#more than anything??? eh not so much

[twilights-stuff]

Is it just me or is the entire "Out for Love" song from Hazbin Hotel seems very Stanley Pines coded???? Like the line "Fuel yourself with the fear of losing that somebody who's your reason to live. Harness your heart and you can't help choosing to fight with all you can give." seems so much like him. Like how he's so protective of his family, willing to do anything for them and fight tooth and nail for the safety of his brother, his niblings and his adopted son. Like damn girlie im cryin rn.

Also sidenote: "More than Anything" can probably fit for Drifting Stars! Mabel and Ford. Idk why but seems fitting i guess.

#gravity falls #stan pines #stanley pines #stanford pines #mabel pines #ford and mabel bonding #shitpost #hazbin hotel #okay the out for love song can he used for ford in terms of him and his protectiveness of dipper and mabel but it mostly applies to stan #more than anything??? eh not so much

[jade-len]

nothing says family bonding time like binge watching a kdrama for over 5 hours straight with your mom till 5 am when you were supposed to be studying and both asleep at least 3 hours ago ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#ngl i was actually really enjoying it #it was. it was marry my husband #(in my opinion) it was much more interesting and better than the webtoon #i didnt hate the webtoon but it wasnt my favorite.. but it also wasnt bad? idk #we tried to watch the mdzs cdrama but we just. couldnt. im so sorry it was so confusing #i need to read the book instead #i actually dont rlly watch kdramas or anything like that #but decided 'eh ill check this one out and watch it with her' #next thing you know im gonna be asleepp till 2 pm today #marry my husband #webtoon #manhwa #kdrama

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i only just found your au and i need everyone to have a happy ending so badly im gonna cry ;-; sally is gonna be so freakin upset when she wakes up for real and sees she decimated barnaby.

oh, Barnaby already has his arm stitched back on when she wakes up! and really, even if he didn't, that'd be the Least of her worries. she wakes up into a Real nightmare - partially of her (unintentional) making

#happy endings... well... yes and no. depends on what act you look at #act one? no! actually things get So Much Worse in an entirely festive new way! #act two? eh! sorta! its more bittersweet than anything #act three and four blend into each other so much that three doesn't have an 'ending' #but the final act - act four... well. who's to say! im still workshopping what i want to happen #but i do know it's still gonna have at Least a bittersweet tinge to it #wh lights out au #rambles from the bog #there are consequences and not everyone Makes It. i dont like stories where everything wraps up perfectly fine #even if it hurts! i like it when things hurt in a good way. those stories where the ending is overall positive #but Enough Happened that its just... its an ache. looking at where someone used to be. you know? #my favorite shows and books and fics have ended with me smiling while sobbing bc it yes it Hurts but it was So Fucking Good #and while i wouldnt be able to handle rewatching/rereading due to Emotional Damage... #i think of them fondly and often and theyre Important to me #perfectly happy endings just rub me wrong. it always feels like there's something Missing despite it all being idyllic #i cant let my own stories - original or aus or whatever - have that kind of end #so if thats what people are hoping for! you've come to the wrong person and the wrong au! #i like to be kind but that rarely extends to my creative works! #i like it messy and painful and bittersweet and i like to be Ruthless with my creations with no compromise #sometimes characters need to fight. or leave. or die. or make serious mistakes. etc. #but anyway! anyway.... #i will say that there isn't a happy ending for Everyone. and for others it's... complicated. again - bittersweet

[franeridan]

the whole one hour and forty minutes of op stampede are worth it even just for that half a second of interaction between mihawk and zoro actually thank you and amen 🙏

