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the-tf2-gremlin · 2 years

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Chapter 3: The Welcoming Committee

WARNING, THIS FICTION CONTAINS SCENES THAT MAYBE TO DISTURBING TO SOME READERS. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

The room seemed eerily still and quiet. That at least sure helped his AWFUL migraine. At the moment his memory was hazy and scattered, but he vaguely remembered seeing a pipe wrench… Ah. It was coming back now. Like he was “told” to do, he was working away in his lab, undisturbed by anyone for about 5 days.

Or was it 7…? Didn’t matter. Time had little consequence when meddling in the name of science. Unless it had a expiration date… Definite game changer then.

Not even then did anything really matter. None of it did. Thinking required too much effort. And the capacity to really care. All he cared about at the moment was the throbbing ache nagging at his skull. Ugh. Doing ANYTHING, even worrying about his MIGRAINE required effort. Effort he didn’t have at the moment. So, what he lacked in short supply at the moment was a sound mind, ability to truly give a schiesse und effort. Perfect.

Just what he needed. Life just help giving away freebies today. Softly he groaned, wincing at the pain in his temples as he attempted to sit up. The pain radiated in waves, through his back, shoulders and hips. The effort itself, made him cry out in pain and take a few breaths to try and ease it down. WOW what a mistake sitting was.. Schiesse, how hard did Engie HIT him?!

Aside from that he began wondering about how much harder he was going to SMASH the Engineer’s nose in. That thought was thrown to the side once his eyes reluctantly began to focus on his surroundings. Well, when he managed to muster the nerve to open them. Everything was blurry. No glasses. Schiesse. And… Was it his eyes or… this place?This place was… oddly dark.

Uh oh. This surely wasn’t a hospital… Hospitals were never fun when you were on the receiving end of the treatment…. He’s had plenty of experience… A prison cell would’ve been a delight, which was what he was expecting. With a faint gasp of panic, his train of thought which was already on fire and speeding over 150 mph off a dead end cliff just flew off its tracks, as it careered off the edge of the canyon. Before his mental train of thought burst into a fiery smashing demise, a bright flash of light blinded him, making his silly little mind games come to a screeching halt. Light meant someone was home. Or at least, present. Being under the light in a dark room NEVER BODED WELL. This was definitely a situation he did not desire to be in… again.

Tears stung at his eyes, and he moved his arm to try and block the light causing his head to THROB and BEAT harder than his heart was. But, despite his command his arm didn’t move. Ice filled his veins, followed up briskly with a cold sweat heading his already chilled skin. Again, he tried to raise his arm. No dice. Other arm, same results.

Only this time he had SENSATION in that arm. Oh, that definitely wasn’t güt. With a swift tug, he felt something keep his arm firmly in place. It felt like a thick leather strap, on some sort of metal table. A FREEZING cold metal table. At least put a blanket down or something, geeze. Customer service was getting an C- at this rate. He’s been in prisons whose metal beds were more comfortable! A faint chuckle escaped his lips, as he remembered his own days of misadventures before he became a mercenary. Oh, güt times.

Ah, he does miss the days of nearly having his own organs harvested. Oddly enough, he managed to escape on several occasions and stole EVERYONE ELSE’S organs instead! Black Market dealings typically ended badly. No matter WHERE you were in the world. Good chance what you’re trying to buy could be you served on the platter next.

ESPECIALLY ORGANS. Never know when your kidney might be served with some fava beans a nice Chianti… Everyone needed them, organs organs organs. Apparently they were a big deal. But, not everyone had a bad reputation like he did….

The mess he left was definitely one he got driven out of that country for…. And they had such good spleens!!! And some decent prices on livers, kidneys were crap though. Selection was terrible! Not a good year for him. Hence why he never set foot back in that market ever again. At least he got all those organs for free that day! Jolly good times! Well, wasn’t for the unfortunate fools who hardly underestimated his sharp wit and very flexible wrists.

All the while he was having faint flashbacks down memory lane, he focused on the situation at hand. With a grunt, he did his best to wiggle and twist his left hand and wrist, attempting to slip his hand out from under the strap. Nothing seemed to work. This… DEFINITELY wasn’t part of the plan. Panic was already settling in, and his usual tactics to try and calm himself using fond memories didn’t seem to work this time. How badly he wished Misha would set a hand on his shoulder and tell him to breathe, force him to focus on his face and eyes… steady him…. How badly he needed him.

Shock hit him when he realized why he was so cold. Everything, everything he was so familiar with, was missing. The lab coat, gloves and boots were missing, and he was down to just the tank top and the pants he had in during his time as the lab. Verdampft! Clearly, whomever was holding him captive wasn’t as stupid as he had hoped.

If only they left his gloves! That was how he got out LAST TIME. Slowly, timidly, he shifted his left shoulder a bit. No sensation. That was BAD. Possibly dislocated for too long… but not broken. From what he could guess at least… It had taken several breaths before his blood pressure felt level enough to try and see what was going on. Hopefully, he just laid on his arm wrong and cut off circulation… and that there wasn’t any major damage… He honestly hated himself when he attempted to diagnose his own problems… Old habits die hard.

The panic he was was short lived and ruined by a flicker of that horrid bright light. How badly he desired so SMASH IT. The lights above were far too bright, and he growled in frustration at the pulsating lights. Ugh, MAKE IT STOP. If he had his syringe gun that cursed light would be in shambles on the floor with a few hundred needles poking out of its mangled metal frame and shattered glass.

With a weary sigh, Ludwig did his best to focus. Sit up. See what’s going on. Staying here wasn’t really an option… After a couple moments of mustering all his inner core strength, he started trying to inch himself into a sitting position. With a grunt of exertion, his body responded but nothing seemed to happen. Just like his wrists, elbows and shoulders, his entire chest was carefully pinned down with a thick strap of sturdy brown leather.

When he thought he evaded it, his panic and sweats returned with a vengeance. That horrid sweat seemed to worsen, and he could hear the blood roaring in his ears. How long had the roaring in his ears been…. He didn’t remember… Uhm…. Probably not a good thing that he didn’t notice that before… A shuttered breath slipped past his quivering lips. He wasn’t sure if he was shaking out of anger, fear, or how UNBELIEVABLY cold he was.

The sound of faint footsteps, a couple of female voices and the scraping of a metal door being pushed open made his eyes snap wide open. He doesn’t remember closing them. Since he couldn’t move his head much due to the pain, he did his best to shift his eyes to the noise and sound. Wait- why did that sound familiar…. Oh, verdampft.

That nail on a chalkboard voice was unmistakable. Oh, he was in DEEP shit. The other voice was softer, equally commanding, but was more timid and restrained. Submissive. With a annoyed grunt he rolled his eyes. Ugh, he truly hoped by now that she would be dropped dead from all her chain smoking. Ludwig didn’t think he would ever see a worse case of chain smoking than Spy’s. It wasn’t often he stood corrected…

��This is UNBELIEVABLE, Ms. Pauling. How in the HELL could this have happened?! Do you have ANY IDEA how much danger this situation puts us ALL in? Because they didn’t stop him IN TIME?!” The older woman croned, her voice as pleasant as gravel in a blender. The sigh from the second woman gave her his answer of how much trouble their little scheme had put her in. If he did manage to escape this place, Miss Pauling was going to hunt his ass down and kick it so hard he wouldn’t be able to repair the damage she’d leave behind. “This is a disaster. The only reason this is POSSIBLY OKAY is because the lab was destroyed and clearly according to the records that were pulled by the SPY, none of the experiments succeeded!”

That made Ludwig relax, letting out a very soft sigh of relief. It worked… Spy’s plan worked. They’d be safe… they didn’t know they existed. No harm would come to them… There was a long stretch of silence, interrupted by the soft clicks of a lighter. Something being lit on fire and a long soft intake of air. The silence was cut off by the sound of the older crone heaving an exaggerated breath out, followed by someone coughing softly close by.

“Admin- COUGH! Administrator, the files were correct. Red Man over stepped his contract and attempted to force a RETIRED mercenary to work due to blackmail. And, any and all records of the Dr.’s progress was destr-“

The younger woman’s comment was cut off abruptly with a loud bark. “ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE? For some reason I have a VERY hard time trusting you, especially since my best WORKER managed to let that BASTARD SLIP through the cracks!” The Administrator snapped angrily, before the unmistakable voice of Ms. Pauling snapped right back.

“It was not my fault that the file disappeared, and I was the one forced to look for it everywhere, which is when RED MAN struck, ma’am.” Ms. Pauling said with absolute poise and professionalism, with only the slightest hint of attitude.

The Administrator sneered. “Yet I hold your life in my hands, Ms. Pauling. You best not forget that.”

