#mike hurts his siblings on purpose but lets himself get hurt for their sake because he loves them

[crumbleclub]

Conflicting dynamics between Michael and his siblings are so intriguing. I feel like a lot of people slant strongly one way or the other– he's either protrayed as a good brother who's been thrust into a parental role and does everything for his siblings, or as a complete monster of a kid who spends all of his spare time tormenting his little brother– but it's more interesting to me when it's both.

The Michael who cruelly locks his brother in a room surrounded by the things he fears most and the Michael who tries to redirect his father's abuse away from Evan and towards himself are the same person.

The Michael who did his sister's hair every morning is the same Michael who tore apart her toys when he was angry with her, and both parts of him were there when he found himself crying in her room at the realization she was never coming home.

On top of that, they probably had a lot of very normal moments, too. They played outside together in the summer and tried to pawn their chores off on each other. There was one song they all liked when it came on the radio, and they made fun of the adults they knew when nobody else was around. None of them knew how to talk about their feelings, but, when one of them had been having a really rough time, they'd find that the breakfast Mikey made the next morning was their favorite, or Evan's favorite show had been put on even when Elizabeth had the remote, or an anonymous party had left a really cool rock on Michael's bedside table.

It must have been strange from the younger kids' perspectives, especially Evan's. Your brother keeps making you cry on purpose, and he's so, so mean, for no reason at all, but you know the bruise under his eye had been meant for you.

#i love when things conflict without cancelling each other out #the rights don't undo the wrongs but the wrongs don't mean that the kindness meant nothing either #and as much as it would hurt mike to realize there's a lot of parallels between him and william here #mike hurts his siblings on purpose but lets himself get hurt for their sake because he loves them #where william hurts his kids without giving it much thought at all #but he still wants to love them. he's pretty sure that he doesn't but he still wishes that he did #shakes the concept by the shoulders. i love when everything is true at once #fnaf #michael afton #cc afton #evan afton #elizabeth afton #mike's actual writing #cw neglect #cw abuse #afton siblings

[daresplaining]

"He killed my brother. He killed my Michael. How can I let him live?" Devil's Reign #6 by Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Marcio Menyz, and Clayton Cowles

Okay, let's talk about it.

I will give this plot point two tiny slivers of credit:

I cried so hard that I had a headache for the rest of the day.

There is a kind of beautiful, tragic poetry in Mike fighting so hard for his personhood and autonomy, only to be killed by someone who thinks he is Matt.

For the purposes of this commentary, I am going to be taking this at face value and assuming that Mike is really, truly dead. I have reached the stage in my mourning where, against my better judgment, I've started to poke at the grey areas that suggest he might somehow have survived, but that's not what this post is about. I hope to look back at this in a few months and laugh about how gullible and sad I was, but I won't try to predict the future. I don't know if Mike is coming back, but I can talk about these panels and the plot points-- and lack thereof-- that led up to them. In any case, when you get right down to it, this issue isn't even about Mike. It's about Matt, and his grief over losing someone he could barely even bring himself to talk to.

The big question going into this issue, beyond whether Mike was actually dead, was how Matt would react. I have problems with the fact that this was even a question at all (more on that later), but based on the evidence presented between the 2020 Annual and now, I would not have been surprised if he'd just said "Well...I knew Mike's criminal lifestyle would catch up to him eventually." Furious? Oh, yeah. But not surprised. Given this low level of expectation, the sheer depth of Matt's grief was all the more gratifying, and all the more heart-shattering. His sorrow and pain aren't just acknowledged, they drive his actions in this climactic issue. Losing Mike can now be added to an exalted list of Daredevil plot lines-- Elektra's death, "Born Again"-- in which Matt is driven murderous with grief and rage. We're led to understand that if Elektra hadn't been there to stop him, he would have killed Fisk for killing Mike, and wow, that is awesome. It gives Mike huge lasting significance and shows with undeniable clarity how much Matt cared about his brother. As a Mike fan, that's all I've wanted this entire time, but getting it now, only after Mike is gone, just for the sake of making his death hurt, further emphasizes how much was withheld from us in the rest of the run.

