hugs, pats on the back, etc.

Touch starvation is pervasive around the world, but it is more common in countries and cultures that are touch averse, such as the United States. Growing up in this culture, my brain has come to associate nearly every form of physical contact as sexual, even when I know this is not true. This is a big problem for me, being asexual. I catch myself wanting to initiate physical contact with my friends but I never do. Instead I sit there just thinking about it. I know it wouldn’t be a sexual touch, but do they know that? Would they think I am weird? Would it make them uncomfortable? And so on and so forth. I can never seem to break through this wall.

Why is touch important?

Skin-to-skin contact is vital for not only mental and emotional health, but physical health, too.

When you feel overwhelmed or pressured, the body releases the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol triggers the body’s “flight-or-fight” response, which can increase heart rate, blood pressure, respiration and muscle tension, and can suppress the digestive system and immune system. Every single physical disease including heart attack, diabetes, hypertension, asthma is affected by anxiety, stress, depression, or other mental health issues. One of the best ways to counteract these affects is skin-to-skin contact.

Touch stimulates pressure receptors in the skin that transport signals to the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body, and is connected with the parasympathetic nervous system. It touches every major organ, and helps you rest and digest. Stimulating the vagus nerve sends signals to slow the pace of the nervous system there-by reducing stress.

In addition to the vagus nerve, scientists have found that nerve endings in the skin, known as C-tactile afferents, exists to recognize any form of gentle touch. Stimulating these nerves results in an immediate release of oxytocin. Oxytocin increases positive, feel-good sensations of trust, emotional bonding and social connection, while simultaneously decreasing fear and anxiety responses in the brain. For this reason, oxytocin is affectionately known as the “cuddle hormone.”

How do you know if you’re touch starved?

There’s no definitive way to know if you are touch starved. But pay attrition to what your mind and your body are telling you. This is in no way a comprehensive list, but signs to look out for include:

feelings of depression

feelings of loneliness or exclusion

anxiety

stress

irritability or aggression

issues with body image

low relationship satisfaction

difficulty sleeping

a tendency to avoid secure attachments

I realized that I was touch starved when I saw a couple posts about it on Tumblr and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. In the past when I have spent time with my friends, I have found my mind wandering to thoughts of what it would be like to reach out and touch them: to hold their hand, to hug them, to lean on them, to play with their hair, etc. But I have always been afraid to act on these impulses. When I get my hair cut or have a massage I relish in the sensation of physical touch, because I am not getting it from anywhere else. I have never realized until now that physical touch is something that I have been missing in my life. But reflecting now, it is really obvious and is probably contributing to my issues of stress and anxiety.

What if you don’t particularly like being touched — can you still be touch starved?

YES! Absolutely.

Touch is an intimate thing and it is something we link closely to trust. For a lot of people, it is difficult to initiate physical connection for various reasons. It can be hard to determine what level of touch is appropriate i.e. should you go for a hug or a handshake. People on the neurodiverse or asexual spectrums are also often uncomfortable with touching. People’s comfort level with touch varies with their personality as well as their background. Statistically, people who grew up with touchy-feely families or cultures are going to be more comfortable with physical connection. Touch deprivation can actually create a self-reinforcing cycle where we feel alienated from others and therefore begin to shy away from social contact.  

However, just because someone doesn’t like being touched under normal circumstances doesn’t mean that they can’t find themselves touch starved. In a general sense I don’t like being touched. On several occasions I have found myself physically cringing away from other people’s touch, even when it is not sexual or inappropriate. I think that a part of this can be attributed to the fact that I am asexual, but I also think that the culture I was raised in and my own personality contribute to this as well. I am an introverted person; I never initiate physical contact and yet I crave it in my day-to-day life. For me I need to reach a certain level of comfort with someone before thoughts of physical contact come into my head. My comfort level also varies from day-to-day and with my mood.

So now that I know what the problem is, how can I fix it?

In case you weren’t aware physical contact is not recommended at this time due to the fact that there is an international pandemic. So, while nothing can wholly replace the benefits of positive human touch, I have uncovered a few coping strategies:

Video chatting

video chatting is, reportedly, about 80 percent as effective as in-person contact at releasing those feel-good chemicals

Physical exercise such as yoga or dance

exercise has proven an effective way to increase the release of oxytocin in the brain – dancing can also increase dopamine levels

Singing

singing is another way to get that oxytocin fix

Taking long, hot baths and showers

hot water relieves muscle tension, puts you in a better mood, and minimizes cold and flu symptoms

Petting an animal

spending some time with your favorite four-legged friend cuts down on feelings of loneliness and depression

Using a weighted blanket

weighted blankets offer deep pressure stimulation which helps relax the nervous system - they’re great for calming anxiety, too, because the weight of the blanket helps release those feel-good chemicals

Using a warm blanket

just like swaddling a baby a warm blanket can invoke feelings of security and comfort helping to calm your nerves

Sleeping with a body pillow

a body pillow mimics what it feels like to hug or cuddle with another person and sleeping with one can help to reduce stress and aid the body in releasing oxytocin – as a bonus body pillows can create a more comfortable sleep by supporting the back and shoulders

Listening to ASMR

certain sounds, such as whispering or brushing hair, can invoke sense memories and stimulate the part of the brain associated with touch and connection

In addition to these strategies there are also several self-soothing techniques you can use to help with feeling touch starved:

Forearm stroke

Remove any bracelets, rings, watches, etc. Put your right arm next to your body and turn your right palm up, fingers together. Bring your arm up until your forearm and upper arm are at a 45-degree angle. Take your left hand and touch the fingertips of your right hand. Slowly and gently run your fingertips down your left fingers, palm, wrist and inside of the forearm, stopping at the inner elbow. Repeat 10 times.

Adult swaddling

Get out a blanket and put the long edge behind your neck. Drape the blanket over your shoulders. Gather a good handful of the blanket in each hand until you feel it tightening around your shoulders, and then cross your arms to pull it tighter around your upper arms and back. Hold for 30-60 seconds, and breathe.

Self-massage

Lie on your bed on your back naked, with a towel underneath you. Take a bit of lotion, cream, or oil in your left hand, and begin applying it in long, slow strokes to your right arm. Allow your hand to glide over the surface of your skin instead of focusing on absorption. Move on to your chest and torso, starting from your chin and your neck, using the same long strokes. Switch hands, and have the right hand do the left arm, and then do your legs and your feet. Start with five minutes and work your way up to 10 minutes.

Skin stimulation

Take a long-handled, soft-bristle brush and firmly run it back and forth across your arms, legs, torso, back, sides and chest prior to going to bed. The stimulation to your skin can help you sleep better. You can also do something similar for your scalp by brushing your hair 100 times.

Vagus nerve stimulation

You can stimulate the vagus nerve from the outside of the body by stroking the sides of your neck. Start behind your earlobe, and move your fingers down to your collarbone. Repeat until you feel your breath deepen, jaw relax and your mouth falls open a bit. You can also stimulate the vagus nerve by massaging or rubbing your feet.

Pressure points

Using your index finger and thumb, press the web of your other hand for five seconds. This relieves tension in your shoulders, and using your index finger or thumb and firmly rubbing on the temple of your face in a circular motion will relieve sinus pain and help you feel relaxed.

Sense memory

Close your eyes, and recall an amazing hug you received. It could be from a parent, relative, or child, a stranger, friend, or lover. Zero in on the details: what color was their shirt? Did they smell like onions because you just finished eating sub sandwiches? Where were you? Once you have the details, shift your attention to your body, and focus on what this hug felt like. Allow yourself to linger on the feeling of being safe, loved, cared for, and seen by another person.

EFT tapping

Emotional freedom technique (EFT) is an alternative treatment for physical pain and emotional distress. It’s also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure. People who use this technique believe tapping the body can create a balance in your energy system and treat pain. Though still being researched, EFT tapping has been used to treat people with anxiety and people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

I found this video that will guide you through the whole process (the meditation starts at 4:30 and lasts about 15 minutes - she also does a shorter meditation starting at 26:20 that lasts about 4 minuets): https://tappingdetective.com/videos

Sources:

https://www.healthline.com/health/touch-starved#definition

https://www.tmc.edu/news/2020/05/touch-starvation/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways-to-self-soothe-when-starved-for-touch/

https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/managing-touch-deprivation

https://zora.medium.com/how-i-am-dealing-with-touch-starvation-829d7c091e8b

https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping#:~:text=Emotional%20freedom%20technique%20(EFT)%20is,energy%20system%20and%20treat%20pain.

#touch starved #covid_19 #quarentinelife

[s3venpounds]

1 - 40

jesus buddy, if you wanted to know more about me just friend me somewhere and talk to me facebook,discord,overwatch,psn, snapchat w.e! haha i dont bite!

also this is gonna be really feckin long

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

How to train your dragon (1 and 2 i can’t decide) I fucking LOVE dragons. the idea to fucking ride one in the sky?!?! fucking DOPE. the idea that theyre also SCALY DOGS?!?!? MOTHER.FUCKING.DOPE. i just associate the idea of freedom with flying through the sky and that feeling was conveyed really well in that movie so i really loved it!

2: Talk about your first kiss.

honestly? kinda dumb now that i look back on it. it was a peck, i wasn’t even like mentally prepared and it happened way faster than i thought. If i knew it was going to happen i would have really like milked that fucker. i woulda went romance movie on that shit with all the extra shit like groping and weird inhaling noises and kissing so hard your teeth almost clink together. but yknow coulda woulda shoulda

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

theyre not a part of my life anymore which admittedly fucking sucks but i think its for the better at least for them. do i wish it worked out and we were together? i mean yeah duh, the reasons i fell for them don’t fucking disintegrate/ i just have more information than i had when i first met that person. will i actually actively pursuit them in the chance to be with them again? hell no. i’m tired. and i’ve seen enough “ self confidence” posts on here to think “ hey if someone really wanted me in their life they would go out of their way to do so and seeing as they haven’t even messaged me in god knows how long then its safe to say theyre off being happy

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

man i haven’t seen this person is literally almost 20 years. I need to apologize. or at the very fucking least, see how theyre been doing. its driving me mad just trying to picture how theyre living and just coming up with a giant question mark.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

lets be real bro most of my birthdays have been shit so i gave up on tryna make them memorable or fun, ‘s just another day to me. i mean the best one would have to be this one time i got a gameboy advance but thats pretty much it

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

yknow how everyone says “ OH MY GOD WE SHOULD KEEP IN TOUCH” once you move? yeah thats bullshit. honest to god bullshit. i kept tabs on everyone when i moved to a different city and when i came down to visit for my birthday inviting all those people who supposed “wanted to keep in touch with me” literally 1 person showed up. and i think they only showed up because our parents were friends too. so yeah. fuck people sometimes.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

hygiene. breath, hair, clothes, eating habits, manners, anything that might make me come off as unclean to people im trying to impress drives me off the fucking wall. specially at formal events. if im wearing snazzy clothing at like a suite 16 or a debut or a wedding bet you $100 that im adjusting little aspects of my appearance every like 15 seconds. eating mints the second one is finished, trying not to be too close to someones face when talking, even when i fucking fart i always take note of which way the wind is blowing, or im sitting down on something that can absorb the stench, how much pressure is in my gut and how much of it can i let out in small bursts to avoid sound. that or asian dick syndrome. yknow. haha asians got a small dick? that kinda shit bugs me a bit. not a ton but more than i thought it would

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.(i am literally only 8 questions in and my fingers are a little sore from typing)

my singing and impressions? i once scared some friends when i imitated a party blower kazoo thingy since the ones they bought from the dollarstore didnt make any sound. same as my singing, i tend to get high scores and i impressed my cousins once with a perfect score on a backstreet boys song HEH

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

my biceps? theyre not like chris hemsworth level of meaty but like when i worked at this physically demanding job my coworkers are like “ woah dude ur arms are different from mine, if you worked out theyd look so ripped” that kinda stuck with me for a while specially knowing they were a football jock and they had their own special diet and fitness instructor or something. i also like my smile/ jaw shape? my hair can look pretty good too sometimes

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

my family is very passive aggressive oh and racist

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

i once had this dream where i had reallllly passionate sex and it felt real and i could feel like every little detail down to like hairs brushing my skin on my arms and shit. i swear to this day it was a modern day succubus or something

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

that dream where i was a bird and flying away from”something” just all my instincts telling me to RUN. or that dream where i got shot in the hand, chest then the head and before i blacked out i said “Ch*****” who incidentally i was going to see later that day which made things very awkward at least for me

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

it was pretty good. looking back i was probably shit in bed hahaha first time so of course theres shit to work out. 

