#my brain literally never noticed.

[toxicrevolver]

Thanks for the tag @onlyoneofsideblogtrashheep !!!!!

(Receiptify link)

I’m too tired to tag anyone so if you wanna participate you can!!

#tag game. #about the weirdo who runs this blog #LOOK. I CAN EXPLAIN. #okay I actually can’t. #BUT ALL OF THESE SONGS SLAP AND KEEP GOING ON REPEAT. #THE MACARENA DANCE PART OF SHALALA LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD CURRENTLY. #also. if you haven’t yet I suggest looking into BoyNextDoor. they’re concept is super cute and they’re music is catchy as hell… #I will protect those children with my life (their ages are ‘03-‘06 hence children.)… #TX2 is a random emo guy I found in tiktok one day and his music has just stuck around. it’s catchy and hella accurate with current issues. #ALSO. for the number of times I’ve listened to Super Bowl I never realized the song is completely in English until I saw the lyric booklet.. #my brain literally never noticed. #ALSO ALSO. BITE ME GOES SO HARD. ITS SUCH A GOOD SONG. AND THE CHOREO IS DOPE. #AGAIN. PROTECTING THOSE CHILDREN WITH MY LIFE. #also. random side note. I hate the font on mobile for the tags when editing/reblogging posts. it’s too small and thin. put it back. #another note. I refer to anyone younger than me as children so yes most of ENHYPEN are adults I will acknowledge that but to me they’re kids #I’m sorry for so many tags. (but only a little. I ramble a lot).

[merevide]

barbie next yellowjacket hunt victim (confirmed) (real) (trustworthy) (i’m totally not just making shit up) (100% truthful)

#(i’m making shit up) ‼️ #i noticed this like a month ago but never got around to making this post until now #this is literally how my brain works i saw barbie’s heart necklace and said OMG YELLOWJACKETS REFERENCE ❓ in my defense this was when #i was at my peak yj brainrot and the smallest thing would have me thinking about it #if i posted every thought my brain had like this i’d be like if matpat were me #barbie #yellowjackets #my text

[thedroloisms]

also i have to say there's smth consistently eye-rolly about the idea of going "oh you can't blame me for leaving her there !! i thought they were good people !! i didn't think they would do anything bad to her !!! that's why i left her there i thought she was safe !!!" as if "they" even broke that trust. according to literally all accounts the incident in question happened before you left and nothing progressed further after you were gone. accusing "them" of being horrible nasty people when again, the only wrongdoing alleged at all was on the part of one of them ???? like you can just say that while drunk you didn't make the right judgement call and once you woke up sober you checked in with your friend because thinking back you were worried abt her comfort levels without crying wolf about how you simultaneously "thought they were good safe people" and they took advantage of that after you left (by doing nothing after you left, because the whole incident being described here happened with you in the room) and also knew she was uncomfortable which is why you checked on her immediately (which is somehow being used to blame two people who had zero access to the texts asking her if she was comfortable at all and therefore made the assumptions that she was comfortable based on what they themselves saw)

#like no one took advantage of your trust after you left the whole thing did in fact happen while you were in the room #if they /were/ the monsters you feel like painting them as then yeah it would've been really bad for you to leave her in that environment ! #but uh things literally never progressed further than they did while you were in the room #like at first i thought you didn't know the same way dr eam apparently didn't know #but no the narrative now is apparently that you knew ? but didn't do anything? and assumed she was okay? but that she was uncomfortable? #or whatever? #which is like. cool you can just say that your drunk brain didn't really ring the alarm bells as much as they shouldve #when you apparently noticed in the moment that she looked uncomfortable and didn't do anything #that doesn't change anything abt what discomfort other people might have perceived as Not Her Best Friend #and that also doesn't mean that you were somehow betrayed bc you trusted them not to be terrible people when you left her there #bc . nothing. in fact. happened . after you left her there. #and the whole 'incident' being described in this whole situation happened WITH YOU RIGHT THERE . #anyway excuse my frustration

[nerdie-faerie]

Currently thinking about the last time I met up with my college friends, and we went around the table reintroducing ourselves with names and pronouns, cus it gets like that. And every time it would come around to me, I would deflect and distract instead of answering because I hadn't actually figured it out yet. It's coming up on a year since then, I still have no idea what the answer would be

