#maybe unfinished is the vibe of this playlist

[theold-ultraviolence]

Good morning, last night I posted Eddie hcs but it was dead out there. Then I realized it was sunday night, so, 😅 will be reposting those again in a little bit

#also send me some good vibes that this new Eddie fic i’m working on will be finished during spreak break #kind of a tough goal but hey #it’s also gonna be a long ass one shot fic because I can’t be trusted with multichapters anymore lol #that’s always an unfinished mess #AND I TOTALLY FORGOT I’VE BEEN MEANING TO POST MY CHARACTER PLAYLIST MASTERLIST #maybe i’ll do that today

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

I should probably make some art for truman show au…

#personal #random #I haven’t really put much out there for it #I mean I’m working on a playlist but like #that’s more for me to vibe to than anything else?? #i have a ton of animatic ideas #but I can’t animate #and I have an unfinished drabble sitting somewhere in my various notebooks and google docs #i should probably make a lil thing for that at some point… #…maybe after I finish this daybreaker doodle #anyways uh #savin this for later #REMINDER TO MYSELF MAKE SOME ART OF SUN LOSING HIS SANITY CMON DUDE

[rrxnjun]

portrait of a blank slate. huang renjun

pairing: huang renjun x fem! reader genre: college au. fluff, smut, and the tiniest bit of angst. warnings: swearing, alcohol, angry man renjun, very bad dialogue, this is the most un-renjun fic i've ever written, dry humping, a heavy makeout session, unfinished blowjob word count: 5.8k playlist: no specific one this time but i listened to a lot of keshi while writing this, so have this playlist of mine to fit the vibes a/n: inspired by that one tweet describing how someone's art professor met his wife the same exact way, lost the screenshot and also the og post im so sorry!

turns out all it takes to save a life is a bad, bad college party, a few shots and a weird, magical coincidence back in a girl's dorm room.

It’s hard to believe that Huang Renjun is currently finishing up the art portfolio he needs for his summer internship program after procrastinating and angrily stomping at every single bad stroke of his paintbrush for the last few months.

Because he’s not.

He’s looking at the canvas with stern eyes, the smudges on the white linen so messy he could cry just by looking at them, and the more he tries to save the disgrace currently scribbled in front of him, the worse it gets and makes the levels of frustration in him turn into rage and fury, because let’s be honest– what is Renjun’s primary emotion if not anger. 

And he tries hard to fix it again, he really does– he sighs heavily while doing so as he takes a smaller brush and tries to paint on a few hairstrokes to the portrait of Frida Kahlo he wants to execute– and in honest reality, it doesn’t even look half as bad as it does in the poor boy’s eyes when he takes a step back after holding in his breath and carefully piercing together the artwork. Maybe if there was someone else in the room– everyone but his annoying roommate Donghyuck, because that fucker always manages to make things even worse– they could talk him out of it, offer some words of consolidation, even, hype him up and tell him that with outsider’s eyes, the canvas looks beautiful and very well put together. But the truth is that there’s no one present right now, not a single soul in what feels like the whole campus right now, that could ease Huang Renjun’s frustration from what seems to be art block, when he throws the paintbrush to the wall (he’ll worry about the stain of acrylic paint later, when he gains consciousness) and puts a fist through the middle of the painting.

If he was a character in a comic book, his hand would go through the canvas and create a quite satisfying hole. He’s a real person, though– a weak one as well, to be quite honest– and his fist is stopped by the stretched-out fabric, making his hand bounce back, but now stained with all shades of brown and tan, which somehow only makes him even more mad and turns him into a furious animal roaming around free and causing uttermost chaos in his all true sense.

Nothing can stop Huang Renjun when he opens the drawer he keeps all his artwork in, taking out all the graphite sketches and colored pencil drawings, and then the next one containing the watercolor paintings and various other acrylic paintings done on expensive sheets of paper, stacking all of those onto one pile in the middle of the table. Not one thing is safe– except from the digital artworks he keeps in his iPad and his big A4 sketchbook he forgot about in the heat of the moment, since he keeps it on his nightstand– when he takes the big, heavy stack of art and runs, chimes towards the entrance of his and Donghyuck’s miniature dorm room, luck only standing by his side once in this whole evening when his said roommate opens the door and clears the way for him, looking at the poor boy with mouth agape in a slight shock.

“What the fuck are you doing right n–”

Donghyuck doesn’t get an answer. When he asks stupid questions, Renjun doesn’t tend to pay him much mind, settling on not engaging with the discourse if it doesn’t make much sense, so Hyuck should be used to the ignorance– he thinks this was a very valid question to ask at this moment, though. If he was curious enough, he’d even follow his roommate down the hall and watch him in his endeavors only to find out what’s the intention behind his angry stomping and the fierce look on his face. The truth is, though, he doesn’t care all that much.

That doesn’t stop Huang Renjun, though, as he chimes down the hall of the boy’s dormitory, kicks the glass door open (thankfully not the actual glass part, because that would for sure be expensive) and practically runs the rest of the way towards the bins at the end of the street, dumping the papers into the bin (forgive him for not recycling in his current state of mind) before he angrily kicks the poor object twice for good measure and turns on his heel, slowly, but still as angrily making his way back to his dorm room by stomping all the way up until the entrance.

The dorm guard doesn’t even ask for his dorm ID like he usually does– Renjun must have been quite memorable as he ran out of the building with 5kg of artwork of various sizes in his arms– but the truth is, the man isn’t as old and he saw the boy going out just a few minutes ago, so he doesn’t think it’s necessary. Renjun would appreciate the memo, although, when he remembers that the man always asks for the dorm ID, especially on the nights out when he comes back slightly intoxicated and too disoriented to look for the little slip of paper in his pockets, and on the nights when he forgets his dorm ID as well– the man was set on letting him sleep on the front porch of the dormitory once and it took Renjun 15 calls to get ahold of a sleeping Donghyuck and another 15 of him walking down the hall in slippers and pajama bottoms with his roommate’s dorm ID in hand before he could warm his bones from the cold slowly seeping into his bones on the January night– and that whole thing makes Renjun somehow even more angry at the whole situation.

And so when he comes into his room again, Donghyuck now sitting on his bed still in his outside clothes (something Renjun hates and would murder for), and his eyes land on the damaged canvas still waiting for him in the corner of the room, he wastes no time in opening his window and throwing it down from the second floor, not really caring where it ends up or if he’s gonna get a fine for violating one of the dormitory rules– to never throw stuff out of the windows..

“Dude, what is–”

“Don’t ask.” Renjun huffs as he closes the door and peels his clothes off, taking a towel that’s still hanging from the top bunk of their bed and aims towards the bathroom door. A true tantrum can only end in a cold shower, and that’s what Renjun’s gonna do as he washes his dreams down the drain and ends up silently crying himself to sleep tonight in agony.

It’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party since the days of ‘megaparties’ of Johnny Suh, the senior that’s slowly halting his party performance due to stilling in life. Renjun was dragged to Lee Jeno’s party by his roommate Donghyuck after he mourned in his bed for approximately two days before it got too much for the poor gemini, promising and honestly thinking that alcohol is truly the best solution for the poor boy’s misery. Again, it’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party of the year when he listens to the loud EDM music piercing through his eardrums and he swears he catches a glimpse of a couple dry humping on the couch.

Because he’s not.

He’s at a college party, sure. He’s also getting some alcohol into his system– because why not, am I right? He’s not the one paying, and that’s always enough of a reason to drink. Is it the best college party he’s ever experienced, though? Absolutely not.

It’s quite literally the worst party he’s ever been to. The music is too loud and the whole house smells of cheap vodka, people are pushing each other around and with the amount of alcohol in his system, the whole room feels like he’s on a boat, his stomach weak and his eyes hazy. Renjun must admit Hyuck’s therapy skills are kind of paying off– because at least now he’s not thinking about the wasted opportunity of a summer scholarship and is instead looking into the eyes of his cute classmate from History class across the room– but at the same time, he’s not thinking much of anything in this moment, and the glint of your eyes is the only thing he can focus on when you get closer.

That might be a good or a bad thing– depends on how the encounter goes. There’s a fine line between the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to get rid of his usual shyness and speak to other, much more attractive human species, and the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to black out and puke on the floor, efficiently making it impossible for him to chat up the cute classmate he’s been eyeing the whole semester and ruining his chances of ever being seen in a good light in front of the said person ever again. He prays intensely that he hasn’t crossed the line yet when you open your mouth and speak to him in the crowded kitchen.

“Renjun!”