14: Talk about a vacation.

hit on by a cousin AND their gay friend. to which the cousin threatened me with self harm but the gay friend took the rejection very easily it was almost baffling in comparison (although the second the settled down they started to bash on me for rejecting their friend) also ate some REALLLLLY garlic covered crab the smell took 5 washes to get out… also got to ride in the back of a truck as its driving at like 120 mph and flying off all these little hills and tracking mud everywhere it was great

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

she was in my arms fast asleep and i took a photo. she didnt like that but let me keep the pic so that was nice.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

i can’t really remember any that stand out they were all equally fun. dont get me wrong some were super fun its just that it was also followed by a lot of bad choices that kinda take it down a notch. i will say this one party a friend hosted where i got to meet a BUNCH of new people. i also snorted some fundip powder as a dare. they refuse to let it go so i figure might as well own it. i also landed some sweet shots in beerpong

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

ellen paige would be dope to be friends with. same with zendaya. and gal gadot just so i can like sit in her presence and be in awe for extended periods of time

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

i was cheating on a test and my so called friend ratted me out never talked to him again that white privilege lookin hoe

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

i stopped talking to a friend that id thought i would be friends with for my whole life. i also became friends with my current best friend

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

people are dumb. drama is dumb. people who seek out this kinda shit needa leave me the hell alone. and if youre going to challenge me to a fight, tell me about said fight so i can show up. dont march around telling people ur gonna fight me and not tell me so i dont show up and make it look like i pussied out. like for real?

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

oh yeah like the vacation one said : shit got really weird. and to have that sorta conversation on spotty wifi in an airport in south korea meaning jet lag is also disorienting af

22: Talk about your worst fear.

death. nuff said

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

it sucked but it happens so like.? lmao i dont really know waht to say but it sucked

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

i have a horrible memory and on top of that my mind moves at like 32754895274 miles a second so i dont keep stuff in mind a lot in the first place. i can’t really think of anything that had so much impact that i’ve remembered it. well i mean there was this one song a friend told me about in a letter and to this day i’ve kept remembering the same verse “ maybe if we met each other under a different sky maybe things would be much better between you and i”

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

we just….grew apart. and if we tried to be friends now im sure there would be tension and unease. hes just in a different friend circle. i dont hate him for it i just feel like hes living in a world of white and im living in a world of black like its just plain and simple

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

on the computer. i can’t rest when im sick. i just keep trudging along. school, work, hangouts, i still go. i just take precautions to not spread it

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

neck? shoulder? hands? face? hair? idk dood i don’t really like specific places more of how WELL those parts can mesh together to make this beautiful being.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

y’all about to learn some shit because im gonna teach you a thing about me. pov’s, deepthroat/gagging, emo/goth, anal, massage, ropes and power trips, asians, tentacles if im feeling kinky, hentai /cartoon shit, glory holes, dirty talk and asmr (who woulda thought theres porn for that huh?), ahegao(being fucked silly or till your mind breaks into being nothing but a cumdump), swallowing, threesomes, double penetration, latex is pretty cool too, cosplays are nice if the characters are ones i recognize, tittyfucks, source film maker porn of like video game characters are getting pretty professional nowadays, lesbian, orgys, teenage girls and old ass guys, horse dicks and girls who try to take em, i got turned on by a girl fucking a dog once so i guess bestiality is a thing, oh i saw this scene in a movie im not sure if it was real it seems kinda hazy but it involved necrophilia but im not sure if it turned me on or it was so weird i’ve memorized it because of how weird it was. chicks with dicks fucking other chicks. and a plethora of other weird shit. i dont know what fetishes count and what doesn’t so i just listed whatever came to mind as i wrote have fun with that shit

29: Talk about what turns you on. 

short hair, asian heritage, playful and lighthearted but can be lustful as all hell, shorter than me, big boobs is a plus, mid driffs, underboob, small frame or face, scent( god if you smell good thats instant brownie points with me), likes anime, high pitch voices are cute as hell, very physically intimate, loves PDA’s, yeah i can’t really think of much

30: Talk about what turns you off.

uhh smells bad?, when their personality is bland/boring, or just shit. over timidness i get being shy but like if you can’t trust that the person youre interested in then like what am i supposed to do. i literally dated a girl who was so sheepish all i could do was ask her yes or no questions. and honestly that got old really fucking fast. i get she was trying but like i can only finesse so much of a relationship man. bad hygiene holy fuck. if you got like ear wax showin our ur ears, or like a bleeding pimple in plain view and refuse to at least dab it with a wet cloth or tissue then pls its not gonna work out. dandruff oh my gOD. dandruff would drive me nuts. like if i get close enough to see individual fucking flakes im gonna tear my whole scalp off

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

i feel like our bodies stop responding but our “souls” are still present there trapped screaming and trying to move our body but can’t. and thats why burials and shit sound so terrifying

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

dont need to. im a couple blocks away i can visit it any time. (my elementary and middle school the neighbourhood surrounding it was also where i used to live so that was dope)

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

i force myself to get MORE sad so i can get it all out in one go and much faster. like how the human mind can only get so angry that the brain gives up and just tries to find another way to spend its time. 

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

when i was a kid me and bunch of other kids decided to clog a slide with just a shit ton of people and one of my friends who came after me kept pushing me to the point i was hanging on for dear life using only my knee down that was wedged between a fat kid and my friend who went after me. i fell off eventually knocking skulls with another kid near the end of the slide(this slide was shaped like a spring so that explains why there were kids under me) my arm bend backwards for a sec after hitting another kid’s legs, and then i fell chest and fast first on the asphalt winding myself. kids are rugged as all hell man they can really take a hit. i walked it off but god damn if i didnt get bruises and shit afterwards. or that time i got beaten so bad by father dearest because work was stressful and i ended up blacking out. wasn’t even allowed to go to the hospital. just kinda laid down in my room with bruises all over.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

relying on people for happiness. distracting myself from sadness and responsibilities. procrastinating in general

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

i dont really feel guilt save for some specific circumstances. ask any of my friends. does that mean im a sociopath or whatever? 

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

they just got out of a relationship with someone and was avoiding them profusely and i just started to get to know them. we got to the point that when she was ready we could date. little did i know that later, she would end up dating a friend of mine. to which i promptly had the appropriate reaction of crying myself to sleep, sending that friend a text message with all the things he should know to keep that girl happy and ultimately smashing a lot of things (some bottles actually because we were gonna build a sculpture or something together with em. man middle school was a fucking RIDE)

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

mmmmmm i would prefer to keep those underwraps.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

family will be there for you in the end. (not because they want to but because the world teaches them that they have to meaning they will help just in their own way and to their own ends.) friends come and go. they always have always will. anyone who says forever is a fuckin idiot. lovers come and go thats just a natural part of growing up. and lets be real all the people that said they would self harm ultimately never did so dont stress it so much god damn(but dont let it slide either)

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

how about the end of my interest in anime and video games. nothing seems to really interest me anymore. everything is just kinda “meh”

#ask me shit #its fun to tell people way more shit than they wanted

[kidtheadult]

I saw one of your comics a while back about ASMR. I ended up checking ASMR out and I love it! It really helps calm me down. But I'm still sort of new to everything. Do you have any recommendations? Like channels, videos, or triggers?

Here are some of my favorite channels:

Gentle Whispering ASMR

ASMR Mania English

Darya Lozhkina ASMR

Latte ASMR

Olivia’s Kissper ASMR

WhispersRed ASMR

Fairy Char ASMR

So I guess….. generally I like people with non-American accents? lol. I’d say my fave triggers are probably soft tapping, hair brushing, personal attention, soft speaking! So…. i like makeup videos a lot, mostly. Funny story, I fist discovered that ASMR tingle through Michelle Phan videos lol.

#ask kid #kid the adult #asmr #youtube links

[amyddaniels]

Inside the ASMR Meditation People Are Calling a Brain Orgasm

One Yoga Journal editor replaced her daily meditation practice with ASMR YouTube videos for a week. Here’s what happened.

Curious about the ASMR meditation technique some people are calling an orgasm for your brain? We were, too, so we had one of our editors try it. Here’s her story. 

“O.K., I have to give you a shot; but it’ll only hurt for a second,” my little sister says to me as I lie completely still on her bed. We’re ages 4 and 6, and playing “doctor” is one of our favorite games. In a few months, she’ll decide on a career in dentistry (she’s since changed her mind), and our mock physicals will quickly morph into make-believe oral procedures. I’ll open wide in our cotton-candy-blue bathtub (“the dentist’s chair”) and she’ll count my teeth thoughtfully one by one.

Rarely would you find me on the other side of the table, so to speak. Being the administrator of mythological medicine never interested me. Yet being still and quiet while my sister “fixed” my feigned ailments relaxed me in a way I could never describe. It was just like the feeling I’d get when we’d sneak into our mom’s bathroom and steal her makeup brushes, taking turns whisking the soft bristles across each other’s faces: gentle tingles running up and down my spine, dancing around my scalp—like tummy butterflies for the spinal cord. But no one else I knew ever mentioned butterflies of the brain; no one talked about it on TV. So, I figured it was just me.

See also How to Meditate Daily 

What is ASMR Meditation?

Two-and-a-half decades later, and the euphoria I felt from getting fake fillings has a cult following to rival Game of Thrones. Dubbed ASMR (short for autonomous sensory meridian response) in 2010, it’s a highly relaxing, pleasurable tingling that’s felt on the skin and scalp after certain stimuli. The phenomenon gained a huge online following after someone asked the internet about “head orgasms” back in 2007. All of a sudden, people like me were realizing they weren’t alone in their tingling—and wanted to know more about what made them feel great.

Fans quickly took to YouTube, posting videos of mock physicals, face massages, and even crinkling potato chip bags—all intended to trigger the zombie-like relaxation that comes with what became known as ASMR. While the sensation itself is still clouded in mystery (no one knows why some people are triggered and some aren’t), experts now say that for those who experience it, it can be as powerful a tool as meditation. To wit: New research from Sheffield University, published in June in the journal PLOS One, found that ASMR was associated with reduced heart rate and increased skin conductance levels (a fancy term for physical arousal that’s linked with better attention and memory). The researchers determined that ASMR is, in fact, a physiological experience that could have therapeutic benefits for mental and physical health—with the potential to minimize depression, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain.

Unfashionably late to this particular party, I first read about ASMR in a Sunday New York Times this past February. In an article titled “The Currency of a Relaxing Sound or Tingle,” reporter Andrea Marks described a therapeutic, interactive theatrical experience where participants played passive roles in scenes including “sitting at a table while someone crinkles paper in your ears, visiting a ‘doctor’s office,’ having your face stroked with makeup brushes, and a hair-brushing encounter.” (Insert brain-exploding emoji here.) The Brooklyn pop-up performance was orchestrated by San Francisco's Whisperlodge—an immersive traveling show that curates intimate, one-on-one ASMR experiences for audiences that usually emerge from the quiet cocoon in a zen-like haze.

“There’s a tangible benefit you can feel in your body after you exit our performance, but we haven’t been able to back it up with science until now,” Whisperlodge co-creator Melinda Lauw says of the University of Sheffield findings. It’s similar to meditation, she says, because “it’s about paying attention—to small sounds and sensations. You become super quiet and aware.”