It has taken a moment for the Administrator to recollect herself, before the doors to whatever room he was in screeched in protest as they opened. The sound made Ludwig wince, as he did all he could to keep his head from splitting open. The pain from the gut wrenching sound was enough to make tears sting his eyes once more. At the moment he felt blinded, the pain so bad he couldn’t even process it or anything going on around him. Still, he felt a faint amount of relief. This wasn’t the worst situation he’s found himself in. Unfortunately this was like a normal Tuesday…

“Mister Ludwig… I’d say I’m happy to see you, but quite frankly I’m not. Plus I only lie when I am in a GOOD MOOD…” she said curtly, as she strode into the room, the clicks of her tall heels making contact with the metal floor. Click click click. The sound made Ludwig’s already awful headache worsen. Oh no wait. She managed to do that by still breathing. If he could even logically define what she did as breathing…

Her bony frame looked like she was vacuumed sealed over a woman’s skeleton with what could be described as something that once was a woman’s beautiful skin. Now…. Ancient and decrepit suit of shrunken overly stretched LEATHER stuck tightly over her bones. Looking at her was always difficult since he had a very bad habit if pointing out things he found “medicinally fascinating.” How she could even still breathe without gasping like a fish was a medical anomaly in of itself if he was quite blunt…

“Ah, Administrator, the feeling is MUCH MORE zhan mutual…” he said slyly, barely keeping that edge of professionalism he once held to so easily. “Tell me, vhat is it zhat landed me here, hm? Iz it zhe fact zhat our deal vas BROKEN, und mein ONE FILE ZHAT WAS TO BE DESTROYED after mein contract vas up is now FLOATING AROUND GOTT KNOWS VHERE?!”

The Administrator glared at him with such disgust. They were eye to eye now. How…? Quickly, Ludwig glanced down. The leather straps on his chest had snapped from his strength, and his rage blinded him to the pain. Much to his shock, he was fully sitting up, hands still pinned down into the table but, at least he was upright now. Quickly, the pain returned, along with the severe ache of the straps lashing against his skin, leaving nasty marks and bruising.

The silence was broken by a all too familiar sound. A soft series of clicks and stray red dots swirled around his shoulders and down to his chest, making Ludwig flinch. Ah.. that was why the room was so dark. The Administrator wouldn’t be caught dead without her guards all around. Clearly, she’s got more than one sniper around. How many did she have…? Of every one of the mercs that retired…? How quickly were they replaced?

“That, and the other ELEPHANT in the room is why you’re here! You went along with his scheme instead of reporting it to us. Red Man has been removed from this company and for him to even THINK about contacting you all, even AFTER retiring is VERY worrisome. That thick skull of yours has far too much information and medical know how to be used in the wrong hands. WHICH IT JUST WAS.”

“Ah but he vas indeed OUR employer! Und he had a verhy good argument! And not to forget zhe fact zhat the file is missingh…. So do WE have any further business? I think not… I did vhat you wanted, youh paid me und youh all got zhe challenging entertainment or vhatever you labeled our murdering one another as…” He pauses with a little nonchalant shrug. “So, I’d be arhe done here I’d like to go home-“

His words were cut off by a soft click and a foreign object pointed at his forehead. A soft sigh escaped his lips with an eye roll. “Ah zhe threats continue, I see. Funny, we both know you cannot pull zhat trigger and risk losingh all zhe information I HAVE. But that blow to the head sure made everyzhing hazy-…”

“Shut up. The more pressing issue is the fact that you and the employers have very important information. You’re even more of a sick bastard than I am, Mister Ludwig. Lying is what WE’RE both good at. My question is, does your husband know how your children came to be? In actuality?” She smiled, teeth showing. Ludwig absolutely paled, casting a betrayed look at Miss Pauling. Even in the shadows he could see she refused to meet his gaze. The bitterness in his chest boiled, red filling his vision. THEY KNEW. WHO TOLD THEM?! The gun was now pressed firmly against his forehead, but he didn’t flinch. All he did was GLARE daggers at the Administrator.

“Youh do ANYZHINGH TO ANY OF ZHEM UND I SWEAR-“ he snapped savagely, and she lightly tsked him and traced his jawline with the gun’s muzzle. If he was younger he would’ve tried to bite at the gun. Age clearly has started to slow him down...

“Mr. Ludwig, we have zero intentions for harming the children. In fact the reason you’re here is to make sure their EVER end up in the wrong hands. You have next to no IDEA what you have done, or how much danger you might’ve put them in.” She stated bitterly, a soft smirk crossing her lips. “Too bad, we if we don’t reach an agreement, your family goes without our protection. You can’t have any more of that kind of blood on your hands, can you~?” She asked in the sing song tone, which felt like acid being poured into his ears.

Now Ms. Pauling was staring right at him. Green eyes wide with worry and concern, she very slowly nodded just behind the Administrator’s back. Ms. Pauling had gone through extreme lengths to help keep each of them alive through their time in the war. Honestly, it was the sole reason they were still alive instead of slaughtered to keep the secrets of Mann Co. hidden with each of the mercs… how, not even Spy knew. Whatever Ms. Pauling offered them, it was enough to not have each of them murdered for the vital intel they all carried. With a loud growl, he relaxed slightly. Being submissive was never his strong suit…

“Before…. I agree to anyzhing…. I’d like to be sure I FULLY understand how zhis…. Protection vhill vhork. I do not vhant my children knowing of zhis… and I don’t vhant zhem to ever know of zhis place und zhe war… or to EVER. SET FOOT ON ANY OF ZHE BATTLEFIELDS. OR TO EVER END UP ANYVHERE NEAR ANY OF YOURH FUTURE MERCENARIES! Do youh understand?” He snapped, tugging against the restraints again. Unfortunately, the straps on his arms didn’t budge or crumple like the chest straps.

The Administrator smiled. That smile was the kind a fox would tell a foolish rabbit, that if the rabbit went down into the fox’s den first, the fox wouldn’t eat it. “Of course mister Ludwig. We just ask a couple small favors… First… where did your Spy take that folder of your information to…?” She asked, her voice cold and rigid. Ms. Pauling was dead still, stone faced and fiddling with her papers she clutched to her chest. She had continued checking her watch every other second. Ludwig just gave her a rather cocky grin in return.

“Oh? OH ZHOSE! Oh Ja!” He said eyes twinkling with that spark of classic Dr. Ludwig’s famous punchlines. “Zhat lovely file he gave to me is BURNED, zhe only copy of mein birth name, history and all mein past is torched. Just like the Red Man lab zhat was provided to meh for zhe…” Ludwig rolls his eyes hims softly and rolls his hands for emphasis. “Experiments, testing, ja ja ja…. Vhell…” The slight eye twitch and crumbling of that cocky expression on the Administrator’s face made him BEAM.

“Burnt to zhe ground! Ah Pyro would’ve loved it! Unfortunately our favorite fire bug is living vith Dell, since Dell seems to have bonded vith him zhe best!“ he said, looking chipper as ever. As if the gravity of his children’s lives and futures didn’t hang in the balance. That was one thing he had become incredibly good at, distraction and decoy tactics. Lying was his specialty. Plus having the reputation as the MAD doctor sure did work wonders when you needed to weasel out of bad situations… like this one.

The look of utter anger and disgust on the Administrator’s face was nearly enough to make him laugh out loud. Clearly, that was not what she wanted to hear. “You…. BURNT THE FILE?!” She roared, slamming her hands down on the edges of the table just narrowly missing his arms and hands. The table rattled and shook, but that smile and coy look plastered on his face didn’t.

“Ja! Und zhe whole lab. Gone. Ash. Spy made sure everythingh was carefully planned. If Red Man we’re to check zhe labs for remains, he’ll never find anyzhingh! Zhe file, und zhe lab were designed to be utterly decimated! Thankfully zhe engineer had everythingh rigged to destroy itself, crafty man he iz! Red Man NEVERH said I couldn’t vhork in mein own lab. So… Spy und Engineer helped meh make onhe according to Red Man’s specifications! So no more worries about zhe file, no morhe blackmail and technically at zhis rate I vas never born, since zhe only file iz gone. So technically, I am free as a bird! All zhe information in zhe lab is gone. Red Man failed. So…. Zhat leaves zhe question…”

Medic leaned forward, smiling. “Let us discuss zhe safety und vhen you’ll return me home to mein family, ja….? Since everything you wanted is done… und zhat little secret is gone…. Und now mein family has protection… zhere is only one last zhing to discuss… makingh sure our children are not targets in zhe future, be either BLUE OR RED teams…. I vhant proof. A snake trusting another snake is risky. I vhant equal trade. An eye for an eye…. Othervise VE don’t have a deal.” The smile that once reached rested on his face was replaced with a firm, dead set scowl. Ludwig and the Administrator GLARED murderously at one another. The pistol shook lightly in her hands.

Judging from how tightly she was clamping down on that cigarette, meant the Administrator knew she was at a bit of a loss. Or rather, worried if she doesn’t do what he wants she’ll lose more than just him and his information. There was a faint twitch of her left eye and she smiled very slowly, closing her eyes and nodded once. With a harsh bark of a laugh, she tucked her pistol back into it’s hiding place, with a long drag of her cigarette.

“Very well then… let us discuss this business transaction… I look forward to seeing what… agreement we can reach. It has been a good long while since I have had someone with the GALL to stand up to me or give me an ACTUAL INTELLECTUAL CHALLENGE… So let’s see what will become of this little chat, Dr… Ludwig….”

