#maybe not as patiently as he should but still willing to run quests with them or gift them items he has too many of

[startanewdream]

The other talk

Summary: Ginny’s happy moment with Harry turns awkward when his mother catches them. (A prequel/sequel to The Talk 2.0)

For @Jilyjilyjily and @prettyflores  that requested this moment, and for @madhulika18 that wanted more Jily views of Harry and Ginny after the war. Hope you enjoy :)

Warning for mild very soft smut, so it’s rated M.

Read on AO3 or below the cut:

_____________

When Ginny was six, she broke out in her family’s broom shed, chose a random broom and though she had never done it before, she took flight. She fell ten seconds later, almost breaking her arm, but it didn’t matter. Those ten seconds in the air had been the happiest of her life until then; she had felt free, exhilarated, somewhat powerful. She could fly, despite what her brothers teased her about.

She’d thought that nothing would make her feel happier, but then Harry had kissed her and Ginny had updated her lists of favourite things in the world. 

Harry made her feel exhilarated and powerful and like she could do anything, even when they were closed together, his arms around her in a way that Ginny couldn’t escape easily if she tried to. She supposed she should feel claustrophobic, without air, but there was only freedom in kissing Harry - freedom and that warmth inside her, the blood pumping furiously in her veins and the shivers through her body as Harry’s lips moved from her mouth to her neck, sucking the skin there just as he knew she liked.

A part of her felt marvelled at the fact that he still remembered, even though it was one year since the golden sunlit days of the first part of their relationship, when they’d enjoy any free time they had on empty classrooms, isolated places on the grounds, or, even once, on a broom cupboard.

Maybe, just like her, Harry could not stop thinking about their time together even when he was off on that quest of his.

A moan escaped her lips and Harry laughed lowly - Ginny could feel the laugh on her skin just by the change of his breath and she had a mind of calling him a prat, but then he moved to the place just below her ear and all thoughts were gone, replaced by her need to stretch her neck and give him more space.

Sooner than she would like, his lips were looking for hers and Ginny returned his kiss, letting her hands roam freely through his chest, scraping at the edge of his shirt until she lifted it as much as she could, feeling his naked torso, the soft hair on his chest. Harry attended her silent request, stopping the kiss just so he could take out his shirt entirely.

Ginny had seen this chest before, but she felt she could never really get used to that new scar over his heart; her eyes met Harry’s - he looked apprehensive, as always, so she pulled him back to her, kissing him with as much energy as she could, her hands dancing around his torso, willing him to understand she didn’t care about his new scar anymore than for the others he had - just like she never cared for the one on his forehead.

When they were snogging like that, she wanted him to feel only like a normal guy kissing his normal girlfriend on the normal bed of his room.

‘This looks a bit unfair’, he whispered against her lips.

‘Hmmm?’

‘I have one less piece of cloth’.

She giggled, stopping the kiss to lay on the bed, while Harry moved just a little away, taking in the sight of her. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, so Ginny thought his vision was suffering, but his eyes sparkled, much greener than usual. Ginny watched him back, admiring the way his lips were swollen from kissing her, his skin darker and flushed.

'I can't help if I am smarter', she teased. 'It's only up to you how much cloth I wear'.

There was a flash of desire on his eyes, but Harry's hands were careful as he rolled to her side, looking very patient as he started to open the buttons of the shirt Ginny had carefully chosen that day for that effect. His eyes didn't really leave her face until he finished open her shirt and she took it off.

And then his eyes fell to her chest and they shone darker still.

Ginny felt her heart beating faster than ever. It was not the first time he'd seen her like that - thanks to a combination of Invisibility Cloak, late night trip and an open classroom in the third floor of Hogwarts -, but ever since then had been scars from her year at Hogwarts and still some faded marks from the battle. Despite knowing how he felt for her, there was always this nervousness as Harry contemplated her body - too many what-ifs and insecurities and -

'Merlin, you are beautiful', he whispered, his voice shaking with evident want and Ginny felt the seeds of doubt being pushed to the farthest place of her mind.

She bit her lips, giving him a lopsided smile, and took her hands away from Harry's body enough to take out her bra.

She heard his sharp intake of breath and felt her own desire raising even more as she saw Harry admiring her naked chest, his eyes burning brightly as he contemplated her breasts.

'Ginny, you -', but he was obviously at loss for words. 

She put her hands around his neck, burying them on his dark hair, and Harry obliged her request once more, lowering his head and kissing the top of her breast, softly, as if tasting her. She arched her back, breathing heavily, until her breath caught as he rolled his tongue over her nipple.

'Do it again', she asked, her hands grasping his hair, and now Harry placed his mouth all over her nipple, sucking it lightly, and Ginny didn't mind moaning this time.

But she needed more.

She put her hands over his chest, stopping him, and Harry let out a cry of despair when he broke away. She ignored it, concentrating on changing places with him. Harry grinned when he understood what she meant, sitting on the bed and helping to place her on his lap, his hand just above the curve of her arse, holding her.

Ginny suddenly wished she was wearing a skirt instead of her jeans.

She kissed him on the lips once more, enjoying that sweet intoxicating taste that was so Harry, but it was not enough - and Harry seemed to think the same, because he broke away first, lowering his head once more in search of her breast while he raised a free hand to touch her other. 

And then she moved on his lap, enjoying the friction of the jeans, until she felt Harry. It was not the first time she'd felt him hard during their snogging sessions - but that had been at Hogwarts, and not on his bed in his empty house.

That thought sent a wave of adrenaline through her, filling her with ideas. Her heart beat impossibly quicker and Ginny felt like that time she first took flight - slightly afraid and close to something that knew it could be really good if only she tried to.

Her hands were trembling, but she took them out of his neck to lower them to his waistband, opening the button of his jeans.

'Gin…', it was a warning and a challenge and a pleading.

She could ignore the first one and fully accepted the other two. Harry let out a moan, loud and painful and full of pleasure, as she traced him, even though it was over his trousers and she had a mind of somewhat returning the pleasure he was making her feel…

'Hey!'

It was the instinct of always running when her mother cried like that that made Ginny jump and break away from Harry, her hands automatically grabbing the first cloth she found - his shirt - to cover herself.

But when she turned around, it wasn't her mother. Of course not, they weren't in her house.

It was Lily Potter, her green eyes as dark as Ginny had seen on Harry before, though she would never mistake the fury on Lily's face now.

'What do you think you are doing?'

'I -'

Ginny was usually very good at thinking under stress, but there were no words for her now.

At her side, Harry looked from her to his mother with a frown.

'What does it look?', he asked, sounding annoyed.

'Like someone lied to me about spending the day studying at home', Lily replied, equally upset.

'Mum - you knew Ginny was coming'.