See also Rx Meditation: Headspace's New Prescription Strategy Could Change the Way We All Meditate

Down the ASMR Meditation Rabbit Hole

As someone who’s struggled diligently for years to achieve euphoria through meditation, I wanted to see what would happen if I subbed a daily ASMR YouTube video for my regular meditation practice. The first one I launched was called “Taps for Your Naps,” created by ASMR darling Maria (she prefers not to reveal her last name), the personality behind popular YouTube channel Gentle Whispering ASMR.

After you skip an advertisement, tourmaline-looking gemstones fill the screen. They line a plastic sheet of paper like stars on an American flag, and a pink-and-white manicure atop ten flittering fingers tenderly strokes each row, producing tingle-inducing little tapping sounds with each stroke. There it is. That inexplicably warm, all-encompassing feeling engulfs my skull like a massage shampoo. My limbs sink a little deeper into my couch cushions as I slowly exhaust the “Up Next” queue.

Your Brain on ASMR

But what is it about soft sounds and borderline-creepy caregiver videos that make some of us—an estimated 20 percent of the population—melt into our mattresses? More neurological research is needed to know for sure, but biopharmaceutical sciences professor Craig Richard, PhD, author of the forthcoming book Brain Tingles: the Secret to Triggering Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response for Improved Sleep, Stress Relief, and Head-to-Toe Euphoria and co-founder of the ASMR Research Project, thinks it’s a genetic response that’s designed to help us feel relaxed, mitigating stress hormones and promoting overall health in the process. “Almost all of our biological functions and reactions are to our benefit,” he says. “So why have we evolved? Why might this be?”

The answer may be in the basic way primates soothe their offspring, he says. How a mother coos and nurtures her fussy babe: She hushes her tone, offers a caring gaze and a gentle touch, conveying with every molecule that It’s alright. You’re OK. “That’s what these videos are doing,” says Richard. “They’re sending a signal to viewers that they’re safe and cared for in a non-threatening way. When a child scrapes his knee, it’s hugging; it’s lowering your voice; it’s focused personal attention. Our brains are hardwired for patterned recognition of those stimuli.” Most likely, certain brain chemicals are at play, Richard says. Research has shown that when a parent soothes an infant, or a teacher comforts an unhappy child, a “brain cocktail” of endorphins, oxytocin (love hormone), dopamine, serotonin (happiness hormone), GABA (relaxation and sleepiness stimulator), and melatonin (sleep hormone) are released, which probably work together to evoke ASMR.

If our brains are primed to feel good when we’re pampered, why is it that we all don’t bliss-out watching Bob Ross paint on PBS (a common ASMR trigger)? It’s likely that a genetic mutation is responsible, says Richard.

We can think of ASMR like the mirror image of a panic attack, he says—an extreme negative reaction to an event or experience. Most of us might get agitated on a crowded subway platform, but fewer of us are apt to feel faint. “We know about phobias and anxiety,” he says, (genetics play a role in both). “But there was no word for the opposite—the other extreme, where people are highly relaxed by certain stimuli.” That is, of course, until ASMR earned its title.

It’s still a new frontier. Richard and Lauw hope forthcoming studies will prove ASMR’s potential health benefits by comparing blood pressure, cortisol levels, and brain scans of people experiencing ASMR against control groups. Anecdotally, devotees already claim that ASMR has helped them overcome anxiety, insomnia, drug addiction, and PTSD.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

You can access ASMR on YouTube in the comfort of your own home.

ASMR and yoga—and me

On a Friday afternoon, a week into my ASMR experiment, I propped up on my sunroom sofa to try out a new (to me) YouTube ASMRtist. I had plans to meet a friend at 5 o’clock. But at 4:47, there I remained, limp-limbed on the couch while a 40-something redhead performed “skin treatments” into the camera—wafting essential oils in front of “my nose” and encouraging me, in a British accent, to “take deep, slow breaths.” I couldn’t move—let alone call a Lyft. Like sinking deep into Savasana (Corpse Pose) at the end of a restorative yoga class, all desire to re-enter the so-called real world had diminished. In this moment, it dawned on me that I’d been experiencing ASMR in my favorite yoga classes all along.

Richard says that yoga classes that incorporate ASMR are a no-brainer, although as founder of ASMRUniversity.com, he may be biased. Not unlike the intimate in-person experiences curated by Whisper Lodge, he says, yoga classes try to foster safe environments where one can relax and make room for self-nurturing. To this end, Kim, a New Zealand yogi and ASMRtist (who goes by the moniker Miss Synchronicity and like most ASMRtists, chooses to keep her last name private), has integrated yoga into some of her ASMR videos, and her audience loves it. She’s not alone: More and more instructional yoga videos are popping up on YouTube that incorporate ASMR triggers like whispering, tapping sounds, and pretend pampering. “Just like ASMR, yoga brings together the body and mind, expressing relaxation and mindfulness through the breath,” she says.

I can vouch for this. After my daily ASMR sessions, I find myself breathing deeper, moving slower, staying more in the moment, and feeling less attached to future results and outcomes. This new-found chill can last from 30 minutes to a couple of hours.

And the best part for me? Unlike my oft-failed attempts at getting present through meditation, ASMR works every time.

See also A One-Strap Restorative Yoga Sequence for Self-Care

About the Author Lindsay Tucker is a senior editor at Yoga Journal.

[cedarrrun]

One Yoga Journal editor replaced her daily meditation practice with ASMR YouTube videos for a week. Here’s what happened.

Curious about the ASMR meditation technique some people are calling an orgasm for your brain? We were, too, so we had one of our editors try it. Here’s her story. 

“O.K., I have to give you a shot; but it’ll only hurt for a second,” my little sister says to me as I lie completely still on her bed. We’re ages 4 and 6, and playing “doctor” is one of our favorite games. In a few months, she’ll decide on a career in dentistry (she’s since changed her mind), and our mock physicals will quickly morph into make-believe oral procedures. I’ll open wide in our cotton-candy-blue bathtub (“the dentist’s chair”) and she’ll count my teeth thoughtfully one by one.

Rarely would you find me on the other side of the table, so to speak. Being the administrator of mythological medicine never interested me. Yet being still and quiet while my sister “fixed” my feigned ailments relaxed me in a way I could never describe. It was just like the feeling I’d get when we’d sneak into our mom’s bathroom and steal her makeup brushes, taking turns whisking the soft bristles across each other’s faces: gentle tingles running up and down my spine, dancing around my scalp—like tummy butterflies for the spinal cord. But no one else I knew ever mentioned butterflies of the brain; no one talked about it on TV. So, I figured it was just me.

See also How to Meditate Daily 

What is ASMR Meditation?

Two-and-a-half decades later, and the euphoria I felt from getting fake fillings has a cult following to rival Game of Thrones. Dubbed ASMR (short for autonomous sensory meridian response) in 2010, it’s a highly relaxing, pleasurable tingling that’s felt on the skin and scalp after certain stimuli. The phenomenon gained a huge online following after someone asked the internet about “head orgasms” back in 2007. All of a sudden, people like me were realizing they weren’t alone in their tingling—and wanted to know more about what made them feel great.

Fans quickly took to YouTube, posting videos of mock physicals, face massages, and even crinkling potato chip bags—all intended to trigger the zombie-like relaxation that comes with what became known as ASMR. While the sensation itself is still clouded in mystery (no one knows why some people are triggered and some aren’t), experts now say that for those who experience it, it can be as powerful a tool as meditation. To wit: New research from Sheffield University, published in June in the journal PLOS One, found that ASMR was associated with reduced heart rate and increased skin conductance levels (a fancy term for physical arousal that’s linked with better attention and memory). The researchers determined that ASMR is, in fact, a physiological experience that could have therapeutic benefits for mental and physical health—with the potential to minimize depression, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain.

Unfashionably late to this particular party, I first read about ASMR in a Sunday New York Times this past February. In an article titled “The Currency of a Relaxing Sound or Tingle,” reporter Andrea Marks described a therapeutic, interactive theatrical experience where participants played passive roles in scenes including “sitting at a table while someone crinkles paper in your ears, visiting a ‘doctor’s office,’ having your face stroked with makeup brushes, and a hair-brushing encounter.” (Insert brain-exploding emoji here.) The Brooklyn pop-up performance was orchestrated by San Francisco's Whisperlodge—an immersive traveling show that curates intimate, one-on-one ASMR experiences for audiences that usually emerge from the quiet cocoon in a zen-like haze.

“There’s a tangible benefit you can feel in your body after you exit our performance, but we haven’t been able to back it up with science until now,” Whisperlodge co-creator Melinda Lauw says of the University of Sheffield findings. It’s similar to meditation, she says, because “it’s about paying attention—to small sounds and sensations. You become super quiet and aware.”

See also Rx Meditation: Headspace's New Prescription Strategy Could Change the Way We All Meditate

Down the ASMR Meditation Rabbit Hole

As someone who’s struggled diligently for years to achieve euphoria through meditation, I wanted to see what would happen if I subbed a daily ASMR YouTube video for my regular meditation practice. The first one I launched was called “Taps for Your Naps,” created by ASMR darling Maria (she prefers not to reveal her last name), the personality behind popular YouTube channel Gentle Whispering ASMR.

After you skip an advertisement, tourmaline-looking gemstones fill the screen. They line a plastic sheet of paper like stars on an American flag, and a pink-and-white manicure atop ten flittering fingers tenderly strokes each row, producing tingle-inducing little tapping sounds with each stroke. There it is. That inexplicably warm, all-encompassing feeling engulfs my skull like a massage shampoo. My limbs sink a little deeper into my couch cushions as I slowly exhaust the “Up Next” queue.

Your Brain on ASMR

But what is it about soft sounds and borderline-creepy caregiver videos that make some of us—an estimated 20 percent of the population—melt into our mattresses? More neurological research is needed to know for sure, but biopharmaceutical sciences professor Craig Richard, PhD, author of the forthcoming book Brain Tingles: the Secret to Triggering Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response for Improved Sleep, Stress Relief, and Head-to-Toe Euphoria and co-founder of the ASMR Research Project, thinks it’s a genetic response that’s designed to help us feel relaxed, mitigating stress hormones and promoting overall health in the process. “Almost all of our biological functions and reactions are to our benefit,” he says. “So why have we evolved? Why might this be?”

The answer may be in the basic way primates soothe their offspring, he says. How a mother coos and nurtures her fussy babe: She hushes her tone, offers a caring gaze and a gentle touch, conveying with every molecule that It’s alright. You’re OK. “That’s what these videos are doing,” says Richard. “They’re sending a signal to viewers that they’re safe and cared for in a non-threatening way. When a child scrapes his knee, it’s hugging; it’s lowering your voice; it’s focused personal attention. Our brains are hardwired for patterned recognition of those stimuli.” Most likely, certain brain chemicals are at play, Richard says. Research has shown that when a parent soothes an infant, or a teacher comforts an unhappy child, a “brain cocktail” of endorphins, oxytocin (love hormone), dopamine, serotonin (happiness hormone), GABA (relaxation and sleepiness stimulator), and melatonin (sleep hormone) are released, which probably work together to evoke ASMR.

If our brains are primed to feel good when we’re pampered, why is it that we all don’t bliss-out watching Bob Ross paint on PBS (a common ASMR trigger)? It’s likely that a genetic mutation is responsible, says Richard.

We can think of ASMR like the mirror image of a panic attack, he says—an extreme negative reaction to an event or experience. Most of us might get agitated on a crowded subway platform, but fewer of us are apt to feel faint. “We know about phobias and anxiety,” he says, (genetics play a role in both). “But there was no word for the opposite—the other extreme, where people are highly relaxed by certain stimuli.” That is, of course, until ASMR earned its title.

It’s still a new frontier. Richard and Lauw hope forthcoming studies will prove ASMR’s potential health benefits by comparing blood pressure, cortisol levels, and brain scans of people experiencing ASMR against control groups. Anecdotally, devotees already claim that ASMR has helped them overcome anxiety, insomnia, drug addiction, and PTSD.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

You can access ASMR on YouTube in the comfort of your own home.