**Several days later**

“Vhell. That sure vhasn’t an easy compromise, ja? I ahm just glad we managed to work somethingh out-“

“You’re on EXTREMELY THIN ICE MISTER Ludwig. We expect you to… at least attempt to keep your end of the bargain and we will keep ours. Remember, we are WATCHING YOU. Try anything, and we will easily find all of you. And don’t forget, death itself can’t save you anymore. Not even the “Russian” can save you from my wrath. This has been a massive pain in my as, side and head. I hope we never cross paths again. For my sake and for theirs. We meet again, and it will not end well for anyone you love.” The Administrator cut him off, eyes narrowed and took a dangerously long drag on her cigarette. “You do any more PROJECTS, like that again, and we will have no choice but to confiscate anything regarding it-…”

A harsh bark of a manic laugh escaped Ludwig’s mouth, and he paused only to catch his breath. “Oh ohhohoho! Frau Administrator, if it ever came to zhat, I assure youh, death itself nor Satan could stop me from doing absolutely anything possible to ruin EVERYTHING YOU HAVE MADE. Satan isn’t on your side, Frau… nor is he on mein. He picks zhe side willing to make a better dheal. Und you cannot top zhe one I already given. Gott in Himmel cannot help youh. Nothing can stop me if ANYTHINGH happens to any of zhem. Yourh threats mean nothingh to meh. I keep mein end of zhe bargain and youh keep yourhs. Simple as zhat. Und nothing will happen to break zhat. If I could be sent home now before zhings get out of hand-“

“Oh yes. About that. Since you so GRACIOUSLY managed to convince half of my workers that your food was SAFE TO EAT and infected them all with some rare botanical fungus that has now spread through half of the entire FACILITY, I fear the only way we can get you home is wait till they get better, or… We have Miss Pauling take you home… We don’t bother to ask your husband since surely that would’ve gone over SWIMMINGLY to explain YOUR MESS to him. I’m sure you ALREADY have told him…” The grin on the Administrator’s face widened as Ludwig squirmed slightly in his seat. “I’ll take that as a no…” she chided softly, with a soft chuckle that made Ludwig’s blood boil.

The two glared one another down, eyes narrowed and both bristling like two very pissy old cats. Ms. Pauling knocked on the satin stain wood door frame, poking her head in. Her hair was in a messy bun and her glasses were slightly crooked. Such a delightful lass, too bad she had become pinned into this… existence. The Administrator waved her in, the cigarette in her hand her movements and the smoke flickering from it’s tip coiled lazily around her fingers. With a disgusted face, Ludwig turned to the side a bit, holding his elbow up to his arm and coughed. The Administrator paid him absolutely no mind to his discomfort of her smoking. Rather, she so graciously blew the puff of smoke right into his face, making him sputter and wheeze.

The Administrator turned her steely gaze upon Ms. Pauling, eyes thin slits. “THIS HAD BETTER BE IMPORTANT. Either Jerry has died from that god awful plant spore the doctor planted or he’s about to. That would lighten my mood so much.” The Administrator barked angrily, rubbing her temple.

“Jerry?” Ludwig asked, eyebrows raised slightly. His face had the faintest smirk. The Administrator came so close to trying to shove the lit cigarette into his eye. He would’ve loved to see her try.

Ms. Pauling rolled her eyes and sighed. “No Admin, he’s fine. He seems immune to the spore and he ate 12 of those German treats Medic left out. How he’s still breathing and functioning is shocking. No, uhm, we have found a way to get Dr. Ludwig home safely. It may take some time but we’ll be able to get you home shortly Mister Ludwig.” She said, her green eyes resting on him briefly. Ludwig smiled kindly, bowing slightly in return.

“Dankeschön, Frauen Pauling!” Ludwig chimes in happily, beaming. “Oh uhm… vhill it be via car, airplane, boat?!” He asked, half leaping out of his seat. Ms. Pauling laughed softly at his eagerness. That laugh meant only one thing. She KNEW whatever it was was definitely not a method he wanted to travel. His smile withered. The Administrator GRINNED.

The look on Ms. Pauling’s face made him back off a little. “UNFORTUNATELY, half of our people are infected with THAT little trick you pulled, Medic. So, unfortunately we don’t have the man power to do any of those things. HOWEVER… we have a much faster way to get you to the folks who are waiting for you back at home.” She added bluntly, giving him the scariest annoyed mom look possible. Wow, his own muter would be PROUD. He did his best to stand tall against her judgmental gaze.

“This little scheme of your was bad enough! Do you have ANY IDEA how much paperwork I’m going to have to do?!” She said, glare getting scarier and scarier by the moment. Ludwig wasn’t scared of men. MS. PAULING, however, terrified him. He laughed uneasily, with a nonchalant shrug. There was a soft beat of silence, before a slow methodical GRIN crept across his face. The gleam in his eyes SCREAMED danger and chaos. That small gesture made Ms. Pauling’s glasses slip down her dainty nose a bit. Apprently to Ludwig it was hilarious. Oh he couldn’t resist it- it was too perfect.

“Me~? Do somezhingh BAD~?” He asked sheepishly, with a faint hint of taunting in his tone. Before Ms. Pauling could speak, the Administrator beat her to the answer. With a loud creak, she leaned forward and poked his chest several times with a very long claw like nail. Each time she poked him for empathizes his eyebrows grew closer and closer together. Both of them looked about ready to throw hands and were snarling at one another at the end of that statement.

“Do not PLAY coy with me, my assistant, in MY OFFICE, Ludwig. I can cancel this contract any time. Be a good lad and SIT STILL AND SHUT UP. The sooner you’re all gone the sooner I can get on with the MESS you dreadful lot have left me with!” She snapped, through gritted teeth. With a cruel chuckle, she corrected. “RATHER MS. PAULING CAN take care of…” There was a wince from Ludwig. Behind him was the sound of Ms. Pauling snapping her clipboard in half. Pretty sure she imagined that to be his neck…

By the time Ludwig had stood, Ms. Pauling was already trying to usher him out of the office. With a curt, polite, I still think you’re a Hündin, but I’ll grin and bear it kind of smile as he leaned forward slightly. Ludwig narrowed his eyes, now face ti face with the Administrator. “Das einzige Chaos, das ich hier sehe, sind Sie, Madam.” With his final remark, he was QUICKLY dragged by his arm by Ms. Pauling, the door nearly shutting on his nose. With a smug smile he began walking besides her. But she paused, and reached up grabbing his ear. A sharp cry of pain and surprise escaped his lips, and she forced him to bend over to her height. His poor aching ear was at her mercy.

“Medic. I know you and her have bad history, BUT DO NOT treat my boss like that. You giving her HELL, gives ME hell. After everything I have done, the HOOPS I had to jump through to keep you from being KILLED, you decide to pull a stunt like THAT!” She snapped, giving his ear a solid yank for added affect. More sharp cries followed, and he grimaced.

“AUCK OW! I am sorrhy! I cannot help but pick a bone vith her! It’s natural! OWWWWW!” Ludwig winced, biting his lower lip. “SCHIESSE I GET ZHE POINT!” He snapped, and she finally let go. He glowered down at her, eyes narrowed. Slowly, and closely watching her, he raised his gloved hand to rub at his aching ear. Ms. Pauling returned the glare with more venom than he could ever imagine seeping from it. Quickly, he backed down, defeated. “I am sorrhy, Ms. Pauling…. She just knows vhat buttons to push and how far to push zhem…”

“That is her job, Ludwig… also, congrats on the two kids…” she said, smiling a bit. Ludwig beamed, a very tired weary smile. Clearly, she wanted to leave him on a little better note before he took his leave. A faint exhausted smile met her genuine one.

“Danke, Ms. Pauling… now… how exactly am I getting home, hm~?”

Ms. Pauling sighed and waved her hand dismissively. “Oh don’t you worry doc. We have a special way to get you home today-“

“… I don’t intend to be leavingh in a body bag Ms. Pauling…” Medic added darkly, not concealing his tartness.

Ms. Pauling rolled her eyes and kept walking, despite Medic stopping.

“Mister Ludwig, you have done enough damage as it is for one day. Can you just TRUST ME one more time to get you out of here before I AM FORCED to send you in a body bag?!” Ms. Pauling remarked angrily, her hair coming a bit undone. Her tone was so frazzled, beyond exhausted. Slowly, Medic continued after her, eyes fixated on her.

“Fine. Lead zhe way…” Was all she got, as the pair continued to head down a series of long hallways in a tense uncomfortable silence. From the cameras lining the halls, the Administrator watched, smirking. Per her orders, Ludwig needed to be put in his place, and they did need to test how accurate their new teleportation devices are… Thankfully, she knew the precise locations and whereabouts of all the mercs even after they disbanded.

Since they two were in kahoots already, she figured sending Mr. Ludwig on a little… DETOUR to cool his jets would do him some good. She lit a cigarette as she watched the teleportation device spark to life. Mr. Ludwig trusted Ms. Pauling without question. Once he vanished in a flash of light and particles, she picked up her desk phone. It rang a couple times before the sound of someone picking up the phone with a soft uncomfortable sigh could be heard on the other end.

“Did you send him to the location I instructed, Ms. Pauling…?” She asked, taking a long satisfactory drag of her cigarette. With a weary sigh, Ms. Pauling nodded looking up at the camera.

“Yes ma’am, he’s currently on his way per your request. He’s going to be furious when he finds out where we sent him…”

“Hah, doesn’t matter. They’ll get him home quickly, they won’t want him there. Besides, I did him a favor! He needed to… cool down a bit.” With that, Ms. Pauling turned to a video camera watching a very fancy looking home in France, toward the more rural and outdoorsy sections far enough away from society but close enough for access to necessities. Miss Pauling’s brow furrowed as she watched eagerly, hoping Medic ended up there in one piece.

**Probably about 15 minutes after Medic and Ms. Pauling’s argument**

“Spook, ah said ah was sorry-“ The tall lanky Aussie man was backed into a corner of their home, with an invisible knife wielding angry French man on the loose. Normally he was dangerous on a good day. Now he was even MORE DANGEROUS when you were the accidental reason why he very angry. And he managed to wedge himself into a corner. Bloody hell. His shaggy brown unbrushed locks of hair stood on the back of his neck, swearing he felt something graze his shoulder. It felt like cold metal.

