#my dad is still in hospital and this was a good distraction from the worry

[theearnestonion]

I take back anything I have ever said about my parents ever, my mother just saw me in a suit I was asking to wear to church, and she said I looked like a gentleman and I could wear it as long as I didn't wear it with my baseball cap

#ajhdgkslhfjasdglJAHFGAKFHDZJDTSALHFF #MY MOM IS GREAT I TAKE IT ALL BACK #she said gentleman kinda ironically like she was trying to tease me that I looked guy-ish but. whatever close enough right #oh also my dad's in the fucking hospital for a throat infection so that's a thing that's happening #I'm worried but they don't seem to think it's serious so yk. it'll be ok just. aaaagh. #but yes my suit has the mom seal of approval. and the only part of it that isn't menswear is the blazer so I'm very :> #I thought she was gonna be sad. she's not. this is wonderful #I'm doing it now cause I finally have a plain white men's dress shirt to pair with the floral tie and it looks SICK AS FUCK #the pants fit so well so do the shoes #the blazer isn't perfect but it's still good. I hope I can get a men's sport-coat at some point to make it a bit more masc #but yeah. I am very :> #this is successfully distracting me from my dad in the hospital so that's good I guess #he seems ok emotionally?? he's like ''don't worry I'm fine! I'm watching guardians of the galaxy on the tv. it's like a hotel room :)'' #and I'm like ''sir u sound like u swallowed a frog. the abscess is blocking ur pharynx. u'r on IVs. the fuck do you Mean don't worry!?'' #but yeah it's fine everything's fine #edit: yeah everything's ok for real now he's home and on antibiotics so it's all good

[darkbluekies]

Make things right? Or make them worse?

Yandere!doctor (platonic to his children) x twin daughters ocs x female!reader

Summary: Dr Kry’s children finds out their fathers dark secret, and he's determined to silence them.

Warnings: toxic household, yandere, favoritism, guilt, poison, mentions of murder (things along this way)

A/N: I have created my own poison for this story, so I choose the effects. Lol.

Word count: 6.2k

“Bye, dad”, Lydia says and closes the car door.

Her twin follows out of the car, almost hides behind her like a shadow. Lydia frowns confusedly. She’s been more silent than usual this morning. They turn to walk into school.

“Girls”, Dr Kry says through the open car window, catching their attention. “I want you here at three sharp, okay? I’m not in the mood for waiting.”

“Yes, sir”, Lydia answers. 

“Good. Have a good day, girls, I’ll see you later.”

With that said, he drives off. Lydia turns to Nadia who finally raises her gaze from her feet. 

“What’s wrong?” Lydia asks and fixes her backpack. “You’ve been acting off all morning.”

“I have to talk to you about something”, Nadia says hesitantly and looks at her with uneasy eyes. 

Lydia blinked and frowned. “What?”

“I was meaning to talk to you earlier, but I didn’t want to do it when dad was around.” Nadia glanced at the other students swarming around the school grounds. “It’s about mom … and her sickness.”

For as long as they can remember, their mother has been bound to her bed by a rare disease. Thankfully, their father is a remarkable doctor and has been caring for her ever since the twins' birth. He works at a hospital in the city and travels forty minutes back and forth every day, dropping the twins off at school on the way there, and picking them up on the wayback. When they were young, they were put in a private school carefully chosen by their father — who has been very active in the administration.

Their father is a complex person. Although they’ve been by him their entire life, they still feel like they don’t know him. He rarely talks about himself, and seem to have a human side for their mother only. Very rarely, there’s a soft side for the girls … often they’re met by a doctor, rather than a parent. Despite that, Lydia has always been a daddy’s girl, while Nadia has clung to their mom for love and comfort. 

“What about it?” Lydia asks carefully. 

“I heard something …”, Nadia starts and licks her lips nervously. “I heard these noises, from mom and dad’s room-”

“Don’t tell me you heard them have sex”, Lydia grimaces. 

“No …” Nadia shakes her head, eyes shaking. “They were talking. Mom was crying and daad was standing by the bed, holding her cheeks in his hands like this …” She cups her sisters cheeks in demonstration, “...while saying: ‘you’re never going back there, I’ll never share you like that again’.” She shivers. “I-I don’t know what that was, but it made me feel really weird.”

Lydia frowns, trying to picture the scene in front of her. 

“Are you sure that it wasn’t just dad’s weird love language?” she asks carefully. 

“I don’t know”, Nadia sighs defeatedly. “Mom seemed … scared. She looked up at him with eyes full of terror. She could have had a nightmare or something, but dad’s voice- … it was awful. I don’t know how to describe it, but it sounded extremely dark.”

“We could try to ask her.”

“What if dad hears?”

“I could distract him while you ask, if that helps you ease your worry.”

Nadia smiles gratefully. “Thank you, Lyd.”

Lydia gives her an unsure smile and grabs her hand and they walk into school. 

Like Dr Kry had asked them to, they stand by the gates at three sharp. His white car rolls over and the two of them jumps in, Lydia in the front seat and Nadia in the backseat.

“How has your day been?” he asks and drives off. 

He always asks about their classes, teachers and friends. If there’s a small detail he doesn’t like, he makes sure to contact the school and let them know his thoughts. More than one friendship has ended thanks to his overprotectiveness and the twins has learned to dilute the truth enough for him to be able to swallow it. So once again, they answer in the way he wants to hear it. 

The car drives from the city, gets off the highway and enters a countryside road. The dirt road is divided in the middle with grass, creating enough space for the wheels of his white car to roll forward. Here, nothing can be heard except the sounds of distant birds. Their white, edwardian villa is surrounded by a deep, dark forest, close to a gigantic sparkly lake with the closest neighbor being a kilometer away. Despite the isolating upbringing the twins have had, getting away from the noisy, stressful city to the empty forest always cleanse their brains. 

The white, Scandinavian, edwardian aged, wooden villa appears behind the trees like a castle. The house has two floors with a green atticroof, and a bushy, blooming garden in the same color, two glass verandahs on either side of the house and a white fence around the garden.

The twins get out of the car. Nadia gives her a look and Lydia nods. 

“Dad”, she says. “I’ve been feeling a bit weird these last days … I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Really?” Dr Kry asks and frowns. He closes the trunk of the car. “Who have you been around? Are any of the other students sick?”

“A few.”

“Nadia, are you feeling bad too?”

“No”, Nadia replies.

“Could you please give me a check up?” Lydia asks. 

“Alright, come with me”, Dr Kry says and nods at her to follow him. 

While they walk inside, their father and Lydia walks to the living room and Nadia sneaks off upstairs. She moves carefully to their parents’ room and knock gently on the door before entering. Their mother, you, is lying in bed with a book in her hand. You look as weak as ever. Nadia shivers. 

“Hi, sweetheart”, you smile and puts down your book on your chest. “Did you have a good day in school?”

“Yes …”, Nadia mumbles and sits down on the side of the bed, unsure on how to start this absurd conversation. 

“What’s wrong, Nadia?”

“What happened yesterday? WIth you and dad?”

You flinch. Your smile disappears for a moment for it to appear quickly again, but this time in a fake manner. 

“Why did he say that?” Nadia asks carefully. “Why did he say that he wasn’t going to share you again?”

“O-Oh, that …”, you mumble with an embarrassed smile. “It was nothing, don’t worry about it. It was just some adult stuff that me and your dad were talking about.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, honey. Why? Did it make you worry?”

Nadia nods slightly. Y/N gives her a smile and takes her hand. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart, there’s nothing to be afraid of”, you reassure Nadia. “Whatever happens between me and your dad is nothing you have to be afraid of. We will always put you and your sister first, okay? There’s nothing you have to be worried about. I love you, darling.”

“I love you too, mom …”

You hug her, and Nadia hugs back, but she can’t help but feel that her heart sinks. Something isn’t right. 

The very next day when they’re left off at school, Nadia grabs Lydia’s arm. 

“Let’s go to the hospital”, she says the second their father’s car disappears behind the corner. She holds up a metallic key. “I have the key to mom’s old room.”

“What?” Lydia asks in confusion. “Why?”

“I have a feeling that mom isn’t really sick and I have to take a look around in her old hospital room. Something isn’t right!” She clears her throat and lowers her voice. “Mom and dad met at the hospital and that he was her doctor, that much we know, right?”

Lydia nods, trying to follow along. 

“Isn’t it weird that a doctor as professional as our dad decided to start a relationship with a patient like that?” Nadia asks, sounding unsure. “And wouldn’t he have done everything he could to make mom feel better? Shouldn’t she be better now? I just … I want to know if he has done something.”

“Do you really think he has?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. But something isn’t right, and I feel that. Mom seemed to be put on the spot when I asked her about the interaction I had overheard. She seemed scared.” Nadia grabbed her hand in hers. “Please, Lyd, can we go there and just take a look?”

Lydia hesitates and glances at the private school behind them, contemplating the consequences. 

“Please”, Nadia repeats. “If mom is getting hurt, I want to help her.”

“Okay”, Lydia nods. 

With that said, they hurry past the school gates before a teacher has the time to catch them. They take the first bus to the state hospital their father works at and hope that he’s with a patient while they sneak around. 

They hurry inside the hospital and keep their heads down to make sure that none of the working receptionists would recognise them and report to their father right away. They stay silent until they get into the elevator. 

Once out, they sneak over to the door. Lydia stands guard as Nadia presses the key into its lock. The click from the key opening echoes in the empty corridor. Nadia’s hand hovers above the door handle. Her heart twirls around uncomfortably. In a moment, she will be in the room where their parents met, where something happened that made their dad take the decision of stepping over the professional line. If that was good or bad is yet to be known, but she can’t help but feel worried. 

The room is empty, in more than one way. The spirits of old memories haunt the room and they leave a sour taste in the twins’ mouths. Lydia looks towards the bed. Their mother has been lying here for months with a sickness that has kept her bed bound for years. But what happened while she was here?

“What are we looking for?” Lydia wonders. 

“Anything”, Nadia shrugs and looks around. “Whatever that can help us is fine. Journals, reports, notes — anything.”

They start to rummage through drawers, in binders and notepads. Lydia finds herself holding a yellow paper binder with their mother’s name written on it, in their father’s handwriting. 

“Nad, look at this”, Lydia says and holds up the binder. 

They put the binder on the desk and start to pull out papers. Every paper is written from the top to the bottom in ink.

“He has documented her every day …”, Lydia says, perplexed. She shakes her head in denial. “Every single day, every single hour. Obsessively. Look, every little detail is written down. ‘12:35, eaten an apple’, ‘16:52, took a shower’, ‘22:30, called for me on the telephone’. What is this?”

Nadia picks up another paper, a smaller, clearly supposed to be hidden between the other sides. She puts her hand over her mouth as her eyes widens. 

“Oh no”, she gasps and drops the paper. “No, no, no, no …”

Lydia frowns, bends down and picks up the paper. Her heart sinks as she reads the note. It’s a single word, but they’re familiar with it. They’ve found bottles of it in the cellar and the attic multiple times, and when they asked Dr Kry about it, he answered that it was a substance to kill vermin.

“He’s poisoning mom”, Nadia whispers in horror and looks at her twin with wide, terrified eyes. 

Lydia feels the air disappear from her lungs. Suddenly, she feels nauseous. She sits down on the rolling stool and tries to control her breathing. Nadia sinks down on the bed with her head in her hands. 

“What the fuck do we do?” Lydia breathes out with her eyes staring dimly in front of her. She has never felt this empty before, this helpless. “What the fuck do we do now, Nadia?”

“W-We have to call the cops”, Nadia gulps. 

“The cops? Nad, he’s our dad!”

“But if he hurts mom …” Her voice dies out. “We can’t let him take more years from her.”

Lydia nods and wipes the few tears that have begun to run down her cheeks. With shaking hands, she unzips her backpack and shoves the binder down. They will need evidence if they have to prove to the cops. 

The door behind them opens. Both girls fly up from their positions and scurry over to each other. Dr Kry walks in and stops abruptly in the door. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks quickly. 

He’s trying to force a smile, but the red eyes of his daughters and the trembling bodies of theirs are all he needs to see, to know that they know. 

“How fucking could you?!” Nadia screams. 

Dr Kry hurries to close the door as she continues to shout through sobs. 

“What’s your deal with mom?!” she screams. “How can you keep her like this?! Where’s your fucking conscience?!”

She thinks that she’s going to explode in pure fear, anger and sorrow. Dr Kry clenches his jaw and sighs heavily. 

“Your mother is a very, very special person”, he says slowly, as if he is talking to a ticking bomb. “It is all a misunderstanding, girls, I will tell you everything at home. Come, we’re going home now.”

“We’re not going anywhere with you”, Nadia spits and stands in front of her frozen sister. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of me.” Dr Kry rolls his eyes when they don’t answer. “You’re my daughters, and you are not yet of age, you have to come with me.”

Nadia wants to refuse again, but she doesn’t want to leave her mother alone with him, not when he knows that they know. 

“Now”, Dr Kry decides. 

Nadia picks up Lydia’s bag and gives it to her sister. It looks like Lydia is going to throw up any second now. Nadia takes her hand and they follow their father out of the room, and out through a back door. For the first time, Lydia sits down in the backseat together with her twin. They hold each others hands tightly and keep silent the entire car ride home. 

“Girls, I never wanted you to see that”, Dr Kry sighs and tries to meet their eyes in the rear view mirror. “I- … It’s hard to explain. Your mother is a very special person who I’m very lucky to have met.”

Lydia squeezes her eyes shut, but she can’t keep him out of her head. 

When they come home, Nadia drags her sister into the house. 

“Girls, don’t go upstairs”, Dr Kry says in that same dark voice Nadia had heard him talk in a few days ago. “I want you to stay down here.”

They halt, suddenly too scared to move. 

“I want you to help me with dinner”, Dr Kry says. “Come on.”

The twins glance at each other. Lydia starts to drag her sister to the kitchen. They help in complete silence. Lydia’s hands are trembling while she cuts cucumber and it slips, cutting a slit in her finger. She yelps and drops the knife. 

“Oh, honey”, Dr Kry breathes out and grabs her hand. “You have to be careful.”

She doesn’t look at him as he washes her hand under the kitchen sink and puts on a bandaid. Her entire body is in fight or flight mode. 

When Dr Kry takes care of the final touches, the twins scurry up to their mother. Your face drops when you see them. 

“Why is he doing this to you?” Nadia asks thickly as she tries not to cry. “We found out.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, girls”, you say sorrowfully. “I wish that you never had to know.”

“Why do you let it happen?” Lydia asks quietly. 

“I have no choice … I can’t do anything.” You lower your gaze and voice to an ashamed whisper. “I don’t have the energy to run away, and if I managed to, you’d be in danger and I’d be dead. Your father has the only antidote to his self made poison. It’s safer for everyone if I stay here.”

“But mom …”, Nadia whimpers, “... he’s hurting you.”

“I … I know, dear.” 

The door opens behind them. 

“Girls, dinner”, Dr Kry says shortly and nods towards the corridor. “Go downstairs.”

The twins turn to you, wanting you to make their decision. You give them a reassuring smile and they leave. You look at the man who has become your husband, much to your dismay. 

“Why did you let them find out?” you whisper with tears in your eyes. “You promised that they would never know!”

“I didn't think that they would.” He wipes the tears that roll down your cheeks. “I’ll fix this mess. Don’t worry, darling.”

With that said, he tucks you in and leaves to go downstairs. The twins have sat down by the dining table with their blank, staring eyes turned down into the table. Dr Kry sits down and start to eat, without seeming to care at all about the incidents that happened earlier. Nadia stares down into her plate with disgust roaring in her stomach. If she eats, she’s going to throw it all up in a matter of thirty minutes. She closes her eyes and sighs sadly. Lydia tries to eat a bite, forcing it down her throat. 

“Nadia, eat a little”, Dr Kry says. 

“I’m not hungry”, she mumbles. 

“You need to eat a bit. I won’t allow you to leave the table before you have eaten. Look at Lydia, she’s eating.”

Lydia feels her cheeks heat up as the attention turns to her. She’s suddenly embarrassed over obeying. Feeling exposed and naked under Nadia’s look of disbelief, as if she’s just broken a silent pact. But instead of saying anything, Nadia picks up her fork and takes a bite of the white rice. The twins can agree that this might have been the worst dinner they have ever experienced. 

Nadia puts her hand over her heart and clears her throat. There's a heavy feeling over her chest, something almost suffocating. She looks to the side, seeing how Lydia is frowning as well, trying to clear her throat. Nadia think that she looks like she’s going to faint. She wants to ask her how she’s feeling, but doesn’t dare talk in front of their father, afraid to start a conversation. 

After dinner, the twins decide to go upstairs, but their legs suddenly feel weak enough to break apart. 

“What’s going on?” Lydia whispers and grips the staircase railing. 

“I think that he put something in the food”, Nadia whispers back. 

“I feel really sick …”

She falls down on her knees in the middle of the staircase, still holding onto the railing. Nadia hurries to pull her up again and drags her over to her bedroom, lazily tucking her in. 

“Don’t leave me”, Lydia whimpers and grabs her hand before she can leave the room. “Stay … please. Don’t go. I'm scared.”

Nadia agrees, not wanting to leave. She climbs down under the covers of Lydia’s bed. They lay in silence and look up at the tilted, wooden ceiling. For every minute passes by, they’re growing more and more sick. Every muscle in their bodies seem to ache, twist and turn. 

“He’s doing it to us too”, Nadia whispers. 

They hear the lock on the door click and give each other terrified looks. Nadia stumbles out of the bed and feel the handle. She gulps in horror and turns back to the bed. 

“It’s locked!” she says and breathes out in shock. “He actually locked it …”

“Come back …”, Lydia begs and reaches for her. 

Nadia returns to the bed, crawls down under the covers and hugs her. She wraps her arms around her sister and rests Lydia’s head on her shoulder. 

“I’m scared”, Lydia whispers. 

“It’s going to be okay”, Nadia replies, although she doesn’t believe it herself. “We’re going to be okay.”

Dr Kry removes his tie, about to go to sleep. 

“I can’t believe you …”, you whisper from the bed, with her eyes down at her trembling hands. 

“Darling …”, Dr Kry sighs and turns around. 

You raise your tone, but keep it hushed enough not to exceed the bedroom walls. “You promised that they would never get hurt! You promised that they would never get exposed to this fucking substance!”

“They haven’t … yet.”

“Yet?! Don’t fucking tell me-”

“They figured it out, okay? They heard our conversation and decided to check out the hospital for themselves. I underestimated their intelligence … and their love for you.” He sighs annoyedly. “I’m not going to let their lack of understanding break apart our family — that I have fought so hard for. I put something in their food to keep them still for a while. It’s nothing dangerous, little one. I promise you that.”

“If I knew that you were going to break your promise-”

“I had to.”

He is about to caress your cheek, but hears sounds coming from next door. One of the girls is banging on the locked bedroom door, and calling for him. Dr Kry excuses himself and gets out of the room. He walks over to Lydia’s room, where the noise is coming from. Quickly, he unlocks, finding Nadia leaning on the wall right next to the door. Her eyes are full with tears. 

“What’s going on?” Dr Kry asks. 

“Lydia isn’t waking up!” Nadia cries.

Dr Kry feels his body turn cold. He runs over to the bed where his other daughter is lying on her side, and he soon finds out that Nadia is right — she isn’t waking up. He shakes her, gives her gentle taps on her cheeks and lifts her up. Nothing wakes her. He has to take her to the hospital. 

“Wait, where are you going?!” Nadia screams after him as Dr Kry carries her sister down the stairs. “She doesn’t want to be alone!”