ASMR and yoga—and me

On a Friday afternoon, a week into my ASMR experiment, I propped up on my sunroom sofa to try out a new (to me) YouTube ASMRtist. I had plans to meet a friend at 5 o’clock. But at 4:47, there I remained, limp-limbed on the couch while a 40-something redhead performed “skin treatments” into the camera—wafting essential oils in front of “my nose” and encouraging me, in a British accent, to “take deep, slow breaths.” I couldn’t move—let alone call a Lyft. Like sinking deep into Savasana (Corpse Pose) at the end of a restorative yoga class, all desire to re-enter the so-called real world had diminished. In this moment, it dawned on me that I’d been experiencing ASMR in my favorite yoga classes all along.

Richard says that yoga classes that incorporate ASMR are a no-brainer, although as founder of ASMRUniversity.com, he may be biased. Not unlike the intimate in-person experiences curated by Whisper Lodge, he says, yoga classes try to foster safe environments where one can relax and make room for self-nurturing. To this end, Kim, a New Zealand yogi and ASMRtist (who goes by the moniker Miss Synchronicity and like most ASMRtists, chooses to keep her last name private), has integrated yoga into some of her ASMR videos, and her audience loves it. She’s not alone: More and more instructional yoga videos are popping up on YouTube that incorporate ASMR triggers like whispering, tapping sounds, and pretend pampering. “Just like ASMR, yoga brings together the body and mind, expressing relaxation and mindfulness through the breath,” she says.

I can vouch for this. After my daily ASMR sessions, I find myself breathing deeper, moving slower, staying more in the moment, and feeling less attached to future results and outcomes. This new-found chill can last from 30 minutes to a couple of hours.

And the best part for me? Unlike my oft-failed attempts at getting present through meditation, ASMR works every time.

See also A One-Strap Restorative Yoga Sequence for Self-Care

About the Author Lindsay Tucker is a senior editor at Yoga Journal.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

[remedialmassage]

Inside the ASMR Meditation People Are Calling a Brain Orgasm

One Yoga Journal editor replaced her daily meditation practice with ASMR YouTube videos for a week. Here’s what happened.

Curious about the ASMR meditation technique some people are calling an orgasm for your brain? We were, too, so we had one of our editors try it. Here’s her story. 

“O.K., I have to give you a shot; but it’ll only hurt for a second,” my little sister says to me as I lie completely still on her bed. We’re ages 4 and 6, and playing “doctor” is one of our favorite games. In a few months, she’ll decide on a career in dentistry (she’s since changed her mind), and our mock physicals will quickly morph into make-believe oral procedures. I’ll open wide in our cotton-candy-blue bathtub (“the dentist’s chair”) and she’ll count my teeth thoughtfully one by one.

Rarely would you find me on the other side of the table, so to speak. Being the administrator of mythological medicine never interested me. Yet being still and quiet while my sister “fixed” my feigned ailments relaxed me in a way I could never describe. It was just like the feeling I’d get when we’d sneak into our mom’s bathroom and steal her makeup brushes, taking turns whisking the soft bristles across each other’s faces: gentle tingles running up and down my spine, dancing around my scalp—like tummy butterflies for the spinal cord. But no one else I knew ever mentioned butterflies of the brain; no one talked about it on TV. So, I figured it was just me.

See also How to Meditate Daily 

What is ASMR Meditation?

Two-and-a-half decades later, and the euphoria I felt from getting fake fillings has a cult following to rival Game of Thrones. Dubbed ASMR (short for autonomous sensory meridian response) in 2010, it’s a highly relaxing, pleasurable tingling that’s felt on the skin and scalp after certain stimuli. The phenomenon gained a huge online following after someone asked the internet about “head orgasms” back in 2007. All of a sudden, people like me were realizing they weren’t alone in their tingling—and wanted to know more about what made them feel great.

Fans quickly took to YouTube, posting videos of mock physicals, face massages, and even crinkling potato chip bags—all intended to trigger the zombie-like relaxation that comes with what became known as ASMR. While the sensation itself is still clouded in mystery (no one knows why some people are triggered and some aren’t), experts now say that for those who experience it, it can be as powerful a tool as meditation. To wit: New research from Sheffield University, published in June in the journal PLOS One, found that ASMR was associated with reduced heart rate and increased skin conductance levels (a fancy term for physical arousal that’s linked with better attention and memory). The researchers determined that ASMR is, in fact, a physiological experience that could have therapeutic benefits for mental and physical health—with the potential to minimize depression, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain.

Unfashionably late to this particular party, I first read about ASMR in a Sunday New York Times this past February. In an article titled “The Currency of a Relaxing Sound or Tingle,” reporter Andrea Marks described a therapeutic, interactive theatrical experience where participants played passive roles in scenes including “sitting at a table while someone crinkles paper in your ears, visiting a ‘doctor’s office,’ having your face stroked with makeup brushes, and a hair-brushing encounter.” (Insert brain-exploding emoji here.) The Brooklyn pop-up performance was orchestrated by San Francisco's Whisperlodge—an immersive traveling show that curates intimate, one-on-one ASMR experiences for audiences that usually emerge from the quiet cocoon in a zen-like haze.

“There’s a tangible benefit you can feel in your body after you exit our performance, but we haven’t been able to back it up with science until now,” Whisperlodge co-creator Melinda Lauw says of the University of Sheffield findings. It’s similar to meditation, she says, because “it’s about paying attention—to small sounds and sensations. You become super quiet and aware.”

See also Rx Meditation: Headspace's New Prescription Strategy Could Change the Way We All Meditate

Down the ASMR Meditation Rabbit Hole

As someone who’s struggled diligently for years to achieve euphoria through meditation, I wanted to see what would happen if I subbed a daily ASMR YouTube video for my regular meditation practice. The first one I launched was called “Taps for Your Naps,” created by ASMR darling Maria (she prefers not to reveal her last name), the personality behind popular YouTube channel Gentle Whispering ASMR.

After you skip an advertisement, tourmaline-looking gemstones fill the screen. They line a plastic sheet of paper like stars on an American flag, and a pink-and-white manicure atop ten flittering fingers tenderly strokes each row, producing tingle-inducing little tapping sounds with each stroke. There it is. That inexplicably warm, all-encompassing feeling engulfs my skull like a massage shampoo. My limbs sink a little deeper into my couch cushions as I slowly exhaust the “Up Next” queue.

Your Brain on ASMR

But what is it about soft sounds and borderline-creepy caregiver videos that make some of us—an estimated 20 percent of the population—melt into our mattresses? More neurological research is needed to know for sure, but biopharmaceutical sciences professor Craig Richard, PhD, author of the forthcoming book Brain Tingles: the Secret to Triggering Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response for Improved Sleep, Stress Relief, and Head-to-Toe Euphoria and co-founder of the ASMR Research Project, thinks it’s a genetic response that’s designed to help us feel relaxed, mitigating stress hormones and promoting overall health in the process. “Almost all of our biological functions and reactions are to our benefit,” he says. “So why have we evolved? Why might this be?”

The answer may be in the basic way primates soothe their offspring, he says. How a mother coos and nurtures her fussy babe: She hushes her tone, offers a caring gaze and a gentle touch, conveying with every molecule that It’s alright. You’re OK. “That’s what these videos are doing,” says Richard. “They’re sending a signal to viewers that they’re safe and cared for in a non-threatening way. When a child scrapes his knee, it’s hugging; it’s lowering your voice; it’s focused personal attention. Our brains are hardwired for patterned recognition of those stimuli.” Most likely, certain brain chemicals are at play, Richard says. Research has shown that when a parent soothes an infant, or a teacher comforts an unhappy child, a “brain cocktail” of endorphins, oxytocin (love hormone), dopamine, serotonin (happiness hormone), GABA (relaxation and sleepiness stimulator), and melatonin (sleep hormone) are released, which probably work together to evoke ASMR.

If our brains are primed to feel good when we’re pampered, why is it that we all don’t bliss-out watching Bob Ross paint on PBS (a common ASMR trigger)? It’s likely that a genetic mutation is responsible, says Richard.

We can think of ASMR like the mirror image of a panic attack, he says—an extreme negative reaction to an event or experience. Most of us might get agitated on a crowded subway platform, but fewer of us are apt to feel faint. “We know about phobias and anxiety,” he says, (genetics play a role in both). “But there was no word for the opposite—the other extreme, where people are highly relaxed by certain stimuli.” That is, of course, until ASMR earned its title.

It’s still a new frontier. Richard and Lauw hope forthcoming studies will prove ASMR’s potential health benefits by comparing blood pressure, cortisol levels, and brain scans of people experiencing ASMR against control groups. Anecdotally, devotees already claim that ASMR has helped them overcome anxiety, insomnia, drug addiction, and PTSD.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

You can access ASMR on YouTube in the comfort of your own home.

ASMR and yoga—and me

On a Friday afternoon, a week into my ASMR experiment, I propped up on my sunroom sofa to try out a new (to me) YouTube ASMRtist. I had plans to meet a friend at 5 o’clock. But at 4:47, there I remained, limp-limbed on the couch while a 40-something redhead performed “skin treatments” into the camera—wafting essential oils in front of “my nose” and encouraging me, in a British accent, to “take deep, slow breaths.” I couldn’t move—let alone call a Lyft. Like sinking deep into Savasana (Corpse Pose) at the end of a restorative yoga class, all desire to re-enter the so-called real world had diminished. In this moment, it dawned on me that I’d been experiencing ASMR in my favorite yoga classes all along.

Richard says that yoga classes that incorporate ASMR are a no-brainer, although as founder of ASMRUniversity.com, he may be biased. Not unlike the intimate in-person experiences curated by Whisper Lodge, he says, yoga classes try to foster safe environments where one can relax and make room for self-nurturing. To this end, Kim, a New Zealand yogi and ASMRtist (who goes by the moniker Miss Synchronicity and like most ASMRtists, chooses to keep her last name private), has integrated yoga into some of her ASMR videos, and her audience loves it. She’s not alone: More and more instructional yoga videos are popping up on YouTube that incorporate ASMR triggers like whispering, tapping sounds, and pretend pampering. “Just like ASMR, yoga brings together the body and mind, expressing relaxation and mindfulness through the breath,” she says.

I can vouch for this. After my daily ASMR sessions, I find myself breathing deeper, moving slower, staying more in the moment, and feeling less attached to future results and outcomes. This new-found chill can last from 30 minutes to a couple of hours.

And the best part for me? Unlike my oft-failed attempts at getting present through meditation, ASMR works every time.

See also A One-Strap Restorative Yoga Sequence for Self-Care

About the Author Lindsay Tucker is a senior editor at Yoga Journal.

from Yoga Journal https://ift.tt/2PJDKcJ

#Yoga Journal

[krisiunicornio]

One Yoga Journal editor replaced her daily meditation practice with ASMR YouTube videos for a week. Here’s what happened.

Curious about the ASMR meditation technique some people are calling an orgasm for your brain? We were, too, so we had one of our editors try it. Here’s her story. 

“O.K., I have to give you a shot; but it’ll only hurt for a second,” my little sister says to me as I lie completely still on her bed. We’re ages 4 and 6, and playing “doctor” is one of our favorite games. In a few months, she’ll decide on a career in dentistry (she’s since changed her mind), and our mock physicals will quickly morph into make-believe oral procedures. I’ll open wide in our cotton-candy-blue bathtub (“the dentist’s chair”) and she’ll count my teeth thoughtfully one by one.

Rarely would you find me on the other side of the table, so to speak. Being the administrator of mythological medicine never interested me. Yet being still and quiet while my sister “fixed” my feigned ailments relaxed me in a way I could never describe. It was just like the feeling I’d get when we’d sneak into our mom’s bathroom and steal her makeup brushes, taking turns whisking the soft bristles across each other’s faces: gentle tingles running up and down my spine, dancing around my scalp—like tummy butterflies for the spinal cord. But no one else I knew ever mentioned butterflies of the brain; no one talked about it on TV. So, I figured it was just me.