“YOU! RUINED! IT!” A French voice roared from the abyss, sounding like it was in the kitchen before a series of footsteps faded into the background. Piss. This was bad. “Give me one VERYYY GOOD REASON why I shouldn’t skin you ALIVE and wear it like a coat!”

“First off, that’s gross. Two. Ah’m yer husband and ya love meh. Who else is gonna git yer fancy chocolates ‘n fabulous wine on yer birthday? Or our date nights?” Sniper asked, faint smirk creeping across his face. Unfortunately, he was sweating bullets as it was, and getting no answer didn’t help settle his nerves. Best he could, he tried not to show his fear or swallow the lump in his throat. Spy thrived off fear tactics nowadays, and damn he loved to use his scaring him the most. It did make things more fun… most of the time.

“… Try again. Zhat was a 15,000 THREAD-COUNT SUIT, Sniper. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA how much zhat cost?”

“Enough to cover our mortgage fer a year- OH HELL!” Sniper barked back, trying to keep the tone playful. Unfortunately, his comment sent a butterfly knife soaring through the air and nailing his sideburn on the left side of his face. Hair rained down from the cut, and it was just shy of his cheekbone. He felt the wind of the blade graze his cheek. Sniper ducked down and made a dash for the sofa, but was promptly tripped by something unseen. Probably a skinny French leg.

With a loud (rather undignified) yelp, he landed hard on the floor, straight on his chin and chest. He groaned, and felt something light rest on his back. His wrists felt like someone’s shoes were resting on them, ready to apply pressure at any given second. At the moment, he had to guess Spy was sitting on him like a fancy faux fur rug like he was posing for one of their fancy date night photos… Or he was about to wrangle him like Sniper had wrangled crocs back home. Either way, he was totally FUCKED.

“Tsk tsk tsk Bushman… Getting a little slow in zhe reflexes, non…?” A sultry French voice creeping on the side of cruel and velvety silk heaven danced around his ears, making him shiver instinctively. Oh. Spy only spoke like that for two occasions. When he wanted some lovin’, or he was about fillet his skinny ass.

A very loud gasp escaped Sniper’s lips, as something gently stroked his face. A thin gloved finger had began tracing his jawline, very slowly and carefully. It trailed up to his cheekbone, making him shiver and moan in protest. Oh no. Ooooh no that was just cruel! He wouldn’t! Sniper whimpered, feeling his breathing hitch slightly. Spy could be so merciless at times.

“You. Are in so much trouble. If zhat was our wedding suit you’d be dead already. Thankfully, I love you too much, but you’re going to make it up to me… all night long Bushman. And non, you’hre zhe little spoon tonight. Your privileges will come back after I think you’ve served your…. Punishment~…” Spy’s voice crept lower and deeper with each word, while Sniper was already a pile of mush. All Sniper could really do was weakly nod, and give a very high pitch “mhm…” since his mind was on his delightful night of torture. Words were too hard to do at the moment. All he wanted was the… horrible pain and suffering he was going to get from Spy… He could barely wait.

Spy smiled and carefully helped Sniper roll onto his back, before deactivating his cloak. Still in his fancy pajamas, only 10,000 thread count, he smiled and began tormenting the poor Sniper more. Lots of kisses, gloved hands running all through his hair, down his shoulders, running over his neck and scars. Even down his chest and stomach. All Sniper could do was whine pathetically as his husband continued to torment him. Fuck. He hated not being the top dog… But since he was in the dog house, he was at his husband’s mercy.

Their moment of impending make out sessions was promptly ruined but a loud scream, a splash and lots of angry German swearing coming from their pool. Neither of them moved. Spy was literally straddling the Sniper’s chest, both incredibly red in the face. Sniper seemed perfectly content to ignore the situation and continue their… argument/torture session. Spy rolled his piercing blue grey eyes and slowly got off his lover’s chest. Sniper very audibly complained.

Without warning, Spy was gone in a shift of color and light, before slowly making his way outside. Gun in the right hand, knife in the left, he kept outside of their luxurious home to their pool. Once he got there he wanted to SCREAM. HOW IN THE HELL- It hadn’t taken Sniper long to regain his ability to stand and walk, before following Spy outside. In typical fashion, his husband just gawked. With a growl, Spy gently used his index finger to shut Sniper’s slack jaw with a soft “clomp”.

“Medic?! How the bloody fuckin’ hell ya end up in our pool?! Why ain’t ya with Heavy?!” Sniper yelled, his Stetson crooked. Medic had attempted to drag himself out of their large pool, sopping wet and seething. Unfortunately his soaked clothes added a lot more weight, and it certainly didn’t help him scramble his way out like a drowning rat.

“Vhell… I vas to be TRANSPORTED TO MEIN HOME IN RUSSIA VITH HEAVY, but Ms. PAULING UND zhe Administrator decided I needed a lesson… und zhis must’ve been a cruel joke since Frau Pauling didn’t specifically say HOW she’d get meh home… or VHEN!! AUGH!” Medic roared, as he clawed his way out of the freezing cold water, shivering.

In typical fashion, Spy remained close enough to Medic to effectively stab him if need be, but far enough away that his clothes wouldn’t be tainted by the pool water. Or to offer the poor man a hand. Judging from how deeply seeded that scowl on his face was, the feeling of the Medic’s situation was…. Bitterly mutual.

With a snort and some coughs, Medic stood up on the side of the pool, his clothes clinging to his body like a second skin. Age may have slowed him down a bit, but he was still VERY fit. Sniper looked away very quickly before offering to grab a towel, trying to avoid being stabbed in the back himself by a very jealous husband. The Spy just watched him, the smallest amount of amusement creasing the edges of his eyes and lips.

“Well… clearly things went well…. For the most part. Congratulations, you didn’t COMPLETELY fail!” Spy said, that shit eating grin nearly giving away how much he was TRULY enjoying this. The Medic GLARED, eyes narrowing faintly. That French bastard was very lucky he was far too cold to strangle him, and the fact that would lessen his odds of getting home any faster to meet his son….

A wicked smile crept across the Medic’s face, which made Sniper stiffen besides Spy once h returned with a couple towels. He really didn’t feel like splitting up a fight today, he just did that LAST WEEK. Bastard had it coming… Sniper was snapped out of his thoughts when Medic spoke up finally.

“I do not have time for zhis. I must get back, MACH SCHNELL. I have big plans and zhis vas not zhem.” Medic stated dryly, waving his hand dismissively. Quickly he glanced around, as if looking for something on their back patio. Spy’s eye twitched.

“Oh please make yourself at home after you LITERALLY trespassed on our space!” Spy snarled, and Medic smiled politely at him before waltzing right past him.

“Oh, how kind! Danke I shall! Such a lovely place!” Medic said with a scary amount of chipperness, making Sniper step back and watch as he literally strode past them both, taking Spy’s snarky comment as a literal invitation. Medic made it to their glass back door before Spy vanished and reappeared in front of him, butterfly knife in his hand. They locked eyes, distain for one another written across their features.

“Zhat, was a sarcasm, not an INVITATION. What zhe hell do you want so we can gladly get rid of you faster?!” Spy barked, looking thoroughly pissed. Medic sighed and rolled his eyes, glancing around once more.

“Oh zhat lovely little gadget Engie left us all vith, the secret teleports hidden in the luggage cases. So I can get home. NOW.” Medic said, that eerie smile back right on his face, eyes not matching the attempt at fake happiness. His eyes read MURDER AND BLOODSHED, which Spy matched with equal fury. With two steps, Sniper stepped in between, gently pushing them apart.

“Alright! Alright, Spook, cool yer jets love. Medic, please just wait outside here. Ah’ll grab another towel, and coffee. Just, let him use it so we can get back to our business…” Sniper pleaded, sounding exasperated. Spy glared daggers Medic, who stood tall, shoulder back and hands resting at ease behind his back. That smug gleam in his eyes remained, and Spy about lunged for his throat to rip it out. Thankfully the Sniper’s hand on his shoulder was keeping him level enough to not commit murder today. Shame the weather was perfect for it.

“Love, STAY. Back in the house NOW. Gimme that watch. None of yer shit.” Sniper growled, holding out his hand in front of him. There was a beat of silence. Then another. “Ya gonna behave or the minute I leave yer gonna go rip Medic apart?” The scoff from Medic in the courtyard and watching them with faked disinterest seemed to say “Let him try. I will gladly tear him limb from limb and stick him back together with duct tape and some miscellaneous animal parts.” That was exactly what scared Sniper most. The fact Medic WOULD actually follow through with his threats.

“I will remain here if HE remains there.” Spy said, refusing to take his eyes off the man in question. Medic simply smiled cheekily and waved like nothing was wrong. Sniper quickly snatched his lover’s wrist, before yanking the watch off. The protests from Spy damn near broke Sniper’s heart, but he held firm. “STAY. PUT. Ah’ll be right back. And we’ll get him outta here and not hafta deal with this, ok?!” Sniper said, leaning down gently, their noses grazing gently. Slowly, Sniper planted a soft kiss on his lover’s lips, making the Spy’s knees wobble faintly.