“You have to stay here with mom”, Dr Kry says over his shoulder. “I’m taking care of Lydia.”

He hurries out of the house and quickly places her down in the back seat. Dr Kry’s usual forty minute drive to the hospital took only twenty five minutes this time. He picked her up in her arms and ran inside through the backdoor, and didn’t stop until their reach the room you have spent many, many months in. Dr Kry places his daughter down on the very same bed you have laid in. He placed an oxygen over Lydia’s mouth and nose, turning on the machine. He hasn’t felt this scared in a long time. 

Finally, after an hour, Lydia opens her eyes with a small moan. Dr Kry hurries over to the bed and removes the mask. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks her and brushes the hair out of her face. 

“I feel really sick”, she whimpers. 

“Do you need to throw up?” 

Lydia nods. Dr Kry picks her up again and moves her into the bathroom where she hovers over the toilet for ten minutes. Dr Kry holds her hair back and grimaces sadly. He does feel bad for putting her through this, but he has to. 

“There you go”, he says and puts her down on the bed again. 

“Why am I here?” Lydia asks weakly.

“You weren’t responding when anyone tried to wake you up. I got worried, so I decided to take you here.”

“Am I going to die?”

Dr Kry scoffs out a smile in a weird sensation of deja-vu. He has heard that question a lot, in the exact same tone and manner, but from the generation before her.  

“You’re not”, he reassures her and strokes her hair. “You know that I would never let anything happen to you.”

“Why am I feeling like this?”

“I put something in your food to make you and Nadia calm down, but you seem to have reacted badly to the substance … weirdly enough. Since you’re identical twins, i thought you’d react the same, but it seems like you are a bit more sensitive than your sister.”

“Nadia ate less than me.”

“Yeah, you might have gotten more substance in your body, which is why you feel worse. It’s going to be okay, I will not let anything happen to you.”

“But you hurt me.”

His smile drops and his hand stops stroking her hair. He knows that Lydia shares half of her mothers genetics, but he didn’t know that she would sound exactly like you. She has never heard you use these phrases, and yet Lydia has chosen the exact same wording that you have tortured Dr Kry with years ago. 

“I didn’t mean for you to end up here”, Dr Kry sighs and continues to stroke her hair. “That was my fault, I admit that. However, I had to keep you and Nadia a bit sedated because of how scared you were.”

“Why did you use so much?” she whimpers. 

“I was a bit shaky myself, I wasn’t meant to hurt you, Lydia.”

Lydia sighs shakily and sinks down in the mattress. She wants nothing more than to go back home, to Nadia, but at the same time she knows that if she goes back home, she will be locked in her room again. Continuing with life now that they know their father’s secret will be difficult. 

“How long do I have to stay here?” she asks quietly. 

“Until you’re feeling better”, Dr Kry replies and stands up. “For now, I think that you need to sleep. It’s late.”

That’s the last thing she wants to do. She has always been Dr Kry’s (not so subtle) favorite, and she has always had a preference for her father … but for the very first time, she’s afraid of him. She can’t trust him anymore, especially about her health. Being unconscious is the last thing she wants to do. 

“I don’t want to”, Lydia says pleadingly. “I’m not tired … please don’t make me sleep, dad.”

Please don’t make me sleep. Your voice echoes in his head, in the exact same tone. Dr Kry knows that he did a million things wrong when he kept you here, and now he has a second chance to fix things. 

“Okay”, he breathes out and sits down on his stool. “You don’t have to sleep, darling.”

Lydia gulps and looks around in the room, trying to imagine how you had felt while being here. She feels a heavy sensation over her chest, like a heavy stone. She couldn’t see the poisoned air purifier that was mentioned in the journal. 

“Did mom lay here?” Lydia whispers. 

“Yes”, he answers quietly. 

“How long?”

Dr Kry looks down at his nails, eyes faltering. “A, uh … very long time. Many, many months.”

She starts to look around again. “Where is the air purifier?”

“It’s not here … it broke, a long time ago. I had to throw it away.”

“Do you still use that kind of thing on mom?”

“No, I don’t. Not often.”

But he has his new way to make sure you stay.

Nadia runs her hand through her hair. Her poor sister. What should she do? Dr Kry left the rooms unlocked, which means that she can move around. She drags herself into your bedroom. You look at her with wide, nervous eyes. 

“Is she okay?” you ask and take Nadia in your arms. 

“I-I don’t know”, Nadia responds shakily while shaking her head desperately. “She wasn’t waking up and …”

“She’s going to be okay. I know your father can all of those medical stuff … maybe a little too well.” You sigh and caress the seventeen-year old girl’s face. “It’s going to be okay.”

Nadia shakes her head. “No fucking way things are going to be okay! He’s a madman, mom.”

“I … I know.”

“We can’t stay here.”

“Where are we supposed to go, Nad? We have no car, nearest neighbor is a kilometer away and we have poison in our blood. Sweetheart, we can’t walk far.”

“Mom, we have to leave. We can’t stay here with this psychopath!”

“Nadia …”

Nadia sighs frustratedly and hides her face in her hands. Something has to work. The farthest she has seen you walk is out to the garden when they’ve had picnic evenings. You take her hand, removing it.

“Sweetheart … you know dad loves you, right?” you ask carefully. You don’t want her to hate her him, after all he is her father … but you have to let her know the truth, no more living in the shadow.

“Fucking doubt it”, Nadia mutters. 

“He does. In his … own little way. But I need you to understand that he has sides that he hasn’t shown you … a-and I don’t want you to see those sides.”

Nadia’s face goes blank. You’re trying your best not to get swindled back into old memories, but thinking about that murderous side of Dr Kry brings you back to a time you much rather would want to forget. 

“Mom?” Nadia asks blankly and almost shouts in panic. “Mom! What sides?”

“He … He is a very patient man, but he can't take as much as possible, so please, whatever you do … cooperate.”

“What does that mean? Mom?”

Nadia goes cold. That’s it, she thinks, they have to leave. 

“Mom, get up”, she says and grabs the blanket before ripping it off. “Now. Before he returns.”

“Nad-”

“We have to try, at least. Please.”

You hesitate before getting out of bed. Nadia grabs your hand and try to pull you out of the bedroom, but everything around you seem to spin. Your entire body is heavy and aching in all the wrong places. 

“Nadia, wait”, you groan. “If I’m going to move, I have to move slowly.”

“Alright”, Nadia agrees. “I’ll go get some stuff and then meet you by the stairs.”

Nadia runs to her room to collect her wallet and hoodies for herself and her sister, then runs to get your jacket. She meets you by the stairs, helps you put your jacker on and then start to lead you down. You’re terrified of falling. 

“Nadia, I don’t think that this is a good idea”, you mumble and think back of your numerous escape attempts, all ending with someone losing their life. 

“We have to, mom”, Nadia pleads. “I can’t leave you here.”

“What about Lydia?”

“I’ll figure something out afterwards.”

Nadia unlocks the front door and leads you out on the glass verandah. You’re filled with fear. What if you can’t walk? What if you hurt yourself? What if Dr Kry finds out? Your body won’t be able to take his anger. Besides, you have barely left the house in eighteen years — apart from a few car rides here and there — what if the world has changed to something you don’t like?

“Mom”, Nadia says slowly. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m terrified”, you admit. 

“We will be okay.”

They start to walk along the dark countryside road. There are no streetlight this far out in the forest, but the moon lights up enough for them to see where the road is heading. 

“It’s been years since I was outside last”, you say. “I think the last time I was out walking was in the garden, last summer when we had that picnic.”

“Have you ever tried to run away from dad before?” Nadia asks. 

“I have”, you answer quietly. “A few times.”

“Did you ever succeed?”

“That depends on what you mean by ‘succeeding’, because I’m still here, aren’t I? But I got away a few times … the only problem was that he found me again.” You sigh, realizing that perhaps you shouldn’t have this conversation with your underage daughter. “Forget that. Where are we going?”

“We need to go to our neighbors. They have to help us.”

Nadia has only spoken to the neighbors a few times, because of how rarely they run into each other. 

They only manage to walk a hundred meters before bright, beaming headlights light up in front of them. Nadia wants to flee into the forest — in case it happens to be her father behind the wheel — but can’t seem to pull you with her. The car stops and to Nadia’s horror, her father gets out. 

“What the Hell are you doing?!” he shouts, sounding both angry and terrified. “Y/N!”

You freeze in your spot and seem to crawl together like a hurt dog, sounding like one too. Dr Kry runs over to you. Nadia watches in horror and starts to panic, wondering what she should do. Stay here with you and get caught in Dr Kry’s claws … or make a run for it to try to get help. 

“I’m sorry”, you shriek in fear. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

Dr Kry hugs your shaking body in his arms and strokes your back, hushing softly.

“I know you didn’t come up with this stupid idea”, he reassures you. “Don’t cry, my dear, I'm here now. I know this wasn't your fault. I'm not mad at you. I’ll get you back home and I'll take care of you. It’s going to be okay.”

He helps you into the front seat. You don’t fight back in the slightest. Nadia looks back at the dark forest and gulps. Her eyes glues onto something in the backseat and realizes that he has come back with her sister! 

“Nadia, get in, we've had enough of these childish outbursts”, her father tells her. “Get in. Now.”

“Is she okay?” Nadia almost stutters and points at her sleeping sister. 

“She’s okay. If you don’t get in now, Nadia, I’m taking them both with me and you’ll never see them again.”

His favoritism has never been clearer, Nadia thinks. She can’t leave her sister … so she gets into the backseat. Nadia wakes her sister up and caresses her cheek. 

“Are you okay?” she whispers quickly. “Did he hurt you?”

“I feel okay”, Lydia whispers back. “Just … tired. I had tro throw up a lot and I think that he gave me some sleeping pills or something. I insisted on going home … so he let me.”

Nadia breathes out. She glances over at the front seat. Their father holds the steering wheel with one hand and yours with the other. 

“Please don’t cry”, he wishes. 

Nadia watches on in disgust. 

When they get back to the white villah, Nadia pulls her sister up to her own room and lays her down on the bed while Dr Kry takes you into the master bedroom. 

“Here you go”, Nadia says and tucks her in. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“Some water”, Lydia says quietly. 

Nadia disappears downstairs to get a glass of water. She meets her father in the stairs. 

“Nadia, I’m not sure your sister will be able to leave her bed for a while”, he says warningly. “I wouldn’t try to leave, if i were you. If you do, I will take both of them with me, and you’ll never see them again.”

“Do you like to hurt your family?” she spits back. “What kind of sadist are you?”

“One to make sure my family stays with me. If you don’t want to end up in the same physical state as your sister and mother, you’re going to continue living as if everything is normal, got that? Go to school, come home, study, continue everything. No talking to anyone about this. Is that clear?”

“So everything as normal … but without Lydia?”

“Exactly.”

“Why aren’t you healing her?”

“Because I’m not going to let you, or anyone, take my family from me. Be glad that I’m still letting you live normally.”

Nadia glares at him and continues up the stairs. She holds the glass to Lydia’s mouth, watching her sip. 

“What now?” she whispers. 

“I’m allowed to continue living like normally … and you don’t”, Nadia says quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“But … but I don’t want to live like mom!”

“I know. I’m sorry, Lyd.”

The girl in the bed sighs sadly. Naida takes her hand and gulps. 

The coming weeks seem normal. Nadia goes to school, studies, returns to the villah, but nothing is the same. Without Lydia, there’s no use in being on top. She has no one to impress anymore. Her father is dead to her, and sucking up to him makes her sick. She barely talks to her friends anymore. They’re always asking her about Lydia, and why she’s not in school anymore. Nadia can’t come up with countless excuses … it’s easier to distance herself. 

Life doesn’t seem that bright and colorful anymore. Nadia can’t bring herself to be excited about things that used to interest her badly. Now, every day is a chore, something she wants to get done, until something happens … but she doesn’t know what it is. A death in the family? Someone saving them? Someone killing someone? 

Nadia walks out of school, seeing her fathers white car parked outside the gates, and him inside … waiting for her. 

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere drabbles #yandere oc x you #yandere fics #yandere oc x reader #yandere stories #yandere doctor #platonic yandere #yandere ocs #female reader #yandere oneshot #the younger generation

[y13evie]

Hi so I saw that you are open to write for house md and I'd like to ask for a chase fic. Like reader is house's kid and either works at the hospital too or gets admitted there but also knows chase and is in a relationship with him. Plot can be fluffy, smutty and/ or angsty I don't really care but I'd like to know how house would react if he sees them interact etc.

Idk if you see this or like the idea but I wish you the best and I really like your fics

hiiiiii anon!! i love this idea sm and i LOVE ROBERT CHASE WITH MY WHOLE HEARTT. dad house is so sweet and cutesy. i tried my best for u

tags: robert chase x houses kid! reader, one use of y/n, house is stubborn but loves u, just fluff

this is embarrassing. never in your twenty-five years of life would you imagine yourself in the hospital that both your father and boyfriend work at. yet here you are, with a 4 cm laceration on your right hand. the triage nurse had just sent you off and notified you that a doctor will be with you shortly. from your room window you could see dr foreman patting a familiar face on the back, probably saying something along the lines of “this case is yours bud”.

as soon as chase read the report he hurriedly rushed into your room. you shot him a sheepish grin and lifted up your hand to reveal the gash.

“my god, y/n”, he sat down next to you and took your hand gently into his gloved one and inspected the wound. he looked up at you, as if asking for an explanation.

“maybe i shouldn’t garden alone. i picked up this clay pot. the way it was sitting had been bothering me for a couple days now. i’m guess i’m not as strong as i thought i was because i dropped it and as it shattered, it cut me up pretty good.”

chase sighed at your stubbornness, something that had drawn him into you since early in your relationship. he took one of his gloves off and gently stroked your hair. he rambled on about how you should really be more careful and call him if you needed anything too laboring done. you weren’t listening. you were staring into those blue eyes. you weren’t into all that cheesy romance stuff but god, those eyes are stunning. your moment was quickly put to an end when harsh tapping could be heard from outside your window. you knew that sound from anywhere.

“you decided to be the one to doctor on MY kid”

house, or dad as you call him, hastily shuffles into your room and gives you both a judgemental look. robert rolls his eyes,

“foreman gave me the case first, i'm just doin’ my job”.

house hobbles over to check your vitals even though it’s a minor issue compared to what they deal with on a daily basis. you know your dad loves you and cares but he’s not the best at verbally expressing it. you knew he would probably just sit there and observe, so you turn back around to your extremely, worried boyfriend.

“soooo” you drag out the ‘oh’ sound, to show him you’re not worried. “whatcha doin after work handsome?”. chase runs a hand through his blonde hair and lets out a long, exasperated sigh.

“i was planning to go on a cute and sweet date with you, but instead i’m gonna be dr. chase for another 12 hours”.

he sounded tired but you knew he was more than happy to care for his darling. just as you two were planning out your evening, your father and robert’s pagers began harmonizing. chase gives a quick but passionate kids to your temple. house makes his gag be known, sticking a finger in his mouth for dramatic effect.

your dad lingers in the room for a moment, giving your shoulder a squeeze. it’s still gonna take time for him to adjust to the fact his child is dating his co-worker. but you’re not his little baby anymore and he knows it.

when he heads out his parting words are,

“i’ll have someone stitch you up kid, stay put”.

you lean back in the bed and continue to add pressure to your wounded hand. a few minutes pass and your sweet boyfriend stops by again. and takes a seat at the stool beside your bed. he has the tools to stitch up your hand. to distract you from the pain, chase sparks a conversation.

“your old man..” he chews the inside of his cheek. you know exactly what he’s gonna ask. “does he like me? and not as a co-worker. does he think i’m a good fit for his kid?”. your heart sank at the thought of robert thinking he’s not enough. truth is, your dad did like him. though he would never admit it, the fact robert makes you happy, makes your dad happy. he’s real bad at showing it, but you know it’s true.

“he’s a grump, chase. he likes you. he might never admit it. but the fact he hasn’t beaten you to death with that cane of his really says something.”. you can tell your reassurance helped. you loved robert, and he loved you too. before you knew it the stitches were finished. he pulled out a sling from a cabinet so you won’t irritate the stitches too much.

“hey, i’ll get your discharge papers. we’ll have you out of here soon”.

chase pressed a kiss to your lips this time, and he stayed there for a minute. hand on your jaw to keep you steady. you moved your lips in unison, running your free hand through his hair. a sharp pain stabbed your hand and caused you to pulled away and gasp. he reminded you to take some pain medication once home.

before he headed out the door, robert whips around and sternly demands,

“i don’t ever wanna see you in here again.”

#house md x reader #house md #robert chase x reader #robert chase #robert chase x you #house m.d. #house m.d. x reader #reqs open #i love robert chase #he’s so baby girl i love him #this idea is so cute anon

[cheegu3]

Enhypen - the glory (part 6)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere themes, bullying, swearing, blood, fight, poor ass attempt at manipulation, mentions of wounds, mentions of non-con kissing,

genre; yandere

wc; 5k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; I think the definition of the word impulsive is me bc I added a damn plottwist last minute just to stress ppl out 💀 pls note that the boys aren't featured much in this, not my best chapter it's a bit of a messy filler chapter but I hope you can see my vision for the next ones ?? also y/n girly is doing a bit of a 180, good for her !!

masterlist

After a long night of hanging out, talking and just watching the movie, Soobin kindly dropped you off at your house as promised. With a head full of thoughts, it distracted you so much that you didn’t see where you were going; causing you to bump into a chest when you were near the entrance to the apartment building.

‘’ Sorry, ‘’ he grunted.

You were about to respond, but when your head snapped up as you were apologising profusely you swear your heart skipped a beat.

‘’ Jake? ‘’

He smiled and tried to go in for a hug. When he was pushed away hard on his chest and it caused him to stumble he scowled at you.

‘’ Why the fuck are you here? ‘’

‘’ Just…hung out with your dad. ‘’

The amused tone in his voice enraged you. In seconds your fists grabbed onto his collar and trying to intimidate him, tugged him towards you. 

‘’ Y/n? ‘’

Your burning eyes softened. Searching for the owner of yet another familiar voice, it soon landed on the entrance where you poor dad stood, looking confused and slightly embarrassed.

He gave you a stern look before marching over, pulling your hands away with great force and standing in between you and Jake so he could bow his head.

‘’ I’m so, so sorry. I- she’s not usually like this. ‘’

A crooked smile slowly crept on your bully’s face, only you could see the disingenuity behind it.

‘’ I know. We’re usually very close, we just had a small disagreement.‘’

‘’ Dad! He’s not my friend, he’s the one that has been bullying me. ‘’ you said exasperatedly, hoping to get through to your dad with those words.

‘’ This guy? ‘’ 

It was almost laughable how hard Jake was putting on a show, blinking his enlarged puppy eyes at your dad while his lips had an offended pout on it. What a shame he was so fucking good at it.

‘’ Yes, I know that he looks…’’ you grimaced, ‘’ Innocent and sweet but he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, he- he has kissed me before, without my consent. ‘’

You ignored the way he lit up at your compliment and he seemed to really struggle to not show it while your dad was still watching him, the only sign was the corner of his lips tugging upwards for a split second.

With your dad’s back turned to you there was no way for you to tell if your dad believed your words. But you could sense that there must’ve been some hint of acceptance there because Jake panicked, hurrying to speak before you or your dad did.

‘’ Sir, I’ve been really worried about y/n recently. With her mother in the hospital, she’s been kind of off…’’ you mouth hung open at the scene unfolding in front of you, he really wasn’t giving up.