'For dinner, you said. If that's what you are doing alone on the house -'

'I am in my bedroom!'

'Which is still in my house, in case you haven't noticed'.

'Lily', Ginny called, trying for her nicest voice, though it didn't seem to help. Lily turned to her without any shadow of a smile. 'I - we are so sorry, we just lost the notion of… of time'.

'No, we are not sorry', Harry disagreed, and Ginny fought back a grimace. He wasn't helping. 'We were doing nothing wrong, the door was closed and if I could have any privacy at all -'

'You can choose your own privacy when you have your place', replied Lily, her words hissed. 'And right now, I expect you downstairs to start dinner. And -'

'I am not a child - you can't really -'

'I expect you to be wearing your clothes when you leave this room', Lily cut him, making him flush, and she turned in her heels to leave the room, making sure the door was left ajar.

Ginny let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and, making sure there was no way she could have been seen, she returned Harry's shirt, taking her own things. Harry was crossing his arms, looking annoyed, and he just blinked when Ginny raised and offered him her hand.

'Harry?'

'What are you doing?'

'Going downstairs to start dinner?'

He pressed his lips.

'You don't have to - she can't just tell us what to do like if we are kids -'

'She is your mum', Ginny said calmly. 'She gets to tell you what to do'.

'I am not a child she can just ground - I’m an adult now -'

‘Well, I’m not’, Ginny noted, her voice teasing, but Harry didn’t smile.

‘She is not your mother’.

No, Ginny thought, she is just the mother of my boyfriend. Much worse.

'Come on, Harry. Let’s not make this worse, please?’

Harry was still grimacing, but he took her hand. Ginny raised her eyebrows at him when he ignored the shirt she had returned to him, going chest-naked to the kitchen, and Ginny could not question his intentions when Lily entered the kitchen too and saw him like that.

Her lips were pressed thin, in a line that would make Professor McGonagall very proud, Ginny thought.

But despite her obvious annoyance, there was a hard decided look on Lily's face, and Ginny knew she would talk to Harry later - considering what she had caught them doing (or almost doing), Ginny had a fair idea of what it would be discussed and she was pretty sure she didn't want to be part of it.

She could never look Lily and James on the face again if she had to endure them giving them a sex talk.

'I will be going', she said quickly, just as they finished putting the pie in the oven.

'No', Harry's angry expression broke into a pout. 'Don't go, we will watch some movie or - I am sorry for how we broke off things -'

'Hey, it's ok', she assured him, not daring to hug him in the eyesight of Lily. 'I will see you tomorrow'.

There was a loud cough and Ginny blushed just as Harry frowned at his mother once again.

'During the family lunch', she added loudly. 'With everyone. Not hidden. Fully clothed'.

Harry didn't seem to rejoice in this fact much.

'Is that supposed to make me feel better?', he replied, and there was another cough from the door of the kitchen, where Lily was casually leaning, her face sober.

Ginny sighed. These two were too stubborn to their own good sometimes.

'See you later', she said, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on his cheek; but Harry turned his face, his lips capturing hers rather hungrily, in a way that would have let Ginny dizzy if she didn't know he was doing it just to upset his mother. She broke away, shaking her head at him. 'You are mean, Potter', she whispered, entering the fireplace and letting herself vanish in the middle of green flames.

_____________

There were a lot of things Ginny meant to do, but being in the kitchen alone with Lily Potter was not one of them - at least not for a few days, until she was sure that story was well past them. She would even endure James and Sirius taking the mickey out of it, just so it was clear to everyone that being caught snogging Harry in his room was water under the bridge.

Well, not everyone. She would rather her parents - and brothers, for good measure - didn't know ever.

And Ginny couldn't help herself to be tense anytime she saw her parents talking to James and Lily, even though everyone seemed normal. Harry had been much happier when she saw him that afternoon, kissing her softly in the lips like nothing had happened the day before.

Ginny envied him in that.

'Could you take the treacle tart to the garden?', Lily asked her distractedly.

'Yes, Mrs. Potter', she answered without thinking, and Lily turned to her with an expression Ginny didn't wait to understand.

She took the treacle tart, but before she could leave the kitchen, Lily stopped in front of her. Ginny bit her lip, glancing briefly at Lily; she looked more concerned than upset, but Ginny couldn't be sure.

'Ginny', Lily started, her voice softer than the day before. 'I didn't mean to scare you yesterday'.

Ginny put the treacle tart back on the table, before turning to Lily, careful not to show any emotion.

'I wasn't'.

'You sort of run away, and Harry -'

'He thought it was your fault', Ginny guessed, half-amused with Harry's concern for her. 'No, I just figured that… maybe you needed to talk to Harry alone about... things'.

'You are smart, aren't you?'

'Clearly not enough', Ginny mumbled, not sure how to deal with Lily's apparently good mood. 'If we got caught -'

'Oh, I truly don't want you two to get caught again', Lily agreed, shuddering. 'But we… we talked to Harry. Set some rules just so nothing of sorts happens again'. 

Ginny nodded, somberly.

'And… well, I won't share this with your parents'.

There was a rather knowing tone on Lily's voice, and Ginny blinked at her, surprised.

'You won't?'

'I won't betray your secrets. And I am sorry for how I reacted yesterday. It was a little overwhelming'.

'No, it's me who should ask sorry, I shouldn't -'

'You are young and in love and… I know how it feels. I should not have got so….'

'Upset?', Ginny suggested tentatively. 'Angrier than Mum that time Harry and Ron stole a car?'

Lily laughed.

'So maternal, yeah. I just forget sometimes Harry is old now - you will understand when you have your own kids'.

'Oh, no', she sighed, then she flushed. 'I mean, I don't think of kids yet, so please let's not -'

'That's fine, 'cause I don't want grandchildren just yet either', Lily interrupted her, with a smile. Then Lily looked away carefully. 'But - if you want to talk about it - potions or stuff - I don't know if you talked to Molly -'

'No! I mean, Mum talked to me, you know, the basics, but you don't have to worry. I… I talk to Hermione about it and trust me, she knows more than enough about the theory'.

Lily looked to the garden, an amused smile on her face.

'Just theory?', she repeated, watching Ron and Hermione talking to each other, his arms around her waist as they enjoyed the summer day.

Ginny kept her face neutral. She wouldn't betray Hermione's secrets.

'Well, I am glad there is someone you can talk to', Lily added, and Ginny believed in her. 'In any case, whatever you want to talk about - school, or any worry, or even complain about Harry -, I am here'.

'Thanks, Lily'.

Lily beamed at her, and just like when Harry grinned like that, Ginny felt compelled to beam back.

'And please, don't ever call me Mrs. Potter again'.

Ginny laughed and, together, they returned to the backyard.