“Y/N!” he tries to mimic your tone, a flashy grin settling onto his face when you approach him first. You two aren’t strangers, after all– you’ve sat together in class during various exams and also accidentally bumped into each other in the cafeteria, but what were your courageous attempts in making conversation with him and efficiently trying to make him more interested in you didn’t lead to your desired goal of getting invited out by him, instead leading him to think you’re just that friendly to everyone and not just him, making the chances of him taking the next step that much slimmer. Not tonight, though– he really must have had too much to drink.

“How are you?” you ask, clearing your throat as you bump into someone and decide to shift closer to Renjun, making the boy’s breathing hitch in his throat.

“Wonderful,” he gasps, and for some reason, the response laced in irony makes an excited laugh escape your throat, and the more he listens to your bubbly giggle, the more he wishes he did music instead of fine arts, because maybe if he was competent enough, he could mimic the sound in one of his songs and replay it over and over even when you’re not around. 

“That sounds very genuine,” you note, which makes the boy laugh in return, making him wonder if maybe he could have the same effect on you– if you’re smiling wider now because of the sound of his laughter, or if you’re just amused at something completely else. 

It’s pathetic, really– the gloomy boy that was trailing to this party behind his roommate Donghyuck is nowhere to be seen now, instead replaced by the cheap imitation of a ray of sunshine that you brought out of him only with the magic of a few words and the few drops of alcohol on his tongue.

“Oh, trust me, it was genuine,” he teases, and you only nod to his attempt at masking his obviously saddened composure from before.

“Having a rough week?” you ask, and you sound truly interested– something Renjun hasn’t found in the tone of his roommate when he insisted on dragging him here– and maybe that’s the reason why he just shrugs and decides to come clean and be honest with you. You seem like that kind of person that wouldn’t make fun of his troubles, the kind of person that would genuinely want to help– although he’s not seeking counseling tonight, he figures he can talk a bit about his shitty mood if it means that it gets the conversation flowing.

“A rough life, actually,” he snickers before he sees you eye him with a concerned look, “just joking,” he adds before he retracks back and fixes his initial answer. “Some things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, so I’m kind of moping around for a bit.”

You seem to feel empathetic towards the boy, nodding and pouting at his confession. “Well, I hope things get fixed for you, Jun,” you mumble, tone of voice encouraging– and maybe he could dwell at the caring nature of you a little longer, only if it wasn’t for your use of a nickname for him that just oh so sweetly rolls of your tongue and Renjun wishes he could legally change his name to the nickname so he could listen to the way it sounds forever– scratch that, to the way it sounds from your mouth forever, which means he won’t change it, just so it’s reserved for you and only you to say.

“What about you, though?” he finds himself asking in the midst of his inner screeching.

“Me? I’m great, totally fine, having the time of my life,” you emphasize, the over-the-top expression on your face making the boy burst into laughter as you wave your arms around as if to show him your surroundings. “I am a party person for sure, you know, so this is perfect,” you joke, and Renjun seems to get the memo. If he’s being honest, he’s not sure he’s ever seen you at a party before– not that he goes to many himself, which might honestly be the reason, actually– you could just be at different parties in different times that hadn’t overlaid, but by the way you’re currently tensely sipping at the alcohol in your hand, he figures you’re not too familiar with the scene of college partying.

“Who forced you to go? Was it your roommate?” Renjun remembers the girl from another one of his classes– you two were always walking around together and often got to class at the same time. Figuring out that you two lived together wasn’t as difficult, and she surely seems to be the more extroverted one.

“No, actually,” you say, eyes glimmering when he seems to remember the girl you share a room with, “to my surprise, honestly. It was another one of my friends– Na Jaemin, not sure if you know him– but the moment we got here, he disappeared and left me alone to deal with my thoughts,” you click your tongue and Renjun finds himself totally mesmerized with you– amazed with everything about you; the way you talk, the way you lean on the counter and watch him with stars in your eyes (which might just be the reflections of the kitchen lights, but don’t tell him that), the way you slightly lean into him when he cracks a joke and earns a laugh out of you…

“They always do that,” Renjun scowls, “they drag the introvert in and then force them to survive on their own…” he shakes his head in disappointment, clearly distraught over the situation. 

“Exactly! But if you ask them to come with you to a picnic, or to the library, they decline the offer. So much for being good friends,” you roll your eyes. Renjun finds himself smiling, and although he must admit that as every other college student, he himself would decline an invitation to a library if anyone asked, he’s like 99% certain that if it was you uttering out the question, he wouldn’t miss a heartbeat before joyfully jogging there with you. 

“Ask me next time,” he blurts out, a poor attempt at flirting, “I wouldn’t say no.”

And it seems like tonight is the night where you suddenly get the last kick of courage needed when you talk to Renjun– maybe fueled by his coy smile when he said the previous comment, maybe just acting out on pure hormones– tonight's the night where he breathlessly takes your offer, still not thinking much of it, but igniting a curious spark in his own heart nonetheless, when you scratch the back of your neck in the last residue of anxiety, scrunching your nose at him and mumbling under your nose, barely heard above the loud music resonating through the living room. “Do you wanna sneak into my dorm room, then?” 

Renjun almost chokes at your question– visitors in the dormitory are only allowed until midnight and as far as he’s aware, the clock is well after 2 AM right now, and he’s a male visitor, which is even more off the bounds in the eyes of the fierce woman guarding the entrance of the girl’s dormitory building. The more he stares at you, the more you seem to translate his silence into disagreement, which you panically try to undo with even more rambling. “I- I mean, since we both kind of hate this party and I think that if I drink more, I’m going to puke all over myself, so… My room is on the ground floor, so you can just climb in, if you wanted to. My roommate went home for the weekend, so there’s no one there, and we could– I mean, we don’t have to, honestly, but it’s kinda cold out and I thought we could both use a place more silent, ‘cause I really wanna head back now, but I don’t want to stop talking to you, y’know, and I don’t know if–”

“Okay, I’m down,” Renjun nods, efficiently shutting up your rambling, and when there’s a very apparent relief flashing over your face, he finds himself smiling in endearance at your antics, going as far as ruffling a hand through your hair in whatever kick the alcohol mixed with adrenaline gave him before you have him dragging his feet out of the house, both of your feet shuffling towards the campus.

The walk isn’t long, but he finds himself enjoying it. The condensation coming out of your mouths at the chilly weather serves more to the atmosphere when the both of you giggle out at absurd jokes and gossip, your voice breaking into soft hums when you sing a song under your breath in moments of silence that somehow feel both kind of awkward, but also kind of pleasant. He drags you by your hand to the other side of the sidewalk when a car passes by and you jump in surprise, eyes wide and glossy, mouth a little agape in an open-mouthed grin when his fingers stay intertwined with yours and you adjust your purse on your other shoulder, clearing your throat before you try to nonchalantly continue on with the conversation.

“I’ll go inside now,” you announce when you get to the girl’s dormitory building, breaking apart from the eager boy and coming closer to him when you confide the secret, “I’ll turn the light on in my room when I get there, so make sure to look out for the window. I’ll help you in, don’t worry,” you smile at him, and before he has a chance to reply, you disappear behind the glass door with a pep in your step. 

Renjun finds himself sighing– now is the moment when he should realistically get relief, the moment when he’s supposed to relax for at least a second and prepare himself for whatever might happen in your dorm room– but when he slowly walks over to the left wing of the building and squints at the dark squares of windows, he wonders how in the hell he’s gonna climb in. Escaping out will be an easy task– the windows aren’t that high up– but coming in will be the problem. He guesses it’s the same with the whole situation– he bets the easiest part of the whole evening will be jumping out and running to his own room– how to survive the night in your presence and not go completely insane, he doesn’t know and wishes he had a manual to before he agreed to do this in the first place.

When the light goes on in one of the rooms and you wave at him from the inside, he finds himself involuntarily jogging towards the window, gears in his brain turning faster than the speed of light when he reaches the wall and you grin at him, opening the window and offering him your hand. 

“If you grip the edge of the window and give me your hand, you can get in easily,” you say, watching as the boy cautiously looks around himself and scratches the back of his neck, mentally calculating his next movements.

“Have you done this before?”

“No,” you bashfully shake your head, “but my roommate did it twice, so I don’t think it’s that hard,” you note and nod at him, waiting for him to finally take action. 

Renjun finds himself doing what he’s been told– and even though he huffs and almost falls over to his back (which would kill him, he thinks, since his physique is very close to a turtle’s), victory fills his veins when one of his legs finally ends up in your window, his body stumbling forward and almost toppling you over when the warmth of your room welcomes him as he lands on top of your desk. 