‘’ She has been confusing me with her actual bully, Soobin who transfered not that long ago, along with this girl. ‘’ he gestured towards your arms, feigning a distraught look. ‘’ They did that to her. They left her in pain and with those scars. ‘’

He pretended to choke up, sighing and looking away from the audience.

‘’ And it breaks my heart that she doesn’t recognize m- ‘’

A cry broke from your lips as Jake was cut off mid sentence. A fist had swung and hit him right in the nose, and when he raised his head you could see blood trickling from it.

‘’ Dad! ‘’ you gasped, both impressed and pleasantly surprised.

Like the crybaby he was, he took a few steps back and then crouched down, pressing his hands to his dripping nose while glaring at you two. Your smile faded when your eyes met, he was even angrier than the last time you swore that was the angriest he’d ever looked. His hands were shaking and he was breathing heavily. You swallowed thickly. What would this mean for your dad? Would he try to get revenge on him too now?

‘’ Let’s go, y/n. ‘’

Your dad dragged you away by the arm, continuing to do so despite your protests and attempts to get out of his grasp. Knowing Jake well enough by now, you knew that if you comforted him and apologized, maybe even hugged and kissed him - then, he maybe wouldn’t hit back. But your dad didn’t even let you try this time, leaving you with a horrible sense of dread at the pit of your stomach as you ascended the stairs.

‘’ You should get in before he comes back. ‘’

You followed your dad into the apartment. Your two distinct moods were pretty apparent to one another. He looked worried and at the same time determined, not an ounce of regret present on his face; you on the other hand, kept your head down, a different kind of worry gnawed on the inside causing you to sit on the couch with a somewhat dead look in your eyes.

You sitting there and staring straight ahead for a very long time made your dad come over, a growing concern having taken ahold of him.

‘’ Hey, y/n? ‘’

You almost had to tear your eyes away from the wall you’d been staring at.

‘’ I’m sorry about that. I hope I didn’t cause any more troubles for you at school, ‘’ he hesitated, ‘’ Did I? ‘’

Robotically your head shook no, although your true feelings were quite different. Knowing he couldn’t do anything to help you anyway, there was no need for him to know anything, right? He’d just worry even more, and he had too many things on his plate as it was already.

‘’ Okay, good good. ‘’ he mumbled, appearing to be stuck in his own head too.

In an attempt to lighten the mood and get you both to think of something else, your dad reached out for the TV-remote and put on a show that faded into the background for you.

‘’ I need to go do homework. ‘’

Your dad nodded but couldn’t help but look after you as you left, a look full with somberness. Well inside the room, you walked over to the wall with the post-it notes. It looked as empty as it had been last time you wrote anything on it.

Now you had more info. Walking over to the desk, you scribbled some words down and hung it up next to the others. Then you moved that one and added seven more notes, all with their names, figuring it would be better to separate the things you knew by person.

Under Jay you added the note that read - dad is the mayor of Seoul. Sunghoon, Sunoo and Jungwon were the only ones except for Jay that had a note, and that irritated you. Sunoo’s read - gave information in the past, someone we can use? While Sunghoon and Jungwon’s said - has my number.

A heavy sigh sounded in the room as you scanned over the other names. Heeseung, nothing yet. Jake, nothing, Ni-ki…Ni-ki? You hurried to the table. With a new note in your hand, you almost ran to the wall eagerly and added the information you got from Sunoo regarding his childhood, adding the same under Sunoo’s. 

The fact was that you knew more about those two than the others. While staring at Sunoo’s name you hoped to yourself that it’d be as easy to get more information out of him as the first time. Maybe giving some clues about the other guys so Soobin wouldn’t have to work as hard.

Once you realised you couldn’t really add anything to the wall for now, you finally sat down at the desk to catch up on all the schoolwork you had neglected the past week. The phone that laid nearby was a powerful distraction to the math you tried very hard to get immersed in. You kept glancing at it, hands clenching the pen in your hand in anxiety at the possibility of them texting you since they could unfortunately do that now.

Almost as if you’d manifested it, the phone pinged after about the tenth time you peeked at it. It was impossible to miss, in the darkened room it lit up and the display shone at you brightly. 

A quick breath was released before you dared to pick it up. Both disappointment and relief filled you instead as the notification was just from an app. The radio silence from the guys felt a bit unnerving. Had he even told them? What were they talking about? Were they angry, would they text- no, you had to stop letting your mind wander. There was no point in trying to somehow read their minds through telepathy, it would only serve to increase the worry.

You looked at the neglected homework and reluctantly pushed it away once again, opting instead for a good night’s rest.

*******

The next day was Sunday. Normally you’d go to weekend-school to do some extra work but after last night’s run in with Jake, you decided to do what Soobin had told you to do, stay at home. 

8:17 am

You: Soobin? I thought about what you said and I won’t come to the academy today. Do you think you’ll be okay on your own?

Cousin: I’m glad you trusted me :) 

Cousin: I will be okay. Maybe I could try to get closer to them today?

You: Yeah. I kinda expect them to since I’m not there. They might ask about me, especially since,

You: Well…

He didn’t reply right away so you exited the messages and instead went to email. During last night, Soobin suggested that you could hire a private investigator. He emailed a suggested official website where you could easily get all kinds of people willing to help with anything, and he even offered to pay for you.

Soobin had said that his dad used it in the past, when trying to find proof of infedelity in his marriage so he’d seen first-hand how it worked. They never asked too many questions or reported anything since they had their own interests. The one he chose was a corrupted cop, working on the side for extra pocket-money. In the end, he proved to be a good choice as he did find proof and the divorce was finalized. 

You scrolled down the long list of names, thumb stopping and hovering over one in particular - Choi Hyuntae, Kim Doyun, Park Chaewoo, Kang Siwoo, Lee Seoyun, Yang Yena…

With swift fingers you clicked to message the person. The probability of you choosing her was low, but curiosity lead you astray for a moment.

8:20 am

You: Yena? Why are you on this website? / from, y/n

A whole minute passed before you got a response.

Unknown number: Y/n? Wtf are you doing here?

You: Answer me first

Unknown number: I recently passed the exam. I’m a cop now.

You: And you’re already corrupt…

Unknown number: Just trying to survive like everyone else. Your turn to answer.

You: I was looking for someone to help me with the situation at school.

You hesitated before giving the truth. But it wouldn’t be the biggest deal if she told Jungwon, you hadn’t even done anything yet and if they confronted you, you could always make them think you had no power to do anything anyway. Your scars hadn’t itched in a few hours, maybe if they did you’d be reminded of the pain and shy away from just jumping into action.

Unknown number: You mean my brother and his friends?

You: Yeah.

Unknown number: I could help you with that. I hate him and have always wanted to take him down. I guess this is fate, huh?

You: Why do you hate him though? Except for his personality ofc.

Unknown number: I was always second best, in school, in looks, in talents and personality etc. Jungwon has dreams of becoming a singer, I guess they found his dream a lot better than mine too. Besides, they only wanted sons anyway.

You: Sorry to hear that. I guess I could give you a chance, but I don’t trust you yet so don’t expect too much.

Unknown: I won’t

You: If you have a car, we can meetup tonight at 9pm in that abandoned parking lot by the beach, the one a bunch of highschoolers used to drive to when they ditched school.

You: Do you know it?

Unknown: I think so. See you there!

It was a bit reckless to decide to meet up just like that, without even consulting with Soobin. Him being away left you feeling bored and restless. You wanted very badly to make moves as well, but you couldn’t go to the academy. Finally he did eventually answer, redirecting your attention elsewhere.

8:22 am

Cousin: Well what???

You: I did something stupid. Jake was in my apartment while I was at your house. I told dad that he bullied me and he punched him.

Cousin: WHAT? Y/n!

You: Sorry…Can you deal with the mess tho?

Cousin: I can try :/ 

Cousin: I’ll keep in touch during the day. Why the fuck was he there though?

While reading the texts from Soobin, your smile faded away. You realized you had never asked your dad about it. Surely there was a reason right?

‘’ Dad? ‘’

‘’ In the kitchen, honey! ‘’

You ran there. 

‘’ Did Jake say why he was here yesterday? ‘’

The typing on the computer stopped for a few seconds. A low hum came from his throat as he rubbed his beard.

‘’ He did…I think- yeah, he said it was because you got injured during P.E and missed out on the last lesson. So he wanted to give you the notes. ‘’

‘’ Did you not question it? I haven’t told you I have any friends. ‘’

‘’ You know your school is on the way to my office. I look through the gates sometimes. ‘’ he shrugged.

‘’ Did you see me? ‘’

‘’ Many times. After school, I saw you once with some guy but I could only see the back. ‘’

‘’ Soobin. ‘’ you mumbled to yourself.

‘’ I got the wrong guy? ‘’

You hummed. ‘’ Seems so. 

‘’ Can you blame me? I saw that same guy be surrounded by a bunch of guys before that, could’ve all been twins to an old man like me. ‘’

His voice slowly dimmed in the background of the new stream of thoughts inside your head. Wait, was he talking about Soobin? With a bunch of guys…

‘’ If you ask me, everyone looks the sa- ‘’

‘’ Dad! Do you think at least one of the guys could’ve been Jake? ‘’ you interrupted.

He was caught off guard by your rapid question and took a bit to recollect his thoughts.

‘’ Possibly. ‘’

Shit. Why was Soobin with them? You felt a bitter taste take place in your mouth. The phone in the backpocket of your jeans was fished up as you contemplated texting him and asking him head on. But that seed of mistrust you always had inside, stopped you from doing so.

It had gotten watered again after having been kept away the more Soobin got you to trust him. Now it was growing, like it had never stopped. Was he two-timing you? You squeezed your hands around your phone, to the point your arm started shaking.

‘’ Honey, are you alright? ‘’

You snapped back and gasped when you realized what you were doing. With an awkward laugh you nodded and smiled, hurrying next to leave quickly so you could lock yourself up in your room.

Had Jake been in your room? You tried to take your mind off of Soobin by ravaging through your stuff to see if there was any trace of him. Then, a deeply unsettling thought popped into your head. In seconds you were at the drawers, pulling them out and throwing things around.

Oh no, that fucking pervert! You counted your underwear over and over. No matter how many times you did so, it didn’t add up - something was missing. Boiling with rage you took out your phone and without thinking, you called Sunghoon.

He picked up on the fifth dial, sounding brash even from the get-go.

‘’ Hey, sweetheart. ‘’

‘’ Sunghoon! Put Jake on the phone, now! ‘’ you yelled.

He didn’t question it or joke around more, probably hearing the anger radiating in your voice. A small laugh slipped out before muffled sounds followed and Jake finally was put on the phone.

‘’ Jake? ‘’

‘’ Yeah? ‘’

‘’ What the fuck did you do in my room? ‘’

The line went quiet, but you heard a few snickers in the background. If he had put it on speaker for everyone to hear, it would solely serve to make you even angrier. You weren’t even sure where all this newfound confidence and boldness came from, or if you’d regret it soon enough. Now all that mattered was your anger, and only that.

‘’ I- uh…what do you mean? ‘’

‘’ Don’t you dare try to play dumb! ‘’ you screamed.

Jake chuckled. ‘’ I don’t have to tell you anything after what you did to me. ‘’

‘’ You deserved so much worse than that. ‘’

He hummed.

‘’ Maybe. But thank you babe, I’ll have fun tonight. ‘’

You screamed in frustration again which doubled when you heard they hung up. You couldn't even retaliate or cuss them out. Falling back onto the soft cushion on the bed, you stared up at the ceiling, almost struggling to breathe properly.

The phone pinged.

8:21 am

Cousin: I’m here. What do you want me to do?

Glaring at the screen, you couldn’t help but feel angry at Soobin even though it wasn’t his fault this time either. For some reason you kept imagining that he was probably looking at his phone while the guys over his shoulder all laughed, calling you all sorts of names and coming up with more plans on how to torture you further.

But another part of you came to the conclusion that you’d have to confront him and talk about it like an adult, because it could still be a misunderstanding; you didn’t want to give more life to the seed of doubt and falsely lash out on him again.

You huffed, but replied for now as if you were completely oblivious about what your dad had told you. Likely, you’d talk to him about it later. But it would be even better if he could get you proof that it was all a misunderstanding without you telling him. Your reasoning for this was that if it was one and you had confronted him, it would probably break his heart that you got suspicious of him again. Problem was, you had no idea how he could give you proof without you mentioning any of that. 

After some pondering, laying on the bed and letting the silence make brainstorming happen, you settled on the first somewhat decent idea you came up with, voice notes. It could potentially mean you could hear in the others’ voices if they were acting or not.

But god, you hoped with every fiber in you that Soobin was still someone you could trust and that he was in no way affiliated with your abusers.

8:24 am

You: Could you voice record the whole thing?

Cousin: Sure!

And now you just had to wait.

*******

The time you spent in the car wasn’t very pleasant. Most of the day was spent finally being able to get into the zone long enough to finish your schoolwork. Soobin had texted about five minutes before you left to go meet Yena, saying that he had the recording and that he wanted to listen to it together. 

You told him you were meeting Jungwon’s sister, which quite expectedly made him freak out a little. He was probably on his way now and you hoped he wouldn’t jeopardize the meetup.

A white honda pulled into the parking lot a few minutes past 9pm. It went round in circles near the entrance a few times. Then the driver seemed to spot your car as it slowly started making its way over.

When it reversed into the empty square next to you, you craned your neck to see the person behind the wheel. You breathed out in relief upon seeing it was Yena like you had thought. For some reason, you always felt like they were watching you and half expected one of them to pull up, either instead of Yena or behind her.

Now that you knew that wasn’t the case, you unlocked the car and gestured for her to get into the front seat of your car. Getting out in the parking lot didn’t seem as safe or discreet, especially in case they did follow her here.

She got in and immediately reeked of pure business. No unnecessary politeness or small talk, just straight into it, ‘’ What do you want me to do? ‘’

Your eyes widened. ‘’ Not even a hi or how are you? ‘’

She just stared at you blankly and you had to look away, getting an awful sense of déjà-vu under her unsettling and very familiar gaze.

‘’ I’m still a cop working full-time, ‘’ she paused, looking a bit more relaxed. ‘’ Sorry, I just always seem to have my hands full. ‘’

‘’ Tough cases lately? ‘’

Yena nodded, looking quite gloomy all of a sudden. But you didn’t press further, agreeing it was best for the both of you to get right into it. You dug in your backpack and taking out a bulky camera, you handed it to her. She started turning it and inspecting it until you had managed to lay out all the equipment on the dashboard.

‘’ It’s not the best. Just an old camera my dad has used in the past, only one I could find. ‘’

She put the camera to her eye and started twisting the lens, playing around with the abilities of it. ‘’ It works just fine. You don’t need anything too expensive. ‘’

‘’ Okay, that’s good to hear. ‘’

‘’ So what do you need me to do? Follow that little asshole and his friends around and take pictures of them? ‘’

‘’ Yeah, pretty much. ‘’

‘’ That’s…kinda creepy, I like it. Anything else? ‘’ a small grin spread on her ruby lips.

‘’ Anything that seems relevant. Like their families- ‘’ you paused and licked your lips, watching her reaction closely, but her expression remained unchanged. ‘’ Things I can use against them. ‘’

‘’ You’re getting revenge. ‘’

‘’ Yeah. ‘’

She laughed loudly.

‘’ And you have no choice but to trust me or? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know. I could’ve picked someone else on that website. I guess a familiar face feels more comfortable. ‘’

‘’ I’m his sister though. If I were you I wouldn’t trust people that easily, even though I am telling the truth. ‘’

‘’ I don’t, and that has been a problem in the past. I need to be a bit more open to people. Let’s say you did tell him, ‘’ you imagined yourself in that scenario, thinking about what you’d truthfully most likely do. 

‘’ What can he do? I mean I can run away, move schools or…something. It’s not like I’ve done much anyway. Or I can pretend I’m in love with them and super regretful about what I tried to do. ‘’

She looked amused and you could see why. The anger from Jake escalating things and getting into your personal space like that had made you be a lot more impulsive. You felt like you didn’t have much time. As if there was some kind of timebomb to something, but you didn’t know what.

All you knew was that it wasn’t completely crazy to think and feel the way you did. They had started closing the circle around you. Meeting outside of school, getting your number, visiting your mom in the hospital, and then going to your apartment to take your things. What would they do next?

There was a feeling that if you didn’t make a move now, however hasty and reckless, you’d never get the chance to even try. You weren’t sure if that was weird paranoia making you try to predict the future or a good intuition knowing what storm was heading towards you.

‘’ They’re probably worse than you think, sweetheart. But okay, I’ll try my best and hopefully the hard work I put in and all the material I will give you, will make you trust me. ‘’

‘’ I don’t have to trust you. I have nothing to lose. ‘’

Yena raised her eyebrows.

‘’ Yes you do. ‘’

You bit your lips guilitly, knowing she was right. But the one who has nothing to lose, is the one who is more likely to win. Fake it till you make it.

‘’ When can you get me the first pictures? ‘’ you attempted to change the subject.

‘’ On Wednesday. Try not to die before then, I heard Jungwon talking about you with them today. ‘’

‘’ What? What did they say? ‘’

‘’ They all came over after the academy. I didn’t hear much except for your name and Jake, those were said a lot. ‘’ she shrugged. 

You hummed. ‘’ Okay, I’ll try not to. See you then, same time and same place? ‘’

‘’ Sure thing. ‘’

She left and you got your phone out to call Soobin. You had noticed a car parking a few spaces away from you, only too far away for the driver to be visible. Just as the phone was picked up, you could see movement in that other car.

‘’ Hello? ‘’

‘’ Are you here? ‘’

‘’ How did you know? ‘’ he gasped dramatically.

‘’ You weren’t very discreet,  ‘’ you sighed, but a small smile tugged at your lips.

‘’ Sit in my car so we can talk. ‘’

‘’ It’s kinda cooler like this though, on the phone. It’s like we’re secret agents. ‘’

‘’ Soobin! ‘’

‘’ Sorry, sorry! I’m coming. ‘’

You shook your head at the sight of him getting out of the car you thought he was in. He looked very funny while running over, hunched over and trying to look in all directions when running which caused him to almost stumble several times.

‘’ Hey. ‘’ 

‘’ Hi. Hurry. ‘’

You locked the door when he was in. The immediate silence after the car door closing made it echo felt a bit awkward, but he looked as happy as ever to see you. That’s when you remembered what your dad had said that same morning.

Soobin noticed the way a scowl slowly crept up on the friendly face you first wore when he got in. He felt a bit self-conscious, thinking that he did something wrong.

‘’ Are you…okay? ‘’

‘’ My dad told me something very interesting about you today. ‘’

He gulped, almost feeling like he wanted to press himself against the door so he could get away from your angry self.

‘’ He said that he saw you with my bullies. ‘’

Soobin went quiet.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’

His face grew pale as he struggled to speak. ‘’ I-I, no! It’s not what you think, y/n! ‘’

‘’ Then tell me. ‘’

He tried reaching out for your hands, expecting you to withdraw them and was surprised when you didn’t. You let him hold you if it helped alleviate some of his sudden anxiety so he could tell you the truth.

‘’ I…went to go talk to them to tell them to leave you alone. ‘’

‘’ What? ‘’

He looked very ashamed.

‘’ It was after the first day, when you showed me your scars. We barley knew each other then, but I- I shouldn’t have, I know. ‘’

You almost felt too stunned to speak. All the questions you wanted to ask didn’t want to come out smoothly and you weren’t even sure what to feel. Were you still angry or suspicious of him or - did you feel a bit grateful?