#Queer gang #it was literally this time last year cus it was the last time i went home for winter break that i saw them all #i panicked and got distracted the first time i was supposed to introduce myself despite the fact theyre the last people who would judge #but were a bunch of very easily distracted fckers so it wasnt even that noticeable that i hadnt answered at first #but then one of them realised id never actually introduced myself and i cant even remember how i changed the topic #but someone would always realise in the middle of someones story so id just redirect the attention to what we were already discussing #to buy myself time to think but i never actually came up with an answer and im stuck on a coach rn so my brain has all this time to think #and im just. its been a year since that incident its been several years since i started to think maybe my gender didnt entirely fit #but every time i try to figure it out like a puzzle like i did with my sexuality the first time i realise i dont really have an answer #its not that i feel that something else would fit better and i cant figure out why it doesnt feel right in the first place #is it because i was raised hyperfeminine despite growing up predominantly around brothers? #is it because tradition gender roles dont fit anyway when yoyre queer because so much of gender is tangled up in sexuality? #is it because im taking too much of a theoretical/whatever approach to it when i know gender is predominantly a social construct? #is it because its just not that deep and i dont care? or do i care and i just havent figured it out yet? idk

[monsterkissed]

i feel like i need some kind of masterpost for the concept of "YOU ARE FALLIBLE YOU HAVE A FALLIBLE BRAIN IT'S FINE IT'S NORMAL BUT IT'S A FACT YOU SHOULD BE COGNIZANT OF"

#everything from ''well i never got hard data about this thing at all but i Feel like this is true so therefore it is'' #to ''well if i had literal brain damage i would simply not let it change my personality thru the power of being a better person'' #human brains are amazing but they lie pretty much all of the time and in ways you can't always immediately notice #and more often than you think other ppl will not tell u this bc the lie benefits them or bc they are also being conned by their own brain

[lestatlioncunt]

one of the million reasons i'm easily spotted as italian is that i keep refering to hair as plural even in english, truly smth i can't seem to learn

#rena.txt #i keep using them while i should use it. i notice the error when it's too late akdjskd in italian i say i capelli (plural & refers to the #whole mass of hair) and then there's il/un capello (singular which means literally ONE hair or one strands etc etc) like this thing will #never get unlocked in my brain

[thelostboys87]

my beautiful autistic mind is so picky and annoying sometimes because my biggest struggle with writing at the moment is the fact i dont like how the name bobby looks written out but i like how it sounds and also know that is his name it literally cannot be anything else. but every time i look at the letters i'm like.......

#thing is it's literally a whole thing in the damn story about how he hates his Government Name so i have to honour his real name!!!! #actually this was one of those moments where a character came with a name #bobby was a moment of wait were you always there and i just didnt notice you because i saw a pic on pinterest #that gave me an idea for an RR storyline the storyline being a character dies from AIDS #which is something i have been SO apprehensive about this whole time because i didnt know if i wanted to write the AIDS crisis and include #death so directly...but then my mom died and i became hyperfixated on death LOL #(and realised the way i could approach it respectfully + in a way that honours) #anyway i was like wow with my better expertise on the AIDS crisis + personal experience with loss i feel like i can write this kind of #storyline but who dies?? and i have to make them a fully fleshed character bc i always do #but thats like especially important here. he can't just be a body + vessel for other characters' grief journeys #literally immediately my brain was like so his name is bobby he looks like this he was born in august and he loves this david bowie song #i dont actually know if he still likes the david bowie song (my first image of him had dialogue inspired by the song) so that is info FOR M #but maybe i should revisit that lol.....anyway he just appeared #more details + development came with time as always but i dont have like any conscious #memory of that it just happened #like i forget he's only existed less than a year bc he's on beau/felix/dorothy levels of developed. WOW! #was also never meant to be beau's bestie and i can't remember at all how i decided that it also just happened #oops i accidentally infodumped

[inutaffy]

the physical PAIN im feeling right now

#'clay...helmet... your name does not belong on this list. but you need to be here if im going to tell my story. #if im going to explain why i did what i did. because you arent every other guy. you're different #youre good. ans kind. and decent. and i didnt deserve to be with someone like you. i never would. #i would have ruined you. it wasnt you' IT WASNT YOU #IT WASNT YOUUUU #LITERALLY BE FUCKING QUIET #IT WASNT YOU #'it was me' SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP #'and everything that's happened to me. ' #my analytical brain with 13 reasons why is off the charts bc theres more than one reason why justin is the way he is #i know it #and i know alex better than anyone in this place and i know why jessica is acting thr way she does . I BE NOTICING THINGS #oh and zach too #fuck marcus n bryce tho and tyler #justin a little bitch but i understand and feel bad for him

[boyczar]

am i peeling back the layers…. uncovering the metaphors.. mirroring…..connecting dots…..stuff like that, girl?