“Welcome,” you laugh at him when he shakes his head in disbelief and takes off his coat, dropping it on top of the wooden table and watching you close the window behind him, so the cold doesn’t get in. 

“That’s one way of inviting guests over, I guess,” he teases you, watching as you roll your eyes at him and go over to one of the beds. Renjun notices the room is different to the one he shares with Donghyuck– you and your roommate have two beds instead of a bunk one, the table is right under the window and you get a little more space over-all. You turn on the little lamp kept on your bedside table, and the boy watches you with interest as you cautiously walk around your own room as if it’s your first time seeing it, reminding him a little of a deer in the headlights, clueless and suddenly out of ideas.

Renjun finds himself laughing at your behavior– he finds himself endeared by it, the way you play with your fingers in nerves and try to think of anything to do in the intimacy that suddenly envelopes you when you invite someone over to your dorm room in the middle of the night– and when you aimlessly end up standing in front of him, your big eyes even bigger and glossier than before, he snickers at the state of you and shakes his head.

“Okay, so I know I was the one who invited you over, but now I’m kind of helpless in what we should actually do and all…” you giggle, a little embarrassed when you bear your eyes into his, your body subconsciously slotted in between his legs, his position leaning on the edge of the table allowing you and inviting you to do so. 

“You’re cute,” he laughs at you, and before you have a chance to question him about the compliment, he has you silenced abruptly by his next actions.

“What do you–”

His hand is gripping your jaw and he leans into you, the newly found courage and affection towards you having him drunk on more than the alcohol, but also your whole presence– the way your hair smells when he’s this close to you, the way you pull the sleeves of your sweater further down when you don’t know what to do with your hands, the shyness in your gaze now that you have him in your cage– and his lips act on themselves when they press themselves against yours, soft but firm, tasting the strawberry juice mixed with vodka off your mouth, a surprised gasp against his lips more than enough to invite him even further in.

He feels your fingers tugging at his shirt and your skin growing hot under his touch, leaning back from you a little and finding you looking at him with a thousand different galaxies in your eyes, enough of a confirmation to him, but he’s a man– he still needs it vocally, when he grins lazily at you. “Was this one of the things you thought about when you invited me over?”

“Maybe…” you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, a clearly battled grin trying to settle its way onto your lips.

“You should’ve just said so, then,” he smiles when he leans into you again, a little more confidently this time and kisses you again, again and again.

You stay under the window for a while, lips pressed hard against each other as you try to learn the curves of each other’s mouths by memory, lazy hands threaded into his hair and an arm around your waist now, steadying you in place. Foreheads pressed against each other when you break away for air, giggles resonating through the room when his lips make their way towards your neck and the softness of his hair tickles your skin, fingers threaded when you tug him towards your bed and you watch him kick his shoes off before you follow him onto the soft mattress.

His head falls into your pillow and you straddle his lap, your hair falling into your face when you look down at him from your position, the newly found dominance in your position charging you with unexplainable energy, and Renjun can’t help but smile at you sweetly when your eyes meet and you eagerly lean down towards him, fingers once again intertwined with his, hands laying next to his head. Your breath fans his swollen lips that you once again find yourself attacking, the contact overwhelming you and making it hard to breathe. Who knows how long the both of you have wanted to do this but never had the courage to– it’s a miracle that it’s even happening tonight.

And with the built-up desire, you act instinctively– hands breaking away from his when you grip his cheeks and give him one last peck, lips now traveling down his jaw and neck instead, having the boy shivering under the contact, your actions slowly but surely driving him crazy when you find his sweet spot and you get a satisfied gasp from him, a reward for your tonight’s efforts.

His hand grips your hip, and something about the burn of his fingers even through the fabric of your jeans makes you move on instinct, earning yourself a sharper hiss this time that doesn’t make you stop, however– quite the opposite, actually– as you break into a wide grin at the very evident effect you have on him, your movements slow and painful, but still having him harden under you.

Goosebumps appear all over your skin when his cold fingers capture the skin of your stomach when he aimlessly tries to find a place in your body to ground yourself, but the more he answers to your movements, the more encouraged you get. He tugs you back down so you’re facing him, which does nothing to halt your painful pace as he drags out yet another kiss from you. 

“If we don’t stop now, it’s gonna be really hard for me to do so later,” Renjun huffs into your ear, which only gets you more excited.

“Who said I want to stop?” you ask him, fingers trailing up his side over his shirt, yet still making him fire up and flush in his cheeks. “Do you want to stop?”

“Do I look like I wanna stop?” he snickers, shaking his head in utter disbelief, hand traveling dangerously close to the cup of your breast.

“Let’s continue, then,” you muse, peeling yourself off him only the slightest amount, hands dragging themselves down his body until you reach the waistband of his pants, gently dragging the fabric down until he’s left in front of you only with a tent in his underwear, big eyes curiously and breathlessly watching you in your actions. He could be a gentleman and tell you you don’t have to, tell you to stop and come back up and that he will pleasure you first, but the more he watches you as you palm him over the thin fabric of his boxer briefs with the dangerous doe eyes of yours, the less he wants to do just that. In all reality– who is he to deny a blowjob from you? Or anyone, for that matter?

His whole body shudders under your touch, actions careful, but so painfully satisfying. Renjun watches your face with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, the reality of it all sobering him up and making him aware of each shift of your body, each centimeter your fingertip travels against his skin, each motion that slowly makes a bundle of nerves appear in his stomach. It only gets too much for him when you lean on your elbows, nails gently pricking the skin of his thighs as your mouth hesitantly greets his dick, and he feels like a virgin again when his eyes peel off you just in case he finishes just by watching you blowing him off like a highschooler at his first blowjob, forcing himself to watch the ceiling instead.

Eyes traveling all over your room– the closed window opposite of him, the bed on the other side of the room, the walls above your bed– he gets lost in the galaxy drawn on a piece of paper that’s plastered right above your pillowcase, and another graphite sketch of eyes bearing right into your soul, as if they were watching him in the act, and another one, of a deer that looks through the shade of the trees, before it hits him.

“Oh my god what the fuck–” he gasps, and his tone must have sounded too different to the satisfied moans that have been spilling out of his mouth up until now, because you abruptly stop your movements and your gazes lock, your eyes completely mortified.

“Am I doing something wrong?”

“Oh– Oh god no, fuck, you’re doing amazing, trust me,” apologies spill off his tongue at your distressed state, “it’s just– where… where did you get these?” he asks, pointing towards all the drawings taped all over your walls that he failed to notice in the heat of the moment before.

“Oh,” you cluelessly hum, eyebrows furrowed, “I found them spilling out of a trashcan close to the boy’s dorms when I was walking to class one morning, and they were so pretty I had to take them.”

“I– you like these?” Renjun asks, full of strange surprise and genuine curiosity. You’re now sitting back on your heels and looking at the boy with big eyes, still slightly clueless and very much in a weird state of distress– because why would a man ask you about the random artwork on your wall in the middle of a mindblowing blowjob?– before you nod with a slight pout, agreeing.

“Well, I wouldn’t have decorated my room with them if I didn’t like them, y’know… Why are you… why are you asking?”

“Oh,” Renjun repeats again, a dumbfounded look taking over his soft features before he sits up on the bed and scoots closer to you, a weird sense of euphoria spilling out every vein of his body when the held-back dopamine is released into his system. A wide grin appears on his lips before he stares into your eyes with a milky way mirroring behind his eyeballs, glittering orbs haphazardly gliding over your face before he reaches your lips again, pecking them one, two, three times before you break away and look at him with furrowed eyebrows, a slight crease right in between them.

“What are you–”

“I think I’m gonna literally cum just at hearing those words, Y/N,” he blurbs out before he kisses the tip of your nose again, completely endeared and close to a happy boy under the Christmas tree, and while you may enjoy that look on him, you’re still slightly confused. Huang Renjun sighs almost a little too dreamingly and smooths the wrinkle between your eyebrows with a careful swipe of his thumb, still not giving you any explanation.

“Renjun, I’m afraid I’m not quite following why this is so important to you right now,” you mumble, having your partner laugh airly– just as if all his worries escaped through the window and you fixed his life with a few drawings plastered on your wall.

“Those, dear Y/N,” he points towards the papers stuck to your walls, eyeing the specific one he worked for 3 hours on and kind of mourned the morning after he realized he threw it away, months of practice and art that maybe wasn’t even that bad in the first place ending up in the trash because of a fit of rage, “are all mine. Mine as in, I drew them… And then threw them out in the middle of a slight mental breakdown.”

You look at him for a few heartbeats, eye contact never breaking before you avert your gaze towards the artwork on the walls– it takes you a few seconds before it hits you– and you gasp, hurriedly looking back at the artist in front of you, stars glimmering in your eyes now as well, matching his excitement. “Oh my god, are you for real?”