See also How to Meditate Daily 

What is ASMR Meditation?

Two-and-a-half decades later, and the euphoria I felt from getting fake fillings has a cult following to rival Game of Thrones. Dubbed ASMR (short for autonomous sensory meridian response) in 2010, it’s a highly relaxing, pleasurable tingling that’s felt on the skin and scalp after certain stimuli. The phenomenon gained a huge online following after someone asked the internet about “head orgasms” back in 2007. All of a sudden, people like me were realizing they weren’t alone in their tingling—and wanted to know more about what made them feel great.

Fans quickly took to YouTube, posting videos of mock physicals, face massages, and even crinkling potato chip bags—all intended to trigger the zombie-like relaxation that comes with what became known as ASMR. While the sensation itself is still clouded in mystery (no one knows why some people are triggered and some aren’t), experts now say that for those who experience it, it can be as powerful a tool as meditation. To wit: New research from Sheffield University, published in June in the journal PLOS One, found that ASMR was associated with reduced heart rate and increased skin conductance levels (a fancy term for physical arousal that’s linked with better attention and memory). The researchers determined that ASMR is, in fact, a physiological experience that could have therapeutic benefits for mental and physical health—with the potential to minimize depression, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain.

Unfashionably late to this particular party, I first read about ASMR in a Sunday New York Times this past February. In an article titled “The Currency of a Relaxing Sound or Tingle,” reporter Andrea Marks described a therapeutic, interactive theatrical experience where participants played passive roles in scenes including “sitting at a table while someone crinkles paper in your ears, visiting a ‘doctor’s office,’ having your face stroked with makeup brushes, and a hair-brushing encounter.” (Insert brain-exploding emoji here.) The Brooklyn pop-up performance was orchestrated by San Francisco's Whisperlodge—an immersive traveling show that curates intimate, one-on-one ASMR experiences for audiences that usually emerge from the quiet cocoon in a zen-like haze.

“There’s a tangible benefit you can feel in your body after you exit our performance, but we haven’t been able to back it up with science until now,” Whisperlodge co-creator Melinda Lauw says of the University of Sheffield findings. It’s similar to meditation, she says, because “it’s about paying attention—to small sounds and sensations. You become super quiet and aware.”

See also Rx Meditation: Headspace's New Prescription Strategy Could Change the Way We All Meditate

Down the ASMR Meditation Rabbit Hole

As someone who’s struggled diligently for years to achieve euphoria through meditation, I wanted to see what would happen if I subbed a daily ASMR YouTube video for my regular meditation practice. The first one I launched was called “Taps for Your Naps,” created by ASMR darling Maria (she prefers not to reveal her last name), the personality behind popular YouTube channel Gentle Whispering ASMR.

After you skip an advertisement, tourmaline-looking gemstones fill the screen. They line a plastic sheet of paper like stars on an American flag, and a pink-and-white manicure atop ten flittering fingers tenderly strokes each row, producing tingle-inducing little tapping sounds with each stroke. There it is. That inexplicably warm, all-encompassing feeling engulfs my skull like a message shampoo. My limbs sink a little deeper into my couch cushions as I slowly exhaust the “Up Next” queue.

Your Brain on ASMR

But what is it about soft sounds and borderline-creepy caregiver videos that make some of us—an estimated 20 percent of the population—melt into our mattresses? More neurological research is needed to know for sure, but biopharmaceutical sciences professor Craig Richard, PhD, author of the forthcoming book Brain Tingles: the Secret to Triggering Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response for Improved Sleep, Stress Relief, and Head-to-Toe Euphoria and co-founder of the ASMR Research Project, thinks it’s a genetic response that’s designed to help us feel relaxed, mitigating stress hormones and promoting overall health in the process. “Almost all of our biological functions and reactions are to our benefit,” he says. “So why have we evolved? Why might this be?”

The answer may be in the basic way primates soothe their offspring, he says. How a mother coos and nurtures her fussy babe: She hushes her tone, offers a caring gaze and a gentle touch, conveying with every molecule that It’s alright. You’re OK. “That’s what these videos are doing,” says Richard. “They’re sending a signal to viewers that they’re safe and cared for in a non-threatening way. When a child scrapes his knee, it’s hugging; it’s lowering your voice; it’s focused personal attention. Our brains are hardwired for patterned recognition of those stimuli.” Most likely, certain brain chemicals are at play, Richard says. Research has shown that when a parent soothes an infant, or a teacher comforts an unhappy child, a “brain cocktail” of endorphins, oxytocin (love hormone), dopamine, serotonin (happiness hormone), GABA (relaxation and sleepiness stimulator), and melatonin (sleep hormone) are released, which probably work together to evoke ASMR.

If our brains are primed to feel good when we’re pampered, why is it that we all don’t bliss-out watching Bob Ross paint on PBS (a common ASMR trigger)? It’s likely that a genetic mutation is responsible, says Richard.

We can think of ASMR like the mirror image of a panic attack, he says—an extreme negative reaction to an event or experience. Most of us might get agitated on a crowded subway platform, but fewer of us are apt to feel faint. “We know about phobias and anxiety,” he says, (genetics play a role in both). “But there was no word for the opposite—the other extreme, where people are highly relaxed by certain stimuli.” That is, of course, until ASMR earned its title.

It’s still a new frontier. Richard and Lauw hope forthcoming studies will prove ASMR’s potential health benefits by comparing blood pressure, cortisol levels, and brain scans of people experiencing ASMR against control groups. Anecdotally, devotees already claim that ASMR has helped them overcome anxiety, insomnia, drug addiction, and PTSD.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

You can access ASMR on YouTube in the comfort of your own home.

ASMR and yoga—and me

On a Friday afternoon, a week into my ASMR experiment, I propped up on my sunroom sofa to try out a new (to me) YouTube ASMRtist. I had plans to meet a friend at 5 o’clock. But at 4:47, there I remained, limp-limbed on the couch while a 40-something redhead performed “skin treatments” into the camera—wafting essential oils in front of “my nose” and encouraging me, in a British accent, to “take deep, slow breaths.” I couldn’t move—let alone call a Lyft. Like sinking deep into Savasana (Corpse Pose) at the end of a restorative yoga class, all desire to re-enter the so-called real world had diminished. In this moment, it dawned on me that I’d been experiencing ASMR in my favorite yoga classes all along.

Richard says that yoga classes that incorporate ASMR are a no-brainer, although as founder of ASMRUniversity.com, he may be biased. Not unlike the intimate in-person experiences curated by Whisper Lodge, he says, yoga classes try to foster safe environments where one can relax and make room for self-nurturing. To this end, Kim, a New Zealand yogi and ASMRtist (who goes by the moniker Miss Synchronicity and like most ASMRtists, chooses to keep her last name private), has integrated yoga into some of her ASMR videos, and her audience loves it. She’s not alone: More and more instructional yoga videos are popping up on YouTube that incorporate ASMR triggers like whispering, tapping sounds, and pretend pampering. “Just like ASMR, yoga brings together the body and mind, expressing relaxation and mindfulness through the breath,” she says.

I can vouch for this. After my daily ASMR sessions, I find myself breathing deeper, moving slower, staying more in the moment, and feeling less attached to future results and outcomes. This new-found chill can last from 30 minutes to a couple of hours.

And the best part for me? Unlike my oft-failed attempts at getting present through meditation, ASMR works every time.

See also A One-Strap Restorative Yoga Sequence for Self-Care

About the Author Lindsay Tucker is a senior editor at Yoga Journal.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

[hbldr-blog]

gettingup

I have a name, a head filled with ideas, a face, and hands to type with. I'm a writer, or at least I like to think so. One day I want to tell stories through some visual medium but I mostly just laze around. It really erks me. I love to move and I love to talk; it's my favorite thing to do in the world.

Depending on when I sleep or if I sleep I usually wake up at about noon, maybe early afternoon. When I wake up I usually don't think. Some people say their first thoughts are usually reflections of who they are; the lens they put on before observing the outside world. I tend to just lay there, wondering blankly. Eventually something crosses my mind: ‘What should I do first?’ And almost every time I look at my phone.

I'll be frank, I hate looking at it. When it's off the screen becomes a mirror... a sort of humbling reminder. I'm obsessed with recognition, be it fantasies of being interviewed for a film or comic, or a person smiling fondly at me as if my presence made their day. As shallow and naive as that might sound, I like to think pretty strangers will miraculously greet me via text hoping I have a good day.

Hello Good morning! Heyyy

Nothing. Sometimes I'll get a text from my mom, or from one of my writing friends about an idea they’ve been working on. I usually ignore them. I probably shouldn't. They're very good to me. After spending half an hour lounging in bed, I start thinking about creative ways to kill myself. Sometimes for a couple of seconds... another couple of seconds. Feels more like minutes that feel like hours.

I look at the time, see that I've slept for half the day, and leave my room for the bathroom. I turn on the shower, sit on the toilet, and try to number two, but my ass appears to still be asleep. I get back up and turn off the shower, remembering that I shouldn't waste hot water. My family hates it when I do. I go back on the toilet, and try to squeeze one out but again, my ass is napping.

I go back on my phone and check Instagram, Snapchat, Messenger, and last but not least, Reddit. No notifications. Nothing out of the ordinary. I scroll through, running into pictures of exes or girls I've tried to hook up with. They're almost always smiling, enjoying life. The irrational part of my brain starts seeing this as a mocking gesture. “They don't need you,” my brain says.”They never did.”

Almost immediately my head starts playing “For No One” by The Beatles. The suicidal thoughts come back, my ass wakes up, I shit. I get up without wiping my ass thinking ‘eh, I can clean it in the shower.’ I turn on the shower, strip my clothes, and hop in. It's kind of hot so I stand to the side and wait to get used to it. I get used to it. I grab my phone, still in the shower, open up Chrome incognito mode, and masturbate. Sometimes I finish, sometimes I don’t. I used to wrestle. I learned that when you take a shower, you wash your head and hair first before your body. When you do the reverse, the gunk from your head and hair trickle down towards your body and you get ringworm and you can’t wrestle. I liked wrestling.

I get out of the shower and look for a towel. Takes about 3 seconds to realize I forgot my towel and I have to air dry. I could just get out and grab a towel. I'd dry quicker and get along with my day, but I just took a hot shower and I'm afraid of the cold air outside. It’s cool relative to my body heat which means it really isn't that cold; I'm just a lazy coward. I look at my phone: Instagram, Snapchat, Messenger, Reddit. In that order, always in that order. 

Nothing. 

I put it down. I grab a random toothbrush...usually the cleanest one. I proceed to brush my teeth; I do it in circles. When I was small I heard doing it that way is better than going up and down so I do it in circles. After I brush my teeth I rinse with water and mouthwash. I don't floss. I haven't flossed in years. I should probably floss...every time I spit after I brush my teeth I see blood. That's probably not good. 

I look up at the mirror and it’s fogged up. I wipe it. I see my eyes and the bridge of my nose. I wipe at the mirror more; now I can see my whole body. I'm not happy at what I see. I am this strange combo of skinny and fat. Skinny-fat, if you will. Worse than both skinny and fat because at least when you're fat you have a sort of circular shape. You're not tricking anybody. Everyone knows you're fat and that's okay, but when you're skinny fat you're deceiving people. Now you're not just out of shape but you're also a liar. No one likes a liar. 

 I hear banging on my bedroom door. I hear it open, then I hear the footsteps of someone coming to the bathroom, then more knocking. “Yo, you almost out?”I reply “Yeah, almost.”I'm lying, of course. I'm either going to shit or jerk off again... or both. Or get distracted by my phone again. “Okay, well you've been there for three hours, so come on. Other people gotta use it too.” It's already three. That whole morning ritual took three hours. By then I'm already dry. I try to shit again--successfully, I might add. I decide to finally leave the bathroom.