‘’ I did it quickly while waiting for you after school. Remember, you went to the bathroom? They walked right past me and I couldn’t stop myself. I guess they didn’t want you to hear, so I was practically dragged or pushed out to the front of the school. ‘’

‘’ What did they say? ‘’ you asked after he answered your first question.

‘’ Threatened me. Said they knew who my dad was and that Jay could get my dad fired. ‘’

‘’ Why didn’t you tell me this? ‘’ 

Your groan of frustration was so loud it made Soobin jump. He looked at you, his doe eyes begging for mercy almost as if you were a hunter and was about to take his life. Maybe there was some truth to that, you had the small urge to shake some sense into him and also quite literally choke him in anger.

The plan had quite literally fallen into pieces, the plan that was just made. Now you had to come up with a new one quickly.

‘’ They knew we’ve been friends since the fucking beginning, you sat there with me to come up with a plan and immediately agreed to what I said! ‘’

‘’ I thought I could somehow pull it off and still be useful even if they knew. I would just…find a way, ‘’ he trailed off.

His head had started to hang in shame now, too embarrassed and guilty to look at you. Without doing so, it was still pretty obvious how you were feeling on the inside. He’d likely feel the same if he were you which meant he was well aware that this wasn’t a good look for him at all.

‘’ If you don’t want to be friends anymore, I get it okay- I just, I want to help you. I can promise you that. ‘’

You scoffed.

‘’ It would’ve been a lot better if you were just honest from the beginning. I wouldn’t have cared about your mistake. ‘’ not even giving him a chance to respond, you continued, ‘’ But I guess I have no choice now. For all I know I have two backstabbers by my side, so who cares? ‘’

Soobin sensed the bitterness in your words. He hoped that despite whatever was going on would be solved soon and hoped even more that you hadn’t given up. It was stupid not to tell you, he admitted that. For some reason he was confident it would never get brought up; at the same time, he was happy it did right now and not later when the bullies could’ve used that lie to turn you against him.

‘’ I hope I can earn your trust back. ‘’

You didn’t say anything. His explanation made sense, no matter how angry you were, especially when Yeonjun’s words echoed inside your head. It seemed to be perfectly in character for him. So just before he stepped out of the car, looking very sad, you smiled at him.

His eyes grew twice in size, but he didn’t get to say anything because you gestured for him to get out, not that he’d have the right words anyway. He stood there dumbfounded, staring after your car even as you left.

‘’ What’s wrong? ‘’

His eyes hadn’t widened due to your smile, but something standing in the shadows.

‘’ Y/n…’’ 

‘’ What’s wrong? ‘’

Terror flashed across his face, and he choked out breathlessly,

‘’ He’s watching me. ‘’

-

-

(tell me if you've changed ur user bc I could've just tagged some poor locals LMAO)

taglist; @peaceout97blog-blog, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly, @espyluvsyou, @yncel, @loserwithnofriends, @enha-stan, @binchanluvrr, @ariek-divad, @obsessed1with1straykids

#enha the glory #yandere kpop #kpop yandere #yandere enhypen #yandere enha

[perplexingluciddreams]

Today was orthotics appointment. It is at hospital I don't like, Dad not like too because bad parking. When we get there, it was very full loud waiting room. So we wait outside the room in the corridor.

The orthotist Kirsty is very nice! With nice accent. It was loud bad place at first with other patients talking loud - even with noise cancelling headphones I struggle and get very anxious but also feel stuck could not stim like I need. I could not hear what Kirsty or Dad said because the other voices noises were louder even with noise cancelling headphones ☹️.

They could see I didn't cope, so she very kindly, look in other quiet room to see if it is empty. (Usually I go to that room). Yes, it is! So we go in there.

Then talk a lot about old AFOs. And Dad show my list of what is not-good about them. She look at my walking with shoes AND without shoes, and examine look at my legs and feet and move about and feel how hypermobile I am. And where my calf muscles is a bit tight.

She agree that my current AFOs don't work. So we try something different new. Dad showed my pictures of what I think might be better for me. So, she say they can do a similar style of rigid plastic AFO on the outside, with an inner "anklet" that is thinner more flexible plastic going around my ankle and over the top of my foot. Then that part will go inside the bigger rigid AFOs. And, I can have better straps that isn't so bulky and too tough to undo by myself. (They will just go once over, instead of through a ring and double back).

Then, she do a SCAN!! Instead of casts this time :D. I have to hold very very still it takes a LOT of concentration and effort. But I did very well. Dad said the shape of my leg showed up slowly on the screen when she did the light scanner in stripes. I didn't see that because I had to concentrate very much to stay still.

They had to stick a wire to the front of my leg for the scanner. And the tape stuck to my leg hair! And ripped some off when I took it off, ouch! But it was okay, not too sore, just mostly funny. Dad joked about is his genetics for the leg hair.

Overall, very successful appointment and it went much better than I expected! I am still very anxious about it all, because we have several attempts already that didn't work. But, Dad says we will keep on trying until we get exactly what works for me.

I always feel overwhelmed and exhausted after appointment. And always feel like I didn't communicate everything I want to - even with prepare with other people and they say things for me, even if I try try try so hard to do words, it just doesn't happen at the time. And I have automatic response to just nod head "yes" at almost everything, even if I didn't process or understand. So I worry that I seem to say "yes" or agree to things that I don't mean. Especially when I know that there was a lot of talking at the appointment that I didn't process at all. I feel so utterly lost all the time - and there is no way to really express how that affects me my whole entire life.

I hate my inability to communicate ☹️☹️. It goes WAY beyond just not able to speak. Even with all the tools and aids and help from other people... majority of the time it is simply near-impossible for me to interact with another person. It is everything about how I interact with everyone, my whole life long. And then I feel like anything that goes wrong or doesn't work is my fault for not able to communicate or explain something.

Anyway. I am knackered now, so time for rest and Celtic Woman DVD 😄. I try not to think about it anymore, just distract. And try to keep hope, but not too much, so I don't get too disappointed.

I have lemonade (Dad quickly go to shop and buy so I can have my usual fizzy drink treat after appointment 😄, thanks Dad!). And I have snack. And DVD. 😊

#words from my head #afos #ankle foot orthotics #leg braces #autism #autistic #medical appointments #hospital #nonverbal #nonspeaking

[damn-stark]

Chapter 8 In the meadow

Tragedy at the Miller’s chapter 8

A/N- Since I don’t know how long they’re going to make the timeskip for s2, I’ve left the time period unsaid, but I do know when I want it to take place so not to worry :)

Warning- FLUFF, swearing, long chapter, and talks of death and birth and babies

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader, OC x fem!reader, Henry x Fem!reader

Episode- After season 1

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

*4 YEARS BEFORE THE OUTBREAK*

And then from the tension filled silence a sharp cry broke in the room. Breaking that thick fearful tension and bringing pure joy to everyone inside, especially him.

“Congratulations mom and dad, it's a healthy baby girl.”

Joel looks down at his partner on the bed and shares a wobbly grin before he presses a soft kiss on her forehead. “You did good, baby,” he whispers to the woman in a sweet voice.

The woman's grin brightens and she holds Joel’s gaze as she grabs ahold of his hand to hold it tight.

“Do you have a name yet?” The nurse asks as she bundles you up in those scratchy hospital blankets without caring that you're still crying.

“Yes,” the woman on the bed says as she watches carefully as the nurse handles you. “It’s y/n.”

The nurse meets the woman’s gaze and offers her a small smile while she begins walking to the bed. “That’s a beautiful name. Do you want to hold her before we take her?”

Without hesitation the woman nods and reaches her arms out for you with tears filling her eyes already. “Of course,” she agrees.

The nurse carefully places you in your mothers arms, making her gasp softly as you steal her breath away and cause those tears she held in to begin rolling down her cheeks. Whilst you, it’s like you had known your mothers arms before because as soon as she held you go went quiet.

“Hi,” she whispers to you as she brings you closer to her. “Hi,” she coos and carefully uses her finger to caress your cheek. “Look at you. You’re so perfect.” She sniffles and lifts her gaze to meet Joel’s gaze. “Look at her Joel, she’s so beautiful.”

Joel crouches and parts his lips to agree, but he finds himself speechless, so all he can do is slowly reach for your small little hand.

“That’s your daddy, Joel,” the woman beams at you. “Do you remember him? He’d sing for you?” She giggles softly and keeps watching you as she’s captivated by your face. “I’m your mama, Rue. And later you’ll see your sister, Sarah. She’s excited to meet you.”

“That’s right,” Joel whispers as he watches her with a soft admiring smile on his face.

“Oh,” she cries softly. “You’re so beautiful. My precious girl.” She quickly wipes her tears away and looks over at Joel watching her from the side of the bed. “Here…hold her.” She turns slightly and carefully hands you to your dad.

“Hey,” he whispers as he fixes his stance with you in his arms. “Hey.” He says again and reaches for your hand with his finger. “Look at you,” he laughs softly. “You’re so beautiful, babygirl,” he coos and then glances at Rue with tears gleaming his eyes.

But then, suddenly as he’s distracted looking at his partner, you wrap your little hand around his finger with as much force as you can muster, and steal his attention and a soft breath away; missing the way Rue’s face begins to contort with discomfort.

Joel doesn’t say anything, he just watches you hold his finger with a proud smile. And it’s as he’s watching you that you begin to flutter your eyes open, making him now look at you with an awestruck look and tears breaking out of his eyes. Making him miss the sound of Rue’s rising heartbeat as he’s captivated by the way you’re blinking.

“What pretty eyes you have,” he whispers to you while you watch him, or really leave your eyes on his face. “Do you wanna see your mom?” He asks and turns to show her, but in that exact moment the monitor that showed her heartbeat begins to go off as her heart begins to race.

“What’s wrong?” He asks her with concern.

Rue liked to hide her pain, she didn’t like to bother others with her problems, so it’s no surprise why she hadn’t said she was hurting before, not until it was obvious to him and everyone in the room.

“I don’t know,” she mutters out between slow labored breaths. “It’s hurting. It hurts…” she trails off.

Joel catches the sound of the nurses talking behind him, but he doesn’t comprehend what they say. it's all just a jumble. He’s just worried about his partner, his Rue, as her heartbeat keeps rising and he notices her grow more and more weaker.

“I,” she mumbles out. “I want to…see her.”

Joel watches her turn her head to look at you in his arms, but her gaze is distant. She tries to reach out, but her attempt is slow, and well then a nurse blocks his way.

“I’m sorry,” the nurse interjects quickly and doesn’t even ask before she begins to reach for you. “We’re going to ask you to step out of the room while we help your wife.”

The nurse tries to take you, but Joel secures his hold around you, whilst he keeps his eyes on his partner. “No, I want to stay with her. What’s wrong with her? What’s wrong?”

“She’s suffering through a postpartum hemorrhage, the doctor is going to help her, but he needs room, okay?” She explains to him with her hands still on you. “We’re also going to take the baby, okay? She’ll be fine. You can go see her at the nursery.” She then snatches you from his arms, and you begin to cry out, adding to the panic in the room and heightening the worry spiking in Joel’s heart.

“I just,” he mutters as he watches the nurse place you in the cradle before he snaps his eyes back to Rue, noticing all the nurses that begin to surround her.

“Mr Miller, if you can please step out,” another nurse cuts in and now begins to touch his arms to begin leading Joel away.

“My wife,” Joel says. “Will she be okay?”

The nurse hesitates since he doesn’t know the definitive answer, but he does answer nonetheless. “We’re going to help her. We’ll let you know when she’s stable, and when you can be with your baby again.”

Joel lets the nurse guide him out, but only because he sees them rolling you out. “My baby,” he then snaps out with concern even though he saw you breathing right, even if you still cried out for the comfort of your parents.

“Will she be okay?”

“Yes,” the nurse assures him. “They’re just doing a routine check up.”

Joel watches you leave the room and then peers back at Rue again. “Rue,” he calls out for her.

But he doesn’t hear her call back, he just hears the heart monitor. He can’t see her either, not even a glimpse, there’s just nurses. “Rue,” he calls out desperately and slows down before he can reach the door.

“Mr Miller please,” the nurse begs him as Joel waits for his partner to respond, to wait if he’d see for himself that she’d be okay. But he sees nothing.

——

*NOW. SOMETIME AFTER SALT LAKE CITY*

“How does that saying go?” Mia asks as she walks up behind you. “Something old…”

“Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue,” Maria finishes for Mia as she joins her behind you too. “I got the something borrowed; the veil I used for my wedding.” She then proceeds to try and clip the long white lace veil on the flower crown on your head, albeit she struggles a bit to clip it on.

Not like you minded, your head is too preoccupied by worry—what if you trip in front of everyone? What if the dress tears while you’re walking? What if…Apollo isn’t at the end of that aisle.

He wouldn’t do that, and you know you have your family to take care of it if he did, but it’s still a concern and a nightmare that plagues your head.

“Something new?” Mia asks and then walks around you to face you. “The earrings we found. Something old?”

“Tommy,” Ellie jokes, causing your lips to break into a smile as you let out a soft snort before you begin giggling for the first time all day today. When you look over at her sitting down by the door as she waits for Maria and Mia to finish getting you ready for the ceremony—your ceremony, she shoots you a small smile that actually provides you with ease.

“No, but really,” you interject after being silent for a long while as the women worked with you and around you. “The gold necklace Apollo’s dad gave me.” You then tilt your head to the side to get a view of yourself on the long mirror beside you, but you’re too nervous to check yourself out so you avert your eyes and continue. “And something blue, my flower crown,” you point to your head, “and my bouquet.”

You look down at the bouquet you gripped onto and stare off at the white daisies that are mixed inside, you then glance at the blue delphiniums that are mixed in the flower bouquet that was all picked from your own backyard, so you could have Sarah with you in your own way since she can’t be here with you now; helping you get ready for your wedding—god that still feels weird think about, you getting married!

And Sarah isn’t here to help you calm down as your nerves are eating you alive and overwhelming you. She isn’t here to stand behind you when you’re up in front of everyone, when you’re beside Apollo the man you’re going to marry. She isn’t here, so you carry her with you with the wildflower bouquet.

“What is that for?” You catch Ellie asking the group. “Is it like some tradition or something?”

You glance at her but don’t answer. You hardly know the answer yourself.

“Yeah it’s exactly that,” Maria answers as she carefully straightens out the small invisible wrinkles on your ankle length skirt. “People believe that when the bride carries or wears them the day of the wedding, that they will have good and happy marriages. It’s up to the person if you choose to believe that or not, but it’s such a used tradition that I think for some it’s just something to look forward to.”

Ellie hums whilst you hum as well.

“Okay,” Maria changes the subject and now you hear her walk around you to face you too. And this time you look up to meet her softened gaze. “You’re ready,” she lets you know sweetly and grabs your arm to turn you around so you can finally look at yourself.

It’s hard to believe it’s you at first reflected in that mirror, in that beautiful white dress that you spared no expense in as it was especially made for you by an older woman here in Jackson since you wanted nothing more but a gown inspired by, of course, Audrey Hepburn’s wedding dress in the movie ‘Funny Face’. The woman said special days like these don’t come often now so she said it was an honor to do what she once would do before. So, that’s not why you’re taken back by your appearance, or the fact that you’re all dolled up, because you’re used to the makeup when you use it for your plays or when you use it just ‘cause when you can. You’re baffled by the fact that you never thought you’d wear white.

No matter how much you’ve changed your mind about this stuff, you just never thought you’d be someone wearing white, someone only minutes away from being married. It’s crazy. It’s fucking crazy!

Yet you still are over the moon seeing yourself with makeup and a pretty white gown. It helps bring some bliss that eases a bit of those nerves.

“You look so perfect,” Maria murmurs with a smile as she stands beside you to admire your reflection in the mirror. You swear you even notice tears in her eyes.

“Look at you,” Mia points out with glee. “You’re so beautiful.” She covers her mouth with her hands, and she actually begins to cry.

You offer your friend a gentle smile, but that’s all, you can’t muster much of anything else.

“You’re going to get married!” Mia exclaims and clutches onto your arm to begin shaking you. And as she does, as you’re radiated by her energy, that realization hits you full on.

“I’m going to get married,” your murmur before your eyes widen, and your lips form back to a smile. “I’m going to get married!”

Mia squeals, so you do too and hold onto her now to begin jumping together with excitement, like a pair of teenage girls—or like the ones you see on tv anway.

Regardless, thanks to Mia you’re riddled with bubbling excitement at the thought that was just scaring you only seconds ago.

“I can’t believe it,” you interject as you come to a slow stop with Mia still in your arms. “It’s crazy.”

“Hell yeah it is,” Mia agrees and pulls back to face you. “But enjoy it. Okay? We don’t get a promise for tomorrow. So enjoy your new life, yeah?”

You nod, and then let out a deep and shaky sigh. “Is it…” You pause as you hesitate to ask her your question. “Is it weird after?”

Mia shakes her head with no hesitation. “Nah,” she assures you. “Besides, he's your best friend. It makes it all easier, that bliss new weds feel is heightened a hundred percent. At least that’s what it feels like with me and my husband.” She chuckles.

You muster a faint grin and nod comprehension. “Okay.”

“It will be good,” Maria interjects as she notices your worry return. “It’s all going to be okay. Like Mia said, just enjoy it.”

Mia lets you go to let Maria reach you again and grab your hands for a second before she cups your cheeks. “Deep breath in,” she instructs and does as she says. “Deep breath out.” She breathes out.

You do as she says and make her smile.

“It’s normal to feel this way,” she assures you. “You’ll be okay.” She then caresses your cheek before she pulls away. “It’s almost time I’ll see you out there, alright?”

You nod and watch Mia walk out with her, whilst Ellie stays in the seat she had been in this whole time. You don’t question her actions though, or tell her to go wait for you outside, you let her stay; you want her to stay as you take another moment for yourself.

“Does my flower crown look crooked to you?” You ask her and face the mirror to look at your white and blue flower crown. “Be honest.”

“I always am,” she rebuttals.

You scoff in amusement and reach for the crown, but only let your hands hover over it since you’re actually still unsure.

“You know,” Ellie interjects from her chair. “We could still go to the moon.”

You blink in surprise, and slowly turn your head to look at her.

“We can find a spaceship and fly to a space station to live in,” she adds and averts her gaze. “Or we can, pft,” she blows out and then suddenly stands up. “Go somewhere else, just you and me. You can become some famous actress,” she adds with a small smile.

You slowly begin to grin and slowly let your hands fall back to your side as you watch her slowly approach you.

“You can be a movie star. I mean someone has to be right? That can be you. Just say the word, I’ll run away with you.”

You scoff softly and turn completely to face her while she stops a few inches away, letting you notice her frown and an upset look in her eyes.

“Sounds like a nice plan,” you tell her sweetly. “But you know we can still do all those things after I get married. Marriage is just a promise of forever between each other, a commitment. I’m not going to be locked away and be some house wife slave.” You assure her and close the gap between the both of you to fix her yellow Rue flower pinned to her shirt.

Ellie drops her gaze and swallows thickly. “Basically is,” she grumbles.

You giggle softly and shake your head. “You say that now, but you wait, someone will sweep you off your feet so hard that you will change your mind. I know that I did.”

Ellie scoffs and meets your gaze with curiosity. “Really?”

“What?” You quip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ellie shrugs. “It’s just you…always seem to know what you want. And well you’re the type to want all those pretty things.”

You hum and shake your head whilst you unhook a strand of her hair to roll it your finger. “No, I was lost for a long time. But, then I met Henry, and…” you smile and let her little curl go to leave it on her face. “He made me see things differently.”