“Yeah.”

“You drew all of these?”

“Yeah,” he nods again, breathless.

“This is an insane coincidence,” you snicker, and Renjun didn’t know he had it in him– maybe it’s still the effect of alcohol that slips off his tongue when he speaks– but he cages you in his arms as he kisses you again, a whole new world appearing in front of him when the cheesiness meets the comfort of your walls.

“You’d call this a coincidence?” he hums. “Maybe it was fate.”

Earning himself a sharp laugh, almost mocking him as you swat his shoulder, you fall back with him towards the mattress, and while the heated moment might be gone, you don’t mind at all. Renjun looks at you with a certain softness in his eyes, a pride swelling in his chest, and for a moment, it’s true and you truly did open up a new reality for him and changed his life forever, fixed all of his problems, if you will, because the appreciation it takes for a girl to tape up at least 20 of his messy artworks onto her wall after finding the stash in the trashcan on her way to class might just be the encouragement he needed to keep going with the craft. 

It’s hard to believe that this shitty party actually brought him somewhere– not only to your bed, but also to your life, to a beginning of something new and a restart in something he thought he’d forever be giving up on.

“So… Do you need those back? Because I kinda like them here,” you giggle, and the crinkle of his eyes is enough of an answer to you.

“You can keep them. I’ll just draw new ones you can look at,” he muses, stealing another kiss from you and squeezing your hip, having you squeal against his mouth.

“Now, to get back to what we were doing before–”

#nct #nct dream #renjun #renjun x reader #renjun fluff #renjun smut #renjun scenario #renjun fic #renjun drabble #nct dream scenario #nct dream reaction #nct dream smut #nct dream x reader #nct dream imagine #renjun imagine

[ao3commentoftheday]

Hi!

There’s a fic I have unfinished in a fandom I’m not really part of anymore, but I’m proud of it and would love to finish it one day, but I’ve found the best way for me to write is to be able to vibe with other people in the fandom or just talk about it. Now im not longer invested in the fandom its very difficult and the fandom itself isn’t quite as popular as it used to be. (Still very big)

I tried finding discord servers to do with the fandom but I couldn’t find any that were suitable. I was wondering if anyone else has had this problem where they want to finish a fic they love but aren’t in the fandom for anymore and if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do to try and invest myself in the fandom again or meet people who are passionate about it.

Sorry if this is a stupid question or has been asked before!

There are no stupid questions, and every question that's been answered before will still find a new audience with each response (see also: that explanation about no beta we die like X)

Question for you anon: what is it about "vibing with other people in the fandom" that helps you get your write on? Do you need to be able to bounce ideas off of people who are already familiar with the characters? Do you enjoy discussing canon moments and using that as a way to inspire fix it scenes or missing moments? Do you need people you can ask a quick question to in order to check on your characterization or canon compliance?

Or is it a case of needing an enthusiastic group of people who are interested in what you're writing? Do you need folks who are cheering you on as you write and maybe willing to give you a beta read here or there? Do you need to do a kind of "parallel play" where you're writing while someone else is creating a gifset and a third person is curating a playlist? Do you need someone you can do writing sprints with?

From those two sets of questions, you can probably see what I'm aiming at. The first set requires you to find folks from that specific fandom. The second set just requires people who are interested and friendly and fannish-in-general.

If you need the first group of people, you can try posting in the tumblr tag seeking cheer readers or betas. If you need the second group, you can find any kind of fandom writing server or even a local writer's group that's not associated with fanfic.

I'll stop here and let the blog folks add in their own ideas, but if you can figure out what it is that you need in order to hit that vibe, that'll get you on the path to finding it.

#asks and answers

[archerism]

actually i will be annoying about this. i love making playlists and i think i'm halfway decent at it? maybe? albeit with my weird music taste, but still. anyway. a list of my mash playlists under the cut:

general mash vibes

hawkeye

bj

margaret

beejhawk

beejhawk again, but with period-appropriate music (this one was a collab thank you loop and boost mwah)

and that's it so far! i have a couple unfinished ones that i may poke at again, idk. but anyway thank you for checking these out if you so choose

#i also have public playlists for a couple other things. it is mostly mash tho #txt #mash #i also edit these constantly dont worry about that

[whatsnewalycat]

Hey pals, I’m editing Chapter 12 of Psychomanteum. So I come bearing gifts: a poem I found inspiration from (Fabric Swatches, Paint Samples by Neil Hilborn), link to the Spotify playlist, and a little bite sized excerpt (below cut). I will post tomorrow or Sunday, but my goal is tomorrow.

✨🖤✨🖤✨🖤✨🖤✨

You hop up onto the kitchen counter and inquire, “Where’s the most haunted place you’ve been?”

Dieter pauses mid-brushstroke and scrunches his face up as he thinks about this, resuming when he says, “Well, hotels are always the worst. They’re so transitive, you know, all this energy coming and going constantly. And the people stuck there… they usually went intending to have a good time, a vacation or party or whatever, and something happened to them. That, or… they went in with an intention not to come out and succeeded.”

The implication unfolds in your brain, and you nod.

“Either way they seem to have unfinished business,” he shrugs and squints at the canvas, smudging paint with his thumb, “Usually they’re harmless, so it’s pretty easy to ignore,” he pauses here, clears his throat, then continues, “But in terms of the worst vibes I got, like, uhh… how scared it made me feel, it was definitely Ethan.”

Blood drains from your face and extremities, leaving you cold and dizzy.

“I—I thought—wait, really?”

He squints up at the ceiling, like he’s re-evaluating his statement, then levels his eyes with yours with a nod, “Yeah. At first, at least. Like the first night I was there, I felt him and it was,” he furrows his brow and drops his gaze to the floor, “Dark. Really fucking dark. And I was already in a bad way, y’know, I went to your place straight from the airport and you were—”

“A fucking disaster?”

“A beautiful trainwreck,” he corrects with a persuasive smile. It falters as soon as he continues, “And I just had this big fight with Annie about the divorce and, uhh, stuff, and hadn’t used blow in a day or two, just… not great,” he swallows, then shakes his head, “I think maybe… he could sense that about me. It was a warning. I remember knowing that’s what it was.”

“Oh,” you breathe. Look down at your hands. Start picking at your cuticles.

“It was hard to stay. So… I left.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad. I’m sorry. I mean, he told me that he liked you—”

“It got better, really, love. It’s fine,” he assures you, then frowns, “Wait, he told you he likes me? Did you ask him about me or something?”

“Well, yeah,” you drop your gaze to the floor, “I just wanted to—I don’t know, see if he approved, I guess.”

His head jerks back and he blinks, “Oh.”

“Yeah—he, um, told me that he always liked you,” you tilt your head at your dangling legs and chuckle, “Told me you were a triangle guy.”

Dieter lets out a light puff of laughter.

“He asked if you make me happy,” you tell him, so quiet it’s almost a whisper, then look up to study his reaction.

He pulls his paintbrush from the canvas and stares at you, his eyes soft and searching, “And?”

—————

This is such a dialogue-heavy chapter. Like… soooooooooooooooo much conversation. Which, as someone who’s generally terrible at talking to other humans, has been a challenge lol. But I hope you’ll like it. Ok thank u happy Friday bb 🥰🖤✨

#Psychomanteum

[withbitterness]

if you’re hearing ARE YOU SATISFIED? by MARINA playing, you have to know SHERRI LOWE (SHE/HER; CISFEMALE) is near by! the THIRTY year old ACTRESS has been in denver for, like, SIX MONTHS. they’re known to be quite RUTHLESS, but being DRIVEN seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble CARLSON YOUNG. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those GOLD STARS, UNFINISHED CONVERSATIONS, SHARP TEETH vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the RIVER NORTH ART DISTRICT long enough!

timeline. | credits. | wanted plots. | relationships. | nav. | playlist | pinterest.

name: sherri lowe

birthday: november 2, 1992 (30, scorpio!)

birthplace: philadelphia, pennsylvania

current residence: river north art district, artist alley apartments

gender: cis woman // she/her

orientation: closeted bisexual

occupation: actress / broadway star (in the making)

vocal type: mezzo-soprano (vc: taylor louderman)

face: carlson young

alts: anya taylor-joy, samara weaving, anya chalotra, brianne howey, lily james

tw: foster care, drug addiction, abandonment, repressed sexuality

from the mun: hi guys! I go by jess, I'm 26, she/her, from the EST timezone, and I’m really excited to be here! I’ll post a plot call on discord later, but also wanted to state on here for those who might not be in the discord that if you’re up for plotting and wanna plot with my girl, feel free to give this a like and I’ll hit you up!