My phone goes off.I think it's a job.Or maybe some stranger who's interested in talking to me. 

Or that cute girl who I texted about poetry that never got back to me.

Or that other cute girl who I text on a regular basis but always seems aloof.

Or that other girl who doesn't seem to want to leave me alone.

Or that other cute girl who I see in my head sometimes when I’m alone and content or masturbating.I look.

 It's my mom. 

“Get out of the fucking shower”

I've been out for at least 4 minutes, I ignore it and go to my room to get dressed, put deodorant on, and do my hair. I can never get it right. There's always something wrong about it and I don't know what it is. Maybe it’s swooshed the wrong way, or I’m not using the right pomade. Maybe my hair is just bad. I get my hoodie and pjs on. I sit on my bed and look at my phone but I'm not focused on my phone. I'm stuck in thought, this time not about suicide or what I'm going to jerk off to but what I've been doing with my life. I've been doing the same routine for a year.

I wanted to be a writer.

I wanted to make film.

I wanted to be a storyteller.

What am I doing? I'm twenty years old and I'm idle. I get a notification from one of my writing friends. He tells me he has this great idea he wants to talk about. I respond with “I don't feel good, I'm sorry.” He's going to school for what we both want to do and I always feel like he's miles away from me, literally and metaphorically. I look back at my phone. It’s fallen asleep. I unlock it and it opens up to Instagram. It's a picture of a girl I've never met. She's showing her cleavage. I think to myself “That's fucking trashy.” I close out of Instagram, go to Google Chrome, go to incognito mode.

I start browsing for what I want to watch. I'm picky. But before anything can happen I hear heavy footsteps rushing towards my room. After about two seconds my brother barges through the door. My erection is hidden. I change tabs.

“Yo, can I show you my song? I need critiques.”

I get annoyed. I tell him “It's not a good time. Come back in a couple minutes.”

He starts making for the door. I feel bad. I tell him “Never mind, show me anyway.” He shows me. It's decent besides the horrible piano. I tell him “It's decent besides the horrible piano.”

He says “Thanks, how about the vocals?” He always asks about the vocals.

I tell him “They're fine.”

He nods his head, thanks me, and leaves. I lock my door, change tabs, drop my pants, and resume.

Cheating stuff, for some reason today was cheating stuff. It felt weird. I start video hopping. It's great. I land on a video with a redhead. It reminds me of my ex. I close the tab. I pull my pants up. I can't finish. I lay on my bed. I start to sweat. I turn the A/C on. I start to think about what she's doing... if she's seeing another guy... what they might be doing. The suicidal thoughts start coming back. I start thinking about myself and why I'm so stagnant. My throat gets tight and I start breathing heavily through my nose.

I wanted to be a writer.

I wanted to be a director.

I wanted to tell stories.

What am I doing?

My stomach rumbles but I don't eat.

I open my laptop.

I open a word document.

I stare at it...

I close it and get something to eat.

I open my laptop.

I open a word document.

I stare at it...

I start browsing Reddit.

I start browsing porn.

I finish.

I close my laptop.

I look out the window.

It's dark.

I open my laptop.

I browse Netflix

Find a show about horses or something.

I like it.

I grab more food,

I watch more Netflix.

The show starts getting into very heavy emotional stuff I wasn't ready for.

The outro to the show gets into my head.

I really like the show.

It starts getting deeper and heavier emotionally.

I stop watching it.

I start thinking about myself again.

I wanted to be a writer.

I wanted to make film.

I wanted to be a storyteller.

I start rubbing my head obsessively.

The more I rub my head the more I feel like an anthropomorphic horse.

The shows outro takes the place of The Beatles’ “ For No One.”

I try to go to bed. I feel my eyes start to water, which means I'm about to have an episode and cry myself to sleep. That’s good because it means I'm going to pass out, except that I don't.

I just weep.

I open my laptop to play some ASMR to help me sleep. Whispering helps me sleep.

It doesn’t this time.

There is something wrong with me.

I open word document.

I stare at it...

I begin to type.

Not looking at what I write...

But rather just writing.

I stop.

I read it.

It’s horrible.

I resume.

I think to myself “What am I doing?”

I stop.

I think.

I am a writer.

I am going to be a filmmaker.

I am a storyteller.

and I resume.

#writers #my writing #amwriting #mywana #idontknowwhatelsetosay #fiction #tw: sucide mention #bobaso #hturtehtllettnacI #long post

[dottielovegood]

ASMR

Elriel Fanfic. Read here on AO3

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

I was thinking about Elain's gift to Azriel for Solstice and how she would help him sleep if they were just regular people in our modern-day world. And thus, this chapter was born. I haven't really decided if this will just be a one shot or if I will continue with a few more chapters. Please tell me if you want more.

------------------------

Azriel couldn’t sleep.

It wasn’t a new occurrence. Sleep rarely found him, and when it did, it was tainted by nightmares. Ever since his childhood, sleep had been a battle. Other people talked about how much they loved sleeping, and how they might spend an entire weekend in bed, just sleeping. Azriel always nodded when he heard people say such things, but he never understood them. If he could, Azriel would skip sleep altogether. If he could, he would just keep going without rest.

But to his dismay, his body did not agree. It needed sleep. His traitorous body needed the thing he hated the most. This had led to Azriel trying anything and everything to fall asleep. He had tried working out for hours before bed. He had tried tea that was supposed to make you sleepy. He had tried calming music and meditation. Nothing had worked. He still woke up after an hour, covered in sweat. When he had become really desperate, he had tried medication (which made him feel like a zombie the next day) and weed (he hated it. It made him feel sick.)

He had almost given up at this point. He was in his late twenties and had come to accept his fate as an insomniac with horrid nightmares.

But maybe his fate would change tonight?

It was in the middle of the night and Azriel was browsing Youtube, as he so often did. He had started with an interview of one of his favorite musicians, and then he had clicked on a recommended video, and all of a sudden he was down the rabbit hole. He was just about to give up when he found himself watching a video about how to grow a micro garden (he had no interest in micro gardens, so he had no idea how he ended up there). He was just about to click off when a thumbnail of a different video caught his eye.

The small picture showed him a young woman in a lilac top. Her hair was the color of dark honey and she had some small freckles across her nose. But it was her eyes that drew him in. They were a light brown color, and he would probably describe them as doe-eyes. Big and beautiful and innocent. And kind. She looked so kind.

He clicked the video without reading the title. He needed to see more of this girl.

The video started with her sitting very close to the camera. There was a microphone in front of her and she leaned in close and whispered “Hello my lovelies, lovelies, lovelies. Welcome back to my channel.” The girl paused and moved her hands in front of the camera. “Tonight’s video will be personal attention and hand movements.” Her voice was soft, almost angelic.

He didn’t know what he expected to see when he clicked the video, but it wasn’t this. Azriel had no idea what he was watching, but he couldn’t stop.

The girl on the video picked up a hairbrush and started tapping the back of it with her nails. “I am going to brush your hair,” she whispered into the microphone, and Azriel could feel himself relax as she started to move the brush in front of the camera. She had added a background sound that actually made it sound as if she was brushing someone’s hair. “Does that feel good?” she asked into the microphone. Her eyes never left the camera and it felt as if she was staring into Azriel’s soul. She continued the brushing while whispering affirmations into the microphone. Azriel felt a tingling sensation that started in his neck and traveled down his back. He had no idea what this girl was doing to him, but he wanted more. He glanced at the channel name: Flower Girl ASMR.

He made a mental note to google what ASMR was when the video was finished.

He did feel a bit weird watching this though. He was just watching this girl whisper sweet things into her microphone, and it felt as if she was whispering them into his ears. She had finished the brushing and was now giving him a face massage. He knew that it was weird. He knew that his friends would laugh their asses off if they found out that he had been watching this video. Luckily, they would never find out.

Flower Girl ASMR moved her hands slowly in front of the camera in small circular motions. She smiled gently at the camera and he could feel himself smile back. He actually smiled at his phone. God, what was this video? Witchcraft?

“If you like my content, you can subscribe to my Patreon,” she whispered halfway through the video. “For only five, five, five dollars a month, you get access to hundreds of videos, and I post five new videos every week that are exclusive to my patreons.”

Never in his life had Azriel wanted to subscribe to someone’s Patreon, but he could make an exception for this girl.

While having her soft voice in his ears, he decided to scroll the comments.

Most of the comments were nice enough, telling her that she made them feel relaxed and helped them sleep. Was that what she did? Did she help people sleep?

Azriel didn’t really believe that anyone could help him at this point, but he had to admit that he did feel relaxed.

He continued scrolling, and almost wished he hadn’t. Among all of the sweet comments, there were some assholes that made his blood boil.

HybernCoolKid 4 days ago Pretty girl, but you could show more boobs. N00ds on patreon? OF?

Amarantha_utm 7 days ago Boring af

LucienV   6 days ago Just subscribed to your patreon! I love watching you every night when I fall asleep. I always wish that I will dream about you <3 ily

LucienV 5 days ago You are so pretty. Can you please make a video with kissing sounds?

MortalGraysen 4 days ago People only subscribe to you bc you’re pretty. I mean ngl I only watch your videos to look at that pretty face while I jerk off.

Azriel curled his hands into fists to keep himself from replying to every single weird comment on this video. Didn’t she moderate her comments? She could easily block words from appearing in her comment section. Why didn’t she?

The internet was full of creeps, which he was well aware of since he worked in IT. He had moderated many comment sections in his life, and people never ceased to surprise and disgust him. But he couldn’t understand why people would comment such things on this lovely girl’s video. She was obviously just trying to help people.

He shook his head in disbelief and clicked away from the comments.

The video soon ended, and another one started automatically.

In this video, the pretty girl was sitting in front of a wall covered in flowers. The microphone was still in front of her and she was using a make-up brush on the microphone. It made a swooshing sound, and Azriel could feel that tingling sensation again. He put his phone on his chest and relaxed on his bed. The swooshing sound of the brush combined with her sweet whispers made his entire body feel good. He thought to himself that he should subscribe to her channel, but before he knew it, he was drifting off.

Slowly, he fell asleep and no nightmares plagued him that night.

Azriel jolted awake to the sound of his alarm. Sleepily, he found himself cradling his phone. His air pods had fallen out of his ears during the night and he found one under his pillow and the other one on the floor.

He was sleepy, but also...rested?

He couldn’t even remember what it felt like to sleep for hours without waking up to nightmares and anxiety. Was this what normal people felt like every day? No wonder they loved sleeping so much.

Azriel picked up his phone and walked out to his kitchen to make some breakfast. While he waited for the coffee machine to brew his coffee, he leaned against the counter and clicked the YouTube icon on his phone. He searched for “Flower Girl ASMR”. Video after video with her beautiful face appeared on his screen. He clicked on one of the videos he had watched last night and decided to leave a comment. He usually never left comments on videos, but there was just something about her…

Shadowsinger 3 minutes ago I have no idea what ASMR means, but this video put me to sleep last night. I can’t remember the last time I had hours of uninterrupted sleep. Thank you!

He then clicked the link to her Patreon and subscribed to her there. It will be the best five dollars a month ever spent , he thought to himself as he poured coffee into his favorite cup.

Today was going to be a good day, all thanks to Flower Girl ASMR.

#elriel #azriel x elain #azriel #elain archeron #acotar #acotar fanfiction #elriel fanfic

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you feel guilty? if yes, why so? There’s a few things I feel guilty about, but I don’t feel like getting into any of it right now.

Has someone you cared about moved recently? No.

Do you know the band DiscoToTheStars? If you like Nickasaur, NeverShoutNever, shit like that, you should look them up. I’m not familiar with them and I don’t feel like looking them up. I know of NeverShoutNever, but I haven’t listened to them in like a decade.

Are you trying hard in life? No. :/

Do you need to brush your teeth? Not at this moment.

Does your tongue hurt? No.