I don't tend to read reviews, but I skimmed through a few for Devil's Reign #5 because I was curious to see how non-Mike nuts were reacting to that ending. One reviewer commented that his death wasn't surprising, since his character hadn't been going anywhere. And it hurts, but frankly, I agree. However, while the reviewer just left it at that, as a simple statement of fact, I am going to put the blame directly on the writing: the brand-new character of Real Boy Mike Murdock had a million exciting paths available to him. This writer made an active choice to not send him down any of them. I know I've been hard on Chip Zdarsky throughout his entire run. We fundamentally disagree on many Daredevil-related things, and I respect that and should probably stop griping about it. But this is an extra huge disappointment, because come on, it's Mike. This is a character who needed some narrative tender loving care, and I am frustrated that instead, his story was neglected to such a degree that death felt like the most logical end result.

I mentioned that I was giving this issue credit for making me feel things, and I am. It's about our hero processing the death of a family member, and that's always going to be powerful. But Mike, obviously, is unique in this sense. This is not a standard sibling relationship. It is a sibling relationship that exists in potentia. At the end of Daredevil #608, Matt accepted Mike as his new brother, and then in the 2020 Annual, Mike made it official by changing the past and cementing his history as Matt's real twin. The Annual gifted us with some wonderful scenes from their shared childhood, ending with their experience watching their father's last boxing match together. But beyond that? We have nothing. The Annual built a strong, beautiful foundation upon which this relationship could be established, which was then left empty. Matt's grief is brutal to see, yes, but it also feels hollow because it comes out of nowhere. This is the only time in the present-day new continuity that we see him show any affection at all toward Mike, and we don't know anything about their relationship at any point in time beyond that final flashback. Think about this: Matt and Mike barely interacted in this run; of these interactions, all of them were arguments; and-- this hurts most of all-- Matt never, not once, talked to Mike while out of costume, meaning that from Mike's perspective, he has not had a single interaction with his brother since he turned himself real.

I'm not just complaining because I'm personally invested in seeing these guys interact. This is a gap in the narrative that weakened the end of the story (if we take Mike's death to be the end). If you want to use a new character like Mike long-term and keep people interested in them, you need to give them room within the story to do things, and grow, and develop. If you want to kill them off to make their brother sad...you still need to do those exact same things, because otherwise you're just killing a cardboard cutout. We needed something, even if it was just for the sake of making this fridging feel somewhat earned. As readers, we can look at the minimal available evidence and assume that the twins are not close, sure, but even that is not explored. Why are they not close? What happened? How long has this been the case? What, actually, is their relationship? We get nothing, and it does a tremendous disservice to Mike's character, because he is so new that every piece of development matters. He is, in every respect, an incomplete person, and he stays that way in this run despite every opportunity to add depth, nuance, and emotion to his new existence.

The Annual was stunning, it centered Mike's emotional journey and gave him a past, but then he never got a present in this new reality. One gets the impression that this writer didn't know what to do with him beyond writing his backstory. Mike would show up for a few panels every couple of issues, react to whatever Butch was doing, and then disappear again. I think I can firmly say that plot-wise, this run would not have been any different if Mike hadn't been in it. And that would be fine (I guess...), but again, this is a brand new character, whose attachment to the protagonist is tenuous at best, who gets barely any panel-time, and who is then killed off for shock value-- which thus lacks the proper power for anyone who didn't come into this run already giving a damn. I cried because I'm a Mike fan who cares, not because this writer told a heartbreaking story about him.

Before this issue, I might have suggested that this writer just wasn't putting much thought into this relationship, but what kills me is that this issue proves that isn't true! The way he writes Matt here makes it obvious that he's thought about it. Matt is inconsolable. He did care about Mike, and of course he did, this is his brother! But again, given the uniquely amorphous nature of Mike and his situation, we can't assume anything. We have no recent frame of reference for these guys. With all of the obvious effort put into showing Matt's deep love for Mike in this issue, we couldn't get any prior on-panel exploration of it? Not even a tiny bit? I'm not even saying they needed to hug and make up in this run. Family can be complicated, as Matt knows better than anyone. I adore his awkward, sweet dynamic with Sister Maggie, which is a relationship largely defined by both physical and emotional absence, in which it has taken years for them to close the gap and build up to feeling like parent and child. I love that. It works. If Matt and Mike are estranged, that's fine and wonderful. That could have been their dynamic: not liking each other. If we want to dig into the subtle implications and lack of anything else in this run, we can look at Matt's grief here as being defined not only by love, but by regret at the fact that he kept putting off talking to Mike, that he didn't try to make amends, and that now it is too late. That could have been a beautiful tragedy. But even that is something that we, as readers, have to infer entirely on our own, because it is not in the writing. Mike was entirely absent from Matt's thoughts when not on-panel.

