chaos2calmness

[chaos2calmness]

VeNt SeSh⚠️

❌DIRTY DIANNA ❌

Trigger warning for domestic/verbal abuse.

• LIL BACKGROUND: I’ve known this man for about month and had him telling me “i love you” before we were even intimate 💁🏼‍♀️ I seen a few red flags but whos looking 🛑 I should of been. I wasn’t pushing to be intimate because it takes a min for me to even feel someone out to want to give myself to them because people are petty now days and well be running their mouth. They “love you but really turn to hate you” type of love 😅.

So, Ive been harmed by people Ive trusted in a way that has made me not like certain things sexually. Dianna here has a kink of slapping *on the face when intimate. I DO NOT. We had a discussion about it with no “end” understanding. I don’t mind questions I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT MY JOURNEY OF LIFE. If your gonna use it as to degrade me I loose that feeling safe with you. Within that discussion I had verbalize “If this was the breaking point then so be it because if someone “loves” you they will respect a way that you feel especially in a SAFE space like intimacy. I know I didn’t love dianna nor did I feel real love from him it was Surface based anytime I talk about why I am this way its was always shut down. I have BPD and I do not take medication because for the most part besides the “weirdness; disassociation, overstimulation, flashbacks, constant mind race/overthinking & constantly needing reassurance so I can shut my head off” I can control myself VERY WELL when it comes to my angry or letting people walk out of my life. I have a very hard time when it comes to being degraded. I at times already feel low so when other people REALLY tell me how they feel its like confirmation for my brain which HURTS. I admit that I am healing and forever will be but I feel that if someone got to know the REAL me, not the surface me they would find the real beauty.. but how can I expect a world full of surface to enjoy this type of depth.

#bpd feels #bpd vent #mentalheathawareness #personal vent #happiness #venting #notes #dirty diana #in god we trust #444 #reflection #borderline blog #triggering content #fbf #nostalgia

[chaos2calmness]

🎟️ Welcome to the palace of peace a space I have created to come to clean up my mind 😵‍💫🤯🥳😇

I will be sharing sometimes even oversharing all of the wisdom I have learned and all of the things I have had to unlearn. Life is beautiful when your healing but healing is not always beautiful 🔋

•I have opened this palace of peace for myself and anyone else who feels connected to share.

#meantal health #bpd feels #positivevibes #inner peace #palace #mindfulness #mental note #venting #angel number 444 #happiness