Ellie hums, and that sadness in her dark eyes still remains, letting you confirm to yourself what this protest was really for. She was just afraid of losing you.

She shouldn’t be though.

“Don’t worry,” you add and grab her shoulders now. “I’ll still be here in Jackson. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’m going to be just a few streets down from where you live. In that yellow house with the white fence around it. But…” you add in a whisper. “If you run, I run. It’s just after today, I’m going to have to bring someone else along.”

Ellie lets out a small breath and stays quiet as she just holds your gaze with a soft look. “But,” she adds bluntly. “If he does anything,” she threatens. “I’ll stab him.”

You chuckle and nod. “I’m countin’ on it.”

Ellie shares a timid smile before she pulls away from you and glances at the door. You follow her line of gaze and remember all your worries, only now your heart is racing so everything feels much worse.

“Okay,” you whisper. “I'm ready. Tell ‘em to come in.”

Ellie nods and doesn’t falter, albeit she stops just before she can open the door. “So I stand behind you?”

You nod. “Yep. Maid of honor right behind the bride.”

“Alright,” she mutters before she opens the door and lets your father and uncle Tommy know that it’s time. It’s time to leave this room and walk down that aisle.

Albeit you can’t leave your spot in front of the mirror, you can’t stop looking at the scar on your neck that only reminded you of the burden, and the secrets.

“Wow,” you catch your uncle Tommy say before he lets out a long wolf whistle.

You snap your eyes to the door and see him and your dad walking in slowly with their eyes on you.

“Look at you,” your uncle Tommy adds with a soft smile and an awestruck look. “My little Sunny, you are lookin’’ beautiful.”

You let out a nervous laugh, and a few nervous tears that makes him grow worried right away.

“Why are you cryin’?”

You approach him and finally share what’s been plaguing you all day since you woke up. “I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” He retorts and studies you once more. “You’re used to the crowd—”

“Not that,” you cut him off and sigh. “What if he ain’t there? What if I—I don’t know! Trip! Or-or—”

“Whoa, whoa,” your uncle cuts you off and cups your cheeks. “Calm down. Breathe.”

You draw in a deep breath, and nod as you breathe out slowly.

“One, Apollo is out there waitin’ for you. Everyone is. Two, you aren’t fallin’,” he offers you a grin. “‘Cause I got you.” He caresses your cheek and shoots you a much brighter grin. Tears even cloud his eyes but he doesn’t let them out, instead he carefully wipes yours off. “Now why didn’t you cover up this tattoo?” He points to the little penis tattoo that shows on your sleeveless arm.

You glance at it and smirk. “‘Cause I like it. And maybe it's my somethin’ old, beside you.” You giggle, and he scoffs.

“Why don’t you get on with it?” He counters, letting you pull back and now face your dad who still has his eyes on you. However, right now his eyes are soft, tears are rolling down his face and his smile is trembling.

“Please stop cryin’” your voice quivers whilst you begin to approach him. “Because I’ll cry more.”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “You’re not supposed to cry today.”

“Well I am, who’s gonna do somethin’ about it?” You quip with a teasing smile.

Your dad chuckles softly and then glances down to pull out the yellow rue flower from his shirt pocket, he then leans in and tucks it in your flower crown. “There,” he says. “Now she’ll be with you too.”

You draw in a deep shaky breath and nod as more tears sting your eyes.

“You look,” he sighs softly. “Absolutely breathtakin’ baby girl.”

You gasp and then quickly throw your arms around him to cling onto him for comfort. And as you do more tears stream down his eyes as he’s reminded of those time when you were a little girl who'd greet him after he got home from a long day at work, when you’d cling onto him in the mornings after waking up refusing to let him go because you were heavily attached to him, and at bedtime when you were fast asleep and he was taking you to bed. He remembered all that and held in his sob and only clinged onto you harder hoping he didn’t have to let go.

“You’ll stay,” you mewl out. “You’ll stay with me, right? You won’t leave?”

Your dad scoffs and takes offense to your question. “Of course not. I’m stayin’. And if you want to leave now all you gotta do is say the word and I’ll take you.”

You laugh and shake your head. “No, thank you though. I’m glad I can count on all of you.” You pull back and wipe away your tears to face the both of them with a small but eager smile. “Okay. I'm ready.”

“Okay,” he nods, and your uncle Tommy offers you his arm first.

You carefully hook your arm around his and then follow your dad out to the hall where you can hear the chatter of people outside waiting for you to walk out, you can feel the soft summer breeze sweep in through the open doors, and you can feel your own heart thump in your chest. Maria then catches a glimpse of the three of you now approaching the exit doors and gives the signal that you’re coming, making the chatter slowly come to a stop, and the musicians slowly begin to play a sweet and slow tune.

“Now’s your chance kiddo,” your uncle Tommy whispers as you walk to the door. “If you want to go, we can.”

Without hesitation you shake your head softly and come to a stop under the door frame. “No. I want to do this. I’m ready.” You let out a deep and nervous shaky breath before you glance down at your fathers arm and hook your arm around his too.

There was no way you could choose between the two, they were both too important to you, so as to not have to choose you asked the both of them to walk you down the aisle. And they happily obliged.

Now they both held onto you, whilst you gripped onto their arms out of the racing nerves that ran within you and only ran faster as you slowly begin to walk down the pink flower petalled aisle. The music that played was overpowered by the heavy thumps of your heart, and your stare was averted as you feared seeing an empty space at that other end—so you miss Apollo’s reaction to seeing you in your dress for the first time.

However, just as you reach that last wooden bench placed at the sides of the flower aisle, you finally blink to look ahead of you, and immediately whatever fear that plagued your mind about him not being here vanishes. Because there he is, in that black on black suit with the yellow Rue flower poking out his pocket, with his hair brushed to the side like he usually wore it, with his bright smile, and with a soft and awe-struck look. There he stands waiting, your best friend, partner, and now future husband. There he stands all beautiful under the yellow shining summer sun, and now you’re filled with a blissful joy and comfort.

When you finally stop before him your lips slowly pull to a beaming grin that matches his. Your uncle Tommy lets you go but you don’t notice because you’re captivated by Apollo, it’s not until you feel a kiss on the side of your head that you look at your uncle.

You hadn’t seen it before, but now his eyes were watery and his smile was faint. You don’t say anything even if you want to, but you do press a kiss on his cheek and whisper, “thank you.”

Your uncle sniffles and offers you a soft nod before he joins his family at the first bench, leaving you to turn to your dad who didn’t want to let you go.

“It’s okay,” you assure him and cup his hand with your free one. “I’ll be okay.”

Your dad draws in a deep shaky breath and nods before leaning in and pressing a kiss on your forehead. Your smile softens, and he finally lets you go to give your hand to Apollo.

Apollo takes you away gently but with pleasure. After that you watch your dad sit by your uncle, and then glance over at Ellie to shoot her a small smirk before you look back at Apollo and shoot him a quick smile he matches.

It’s then that the ceremony starts, beautiful words are spoken, vows are shared and cherished; but unlike hearing them from other people and on tv, now they’re special because they’re yours and his. Now they’re a promise between each other, a promise of however long your own forever is.

“Apollo Holloway, will you take this woman to be your wife? To live together in matrimony, to love her, cherish her, honor her, in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live? If so, say, ‘I do’.”

Apollo’s smile softens, and his eyes gleam brightly as he holds your watery gaze and looks at nothing else. Because the truth is no one else exists at this very moment. It’s just you and him in this vast world, it’s just him and you standing in the center of town basking in each others never ending love.

“Of course I do,” Apollo says, making you chuckle softly out of relief.

“Y/N Miller, will you take this man to be your husband? To live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? If so, say, ‘I do.’”

You grip onto his soft hands and nod. “I do,” you say back, causing Apollo to smile.

“With that said,” the officiant says, “I pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

Without a second to spare, as if he’s never kissed you before, Apollo slides his hands up to your cheeks and pulls you in for a deep and passionate kiss that you melt into and deepen as you wrap your arms around his neck.

You probably would have taken longer since you’re so consumed by one another, but you’re both reminded of the people watching as they clap for the new couple, so you pull back first.

“I love you,” Apollo murmurs against your lips.

“And I love you,” you redirect with ease before pressing a gentle kiss on his lips before you both completely pull away and face the crowd that now stands there to celebrate.

And the very first person your eyes land on is your dad, you offer him a happy smile and then look away, but he keeps looking at you. In fact he can’t stop watching you, his eyes follow you around all day, when you run down that aisle, when the banquet starts and you sit by the man you now call husband, as you share glimpses with him as if you’re not right next to each other. He watches you laugh, talk with your uncle and his family, with friends and Ellie, he watches you cling onto Apollo like if somehow one of you was going to disappear. And he watches you dance happily under the soft rays of sun that only brighten your face.

Your dad watches you and hopes that somehow that little girl that once wished to never let go of him came back to him so he can keep on holding you. He was happy for you, of course he was, you were living your life, he wanted nothing more but for you to know normality in this messed up world, but he still wished that time could go back….

“Have you told him yet?” Apollo asks by your ear as you sway along to the music.

You smirk and shake your head. “Not yet. I’ve been waitin’ for the right moment.”

Apollo lets out a deep sigh. “You think he’ll be happy?” He queries.

You giggle and nod. “I think he will be ecstatic.” You look away from your father and watch Ellie talking with some of her friends far away from your dads table.

Their distance washes your smile away and brings back that guilt. “What am I gonna do about Ellie?” You ask and feel thankful that you told him the truth about Ellie’s immunity and what happened at that hospital, otherwise you’d probably go crazy with so much kept in. “I mean…” You trail off and sigh, making Apollo pull back to meet your gaze.

“There’s nothing you can do,” he assures you. “Their choices all fall to them, you can’t force them to do anything. You made your choices and now all you can do is live with them.”

You scoff and avert your gaze. “I was expectin’ some solution.”

Apollo rolls his eyes and pulls you back against him. “That is a solution. An honest one. If I couldn’t be honest with you then we wouldn't be married or best friends.”

You let out a deep breath and drop your chin on his shoulder. “Yeah. You’re right.” You look away from Ellie before you can be consumed by that guilt, and this time you catch Atlas swaying and chugging that alcohol in his bottle.

“I’m glad that we chose to have people write down their toasts,” you say. “Atlas is drunk as hell, who knows what he would say if he could now.”

Apollo chuckles and looks back at his brother playing some drinking games with other drunk people. “No, I think you’re right. But,” he mutters with a teasing smile. “You know we can actually share ours, right now.”

You snicker. “Oh can we? Okay,” you give in and throw your arms around his neck. “Well, you’re my best friend for one. Someone who always knows how to make me laugh, someone who can always make me smile even in the darkest time. Someone who never gave up on me and who never left,” you sniffle and his own smirk fades to a smile. “If I could choose to share my life with anyone, it will always be you, in every lifetime, in every universe.”

Apollo lets out a deep breath and can’t muster a word for a few seconds, all he can do is look all flustered. “Wow,” he interjects. “Now I feel bad that I only wrote you a song.”

You stop dancing and look at him with a serious look. “Don’t mess with me,” you tell him as you slide your hands down to grab his hands. “Did you? A song? For me?” You ask and touch your chest.

Apollo nods. “Yeah. For you.”

You gasp and then squeal with excitement. “I want to hear it! I wanna hear it!”

Apollo gets all cocky now and retorts. “I need my guitar.”

“No,” you snap back, “if you get your guitar then everyone else will hear. I want to hear all by myself first,” you let him know seriously.

“Okay,” he agrees. “Fine, come here.” He says and pulls you in so you can be pressed against him again as he continues to sway you to the music that plays. You may not dance to the beat of what’s playing, but you don’t care because you’re too captivated by his words murmured against your ear as he sings you the song he had written for you. A song that was only for you and no one else. A song so beautiful and meaningful that you shed tears with a smile that hurts your cheeks.

Once it’s over you’re only more in love and feel more desire to just leave the party with him.

Yet you have to hold on for a bit longer.

“I loved it,” you assure him. “I really fucking loved it!” You exclaim and the press your forehead against his. “Now how is it that you know me so well? I mean a song? I’ll never shut up about it.”

Apollo shrugs. “Oh well you know me, and you are only my best friend.”

You giggle and pull him in for a kiss that you Iinger in. When you do manage to pull away Apollo straightens up and begins to show off a playful smile. You quirk your brow and shoot him a confused look.

“Now, my beautiful wife,” he says and puts one hand behind him whilst he stretches out the other to offer it to you.

“Yes, my love,” you play along.

“Would you give me this dance?”

You smile ear to ear and nod before you rest your hand on his, letting him grab onto you before he pulls you in and secures you against him with a hand around your waist.

Rather than leading you in a slow dance like before, regardless of the tempo, Apollo begins to lead you around the dance floor really fast, maneuvering past other dancing bodies and making you laugh the entire time. When he stops it’s to grab your forearm, and it’s an action you don’t question and instead choose to grab his arm to then dance around. You then switch sides quickly and spin around again with giddy smiles on your faces.

There comes a point where you let go of each other but continue to dance together all wildly without caring about the others, letting those who didn’t know already that you in fact are best friends, two kindred souls.

And lastly as the song reaches its end Apollo grabs your hand, and you spin into him and secure yourself by grabbing onto his shoulders, while he grabs your hips to then dip you down for the big finish.

“Swept off your feet?” He probes teasingly in between heavy breaths.

You shrug and let him pull you back up. “Eh, I think there’s been better dance partners.”

Apollo scoffs. “Has there? Who may I ask?”

You smirk and shrug. “A lady cannot tell,” you joke.

Apollo leans in. “I’ll make you,” he whispers before he cups your cheeks and smashes his lips against yours. You giggle between the kiss, and he keeps repeating tell me, but you instead kiss him right back repeatedly. It’s almost like a never ending loop until you hear footsteps approach and stop by you. When you both pull away and look, you see your dad standing there awkwardly.

“Sorry,” he says. “I just wanted to dance with my daughter, if I may.”

Apollo lets you go and nods. “Of course.”

You watch your husband walk off before facing your dad and grabbing his hands. “You want to dance again? Well ain’t that a surprise?”

He scoffs and holds onto you tightly to begin swaying you to the music, letting you slide your hands to his neck. “I dance. I liked dancin’ with your mom—Well she dragged me to dance all the time and I let her.”

You grin. “That’s nice to hear.”

“And I danced with you all the time when you were a little girl,” he adds.

“Yeah when I was a little girl,” you counter. “That was a long time ago.”

“Well I'm not as young as I was then,” he says, making you laugh.

“It’s diaper time isn’t it?” You tease, making him chuckle and nod.

“I’m gonna need a cane too.”

You chuckle louder and add on. “You’re gonna be those cranky old men who are like ‘get off my lawn you heathens!!” You mock his deep voice. “And,” you laugh. “You’re gonna keep their toys that they throw over the fence.”

Your dad narrows his gaze on you with a serious look, but he can’t help but break into a laugh. “Exactly,” he plays along.

You hum and hold his gaze with a adoriation.

“You havin’ fun?” He asks.

You nod. “I am. I'm lovin’ today. It’s perfect.”

He nods and sighs softly. “That’s good, I’m glad.”

“You,” you point out. “You havin’ fun? Met anyone yet?”

Your dad lets out a soft scoff. “As long as you're enjoyin’ yourself I’m happy.” He avoids your second question.

You would press on what you asked, but you let it go and instead press yourself closer to rest your head on his shoulder, reminding him of simpler times again.

That’s why he hung onto you for as long he could, why he secured his hold around you, because he didn’t want you to go. If he could he’d keep you in his arms forever, but alas he couldn’t so he let go. But before he could let go of your hands, he stops you.

“I need to give you somethin’” he says and then digs in his suit coats pocket.

You watch him with anticipation, and only grow intensely more curious when you see that it’s a folded up paper.

“It’s the toast that I turned into a letter since, well, I’m not so good with sharin’ what I feel,” he continues and hands you the letter.

When you take it you want to take a peek, but he pushes your hands down.

“Somewhere quiet,” he lets you know.

“Okay,” you breathe out and swallow thickly as you feel even more curiosity fill your mind. “Okay. Uh, I’m goin’ now I can’t wait.”

He lets out a breathless chuckle and nods. “Yeah, I know you couldn’t. Go on.” He points his head to the side.

So while the party rages on, you find an escape under a tall birch tree decorated with green leaves and lights around the trunk providing a perfect light to read the letter that was itching your curiosity.

To you, my youngest daughter, y/n.

You said to write a toast so I took advantage of this moment and wrote you a letter of all I have to say.

First I want to say that I’m sorry. There will never be an end to my apologies for what I did to you. No matter how dark my time felt, that wasn’t your fault and I shouldn’t have hurt you because of it. I’m sorry. And thank you for forgiving me even if I didn’t deserve it.

Second, one time you told me the things that reminded you of Sarah, now I get to tell you the one thing that reminds me of you when we were apart, and when we’re together. The sun, the way it shines so bright reminds me of you, of your bright smile that never ceases to make me happy even on the worst days when life throws me down. The sun reminds me of your kindness, the same one that would greet me everyday after a long day at work, and the same one that you haven’t lost even now—

You let out a soft scoff and sniffle to avoid crying and staining the paper.

—but most importantly the sun reminds me of simpler times. Times that I sometimes wish we could go back to so I can live forever with Sarah and you, so we can eat breakfast all together again, watch tv and eat all the junk food you want.

But maybe the truth is that I don’t want you gettin any older, I want to hold onto you forever, keep you safe in my own way. But if time didn’t pass then we wouldn’t have Ellie, I wouldn’t get to see this amazing, strong, and beautiful woman that I am so proud of—

You can’t hold back your tears now and draw in a shaky breath to cry out softly in your hand.

—and even if hearing you talk about getting married, even if seeing you in that wedding dress will make me cry and want to turn back the time, I couldn't be happier that you are livin your life, babygirl. Because that’s all I want, that’s all I ask for, all I wish for when you make me blow out my candles on my birthdays, that Ellie and you get to live your lives the way you want them to be.

And yes, I know that it’s hard in these times. I know it’s hard lovin, opening up to someone, and being vulnerable cause of all the horrors outside, but if you ever want to listen to me about something, it’s this; live. Live in the present, don’t think about what might happen tomorrow, next week or next year, live now, cherish today, laugh, smile, cry, just live.

Just know that no matter what happens with the rest of your life you will always be my babygirl, my daughter, and you will always have a place in my heart. So if that guy you’re marrying ever makes you cry just know that I’ll be there for you with my arms open. I love you y/n.

Love, dad.

You beam brightly at the paper and watch as those tears that you refused to let stain the paper before, now fall on the delicate surface.

He’s right he’s never been one to just express what he feels with so much ease, so reading what he held in his heart makes your heart swoon, and makes this day that much more special.

Alas, you fold the paper again, and wipe away your tears to then get up and try to join the wedding feast again before they coming look. Yet just as you press your hands on the ground to try and get up, you hear heavy footsteps approach. When you peer back you see none other than your dad stopping just past the birch tree when he sees you spot him.

“Daddy,” you greet with that same smile, and then push yourself to your feet to run over and throw your arms around him. “Thank you,” you whisper and feel your heart flutter.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he says as he secures his hold around you.

You hum softly. “I loved it.” You then pull back to face him, and out of the whirlwind of happy emotions you can’t contain what you’ve been hiding any longer. So after a deep breath you change the subject. “I have somethin’ I need to tell you.”

“You’re seperatin’?” He jokes.