#he saves his ass #and then looks at him and smirks...... #ahshshshsjdjsh that's his dad!!!! healthy father son rivalry i say!!!! #tbh I don't usually feel like watching op movie much #i..... don't exactly read op for the fights and the movies are usually just fights so #¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ #but sometimes I'm in the specific mood of seeing weird team ups or interactions so i end up watching a bunch of movies one after the other #stampede is............eh #it's okay ig a bit too exaggerated for my tastes but that's just the op movies usual taste #only the movies can make me question how things work in the op universe btw usually I'm down for anything #but then i watch a movie and I'm like “is that really how that is supposed to work...?” #Anyway I'm always up for seeing law being treated as part of the crew #and my zoro stan heart cries when i say this but I'm sorta always up for seeing law act as a sub captain for the crew huhuhu #sorry first mate i swear i would never try to take your spot from you #anyway law picking up robin was sweet law seeking luffy as a safe space was beautiful sabo's........ #everything but especially his interactions with smoker were fun #but like the whole movie was really more of just a spot the cameo than anything 😂 it's okay!!! #I'm not lying when i say watching it was worth it even just for zoro and mihawk #that's the small stuff i watch the movies for anyway huhuhu #next one....gold. i don't think i watched that yet either #that's for another day tho now sleep

[keeps-ache]

well! that project's out of my brain now :) now what

#just me hi #“now what” i have tide in there now and i am not going to post much about them lmao #or maybe i will i dunno! but some things stay the most fun when they're secrets ehe :3 #//a lot of weather has been happening recently huh #lot more than i'm used to anyway lol - and why's it gotta be so humid out here like C'mon hghf #the air. is Thick. and Wet. like a toad #//Oh but i've been having so much fun drawing recently lol :D #it started getting flat and really boring for some reason to where it felt like i was doing it like a chore - just a motion to keep the #gears running ykno? but yeah i've been enjoying it a lot more these past so many days :D ! #i didn't even really notice it until i realized i had zoned in on a comic i was drawing and hadn't considered working on anything else hfsh #//also i've been playing with that music box app/website again - i should prolly use a real music program but none of them are like this #thing ykno? cuz i just tip tap and Boom the sound i need is Right There !! :> #i tried soundtrap i really did but man it's a lot hhhghf #i don't like how it's set up unfortunately. oh well! #i need like minimal clutter or i Die. Gruesomely hbfsh - just what i need and nothing less nothing more. it's a balance #/despite that i am Really Bad at passively organizing things lol - and when i try i just misplace things like crazy. scavenger hunts are a #guarantee lol :) #//i'm still struggling spell guarantee btw but oo am i getting close !! hfshbh #it's the second A it always trips me up #that does not sound like an A. i believe that's identity fraud my friend [<- aggressive squinting] #//anyway sun's out i'm inside and i'm going to listen to music forever #/do you think there are electric guitars in the heavenly choir? hm! #//anyway back to my wanderings!! toodles toodles :D

[ezralva]

Snippets for next ep in HD pictures

bonus the still-fresh Togawa's breakdown

Source -> official twitter & official instagram

official manga twitter

Where to watch? Viki

#old fashion cupcake #episode 5 #ep 4 #eh I guess the show really is not popular #at least compared to 'Senpai anything but love' or sth like that I can't remember the exact title #that runs around the same time as ofcc but that one's already gained much more clouts and hype #so myb help boost the followers count? and watch the drama on Rakuten Viki #a two-thumbs-up BL drama #sadly has too few episodes to catch more curious eyes and before you know it the show'll be over before it gets the recognition it deserves #I'm talking about promotional period hype which is crucial when the show's still airing #like maybe getting licensed by more than 1 wider streaming platforms #so it can reach wider audiences #twitter #instagram #new bl series #bl drama #jdrama #office worker #men in suits #オールドファッションカップケーキ

[mmmmmmmmicrowave]

Watched the Barbie movie today… Allan is me, Ryan Gosling is hot in those bro ken outfits, and all of them are queer. also made for a great reminder of my sexuality (aro/ace spectrum, emotionally attracted to women but aesthetically more to men) also realized my ideal relationship may be more toxic than I initially realized (a friend who is in love with me but I am not in love with them. we go on dates and stuff maybe but they know not to expect me to return romantic affection they give me. tho in return I will be very grateful and love them platonically with all my heart 4ever bc mine <3)