#eyes glistening #hinny #Jily supports Hinny #harry and ginny #hinny fanfiction #Jily Lives AU #jily lives is a happier world #t: fanfiction

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

4. Side

Knowing what is to come, Henry decides to wait in the lost ones’ worship room and he is met with a choice he has already made: Demon or Angel? Which side should he pick? (Set during the ink loops and in chapter 4, Henry remembers everything and is writing the golden messages on the walls.)

Henry was cold and distant towards Boris during this loop. Not cruel, and he didn’t try to be mean, but the animator was tired. He was tired of this sick game Alice liked to play, giving him hope to get Boris only to come face to face with that mutilated thing that used to be his friend. Maybe if he wasn’t as friendly, the wolf would forget about him and focus on saving his own skin instead of trying to wake him up to save him…

…No dice.

He sighed dejectedly as he pulled himself out of the rubble of the elevator. He wasn’t exactly fast about it, he knew that no matter what he did, no matter how fast he tried to run through the gauntlet of trials set up by Malice, he would never save him, not unless he had the ability to control time itself or something.

He took out his ‘lucky’ pen and even wrote it down on the wall by the crash: He can’t be saved.

If Joey made him forget again and gave him back the tool, he’d see it and know it was fruitless. That specific Henry would still try, but at least he could say he warned him.

Normally, he’d try to speed through this, not for Boris’s sake, but to just get the whole thing over and done with. This time however, he was going to take his sweet time. It wasn’t like time flowed in this place anyway.

He stayed in Grant’s office looking for a calculator so he could try to see how much the 48,128 dollars that the studio was apparently short on would be now. He did not have a lot of luck with that self-given quest as the calculators in the former accountant’s drawers all seemed to be smashed to pieces. And had bite marks and ink on them…

He got into the room that had all the lost ones posed around the Bendy statue and paused. These ones all stood as still as statues until they vanished without a trace when he left the room, so what would happen if he stayed?

The old animator took a seat somewhere in the room and got comfortable, not letting them out of his sight while the music box played on and stopped.

...

They didn’t move an inch for what felt like hours. If he still had the seeing tool, he’d use it to glance around the room to see if a past him left anything regarding them somewhere. He could climb up on the stage and try to invoke a reaction out of them that way, but Henry was a patient man. And if he was not one before being condemned to this personal hell woven by his ‘old friend’, then he certainly was one now.

…

“...Who’s side are you on?”

“Huh?” Henry blinked owlishly, he knew that the lost ones could speak, but it still surprised him. And he swore that this one’s voice felt familiar. “What do you mean?”

“The Prophet tells us not to talk to you, but I can’t help it!” The lost one threw his arms up in exasperation, climbed off of the stage and jabbed Henry in the chest. “Who’s. Side. Are. You. On? The Ink Demon’s, or the Fallen angel’s?”

“Uh...neither..?”

“LIAR!”

The rest of the lost ones all exclaimed in unison.

“You’ve killed our harmless, swollen brethren in her name!” A woman’s voice he never heard exclaimed, its owner pointed at him accusingly.

“You’ve done her errands!” A man’s voice that he also never heard before exclaimed, it’s owner hid behind the Bendy statue.

“But you’ve also killed her pet... She loves that projector-thing, while our Lord does not…” Another unknown lady hemmed and hawed.

“Our Lord Himself had spared you, and we do not know why.” Another unknown man stated. “Going so far as to kill His own prophet for your sake… It’s odd.”

“So, which one is it?” the vaguely familiar one crossed his arms. “The Demon or Angel? Give me an answer and don’t be any more of a waster then you already are.”

“I’m on both sides then.” Henry stated as it clicked who the familiar one was. “Sometimes I’m on the demon’s side, sometimes the Angel’s side. I don’t want to side with either of them honestly, but there’s only two paths.”

Henry saw the lost one’s eye twitch. Thinking fast, he interjected with a question of his own before he could fly into a rage.

“And what about you, Mr. Cohen, how did you end up on the Demon’s side?”

“M-mister… Cohen…” he let out a soft chuckle. “I thought I’d never hear my own name again… But as for your question I ended up where I am because of HIM.”

“It was the same way as the Prophet and the rest of us believers did we assume;” one of the ladies chimed in.

“We were deep in dark puddles no other god could free us from...” another on the stage continued. “Forced to watch our bodies move without our own input, forced to watch them speak against our own wills…”

“Trapped within our own minds, we were screaming and screaming, begging and pleading for freedom! Our bodies were twisting and warping into ink models of those fucking cartoons-”

“-being controlled by the dark puddles in mind and body. It was trying to destroy our souls to turn the scraps of us into those characters.”

“Nonbelievers are lucky to never understand the desperation you feel when it feels like your very essence of who you are is being unraveled and re woven into something entirely different in mind, body, and soul. But they will also never know the sheer, ecstatic relief you feel when the process had been stopped by a benevolent god.”

“Why, I think that the Prophet was on the cusp of achieving perfection before our Lord restored his soul, that must be why he’s the only one of us with four fingers on each hand.” The lost one behind the Bendy statue mused.

“The Prophet’s existence alone is proof of His benevolence.” Grant added. “Our Lord has tamed the fiercest of Shrews with His mercy, and led it to care for, teach, and protect all of us, even the wasters who doubt Him. And THAT is why we serve our Lord, Waster, why we worship Him; We all have been at the mercy of the dark puddles and seen that it has none. While He has let us keep our minds, hope, and sometimes even memories for another day.”

“And perhaps, He’ll even free us from our bodies of ink themselves!”

“We just have to believe...”

“I see.” Henry hummed as he pulled himself up. “Well, thank you for your time, all of you. It was interesting to hear your side of the story. I never really thought about why anyone would serve the Ink Demon before hearing you out.”

“...Thank you,” Grant waved him off “and good luck on your travels, Stranger.”

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #Henry Stein #grant cohen #fanfic #ink demonth #lost ones batim

[natsubeatsrock]

Lower Your Expectations for Nalu

I'm going to start this post off more generously than I normally would. I don't have any real reason to. I just kind of want to reach some of the Nalu fans with this section. (Nalu fans probably shouldn’t want to read the rest.)

Generally speaking, it's better to lower your expectations for a ship becoming canon. That way, you are pleasantly surprised to see how it will happen. Sometimes a relationship should have more subtle canonization than a bombastic showing. If Mashima plans to make Nalu canon, we should be patient to see how it happens. It’s not impossible for Nalu to have some impressive showy way it becomes canon. However, it’s worth letting Mashima do his thing and let the chips fall as they may.

Alright, the kids are gone. Let's do this for real.