#found a pearl in an oyster necklace in my bag a few weeks ago #been too weirded out by it to give it much thought #but it was right after my here’s a pearl im the oyster post #and i had purchased some baroque pearls a few weeks before that even #and pearl is my birthstone #which i always resented bc i felt it was ‘old lady-ish’ #but now i feel a strange and incredibly strong sense of awe and admiration for them #i feel so obsessed and i’ve quite literally never thought them to be beautiful but now it’s plastering the walls of my brain #and im noticing it in so many songs i love #i hadn’t ever realized #im going pearl mad #mine #it speaks to me for a reason #that is all i know for certain #i am going to revel in my intuition and accept the answer she presents me #björk #caroline polachek #janis joplin #lana del rey #i trust what is being shown to me… i trust that i know how to interpret it #manifesting #abundance

[rawdvd]

btw i just turned 24 and yesterday and i made a random comment about something and all the sudden my mom was like “…oh my god do you think you’re dyslexic” and to put it simply my brain has exploded

#ITS LITERALLY SO OBVIOUS…..HOW DID WE NEVER THINK OF THIS 😭😭😭 #makes sense i didnt notice thats just my brain. wild my family didnt . but mainly UM MY TEACHERS????? #most of my school struggles looking back feel so clear!!!! how did they not know!!!! my god!!!! #anyways hooray i feel like everything in the world just got clearer :) obvious gonna think on it more but my god its been sitting there- #RIGHT IN OUR FACES!!!

[nexttothelamp]

<3

#hot damn #i dont usually come here to write about good things but #god damn i caught myself SINGING again #SINGING #...i used to do that all the time. always have. it might even be like a stimming thing for me #...i dont know when i got so sick i stopped. in fact i didnt notice the lack of it until i just caught myself doing it #im only seven days into recovery after 2 lomg miserable years and im already starting to come back i think #honestly i dare not think it. i cant handle the disappointment again #but the brain fog was gone aftrr 3 days #18 months of my brain being slow and thick and never getting my point across #stutter and speech tick becoming infinitely worse #and then it was just... gone #7 days #7 days and im singing again #i fell to my knees the moment i realized and literally just. sobbed #im never gonna take anything for granted again. this was more than a wake up call #this is a new beginning for me I think #fuck. only 7 days #today is also the first day in over a year i ate fresh things instead of fast food. no fast food at all today! #the first time i almost burned down the house i stopped cooking. the first time I accidentally cut myself I stopped cutting fruits n veggies #but i cooked today. i ate kiwis and fish and asparagus and im gonna go make more fish and maybe a pot of potato soup #gonna go clean a whole tub of strawberries and eat them all at once right off the leaf #i am going to peel a cucumber and deep throat that motherfucker. 2 bites max im tellin ya #fuck. i'll never take it for granted again im gonna use this life to do as much good as i can #....im too scared to say im actually getting better. cuz what if this is just like last time. what if my last 2 MRIs pick up something? #what if this is just another calm before the storm and im about to live through some new fresh hell i didnt think i could sink to? #...but im seven days into recovery #and today i started singing again #and thats not nothing #id say delete later but i wont

[non-un-topo]

At the crossroads between wondering if it's worth it to basically completely rewrite all my WIPs or just take a break from writing for the rest of the summer

#i noticed every summer i get progressively worse lol #like not in terms of writing but in terms of everything else goin on in my head #i mean if anyone is craving some dark and depressing shit i've got bits and pieces here #it's like i'm writing for an audience even in my own mind. can't finish anything because it's __ __ __ etc and my niche is too niche. #did my last fic really burn me out that much?? i mean it was basically 30 thousand words and there was a LOT packed into it #maybe i should finally respond to comments and i'll feel better. #something's been going on with me for the past couple months (maybe longer) and i'm just annoyed ALL the time #feel like i want to give up everything and stop talking to everyone. ((it could be my out of whack hormones mind)) #so if i haven't been as active and haven't drawn or written much that's why. i'm pulling away and curling in like an atrophied limb. #my brain is just permanently in school mode. i can feel it gearing up for the oncoming year that's going to be super intense. #like would it even matter if i post any more work before september? idk why i can never seem to chill or take a break for even a minute. #i still have drawing projects i want to finish at least! taking me literally all summer because of surprise health problems. #partner was consoling me about how i feel for writing '''weird''' stuff with almost no focus on romance #saying that SOMEbody has to write what i write so that should keep me going. i just tell myself that it could be worse - #- i could be primarily a femslash writer. they are the real heroes and they get no respect. #idk why i'm getting so angsty #i think i might be romance/sex repulsed atm. not in real life at all but in fandom. i'm bored of it. and i'm bored of conversations about i #i'm sure i'll change my mind in what two weeks or so. #maybe i'll try to write something original #i have things in my ask box i should respond to. like asks about my writing. i just haven't been feeling well #so i haven't had the right brain to respond :( but i see the asks and i'm grateful <3 #anyway peace and love