Spy gave a faint whimper, before stroking Sniper’s hair, hand grazing the cheek scar he accidentally gave to his lover the first week they met. All Spy wanted right now was to bury himself in Sniper’s chest, under their sheets and smother him in all the affection he could physically give. Surely after that would end how it usually between them, both struggling for dominance before one finally caves to their fate of being the bottom during their…. Ahem…. Romantic times together.

Sniper begrudgingly pulled away from Spy, before making his way through their very nice roomy flat. Judging from all the very fancy items, this was definitely Spy’s choice. Just a hunch but everything must be very expensive for Spy to be very territorial and defensive of his property. Not to mention, if either one of them were at HIS HOME, near his children… He shuddered, hoping it would never come to that. The thoughts of seeing his son and daughter, along with his husband made his shoulders droop. By now… their son had to be home… he had to be….

Everyone’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud “THUNK!” Spy and Medic turned, watching Sniper carry and effectively drop the suitcase in the middle of the open flat, with wide open windows and in plain view. Spy face palmed. “BUSHMAN, we cannot do zhis out in the open! It is a secret very highly classified bit of TECHNOLOGY!” Spy snapped, doing his best to run away a mounting headache. Sniper smiles simply.

“Just shut the blinds, it’ll be fine! We’re the only ones who arhe out here love. We’re extremely isolated from others and it’s well hidden!” Sniper chimed, before sighing and bending over to grab the suitcase and carry it to the basement. When the look he got from Spy was just a hair off from the “you’re sleeping on the couch look”, he waved a hand dismissively. “FINE FINE FINE, ah’m goin’! Means he’s comin’ in the house! MUCH FURTHER THAN HE NEEDED TO!” Sniper barked as he marched his way down their basement, lugging the suitcase after him.

Medic blinked, eyebrow raised. After a moment he cleared his throat, biiiiig snake like smile slithered across his face. “So… youh und Herr Sniper…? I had a feelingh zhe way you two acted you would… tie zhe knot, as it vere…” Medic said, with a actual tone of sincerity. Spy glanced at him, appearing a lot less on the defensive than he was previously. There was a slow sigh, before he nodded.

His messy gorgeous slicked bath peppered hair gleamed from all the fancy oils and fragrances he added each morning. Now he mostly does it because Sniper will lean down and rest his head right atop of Spy’s hair, his arms lazily resting in his waist. Sniper would grumble that his hair smells so delightful. Since then Spy continued to do it as a ritual. No matter what he never missed a day.

“Oiu, thank you… He and I are… ahehehe… a very odd couple. I do admit, I am extremely happy with him. Despite how much of a barbarian he can act like… but I feel… safe with him. It’s hard for us both and we are… still learning how to coexist, but… I cannot see myself without him…” Spy said with a faint smile. He stared fondly down at the very fancy ring that fit his finger perfectly on his left hand.

Medic looked away, sighing. “Congratulations, und I Ahm sorry for ‘popping in unannounced’”, Medic added, trying and failing horribly at a decent French accent, which earned a withering glare from Spy. Unfazed, Medic continued. “But I assure youh zhis vas not on mein agenda either. I preferred to already be home with Heavy after zhis… unfortunate encounter with our old boss. I take it Sniper doesn’t know-“

“Non. I refuse to drag him into zhis mess. He was away on a hunting trip, which made a easy chance for me to get zhat …. Little side liaison for you done quickly. Your secret… is safe. I hate not telling him, he’ll be furious… but being a Spy my life is nothing but masks and smoke… he’s used to such …. Shortcomings on my behalf. I don’t want him to get hurt because of zhis…”

“Exactly vhy Heavy doesn’t know. Und unfortunately youh trust meh enough to know youh KNOWING puts youh und him in huge danger. Hence vhy I am so grateful youh trust meh enough to not ask…”

The two stared into one another’s eyes, met with mutual understanding. They both jumped as Sniper cleared his throat and was leaning against the wall, aviators now blocking his eyes. It made reading him virtually impossible. Judging from the way his Stetson was slanted and the way his arms folded over his chest, he was definitely not pleased of finding out a dirty little secret this way. There was a deep disapproving scowl on his face.

“And wot is it Heavy ‘n ah don’t know ‘bout, huh? Ya two secretly meeting up fer who knows wot? Ah ah’m afriad ta ask wot these “MEETIN’S” could be ‘fer…” Sniper growled, eyes narrowing at them. Medic paled, and Spy seemed to shrink, visibly hurt.

Spy took a deep breath through his nose, and looked Sniper dead in the eyes.

“Love, I am not telling you to keep you SAFE. Zhis is something zhat I can survive if things go wrong. We owe the Medic our lives many times over while in zhe war. I know it is hard to trust me due to my past but… SNIPER I AM BEGGING YOU, to just trust me. Just do zhis for him as a favor. He’s our comrade. He’s saved out asses MANY TIMES. Just as we saved his. I would never cheat on youh, nor would he on Heavy. Just like I trust you’d never do zhat to me! Just…. Please amor. Trust me…”

With a huff, Medic took off his glasses and sighed.

“Herr Sniper. I now have a sohn und tochter…. Und I direly need to keep zhem safe. Unfortunately it meant dragging yourh husband into zhis mess, vhich he vas kind enough to accept. But I need yourh silence, und understanding… Zheir…. So incredibly important to me, und Heavy. I cannot, explain a lot und I have said too much as it is, but… Bitte, Herr Sniper… not for meh, for mein kinder…” Medic pleaded, his voice hitting tones of breaking.

Spy sighed, knowing how difficult that sort of situation was, with a faint twinge of envy mixed in his expression. Spy cast a quick glance at Sniper, whose face remained stony and cold. The toothpick that was in his teeth shifted, slowly from one side to the other. Visibly, Medic was sweating. For once, the man looked genuinely afraid. Fear was not a reaction Medic wore often. And judging from his stiffly he stood, he despised every second of it. There was a very long tense pause, as all eyes were fixated on the tall Australian. After a moment, Sniper nodded and tipped his hat to them.

“…. Doc, wot ever it takes, if somethin’ happens, we’ll be there. To keep ‘em safe. Like old times. Despite no longer bein’ on a team, we stick together. All of us, right spook?” Sniper said, wrapping a long arm around his husband’s shoulder and neck after walking across the room to him. Spy flushed horribly, before smiling a bit and leaning into Sniper’s side.

“Oiu, we stick together. Each of us has, kept tabs on one another, secretly. It’s a bit of a, safety net if you will…” Spy added, with a glance at Sniper. “Congratulations, doctor, on your family…” Spy said in good nature with a faint smile curling his lips. Sniper beamed.

“So they adopted? OW!” Sniper yelped, as he swiftly got a bony elbow to the ribs. “WOT?!” Sniper barked, grumbling and rubbing his aching ribs.

“Don’t ask such a rude question! Whether zhey are adopted or not, those are their children none the less!” Spy snapped hotly, sharing a knowing glance at Medic, who relaxed notably. It wasn’t hard to hear Sniper grumbling that he was just curious and huffing. Sniper folded his arms and turned slightly away from Spy. With an eye roll, Spy motioned for Medic to follow after him.

“Zhis way, we have it in zhe basement- QUIT LAUGHING! IT ISN’T ZHAT KIND OF BASEMENT YOU ANIMAL!” Spy growled, cheeks flushing. Medic chuckled, barely keeping himself balanced from how much his ribs hurt.

“It COULDA been!” Sniper piped up, tailing after them moments later. At that point Medic nearly fell to the floor laughing, while Spy was just about strangled his husband. Sniper snickered loudly, while doing his best to dodge his husband’s fury. It took a lot of hugs and kisses for Spy to finally even look at Sniper, but eventually gave into all the affection. He did get swatted at a few times and a lot of French threats, but those died down with enough cuddles.

Spy whispered softly in Sniper’s ear, most notably which made the Sniper go from shades of pink, to red, and then BRIGHT RED. With a delightfully smug grin, Spy patted his husband’s shoulder, before walking to the center of the basement where the suitcase sat inconspicuously on the floor. To anyone, it looked like a normal red briefcase. To the Red Team, it was something incredibly valuable.

Spy and Medic looked at one another, before Spy walked over and gave it a tap with his foot. The device chirped, beeped then opened on its own, before opening like a mechanical boxy flower. A small pedestal now in the center with a faint red glow. The machine’s outer casing whirred softly, spinning at a decent speed around the glowing center. Both stared for a moment.

“Ahem… how do we tell it, vhere to send meh hm?” Medic asked, looking over to Spy. Immediately, Spy looked over to Sniper. Sniper rolled his eyes.

“Do none of ya bloody READ?!” Sniper asked, agitated. With a gruff snort, Sniper strode to the device, kneeling by it before muttering in Australian to himself. It don’t take long for Sniper to growl at the machine like an animal and grow frustrated. Spy stood over him, before leaning forward, flipping a couple switches and kissing his cheek. The device purred softly, the telltale sing song jingle of the teleporter was online and operational. The tall Aussie shook his head and groaned, before getting up with the aide of his husband. The telltale sign of age was made apparent when all the snaps, crackles and pops followed of Sniper standing up.

“Awe hell, meh back’s all fucked ag-AUGH!” Sniper yelped, as Medic appeared behind him as he was speaking, and swiftly PUSHED the small of Sniper’s back. After a series of swears Sniper had nearly decked Medic. Medic blinked, arms tucked behind his back and smiled knowingly. Sniper stood fully, rubbing his back gently. “How- how the bloody hell did ya- meh back feels great!” Sniper said, grinning. Medic gave a small nonchalant smile and a nod.