I've been running this blog for just over six years. You'd think that, at this point, it would be hard for me to be surprised by this fandom. I've seen all kinds of things happen, and that should be the case. I joined during a rather tenuous time where fandoms were more willing to go at it.

As it stands, the Nalu fandom is the gift that keeps on giving. Whenever I feel as though I can't think of anything else to say about this ship, something happens, and I'm brought back to writing about it. You'd think it would be me talking about how the ship functions in canon. However, fans seem willing to bend over backward to sing Nalu's praises.

I'd respect it if it weren't Nalu we're talking about. This might be one of the most overrated ships in anime. I'll never understand how most people who watch this series even passively wanted these two to become a couple. All the couples Mashima's written over the years, and this is the one he'll be judged for? (Also, maybe Gruvia, but we talked about that already.)

Still, I do have to give this some fandom credit. Mashima has taken nearly every possible opportunity to feasibly advance this ship since the Grand Magic Games ended (arguably even before that) and passed on doing much with it. On some occasions, it feels as though Mashima is directly mocking the idea that Nalu could possibly become canon. And yet, fans believe that Nalu will become canon at any moment because he draws a Twitter pic of them once every three months or so. (Yes, I did edit this sentence since Nalu Day. What of it?) 

Recently, I got an ask comparing the Nalu fandom to the MAGA crowd. I'm not personally vindictive enough against Trump or his supporters to affirm that comparison. Though, I can't act as if I haven't been thinking of an analogy to describe Nalu fans. I think a better comparison might be fans of the Dallas Cowboys. 

Cowboys fans seem to believe that their team can win the Super Bowl any season. That's not an inherently problematic perspective to take. You should hope that your team will do well. However, this often manifests itself in confidence that ignores the faults within individual Cowboys teams and the strength of their opponents. Not to mention, this ignores the objective fact that the Cowboys haven't done well in the playoffs for 25 years.

I don't think it's wrong for fans to believe that their ship will become canon. I don't know too many fans who wish their ship doesn't become canon. However, I always worry about the fans who believe their ship happening is an inevitability. Especially when things seem to be pointing away from the possibility of it happening. This is usually a recipe for toxic fandoms.

But, let me humor the idea for a moment.

What if Mashima really plans to make Nalu happen in the end?

As I'm writing this post,  we're currently in the middle of the fight between the third Dragon God. We're getting close to the real conclusion of that battle. But after that, there are two big arcs until the series truly ends. Three if they decide to have one last battle against the quest-giving dragon.

If Mashima's going to make Nalu canon, how would that work now?

There's the "realization" route. This is the one I probably see the most. Natsu and Lucy could come to the clear realization that they have come to love each other throughout the series. Of course, you'd have to imagine that whatever would bring this on is more powerful than thinking the other has died. 

Twice, throughout the series. 

Each.

On top of several other crazy things to happen to them over 600 chapters of material spanning a decade and a half. Yet, I'm supposed to believe that some random new moment will change the tide for Nalu.

The other way to do it is to have a confession. Either Natsu or Lucy decides to share with the other the fact that they are in love. Their feelings are reciprocated, and you can figure out the rest.

Depending on who you ask, we've almost gotten this a few times. Lucy's had a few opportunities to talk about her relationship with Natsu and has been fairly nice about it. A few times it's hinted that there might be more to their friendship but nothing concrete. I've even seen it hinted that Natsu was going to confess in chapter 545.

But, that's just it. We've only gotten hints at the possibility that there's more. If Natsu and Lucy actually like each other romantically, why not make it clearer earlier?

"It's because he's being subtle about their shared romantic feelings."

Yeah, I have reason to doubt that.

Jellal and Erza have feelings for each other implied throughout Fairy Tail. Sure there's explicit stuff like their meeting before the Grand Magic Games started. But there's been plenty of subtle stuff surrounding their relationship. People make hints at their potential romantic relationship all the time in canon, even as recent as the last arc.

I feel like I say this a lot when talking about Jerza. But really think about the arcs they're together in. There's Tower of Heaven, Nirvana, the Grand Magic Games, Tartarus, Alvarez Empire, and Aldoron. Their relationship is brought up or hinted at in Fantasia, Tenrou Island, Avatar, and Mercuphobia. While that looks like a large amount of material, Jerza doesn't take up much space in any of these arcs. Outside of the Grand Magic Games, Nirvana, and Alvarez, these are small moments between the two of them at best. Sometimes it's even less than that. And yet, the ship makes sense to the vast majority of the fandom.

But that might be an unfair comparison. Jellal and Erza have a history dating before the series started. 

Let's use a ship that involves characters that met after Natsu and Lucy. Gray and Juvia. (Wait, these guys again?)

The big thing with this ship has been how Gray feels about Juvia. We've known how Juvia feels about Gray literally since they met. However, we've seen Gray slowly change his views on Juvia. We didn't just jump from enemies to lovers. There was a subtle shift as the series went on.

Do you really think that Mashima couldn't do better with Natsu and Lucy? His main duo? The series is only possible because the two meet each other. But I'm supposed to believe that Mashima didn't want to make a Nalu romance seem more explicit?

If you were to ask me, the most likely route for Nalu now is a much less sexy option. If Nalu were to happen, it won't happen in a grand showing of affection. It will just... happen. We'll likely skip to some random point in time after they beat all the dragons and see them as a couple. Maybe we'll se an Earthland Nasha.

This isn't something anime/manga fans aren't used to. I know everyone likely thinks of a different series that has done this over the years. People will rag on series like Naruto and Bleach for doing this. For what it's worth, I do like both of those series and their endgame ships. 

That said, I have two problems with this option. 

First, Nalu doesn't have the kind of setup that those other ships have. You're not getting characters openly confessing before a fight. You're not getting two characters flustered over the prospect of feelings suggested to each other. Heck, you're not getting a "Silver Ray" situation.

"What about those times when Lucy was asked if she likes Natsu?"

Again, Lucy's not openly agonizing over that as part of their relationship. If this was something we were supposed to seriously consider as an option for her, we'd know.

Even then, this would only show that it's one-sided. Natsu hasn't had any similar moments where he considers liking Lucy. Anyone bringing up the waterfall scene is speculating at best. Do you really expect me to believe that Mashima will change that this far into the series?

But this doesn't even get into the second problem. Is this how you'd want Nalu to become canon? 

I've said this before, but Nalu has been expected to become canon for close to a decade. That almost feels like an exaggeration. But one of the big chapters I usually point to for Mashima potentially making Nalu more overt is Lucy Fire. That chapter turned ten years old this past March.

Nalu fans have been inventing all kinds of scenarios and situations about how Mashima will make their favorite ship happen. Wouldn't it be disappointing for fans to see that this ship would happen without any of the pomp and circumstance you'd expect a ship like this to get?

