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bee-kathony · 5 years

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The Oath | Ch. 14 “Together”

a/n: it’s baby time! thank you to everyone who has left comments on this story, I appreciate them all! there is one more chapter in this arc and then a wee break before the second arc starts!

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! It did!” Claire gasped.

“I guess ye’ll be goin’ in to work after all,” Geillis smiled. “Do ye have yer bag to take to the hospital?”

“Yes, but it’s not finished!” Claire started to panic. The baby wasn’t due for at least three more weeks. It was close enough to the due date, that everything should be fine, but it was still early — early enough to cause worry.

“Stay here, tell me what else ye need and I’ll pack somethin’ quick!” Geillis raced to Claire’s room to pack her bag.

“I’ll need a change of clothes, and then the baby clothes for her should be sitting on the chair in the corner of the room. Oh Christ,” Claire’s hands started to tremble. This was really happening now. Of course she knew one day she would hold her baby girl in her arms, but today was now that day — it had all happened so fast.

She should call Jamie. Claire looked around for her phone, but couldn’t see it anywhere — it must have fallen when she’d gotten up from the couch. No matter what kind of argument they had had, Claire needed Jamie to be there for the birth.

Geillis rushed back into the living room, her red hair flying around her face, green eyes wide. “Alright lass, I’ve got a bag packed best I could. It’s time to have a baby!”

“Can you— OH!” Claire doubled over, a contraction making every previous thought leave her head as she groaned through the pain. “Bloody hell, that hurt!”

“Tis goin’ to get a lot worse, I’m afraid,” Geillis said sympathetically.

It took some time, but eventually, Geillis had managed to help Claire into the car and buckle her in. There was a bit of traffic, a wreck on the other side of the road, but they finally arrived at the hospital.

“Only for ye, Claire Beauchamp would I come back to work after my shift has ended,” Geillis joked.

Claire half laughed, half barked as she was placed in a wheelchair and wheeled inside. She reached for her friends hand, squeezing it hard as another contraction came. When it was over, she took a deep breath, looking up at Geillis. “Call Jamie, please.”

“Aye, I will lass. I’ll see ye settled into yer room first,” Geillis smiled and bent down, kissing her on the forehead.

Admitted into her room shortly after, Claire closed her eyes, trying to focus on her breathing. Her and Jamie had attended several lamaze classes and she laughed now, remembering.

“The cervix will dilate to 10 cm, that’s when it will come time to push,” the instructor said. Claire of course, knew all of this being a doctor and having gone to medical school, but it was one thing to know it and another altogether to experience it sometime in the near future.

“The baby will move further down the birth canal and then out of the vagina. It sounds rather simple, but ladies,” the instructor said, looking all around the room. “Ye should expect a fair amount of pain and some rippin’ down there.”

“Ripping?” Jamie gasped beside Claire, his face horror stricken. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”

“Oh yes, it’ll be quite a mess,” Claire looked at him, noticing how his face was looking rather pale.

“Jenny has had three bairns, but she didna say anythin’ about rippin’ um… down there,” Jamie said bashfully.

“I don’t expect her to tell her brother those sorts of things,” Claire laughed. She was almost six months along and they’d finally found out they were having a girl. Claire wasn’t planning on going to any of these classes, but thought it best to at least attend one so that Jamie knew what he was getting himself into.

“Nah, Jenny has nay problem tellin’ me anythin’,” Jamie chuckled. “I was there for all three of her bairns births. Not in the room, mind ye, but I heard the screamin’.”

“Do ye think ye’ll scream, Sassenach?” Jamie asked her, holding out both hands to help her off the ground to leave for the night.

“Oh you bloody bet I will,” Claire laughed. “You try pushing out an eight pound human being through a small hole and we’ll see how much you scream!”

Jamie winced at the thought, his hand reflexively going over his stomach. Claire noticed and reached for his hand, “It’s a good thing you don’t have to do that then, just me.”

“Och, lass,” Jamie’s face softened and he cupped her cheek. “I wish I could take the pain away from ye though. I’d do anythin’ so that ye wouldna feel it.”

“That is what an epidural is for,” Claire smirked.

++++++

“Did you call him?” Claire asked the second that Geillis walked back into the room.

“Aye, just got off the phone, he said he was on his way.”

“How did he sound?”

“Sounded a wee bit nervous,” Geillis smiled. “That wee fox of yers is a good man, Claire. I ken tis not been easy for the both of ye… all of this, but just think, it could be Frank that’s here by yer side instead.”