“Old trick Heavy und I use at home. Sometimes zhe spine goes out of alignment, und it just needs a solid, PUSH!” The look of disgust and mistrust on Spy’s face didn’t waver.

“To be fair, I will go see a LEGITIMATE, LICENSED, chiropractor, thank you, docktor.” Spy added, before glancing at the small keypad on the side of the teleporter. “Anyhow, back to zhe matter at hand. Do you know zhe coordinates of your home? It can literally send you to zhat spot… without another teleporter there. It just, takes longer to be all.. put back together…” Spy warned, seeming to choose his words carefully.

Medic’s eyebrows knitted together slowly. “I guess… I do not have much of a choice… but ja I do. Scoot over bitte.” Medic said, gently kneeling in front of the device. After some curious pokes, he began entering the specific coordinates. To appear just outside of his driveway at home in Russia about about 10 feet in the driveway. Home… how badly he missed it, them… him. Vater is coming home, lieblings… soon to be his lieblings….

Sniper seemed to fill in the worry portion for all three of them. “W-wait whadda mean it takes LONGER? Didn’t Engie work out all the bugs?!” Sniper asked, slight panic gripping his tone and body language. Spy cast a glance at him, and shrugged. Clearly, he wasn’t really listening when Engie praddled on and on for about 4 hours on that teleporter. Unfortunately, Sniper fell asleep 24 minutes in and dozed off on Spy’s shoulder. Spy didn’t bother to move or wake him, thankfully no one noticed. Spy sure did…

“Ack it’s vhine. Like mein brain can get any MORHE SCRAMBLED.” Medic joked morbidly, while Spy winced. Flashbacks to Medic’s file flashed through his mind. Truly, Spy hated it when Medic spoke like that. The dark humor along with the horrid past did not make swallowing that kinda dark tone easier. Sniper scoffed.

“YER JUST GONNA DO FER IT AND HOPE FER THE BEST?!“ He bantered, and simultaneously, Medic and Spy answered, “Yes!” The scowl that crept across Sniper’s face deepened and he waved a hand, obviously frustrated. Not even a moment later he stormed off to the stairs at the end of the basement. “Ya know wot, ya WANKAS are outta yer minds. Ya okay wotever games ya will, ahm gettin’ meself a spiked coffee. AND DON’T ya dare say it Spook-“

“Bushman it isn’t 5 o clock yet. Don’t be a barbarian about it. Get wine instead.” Spy said with a harsh judgmental tone, but smiles up at the Sniper. Clearly, that was a inside joke. Sniper barked a laugh, before heading upstairs to grab himself something to drink. There was a faint tension that hung in the air. Medic broke it after another pause.

“Danke, Herr Spy, for everything…” Medic said, offering his hand out. There was a beat of stillness, before Spy smiled and took his hand and shook it.

“Safe travels, docktor… and WE hope your family is healthy and happy. And hopefully, our paths will not cross again, unless it is of better terms…” Spy said, bowing his head curtly. “Au revoir.” With that, Spy took several steps back from the device, watching Medic intently.

Carefully, slightly hesitant, Medic stepped on the circular portion of the device. It flowed and hummed, and the air buzzed with a charged odd energy. It wasn’t SOLELY electricity. Whatever it was, it was VERY POWERFUL. And potent. With a deep breath, Medic tapped his right foot onto the glowing surface once, twice. The device ROARED to life, the red glow now raising from the circular platform beneath his feet, followed by a bright flash and a cut of cry of discomfort.

For a moment, Spy was blinded. After gently rubbing his eyes for a few moments. Once he regained his bearings, Spy glances at the teleporter. The circular platform was empty. No sign of Medic at all. The machine whined and groaned, the spinning arms and attachments slowing to a crawl before ceasing. Spy sighed. It worked. Hopefully…

For whatever reason, Spy could not tear his gaze from the device where Medic stood moments ago. He had a very deep nagging feeling, things were going to go, HORRIBLY wrong. And no matter how many times he tried, he couldn’t shake it off. After standing there for 15 minutes, Sniper eventually wandered down, carrying two piping hot coffee mugs. One was tailored with his emblem, the other was Spy’s emblem.

“Got ya some coffee, we can go up to the patio ‘n enjoy a nice cuppa… Joe…. Spy? Wots wrong? Ya feelin’ alright?” Sniper questioned, his tone creeping onto the edge of concern and worry. Slowly, Spy closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Non. Nothing is wrong. Coffee sounds delightful… Along with some… cuddles later, non?” Spy asked, his voice going deep and sultry. The mugs in Sniper’s hands shook a little and he gulped, his cheeks flushing. The Sniper grinned, showing his sharp canines.

“Heh, how can ah say no to ya, Spook…?” Was all he said, before planting a kiss onto Spy’s forehead, as the both wandered up to their patio to sit by the pool and watch the birds fly overhead during the rest of the cool autumn morning.

***Back in Russia***

The temperature plunged. It was FREEZING. He remembered feeling his MOLECULES, ATOMS BEING PULLED APART, and sewn back together. It was a freezing, burning and charged sensation, and it was EXHILARATING! He absolutely had to take notes on that once he… wait…. Snow fell softly around him, a single flake landed on the tip of his nose. He sneezed. Quickly, he glanced around.

Large tall green and white trees greeted him, and he sat up. Ignoring the current spinning of his head, he whirled around. The town, a cozy simple little community that didn’t have a huge amount of technology, a bit old fashioned and outdated, but… it was home. Home.. he was HOME! Ludwig glanced down, before patting himself down. Everything felt solid, stable and in the right place.

Tears stung his eyes as he choked back cheerful sobs. Finally, after so long, he was home. Emotion threatened to drown him, but he didn’t fight it. Glee, joy, relief, and calm seemed to crash over him, all fighting for dominance. But, he truly didn’t care. Back, back on his home ground, where they were. The only reason he didn’t rush inside was to make sure everything caught up with him, plus his head was reeling from the the sheer weight that had been lifted from his shoulders. Also that device probably scrambled his brains more than he scrambled his eggs in the morning.

Despite all the setbacks, the plan worked. It ACTUALLY worked. With a elated cry, Ludwig threw his hands into the air, throwing up snow and watching it fall around him. Nothing was stopping him now. His family, Misha, Yahnnia, and their son were safe. They didn’t have to worry, not for a while. For now, they could enjoy their life, for years to come. Warm tears flowed freely down his cheeks, as he laid in the snow, feeling the cold seep into his limbs. How wunderbar it all felt. All his problems seemed to float away, drifting off far out of his mind’s reach.

The front door creaked open softly. Deep blue eyes shot open, as Ludwig sat up. His hair a mess with snow, dirt, sticks and a leaf or two. There was a pause, and Ludwig turned in time to be tackled by a tiny human being wearing a pink and green dinosaur onsie, giggling. The force flopped him back into the snow, before he laughed and scooped Yahnnia up in his arms, tears flowing all over again.

“Papa!!! Papa’s home!” She cried, clinging to his chest gently. Best he could, Ludwig pressed her close, his chin resting on her head. It was a struggle to force back sobs of relief and sheer joy. “Mein Liebling, meine süße süße Liebe, mein Leben und meine Seele.. oh how papa missed youh so!” Ludwig immediately began to pepper her in kisses, cuddles and some tickles. Never, did he ever want to leave his family side again, not for a moment.

A booming voice echoed from the home, making them both jump. “Yahnnia?! Where did you go?! Better not gone outside again without permission! Is not safe to go alone-“ Misha chided, before peeking out the front door which was wide open. It didn’t take long for Misha to lock eyes with Ludwig.

Without hesitation, Misha rushed outside, in his slippers and pajamas. Immediately he scooped them both up out of the snow, spinning around, all of them laughing and crying. For the moment, everything was perfect. Misha wasted no time smothering Ludwig in badly needed kisses, nuzzles and cuddles. Ludwig seemed to melt, his body longing to be close to his husband’s again. The thundering of Misha’s massive replaced heart nearly lulled him right to sleep. Listening to it made the rest of the world fade away…

Once they shared small I love yous and little nothings in German and Russian, Misha carried Ludwig bridal style with Yahnnia on Ludwig’s chest. Both of them had tears running down their faces once more, mixed with soft laughs, stifled sobs. Ludwig didn’t waste much time before stroking his husband’s tears away, smothering him with kisses and nuzzles he had given Yahnnia. Neither could fight back the relief of seeing one another safe.

“Docktor… how did you get home?! There was no car no plane… are you hurt?! Tell me everything…” Misha asked, before nuzzling Ludwig’s cheek and neck softly. Greedily, Ludwig leaned into it, embracing his husband gently, soaking up all the warmth and love. Gosh how badly he missed this, all of it… Their gazes met once more, both their cheeks turning pink from the cold.

A soft chuckle escaped Ludwig’s lips, before he quickly scooped Misha’s face into his hands. Oh, how he adored the fact his hands were just the perfect size to hold his husband’s cheeks, his beautiful strong chin… The reaction made Misha blush horribly, before Ludwig greedily stole a deep hungry kiss from his husband. Neither one of them seemed to want to break that kiss. A sharp giggle and some wiggling between them seemed to ruin the moment. They pulled apart, staring down at Yahnnia who was looking up at them curiously.