I know plenty of people who were disappointed when their favorite ship just became canon without a lot of lead-up. I didn't love getting to the end of Bleach without knowing more about how Ichigo and Orihime got together. Yes, I know the novels exist, but I (literally) paid to read the manga. I'd like to have seen it happen in the manga. (This could be about Naruto, but I only own The Last.)

This is why I believe Nalu fans should lower their expectations. Do you know the fantasy fans have for Nalu happening? Natsu and Lucy finally being hit with the overwhelming realization they love each other? A tearful confession of their feelings for each other capped with a kiss? All of their friends cheering them on, knowing they should have been a couple a long time ago? Maybe even a glimpse at their wedding and their future kid?

Congratulations, that was Rave Master's main couple. Don't expect the same thing for Nalu. If Nalu will happen, it will look much more disappointing than what fans believe it will look like.

At this point, I'm even not sure that Nalu will happen. Mashima has made every version of Nalu look more romantic except the original. I can't apologize for my skepticism on its prospects. Even actual Nalu fans are worried about if it will happen. I will enjoy seeing more of this salt in the future.

Now, there's one question you might be asking of me. How will I react to Nalu happening?

I don't have some back-pocket post prepared in case Nalu does happen. Heck, I thought of making one but ended up writing this post instead. 

However, I have been wrong about future events of Fairy Tail in the past. If I'm wrong and Mashima does make Nalu canon, then I'll talk about it. I highly doubt it will make me like the series less. It certainly won't affect anything I'm doing with the rewrite, given my rules for changes. Consider that I've been able to talk about Gruvia negatively at this point in the series. I'll absolutely continue to talk smack about Nalu if it ends up canon. 

That said, I have reason to believe that I'm right about the direction Nalu will take. And if I'm right, don't expect my tone on Nalu to stay the same. At the very least, I can promise a third Nalu edition of "My Incredibly Unpopular Thoughts" if Nalu doesn’t happen. I haven't done one in years and I can't think of a better way to celebrate the ship dying once and for all.

#fairy tail #anti nalu #fairy tail month: seven of these? #to be clear #nothing specifically has prompted this #i just have bad timing #i've wanted to do a post like this for months #this is another situation #where one post became two #you'll see the second one some other time

[kirrtash]

It’s only after their mother dies and they get in contact with the first, unfriendly, demons that Inuyasha finds out that the human’s obsession over fitting everyone in one gender it’s weird for them too. They have already learned to keep quiet about what they think about themselves. What their body is, and isn’t, to them, they don’t tell the humans in the castle. Inuyasha doesn’t even tell their mother.

It has been a few years since they stopped living in the castle, when they have again the occasion to meet an human, on a moonless night. That particular one, as every other, is immediately concerned with their appearance, assuming their gender without even letting them speak.

Inuyasha doesn’t feel particularly attached to one nor the other, on a good day doesn’t even think about it.

(On a bad day somebody just has to remind them, usually while trying to kill them, and aren’t they lucky?)

They don’t go near another human settling for years after that night. Those are safer than the forests and fields, at least when they are weak, but they don’t have it in themselves to deal with stupid humans and their stupid way of thinking.

In a way this hurts more than being half breed. Their mixed heritage is on plain sight for everyone to see, and there is no mistake to be made (with the exception of one night per month): one look at their ears and the story of their birth is on plain sight for everyone to deduce.

But the way humans expect them to adapt to their roles, to dance to this tune they don’t fit in, just after one look at their body, that’s worst. Humans and demons alike hate them for their blood, but both of them just ignore how they feel about their body. It’s just irrelevant.

So Inuyasha makes sure that it’s irrelevant for themselves too. In any case they don’t even have the words to explain it, so why bother? It’s not like they have someone to tell, and the most important thing right now it’s to survive.

They never get around telling Kikyo about this too. She barely accepted their mixed blood, Inuyasha is not sure she can take more. They don’t want to take the risk of another rejection. As for the sacrifice they are willing to face, it’s not that different from the other one they already accepted to make when she asked, just another part of their identity they will have to renounce to.

Kagome is strange. She doesn’t question them and the way they present themselves, doesn’t even seem to notice. The girl has bigger problems anyways, it’s her fault if them both are on this quest. But she always looks at them with a bit more intention when they slip, in the way they refer to themselves, when the hyper masculine terms they use out of habit, to comply with the image others have of them, to not raise questions, get stuck in their throat. She always notices.

She asks one night, when everyone else it’s sleeping. They have just met Sesshomaru again and Inuyasha is quite proud of their victory, even if in reality the bastard run away just before Tessaiga could break definitively. Inuyasha still counts it as victory.

“It’s something that I have noticed before, but why did he refer to you with neutral terms?”

The asshole has never had anything to say about their gender obviously, as it’s normal for a demon, but Inuyasha doesn’t really want to explain to her. They huff and try to dismiss the question with a vague gesture and a “whatever” but she just keeps waiting patiently, peering at them from under her eyelashes. They both know that the answer it’s not simple, and the question is bigger than it could look to a mere bystander.

Inuyasha takes a breath. She has been on their side for a while now, and they don’t want to lose her. But at the same time she has already told them how irrelevant their mixed blood is for her. No. Not irrelevant. A part of them. Just a part of who they are, as normal as their hands and eyes, something that makes them THEM. If she could accept that, then maybe, just maybe…

Inuyasha doesn’t know how to explain, but Kagome is patient. It’s like a flood. When dawn comes, and, how? When? She stops them, shakes Sango awake and quietly informs her that she and Inuyasha are going back to her time. She then calls for Inuyasha and they start walking away from the camp. As soon as they are out of ears’ reach, she resumes the conversation.

She looks among books and books in the public library. Inuyasha just stands aside, the hat flattening their ears, trying not to draw attention and not to be in her way. They didn’t even stop to her house to say hi to her family, she knew she didn’t have anything of what she was looking for there.

“There must be something! I have read a couple of things but I cannot remember where I found them again!” she looks possessed, and Inuyasha is not going to bother her.

She comes up with a few books and articles from magazines, and is eyeing critically the huge computer in the backroom, pondering if to search on that too, since the Higurashi family doesn’t have one.

Inuyasha is not really listening to her. They are scrolling through the written text, trying to make good use of what little reading abilities they have, and to interpret the futuristic language and culture. Their worldview is being thrown off right now.

If for demons gender (and now they know the difference between gender and sex, and gender expression too, isn’t that neat?) is inconsequential, humans 500 years in the future keep spending a lot of time thinking and talking about it. Still, the revelation is another one. Demons don’t care about gender, you can’t use it against them. Humans don’t care too, they know where they fit and it comes natural to them to abide the unwritten rules that concern the sociality. Despite this, here Inuyasha gets a glimpse of another world. These books give them a place, among others, give their struggle a name and a reason and companionship. They are not the only one. There are humans too, here, going through something that might, with a stretch of imagination, be considered similar to their experience.