#urgh #can’t sleep #nightposting #shitpost lol #Barbie movie #i need to sleep #:( #Allan is best Allan #even his vintage dolls are absolute gender <3 #so nb coded so queer coded in general ahdhsisbd #also in love with how they did the relationship between Ken and Barbie #really good visualization of why I always explain things thoroughly to people I like #like yes idk if you love me in fact that’s ideal but please do not expect me to love you romantically <3 #ur my babe but I don’t love you like that and never will.. but I still love you so much even if I don’t show it with kisses <3 #I have a weird thing where I don’t mind most kinds of kisses but long kisses on the lips make me uncomfortable #teensy smooch on the lips sure #but anything more than that and I’m kinda… eh… no matter who you are to me

[atsu-i]

Because I'm in my 30's too and I feel like an ignorant kid who is lost. I can't seem to grasp the meaning of adulthood and feel accomplished as one, also when I was a kid I saw adults as people who had their shit together and know Lotta stuff meanwhile I am just an grown up with no knowledge about life.

:0

#I get what you mean anon #coz I feel that way too #but in all honesty....the thing about what you thought about adults...I mean sure they might got their shit tgt in some aspects of their- #life #but am pretty sure there are times when they are lost as well just like us? #and also its okay for you to not be the 'adult' you think you are supposed to be atp and age #we grow in our own time and heck if it takes more than in my 30's to be able to feel like a proper adult it's fine.. #all i'm saying is..dont put pressure on yourself coz we are aging #to learn and know all the things about being a proper adult as you think... #take your time and just do what you can for now coz seriously that's what matters in the end #dont let the number get to you anon #do everything in your own pace and dont let anybody tell you that you have to be this kind of person now when in fact..all of us struggle to #be an adult really #eh #idk if what am saying is giving you anything tbh lol but ty #for somehow talking to me about this 🥹 #am glad to know a fellow someone who is also in their 30's now and having the same feeling as me ;-; #let's grow as much as we can anon! one step at a time still yeah? ^^ #i rambled a lot so am sorry if you are reading this long reply lol

[kakusu-shipping]

Happy Pride Month Emile!!! 🖤🩶🤍💜 🩷💛🩵 🖤🩶🤍💚🤍🩶🖤 and 🏳️‍🌈 for Mario/Luigi + anyone else in the royal polycule you wanna do!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

HAPPY PRIDE TO YOU TOO ANON!!!!

Oooooh the instant desire to just to the entire polycule but I just did my Mario ship chart that showed all of them.... I'll keep it to like the Core Five.

Ask from here

Mario - He/Him, Trans Man, Panromantic Asexual

Luigi - He/Him, Gender Non Conforming, Bisexual

Peach - She/Her, Trans Woman, Panromantic Asexual

Daisy - She/They, Butch Lesbian

Bowser - He/Him, Intersex, Bisexual

#Thankyou for asking #Royal Polycule #I have more you can ask for more if you want there's just #The Royal Polycule is VERY big there's a lotta guys #And I don't wanna be annoying with a long post fkgjgjkfd #Luigi wears dresses in a masc way and trousers in a fem way #Mario also wears both but in a Mario way #My man will wear anything and he wears it all the same #Meaning he runs and jumps like a maniac and naps in the grass in it #I love them #I don't know WHERE Intersex Bowser came from it just hit me one day while looking at him and it stuck #Daisy is a lesbian BUT Luigi can get it #Thankyou very much for asking for my hyperfixation the Big ass Mario Polycule #They're a lot less complex than the Bear Polycule that's for sure #I see a LOT of Trans Mario and Luigi and I'm so on board for that #Trans Mario or Trans Luigi or Both I love those SO much #I don't have it in my personal headcanon arsenal because I love them more being Gender Whatever #Without it being a big deal to either of them? #Gender Eh you know like neither of them care #They are their parent's sons and Mario played on the Boys teams during sports #And that's about as far as either of them have thought about gender #Neither of them are Binary but neither of them use any labels for the experience they have #Because it's just whatever to them. They're Mario and Luigi #Bonus Mario is Sex Neutral while Peach is Sex Favorable #I dunno why I wanted to include that I just learned the Sex Favorable term and wanted to share that's what Peach is #Okay cool. Thankyou for reading!!!