“Eeewwww!!!” She squealed, before falling into one of her giggle fits. Misha and Ludwig blushed, before Ludwig smirked and pulled her close to his chest once more. “Oh vhat? I can’t kiss your papa, hmmm? Iz zhat it? Oh can I not kiss youh now too??? Vhat if… I did zhis?!” Ludwig said before sending a barrage of kisses all over Yahnnia’s forehead and cheeks. She squealed, laughing and flailing feebly at his attack, which made Misha chuckle.

“Docktor will have to heal all zhose kisses with more kisses after dinner!” Misha boomed, softly nuzzling Ludwig’s cheek. Yahnnia’s belly grumbled, which was followed by Ludwig’s chiming in about the lack of food. A hardy shiver followed his stomach’s protests, since Ludwig had completely forgotten he was soaked to the bone. And how he was just laying out in the snow and dirt. Misha frowned, and jumped when Ludwig sneezed loudly.

“Ugh, it’s… a long story, can we get a hot meal und a bath going before we sit to talk about it, bitte…?” Ludwig pleaded, nestling himself into Misha’s arms and chest. That protective instinct immediately took hold, and Misha rushed inside, gently setting Yahnnia and Ludwig on the couch. Misha asked Yahnnia to make sure papa didn’t try anything. She nodded, arms folded and looked at her papa, with a very scary pout. Ludwig raised his hands, taking a defensive posture. He wasn’t crazy enough to test the patience of his daughter.

After a few moments, Misha returned with several blankets, a change of clothes and a towel. Not giving Ludwig the option, he scooped up his husband once more, and carried to the bathroom, where a very warm bath was already waiting for him. A furious blush was forming on Ludwig’s defined cheekbones.

“Danke, Misha, but I could do zhis myself…” Ludwig started, but was cut off by a firm kiss to the cheek.

“Nyet. Doktor needs to get clean and warm. I bring you dinner. Then, we talk. Have any things to discuss. Very important things…” Misha said, barely seeming able to hold back something important. Before Ludwig could pry, Misha gently helped him stand, before hugging him. They remained close for a long time, before Misha broke the contact. Gently, he gave Ludwig a little nudge. That only made Ludwig’s blush worsen, and he looked away with a faint frustrated huff.

“Do not rush, relax, for Misha… Everything will still be there once you are done. I get dinner for you. Promise wait will be very well worth it…” Misha said, a big proud smile making its way across his face. Ludwig blinked in confusion but he was far too exhausted to figure out what it was. By now he barely had any sensation in his limbs, and his stomach basically was attempting to digest itself in hunger.

With a defeated sigh, he nodded, before undressing and slipping himself into the bath, where Misha came back shortly with a piping hot bowl of chicken noodle soup, bread and a nice glass of wine. Oh, he was the luckiest man in the world, with the most wunderbar husband…

After relaxing and enjoying his meal for a couple of hours, Ludwig slowly emerged from the tub, and draping himself in a robe after drying off. Oh how wonderful a shower feels after a long…. How long had it been…? Truly, he didn’t know anymore. None the less he yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and headed into the closet.

Quickly he adorned some sleepwear, and nearly fell asleep standing up from how comfortable and relaxed he was. It had taken several minutes of nodding off before he remembered in a sleepy haze he and Misha had a long discussion they needed to go over. The thought made his stomach wrench up and a cold sweat prickle his skin.

With a soft sigh of defeat, he slowly made his way out to the living room to join Misha and Yahnnia. What he saw stopped him dead in his tracks. As expected, Misha and Yahnnia sat side by side, Yahnnia barely keeping still besides her large father. Misha smiled so softly at him, speaking very gently in Russian.

Cradled in Misha’s massive arms, was their son. Swaddled gently in a soft baby blue blanket, with his small pale hands gripping the blanket. Soft black wisps of jet black wavy hair was already growing in, clearly taking after his German father already. For a infant his age, which he guessed was just shy of a couple weeks tops, he was INCREDIBLY small. And on the pale side. But to Misha, Ludwig and Yahnnia, he was perfect.

Ludwig couldn’t breathe. He had the same reaction when he got to see their little Yahnnia come home for the first time… The sight made his legs turn to jelly, he could barely remain standing. Trembling, he made his way towards Misha, sitting on the other side of Yahnnia. By the time he sat down his hands were shaking and his eyes were misty. Tears freely ran down his face, with such a proud relieved smile. Misha leaned forward to give Ludwig a kiss on the forehead, before gently setting their son in his arms.

Tears began to stream down Ludwig’s face, weak sobs making his shoulders shake. Yahnnia have a puzzled look up at Misha, her beautiful brunette wavy hair blocking her eyes slightly. The gaze in her gentle blue grey eyes pleaded to know why papa was so sad. Misha smiled and patted her head. Slowly, he leaned down close to her ear before he spoke.

“Your father is very strong all the time. When he first saw you, he wept just as much. Tears are not of sadness, they are of pride and joy. Papa was so happy he wept for a long time when he first saw you. He is so happy, just line he is now. There are many kinds of tears, not just sad little bear cub…” Misha said patiently, gently kissing her forehead and pulling her into his lap so she could see her baby brother better.

At the moment Ludwig was overwhelmed with so much relief, and so much joy. There weren’t any words he could currently speak. Their family was complete, with their smallest bundle safely nestled in his arms, close to his chest. Their son babbled gently, his little hands reaching around him attempting to explore his new environment on Ludwig’s arms and shirt.

The baby boy wiggled around a bit, his face scrunching up a bit. Leaning in slightly, Misha curiously looked down. Everyone watched as their son opened his left eye for the very first time. Yahnnia gasped, wonder filling her eyes. After a pause, his other eye opened, blinking rapidly. At first his eyes struggled to focus on anything, and his small hands rubbed against them. This only made Ludwig more of a sobbing sappy mess. Being able to witness such an event made his heart soar.

Memories of when Yahnnia first opened her eyes, showing the same gorgeous blue grays as Misha had. Those eyes he got lost in so easily and didn’t bother to try finding the way out. Like Misha’s, her eyes screamed with her confidence, that bright intelligent gleam and a very healthy balance of mischief involved. It made Ludwig giddy to think what a devious trickster she might be later in life. Oh how much chaos they would get into. It made Ludwig so unbelievably proud!

The sight made Misha beam, and he nuzzled Ludwig’s cheek and neck tenderly.

“He had docktor’s beautiful icy blue eyes…. Much like snow in Russian mountains. He is perfect… just like Yahnnia…” Misha commented, such a broad smile on his face. Judging from the bags and dark rings under his eyes, Misha had been shouldering all the work of tending their home, a very young toddler and an infant.

The thought of Ludwig leaving his husband to fend for himself and care for he two alone made his heart shatter, and he wasn’t sure how he’d mend the pieces. Misha of course would never allow his love to admit that this was taxing and it was for a good cause. That didn’t change Ludwig’s feelings on the subject. Somehow, he would make this up to him. In his own way.

“Does he have a name yet…?” Ludwig asked, worried he wouldn’t get a say in the subject. The moment he thought it he inwardly shamed himself, thinking such a thought after all his husband had gone through! Especially not saying a word of complaint once he returned home safely. Misha would NEVER be so inconsiderate of such an important event, and Ludwig was harshly belittling himself to ever even think such a awful thought.

Thankfully, the comment made Misha look at Yahnnia expectantly, who was going to explode if she didn’t tell her idea soon. So much chaotic energy, in its purest form. Ludwig smiled and leaned down close to her.

“Oh??? Is it a secret?! Can I know?!“ Ludwig asked, finally calmed down enough to think clearly again. Watching Yahnnia’s eyes light up with excitement always made them both beam, and Ludwig chuckled softly. The vibration made their son protest slightly, and Ludwig gently rocked him to attempt to calm him. It seemed to pacify him, just a little bit. Clearly, their son was a lot more sensitive than Yahnnia. And grumpy.

“Papa! I have an idea for his name!! It’s really good even father thinks so!! It’s really really good! If it’s super good can we name him after the name?!” Yahnnia babbled, voice quiet just like Misha taught her to. Inside voice around her baby brother. She had been practicing so hard just for her father and papa, and especially her little brother. Seeing them all happy is all she truly wanted.

“Oh??? Und Vas is zhis wunderbar name, mein kleines Bärenjunges?” He asked, laughing faintly at how unbelievably adorable she was. So easily excited and nothing seemed to dampen her mood. Their daughter brought so much life and joy into their lives, and he hoped that fire, passion ams curiosity wouldn’t ever fade.

“Heheh! We should name him Luddy! Like after your name l, papa!” She said, eyes gleaming brightly. Her enthusiasm was so infectious it was impossible not to smile. A faint sniffle escaped Ludwig’s lips, for this time a very different emotion hit him. Tears welled up again, and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. The touch of Misha’s hand making contact with his shoulders and pulling him close made him smile shakily.

“Luddy…. Our little Luddy… welcome home mein sohn….”

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cbsxreader · 10 months

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scout and sniper (seperate) x reader where reader is like ms pauling’s bestie/and or reader works for The Administrator and one day reader takes a shift for Ms Pauling and that’s how they meet scout/sniper ? kinda like a slow burn thing snd readr is like painfully oblivious 😭 thanks! and if you can’t complete the request don’t feel pressured to <3

Sure!

(Be prepared, I got way too carried away cus I really liked this idea hehe)

Scout and Sniper falling for reader who's Ms. Pauling's bestie!

Scout

He isn't thrilled at hearing that someone is replacing Ms. Pauling for a day. Mainly because, y'know, he's in love with her and he won't get to see her.