Kagome takes some books back home, essays and narrative ones, and some vhs to see on the television. Her family is nowhere to be seen and they are back to her room. Inuyasha feels safe there, the day has already been a mess, and their head is still spinning. “I don’t know where to look for more, but we need to understand better, honestly Inuyasha, why didn’t you speak sooner?”

They know her temper is without fire, that she is just worried, but it hurts the same. She must see their look, the flattened ears, because she backtracks immediately. “I’m sorry, I can understand why, it was a stupid thing to say. It’s just… I want to help. I would like for you to tell to the others too, but it’s your call. I’m sure they will want to understand though. That’s why I need to find more…” she is off again, checking on the list she compiled while looking for materials, and Inuyasha watches her go in the direction of the stairs and the living room, still shell-shocked.

“I didn’t even ask you!” She seems to have realized something, her voice still audible from the other room “I’m so bad at this, I’m sorry! Which pronouns should I use?”

Inuyasha can’t help the laugh that escapes their lips, they don’t know what to answer. But they will find out. There are words out there for them, just waiting to be discovered. Their experience can be told, and damn them if they are not going to.

—

 A disclaimer: I am a cisgender woman, so my knowledge and undersanding of genderqueer identities can only be a secondhand one. This to say that I hope that I have not offended anyone with this depiction of this identity, and if I have I am deeply sorry, since it was not my intention.

For something so short I really had trouble writing this. First my native language doesn’t have the option of singular them, and I never had any occasion for using it before, so I’m sorry if I made mistakes. Second, Inuyasha the character, in the anime, while referring to themselves, uses Ore, an highly masculine way of saying me, and I didn’t want ignore canon completely even if I played fast and lose with the timeline, since I don’t remember what happened when. Additionally, and I never looked into the language so I’m not sure, I suspect that there are A LOT of pronouns whit different nuances in the spectrum between masculine and feminine in the Japanese language. So I had to take in account three language shifts while writing this tiny little thing. I’d like to add that while il like to think that my personal knowledge on transgender and genderqueer identities is not that bad, I haven’t the faintest idea of what 199something Japan might knew about it, so I kept on the conservative side (considering they are still a really closed off country about LGBT+ issues, I feel that it’s the most realistic portrait)

I cannot help but think about Inuyasha and a nonbinary or genderqueer identity. Assuming that for demons gender is something much less regulated by social norms than for humans, and that because of their upbringing Inuyasha didn’t get to receive a positive and validating explanation of gender and sexuality by none of the two cultures, I suppose that (in the feudal era!) it would have created in them an even higher sense of isolation and oddness. That’s probably why I love the idea of Inuyasha going to the pride for the first time (first gay pride in Tokyo was in 1994…)  and in general realize that they are not alone. 

It is a deeply difficult and isolating situation, not having the words to describe, even to ourselves, our identity, and I am happy that the modern ways of connecting with each other are lessening this kind of isolation.

this was written for day 5 of @inuyashapridemonth2020​

#inuyasha #inuyashapride2020 #my art #my writing #ops #I wrote something again #inuyasha pride month #nonbinary inuyasha

[jaerie]

Alpha Seeking Alpha (E, 4k, abo) Maybe it’s taboo, but Louis can’t stop thinking about a strong alpha holding him down and filling him with a knot. Louis may be alpha himself yet there’s a corner of the internet where he can get what he wants. He finally has the courage to do it.

And the Truth Shall Set You Free (Maybe…) (E, 18k, abo) Betism: A religion based on the belief that the beta gender has been chosen by God to protect and defend the purity and dignity of the human race by resisting and condemning the lustful ways and flawed biology of the alpha and omega

Harry is a Betist and Louis is an alpha who runs with a bad crowd. This is what happens when two worlds collide.

Captain Jack (E, 32k, abo) Louis has been searching for something and Harry is there to give it to him. Drugs, sex, disappointment, and the tangled web they’ve woven that keeps them trapped in the same cycle.

Everything Comes Back To You (10k, abo) Louis was only seven when he found himself in a hospital bed alone and scared, confused about what was happening. When another little boy climbed into his bed to comfort him, Louis never thought that they would be meeting again later in life. He also never imagined that their roles would be reversed the second time around.

Everything I need I get from you (M, 10k, abo) In a world where music and sound are just as vital to health as food, Harry is stuck in a town that thinks professional music is a scam and a relationship he never wanted. One chance event changes his life.

Going Live (E, 15k) Harry has only done this cam thing a handful of times when another camboy pops in to view his stream and unintentionally stirs things up a bit.

Or Louis and Harry are both camboys for some extra cash and meet each other in an unconventional way

I’m Sure It Happens To All Alphas (E, 4k, abo) “It’s okay. I’m sure it happens to all alphas at some point,” the omega beside him said which only embarrassed him even more.

The thing was that this was not how Louis expected their first time together to play out. Especially after he’d been fantasizing about it for so long.

But let’s jump back to the beginning.

or Louis has trouble popping a knot

Just Jump (E, 10k, abo) Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry’s new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

20 more fics below... 

Knot Safe For Work (E, 6k, abo) The world is magical, Louis is a wizard, Harry is a Were, there are spells for lube and supernatural kinks are definitely a thing.

Merry Birthday (10k, abo) Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson have unfortunate soulmarks branded onto their skin. The first words their soulmate will ever speak to them are two of the most common greetings, so common that they don’t even notice when it finally happens for real.

A Christmas soulmate AU.

OmegaVision (E, 24k, abo) Tomlin Networks Presents: OmegaVision starring Louis Tomlinson! The world’s first 24/7 reality channel available in over 150 countries worldwide following the life of the first male omega born in over a century. Follow Louis through his daily routine, the ups and downs of growing up or just leave him on for comfort. There are many reasons to tune in but, no matter what yours may be, there’s always a part of Louis that is just like you!

Or a Truman Show au that nobody asked for where Louis is Truman and Harry just wants to be his mate

Out of the Wild (E, 21.5k, abo) Louis has spent most of his life as a wolf in the wild, Harry has spent most of his life as a human in the city. Their worlds collide during the audition process for the hottest new singing competition. What happens next should have expected.

Out With The Old, In With The New (E, 7k, abo) Harry becomes the pack’s new alpha and Louis can’t wait to be bred

The Post-War BP (E, 18k, abo) The eight year war has left the country’s birthrate severely stunted with a lack of virile alphas left to bring it back up. To ensure the survival of the country, the government opens The Breeding Program where young omegas can apply to carry an alpha’s child in exchange for benefits. Louis’ family is struggling and the BP is one of the only ways to secure a roof over their heads. Harry was drafted at the age of eighteen and spent six years of his life defending a country he doesn’t recognize when he returns home. The government made the bed but it’s Harry that has to lie in it.