I've been thinking about what I would have preferred: this, or Mike not being in this run at all. It is still wild to me that his character even lasted this long, and I cherish every panel, but in many ways, if this is really the end, I think I would have preferred for him to be benched until a writer came along who was willing to use him to his full potential. I keep thinking about how Soule and Noto left things in Daredevil #612:

Matt (caption): "There was no moment of realization that I needed to use the time I had. No grand unmasking to Frank McGee and the others. No last, tragic night with Elektra. No battle against incredible odds with Daredevil triumphant. No emotional reunion with my brother, no redemption for him. No redemption for me." Daredevil vol. 5 #612 by Charles Soule, Phil Noto, and Clayton Cowles

There really wasn't, huh.

#Devil's Reign #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Mike Murdock #Mike Murdockalypse #ID in alt text

[breakingspecters]

20-30 for kassius AND sage!!!

20.In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Kass:

Kass compares himself to others in terms of achievement, life experience, and how much of a decent human being they are to others. His self-comparison almost always skews self-critical, as he has a tendency to really believe in others but not extend that same compassion to himself. He tends to think “I should have done that. I’m going to start learning to do that, and I can’t mess up.”

Sage:

Sage is very self-critical, but has reached the “fuck it, I’m a lost cause” point for himself. He just assumes everyone is better than he could ever be, so when he consciously self-compares, it’s usually to validate his actions. Like, thinking, “Oh, people on extreme couponing buy WAY more than I do, so I don’t have a spending problem.”

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Kass: 

While Kass is on the “I believe I caused it,” side, he’s also on the “I’m going to fix it,” side. He’s a very proactive person and will try to find some way to reverse the affects of any situation whether or not he genuinely believes he’s responsible, because in his experience, no one he was close to would ever take responsibility. It was just easier for him to take the blame and fix it. This DOES result in him overstepping boundaries and trying to fix peoples’ problems for them.

Sage:

Sage is on the “That’s a mess. Oh well, I earned it,” side of things, and tends to try and not deal with it. There are occasions where he’ll offset blame on others (usually as an excuse not to confront his trauma, it hurts to think about), but usually he’ll throw his hands up in defeat and say, “Welp. It’s what I get.”

22. What does your character like in other people?

Kass:

Kass loves to see compassion and understanding at work. He grew up surrounded by people who were determined to misunderstand him, so to see someone genuinely listen and respond in kind really, really brightens his day. Also, he loves someone with a wicked sense of humor. And, despite being a tech geek, loves hanging around near artistic types. 

Sage:

Sage likes to see intelligent, passionate thinkers at work. He considers himself a little bit of a philosopher, and while he considers himself not booksmart, he loves talking to people who he believes are. Seeing people in love with ideas is just fascinating. And, he likes it when people surprise him. Digging into the hidden layers of someone’s mind is like bonding to him.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Kass:

Kass dislikes people who are quick to blame others, who only superficially listen, and who believe they have more of a right to something than someone else does. Also for the love of god, PLEASE stop flat-tiring him. Jim from Psych 201, he’s looking at you.

Sage:

Sage dislikes people who make others deal with their drama or make things about themselves at every given opportunity, who argue literally at EVERY chance, and who condescend. Big egos just really piss him off.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Kass:

Relatively so. He operates on an “innocent until proven guilty” basis, and feels he has no reason to distrust a majority of people on-sight. That said, past experiences with toxic others, discrimination, and betrayal make him wary of seeking out others.

Sage:

Everyone’s held at arm’s length, until they somehow manage to earn his trust. Then he’s loyal until the end and will defend you always. He’s quite social and has a myriad of acquaintances, but only rarely has true connections. He’s scared he’ll hurt perfectly good people.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Kass:

Depends. As said earlier, he believes in “innocent until proven guilty”, though has a tendency to misread the actions of others and feel slighted. He spends a while talking himself in and out of how he understands the person’s action and if he should even do anything about it until he either brings it up or lets it go. Their reaction determines whether or not he still trusts them.