After the announcement given by Ms. Pauling, Scout follows her like a sad puppy, asking why she's having her shift being taken by someone else. Is she getting fired? Is she getting a vacation with the help of some miracle? Does she not like working with them anymore? Pauling has to reassure him that it's just a shift change and nothing else before leaving Scout with his thoughts.

And suddenly, he finds himself in a dilemma. If he flirts with you, he's cheating on Pauling. But she doesn't love him back, so if he tried to flirt with you, maybe he would have a chance at finding love?

When you arrive at the base, Scout is the first person you see, since he's standing right by the door, anticipating your arrival.

"Hey, toots! You must be the one who's stepping in for Pauling, right?" He greets you with a smile.

"Yes, I am. You must be the Scout." You confirm.

"The one and only! Now, how about I show you the team and the base?" He asks, eager to show you around.

Despite you already knowing about the mercenaries and knowing the entire base's layout from cameras, you accept his request.

Scout slightly bashes his teammates as he's talking to you about them and seems to dwell more on himself than everyone else. The base tour wasn't the best either, he constantly missed stuff or didn't assign something correctly just because he couldn't read or didn't know what the room was for. Not to mention him randomly throwing pick-up lines and compliments at you.

When you tell Scout that you actually need to go and do some work, he follows you around, still pestering you and going to see what you're doing.

He's disappointed to see you go so soon at the end of the day. He asks you again and again if you will ever take another shift for Pauling or help her with something around the base.

"Well, you never know what kind of a job you could get working here. Maybe the Administrator will think on it because of your warm welcome!"

You assure him that there's a chance you two will meet again before leaving. Scout watches you as you leave, hoping to get an opurtunity to talk to you again.

When you meet Pauling again, she asks you how your day went, and the first thing that comes to your mind is Scout.

"Damn, you weren't kidding, he really has a motormouth. Does he ever stop talking?" You ask.

"Haven't lived to see it."

Scout spends way more time thinking about you than he should. You've only met one time, why was he so obsessed over you? Maybe because you were warmer, more open than Pauling was to him. Maybe this was a sign to move on.

Days and, eventually, weeks go by without him seeing you. He ends up asking Pauling where you've been, which she sees as a nice change of pace instead of him flirting with her and trying to ask her out on a date.

So, when you make another appearance in the base, he's by your side like a dog, happy to see you. Once again, he's on your tail, flirting and complimenting you.

After a few more visits, you open up to him, having more heart-to-heart conversations with him. The conversations are genuinely light and fun, making Scout realize how one-sided his love with Pauling was.

The more time Scout spends with you, the more he misses you when you're away. There are rare times where all he can think about is you and actually is kinda quiet. It's just that he's used to seeing Puling so often, but since you aren't technically working with the mercenaries, it's unusual for him to see you come over so rarely.

Scout can hardly contain his love for you, eventually, an idea comes to his mind, he could ask Ms. Pauling to help keep you two in touch. Sometimes Pauling acts as a simple messenger, repeating Scout's words to you or taking one of his gifts to you.

Pauling sees Scout coming towards her with a bouquet "No, Scout, I don't want flowers.'' She denies.

"They're not for you, they're for Y/n.." Scout says, slightly embarrassed.

Pauling's eyes widen in shock, but she's still glad the flowers weren't for her "Oh, okay. I'll get this to them."

When Ms. Pauling reaches you again, giving you Scout's gift.

"Wow, he must really want to welcome me with open arms, he's been giving me gifts every time I've seen him!" You say, adding the flowers to the pile of gifts he has given you.

Pauling knows Scout has a crush on you, but decides to not say anything about it to you, so you can figure it out by yourself.

He always tries to confess last minute, or ends up being interrupted before he can deliver those final, meaning words.

Until, one time, before you can even reach the base's door, he just confesses, blushing madly. It leaves you both surprised at the moment and how quickly it unfolds. But it also explains a lot to you.

For the rest of the day, you freely let him follow you, letting him talk his heart out to you.

Sniper

He kind of doesn't care that Ms. Pauling's shift gets taken by someone else. All that matters to him is that you don't screw anything up when the time comes for you to see what the team is like.

"Remember, if there's someone who shows up in purple uniform, in a black car, on Tuesday, 08.00 a.m. sharp, that's who's taking my shift."

The reassurance of Pauling suddenly felt needed to Sniper, maybe she's telling them this because someone else could replace you and would need to be caught. Sniper brushes off the anxiety though and goes to do whatever he needs to.

When the day comes, Sniper is the one who decides to keep look-out, waiting for you to arrive in his tower. He spots a black car, you step out. Sniper views you through his scope, going over Ms. Paulings announcement.

Purple uniform. Black car. It's a Tuesday... Sniper lifts his head and looks at his watch. Just a few seconds after 08.00 a.m.

His anxiety eases, watching you go to the base's front door and greeting the other mercenaries. Not wanting to get too involved, Sniper decides to not come down. You're going to be here for one shift and he doesn't like new people and socializing, there was no need for a connection between you two.

A few hours later, in his camper, Sniper hears some knocking. He groggily walks up to the door, expecting one of his teammates to bother him, only to find you standing outside.

"Good day, you're Sniper, right?" You ask.

"Yeah." He gives a short, simple answer, again, not wanting to create a bond with you.

"I'm Y/n. The other mercenaries asked if you could join them for lunch." You quickly introduce yourself and reveal what you came to him for.

"Oi'll make my own, thanks." He says.

"Engie made a brisket that took him hours, he would appreciate it if you joined everyone else to try it!" Your tone is more sincere, trying to convince Sniper.

"What buisness do you have in what my teammates would appreciate that Oi do?" Sniper asks, voice stern and filled with suspicion.

"I'm taking Pauling's shift and a part of her job is ensuring that you have a strong team bond! And that's my job today, so I actually do have to step in your relationships as teammates." You explain in a more serious voice, reminding Sniper he should respect you just like he respects Pauling.

The explanation and change of tone in your voice convinces him enough to leave his camper and join the rest of his team for lunch. For the rest of the day, he carefully observes you and the other team members, looking for anything that may be off about you.

After your shift is over, Sniper doesn't even notice when you go do other stuff. He had achieved his goal of not getting in your way too much and he doesn't mind it's the first and last time he sees you.

Sniper kind of forgets about you in like, a week or two, only occasionally getting reminded that you exist by his teammates mentioning you. That is, until he picks up the contractor one day and hears your voice.

"Hey, Sniper! You remember me, Y/n, right?" You quickly ask.

He confirms he still knows who you are. He listens to you as you tell him about his contract, but after the contractor disconnects, he becomes suspicious again, trying to reach out to Pauling and asking her if he can accept contracts from you. Pauling, once again, reassures him, telling him it's just like receiving a contract from her.

Now Sniper is used to getting contracts from both of you. But after some contracts, he starts to act differently without him noticing. He starts to eagerly pick up the contractor, as if he's bored and needs something to do.

With Pauling on the other end he greets her with "Oh, G'day Pauling." And you with "Hey, Y/n! Got another contract for me?" He seems to sub-conciously open up to you, using more friendly language.

It's only when he's visibly a bit disappointed when Pauling gives him a contract, but his spirit lifts when you give him one when he realizes there's something special about you. He can't put a finger on it, but the feeling is warm and makes him want to talk to you and hear your voice.

And then, a slip up from Sniper showed him what that feeling was. After you tell him about the contract, he thinks for a bit before accepting it.

"Don't worry, love. You've chosen the roight man for the job."

"Love?"

"..."

"Sniper?-"

After a moment of akward silence, Sniper hangs up, leaving you confused. He suddenly got embarrased, his face flushing and heartbeat becoming faster. "Fuck, why did I say THAT???"

The incident doesn't bother him too much. Until you show up at the base again. Seeing you in person suddenly makes him nervous and he slightly shakes as you talk to him. Sniper secretly wants you to stick around and when you go do something else all he's left with is a lingering feeling.

Of course, he denies these feelings, not wanting to mix his love life with work. Sniper pushes his affection for you aside, bottling it up. But his crush overwhelms him too much for it to be ignored. Maybe he just needs to think to himself for a bit.

You just chat with Pauling about the mercenaries, when out of the corner of your eye, something shines way up high. You turn your head to the little shine, seeing it's in Sniper's tower. Suddenly, it disappears and Sniper, too, is nowhere in sight. Despite him turning off his laser, the light reflecting from the scope's glass still made you look up at him. Sniper sits on the floor, embarrased that you caught him spying on you. The fact that he had decided to look at you and got flustered when you noticed his stalking was enough for Sniper to realize there really was something special abaout you.

Meanwhile, down on the ground. "Does he do that to everyone?" You ask Pauling, confused.

"Well, in my first few weeks he did that too, so he's probably just still suspicious of you." Pauling explains and you shrug.

It takes him a good month or even two to do something about his feelings towards you. And during that time, he loses a lot of sleep, thinking about how he should confess, if he should confess, how the relationship would be taken further, etc.

Sniper EVENTUALLY invites you over for coffee with the help of Ms. Pauling. You both talk for a bit before you have to leave again to take care of the Administrator's buisness. By then, Sniper is sick of himself being too nervous to tell you about his feelings and gives you a speedy confession while blushing.

You're both kind of surprised, looking at each other with wide eyes for a little moment. After the akward silence passes, you invite him for a date. He's surprised that you feel the same, but glad to have you by his side.

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 x reader requests #tf2 scout #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 sniper #freak fortress #tf2 sniper x reader

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