Frank Randall. Claire hadn’t thought of him in quite some time. In fact, she hadn’t thought of him since he had come over to her house that evening and Jamie had punched him, well a few punches. The only thing Claire thought of was her baby and Jamie. The only two things she needed.

“I hope he gets here soon,” Claire sighed. Another contraction came and Claire shut her eyes, moaning through it.

“It looks like we’ve got a long night ahead of us,” Geillis smiled, pulling her chair up next to Claire.

An hour later, Claire was only 4cm dilated and Jamie still wasn’t there.

“You did call him right? Jamie Fraser? Possible father of my child?”

“Aye, I did. He said he was leaving work and would come right away. The lad works not far from here?”

“Yes, just a few miles away actually,” Claire took a deep breath, placing her hand on her stomach. She tried not to think of the worst possible outcome, but she couldn’t help it. Jamie lying dead in a ditch, or run off the road. Or perhaps even worst of all was maybe he had changed his mind and he didn’t want to be there — with her and the baby.

“He’ll be here, lass.” Geillis smiled, but Claire could see she was worried too. “I’ll try callin’ him again.”

Claire watched as her friend dialed Jamie’s number, anxiously waiting for him to pick up. The phone quickly went to voicemail, “I think his phone’s dead.”

“Where the hell are you Jamie Fraser!” Claire half shouted through another contraction.

Another hour passed and still… no sign of Jamie.

“It’s been two bloody fucking hours, surely he could have walked here in that time,” Claire rolled her eyes. The worse possible scenario of Jamie not wanting to be there with her was now seeming the most likely. “Christ, I can’t just lay here. I need to do something.”

“Ye can take a walk,” the nurse in her room said. “Yer only 5cm dilated, and sometimes walkin’ helps to speed things along.”

“Help me up, Geillis. We’re going for a walk,” Claire held out her hands. With grunting and moaning, Claire was on both her feet, making her way slowly down the hall. Her back ached and her stomach felt like it was going to explode. All she wanted was her baby girl and Jamie — in the reverse order.

“What if—“ Claire started, tears springing to her eyes.

“Dinna go there, Claire. Dinna let yer mind go to bad places,” her friend squeezed her hand.

“But where is he? What could have happened to make him two hours late?”

They continued walking down the hall, one slow step at a time. “I dinna ken, but he will be here, I know it.”

Claire was just about to open her mouth and say ask how Geillis could possibly know that, when she looked up and saw a bright red flash of hair. Taller than everyone else, Jamie towered over them, his face red and his eyes wide.

“Jamie!” Claire shouted down the hall making everyone look at her.

“Claire!” Jamie saw her, his blue eyes locking on hers and then made his way through the throng of doctors, patients and nurses, jogging slightly to where she was waiting for him.

“I’m so sorry, Sassenach,” Jamie huffed and Claire noticed he was a bit sweaty as he ran his hand back through his hair. “I left just after Geillis called me, but there was a six car pile up on the highway and I couldna get out! I tried everythin’… I even tried to get out of my car to run here, but the police wouldna let me just leave my car.”

Claire reached out her hand for him, holding onto it tightly. Tears fell from her eyes at the relief she felt of touching him. “It doesn’t matter, you’re here now.”

“Oh, Claire,” Jamie took a step forward, wrapping his arms around her, his own tears flowing freely. “I missed ye so much.”

“I missed you too,” Claire cried, burying her face in his chest. “Don’t ever leave me again.”

“Aye, as long as ye dinna leave me,” Jamie laughed as he bent his head to kiss her forehead.

“Come on ye lovebirds, we should get Claire back to her room,” Geillis snorted.

Together, all three of them made their way back to the hospital room, tucking Claire safely back in bed. This time as a contraction came, Claire reached out for Jamie, squeezing his hand as tight as she could.

“Ifrinn! Ye’ve a tight grip on ye,” Jamie winced, shaking his hand after Claire let go.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Claire laughed, feeling a light sheen of sweat break out on her forehead.

“Sassenach—“ Jamie said softly a moment later, his head bowed. “I’m sorry.”

“Good,” Claire said and Jamie popped his head up, mouth open to reply, but Claire held up her finger. “Good… because I am too. For everything.”

“Ye’ve nothin’ to be sorry for, Claire. ’Twas me that said awful things to ye, and wouldn’t see yer side of things. I’ll ask yer forgiveness for what I said, I was sore and I said more than I meant. I willna hit our daughter, even if she deserves a wee tap every now and then,” Jamie smirked.