You giggle and shake your head. “No.” You proceed to grab his hands as you hold his gaze with a bright smile and say it before anyone can interrupt you. “It’s about me—well Apollo and I. And beside the two of us, you’re the first person to know. I mean I wanted to tell you first.”

Your dad begins to narrow his gaze on you as you prolong the news and leave him waiting.

“I,” you sigh softly. “I’m havin’ a baby.”

Your dad stiffens, and his breath catches, making you quickly fill with worry that he didn’t like the news. Yet you don’t ask for reassurance, you hold onto his hands and watch him.

You watch as he slowly breathes out and his eyes gleam with tears. You watch his lips slowly pull to a wobbly but bright grin before wraps you in a sudden hug that takes you by surprise.

“Congratulations, baby,” he whispers softly, letting you sigh with relief and melt into his arms.

“You like the news?” You probe regardless of his comfort.

Your dad lets out a chuckle and nods. “Of course,” he assures you. “Of course I do. It’s the best news I’ve heard. I’m so happy for you,” he says with tears rolling down his cheeks and a happy smile on his face.

.

.

.

.

A/N- What? Joel is getting everything he wants out of his new life? YAY!

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @dgraysonss @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @ririvilliams @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion

#fanfiction #damn-stark #tragedy at the millers #chapter 8 #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou series #tlou hbo #Joel miller #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel tlou #Ellie Williams #ellie tlou #maria tlou #Tommy miller #tommy miller the last of us #oc x fem!reader #getting ready for s2

[spotsandsocks]

Fuck it Friday 🌈

Tagged by @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @wikiangela @disasterbuckdiaz thank you you wonderfully talented people 💕

Sooooo my angst in autum fic is going out this next weekend it even has a name The Price of Love (angst with a happy ending cos I’m well me!) here’s a tiny tease…I’m going with double throwback trauma for Buck (trapped and water) and some helplessness and letting people down for Eddie! Sounds fun huh!

“Pretty stuck huh?” Buck’s trying to keep it lighthearted and Eddie doesn’t really appreciate it. The water’s already moved an inch higher.

“Is it broken? Does it hurt?”

Bucks tone deflates, “um I don’t think so, it’s not too bad, not like before.”

“Have you tried to get it out?” It’s a stupid question. He knows that but his brain is feeling slow, all he can see is Buck’s trapped leg and the way the water is rising.

Blue eyes meet his; yes, it’s a stupid question. He looks away again back to the spot Buck's leg disappears.

And cos it’s FIF I will share another bit of shifter fic …

This is Maddie talking to Bobby.

He was fine for three weeks, he’d healed then I woke up to our mom screaming. She screamed and screamed. It was so loud. I ran in and there he was, cowering in the corner. It was a dog, he was so scared. I thought Evan had smuggled him in but Evan was gone and it wasn’t a dog.

Mom was still screaming and he ran, he ran right past us. Dad opened the front door and he went straight out.

And author!buck under the cut. A bit more from the accident scene.

Hen hands him a blanket from the kit and he wraps it round Buck’s shoulders pulling it tight. The man is definitely heading towards shock now. His hands are shaking as his adrenaline crashes.

“Ok quick check. Name?”

“Buck, um Evan Buckly.”

“Year?”

“2023”

“President?”

“Maybe I don’t follow politics.”

Eddie laughs and is surprised at how relieved he feels that the man is probably ok. “You’d still know the president Buck.”

Buck’s eyes sparkle and focus on him a little better as he answers “Biden.”

“Ok you’re good. I have to keep moving so stay here and someone will get you in an ambulance and to the hospital.”

Eddie notices how Buck’s eyebrows draw together and is instantly worried again.

“What is it ? Headache? Blurred vision, You feel sick?

Buck looks up at him and he really shouldn’t be quite so captivated by bright blues eyes as he is, especially at work. Those distracting eyes hold him captive, as Buck explains.

“No but if I’d said Clinton or Obama would you have stayed with me?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “No” he can’t keep the exasperated smile off his face “but I would have sent you to the hospital sooner.”

Tags for my beloveds @monsterrae1 @shortsighted-owl @rogerzsteven @buddierights @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @spaceprincessem @loserdiaz @heartshapedvows @like-the-rest-of-la @the-likesofus @bekkachaos @giddyupbuck @housewifebuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eddiebabygirldiaz @exhuastedpigeon @stagefoureddiediaz @cowboy-buddie @thekristen999 @canonicallyobserving911

#Buddie wips #911 fox #buddie #buddie wip #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 on fox

[modernchillthings]

I know I just did a little rant about Sooho so let me just talk about Sieun and why he is the way he is (or why I THINK so)

It's pretty obvious his parents neglect him, probably as early as childhood based on that flashback scene. I don't remember which parent said it but one of them most likely did not want to have a child and that outlook can definitely affect the way you raise your kid.

Based on that flashback, they were so unprepared with the thought of Sieun ever getting hurt (he had a broken arm I think?) I get being worried, but that was not worry to me tbh, it was more like they didn't expect raising kids to be so troublesome which is such a ridiculous notion! They get hurt, they get sick and you can't just expect a child to raise themselves no matter how smart or good they are. They need guidance! They need love!

And I don't remember what ep it was but when the dad asked Sieun if he still fell asleep in class or something like that and Sieun responded 'I don't do that anymore'. Idk that made me think that Sieun had like a chronic sleeping thing that he probably managed on his own just so he wouldn't trouble his parents. And the way Sieun at that age, understood how much 'trouble' he seemed to cause his parents, I think that's what started his very 'cold' and 'unfeeling' nature.

And from then on out, Sieun decided not to be a bother to his parents at all. That also made me think...okay, if he didn't want to bother them...then did he want to make them proud of him instead to show that he wasn't gonna be their problem?

And I get it, he's so me lol. Because I try so hard not to be a bother to not just my parents, but honestly any adult authority figure in my life. But the diff is, I kind of strive for that validation whereas Sieun...doesnt seem like he does, or at least not as much as he thought it would. Like what are his goals? Did he even want to go to a big college and be a big time 'something'? I don't even think we learned much about him and his motivations because it's true that he's so studious and gets so many awards and good grades and yes his parents praise him...but Sieun doesn't even look like he wants or cares about those praises anymore.

On the first ep. when he got that award and showed his dad, his dad seemed like he was genuinely proud of him but his reaction was just...😐 perhaps Sieun knows that his purpose in his parents eyes is to generate good grades and be a good kid so he just does that. Like 'ok I've done my purpose, on to the next task' and honestly that's so fucked up.

Anyways, yeah. I feel like he lost any sense of purpose. Maybe back then getting good grades and validation from his parents meant he wasn't being a bother to them and he prolly liked it but after a while, it kind of just burnt him out. Also maybe after his mother left and his dad started being away more often for work, it just didn't seem like it mattered to him but he still keeps going because it's the only thing that will grab his parents' attention. But again, at the same time, idk if he still even wants their attention. He doesn't even want to try anymore

When he was eating with his mom, you could tell the mom was distracted and Sieun must have felt so discouraged because he must have felt like a task to her, like something on her to do list to check off because how easily she pushes aside Sieun's presence and assumes he was done eating. Like she was already standing up, like she was waiting for an interruption. Sure, Sieun never said anything or expressed his needs but only because his parents never tried to understand him in the first place and idk...be an ACTUAL PRESENT ADULT FIGURE IN HIS LIFE!!

Sieun is such a complicated and interesting character and my only wish was for him to snap at his parents at least once. He almost did it with his dad at the hospital but he held back which he shouldn't have!! Yell at them! They deserve it! (hopefully we'll see that in s2)

I never really knew I would be so attached to him. Usually I get drawn towards the Sooho-type (and dont get me wrong, I love him too) but something about Sieun just makes me want to wrap him in a blanket and never let him go and give him the proper love and care and attention he deserves!

#plus park jihoon is such a brilliant actor #he just elevates the character #this was another long one #it's just mostly stream of consciousness bc like I said before #this show has occupied my brain and I want to get it out of my system!! #weak hero #weak hero class #weak hero class 1 #yeon sieun #park jihoon

[maccreadysbaby]

IM LITERALLY SCREAMING AT THE CLIFF HANGER?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!? WHAT HAPPENED TO LOGAN?????? YOUR KILLING ME SMALLS 😩

Oh my gosh I love you 😭😆 you’re precious

< prev part

next part >

NEVER LEAVING™︎

of all the things y/n had imagined doing with her sons, catching an emergency flight to Santa Monica, California, at ten pm wasn’t one of them

climbing off a plane in California and immediately getting into a military-grade vehicle with violently tinted windows and a man she’d never met was unnerving, but Hesh had told her that was who she was looking for

it was almost six in the morning when the three of them arrived at Fort Santa Monica, where Logan stayed between missions

they were greeted out front by Hesh, who was sporting a really believable “I haven’t slept in two days” look

”hey, guys,” he shared quick hugs with them all. “He wanted to wait for you to get here but surgery was too critical. We have our best medical staff on him now. We aren’t sure how much longer it’ll take”

y/n had nearly fainted when hesh first called her and said that Logan had been standing mere feet away from an active land mine

That someone set off

and now, there the three of them were, waiting in the commons area of Fort Santa Monica for their Logan to come out of surgery

Hesh kept walking in and out, asking what they needed, if they were okay, how he could help

Merrick walked in once and tried to hold a conversation, but he wasn’t very good at it

Keegan was a little better, not panicking as much as Hesh so he was able to hang out with the boys and get their minds off of everything for a while

Y/n had never met Kick before, but he brought blankets and pillows into the room for them incase they were tired after their travels, and — though he was silent — the tight lipped smile he sent her way definitely did more good than harm

she finally used her mom voice on hesh (which the boys found entertaining) to make him sit down and stop walking all over the place, trying to help him calm his nerves

but it didn’t help because the very moment he stopped distracting himself, and let himself take in the reality of everything, he started crying

and y/n was just at a loss because she’d never seen that side of her brother-in-law before

keegan was quick to take the boys somewhere else, like “let’s go check out the vehicles we got in the hangars” or “you’re not really allowed in the armory but I don’t think a peek will hurt” because he’s precious and didn’t want them to worry anymore about their dad because of hesh’s emotions

for a while y/n just held hesh, too, because she remembered how badly she needed to be held when Logan found her on the kitchen floor. And she definitely wasn’t just going to not do anything

it took a while for him to calm down, but she didn’t mind. She knew the toll being called back into the line of fire was taking on Logan and, as far as she knew, hesh had just been keeping it all to himself. So she just patted his back and let him take his time

it wasn’t very long after that, though, that Keegan came back into the room with the boys on his heels, announcing that Logan was in recovery

the lot of them practically ran through Fort Santa Monica just to reach the recovery room, where Logan lay peacefully in a hospital bed, cut up and bruised, but breathing

Y/n and the boys sat in chairs around his bed for what felt like hours. Hesh was going to give them space but she insisted that Logan would want to see him, too, when he woke up

The sun was going down again, and he still wasn’t awake. Elliot was stretched out across two chairs, laid over in hesh’s lap, totally dead asleep, and McKade had — despite a few quiet arguments from his mother — squished his tiny self into the open space in the hospital bed next to Logan and fell asleep there.

And only when hesh had fallen asleep and y/n was nodding off, did Logan rouse

she almost flew out of her chair

It took Logan a few minutes to focus on everything around him, but when his eyes landed on y/n, his eyes watered up

”y/n,” he breathed, stretching out a hand toward her. She grabbed it tightly and leaned down, placing a kiss on his head

”hey, baby”

he glanced down at McKade and smiled softly, blinking back the tears in his eyes as he lifted a hand and ruffled his son’s hair

McKade woke up quickly and, when he caught sight of his father awake, exclaimed excitedly: “dad!”

and that woke up Hesh and Elliot

and for a while, everyone was either crying or nearly crying, because there Logan was, breathing, heart beating, alive

“Y/n,” Logan stated, peering up at her. She was immediately by his side, and he continued: “I’m never leaving you again.”

she smiled and chuckled quietly as she batted away the tears in her eyes

“I cant serve anymore,” he continued. Y/n knitted her brows together, cocking her head to the side

”what do you mean?”

he lifted up the blanket with a wince, and sitting neatly beneath the sheets, unbeknownst to everyone else, was a metal prosthetic where his left leg used to be

y/n’s mouth fell open, and she turned and laid her head on his chest, hugging him gently, whispering: “oh, baby…”

she felt him kiss her on the hair lightly “it’s going to be a change, but it’s okay, because I’ll really never leave you again”

#cod ghosts #call of duty ghosts #logan walker x reader #call of duty logan #logan walker #hesh walker #merrick cod #call of duty keegan #keegan p russ #kick cod

[russellsppttemplates]

y/n and mick calling angie their child, so they’re like calling each other mom and dad when talking to her 🥹

"Oh, you're here! Hello, liebling, did you have a good flight?", Mick asked as you joined him and the rest of the team in the hospitality, "I did, it was very calm, no delays or anything. Your mum just sent me a picture of our child, she's doing fine, playing with Bobby", you showed him the screen with the picture Corinna had sent you, so distracted by it that you didn't even hear George approach you, "how are the parents doing without their child for the weekend?", George asked, his hand squeezing your shoulder to greet you as he smiled, "she seems to be better than we are, to be honest".

.

"Do you think that's mama? I'm not sure, it's a bit earlier than usual for her", Mick said as Angie got up from her spot on the ground, her tail wagging while she went for the door, patiently waiting for the owner of the noise she heard to come inside, "it's me, Mick!", Gina said on the other side of the door, leaving the young man to open it, Angie looking a bit deflated despite still greeting her with a lick of her hand, "was she expecting Y/N?", his sister asked while she petted the dog's head, "were you expecting your mama? If she's your mama, then I must be your auntie, I guess".

.

"Papa is very crazy, always doing things like that", you pointed, seeing Mick fall from his surfboard, "but the looks cute doing it, right?", you said outloud, almost hoping Angie would agree while ruining another tennis ball, "you're cute too, baby, don't worry", you said while you rubbed her furry belly, so absorbed in the moment that you didn't notice Mick leave the wave pool and approach you, "Hello, my loves", he startled you. "See? Crazy, I tell you", you said after jumping slightly on your seat, "you did really well, bub. It's a shame you fell on the last one, you did really well, didn't he, Angie? Didn't papa do a really good job?".

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

#mick schumacher blurb #inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb

[mooncherrv]

In Your Dreams - Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia

Character(s): Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia x Doctor!Reader Genre: Fluff Summary: Mickey keeps seeing the same person over and over in his dreams but he knows for a fact he has never seen them before. He starts to wonder if it has more meaning than a simple dream. Author's Note: Fanboy my lil meow meow Masterlist

"Hey Bob, can I ask you something?" Fanboy said as he sat down next to Bob in the Hard Deck. "If this is going to be about a Star Wars debate again, then, no. If it's not then maybe." Bob said as he set his drink down. "It's not a Star Wars debate, I promise. I wanted to ask you if you think dreams can mean something." Fanboy laughs remembering going to Bob to settle the debate he had with Coyote over which Skywalker was the best. "Well, I think it depends on what kind of dream it is. Like, those dreams we have where everyone's skin is neon colours? No. Those are just dreams. Why? What kind of dreams are you having?" Bob questioned. "Don't laugh at this, but, I keep seeing this girl in my dreams. I've never seen her in my life but she keeps showing up in my dreams and I'm starting to think it might mean something but I don't know what it could be." Fanboy told the aviator. Bob smiled at him while Fanboy's face showed no other emotions but confusion. "That happened to my mom. She told me the only reason she agreed to date my dad was because she had seen him constantly in her dreams while she was growing up. They never met until college but once he asked her out she knew those dreams happened for a reason. Perhaps this dream girl is your soul mate and you'll meet her soon." Bob explained.

The dream conversation happened a few months ago yet it never left Fanboy's mind, and the girl continued to show up in his dreams. He was still very confused by everything and after about 6 months of the dreams occurring he convinced himself it meant nothing at all and Bob's story about his parents was merely a coincidence. That was until he ended up in the hospital and having her standing right in front of him. "How do you feel Mr. Garcia?" she asked as she looked up from her clipboard. "You can just call me Mickey but I feel fine. Nothing really feels out of the usual." he responded. "That's good to hear. Nothing looked concerning on your tests so you should be ok to go back to work tomorrow. Just try to take it easy, Mickey. If anything changes though come back and we'll see if we missed anything."

The following day Fanboy remained distracted, so much so that the rest of the crew began to notice how out of it he was. Normally he'd walk into work and strike up a conversation with Bob about some sci-fi show the two watched or he's once again try to convince Hangman that he should watch Star Trek (Which Hangman did in fact watch in his free time but would never let Fanboy have the pleasure of knowing.) Instead he simply sat at his desk filling out paperwork in silence. The entire day he barely spoke, constantly lost in his own thoughts. The other passed it off as him being tired considering he had an incident during training which landed him in the hospital the other day. The first person he spoke to that day was Bob, who was pleased to see his younger friend talk as he began to worry something had gone wrong. "Remember those dreams I told you about?" The younger boy asked. Bob's head tilted as he thought about the many conversations the two had. "The weird goo monsters dream or the recurring dreams about a girl?" He asked. "Bob, this is not the time for jokes. Yes, the dreams about a girl. I saw her yesterday. Like, saw her in person. I spoke to her and I know her name and she spoke back." Fanboy said, worry showing in his voice. "Shouldn't that be a good thing? You know she is real and now you can hopefully see her again." Bob smiled. "She was the doctor that assessed me. I doubt I would see her unless I was back at the hospital. Even then, it looked like she doesn't usually work in the ER, she had a teddy bear nametag and bright rainbow sneakers on." he responded it defeat. "Well obviously you just need to get a kid then and take them in for a checkup with your dream girl." Bob joked, earning a glare from Fanboy. "Jokes aside, if you keep seeing her in dreams and she really is supposed to be in your life you will see her again. Just wait for things to work themself out on their own." Bob told him. The issue with Bob's advice was that Mickey felt like he couldn't wait to see her again. So, despite all his morals he was raised with and how stupid it seemed, he faked injuries and specifically requested one specific doctor to see him.

"Mickey, this is the 5th time I have seen you this month." she said as she walked into the room. He had to admit this felt like a really low point in his life, faking injuries just to see a girl. "I fell and hit my arm on a crate at work. I think I might have dislocated my arm." Mickey says as he gives her a small smile. Rather than checking his arm she just sat in the chair in front of him and looked at him. "The last 4 times you showed up the alleged injuries you suffered were not there at all. I figured maybe it was just phantom pains from your incident the first time you came in but after the 4th visit it began to seen like you just enjoy hanging around in the emergency room. So, Michael Garcia, why do you keep coming into the ER and specifically requesting to be seen by a doctor that works in the pediatrics ward?" she asked. Mickey sighed in defeat before he spoke. "This might sound stupid, but, I kept seeing you in my dreams months before I had my first ER visit. After the first visit I could not stop thinking about you and I didn't know another way to see you again." The two sat in silence for a moment after he admitted that to her. The silence was broken when she let out a soft laugh and looked up and smiled at him. "I've also seen you in my dreams. I was surprised when I saw you the first time but I figured it happened for a reason since I usually don't work in the ER but I was covering a friend's shift since she was sick." she said. Mickey looked at her with a shocked expression. "I must admit though, you could have just came back to talk to me regularly. I admire your efforts though, it's sweet." she spoke once again. "So what does that mean now? Am I allowed to ask you out on a date then, doctor?" Mickey asked. "Technically, no. I think it might break patient and doctor rules, but, if you just so happened to run into me at the Hard Deck at" she paused to look down at her watch "maybe 8pm today I would no longer be on the clock." she smiled before standing up. "It was nice seeing you again, Mickey. Hopefully next time I see you it won't be for an alleged injury."