[infizero]

thinking about dl!scar makes me sad for many reasons but one of the worst is thinking about him knowing far too well that grian is unhappy with him and just having to live with that

#they make my brain melt. and srry in advance cause what im about to say is like mainly the shit i made up but bear w me #anyways #like. scar loves him. and grian makes it very obvious that he isnt happy being soulmates with him #and scar just has to go around knowing that. he doesnt WANT grian to be unhappy but there isnt anything he can really do about it #he didnt make them be soulmates #and yet he gets punished for it anyway as if its his fault #also notice i never said grian doesnt love him. its the soulmate thing he doesnt like #maybe if it had been someone else he had been paired with #but with it being scar its just. he cant go thru that again. he is still in that damn cactus ring and now he is literally being forced to #basically do that all over again. with the added bonus of being RESPONSIBLE FOR IF SCAR DIES which is like erm. #the WHOLE crux of why 3rd life fucked him up #i do think grian loves scar but. he loved him once and it ended in tragedy. and he just cant do that again #thats why i believe he distances himself so much from scar in double life #also i will always champion that grian would literally rather die than be forced into a monogamous relationship which is..... #basically what DL is lmao. (3L is different cause despite initially being forced to serve scar he CHOSE to love him) #so add that plus extremely complicated feelings ft. trauma concerning scar equals yeah that mf is gettin outta there!! #btw this is not at all to excuse him if u guys know me you know when it comes to life series grian i HATE HIS ASS!!! #he couldve talked to scar about this. maybe they could have worked something out! but instead he decided to be shady and inconsiderate #anyways GETTING BACK TO WHAT I WAS ORIGINALLY SAYING. #i just think about how hard it'd be to be scar in DL. like you have been forcibly paired up with the guy you love and got lowkey betrayed by #in LL (but you betrayed him too once so does it really matter? and does the bond you forged in the desert really carry over?) #and yeah you're a little annoyed and hurt he kept it from you for that long. but you're ready to work together again #it's just like back then and its great! after all you never really left monopoly mountain. but the problem is he never left the cactus ring #even though you never held it against him. it always affected him more than you didnt it? you seemed to have far different takeaways from 3L #and so now you're sitting in a patch of bamboo feeling like a useless burden (because that is what he keeps treating you as) #and you havent seen your so-called ''soulmate'' in a day #and when you do its like whatever happiness was on his face dies out and he is so painfully unhappy around you #and you both pretend there isn't a smudge of chocolate and crumbs around his mouth #serena.txt #sorry. my demons

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im in a hotel room!!! all by myself!!! thank fuck!!! #lmao i swear so much on here. irl im a literally cannot say fuck person. bc my brain wont let me say certain words lol #but THANK GOD!!!! our last site was pretty killer ngl it went on forever #now ive got all these samples to deal with when we get back ugh #and we went got back to the city we went out to eat at a place where u had to pick stuff #and that was not the vibe i was looking oh god #i sat with the glare of the sun in my eyes so at least i had an excuse to cover my eyes #we met with some collaborator and hopefully i didnt come off as rude it was a bit hard to control my face #i was trying not like start crying or leave my body #my boss very noticeably did not ask how i liked the meal so i prob looked like i was not having a good time #like a week before we left she was like: i never see u ☹️ #and this is why. bc i can only maintain functionality for so long around other ppl #this is why i go into the lab late at night or early in the morning #im on the road to becoming a hermit #i am mentally not well. i mean its not thst bad really but it does inhibit my life so like i would not recommend lol #but im on the way home! or not home but back to my apartment at least #fucking finally. my lips look so fucking bad. they are so visiblly chapped lmao #unrelated

[fishstickfeind]

So was one of yall gonna tell me Chick was in-front of Strip or was I gonna have to find out myself

#i never noticed before #which i dont know why because it literally shows Strip pull up in front of Chick right afterwards #i dont think my brain ever really processed it ajsjskskf #Strip getting to watch Chick wipe out someone what a time #cars screenshot #pixar cars screenshot

[colemckenzies]

tbh :/ i actually hate 90% of books w an explicitly autistic narrator i don't think they're bad or anything it's just for Me Personally i cannot stand how they're written w the assumption that the reader is not autistic and couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be autistic it feels like being gaslit LMAO

#mayb if i had a diagnosis of whatever is going on in my brain it would be better but as it is im just like oh my god. shut up #SORRY #i think it is just bcus it makes me feel like when my dad would be like 'you dont understand how hard it is to be me because #[describes thing i also experience bc im literally the same person as him he has just never noticed]' #i do get it i get how when u feel so isolated and it's so impossible to Connect w people it just becomes the baseline default assumption #but . i just find it grating