Claire held his hand, this time not as tight and brought it over to rest on her stomach. “Thank you, Jamie. For understanding. But I was rather foolish about the whole thing and I talked with Jenny earlier today actually about your upbringing, and while I still don’t agree with hitting a child — I think I might be able to understand just a little bit more. She told me that sometimes all I’ll want to do is smack their bum when they’re misbehaving,” she breathed deeply. “Of course I forgive you.”

Jamie nodded, his body still tensed. “I’ll do anythin’ ye want, Claire. Just as long as I can have ye and the bairn in my life. Whatever ye say goes.”

Claire laughed, bringing her hand up to cup Jamie’s cheek. “We both get a say, Jamie. She is our daughter after all. I don’t want you to just agree with everything I want. There will be times that a decision is made that one of us doesn’t like… just as long as we both come to that decision together.”

“Aye,” Jamie’s voice cracked. “Together.”

“There’s three of us now,” Claire smiled. “And I want you with me for every single day of our daughter’s life.”

++++++

Two more hours and a few more centimeters dilated and Claire was exhausted. It was nearly ten pm and she just wanted to push.

“How much longer?” Claire asked the doctor once again as he was checking on her.

“Och, ye’ve got just two centimeters to go, hang in there lass,” the doctor smiled kindly and then left the room to check on his other patients.

Geillis had left a little bit ago to grab some food for her and Jamie, so it was just Claire and Jamie together now, sitting and waiting.

“Claire,” Jamie said softly, scooting his chair a bit closer to her bed.

“Hmm?” Claire said with her eyes closed, breathing slowly and deeply.

“I’ve been wonderin’ about somethin’ for awhile now…”

This made Claire’s eyes pop open and she looked at his face, red as his hair and a small smile forming on his lips. “And?”

“I ken we’ve got things a bit backwards now, wi’ the baby first and everythin’, but well… I was thinkin’ as how it would be nice for the lassie to have a proper Mam and Da,” he said with his eyes firmly on hers.

“Are you… are you proposing, Jamie?”

Jamie smiled then, “Would you say yes, if I was?”

Claire’s heart nearly leapt out of her chest at his words. They had never fully admitted their feelings to one another, but they were there — just on the surface waiting to bubble over.

“I think…” Claire said, squeezing both of Jamie’s hands. “That sounds like a good plan.”

“So it’s a yes?” Jamie’s eyebrows rose.

Nodding, Claire felt a tear spill down her cheek, “It’s a yes, Jamie!”

“Oh, Sassenach!” Jamie stood from his chair with a screech of the wood on the tile floor. He cupped both of Claire’s cheeks and paused, his face just a breath away from hers. “I’ve been wanting to say this to ye from the moment I laid eyes on ye…”

“Say it,” Claire whispered.

“I love ye, Sassenach. I love ye so much,” Jamie kissed her, his heart beating fast as if wasn’t able to contain the joy he felt.

“I love you, Jamie,” Claire said in between kisses. It was a wet kiss from both of their tears, a saltiness on both of their lips. “I love you, I love you,” she repeated.

Jamie held her face and then slid his hands down along her shoulders, as the kiss deepened. Claire arched up suddenly, accidentally biting down on his lip as a contraction came.

“Ow!” Jamie shouted, pulling back and placing his hand on his bleeding lip. Claire shut her eyes, groaning at the pain before falling back against the pillows as it passed.

“I’m sorry!” She said and then started to laugh.

“Nah,” Jamie wiped at his mouth. “Tis alright, mo nighean donn.” Jamie then turned and reached for something in his jacket that was hanging over the back of his chair. He pulled out a small blue velvet bag with drawstrings.

“I ken it might no fit just now,” Jamie nodded at her fingers which in fact had swollen up rapidly through the evening. “But I want ye to have this,” Jamie brought out his mother’s silver ring, the one he had been holding onto for months.

“It’s beautiful, Jamie…” Claire said softly, admiring it. He attempted to slide it over her ring finger, but it wouldn’t go past the knuckle. Laughing, Claire took it off and slide it over her pinky finger. “There. It’ll do for now. I’ll have to take it off in a bit though.”

“Aye, I just wanted to see it on ye,” Jamie smiled and then picked up her hand and brought it to her lips, kissing the finger with the ring on it. “’Twas my mother’s ring.”

“I love it, Jamie. I love you,” she smiled. Claire thought that she could say ‘I love you’ one hundred times a day to Jamie and it still wouldn’t be enough.