#top gun #top gun maverick #mickey fanboy garcia #mickey garcia #mickey garcia x reader #fanboy x reader

[sortofanobsession]

One More Diaz (911 Buddie A/B/Ω AU WIP) Part 2

Author Note: Part 2 of Probably 3. Unbeta'd and posted on mobile so there might be issues that need to be corrected. Bonding bite time!

Minors do not interact. I write mature themes.

Content warning: Male Alpha/ Male Omega pairing, mpreg, angst, vomiting, morning sickness, injury, biting, fear, anxiety

Alpha Buck/Omega Eddie

Part 1

Eddie had started to think that everything would be manageable. Eddie’s doctor had given him an all-clear for the restricted work load. Buck had been there for the ultrasound and even if the pup was too small to be recognizable, it was still there. It was clear in black and white. That was their pup. And Buck had stuck a copy of it on the firehouse fridge. And no one complained. Someone even stuck a little magnet with a fire hat sticker on the tiny blob of a developing pup and the omega couldn't help but laugh.

He and Buck could handle everything. The first shift they had a problem was three weeks after everyone found out.

A call to a warehouse fire went to shit when the poorly maintained floor of the second level gave out and when Bobby had called out for everyone to check in Eddie thought he might pass out when Buck had been slow to report back. The omega had to step away from the poor guy suffering from smoke inhalation and minor burns for a moment. He had to try and reign in his reaction. Once he was sure he wouldn't burst into tears and be a distraction he returned. Hen gave him a reassuring look without saying anything else. And the omega was grateful to have her there. When the job was done and they were back at the firehouse, Buck hadn't even hung up his gear before Eddie was in his space. And the alpha didn't mind. He didn't blame the omega. Eddie had barely gotten to see his alpha before the ambulance was heading off to the hospital.

“Didn't mean to scare you, Eds,” the alpha says as he hugs his omega back. “I'm good. My mask got messed up and I had to fix it before I could report in.” Eddie's grip tightens. “You know the drill.” He feels Eddie's nod more than he sees it with how the omega’s face is tucked against his throat. The alpha wonders how he can stand having his face in the sweaty firefighter’s neck. “Eddie,” Buck starts when he feels how shaky the omega is. The alpha looks over at the rest of the team. Bobby gives the younger alpha a small smile as he approaches.

“It's okay, take a minute,” Bobby says.

Buck guides Eddie to sit on the edge of the truck and the alpha is worried at how quiet the omega is. The alpha makes quick work of his gear.

“I’ll handle it, you go,” the captain assures him.

“Thanks, Bobby,” Buck says. He goes over and after assuring Eddie that he's okay again. He leads the omega to a quiet corner of the loft.

Eddie seemed more himself by the next call.

By the end of the shift, the alpha can tell that the omega is exhausted. They don’t need a bond for the alpha to know that. He just needed eyes. He has an idea he wants to discuss with Eddie, but he can tell now isn't the time. Most of the next day is spent with Eddie snuggling on the couch with Christopher when he is home. And the alpha is so proud of the boy. Christopher had become increasingly independent as he got older but he must have been able to tell his dad needed the attention. And he seemed more than happy to indulge his dad. So it had been a quiet day for the most part.

“Would it make you feel better if we were bonded?” Buck asks after Christopher has gone to bed. That had the omega stopping short as he got ready for bed. Eddie looked back at the alpha.

“Seriously?” The omega stares at him.

“Okay, I'm going to be honest right now and admit that I have no idea what you are thinking right now,” Buck admits.

“Right,” Eddie says before disappearing into the bathroom and leaving the alpha to wonder if he really truly messed up. The alpha has to squash the urge to either follow Eddie or to try and explain himself through the door. He didn't want to wake Christopher that was for sure. He changes into his sleep pants and tosses his shirt into the hamper before sitting on the edge of the bed to wait for Eddie. He wasn't going to just ignore what he'd asked. He was caught off guard when he had expected to have to argue his point but instead, he ended up with the omega in his lap and eager lips on his. And it escalates from there.

“This weekend,” Eddie says.

“What?” Buck asks, his brain still recovering from the omega pretty much jumping his bones. Not that he had any complaints. A pregnant omega could be almost as insatiable as one in heat. The only difference is that it wasn't out of a drive for procreation. It was out of a want to connect with their partner, their mate, to strengthen a bond.

“Chris has a birthday sleepover for a classmate,” the omega explains. “Unless you changed your mind...”

And the alpha realizes that Eddie was answering his question from earlier. Buck wraps his arms around Eddie and pulls him close. He nudges the omega with his nose. And kisses his temple.

“I’ve been wanting to make you my mate since I met you,” Buck assures him.

“You hated me, when you met me,” Eddie huffs.

“Because you were fucking built and you fit so well on the team it was overwhelming. I mean, I thought you were an alpha and that was confusing as hell. I'd never been into that.”

Eddie laughs. “Good thing I wasn't one.”

“I'd have been all for whatever you were,” the alpha admits and that warms something deep in the omega. “You’re it for me.”

And that brings tears to Eddie's eyes. He almost told Buck to just bite him now if Buck wanted.

“Buck,” he starts, his emotions flooding his voice. “Alpha.” He props himself up so he can actually see Buck. “I want nothing more than to be mated to such a beautiful and loving alpha. You are my alpha. My-” his voice fails so he makes his point by moving the alpha’s hand to his stomach. The alpha catches on as he rubs the omega's warm skin.

“This weekend,” Buck agrees before pulling the omega in for a kiss.

The next few days seem to drag on. Christopher even got annoyed at how antsy the pair were. But every time he pointed it out, they told him they were just excited to have a full weekend off. Christopher didn't really dig deeper. He had plans of his own that he needed their help with. Eddie had taken him to pick a gift for his friend. Buck had happily helped him wrap it. And Buck had been asked to be the one to drive him. And despite the omega internally pouting because his boy didn't pick him. He loved how much Christopher loved his Buck. Buck was his favorite person more often than not. And Buck adored Christopher. The alpha treated the boy as his own. The omega hoped that never changed. Knowing Buck, it wouldn't. He had more than enough heart to share. Buck would be there for Christopher until Christopher decided otherwise. And the omega doubted that would ever happen. Christopher was more than happy to have another dad, though Buck had been his favorite almost immediately after meeting him. Eddie would love for the two to never change. But things were already changing, in a good way. He just hoped Christopher would be happy that they would be even closer as a family soon.

Eddie was eagerly waiting for Buck. The omega had triple-checked that Christopher had everything he could possibly need for the night. The young teen didn't put up much of a fight when his omega dad insisted on a hug before he left.

The scent that hit Buck as he made his way into the home was nearly intoxicating. The alpha had never felt happier to be home. Buck pulls Eddie to him as soon as the front door is closed and locked. No one would be bothering them for the next 12 hours or so. Buck had let his sister know what was up, which meant Chimney knew, and if he knew, so did Hen. Which meant Athena knew. Buck knew Athena knew. He didn't even have to tell her when he'd dropped by to bring some paperwork to Bobby. With a knowing look and wink, she'd told Buck to have a nice night and they'd see him at family dinner on Sunday. So they doubted either of them would hear from Bobby either. Everyone was just happy their oblivious idiots were finally getting it over with. They all knew this was coming, and even had a betting pool. The betting pool was taken by Hen who had been the only one to figure it was a pup that tipped the scales.

But any annoyance they had at their friend's betting on their love life was forgotten when Eddie melted into Buck's embrace.

“You ready? You sure-” the alpha starts to ask if Eddie is sure this is what he wants. His words dissolve into an amused laugh when Eddie shoves the alpha against the wall.

“Don't ask stupid questions,” the male omega insists. “Have been since you put the idea out there last week. Now, shut up and-” His words fail him this time as Buck changes their position. The omega now pinned to the wall. The alpha playful nips at the omega's bottom lip which falls open with a moan as he grinds against him. But the alpha isn't going to let this continue in the hall, not like this. This was Eddie, his pregnant mate, almost. He deserved better.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Buck grinned. That earned him an annoyed grunt and slight shovstir-crazy omega. The alpha couldn't help but laugh again before pulling the omega along with him down the hall to their bedroom.

The alpha slowly kissed along the omega's jaw. The hyper-aware omega wants to be annoyed at his partner’s slow teasing, but again, his body betrays him as a shiver runs through him. A moan falls from his lips as the alpha moves along his neck. So near the alpha's destination. A whine escapes Eddie as the alpha pulls away to get a good look at his omega.

“Tease,” Eddie glares, but the action was half-hearted and Buck could tell. Eddie was well on his way to wrecked and they had barely started.

“Couldn't resist, you always look so-”

The alpha is cut off by a growl from the male omega. Eddie grinds back against him.

Buck lets out a breathless chuckle but leans back in. “Since you asked so nicely,” the alpha says before kissing his neck. With no further preamble, the alpha sinks his teeth into the omega’s skin. Claiming the omega as his mate.

Eddie nearly blacks out the overwhelming feeling of a bond forming is almost too much for the hypersensitive omega. But it felt wonderful. He felt breathless and lightheaded.

“You still with me?” Buck asks.

“Mmhmm,” Eddie nods as his brain seems to catch up with everything he feels.

“You sure?” Gentle hands shift them until Buck can get a good look at Eddie's face. The alpha’s worry eases when a callused hand grips the side of his neck.

“I'm good,” the omega smiles. Before Buck can question further Eddie pulls him into a kiss. It's unlike any kiss they'd had. They get lost in relearning each other in the warmth of a bond. Bonded mates.

They try not to let their bond interfere as they work. Shared shifts haven't changed much other than having the constant awareness the other one is near without even having to look. It's reassuring, especially for Eddie. It helps quell the uneasy feeling of watching his mate run headlong into danger without the omega there to have his back. Assurance that he would know if something happened, even from the outside.

Separate shifts had the same assurance but with an added longing for their mate being too far away. The pregnancy hormones didn't help but Eddie would endure it. Buck shouldn’t have been surprised how even he felt it. Then again, Buck always missed Eddie when he wasn’t around. It’s part of why he had worked so hard to get back after every injury and setback. It felt like they had something to prove again. Only this time it wasn’t an injury. It was more than that. They had to prove they could manage being a bonded pair and still do their jobs. On the same shift or not.

Eddie complains when he has to have his uniform replaced because his usual set no longer fits. Everyone keeps telling him it’s only the start, but it’ll be worth it. Buck is helpful at times like that. Eager to remind his mate how much the alpha likes his new look.

The sonogram on the fridge gets updated every few weeks. Things went well until Eddie was about 24 weeks along. They get called out to a car accident. And the omega gets an uneasy feeling about it. At first, he thinks it's probably because it reminds him of Shannon. But lots of things still make him think of Shannon, especially when he looks at Christopher. Or checks in with his former in-laws. But he just had a bad feeling. Buck must feel it through the bond because the alpha is on edge. It has Buck being extra vigilant. But no amount of vigilance could prevent what happened from happening. A driver that had either been frustrated by the delay caused by the accident or had been too distracted to even notice it clipped the front of the ambulance. Thankfully no one was in the rig but the collision ended up connecting with the stretcher that the pair of paramedics had been waiting with. Hen and Eddie scrambled to get out of the way, and both did for the most part. Bobby was immediately calling for backup and PD assistance to help re-secure the scene. Buck and Chimney rushed over to check on them.

“Eddie!” The alpha drops down to his knees next to where his mate had ended up. The alpha wants to touch but he has no idea where. The last thing he wants to do is make anything worse. So he asks, “Look at me.” Eddie's eyes meet his. “What hurts?”

The omega would normally brush it off and tell the other man to do his job. But they were right on the edge of that 24-week viability mark. And that had Eddie trying to figure out what exactly he might have injured. A lot of his body was often sore from pregnancy as is. His shoulder hurts. That was probably from taking the brunt of the fall. The shoulder having more recently taken a bullet didn't help but that was pain he could live with if needed to. “Shoulder doesn't feel great,” he states. Buck shifts to let him lean against him instead of the omega’s shaking arms, bracing his back as best he can without aggravating the shoulder.

“Anything else?” The alpha asks.

“I don't think so, but that might just be adrenaline,” he says honestly.

“Think you can get up?” Buck asks.

Eddie realizes that he is sort of in the middle of the road which is definitely not a good place to be with what just happened. “Yeah, probably a good call.” He doesn't bother trying to hide the pain in his shoulder as the alpha helps him up. Buck would feel it through the bond even if he did. So why waste the effort?

By then the other crews were starting to arrive. Both cars' occupants are now managed by other crews and PD. And their ambulance is set to be towed. The team loaded into the truck and headed to the hospital. Bobby wasn't taking any chances and no one argued. Eddie's good shoulder leans against Buck in the truck. The ache in his shoulder grew with each bump in the road. He tries to focus on anything but the pain. But one bump has him gasping and tears in his eyes. He hadn't felt the pup move since everything went to shit. But the little one must have not been a fan of Chim’s driving because the unborn pup was moving now.

“What’s wrong?” Buck asks. The alpha's hands move to try and help but Eddie takes his mate's hand and places it over the spot where he is pretty sure a tiny foot keeps kicking. The alpha is quick to pull off his gloves and has tears in his own eyes. It was a good sign the pup was okay. He doesn't move his hand the rest of the ride. A feeling of relief floods the bond enough to nearly choke the omega, but he gets it. That's why he reacted the way he did. It meant he hadn't lost their pup.

The ER doctor confirmed that apart from some nasty bruising along Eddie's arm and shoulder both he and the pup seemed fine. It would be a painful couple of weeks while he healed without any painkillers stronger than a couple of Tylenol. But he'd manage, considering he was told in no uncertain terms by Bobby that he didn't want to see him at work for at least 2 weeks. And insisted Buck take a few days just in case. Eddie had tried to argue that it left them too short staffed but Bobby had just pointed out that the rig was out of commission, so a few days wouldn't hurt.

Buck was hyper-vigilant once they got home. Eddie waved him off insisting he could manage getting to the room on his own. Leaving the alpha to explain why they were home early to Carla, and more importantly, Christopher. Which meant as soon as Christopher knew he was off down the hall after his dad. Carla had demanded more details and stole the after-visit instructions. Buck hadn't argued. After Carla added a few notes, on looking after not just any injured pregnant omega, but this particularly stubborn one, she told the alpha to call if he needed to and headed out.

The alpha feels some of the anxiety and finally heads to check on the pair.

“I promise it's okay, bud,” he hears his mate say. “It's bruised, but not broken. We’re okay.”

The alpha wasn't sure what the younger Diaz replied because the sound of the bedroom TV drowns it out. Guess that meant neither would be leaving there for a while. And that was perfectly fine with Buck. His two favorite people, technically three, in one spot. Safe and sound. Buck would make sure of it.

The alpha smiled as he looked through the open door. His inner alpha finally relaxed knowing his pack was okay. Eddie had managed to settle in his favorite spot in his pillowed nest. Christopher nestled in on his good side, now watching some cartoon, unbothered by the fact his omega father had scented him. Buck would have to be the one to extricate everyone, but the alpha didn't mind. If that is where his mate wanted to be, that was fine with him.

“You just going to stand there or what?” Eddie asks.

“You two look cozy,” Buck says as he nears them.

“I didn't even know we had this many pillows,” Christopher says. Eddie tries hard not to laugh and mostly succeeds. He manages to not jostle his arm too much in the process.

“We do have a lot,” the alpha grins.

“Are you mocking my nest? That's not very nice,” Eddie gives an exaggerated pout. “It's a normal omega thing. It-”

“It's very, you,” Buck says as he carefully makes his way in, trying not to aggravate his mate’s injuries. He ignores the eye roll from his omega at being treated so gingerly. But no one complained.

“It's a good nest,” Christopher assures his dad.

Eddie settles back against a pillow that had moved in with Buck. It may have been Buck’s for a long time but the alpha didn't mind losing his favorite pillow if his mate was happy. They settled in watching some random show Christopher had found. The soft and warm nest has the injured and exhausted omega asleep before the episode's credits.

Eddie found it amusing that between Buck and Christopher, the omega was pretty much on bed rest for over a week. It was enough to drive the usually active dad stir-crazy. The first few days had been fine. He was tired and sore. He didn't want to move. He just wanted to sleep. His mate had made sure he was as comfortable as an injured and pregnant omega could be. Christopher had volunteered for his fair share of cuddles. To which the omega was grateful for.

Carla was there when Buck had to go back to work. As much as he hated shifts when Eddie wasn't there, it was going to happen.

They are a bit more cautious as the days tick by. One quiet day off a few weeks later Eddie is relaxing on the couch while Christopher watches TV. The omega smiles when he feels a now familiar, but still amazingly reassuring, feeling of the pup moving around. He gets an idea.

“Chris, come here,” Eddie says with a grin.

Christopher eyes his dad skeptically but the boy can tell his dad seems happy.

“What?” Christopher asks with amusement.

“Give me your hand,” the omega says.

“You're weird,” Christopher says but does as his dad asks. Buck, hearing the odd conversation and the TV no longer playing, becomes curious. The alpha made his way to the living room where the two had been while he made lunch. The comfort and love flowing through the bond is unbelievably comforting. Pairing that feeling with the sight before him is nearly overwhelming in the best way possible. 

Eddie grins as he guides his son’s hand to his stomach. And both Eddie and Buck can tell the moment Christopher feels it. All the weirdness from doing what his dad asked vanished. His eyes go wide in awe. 

“Feel that?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah,” Christopher says. 

“You know what that is, right?” Buck asks as he joins them. Eddie chuckles at the eye roll from the young teen.

“It's the pup,” Christopher says.

“Crazy, right?” Buck says, ignoring the sassy nature of Christopher's actions. “That's your little brother or sister.”

Eddie hadn't taken his eyes off his son. It was sweet how even after the omega let go of Christopher's hand the boy hadn't moved much. He was still tucked beside his dad on the couch, his hand getting kicked by his unborn sibling. 

“That's good, right?” Christopher asks. 

“Yeah, means the little pup is moving which means they are healthy,” Eddie assures him.

“Probably happy too,” the alpha adds.

“That's good,” Christopher says as he finally pulls back and settles in beside his dad. And Eddie feels like he could cry with how happy he is. Christopher wasn't the most cuddly now that he was getting older. Eddie wonders if it's because he's learned in school about the secondary genders. He knew his dad was an omega. And omegas tend to be more tactile. It also might be that Christopher has always been a sweet boy, especially when it came to his dad, even Buck. Either way, Eddie is proud of his son. He was going to be a good big brother. He already was so gentle with his little cousins, especially Jee-Yun. Eddie couldn't wait to see Christopher with his little sibling.

[spoonyglitteraunt]

This is a vent post. Because no-one I usually go to with this stuff is currently awake. So not tagging it and will likely delete it come later today. But I need to put this somewhere lest it builds up more. So you all get to ride this emo train with me.

Just. If medical anxiety, cancer scare, fears around parental death and existential dread for the future are things you can't deal with right now feel free to skip. I don't blame you. I wish I could skip this.

I'm scared. Plain and simple. I'm scared.

My dad has been having episodes of peeing blood and he's finally getting it checked out. Last week he had a scan and they found something. They just don't know what since those scans don't do well with empty organs. They just have a rough size estimate of somewhere between 3 to 9mm. So in a few hours he has an exam to stick a camera up there and go see what's up.

And I'm scared.