Restless Lane (E, 15k, abo) Louis had grown used to his boring life back in Mississippi as a stand-in father figure to his siblings. He never expected his childhood friend to show up on his lawn with the heat of summer or that he would remind Louis how much of himself he'd tucked away and neglected. He also never expected to find himself caught up in a tangled web of feelings or secrets that just might break him. Maybe he had never known Harry at all.

Save Some Luck For Me (E, 10.5k, abo) Louis arrives at the 2018 Winter Olympics to make history as the first omega to win a gold medal at the games. Harry, his oiled up crush from the Summer Olympics, just happens to show up to sabotage him, but maybe helps him win in the end.

Sisterwives (E, 33k, abo) This was it, the moment Louis had been waiting for his entire life. Giddy excitement bubbled up as he held hands and stared up at his soon-to-be alpha and husband and grinned. The ceremony was small and simple, but Louis didn’t mind. Fresh flowers pinned into his hair and a brand new outfit was all he needed to feel special in front of their few witnesses. It was just some members of his family and a few of the church elders in attendance as was customary for any marriage beyond the first wife within the faith.

First wives were the ones to have elaborate weddings with the whole community involved. An alpha’s first wedding was a celebration of an their coming of age, his first steps into fulfilling God’s prophecy. There were many glories for an omega that came with being a first wife but also many responsibilities. Louis had never aspired to be a first wife or even a second. He wasn’t experienced enough to be the leader of an alpha’s many wives and children and he didn’t think he’d be up to the task.

Louis was just fine in the position he was stepping into as the seventh.

Or Louis thinks he's getting everything he's ever dreamed of. Harry helps him find what makes him truly happy.

Stay Close, Hold Steady (E, 27k, abo) Found on the banks of the Mississippi as an toddler, Harry goes on a quest to find his biological family. Louis tries to be supportive, but maybe he just doesn’t want to be left behind.

Take What’s Mine (E, 15k, abo) Years after he is kidnapped, his life altered forever, Louis goes through the motions in a way that barely feels like living. Harry is a wild card, a forbidden fruit that Louis swore off of before he even had a chance to experience it. Maybe, in the end, Harry holds the key to being reborn. Louis just has to be open to the idea first.

Tell Me That You Want It Cause I Already Know (E, 3.8k, abo) Who knew all it would take was some good ole porn for Louis to discover his friend, Harry, is a wolf and for it to awaken an urge that would bring them together in a way he hadn’t anticipated.

Tiny Exaggeration (E, 4k, abo) Louis is frustrated that they've been dating for months and still haven't taken their relationship to the next level. Sometimes the foolishness of the past lingers in the present. Louis wants that to change.

Was It All Fake? (E, 4k, abo) Unmated omegas are second class citizens. Expected to provide for themselves yet paid so little that they often are overworked or forced to sell their bodies just to keep from starving. Louis’ luck turns around when he meets Harry, the rich heir to a fortune. After their bonding ceremony, things aren’t exactly what Louis expected.

Where Do We Go Now (E, 10k, abo) Louis goes off to college ready to start a fresh life away from the oppressive alphas of his pack. The odds aren’t in his favour when his new dorm mate turns out to be an alpha. Louis hates alphas.

The Wilds (E, 13k, abo) The creatures that Louis observed every day weren’t exactly human, but yet they were. Researchers had plucked some of them from their secluded island and transplanted them into an enclosure against their will like a bunch of zoo animals. Louis didn’t think they were. But he was only paid to do the yardwork, he didn’t have any say about the wilds that lived there. That was until an unfortunate accident changed his life forever and made one wild in particular his top priority.

Woke Up Feeling Knotty (E, 8k, abo) Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof. When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them. Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.

You Gotta Swim, Swim For Your Life

Swim When It Hurts - Part One (M, 12k, abo) Harry never thought he would find himself battling cancer. Louis never thought he would find himself so attached to one of his patients.

Swim When It Hurts - Part Two (E, 6k, abo) Harry never thought he would find himself battling cancer. Louis never thought he would find himself so attached to one of his patients. Neither one of them thought they would find love in such an unlikely place.

Swim When It Hurts - Part Three (E, 7k, abo) Harry never thought he would find himself battling cancer. Louis never thought he would find himself so attached to one of his patients. Neither one of them thought they would find love in such an unlikely place. Maybe things weren’t ideal, but finding strength in a new kind of normal together may be just what they need.

#my fics #masterpost #self rec

[flateshippingrates]

Always Yours

A/N: This idea was suggested by @nicohasahappymeal :) 

Ship: Solangelo

Words: 3095

Ao3

It was not common for Will to leave camp, but it did happen from time to time and, by the Gods, this week was one of those times until further notice. The Roman camp was short staffed and were in need of a healer to help teach others and work alongside in the infirmary. It was a good learning experience for everyone; Will could learn different techniques and they could share some knowledge the Greeks had as well. It was a win-win; well, it almost was except for the fact it meant he would have to leave Nico which was hard enough as is but was intensified when they learned the ghost king was being summoned to the Underworld. 

They weren’t sure if they would have any time to talk or if their schedules would match up at all. Nico tended to have no concept of time when he was in the Underworld for more than a few days, basing his time on how often he slept but that was, of course, a faulty system. It had been several days since their last Iris message and frankly Will was homesick. No one here seemed to understand when he was joking or when he was being serious or that some of his southern expressions were meant to be passive aggressive in the nicest way possible. It was like he was speaking Greek to them. 

He just wanted to go home. He just wanted to be with Nico.

That night the blond was left to flop down on the bed in a tired huff, overgrown hair flaring out like a halo, and knocking all the air out of him. He had his own room which was a nice change but going from being around people constantly to no-one at all was a little jarring. Blue eyes scanned the hardly lived in room to check the time (was 7 o’clock too early to go to bed?) and was surprised when he saw a letter on his nightstand. 

It was in a simple, white envelope, clearly labeled “Willow” in sharp handwriting and a ‘W’ substantially larger than all the other letters; it was typical of Nico to make the capital letters tower over the lowercase. Turning it over he found a black, wax seal with the helmet of Hades on it, and while he was curious how this got to him Will knew not to question Nico. Instead, he did his best to open it without destroying the seal completely. The letter read as follows:

Dear Willow,

I hope you don’t mind if I write to you, since (and I am sure this will not surprise you) I have lost track of time. I miss you terribly and, even if you cannot respond, I still want you to know I have thought of nothing but you since we were separated.