Sage:

Also depends. He’s suspicious of everyone he’s not close to, and that’s... a lot of people. However, when he lets them in, he’ll believe they hung the moon and can do no wrong. That means he ends up putting up with a lot he shouldn’t have to. Often, even if at some point he KNOWS they’re hurting him, he’ll just justify it. Unless what they’ve done is super egregious and immoral. Then they’re in for the tongue-lashing of a lifetime.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Kass:

Pretty good! He’s the oldest of his two siblings and spent a good amount of time watching them when his parents were busy or at work. He tends to take the “I will now tell you how the world works” approach. Teaching others and helping them understand something really, really drives him. So much so, for a while he considered pursuing education as a career. 

Sage:

Doesn’t quite understand kids, but he doesn’t underestimate them, either. He’s pretty much the same around them, minus the crass language and political rants. Calls most any kid “little dude” and if he has to babysit, focuses on having fun.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Kass:

If he finally convinces himself the problem is worth bringing up, he’ll try to pull someone aside and talk about it. If he’s confronted with his own behaviors, he’s quick to apologize, but also gets just a bit defensive. In his mind, he’s just letting the person know he didn’t hurt them on purpose or isn’t, like, evil. But, it just looks like he’s trying to excuse himself.

Sage:

He’s got two gut reactions: 1. Avoid; Either he’ll redirect the conversation or just straight up ditch. 2. Argue; What, are you calling ME bad? What the fuck?

In both cases, he still believes he’s the issue anyways, but he lashes out.

If he really, REALLY trusts someone, though, he’ll try to pull himself together and talk. He’s not good at it though.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Kass:

Oh, heavens no. He doesn’t think it’s really worth it most of the time. If the need be, he would fight in self-defense; He’s not spineless. But... nah. If words can’t reach them, fists aren’t gonna do any better.

Sage:

Kind of quick. If he’s anxious, doesn’t trust the person, and has no way to escape, you bet he’ll throw his scrawny fists. In middle school, he was the kid that’d pummel dudes who so much as looked at his friends wrong. Don’t get me wrong, though, he’s not a saint or hero.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Kass:

He dreamt of two things: Working with technology in the astronomy field, and being a musician. Real conflicting, right?

He’s lost sight of his goals due to his overbearing family and immense pressure to succeed (due to family, financial strain, reputation, you name it) and doesn’t know how to really address what he wants. He had a mental breakdown right after high-school and for a bit, REALLY lost sight of his goals and what he wanted. His family let him stay, but he was still expected to be the emotional caretaker of his mother and the only adult-like person in the house. Out of necessity pulled himself together and got himself a scholarship and made the very tough decision to cut contact w/ his family and is now working to understand what he wants.

Sage:

When he was in his early teens, he decided he was going to be a famous tattoo artist... or a musician. He actually scored an apprenticeship right after high-school and then... His family decided they were under no legal obligation to house him and kicked him out. He couldn’t maintain any sort of rent payment, so he had to switch jobs.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Kass:

Aside from the things we know to be morally disgusting, Kass HATES slugs, chewing with your mouth open, ranch dressing, places that smell like the inside of someone’s mouth, beer (literally its spoiled yeast juice at LEAST drink the mike’s dude), and wet socks.

Sage:

Also aside from the things we know to be morally disgusting, Sage HATES that weird sour pre-rain smell, the smell of wet clothing, starchy foods that have gotten soggy, cucumbers, geoduck (though he still loves making people pronounce it), the smell of sandalwood

#long post #kassius #sage

[thatfairyfangirl]

True Colors Chapter 26

The morning sun rose over the city, pouring light onto your face as your alarm clock screamed in your ear, time to wake up. With a murr you rolled over, tempted to stay in your sheets, but knowing you needed to move. As you pulled on a quick change of sweats, wrapping up your possibly broken wrist and pulled your rainbow into a ponytail you could feel the chill of pre-autumn creeping into the morning air, though you knew it would be warm enough by mid day. The tower was a short jog from your building, just long enough for a decent warm up. You weren’t sure if you were really ready for this...but here it goes. You passed through the doors and made your way to the training room to join the others...it was time to get back in the game.