I'd been oddly, surprisingly, uncharacteristically chill about it all week. Really not my usual. I was all, no need to stress, chances are it's just a polyp and even if it's not it's not big right? (No I have no concept of what are usual sizes of the T word are and looking it up now would be an extremely bad, no good, terrible idea.) But where I was chill all week, I'm not so much now. As in not at all actually.

It wasn't bad throughout the day, but once night fell it got progressively worse by the hour. While playing a game to distract myself it was still manageable, but once in the dark, trying to sleep, and nothing to focus on. Yeah chill is so far removed from what I am now that it's in another universe entirely. So far it's 7am and no sleep was had. Don't know if I'll get any. I should, because if it's bad news I also won't get any sleep after. But mind is not having it. And the aforementioned no one to talk to doesn't help.

All the fears, all the existential dread. All the everything. Because pitiable as it sounds with how my life has gone he's my rock. My emotional support. He is the one semi functioning cog in this broken down household of a health issues collectathon. And well, my parents are all I have.

It feels like we were finally starting on making some preparation for the future. Starting being the operative word there. As I'm the greyest of grey zones no one knows how to help other than passing the buck. And now I fear it will become a trial by fire as so much of my life has already been. And I'm still as fire proof as dry straw.

Where a few days ago I almost felt like it would be ok. That we'd sort things out, and make plans, and I'd learn. Learn to somehow take care of myself despite everything. Somehow. Figure it all out by the time I'd need it. Somehow. Now I'm right back to feeling small. Small and helpless. And I hate it.

I can't help wondering if I was fooling myself. That I'm just destined to end up bounced around from hospital to hospital to a retirement home, because there are just are no accomodations for people like me. The fact I've once spent five weeks in a hospital room with someone like that. Someone like me, who'd been forced to live exist like that and was pretty much left to waste away. Forever told no one knew what to do with her and she neither belonged nor had a place anywhere. Someone who... well who knows if she's even still alive today. It does not help these fears.

So yeah having a bit of an anxiety meltdown and I can't even go to my parents, which is usually the hack to wrangle the panic demons under control, because they have their own fears without me adding to it. It's just so much.

And I'm scared.

I know all the sayings. All the wisdom. About how worrying about something is putting yourself through it twice. And how stress isn't bad it's just a way for your body to deal with challenges. How you need to stay away from what ifs and only deal with stuff you know. All the grounding and breathing exercises. All the stay in the now stuff. All the advice. But guess how many of those are working right now when I'm posting this ramble online.

You know. Sometimes I envy those of you who believe in a god or a sentient universe or whatever. Because it would be really nice right now to think there was something out there I could appeal to to give us more time. Something I could tell, well listen, buddy. Whoever might be up, or down, or triple sideways loop the loop style out there somewhere. I'm not saying we won't still have to have a talk when I arrive wherever, but if you make sure it isn't bad news, idk. Just keep a receipt or something, and I will probably go from very pissed, to strongly worded letter, maybe even begrudging acceptance, when we do get round to that talk.

It would be nice.

But I don't.

So you all got this vent instead.

[heuffopla]

hey, i saw you answered another ask about your breast reduction (already a while back) and if you‘re ok with it i was wondering if you‘d be comfortable talking about what the healing process after surgery was like for you. did you have a lot of pain? what kind of pain was it? how long did it take for you to be able to do things relatively normally again without too much pain or getting tired? could you do most things on your own or did you need help from your family? please don‘t feel like you have to respond though!!

Don't worry, I'm totally okay with questions!

Question uno : was it a lot of pain? I wouldn't say a lot, mostly uncomfortable but not painful in my experience! The most physically painful moments I would say are right when you wake up from surgery. It's not even exactly pain, more like, your brain hasn't registered it yet, far as you know a minute ago you were still in the surgery block (anesthesia is crazy hfhf) and all of a sudden you're waking up with this huge pressure from the compression bandages around your chest, no one told me about it so that was wild hfhfh. Then obviously the next few days can be hard, so if you'll be going through this alone I'd recommend getting enough food and all the supplies you need before surgery, because you won't exactly feel like going out. And yeah, you get bruises from how compressed your chest has to be, and the scars can itch (which is good! It means they're healing!). Overall it wasn't painful for me, the only moment where it was painful was on day 5 for some reason? I couldn't do anything. So here's some advice : if you have a huge pillow or a bean bag, put it behind your back in bed, it'll make getting up much easier. If you are alone, get everything to a reachable height, you kinda get dynosaur arms hrhr. I didn't need medicines to help out with the pain, except on day 5, so have them ready! Gather as many distractions and friends as you can, and remember that is is so SO SOO worth it.

Then how long till you can do things normally? I'd say that depends on your activities and on the person, but the worst is the first week, second and third weeks are uncomfortable but not painful, and then start of the fourth week post-op, you can very much become a human again! Just avoid sports and swimming and all that. :]

And if you need help from friends/family, I wouldn't say it's absolutely necessary, again get all the supplies/food you need before hand if you're alone and make things reachable. Obviously, having family/friends can make it easier. My sibling got me to the hospital and filled all the needed paperwork when I wasn't in the headspace to do it, my mum went to the pharmacy for me when I couldn't, and my dad drove me to and back from the hospital to avoid the metro. It's definitely do-able alone, but as always the power of friendship is pretty cool, even if we're just talking discord friends!

One last little advice, if you're spending the night at the hospital before or after the surgery, get a comfort object, something that reminds you of home. I wish I had taken my teddy bear Bart for that first night! 🐻

Overall, it sure was an uncomfortable month, and I had quite a few strangers see some places I didn't want them to see (they were very professional about it, they see this stuff and much more everyday, if you're anxious about that I promise it's going to be okay. It's just another Thursday for them), but WOAHWIE is it amazing now. No more backpains, I get to be myself and wear all the clothes I want, I can run??? And this weird heavy, dark sensation in front of you, and all the eyes you constantly feel staring at you, it stops. And that's incredible.

#So yeah!!! Again if you want to talk about it more or ask more questions go ahead! ❤️✨✨ #SavoieText #Surgery #Surgery tw #Hospital #Medical tw #breast reduction surgery

[safyresky]

Seeing as Jack's childhood is my Roman Empire, apparently, and piggybacking off our convo the other night about the icy tree, I'd love to hear some anecdotes from when Jack was a kiddo! I think about him jumping off the roof in an attempt to fly, like, every other day (and have even attempted to comic it), lmao. Plus young parents!Blinter have my whole heart. 😍😍😍

And I think about the anecdote from The Forgiven with the bird freezing probably JUST as much!

THANK YOU for diving into the ask box with distractions!! My day got even MORE a day (derogatory) in the HOUR I was home for before heading back out so this is appreciated!

Allow me to oblige you with some fun facts and the like from CS Jack's childhood lol

Icy tree: Winter made it for him to show him he could do lovely things with ice after yet another lament (bc we all be KNOW this guy laments) and kick started his artistic prowess

Winter's mantra was "when the season gives you dead citrus, chuck it at those who piss you off :)" and she 100% taught this to Jack

(Who later goes sure I could chuck dead citrus at annoying people. But what if. What if I threw a CHILD at them)

(Jacqueline, tiny, cackling, and ready to be launched: >:D)

I gotta write the flying off the roof thing lmao. It's funny bc it's when Winter teaches him how to defy gravity and it's done in the funniest way. My god. I should write it

young parents!Blinter were wildin lmao. They brought Jack to work with them quite frequently when he wasn't getting in trouble at school and y'know. doing shenanigans. he was a very amusing child and brought them endless hours of delight while on the job bc he did not gaf. He'd speak his mind whenever.

this one time Jack was at City Hall with Blaise and overherad one of the other governors planning a coup

he sat in and asked all about the coup and got the details of the plan, went back to Blaise and told him EVERYTHING

opened that one with "hey dad? what's a coup?"

One of Blaise's top ten days at work, to this day

Jack would sweet talk ANYONE to get a lil extra stuff while out and about with Winter lmao. The OG Market Day grouping!!! He was (and still is) a damn good schmoozer and Winter was always like "how far can this go".

You know that reel you sent me with the kid bargaining with the Dunkin' Donuts worker and coming back with more and more doughnuts? That's Jack

When Jacqueline was born, he was throwing down in the hospital with Spring

She INSISTED on being there and Winter went "absolutely fucking not" so Blinter, being the gr8 parents they are, went "you know what Jack would love. keeping Spring OUT" and they were right

(Spring thought she could manage to be there when the Twins came around but Jacqueline learned from the best and it SHOWED)

When Jack was born Blaise pulled double duty (support wifey, the love of his life, AND fight off SIL who worries too much) until Summer and Autumn intervened

This was on the day they had their wedding party so please picture the seasons and blaise in full wedding regalia. the whole nine yards. fancy dresses and suits and roach killer shoes. Spring deffs had a very froufrou hat

The people at the mat ward at CSG were like "if another Frost kid comes along it'll be too soon"

SHIFTING BACK TO FOCUS MODE

Blinter did their BEST before Jack hit two-thousand to curb his bad habits in healthy ways, which worked about 50% of the time

"What they don't know can't hurt them" Jack thought by the time he was 1700

He was dead wrong. They knew everything. He had no idea how. He still doesn't tbh. And they still seemingly know everything

ANYWAY they were pretty good at distracting him MOST days. It got harder the older they got and the older he got and when Santa started his whole thing it was all downhill from there baby

They both thought Jack would be GREAT at teaching Jacqueline. They did NOT just let him bc they'd hoped it would curb his bad streak. They hoped it WOULD, but they also genuinely saw how much he enjoyed it and went "oh good! another way to offset his energy into healthier things!"

Jack was the kinda kid that was like I WANT TO LEARN E V E R Y T H I N G

Blaise, coming from the royalty background of being forced to learn everything even if you didn't want to, was very supportive of Jack learning things he WANTED to learn and did his best to meet that need

They clashed a lot tho bc Jack was very not patient and patience goes a long way in learning a new skill

This is the first thing Jack learns ever lol

Blaise taught him the warlock stuff!! He was very hesitant to teach it all bc of his own experiences, and Jack was, of course, impatient lol.

Jack was also exceptionally good at picking stuff up just by watching. He soaked up concepts like a SPONGE as a kid

Teaching Jacqueline was like, challenge mode bc she was very hyperactive and couldn't sit still and extra goofy which made for a lot of long nights of a simple concept being like, drawn out for way too long

Oodles of fun tho, he loved how silly and goofy this gremlin of a sibling was (still does)

Was one of those kids. Who says like weirdly wise things that are also slightly spooky. Older castors would be enthralled with this random 12 year old about philosophical matters and questions beyond their understanding of the universe that they discussed to death

you know. the weird shit kids say that make you go UM ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU HAUNTED MAYBE? BY GHOSTS? IS IT GHOSTS?

When Jack was born Blaise was 100% the Dad who carried the baby around in a lil. Baby carrier thing on his chest all the time. Endless hours of delight when 3 and 4 came around and people would see Fino on his chest like CUTE BABY and he'd whip around and OH MY GOD THERE'S A SECOND ONE as Fiera looked at them like >:)

Okay this post is starting to LAG so that's all I've got for you for now, lol. Ty for the distraction and I hope you enjoyed these crystal springs FACTS: Jack's childhood edition ft. young blinter and baby sibs every so often ;)

#young blinter is such a wild concept to me #they were unhinged! well. winter was! blaise was just happy to NOT be one of the ding dang twin princes anymore #i've said it before and i'll say it again! winter is where the kids get their chaos #blaise is where they get their chillness from lmao #ask box shenanigans #dani answers #definitelyy-not-a-vampire #cs posting #crystal springs #crystal springs FACTS #young blinter #baby frosts #ty again k! this really helped me chill out about things today a LOT

[the-power-of-stuff]

I'm one chapter and an epilogue away from "the words to keep you" being complete on AO3, which made me wanna look through my 7k+ words of deleted scenes. 😅

In an earlier draft of the story, I had more interaction between Suki and Kanna during the Southern Water Tribe chapters, but I ultimately scrapped the scene, for a bunch of reasons.

For one, I struggled a lot with the tone of those chapters, but eventually I felt I wanted to keep things light-hearted and fun, at least until the big angsty moment at the end, and this interaction between Suki and Kanna felt a bit too heavy and introspective to me. I also didn't completely love my characterization of Kanna in this section. And I wanted more Suki and Hakoda time and couldn't figure out how to make it work if I kept this scene with Kanna.

But! I still kinda like the scene overall, so I wanted to share it anyway. Here's a bit of Kanna giving Suki a subtle what-for.

“Hello, Suki,” Hakoda said with a warm smile, extending his hand. They gripped forearms. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too, sir,” Suki said, grimacing inwardly. She’d finally gotten comfortable enough to call Hakoda by his name about a year-and-a-half into her relationship with Sokka, but that comfort was fully eroded by now. Hakoda’s smile was sympathetic, but he didn’t correct her, and she did her best to ignore the lump in her gut.

“Excuse me for interrupting, but Sokka, I need you to help your grandmother while I go finalize some of the details of the celebration with Katara.”

“Sure, Dad, what’s up?”

Hakoda leaned in closer. “She insists on carrying the stew pots to the square by herself,” he said in practically a hiss, “and I told her that Healer Amka forbade her from lifting anything heavy after the last time she hurt her back, but she won’t listen to me.”

Sokka clapped his father on the shoulder and then shot a wink at Suki. “Don’t worry, Dad, I’ve got it under control.”

Just then, Kanna walked out of one of the igloos with a large cast iron pot dangling by its handle from her knotty hands. Hakoda widened his eyes at Sokka and whispered, “See?” between clenched teeth.

“Hakoda, stop pestering the children,” she said, and Hakoda rolled his eyes while he still had his back to her. Suki covered her hand with her mouth before Kanna could see her laughing.

“Gran Gran!” Sokka cried, jaunting past his father to intercept the older woman. “Can I help you with that?”

“There’s three more stew pots in there,” Hakoda said to Suki quietly, pulling her out of her thoughts before she could get too swept up in how endearing the whole situation was. “Make sure he gets them all?”

She nodded, feeling quite conspiratorial when that earned her a pat on the shoulder, but even after he walked away, Sokka hadn’t managed to get his hands on a single pot.

“Nonsense,” Kanna was saying, chin high. “I don’t need any help.”

“I know you don’t need it, Gran Gran, but I’d really like to help you anyway. Whaddaya say? As a favor to me? Your favorite grandson?”

Suki approached the pair with her arms crossed. “Sokka, this woman used to change your diapers, your sweet talk doesn’t work on her.”

Sokka narrowed his eyes at her, a silent accusation, but before he could feel too betrayed, Suki leaned close to whisper in his ear, “Your dad said there’s three more pots inside.”

When she pulled back to confirm he’d understood, she couldn’t help but notice how wide his pupils were, and the heavy bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed. Then he nodded, and Suki ripped her attention away from him.

“Kanna—”

“Call her Gran Gran,” Sokka hissed.

“I mean— Gran Gran! I brought something special from Kyoshi Island for you, to thank you for your hospitality. If I may, I’d love to give it to you before we all get distracted by the celebration.”

Kanna looked back and forth between Sokka and Suki before she finally gave in and handed the pot to her grandson.

“Very well,” she said. “That sounds lovely. Thank you, dear.”

As she led Kanna back to Sokka’s room to get the gift from her bag, Suki turned to give Sokka a wink over her shoulder. He gave her a wobbly smile in return and then walked off with the stew pot in his arms.

“You two make quite a team,” the other woman said, with the same casual confidence she might have if she’d said, “Your name is Suki.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Suki said, laughing nervously. “Okay, wait here one sec, I’ll get your gift…” And then she ducked into Sokka’s igloo.

A shiver went through her at the intimacy of being in Sokka’s space alone. Like she was waiting to surprise him with a clandestine affair. Like he was keeping her there to have his way with later. She locked her focus firmly on her bag, unreasonably afraid of what it would feel like to see the rest of his room, grabbing the gift and then jumping back out into the open air as if she might suffocate if she stayed inside any longer.

“Oh, so there was a gift,” Kanna said, eyeing the bundle in Suki’s arms with a soft smile.

“Of course! Did you think we were trying to trick you?”

“I wasn’t sure, with all that whispering back there. People think just because I’m old, I’ve stopped paying attention. But I pay more attention now than ever.”

Suki rolled her shoulders against the sudden prickling between her shoulder blades. “Your family’s just looking out for you, Gran Gran. I’m sorry if we made it feel like we were deceiving you.”

“Never mind that,” Kanna said, waving her hand through the air. Then her smile turned bright, smoothing away a couple decades from her face. “What have you got for me?”

“Well, for the past few years, my warriors and I have been working to improve our relationship with the other villages on Kyoshi Island, and through that, we’ve discovered some amazing artifacts.” She unfurled the bundle and held it out to Kanna. “This parka looks like sealskin, but you see the boxy, geometric pattern in the embroidery? That’s very typical of traditional Kyoshi Island clothing. We thought this must be from sometime before the war, when there was open trade between our island and the Southern Water Tribe.”

Kanna took the parka and draped it over one arm.

“This is definitely sealskin,” she said, her fingertips running gracefully over the delicate embroidery despite the large knobs in her knuckles. “It’s a bit weathered from lack of care, but nothing a little whale oil and stitching can’t fix.”

“I did the best I could,” Suki said, “before coming down. I’ve never been very good at mending…”

She bit her lip when Kanna reached up to place one hand on her arm. That prickle between her shoulder blades was back, but this time she resisted shrugging it away.

“This is a beautiful gift, Suki. Thank you. And I can see the effort you put in to restoring it. That was very thoughtful.” She ran her fingers over the seams. “Perhaps Katara or one of the other girls can help me with the stitching. My dexterity isn’t what it once was.” And she wiggled her fingers slowly by way of demonstration.

“Nimble as ever!” Suki argued. “Between you and me, you probably could’ve carried that pot just fine on your own.”

“Perhaps,” she said, and then she smiled up at Suki. “I was young, once.”

“Of course you were!” Suki laughed.

“Back then, I gave up everything,” Kanna continued, “my family, my home, everything — to go after the life I knew was right for me. My Pakku…he found me again eventually. Perhaps it was fate, and we truly weren’t meant to be together until now. Or perhaps we were just two very stubborn people who made choices we couldn’t take back. If I could do it all again, well…I would do it the same. But, I don’t have much time left anymore.”

“Gran Gran…” Sometimes Oyaji made comments like this about his foregone youth, and Suki never knew what to say in response. She felt no better equipped now.

“After I’m gone, I’ll still be watching from the spirit lights. And even though I wouldn’t change a thing about my own life, I would hate to see my only grandson get to be my age before he feels truly settled in his.”

Oh… Why had she thought they were legitimately talking about parkas and Pakku? And why had she thought she would make it through this trip without a talking to from the matriarch of the Southern Water Tribe?

“I don’t want that either, Gran Gran,” Suki replied. And it was true. But how much control could she possibly have over something like that? How much responsibility could she take?

“Thank you very much for the parka, dear. This is quite special.” Kanna lifted her hand to Suki’s face. “I never knew a time when there was a strong partnership between Kyoshi Island and the South Pole. I hope I live long enough to see it.”

Suki closed her eyes on a sigh.

“Now!” Kanna said suddenly, clapping her hand onto the antique in her arms. Suki opened her eyes to see an indulgent smile on the older woman’s face. “I think you’ve sufficiently distracted me. Shall we go see if my grandson has managed to transport all four of my stew pots by now?”

#sukka #my fic #sukka fic #fic behind the scenes #fic: the words to keep you #deleted scenes #suki and kanna have a heart to heart #this story has come so far from where it started and in some ways has changed a lot #it's fun to reminisce about how damn hard writing is hahaaaa