philadelphia (1992-2010).

born and raised in philly with an absentee father and a struggling addict of a mother. desperate, broke, and thoroughly addicted, at six, sherri’s mother put sherri in foster care. promises were made to return when wealth and sobriety were secured. they were not kept. 

relatively stable foster care placements moving forward. stayed with a successful yet young single woman til the age of 13, when she was placed back in the system after her foster mother got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity out of the country and took it. placed with middle aged couple after that til she graduated. they were nice. warm. enough.  

the trauma caked into her home life issues was never really dealt with by sherri. she found an outlet for it instead: theatre. she fell in love with movie musicals at an early age, but her love only grew when she started performing in stage productions. she eventually developed a goal: to be a star on broadway. and that goal became her driving factor.

deal with the trauma of having a problematic mother you loved give you up? nah, work your ass off to get the starring role in your school’s spring musical. deal with the fact that your second mother figure also left you behind instead of adopting you and taking you along with her on her travel opportunity? why do that when she had after school jobs to get done if she wanted to get anywhere after graduation! 

sherri hustled her way through life, focusing on her goal and her future career while everything else fell to the wayside. sure, she had friends and boyfriends and went to parties and the like, but that was always secondary to her main focus. theatre came first.

new york (2010-2022).

by the time graduation came around, sherri had landed a shitty nyc job, booked a shitty apartment in queens, and had bid her foster parents goodbye. sherri threw herself into her work, positive her raw talent, looks, and hustle would get her to her dream in no time.

that didn’t happen.

for the next decade, sherri found herself in a cycle of either being unemployed or only landing ensemble and supporting roles in off-off broadway, off-broadway, and broadway shows. (full run down listed in her timeline & credits!) to make it more insulting, it wasn’t a linear cycle. she could go from a supporting role in a broadway show to an ensemble position in an off-broadway one to being unemployed (on stage) for years! the unconditional attention that thrilled her when she was her hometown’s star and sure to get leads only provided to make her more jealous and desperate when faced with equal competition. a lead role on a proper broadway stage seemed to be more and more out of her grasp.

in 2021, though, she thought she had made a big break. a new revival of rodgers and hammerstein's cinderella was coming to broadway. and sherri - when auditioning for the role of ella - ended up getting cast as ella’s understudy along with cast as a swing for a stepsister. this was the closest she’d been to getting on broadway as a lead, and she nearly burst with excitement at her prospects. granted, getting understudy wasn’t choice, but sherri figured that she’d likely get the lead when the star’s limited contract was up, and she’d probably get to star a few times when the star got sick or needed vocal rest or what have you - she could be patient. she’d waited this long.

she never got promoted. the show only ran for a year, leaving sherri to watch this ONE star have the health of a fucking horse from the sidelines. sure, once a week on wednesdays she took the lead so the lead actress could get vocal rest, and she was put in for the stepsister role frequently enough, but thats shit compared to being a proper lead.

when the show closed, she returned to broadway unemployment (and a waitress lifestyle) once again, brewing in bitterness and also Sexual Angst because of an event that occurred between the lead and sherri at the show’s cast party (see wanted connection: The Cinderella Incident). sherri was on a bitter, biting warpath with everyone she came into contact with for the next month.

meanwhile, she went back to work at her usual waitress gig. when she was not working on stage or screen, she worked as a waitress at a fictional diner called Starlight, a fictionalized knock-off of Ellen’s Stardust, it paid well and she got to sing to audiences all day, so she dealt with the tackiness of it all. 

recent developments and colorado (2023—).

she found work again at the start of this year in a limited run of an off-off broadway play called “out of gas on lovers leap,” in which she played one of the two leads, myst. sherri was at a low. she loved the play and could relate to her character, but hated the step down it was for her in status. the show itself only ran for a month. 

at it while she was at this low that sherri received a peculiar job opportunity from her agent: a starring role in a new television show currently in development called Curtains! It's a children's television show that draws inspiration largely from The Fresh Beat Band, following a group of fictional Broadway hopefuls who teach kids social lessons through song and dance featuring a theater backdrop.

five years earlier, sherri would have turned the role down outright. hell, a year ago she would have. it's a humiliating proposal. but with minimal prospects and her 30th birthday just behind her, sherri ultimately decided to accept the offer, if nothing else than for the networking opportunities it could provide her.

which brings her to coloardo. the show shoots out of colorado at an independent studio. the job pays her well enough that she doesn't need to maintain a secondary job just yet. she lives in the artist alley apartments in the rino district. and every day she has to go to work and sing a child's tune, she wants to stab someone. she's fine.  

personality.

+ driven, daring, blunt, adventurous, passionate, independent, adaptable

- jaundiced, ruthless, desperate, selfish, competitive, vain, biting

stray inspirations.

aspirations: sharpay evans (hsm), tonya harding (i,tonya), robin scherbatsky (himym), rachel berry (glee).

insecurities: olivia mossbacher (the white lotus), lizzie saltzman (legacies), lauren cooper (faking it),  bonnie plunkett (mom).

sexuality: petra solano (jane the virgin), nina sayers (black swan) quinn fabray (glee).

common themes.

second choice. sherri has a thing about being second choice. think the attitudes of caroline forbes or (better) lizzie saltzman towards their counterparts of elena gilbert and hope mikaelson, but not as blatant or vocal about it. her insecurities stem from her mother, who massively fucked her over by raising her for six years before giving her away. it was a fatal blow to her image of her self worth and self esteem (”why wasn’t I enough?”), that was only exacerbated by her first foster mother also giving her up, as well as her constant failures at earning roles of rank in her career. this has also led her to develop a need for attention, probably one reason why stardom appealed to her so much.

repression. because of her lackings in her professional and familial life, she has controlled her romantic life with an iron fist, but like, a chill iron fist, because her social and romantic life has always been on the back burner. however, every development in her romantic life has been controlled. when her friends started getting boyfriends in middle school, she picked one up with ease. when they started having sex in high school, so did she. because she did not care about this arena in her life, she had no doubts or fears in navigating it. she found picking up the (to her, limited) nuances of men to be easy, and thus never stressed in this arena. her romantic life was easy. until it wasn’t. during her time in new york, sherri experienced something of a sexual awakening with a woman that scared her shitless at the absolute chaos it would bring down on her life (see: The Cinderella Incident WC). it's not internalized homophobia, but rather a severe fear of a loss of control. the circumstances around her sexual awakening have allowed her to write it off, and her own need for control and simplicity in one area of her life has enabled her to return to the status quo (re: heterosexuality), and not acknowledge this at all.

envy. generally, sherri appears quite confident. in reality, she is! at least, until she sees someone do something better than she does, or earn something she wanted, or have something she doesn’t but thinks she should have. then the envy kicks in. she can feel this envy towards people she considers below her in status or above her, and in both instances these feels are accompanied by acts of pettiness and feeling the need to prove herself. also, if possible, her trying to take said object of envy for herself. consider olivia in the white lotus, trying to steal kai away when she finds out paula is secretly hooking up with him. that’s sherri; she’d do that if given the opportunity. she’s the desperate sort, lowkey, and when coupled with her envy and the sinking sense of her own failures, she’s willing to do just about anything to further her career or prove (to herself?) that she can succeed somewhere.

obsessed artist. at a young age sherri set her sights on greatness through theatre and she has spent her life working towards this goal. it stands above all else. in her craft, she aims for excellence. she’s a workaholic. she’s career-oriented. she has and will continue to put work above all else, and in a way this is her detriment. socially, she has made no real connections because she was always willing to throw it away if an opportunity arises to better her career. additionally, it is relevant to note that comparatively, sherri is successful. compared to others trying to break it on broadway, sherri has made it. it took her a couple years, but once she started booking shows, she’s been booked and busy (sans two one year gaps of nothing, rip). she’s been on the broadway stage as a member of the principal cast, she’s starred and performed on a number of different stages of different rank. she has played opposite of big names, is mutuals with them on social media - even now, she’s set to lead a new children's television show. other people in her position would be happy with the success they’ve had. but to sherri, it’s all a failure. her goal is to star in a broadway musical as the lead, and until that happens, all her other work is moot. 

wanted plots. 

sherri has lived in colorado for 6 month and in nyc for the last 12 years! I have both a wanted connections tag and a page (that I poured a lot of energy into so pls give it a look 😅 👉👈), and I'm open to any and all connections for her! wanted plots page. & wanted tag.

timeline. | credits. | relationships. | playlist | pinterest. |  nav.