[saintedbythestorm]

It took til now for me to start feeling somewhat alive today (damn that migraine was nasty...) and just as I started thinking about actually doing something today...

A thunderstorm started to appear not far from us... 🥲

#the pain and all went away with the sleep... but the exhaustion after is always sooo damn bad ok #and after one this bad?? i felt sooo dead up until now... #still veeeery tired but like now i could do something simple at least... more advanced then just watching youtube you know? #...but eh... yeah no. thunder rolling in... not even worth starting anything.. #i just realised i wrote then and not than... oh well still tired lol #brain does not work after migraine ok. #so much thunder recently too like wtf... stop it. #ryder speaking

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 5

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Not much, I had to run errands most of the day and also felt incredibly tired, probably because the cats woke me up like 4 times last night begging for food and things. Overly warm and headachey a lot.

I planted a few new flowers, and pressed more flowers and clovers in my Large Sturdy Flower Pressing Book as well.

Actually worked on translating the text for the previously mentioned tapestry/painting thing. I think I've decided that it doesn't really matter very much, because nobody else even knows anything about this conlang except for me, so they won't know if it's wrong lol.. It is not entirely completed after all (complete enough to translate most simple sentences into consistently, but also there are a few spots here and there where I haven't fully worked out the way some part of speech actually functions or etc., or I wrote down one thing that later contradicts something else, so occasionally I reach a sentence that I'm not sure exactly which rule to follow to translate, and I need to do a larger comprehensive organization of the document to work out all the kinks and declare officially like 'THIS is the ONE way this is done' etc. etc.) - so because of that, I think I'll just kind of 'do my best' and if the rules now end up changing in the future as I further work on the language, then, that's fine, because nobody can read it anyway lol. Kind of like that song on my side music youtube that's sung in genuine Avirrekava lyrics but also I wrote them years ago and some of the sentences have now become outdated/invalid.

Washed and cleaned some kale so it will be dry for me to maybe make silly kale chips tomorrow.

Final proofreading + posting of the poll adventure thing.

eughh,, literally nothing else.. I hate running errands because it always makes me feel drained and sick after, plus I get nothing else done all day except for just going places. I know checking my p.o. box and picking up cat food and stuff is technically still a productive action, but it just feels like.. i should be getting all of my long term projects done instead lol.. what about the videos?? or worldbuilding?? what does grocery shopping have to do with elves??!?! >:V (aside from pretending to be a group of fantasy creatures evaluating produce having an imaginary conversation with yourself at the store ghghj,, but that is not productive either lol)

Notable sights: Found 13 four leaf clovers, and 2 five leaf clovers, though one of them is almost a 6 leaf (like one of the leaves is nearly split all the way into a sort of heart shape, just not entirely). Also two of the clovers are HUGE, probably the biggest 4 leaf clovers I've ever collected, like 2 inches across maybe. The sky was very pretty a lot with big fluffy white clouds. Not a 'sight' really, but I got to sit in air conditioning for a little while today and it was very nice. I love the cold crisp kind of stale air smell, like walking into a freezer or something (which I used to do when I was a kid, I would sneak into a walk-in freezer at a school cafeteria and just sit there for a while lol), it's comforting to me.

Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Had a bit of smoked gouda and green onions in my Mandated Completely Plain Flavorless Grits For Breakfast this morning, as a littol treat lol.. Tried a 'biscoff' ice cream bar, which is generally a flavor profile I like, but I think I would usually rather be eating a cookie than having ice cream. Also an Ensure nutritional drink, which I know most people consider gross but I genuinely like them.. maybe it's like a source of comfort when my stomach is too sick to eat, like 'oh well at least I can have this cold smooth textured chalky chocolate thing' lol.