Where are you?. I’m in my room sitting on my bed.

Are you sad? That’s just who I am, man.

Do you like xbox? I have played one in years.

Do you eat peanut butter? Yeah. I haven’t had any in awhile, though. Now that I think of it it’s probably been a few years. :O

How many fingers do you have? 10. I’m not counting thumbs separate.

Will you be mad at me if i don't make this survey very long? Um, no. I’ll be fine.

Does your tummy hurt? Not at the moment.

Who do you sit with at lunch? I’m not in school. I rarely have lunch these days, but if I do I’m either eating in bed or with my mom. 

Were you wrong all along? Yep. 

Tell me a story about a stupid kid. : Uh, what?

Have you seen "Ferrets" on YouTube?. No.

I fucking hate Rihanna, do you? No. I don’t have anything against her as a person and I like a lot of her songs.

Are you the only person awake right now? In my house, yes.

Do you feel alone? Sometimes. Not so much physically, though sometimes, but more so in other ways.

Are you itchy? No.

Do you need to wash your face? No.

Do you want animals when you grow up? . I’ve had a pet(s) throughout my life. I currently have my 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia.

Do you have an annoying old grandmother? No. I had a great relationship with both my grandmothers, but sadly my maternal grandmother passed away over a decade ago. She and I were really close. My paternal grandmother is still in my life and she’s very sweet and loving.

What year are you taking this? Good ol’ 2020....  -______-

Do you think the world will end in 2012? We’re still here in 2020, but barely.

What's your name? Stephanie.

Are you eating chicken? No. I’m not eating anything at the moment.

Do you like llamas? I LOVE LLAMAS! Sure.

Do you have pubic hair? Casually just throw this in among random questions about chicken, llamas, and ice cream. Okay then.

What's your favorite flavor ice-cream? Strawberry. I’ve answered this quite a bit lately. 

Have you made a survey before? Once, several years ago. I wish I could find it, but it was on Xanga. :(

What's the nearest rainbow object around you? I don’t have any.

Do you have a phone? i don't. Yes.

Do you like the new Myspace? Damn, this is old.

Who are you dating? Wanna tell me about them? I’m single. 

How would you like to kill someone? Um, I wouldn’t wtf. Should I be worried about you, survey maker?

Do you like to wear clothes? Yes. I don’t like being naked, I feel so uncomfortable. 

When's the last time you pooped? You are quite weird.

Are you wearing armpit perfume? Can i sniff? What did I get myself into...

Are you happy? No.

Pencils or markers? Uh, depends?

Do you draw, or sing? Nope.

Don't you hate hangnails? They’re the worst.

What kind of surveys do you like? Long with interesting and random questions. This one is a little too much at times, though.

Have you ever gave someone a hand/blow job? Received one? No.

Did it snow for you on Christmas? It doesn’t snow here. :(

What's the date? Sunday, October 25th, 2020.

Do you feel like a stalker? No, cause I’m not one.

What's worse? Getting a boner or your period in the middle of class? Both would likely be uncomfortable and embarrassing, I’m sure.

Do you read FML, MLIA, OMGFACTS, etc? I used to frequent FML and OMGFACTS back in the day.

Wanna Fuck? No, I’m good.

What's up? I’m listening to an ASMR video and trying to get through this survey.

Are you hungry? No, I ate like an hour ago.

What's your worst fear? Losing my loved ones, dying, getting worse/never getting better, never doing anything with my life... stuff like that. 

What's your favorite pattern? Plaid.

Ever seen a blue waffle? No, but then again I don’t often eat waffles, either. You’d just add food coloring, no? <<< Sadly, that’s not what it is. :X I hate that I know that.

Do you shop at Hot Topic? Yeah. I get majority of my graphic tees from there and their sister store, Boxlunch. 

What's your favorite song? I have numerous favorite songs.

How long is your penis? I don’t have one. Wow, a survey that actually didn’t assume the one taking it was female.

Do your boobs hang low? No. 

Do you ever replace the lyrics in songs to make them inappropriate? No, but I do the opposite of that.

Do you like the band Three Days Grace? Yeah.

I hate the new Gatorade shit, do you? Not sure what new Gatorade “shit” you were referring to.

Do you like ranting? I don’t like it, but it helps to do it sometimes. I like to save them for surveys and Twitter, ha.

Do you like pooping? Sigh.

Are you single? Yes.

So, i'm guessing your bored? Nope.

Do you go out to eat today? I’m not going anywhere today.

Have you ever thought about how the questions asked in a survey might reflect on what happened in the person asking’s life? Yes. I’ve definitely found myself thinking that during this survey.

Do you have fingernails? Yes. Barely, ha.

What's your opinion on Miley Cyrus? I don’t have an issue with her and I like some of her songs.

Do you know who Destry Moore is? Nope.

Can i have your number? Sure, it’s 555-5555. 

Do you know anyone nicknamed Booger? No. Reminds me of that movie, Revenge of the Nerds.

Am i entertaining you? I’m over this survey to be honest.

What's your gender? Female.

What did you call your privates when you were little?

Have you ever named a penis? Do you have a penis? There’s still a lot left to this survey and I’m over it omg.

What's your favorite smiley face? :)

Have you ever worn silly bands? Yeah.

Do you cut yourself? No.

Need a friend? We could be friends. No thank you. 

is this survey getting to long for you? Yes. What's your favorite name? Alexander.

What's your current mood? Tired and blah.

How loud do you like your music? I don’t like it blaring, just a comfortable level to enjoy it. Some may be a little louder than others.

Do you like toast? Sure.

Do you like the band "A Day To Remember" ? I’m familiar with them, but I can’t think of a song of theirs.

Do you have AIDS ? No. Wow, you’re quite invasive.

Are you awkward? Pfft, awkward is my middle name. <<< Saaaame.

Can you joke about rape? Wowww. What's your favorite type of drink? Mine is monster. Coffee and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drnk.

What kind of heart do you make on the computer? <3

Does blood interest you? Nooo. I’m too squeamish and it makes me feel faint. 

Have you realized that there are enough surveys on here for you to never be bored? Well, I’ve been doing them for like 15 years, so I guess so. Although, I’m sure a lot are repeats. And the questions are sure repetitive. 

Do you have a laptop? Yes, which is what I’m on.

Do you have good eye sight? With my glasses on.

How many burnt cds do you have? None anymore. I used to have a ton. I loved making them.

Are you good at English? Yes.

Do you like bands like BrokenCYDE and Blood on the Dance Floor? Never heard of ‘em.

Do you have a favorite movie? I have many. Color? Pastels, rose gold, mint green, coral, and yellow.

Number? Eight.

Have you ever seen a penis? Mhm.

Are you bi-sexual? No.

What do you think about gay people? Um, I think they’re people who are attracted to the same gender. 

Do you believe in God? I do.

Do you like snoop dog? I’ve liked a few songs of his.

Are you horny? No.

Do you like ham? I like oven baked ham with gravy, but not deli ham. I’m weird, I know.

Does Stacyes mom, really have it going on? To him she did.

Do you have dandruff? Not so much anymore. I did when I was younger.

When your watching a video, does it bother if you can see the cursor? I’d likely move it.

is your computer slow? : No.

Do you miss your boyfriend? I’m single.

Do you have toes? Yes.

Are you fucking sick? I'm fucking sick. I’m not feeling well.

Do you want to puke? No.

What color are your knees? The color of my skin.

Are what age did you realize that knees was spelt with a k? I can’t exactly pinpoint the time.

Do you like twist ties? They can be useful.

Do you trust a hoe? I know this is a 3OH!3 reference. I can tell by your vibe.

Are you a vegetarian? Nope.

Will you forgive me for not being able to spell? I don’t care, man. 

TV or Youtube? I like both. I do watch quite a bit of YouTube, though.

Do you live with your grandparents? No. 

Do you hate your family? Nooo. I love my family.

Do you like applesauce? Sure. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had any, though.

is Bzoink the only survey site you can find on the internet? I never use Bzoink to find surveys. I get majority from others on here, but occasionally I’ll go to LiveJournal. I haven’t had to do that in awhile, though.

Do you use smiley faces? Yeah. I don’t go crazy with them, but I use them as I see fit.

Do you like TECHNO?!!?!?!?!?!!??!!!?!?! Not sure why you typed it that way, but nah.

Are you a retarded seal? I hope you’ve grown up and educated yourself since making this survey.

Are you sexy? Nope.

#barely made it through this one ya'll its... out there #I was too far in to quit lol #personal #text #survey #surveys

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you have a pair of Beat headphones? Yeah, I have the wireless black ones.

How was your week? Ugh, I’ve had a bad pain flareup this week. 

Are any of your electronics not working properly at the moment? My phone has been acting up for the past month. It starts to get warm pretty fast when I’m on YouTube, which crashes a lot for me lately despite my phone and app being up to date on the updates. The battery has been dying a lot faster. It’s also been laggy. I have the iPhone XR, which is considered old now. It was working perfectly fine up until the past month, though.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I don’t plan on getting married.

When was the last time you felt relieved? Hm. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? No, I wouldn’t say that. Some covers and remixes are good.

What brand of chapstick do you use? EOS or Vaseline. 

Do you really think someone could be perfect? Nope.

When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.

What’s a food that you like every once in awhile but not often? I’m not as into Mexican food as I once was, but I still like to have it now and then. 

What letter is the song you’re listening to under? I’m not listening to music right now. If I’m doing a survey, just assume I’m listening to an ASMR video.

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? I guess the 70s.

Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? From certain people. 

Do your socks say anything on them? They say, “Adidas.”

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. MTV.

Have you found out who your true friends are? I don’t have any friends.

Gray or Grey? Gray is the American spelling, but I honestly prefer “grey.”

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? No. Who knows when I’ll attend a concert again. It’s been over 10 years since my last concert, so I can’t even blame covid. I hope to attend one again, though. I miss ‘em.

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? Yeah, I liked it.

Is there something you’d fall apart if you didn’t have? My loved ones.

How many weddings have you been to? Three.

When you smile, are you confident? No. 

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yesss, all the time. I’ve always been all about following the rules and I’ve never seen the appeal in breaking them. That makes me sound boring but at least I’ve never gotten in serious trouble lol. <<<

Was the weather beautiful today? I’m really upset that we’re having 90 F still when it’s OCTOBER. Summer just won’t go away. D:

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yep. During the summer months and even still cause California summers are miserably long, I have 3 fans going at all times. When it finally cools down I can go down to one. We’ve had some especially cold winters (for us) some years and during those I didn’t need any fans.  Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? I guess out of those I’d choose gray. I’d really not have any of those, though.

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? Nah.

Have you ever gone to a private school? Yes. Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? No, but I do like it.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? My preschool did.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? It’s on TV Land currently. The Golden Girls is on.

Does your house have security cameras? Yes.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? No. I don’t care much for popsicles. I’m not even a big ice cream person in general, but if I wanted something like that I’d go for ice cream over a popsicle.

What’s your favorite exercise workout? I don’t workout.

What’s your favorite thing to do? I like to do my Bible studies, spend time with family, check my social medias (TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat), watch YouTube videos, watch TV, scroll through Tumblr, do surveys, read, play Animal Crossing: New Horizons, drink coffee, sleep... there’s other things, but those are things I do on a normal, everyday basis.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? Wow, I really don’t recall. Probably just something small with the fam.

Does your local Walmart have benches in them to rest? Yeah.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? No. I had a lot of stuffed animals as a kid, but I didn’t really have a particular favorite. Now, as a full grown adult, I have a shitload of giraffe stuffed animals and a few others and I love ‘em all.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? If it was like legit crazy weird stuff happening like the movies then we’d be moving asap lol. It wouldn’t be like every movie where somebody is like, “oh it’s fine, we’re not going anywhere” but things were definitely not fine.

Are you good at swimming? No, I can’t swim. If I actually go swimming, which is not something I care to do and it’s been almost 10 years now since the last time, I have to use a inner tube and I stay close to the edges, not venturing very far away at all. When I was a kid I had those little plastic or inflatable pools that didn’t fill up very high so I was okay in those and actually enjoyed it.