#chq;intro #★ — development. #okay finished my wanted page so I can post this now #plot call coming to the discord soon! <3

[girlreviews]

Review #365: Madvillainy, Madvillain

This is such an interesting, unique record. Madvillain is (was) comprised of Madlib and MF DOOM, and it’s their only studio album. 22 songs, most of them under three minutes and none feature any kind of traditional structure like choruses or hooks. Despite this it’s cemented itself as not only one of the greatest hip hop records of all time, but also albums of all time in general. I feel like maybe it was lightning in a bottle for this one – although both artists have an incredible and respectable discography on their own.

The story of this record is just as interesting and unique. Madlib and MF DOOM had been collaborating on it for a few years, with DOOM responsible for the lyrics and flows, and Madlib responsible for the beats and production. Seems like it was a match made in heaven, really. MF DOOM is sort of unmatched in his word skills. Seriously though, there’s really plenty of write ups and deconstruction of his style and remarkable abilities, and the guy was absolutely out of this world good at what he did. I’m not particularly well versed in the ins and outs of creating good hip-hop or rap, but I do know that anyone making use of so many different literary devices in their music is some kind of genius. It kind of blows your mind to untangle it all, because it’s hard to comprehend someone being just that talented, but also that clever. If you’re a lover of words and language in general, then you will enjoy a lifelong love with MF DOOM. Or rather, you can, if you look in alternative spaces for exceptional wordsmithing.

Madlib has a really unique and specific sound incorporating really obscure samples from really jazz and soul, which at the time was sort of different, but I imagine is less unexpected now, since Madvillainy set the tone for future music. He also pulled from Indian and Brazilian music. Honestly, just as above, you could spend your entire life poring over all of the details, sounds, and samples and you’d never get bored and never cease to learn. Isn’t that fucking spectacular? That these two particularly unique and gifted artists created a single record together that can provide a lifetime of learning and admiration? And that it almost didn’t happen: just over a year before its release, a demo version of the record was leaked publicly and the duo were so disillusioned from the experience that they stopped working on it for some time. Thankfully, they eventually resumed and released it and now there’s life before Madvillainy, and life after it. I wonder if they knew what they had created before they released it. That public leaking of unfinished work is always such a devastating situation for any artist.

I had been introduced to this album in 2013 when several tracks showed up on various playlists made for me by others. One of them also featured Jai Paul’s BTSTU. His debut album suffered the same fate as Madvillainy, and his promising career was seriously derailed. He remains a bit of an enigma to this day, although he is actually playing live shows in 2024, and I’m excited to be going to one of them. I don’t know, it’s always a really strange thing to happen to a record and sometimes it cements its legendary status and sometimes it destroys the creator.

They created it quite separately and with very little communication. Madlib recorded the majority of the beats and music in Brazil on a cassette tape, sent it to MF DOOM who then added his lyrics. They collaborated without really collaborating and it stands out a lot throughout: MF DOOM was in tune to the sound and incorporated it into his words – take Accordian. The accordian sound on loop throughout comes from Experience by Daedelus. But the final line in the song DOOM makes mention of it:

“Your first and last step playing you like an accordian”

It's simple when you consider it, but that they put this together without actually discussing it and just providing their own individual contributions and vibing off of one another makes it that much more unbelievable that this record was the result. They themselves described the process of creating these songs as “telepathic”, without “a lot of talking”. Two artists with a one-time joint creative mind. I don’t know, I find it hard to put into words just how bananas this all is when you listen to it.

Something that I find fascinating about Madvillainy is the way in which both Madlib and MF Doom incorporated their alias persona’s into it. There are song credits that feature MF DOOM and Viktor Vaughn – the same person delivering the words – but towards each other and from differing perspectives. It’s sort of mind-boggling how this was done: Madlib gets into it with his own alter-ego, Quasimoto on America’s Most Blunted, and DOOM creates a weird love triangle between himself, his girlfriend, and Viktor Vaughn in Fancy Clown. Why? What was the point? Well, why not? And didn’t it produce one of the greatest records of all time? Maybe more artists should get this creative and ridiculous with their work. Pitchfork called Fancy Clown “a brilliant concept” and hailed it as “hip-hop’s first schizophrenic self-diss track”. Think about what they’re really saying there. It’s really, really, very cool.

To be able to give my normal descriptions of what it sounds or feels like, I’d have to listen to it another 100,000 times at least. I find it so dense and overwhelming – in the best way – but there’s nothing to do here but to listen to it. No amount of description from me or any other person reviewing it will adequately convey the magic of it. It’s just really that fucking good. Overlook it at your own expense. Enjoy.

#album review #music #music review #rolling stone top 500 #MF DOOM #madlib #madvillain #madvillainy

[saintarmand]

2 iwtv songs for your consideration

blame by denai moore should be on everyone's loustat playlist. or just any toxic relationship playlist lbr

full lyrics under the cut but here's the gist:

Blame it on love, what else could it be? Causing all this misery Blame it on love, so easy to do No one does it more than you

And you make my heart break when you take and you take Take from it Yes, you take all my love, all my love And make hate, hate from it

There's a place in my heart That's got your name on it, on it Sitting there like a scar Forever engraved on it

another denai moore song for iwtv playlists: no light. 1132 rue royale AND dubai penthouse vibes! louis in a sad house with no light. you get it

i've started making videos for both songs but they've been sitting unfinished for many months... if anyone has or wants to make iwtv vids for these please link me i would love to see it! i might post my own too eventually. maybe.

lyrics for both songs below bc different lyrics sites have different ones for no light... i think these are the most correct ones but idek

BLAME by Denai Moore

Blame it on love, what else could it be? Causing all this misery Blame it on love, so easy to do No one does it more than you

And you make my heart break when you take and you take Take from it Yes, you take all my love, all my love And make hate, hate from it

There's a place in my heart That's got your name on it, on it Sitting there like a scar Forever engraved on it

Blame it on us, too young to know That memories stay when lovers go Blame it on lust, too easy for you No one does it like you do

And you make my heart break when you take and you take Take from it Yes, you take all my love, all my love And make hate, hate from it

There's a place in my heart That's got your name on it, on it Sitting there like a scar Forever engraved on it

Blame it on love Blame it on love Blame it on love Blame it on love

Blame it on love, what else could it be? Causing all this misery Blame it on love, so easy to do No one does it more than you

There's a place in my heart That's got your name on it, on it Sitting there like a scar Forever engraved on it

NO LIGHT by Denai Moore

It was all pretend I mean let's just try No space between these walls No space for me at all

There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here

Built a world of glass Filled it with cement No carpet on this floor No carpet on this floor

There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here

I've been searching for a sea of Frozen faces Thought I'd found something but I Just couldn't take it

There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here There's no light here

#iwtv #loustat #s #denai moore #music #louis #Youtube #interview with the vampire #vampterview #vampterviewing

[aeriedwelling]

hi hello. Lilith Adelaide Character Playlist (on spotify). all the songs and why I put them on there under the cut

Bitter Water by The Oh Hellos - this is a good ol’ growing up montage okay it’s about two little boys growing up as a prince and a squire then splitting off and growing up and meeting again as a Queen and a Lady Knight and falling in love all over again

For The Dancing And The Dreaming from HTTYD 2 - now that Queen and Lady Knight are getting married!!! love wins!!!!

Constellations by The Oh Hellos - okokok this song is about preparing for war. Lily (champion knight) is riding off the high of being proposed to and thinks she can take down the entire army single handed and Hilda (queen) is worry worry worrying

Oblivion by Bastille - this one. I am holding gently. this is the only song on the playlist that is Hilda’s pov rather than Lilith’s. This is when Hilda puts her in eternal sleep.

Once Upon A Dream by Invadable Harmony - this is when Lilith sleeps for hundreds of years :)

Like The Dawn by The Oh Hellos - this is when Lily wakes up, alone, in a glass coffin in the ruins of Lyonesse

Where is Your Rider by The Oh Hellos - she’s bitter!! and terrified!! and just realized she’s been asleep for hundreds of years!! this is her exploring the ruins of Lyonesse and piecing together what happened. she finds a wild horse and we jump right into

Second Child, Restless Child by The Oh Hellos - girlie is RUNNING!! riding a horse completely bare back and terrified out of her mind she is just getting as far from Lyonesse as she possibly can

Dear Fellow Traveler by Sea Wolf - travel montage!! she is dissociating. she is learning how the world works hundreds of years later. she is squashing down the urges to go back to Lyonesse. this is when she hears whispers of Caduceus, of necromancy, and she wonders if she can get some answers.