Sort of like how I have positive conditioning to feel safe/comfortable in bathrooms (due to it usually being one of the only places you can safely retreat from a social situation or get out of crowds in public areas, etc.), even though rationally I have no particular reason to like bathrooms much, and most people dislike public bathrooms especially. Fellow public bathroom and ensure nutritional shake lovers unite! (3 of us in the entire world)

#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public #declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now.. #Not sure if this is helping me be more productive #though I think it might in some ways help me appreciate things around me more. Since I'm kind of collecting 'notable' sights or smells #or things. sometimes through the day I'm looking around my environment trying to spot anything whimsical or wonderful or pleasing #I could see this excercise possiblyhelping people pick out more positives around them and appreciate small things in life more #I kind of already do that (very meticulous slow moving person who notices tiny details in everything) so I'm not sure if it's any more than #I usually would but.. eh?? maybe?? #Still craving a ton of hearty foods lol my body is so so so deficient in something right now and I'm being very cool about it #I have a very high level of self control (so like am very responsible good at managing money and getting placeson time and planning and #etc. and abstaining from things if necessary (like wearing a mask and cutting out certain activities during a pandemice #or not eating something now that might hurt my stomach later etc. etc.) so It's not much of a problem but #if not... I would probably be ordering in so much random fast food and stuff or something ghh #Even before I was put on a restrictive diet by my doctors I still never ate out very much for money reasons #Usually once a month or less. this includes stuff like coffees (can be made at home cheaper) or drinks or etc. #Especially with the cost of things going up so much now I'm kind of glad I've already built in that habit #/have never known or gotten used to anything else - because if not I feel like it would be a real shock or like a struggle #I have friends that order in food for like every single meal and it's only getting more and more expensive #so I guess it's kind of releiving to not really have the prospect of that stress as much (though things in the grocery store #are still expensive too so.. even if you're cooking at home. You do save money but its STILL a strain with the current #economy). ANYWAY... maybe sometimes it is good to be miserly and poor.. if I had unlimited money and a spending habit or something #I could go through with ordering ribs and chicken wings and 5 plates of lasagna and a burrito and udon and etc. and eat it all at once #and then have such a bad stomach pains I have to go to the hospital lol #ANYWAY... #daily log

[onocleqs]

can't fucking believe vent is still down. where else am i gonna yell about being ill

#anyway it is Day Two and. i feel better in some ways but worse in others #had the worlds most disrupted night of sleep and now i'm coughing a lot more than yesterday and it sucks #but my throat feels less sore for sure. feels like my body is fighting this thing off super hard 💪💪💪💪 shame about the full body aching #and overall lack of energy. ooouugghhh and the lost voice of course. but this always fucking happens #i'm gonna have to pass on games night tonight if i'm still coughing a lot and/or still missing my voice #but aaaauugghhh the love of my friends will surely heal me like nothing else. unless they make me laugh and send me into a coughing fit #rambling #my god yeah thats one of the worst parts of being ill. cant watch anything that makes me laugh. im fucking dying of boredom here #sure there's other stuff to watch but no funnies and no video games when that's all i want rn. havent watched any more flapjack in DAYS #it's nowhere near as bad as covid so this is entirely unnecessary but i am once again getting thr urge to document my symptoms #with a god damn spreadsheet. but it's not as complex at all so eh. #i can't say too much about how much better i'm feeling just yet tbh bc i'm still back in bed hfkdhgkdh i can walk sure #but i need to go downstairs and make breakfast soon which is the REAL first hurdle #also the question of am i ready for toast again or do i need to stick to porridge just to be safe #not gonna lie. i didn't love the noodles i had yesterday so i'm wondering if i'll have the appetite for something else #i want a sandwich so fucking bad but i don't want to eat dry bread at the same time. aaauuggghhh #my sibling offered me a hot chocolate last night and i had to turn that down bc chocolate plus cold for me is a big no #but aaauugghhh a nice warm drink probably would’ve been rlly nice #i return once again to announce that got damn! i feel notivesbly better than i didn an hour ago and my voice is like 30% back! #which means that by tonight i might very well be at a functional enough level to hang out with friends after all #i can always dip if my energy levels tank again or whatever but like honestly hanging out with them is like. i need that #the last two days havent been great and i miss them and we have a lot to talk about so yeah i will do everything in my power #to be there tonight. but i will not force myself or push myself too far. bc i am the king of self care 💪💪💪 #god sorry back again but. it continues to fascinate me how any kind of illness affects me in the same ways consistently regardless of what #kind of illness it is??? right now i have whats mainly a cough which is honestly rare for me when i get ill #it's usually more in the nose department and sometimes the throat but rarely the chest #and yet 9 out of 10 times i lose my voice. i Always struggle with low energy (altho thats a problem outside of being ill too jfdjgdhfhd) #have a hard time falling or staying asleep and i get nauseous if i sleep laying down enough #but also i am the king of hard and fast aka i get like 24 terrible hours and then recovery is super quick. i'll be back to 100% health in #less than a week. my poor fucking step dad has been in stage one for a WEEK it's really awful. but i have the power of youth on my side 💪