“And I you,” Jamie said and leaned up to kiss her. “I’ll never be away from ye ever again. I canna bear it. It almost killed me the past two months.”

“Me too,” Claire said sadly. “But we have time now, and soon we’ll have our daughter.”

“Speaking of,” Jamie glanced down at her stomach. “Have ye thought of any names for the lass?”

“I have one in mind actually,” Claire bit her lip. “Madeline.”

“Madeline Fraser,” Jamie tried it out on his lips. “Madeline Elizabeth Fraser.”

“It’s perfect,” Claire smiled. “A perfect name for a perfect baby girl.”

“Who I canna wait to meet verra soon,” Jamie bent his head, placing a gentle kiss to Claire’s stomach. “It’s time ye come out wee one, time to meet yer parents.”

“I bloody hope it’s soon!” Claire sighed and laid her head back on the pillow.

It was soon. Another hour passed and finally, Claire had dilated to 10 cm and the doctor instructed her it was time to push. All in all the actual giving birth part didn’t take terribly long. Jamie stood by Claire’s side, holding her hand, allowing her to squeeze it as tight as she needed. Claire screamed like she never had before, sweat dripping down her face, her body doing what it was designed to — everything was suddenly simple.

At one point, Jamie had walked around to look between her legs at their daughter and his face had immediately turned white. “Oh Christ,” he muttered, quickly joining Claire back at her side.

With a final push and a scream loud enough to wake the whole floor, Madeline Elizabeth Fraser came into the world, crying as she left her mother’s womb.

Jamie cut the cord, and immediately she was brought to lie on Claire’s chest. “Oh,” Claire said softly as she looked at her beautiful daughter with a small tuft of red hair.

“Oh,” Jamie echoed her and then that was all it took for his knees to give out and he fell to the floor, his head falling onto the bed as he began to weep.

All doubt was erased from Claire’s brain and she joined Jamie in weeping at the sight of their daughter. She was beautiful and she was all theirs.

Chapter 15: Results

#the oath #outlander fanfic #jamie x claire #outlander fanfiction #baby time #chapter 14 #together

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smud-nysgjerrig · 5 years

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Christmas

I used to love Christmas. I used to love the preparations. Getting gifts. Getting the decorations. Seeing how my city would turn from dark and dull to something beautiful with lights everywhere and a big, green tree in the middle of our square.

The tree is up this year too. The lights have gotten bigger and there is more of them. The decorations are up in the shops and the Christmas wrapping paper is visible everywhere. But I’m not looking forward to Christmas Eve this year. The Christmas spirit isn’t a part of me like it used to. It hasn’t been for around 8 years really. Maybe more. Christmas isn’t what it used to be.

I can still remember coming into our living room when I was a kid, seeing the Christmas tree and smelling the good food from the kitchen. I can still remember getting my Christmas stocking full of candy and a magazine. Getting comfy on the couch with my blanket and watching TV all day until it was time for church. How the Disney music filled our house and everything was good. The outside was white and cold. Felt so calm even though my mother was going around doing stuff, preparing. Setting the table. Checking the food. Getting my clothes ready.

I also remember a time when I didn’t understand the fuss. I didn’t understand why my mother and father couldn’t sit and watch Donald Duck with me. Why she had so much to do and why my father was either outside shoveling snow or at work. But later in life, I was part of that too. I saw all of the stages of a Christmas Eve. And all of the things my parents did. I’m so thankful did. That made me able to make Christmas in my own home years later. I still know how to do it. I still have my decorations. I think I even have my old Christmas stocking. But they are all in storage now. I haven’t opened the boxes in several years. And I’m not going to this year either.

I wish I could go back. I wish I could go back to my childhood home, open the door and smell Christmas. I wish I could hear my mother in the kitchen and see my father outside moving snow around. I wish for just one more night before Christmas Eve when my mother and I used to decorate the tree. When my father struggled to get the tree standing straight. And me and my brother standing to the side to get all the angles. To hear the frustration in his voice when he was ready to give up because we couldn’t decide if it should go more to the left or to the right. And my mother going to get water for the tree so that my father could get that into the foot before he got up.

And then, helping us with the lights. They went on first. It was important to get them right before the rest of the decorations got on. Stretching them out and using our whole living room to get the tangles out. A struggle every year even though we always packed them the right way. My father going to sit down in his favorite chair after the tree was straight and just watching us finishing it. My mother and I always had a little discussion every year about what colors we should have on the tree. Only red? Silver and blue? Maybe we should just use them all this year? No, just red. And the little figurines we had. On top, we always had a silver star.