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City - feels kinda awkward right here but I didn’t know where else to put it lol. lesbians <3 lily missing hilda despite everything

Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos - mostly just here for vibes idk. her arriving to Caduceus? she’s the soldier and the poet and hilda’s her king

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives - oh THIS this is a confrontation. after funky necromancy magic - this is when Lily finally finally gets to talk to Hilda. why the eternal sleep?? why her??? they were supposed to- they were supposed to live and die and fight together. why why why. (Hilda says it’s because she loved her and wanted her to live. Lily doesn’t know if living without Hilda is worth anything)

Boreas by The Oh Hellos - processing grief and heartache and betrayal and everything else after the confrontation. she was- she was her champion knight. she was meant to lead the battle. now here she is, centuries later, and she’s nothing.

What Will You Leave Behind from Spiritfarer - healing. learning how to live with the grief.

A Journey (A Dream Of Flight) by Joe Hisaishi + Looking up at Trees by Julie Hanney - acceptance, maybe. despite everything it’s still you.

This playlist is unfinished! gonna add some more actually like being on caduceus type songs. the story might slingshot her into becoming crazed with necromancy power instead of just weepy acceptance. we’ll see :3

#I realize none of you know what’s going on but #AUTISM MOMENT #love my girlie #luc monologues #caduceus smp #cad smp #lilith adelaide #lily #< oc tag #this is bare bones. feel free to ask me about her!! am attempting to write things lol

[snkirschtein]

AOT Playlists

This is the final post of the aot playlists I had in my archive. Unfortunately, the other characters weren’t fully fleshed out, so I will not include them.

Marco Bodt, Sasha Braus, Historia Reiss, Bertolt Hoover.

Marco:

Down In A Cold, Dirty Well - Justin Nozuka [This song always reminds me of Marco. Mostly his death, unfortunately. ‘Dig me my grave, I won’t be saved’ and ‘The louder I yell, the deeper I sink’ both could fit to when Reiner, Bertolt and Annie refused talking and took his gear, leaving him defenseless.]

Still Feel - Half Alive [Not to be that bitch, but HALF alive. Dare I say more. Marco still has a huge impact on the story, at least for Jean’s character. I felt this song was representative of that, along with Marco’s death feeling unfinished, or without closure, since it was during an exposure of the warriors. Even though the song means it metaphorically, it felt appropriate. Imagine Marco singing this. Good content.]

Remember Me - Anadel [Back with another song talking about Jean and Marco, but this time with Annie and Reiner, who I'd argue are also haunted by Marco's death almost as much as Jean. The others have mourned and moved on, but Jean still thinks about Marco even after all these years, and I will YELL FOREVER ABOUT IT. 'Memories of darkness obstruct your view in the light' feels like a nod to the way the warriors and Jean both remember his death often, from whatever their perspective was. And in all their cases, I think it's easy for them to get trapped in either the regret of what happened or the regret of not being there, along with the hopelessness of the war. 'So remember me, write my name on a stone but don't let me hold you back from it all' feels like Marco's words to Jean, but also to the warriors. Marco isn't the type to hold a grudge, or at least he never made himself out to be. Even in the last moment where he was being betrayed, he asked for them to talk. I can't imagine Marco would've felt different than the 104th when they were faced with the traitorous acts, since he also grew up with them in the past few years. It wasn't personal, Marco was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. 'Don't pretend you're in this alone' fits to either side of the war. No matter what, everyone's got someone. Reiner and Annie have one another to regret and mourn, Jean has the 104th.]

Sasha:

Eet - Regina Spektor [No, not eat. This is a little thing, but I couldn’t help but include this song. It holds a likeliness to Sasha leaving behind her old ways of living, hunting and living off the land with her family and closest neighbors. ‘It’s like forgetting the words to your favorite song, you can’t believe it, you were always singing along’. Sasha didn’t want to let go of her traditions. ‘You’re using your headphones to drown out your mind’ can stretch to say that Sasha’s 'headphones' were essentially joining the military. Leaving behind the changes, her accent, her village, her family and her way of life. We don’t have a solid reason as to what Sasha joined the military was for, so maybe the fact that she didn’t want to accept the change at home so she left isn’t such a far fetched idea?]

Marchin On - OneRepublic [This song best reminds me of Sasha mostly in the way she's remained the same goofball, unchanged throughout the series. She's mostly got a happy vibe about her, optimistic, even when things are bleak. She's the character that I think has shown the least hurt, despite how much there is on the inside. Maybe I'm wrong, I'm open to opinion, but I still argue this song fits her. 'There's so many wars we fought, there's so many things we're not, but with what we have, I promise you that we're marchin' on'. Like I said, I think Sasha's the only character I've noticed that doesn't let everything take her hope and happiness. The horrible things she and her friends have done and seen, even 'til the end, she's stayed the same person. Very strong. 'We're not what we've seen'. But, of course Sasha's had her moments! As everyone has and will, which is in the line 'We'll have the days we break and we'll have the scars to prove it, we'll have the bombs that we save, but we'll have the heart not to lose it'.]

Daddy Lessons - Beyoncé, The Chicks [It would be a disservice to Sasha to not include this song, I simply had to. To start us off, 'Daddy made a soldier out of me' which could be compared in a literal and not so literal sense. He taught her to hunt, which definitely helped, but she made herself the soldier. The whole song is about a father who taught his daughter to be strong and tough all on her own, while also having a sense of family and compassion. I just love this song for Sasha, especially with her accent and hunting lifestyle that she tried to hide.]

Historia:

Warrior - AURORA [’I cry for the world, for everyone’ while Historia was acting as Krista, she played herself to be some sort of martyr. Once she revealed herself as Historia, she stopped acting as though nothing bothered her and started living for herself, she became a freer person, as can be compared to in the line ‘I can't recall last time I opened my eyes to see the world as beautiful’.]

Bertolt:

Running Up That Hill - Placebo [I really enjoy this song for Bertolt, even though I can't link many of the lyrics back to him very well. I feel like it's him talking to Armin, or really, any outsider to a Marleyan warrior. They don't understand what he's going through, what he has to do. I say Armin because Armin now shares a special bond with Bertolt that others don't, and that's the Colossal Titan. For the chorus, I feel like Bertolt would want to bargain that way, in order for them to understand why he has to do what he has to. 'Tell me, we both matter, don't we?']

#bertolt hoover #historia reiss #sasha blouse #marco bodt #snk #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

[fictionkinfessions]

hi I can’t sleep, it’s like 5:30 am, so I’m going to instead thinking about Michael and give those thoughts

details that in the big picture don’t matter but I still think about:

- he’s a red, obviously. But specifically like a deep cherry, dark and shiny and maybe a bit bitter but definitely red

- how he’d kick his legs just slightly when sitting on the edge of something. Nothing to obviously but just enough that I could hear a gentle thud if we were sitting on the edge of that little wall by the high school and his shoe hit the bricks

- the cassette player in his car that he insisted was the best way to listen to music and part of why he refused for so long to get Bluetooth headphones.

- the little cassette attachment that let you plug your phone in and play music in his car. I liked picking some playlist and putting it to shuffle and having one song that doesn’t pass the vibe in there just to throw a little spice

- sitting in his basement was always nice. Most of it was finished, just the bathroom had unfinished walls of exposed concrete and I remember a number of times if I needed to just. Reset my Brain, id go into the bathroom and sit against the cool, scratchy concrete as I just took a moment

- I don’t remember the name of his body wash but I remember how it smelled and it was always nice and I know I used it a good couple times + smelled it faintly off him when he came out of the shower. It was a fitting scent for him.

- he had a plasma ball in his room. As well as a lava lamp. I remember thinking both were so cool and awesome when we were young. The plasma ball eventually moved to the basement but then so did the rest of his room, I think. Except I don’t think I ever saw the lava lamp down there, I think it got lost when stuff got moved around.

- he had a cork board with a bunch of memorabilia and pictures tacked up once his room was the basement. I liked looking at it because it had stuff I’d forgotten about and it was nice overall

that’s all I got for now, imma try to go to sleep again

- Jeremy heere

'

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #jeremyheerekin #bemorechillkin #cars cw #mod party cat

[midnighterapollo]

Music Game

Thank you for the tag @foreverralways and @yikes-00!! I honestly forgot to do it the first time around due to scheduling but I didn’t want to leave it unfinished so two in one.

rules: shuffle your "on repeat" playlist from spotify (or the music service of your choice) and post the first 10 tracks

1. It’s a vibe type song and it usually, USUALLY plays at the best of times when I need to hear it.

2. Maybe like my 4th(?) repeatedly listened to song from the album itself. Still enjoy it tho.

3. More so for the vocals.

4. Another song that’s just there whenever I skip I still enjoy it tho mostly for the ending.

5. I listened to this song twice, it’s ok but not smth I’ll listen to on repeat.

6. I adore this song but it’s not smth I repeatedly want to listen to. It’s more of a “mood” type of song.

7. It kept playing wen my playlists “ran out” of songs to play took me a while to realise its not apart of my playlist so I added it once I realised. Hardly listen to it tho but it’s a good song.