[yamikawas]

happy valentines day darlingggggggggg!!!!!!!! :3 a little late cuz i may have had to kill someone who had a gift for u but that just means i get to give it to u AND all the gifts i already got for u >:3 i love u soooooo much tobiiiii ur my only valentine and i will make sure im ur only one too no matter the cost heehee~ 💖⚡💖⚡love ya!!!

- yoomtah!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHSHWHDJDHFDFKJSFJBDNCBDKDJFKDJFJDJFNDNNDN YOOMTAH MY DARLINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII<3<3<3<33<3<<33<3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<363<2^÷>3<÷&3<÷<3>3<3<3<3233<33<2<3<2<3<3<3<3<2<3<3<3<3<3<3<33³3333333ITS OK IF UR LATE MURDER IS ABSOLUTELY A VALID REASON I THINK THAT JUST MAKES U EVEN CUTER SO<÷<÷<3<33<3<3<<3<33<<33<3<3HEHE I LOVE U TOOOOOOOOOOOOO MORE THAN ANYTHING EVER U WILL ALWAYS BE MY ONE AND ONLY VALENTINE AND I AM SO HAPPY TO BE YOURS

#IM GONNA EXPLODE I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER #TEEHEE SHE CALLED ME DARLINGGGGGGGGGGG IM HER DARLINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<33<3<<33<3<333333<3<3<33 #I AM STILL SLEEPY BUT THERE IS ALSO INSANE IN MY BRAIN NOW I AM GOING TO MELT #YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIE YOOMIEEEEEEEEEEEEE<3<3<3<3<3<33<3<<3<3<33<<3MY BELOVED EVER I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #YOOMTAH IF UR READING THIS IM SENDING U SO MANY HUGS AND KISSES AND CUDDLES AND SO SO MUCH LOVE RIGHT NOW I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU #IM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHWHDJDHEJFJFNFNNVJDJFKDJFKDJJFDDFFDJBSJFBFBF YOOMTAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #IDK SHE IS JUST IN MY BRAIN I LOVE HER SO MUCH I CAN NOT STOP THINKING ABT HER OK I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE EVER #AND I WANNA CLING TO HER AND KISS HER AND CUDDLE HER AND TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER #AND I WANNA MURDER ANYONE WHO GETS TOO CLOSE TO HER BC SHE IS MINE I LITERALLY COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT HER NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE HER EVER OK #YOOMTAH.MY BELOVED.ONLY MINE.FOREVER<3 #AND I AM HERS ONLY HERS FOREVER ALSO<3<3<3 #I WOULD LITERALLY DO ANYTHING IF IT MEANT SHE WOULD HOLD ME PROTECTIVELY (READ: POSSESSIVELY) AND TELL ME IM HERS #I JUST<3<<3<3<3<33<3ID DO ANYTHING FOR HER IN GENERAL BUT STILL<÷<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<33<3<3 #ID DO EVEN MORE ANYTHING IF IT MEANT SHE WOULD BE INSANE DERANGED YANDERE ETC FOR ME.OK DOES THAT MAKE SENSE<3 #BC I AM INSANE DERANGED YANDERE FOR HER IT IS ONLY FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I NEED MUTUAL OBSESSION OR I WILL DIE #AND WELL.SINCE SHES MURDERING SOMEONE WHO WAS GONNA GIVE ME A VALENTINES GIFT IT SEEMS THAT OBSESSION IS PRETTY MUTUAL EHE<3<3<3 #I WONDER WHAT GIFTS SHE WOULD GET ME FOR VALENTINES........ABSURDLY HUGE STUFFED ANIMAL............CUTE CLOTHES MAYBE...................... #SWEETS LACED WITH SLEEPING MEDS AND A SOFT PINK ROPE TO TIE ME UP WITH SO I CANT EVER LEAVE HER