You were greeted by welcoming hugs from everyone...all but one. “Where’s Bucky?” You asked with a hint of worry missed by no one. “Is he alright?”

“He’s fine.” Steve assured you as he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “He left pretty early though, not sure where.”

“You guys mind if I join you?” You asked timidly, cradling your wrist, still finding it to be in a moderate amount of pain.

Steve smiled at the question, happy to hear you were ready to finally come back. “I think first you should get your wrist looked at.”

~ ~ ~ ~

It wasn’t that difficult for Bucky to find out where Mike was staying. He shuffled through the city, his hair pinned down to his skull by his ballcap lost in thought. He knew The Red Skull wasn’t in that building as it burned, he watched him vacate the facility days prior to ‘return home’ whatever that meant. But as much as he knew he should be worrying about that, about the fact that Hydra wasn’t as dead as everyone believed, all he could worry about was you. He didn’t mean to hurt you and he didn’t want to lose you. So with a heavy breath he mustered all the self control he could before lightly knocking on the apartment door.

A groggy Michael opened the door only to perk right up seeing who was on the other side. “Well if this isn’t a dream come true.” He smirked pushing his ear length curls back looking the soldier up and down, having drug every detail about him out of you months ago.

“I need your help.” He shifted as he stood, feeling rather uncomfortable with the look Mike was giving him.

“Mmm I’m sure you do.” Mike murred as he stepped aside to let him in, gesturing to the couch to invite him to make himself comfortable.

“I think I hurt (Y/N)” He admitted with sad puppy dog eyes as he sunk into the sofa.

“Oh I know you hurt (Y/N). She’s been an absolute wreck...She’s been having to force color into her hair all week and then suddenly she just vanishes again! Why didn’t you just come to opening night! It meant the world to her! Even her parents showed up for Christ sake! You’re damn lucky you’re adorable or I’d have punched you by now.”

“I know…” He half sobbed letting his face fall into his hands. He saw all the texts you had been sending to him last night once he was able to fully move all parts of his body again. “I was,” he paused not sure exactly how much he should tell a civilian, “on a mission….and I got trapped...That’s where she ran off to...to save me.”

“And why didn’t you just tell her all this then?” He folded his arms, still not sure if he should be angry or not...trying his best to suppress the crush he’s had on his friend’s man since day one.

“Because I was heavily sedated and while I was coming to I think I may have broken her wrist...and maybe a few ribs.”

“Oh well then I’m definitely not helping you. Get out.” Mike moved, readying to kick the metal armed man out of his apartment. He only paused for a second when he noticed Bucky clenching his metal fist, the plates tightening, a soft whirring coming from inside. “So does that arm have any hidden talents?” He joked to alleviate the pressure building around the two.

“No...it wasn’t on purpose...I was being held by this psycho bitch...While I was under I could feel her touching me...The thought of (Y/N) was the only thing that got me through that.” He let out a sigh before looking up to the actor, a pathetic plea of a man half broken in his eyes. “Look, I love her, and I feel terrible. A simple I’m sorry just isn’t enough for everything that’s happened. Please...Help me.”

“Did you know (Y/N) has been my best friend since preschool? Closest thing I’ve ever had to a sibling.” He offered as he sat down in a chair across from him. “She was the first person I came out to...and then a few years later the first person I told I was gay.” He let out a chuckle looking up to your love. “And even if I wasn’t...ever since I came to New York the only thing she’s talked to me about was you. I’ve never seen her this crazy or this broken up about anyone in my life.”

“Then help me.” He begged as he looked up to your friend, dark hair spilling into his eyes.

“Alright... How far are you willing to go for her?” He asked with a mischievous smirk that made Bucky just a little uncomfortable.

“To the end of the line.” This was exactly what he wanted to hear. Bucky watched Mike rise from his seat, stretching out.

“Alright...then show me what you’ve got.”

“But...But I’m not….” He could tell Bucky was beginning to panic internally.

“Oh you dirty boy.” Mike winked. “But I mean if you want to we can do that too…No...what I have planned for (Y/N) is going to take some skill I want to make sure you have.”

#marvel #marvel x reader #Avengers #avengers x reader #bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #Winter Soldier #winter soldier x reader