8. I solely like this song for his voice that’s it. The man’s voice owns my soul.

9. This song is my hyper fixations song I’ll listen to it to death until I move onto another song(s) once I’m done with it, but that doesn’t seem like anytime soon. But for now it’s my love and it’s my go to song to feel.

10. Look, look I actually didn’t mean to intentionally listen to this song constantly. It just kept popping up on my playlist whenever I wanted to listen to smth else. Not that I don’t like the song just didn’t expect it.

No pressure tags: @jakeseresins @scottishaccentsareawesome @sherlocking-out-loud @highwaytothedangerzone502 @okaybutlikemakeitgay

#tagging game #music #spotify

[yerbamansa]

My OFMD fic list

Series:

how the west was won and where it got us (a.k.a. the revenge ranch) - ongoing modern AU set at a horse ranch/B&B in rural New Mexico with mostly the whole crew; mainly switching between Oluwande and Jim POV with one-offs for other folks in between. Slice of life stuff, some hurt/comfort, some fluff, one soft smutty story. 19 entries and counting, >130k words(!)

Kitchen Mistakes & How To Avoid Them - 14 chapters/87k words, also known as the "test kitchen AU." Ed/Stede enemies-ish-to-lovers focus with several other pairs/trios featuring. M rated for a little spice. Main work complete as of April 3, 2023. Now a series with one-shots!

We're Gonna Live In The Trees - modern AU in which Stede's a custom treehouse builder in a failing marriage and Ed's a new client who makes him surprisingly flustered. The closest I've gotten to a nice, cozy romance with minimal angst (like, there's SOME angst). 6 chapters, 35k words, complete as of June 16, 2023. There's also a podfic (linked in the notes)! Sequel Rock On To The Oceanside started July 25!

One-shots/single multichapter fics:

the secret middle-aged sad-sack mostly bad vibes I can sing along to playlist - ongoing wip with daily-ish short updates, modern au in which stede gets all my problems, slow fucking burn, baby, rated M. actual playlists and a podfic linked in notes. 60k as of 4/18 and on hiatus.

Gutterballs For Days - The Big Lebowski AU with a twist. Collaboration with art! 4 chapters starting 4/20/24 (natch)

the way things are going - tealoranges t4t climate apocalypse story extremely loosely inspired by parable of the sower. Complete at 50k words/9 chapters as of March 14, 2024.

all that i need is you and the sea - the accidental time travel amnesiac five-part Stede/Ed love story I somehow cranked out over five days. Starts in a post-apocalyptic future and goes way, way back.

an atypical emotional response to common sounds - 6.6k oneshot i dubbed "the misophonia fic." Also my first (maybe only) foray into writing Stede/Ed smut. Also a T-rated sequel due to a controllable irregularity (5k)

Welcome to Jeff’s Inn by the Sea | Innkeeper Roleplay ASMR | Personal Attention | Realistic | Soft Spoken Male Voice - 4.2k, rated M, Ed/Stede idiots in love/accidental sex tape (fade to black)

Plus Ones - office party mutual pining (Ed/Stede)/fake dating (Stede & Archie) shenanigans, rated T, 3k words.

I Think I See The Light - 5.6k oneshot attempt to merge a very canon-divergent Jim/Oluwande love story and Jim's vengeance plot with Harold & Maude.

Stede has started shopping for your order - 2.2k oneshot for the prompt "gig worker." A sweet lil' cupcake from me to u.

in a time trap - not exactly a fix-it time loop one-shot, starting from where Chauncey wakes Stede up with a gun in his face.

heading vaguely eastward - the first (and maybe only) Mary/Jim fic on AO3. Nudged myself into an Explicit rating here. One-shot modern AU with flirting, banter, etc.

let's pretend we're bunny rabbits - short one-shot in which Ed and Stede are literally pet rabbits (Izzy's and Lucius's, respectively).

a silver vision convalesced my soul - one-shot based on a prompt for guardian angel AU, hurt/comfort, and the sentence "do you really believe that?" featuring Jim and Oluwande.

science tells us - unfinished/WIP using "science" myths to inspire scenes in between canon bits. Might never finish this one.

SMAUs:

Public Relations (@OFMDPublicRel) - collaborative effort Ed/Stede celebrity AU. Started posting Aug. 4, 2023.

Ask Me Anything: A TealOranges SMAU (@askmeanythingofmd) - collaboration with thetragicallynerdy. Correspondence across time and death via Tumblr asks. Rated E for sex and violence, 56k words, complete as of July 4, 2023!

Disruptors (@disruptorsOFMD) - a modern AU/social media AU told over a series of tweets. In this, Ed is a tech CEO and Stede is a small business owner in Silicon Valley. Complete on Sept. 15, 2022.

Fic of a fic:

be sweet to me, baby for hoshiforever (perfect little houses smau)

still sometimes i feel for faeeebaeee (pina coladas smau)

Not [originally] on AO3:

oceanographer's choice (frenchie/oluwande fastfic one-shot based on a random au prompt)

AITA for trying to stop my boss from ruining his life? (izzy hands fake reddit post w/ comments)

#my writing #ofmd fanfic #pinned post

[m0on-boys]

Marc's Playlist Lyrics:

• Stuck With Me: Now I'm feeling guilty for it, didn't wanna leave...realised I'm less important, than I thought I'd be

• I Exist I Exist I Exist: Ignoring the voices and feelings that tell me to get out of this house, I can't make them stop, I'm just like my mom, and you said "No, these demons will fall, you're so precious to us all"

• Remember When: Thought I saw your shadow under the door, just a trick of the light I've seen before, I can never tell what's real anymore

• Amsterdam: So I hit my head up against the wall, over and over and over and over again, and again 'cause I don't wanna be like them

• Look What You've Done: Oh, don't you know I'm so bad at feeling thus type of way, 'cause baby I'm too good at always being lonely...but I've been sleeping wide awake, babe, praying you'll be the first to not hurt me

• I See You:  I see you when you run from the light within your eyes, I see you when you think that I don't notice all those scars...even when you lie and even when you hide you mean everything to me

• Walking Disaster: Mom and Dad both in denial, and only child to take the blame...at the dead end I begin to burn the bridge of innocence...I pledge allegiance to a world of disbelief where I belong...you regret you made me, it's too late to save me

• That Unwanted Animal: It rattles the bones of our fathers, carries whispers from the dead...you try so loud to love me I cannot seem to hear...'cause if we join in prayers enough to God (khonshu) I imagine it all starts to sound like applause...hold the hand of the god-child, they said, as he falls from the sky

• The Woods: This js not where your supposed to be, if the roots get hold of your heart they'll never set you free...(I just feel like the struggle followed by free me and I am lost and I am scared is very much steven/marc identity struggles vibes)

• Constant Headache: I heard you coming so I hid by the couch, you were talking so loudly, I don't what about...I'm a constant headache, a tooth out of line...you hang me up, unfinished, with the better part of me no longer mine...your love was foreign to me, it made me think maybe human is not such a bad thing to be

• Native Tongue: I'm a sentimental dog who comes around but don't belong...to be fair we don't share much, except the air inside our lungs

• Giver: I called my brother, yelling out, I fell in love and then fell out, and I don't know if I can take the hit

• August: We don't talk about it, we don't have the time, we thought love was something we weren't meant to find

• I Hate That You're Happy: And I didn't hold tight enough, but I found it hard to keep myself whole, while drowning in my bitter blood

• Motion Sickness: I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid

• Wildflower Wildfire: Here's the deal my father never stepped in when his wife would rage at me...later than hospitals and still on my feet, comfortably numb but with lithium came poetry

#moon knight #marc spector #marvel #moonknight #music #playlist #🌙

[chemicaljacketslut]

okay it’s short and unfinished but has good songs and is so so full of love: MY EDDIE PLAYLIST.

idk why it took me so long to make one i think maybe bc my music taste is very different from his character’s vibes + i wasn’t sure i could sum him up into a playlist but i finally attempted it. go listen if u wish it has songs that make me want to cry and throw up (in a good way)

#some of my choir kid nerd-ness seeped into there sorry (not sorry it’s fucking great music) #eddie kaspbrak #i love him so much #Spotify