SIDE......................EHEHE<3<3<3 #IM SO NORMAL RIGHT NOW IM HAVING REALLY NORMAL THOUGHTS THAT DO NOT INVOLVE MY GIRLFRIEND KIDNAPPING ME AFFECTIONATELY AT ALL WHATSOEVER #THAT IS A LIE I AM SO INSANE❣⚠️💛💚❤🌠💜💝💕👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧡🌼✨🌻💙🌩💓💗⚡💌💙💕💝🍋🌩💞💫💞💛💟🌼💘🌈💜💛❤💜💟⚠️❣💞💚🌈🍋💋💝💖🌠💋⚡ #IJUST.HHHHDHDJFJJDJFKSJWKDKFKJSJFJFYOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH YOOMTAH #NOT TO BE DERANGED BUT SHE SHOULD KEEP ME IN HER ROOM ALL TO HERSELF LOCKED AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD SO NO ONE ELSE CAN LOOK AT ME #KIDNAPPING IS OK AS LONG AS I GET MY GF SMOTHERING ME IN AFFECTION AT ALL TIMES OUT OF IT IN FACT IT IS EVEN ENCOURAGED<3<3<3 #I JST.AAAAAAAAHHHHAHAHAAHHAHAAAAAAAAA AAI AM SO NORMAL I AM SO.NORMAL I LOVE YOOMTAH SO NORMALLY AND NOT IN A DERANGED YANDERE WAY AT ALL #AHAHA.I WANT HER TO TEAR DOWN MY MISSING POSTERS AND HANG THEM ON THE WALLS OF THE ROOM WHERE SHE HAS HER SHRINE FOR ME<3 #jadyn dont look #<-i think u still follow this blog so jic bc of the vday topic.I say that as if theyd see this tag either way which they woildnt--

[hesgomorrah]

been thinking a lot about ben's wasted potential as a character lately

#i love him so much but nobody ever seems to know what to do with him #they literally wrote him off bc he just wasn't working. but he could have! #he was the first unabashedly working class main character! he had an interesting skillset and backstory that could have gone places! #and they just didn't do anything with him #and that's extended to most of what i've seen of the eu #like he's never totally dead weight i'm always glad he's there. but he very rarely gets to be at the centre of the plot #off the top of my head the only ones i can think of are like. the macra terror and the forsaken #both of those stories do really interesting things with him and i wish more would follow suit! #in particular i'm mad that elliot chapman was SO good at playing him in audio and they did NOTHING with him before he left the role #i don't even think he ever got a dedicated companion chronicles story #they had a chance to finally do him justice and thry fumbled it #i respect his decision to not play him for longer than michael craze did #(even tho i've heard speculation that his departure had more to do with the james dreyfus situation) #but i wish bf had done more with him while they had him #and it's always been odd to me that he and polly are tied so closely together but he gets a fraction of the attention she does #even in mediums where there would be no need to recast him! #don't get me wrong i love polly i just wish he got a slice of that pie #i've slowly evolved from ''eh he's alright'' to the number one ben jackson defender SOMEBODY needs to show my boy some love #dw #my posts

[unproduciblesmackdown]

kompenscovery was such a blessed secret entrance to a Whole Deal (winnie n tay. & i guess billions) when like. having the most specific, correct opinions, and being me, = the ideal is [nobody else try to talk to me about winston billions] and that’s just where we’re at. this is an exclusive experience