I would always sit down on the floor in front of the tree after we were done, or on the couch next to it. Just to look at it. Look at the lights and the colors and the green tree underneath. So beautiful. I always felt calm when I did this. Christmas always made me feel calm. Loved. Happy. Even when I had to do everything myself in my home, it was a calmness over it. I always enjoyed it. And I usually helped my mother with their tree even after I moved out. I loved every minute of it. And I would give the world to get it back.

If I close my eyes I can still see it. The tree. Smell the faint smell of forest inside. I can hear the Christmas songs coming from the tv and the smell of our traditional Christmas drink, gløgg, coming from small cups my parents had. I can still feel the warmth in our house wrapping itself around me. Keeping me safe. Keeping me happy. I almost feel like I lived in a bubble in those days. I didn’t really know much about the world outside of my country and I had no reason to really care. But I do remember one Christmas Eve in church, I must have been around 12. The priest talked about the children in Africa who didn’t get presents. Who didn’t get Christmas food or a tree. And I cried. I cried for the children and I cried for myself. Why did I have all these things and they nothing? I didn’t understand how the world worked at that time, but I understood that it wasn’t fair.

The food didn’t taste as good that night. But by the time we came around to open presents my sadness went away. I forgot all about the children in Africa and the cruel world outside. My world was safe again. Calm. Happy. White and cold, but filled with lights. I don’t remember what I got that Christmas but I do remember that feeling. The sad one. And that is a feeling that has become bigger in the later years. When I understood more about the world and how lucky I actually was. How lucky I am.

And today it’s mostly sad. My parents are gone. The tree is gone. The feeling of warmth and lights are gone. It’s not the same as it used to. No more presents, no more Christmas stocking. My thoughts around Christmas and its meaning have changed with time too. I became a Christian when I was around 20 years old and today that is more important than ever, I think. I’ve grown with Christ and He has become more clear to me in the later years. More important. Today Christmas is about the birth of Christ, to me. That God gave us His son is the real reason why we celebrate this time of year. At least for me. I don’t care about the presents and the lights as much. Only one light is important, and that is Christ.

I know this sounds “preachy” to many, but to me, it’s just the truth. I’ve also noticed that news from around the world impacts me more and more. I have a friend who lives in a war zone. And when he tells me about his everyday life, I just want to cry. I still don’t understand why the world is so cruel. We are one people, one race, under one God. You can call God whatever you want, but in my mind, there is just one. We have different traditions, yes. And we should. But that shouldn’t be a reason not to get along. That should be a reason to be friends and to share experiences, not fight. We should talk about how beautiful our world is, not destroy it.

How can we not love each other when we all have the same struggles, really? How can we not support each other when we are sharing this planet? How can we not get together and celebrate something we all agree on is a good thing? I know not everyone believes in God or in the birth of Jesus as His son, but let us believe what we want. Just enjoy the good food and happy times. Get together with friends and family and live your life. The fighting has to stop.

I wish that everyone could experience a safe and warm Christmas. Even if you don’t believe in Christ or Santa. I just wish that everyone could feel safe, at least for one night. One day. Eat good food. Be with loved ones. And don’t have to think about the cruel world outside. Snuggle up under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and watch Disney. Hear the beautiful songs that talk about peace on earth and a Christmas tree with an angel on top. I wish that everyone could feel the love that surrounds us, and I wish that the Christmas spirit will live all year around.

And I really wish that I could go back, just for one more Christmas. Just one more day with my whole family around the tree. Just one more hug. I would even take a day with shoveling snow outside our house if that meant I could share it with my father. I would happily get rid of the snow on the ground so that my father could get the car out. If I could see his happy face again. And I would help my mother in the kitchen if that meant that I could listen to her laughter just one more time.

What is Christmas for you? How has it changed over time? Or maybe it hasn’t? Maybe it’s the same today that it was 10 years ago? Or 20? I guess our focus changes over time even if we don’t mean it. And even if we can go home for Christmas, the focus may be on the food instead of the presents. It may be on what to wear, instead of the cartoons on tv. It may be on what our kids got in their Christmas stocking instead of the fact that we didn’t get one. It may be on the snow in the driveway instead of being dragged to church by our parents. Either way, I hope it’s a good one. I hope you get a good holiday no matter how or if you celebrate it. And I hope the new year will be filled with blessings for everyone. Maybe even I will look forward to Christmas next year.

What do you want for Christmas?