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet drives me insane. People walking slowly in front of me is quite annoying, though, especially as someone in a wheelchair. Especially people who abruptly stop in front of me. 

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Play and use me. 

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Well, my bed always stays made. I sleep and sit on top and just use a throw blanket that I keep to the side.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? ASMR videos can help me get sleepy, but I can’t really do anything to fall asleep faster. It happens when it happens.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? No. I always have a bottle(s) nearby on my bedside table, though.

Are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It is a fear of mine.

Are you a fast or slow walker? I don’t feel I wheel fast normally, but I guess compared to the average walking speed it might be considered fast. 

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? I never wear a belt.

Does it bother you when people’s underwear hangs out? It’s awkward for me cause I’m often at the level of most people’s behinds in my wheelchair.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? No. 

When’s your birthday? July 28th.

What age do you look forward to reaching? I’m 31 now, there aren’t anymore exciting milestones. Not to me, anyway.

Name a state that begins with the letter M. Massachusetts. 

What’s the first thing you do after a car accident? I’ve never been in one, thankfully.

What do you use to get rid of bad breath? Brush my teeth.

What exercise do you hate the most? I don’t exercise.

What do you do at a party? I haven’t been to a party in years, and didn’t go to many anyway, but I was always one who clung to the people I knew and was closest to and just chilled and snacked haha. The parties I went to were more lowkey and chill, though. Never anything wild or crazy. My family get togethers were often quite big, but I was more comfortable at those. Although, even then I stuck by my mom and the cousins I was close to haha. That’s just how I am.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[lovemesomesurveys]

What do you usually eat for breakfast? Scrambled eggs with spinach and cheese. And coffee, duh. When was the last time you seen your best friend? I see my mom everyday, all the time since we live together. What was the last good movie you watched? I recently rewatched Endgame and Aladdin (the new live action one), both of which are really good. Especially Endgame. Still gets me in the feels. Do you rent movies at a store or on your tv? We sometimes rent from Redbox (the red box thingies with DVDs at grocery stores. I think there’s also Bluebox, too, in some places), but usually we watch on Netflix or rent from Amazon Prime. Have you ever thought about getting Netflix? We’ve had it for years. What do you order on your sundae? I haven’t had a sundae in years, but I liked to just get vanilla ice cream with strawberry syrup. I don’t care for sprinkles. Do you like whipped cream and nuts on it? I like whipped cream and some nuts in general, but I didn’t put either one on my sundaes. *shrug* I’m a simple gal.

How often does your family have cookouts? We did them a lot when I was a kid. My dad used to BBQ quite a bit during the summer and my extended family all got together for BBQs quite often as well. We haven’t done that in years, though.  Does anybody in your family have cancer? My papa and one of my cousins both had skin cancer, but they’re fortunately both in remission.  What is one genre of music you refuse to listen too? I don’t outright refuse any, but I don’t like techno/EDM/Clubhouse music type stuff.  Who is your favorite singer? I don’t have one particular favorite. There are many artists and bands that I enjoy. What is the title of the last book you read? It’s still Burying the Honeysuckle Girls by Emily Carpenter, which has been my answer for months now. I keep meaning to start reading again, but it hasn’t happened, yet. I go through phases where I read a lot and knockout several books and then go awhile without reading at all. I love to read, so I don’t know what my issue is. Do you even read? I do, I just haven’t the last few months.  Is your Bzoink account profile decorated? I don’t have one. If so, what’s the backround of? Do you drink Mcdonalds sweet tea? I used to. I haven’t had it in probably almost 10 years, though.  Do you like melted cheese on your eggs? Yessss. What do you eat on your popcorn? Butter and salt are absolute musts. Also, this one theater I go to has garlic parm seasoning stuff that is SO good. What do you do on a sunny day? I don’t do anything different, I just do them while complaining about being hot and feeling miserable from the heat. I’m not a summer or outdoorsy person.  Do you moisturize everyday? No, but I really should. How long does it take you to get ready for your day? If I’m going somewhere then I just fix my hair (or throw on a hat), brush my teeth, change my clothes, put on deodorant, and put on my shoes. Bam. Done. I very, very rarely bother with makeup anymore or doing anything with my hair other than braid it, put it in a pony tail, throw a hat/beanie on.  Do you ever have lazy days? Everyday? But honestly, it’s more that I don’t have energy or motivation to do much of anything. I own up to the fact that I can be lazy, but that’s not the main reason. It seems like laziness on the surface, but it’s deeper than that.  Is your bedroom clean right now? It’s a little cluttery right now and it’s driving me nuts. I need to find the energy and motivation to clean up a bit and get rid of some stuff. That’s my main issue with my room I just have too much stuff and not enough space for it. What is one simple word that you usually can never spell? I don’t know if it’s considered “simple”, but for some reason I can’t ever get “omnepoenia” on the first try. <<< That’s my attempt and it’s way off lol. “Onomatopoeia“ is how you spell it. I don’t know why I can’t seem to remember that. I guess maybe because it’s a word I never use except for when I’m asked this question, ha.  Do you flip the pillow over for the cold side? Yeah. Do you always have to sleep with a blanket? I haven’t used a blanket most of this summer.  What are some things you do before you go to bed? Listen to ASMR and do some surveys. Do you like late night phone conversations? I don’t like talking on the phone at all. Does your room have a blacklight? No. What color are your walls? White. Do you heat up your syrup when you have pancakes or do you like it cold? I just pour it right from the bottle. It doesn’t taste cold to me, but maybe that’s cause the pancakes are the warm. What do ever add anything to your pancakes/waffles? Just butter and syrup. What is your favorite candle scent? Autumnal ones. Are you on any types of medication right now? Just a pain medication.  Have you ever suffered from depression? I do suffer from depression and have since I was about 12 or 13. It’s definitely been at its absolute worst these past 4 years. On average, how many surveys do you think you take a day? A lot. haha. Ya’ll already know. Does your town have flea markets? Yeah. What is your favorite sport? None. Do you like to talk on the phone? Nope. Who do you text the most? I rarely text at all, but when I do it’s with one of my parents or my brother. Are you out of school yet? I graduated college back in 2015. Are you watching anybody graduate this year? No. What are your school colors? What makes you smile more than anything? My doggo. If you could change one thing about the past, what would you change? So many things... If you could only eat one thing every single day what would it be? I’ve had a sandwich everyday for lunch for the past 3 months. Do you like spicy things? I used to be obsessed, but I can’t eat spicy foods anymore. D: Do you ever go to Starbucks? Yeah, pretty often. What is the most expensive thing you own? My laptop. What kind of car do you drive? I don’t drive. How long have you had your license? I don’t have my license.  What grades do you usually get? I got As and Bs. Do you swim or lay out when your at the beach? I just relax and soak it all in. I love just looking out at the ocean or closing my eyes while listening to the waves crash in.  Do you ever get drunk with friends? I used to. I don’t drink anymore, though. It’s been 6 years since the last time. What was the craziest moment of your life? There’s been a few of those moments I’d say. Have you ever spent the night in a hospital? Yeah. I’ve had to stay a few months in the hospital. Is love really that hard to explain? I have a hard time really explaining it. It’s just something I know and feel, but have a hard time putting into words. Describe what your wearing tomorrow: Probably the same thing I’m wearing now, ha. Describe the weather right now. It’s currently 75 F with 12mph winds. If you were having a baby boy, what would you name him? I’m not having children. What is your favorite cuss word? I don’t have a favorite. Do you have a mannnnn? Nope. If so, what’s hiiiis name? Oh by the way, what’s yours? Stephanie. What is on your feet right now? Socks. Do you hate your feet or are they cute? I don’t like them. What does your room look like? It’s a bit cluttery right now. There’s also a lot of giraffe stuffed animals around the room, ha. Do you ever stick your leg out of the blanket when you sleep? I do that with my arms. Do you have any tattoos? Nope. Are you patient or impatient? I’m very impatient.  Everybody has that one friend who really isnt there friend, who is yours? I don’t have any friends. Do you ever hang out with somebody just for a ride? No. What time do you wake up in the morning usually? Lately it’s been 10ish, sometimes 11. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Check the time. Do you eat right away or do you have to wait awhile? No it takes like an hour for me to finally drag myself outta bed for coffee. Then I like to just drink my coffee, read my daily devotional, and check social media for awhile first before I eat.  Who makes you smile, no matter what? My doggo. What do you do when your sad? So what do I do everyday: Tumblr, surveys, watch TV, watch YouTube, check social media, sleep... Reading, coloring, listening to music, and playing my Nintendo Switch get thrown into the mix sometimes as well. Where do you spend most of your time? In my room on my bed. Do you ever watch scary movies by yourself? Yeah. It’s so funny because a few short years ago I would never. Like, I wasn’t even really into scary movies because I was a big scardy cat. That changed in recent years; though, and now I love ‘em.  Do you drink energy drinks? Just Starbucks Doubleshot. Describe what’s on your floor right now. A stack of some medical supplies.  Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a doggo.  If so, what are they doing right now? She’s sleeping on her couch. Is there anybody in the room with you? Nope. Do you like chicken snack wraps from Mcdonalds? I’ve never had one. Do you drink coffee fraps? [yuck] I like frappes, but it’s been awhile since I’ve had one.  Where are you from? California. Have you ever moved? To a different city for a short time when I was a baby, but that’s it. If you mean houses, then I’ve moved like 4 or 5 times, but only once that I’m old enough to remember.  What is your favorite youtube video? I have a lot. ok, 90 questions .. is that enough? Sure. Siiiiike, I foooled you - Can you take a joke? I’m not bothered by the fact there’s not 90 questions so yeah I don’t care. What is your favorite song from the 90’s? I have many. If you could meet any celeb who would it be? Alexander Skarsgard. Which celeb would you like to smack in the face? I don’t want to smack anyone. Lady Gaga : creep or badass Why would she be considered a creep? lol. Anyway, I like some of her music and she seems pretty cool. Do you have a poker face? In certain situations.  Have you ever played texas hold em - If so, did you like it? I’ve never played. What do you do to pass the time when your bored? I’ve already listed recently all the things I do each day and it’s the same whether I’m bored or not. Are you ever bored or are you easily entertained? I get bored, but generally I’m content doing my usual things I do each day. Somedays; though, even those things just don’t cut it and the days seem to drag extra slow and I’m not in the mood to do anything at all. Which friend is most like you? I don’t have any friends. Do you have a lot of things hanging on your wall? I have a few things.  Do you think your pretty or ugly? rate yourself 1-10. I think I’m pretty ugly. ha. Because, you know every guy is looking for a dime piece, right? Not every guy is only concerned with looks.  Was you a ugly kid back then but banging now? I thought I was a cute kid until middle school. HA, I’m definitely not “banging” now. Are you a rude bitter person? I can certainly be bitter. Sometimes I do get short or snippy when I’m in my moody moods, but I wouldn’t say I’m a rude person in general. What color is your house phone? One is white and the other is black. Do you have a answering machine if so, what does it say? Yeah. It’s just one of the automated ones that was already programmed on there. How do you like your toast? Browned, but not burnt, with butter. How many candles are in the room that your in? 4. That’s a lot for someone who never lights candles lol. Does your bedroom have a computer in it? Yep, this laptop right here that I’m on. What color is the computer your using right now? It’s silver with a rose gold protective case. What is your favorite muffin? Banana (without the nut), blueberry, and lemon poppyseed. 

Do you ever drink kool-aid? I did when I was a kid. Do you consider yourself healthy? No.  Do you take all your vitamins daily? No. I’m supposed to... What is something you use everyday besides a bathtub etc? My laptop. How many times do you brush your teeth a day? Once. Do you think you have a pretty smile? No. Are you confident? No. Well, I am pretty confident and this survey is over :) Okay.

#personal #text #survey #surveys