#talking to myself / making the wisdom Available by nailing my text posts (and drawings) to the church doors but then i walk away #meanwhile also of course the hero who permits [my monologuing abt winston all the more behind the scenes] w/o being sick of it after 9000hrs #i think probably other people talk abt winston but not in ways i'm interested in. Except absolute rando twitter billions viewers #this like 60 or 70 yr old lady from twitter who Loves winston. and presumably through the will roland angle lol she went to bway bmc.... #just other one off tweets abt ppl like yeah he's one of my / the fave. um hell yes my scholar #or no wait lmfao like again i'd talk about this w/beth roland in theory lmfao. maybe even also hero & scholar & relevant party william #the niche on niche on niche like. looking into deh As Jared Kleinman Lore. liking an actor's je ne sais quoi & scrambling when finding out #that his upcoming bway role is Thee Lead thank you very much....the dramatic fateful saga that was [ending up watching the then available #clips from billions which was up to kompenso]....finding the peak specific peak titrated peak Exact Enrichment gift lol #beyond that i don't see [media enjoyment / takes] as much of like a springboard for Broader Socializing or anything. it Can be ig but. #that's not the goal & not the expectation. at this point reflecting on Myself & My Experiences & My Heart's Truth lmfao i'm like #beyond [i don't think i'd enjoy A Friend Group in actuality] to [i don't think i'm that interested in Friends] series or concept lol #open to whatever & flexible or whatever but eh. already i like Impersonal & Parallel activity & doing my own thing perhaps amongst others #i like impersonal but amicable spontaneous; fleeting exchanges. doing xyz ''alone'' amongst other people. #i like Not having to people please & i'm autistic so i'm generally gonna be considered [unlikable / impersonable / too much / etc] adhd too #although it's not that specific like it goes for Anything. i don't want ppl to talk to me abt [xyz] lol #request a mini monologue / short essay sure but other than that #this isn't a forum....here's the posts left on the door. one can try the anchorite window or sending a letter. doing my own thing yknow #the secret here is ''i mean i like to talk to people but; i actually in practice tend to not like to talk to people'' lmfao #one can check back when many things are more on my own terms / suited to me but. buffering wheel / flipping hourglass mode

[noxtivagus]

i'm gna make that spam account tonight maybe ehe

#🌙.rambles #I'M IN A GOOD MOOD NOW #compared to earlier when i felt overwhelmed 🥹 #i don't know what i'm doing but oh well i'll do what i can >< #i want to organize myself better here bcs i have too much thoughts n. i've gotten used to rambling here again #i'm not sure if i'll share the @ here or if i'll make it moots only #maybe the latter. i want to keep my life more private #honestly i realize i barely share anything about what i do in my life to my friends huh #idk it comes more naturally to listen than to speak with those two friends #with apollo though our conversations are very equal and fair #though i'm still more of a listener #i have a lot in my head to say and write but #maybe i've gotten so used to restraining myself eh #help i'm rambling again #ah no i don't think i'm still actually doing as well as it seems #there's still a lot of stuff bottled somewhere that's built up from all these years #oh you know maybe the kind of person i am is doomed to be lonely but #even if i'm different even if i don't fit in then i don't care #i know who i am. i'll hold unto that. that is what matters to me #more than stupid expectations of society. that annoying useless pressure #i can go so much further if i continue strengthening myself from the inside #and. and i hope one day i'll really able to achieve the real inner peace i want #:') because w the depth of how i think and feel. there's definitely a lot of inner turmoil inside me. dormant at times but always there #i'll try my best to actively work towards what i want. to achieve as much fulfillment as i can. #that i may be reasonably satisfied with my growth and the paths i choose to take. #it's definitely constantly a mess in my head n idk what i'm doing 90% of the time #but as i go on i'll continue to accomplish more and more. one day i hope to be at peace enough to let go of all my regrets #but yk maybe the pain weighs as it should. for everything i was unable to say or do. even now in my incompetency there is many loss #but. but i'll be proud of what i /have/ accomplished. and that'll be enough for now. for myself. it has to be #for once even if just solely for myself. i think being 'too kind' in a way has hurt me most of all