I am ragged and exhausted and want to take a break to be home or, at the very least, in your arms and to share a clementine with you. I would split it in half but if you said you were still hungry I would happily give you my part as well. I just want a bite so I can taste what you taste. I want us to have even more in common today, and the next, and for as long as time moves forward so that, for a moment, while loving each other, it feels like the same as loving ourselves and as if we are sharing a piece of citrus. 

I will write again tomorrow.

Always yours,

Nico

And that’s how it began, as simple as that: a letter came in once a day in an identical looking envelope and filled with sweet words that made being apart more bearable. Will looked forward to this but desperately wished he could write something back or give Nico some idea that he was actually reading them. Sometimes he would even reread the same notes over and over again--especially on the days when the infirmary took all his energy; some days it was all he had to look forward to. 

It was hard being at the Roman camp because their schedule was stricter and left little room for experimenting. They used more medicine based practices over Will’s preferred healing powers. He also found that their infirmary lacked any ambiance. Where were the sweet smelling oils, soft singing, and idle conversation between the doctor and patient? It felt more sterile and as if the goal was only to rush people in and out as fast as possible without reassuring them that they could come back with any questions or concerns. 

He tried to teach the new medics the power of human empathy but not everyone took to it. When he thought of all the fits he got from Greek campers compared to the well-oiled machine that was the Roman camp, he felt kind of silly for complaining about it. He supposed what he missed most of all was the personality of Camp Halfblood. The worst part of this situation being that he knew one day he would have to be in this camp, especially if he wanted to stay under some protection. He would have to learn to love it whether he wanted to or not and that is just what he tried to do. He decided he would try to keep on the sunny side as best he could when he was working.

There was also the matter of Nico’s friends here and how they often tried to make Will feel like he was part of their group. It felt awkward and forced at times though. He was not part of this original collective which lead to feelings of doubt; they were most likely hanging out with him because he was Nico’s boyfriend and not because they actually liked him. It wasn’t that Will had never been insecure before yet this felt different. He didn’t have Nico here to reassure him that everyone did like him or thought he was a vital part of the team. Instead, all he had were these letters and they could only make shots in the dark at what Will needed to hear at that moment. 

He went back to his room relatively early, picking at his food, and was eager to see if the note had arrived yet. There was a dissipating shadow as he entered the room, allowing Will to know how Nico was transporting the letters (it was so small he knew it would only be a hand traveling), as well as a sense of ease knowing he wouldn’t immediately be left alone with his thoughts. The blond sat on the bed, just as careful as always when he opened the letter, and read:

Dear Willow,

I met with Hypnos today; we sat in his field of poppies and, as I’m sure you know, we could not speak freely for no noise and no light can enter his grotto but he did allow me some knowledge for my quest and of you. He is a kind God and has agreed to give you deeper sleep tonight to calm your unease at the Roman camp. I was not aware you were feeling so out of place among our friends. 

You are the greatest ally we could ever ask for. That is why they asked you to go to their camp in the first place. If they seem stiff or awkward around you it is because they have never felt the embrace of your true laugh. We will be in our home before you know it, Will. I am sure of it. For now, make the best you can of the situation. I promise I will be there soon. 

I am sending this letter, but I wish it were me instead.

Always yours,

Nico

It was true that a good night’s rest could change your perception to the point you would not recognize yourself the next day. This attitude adjustment helped him ease back into work and look at the new work environment as refreshing rather than a burden. He did start to see certain swaps that could help his own infirmary; for example, the thorough documentation of everything that happened. It could be such a pain having to note it but when he wasn’t sure what treatment a patient was given he wasn’t finding himself running around to ask who treated them. It, also, was nice to know exactly how much someone was eating to see how the medicine was affecting them. 

He still missed Nico deeply, of course, but now he was finding it easier to focus on the daily tasks at hand. It wasn’t out of neglect or falling out of love; he just understood he was doing no one a favor by sulking and pining for his boyfriend. This was just one of the downsides of being in a relationship. The daily letters did help ease his mind which is exactly why when he didn’t get one that night he practically spiraled into a panic attack. 

It wasn’t like Nico to just <i>forget</i> Will like that! What if something happened to him? The blond was not sure if he should pack a bag and go to the Underworld himself! He was pacing around until almost midnight before decided to go to sleep and choose a plan of action in the morning. If Nico was in a fight Will wouldn’t be doing him any favors by messaging him. 

Sleep should come easy after a long day at work yet concern would not allow him a decent rest. He woke up every hour on the hour, no matter how hard he tried to stay asleep. Maybe Nico just forgot or fell asleep or lost track of time? Surely nothing happened, right? By 3AM and no word from his sunspot, Will tried to Iris message him but was immediately brushed away. This did nothing to soothe his anxiety in the least; Come morning he was so tired and worried that he was unable to work with a competent hands so he was sent back to rest for the day. 

He tried three more times in succession to Iris message Nico, always being immediately disconnected, until the Goddess eventually snapped, “Oh my Gods, you again? Give it a rest, buddy!”  

So now he had no way of contacting his boyfriend.

 He paced around the room for another hour, doing his best to formulate a solid plan to get Nico back from the Underworld like a modern day Orpheus. There would be plenty of people at the Roman camp who would be willing to help him, afterall. They knew his worth, not only for him being a friend, but as a great ally to have if another war comes. During all this frenzied planning and organizing, Will failed to notice a letter being placed onto the nightstand, along with a small bag of coins for Iris messaging, until he turned around to see a retracting shadow. 

Apollo may be the God of the sun, but in that moment Will would have bet he moved faster than the speed of light upon seeing that letter. He ripped it open like his life depended on it and skimmed the card so fast he didn’t process at first. The blond forced himself to take a few calming breaths, still shaking with anticipation and, much slower this time, read: 

Dear Willow,

I am fine. I was resting after a MINOR injury and forgot to ask my father to send my letter to you. It was not a good time for Iris messages either (I am really fine, this is not a cover up) so I have sent you a few coins to make up for all your calls. Don’t waste your money. 

My father told me yesterday that I should be coming home to you soon and I can’t think of any greater joy in life than to be with you undisturbed after so long. I love you and have woken up in the middle of the night to write this letter. I am ready to say nothing but “I love you, Will” for the next lifetime. 

I have missed drowning in your laughter and finding all the air I could ever need in the crook of your neck. I want to lie beside you and love you, fully and without apology. Would you let me love you? Would you come and love me? 

If I could walk into your room now, I swear, I would never long to be anywhere else; not even Olympus could offer me any home greater than the one I’ve made with you. The number of hours we have been together has not been long enough to satisfy me--they are sweet and so quick and the hours apart have doubled with bitterness. I want any excuse to be with you tonight. When I come back, I promise I will always linger behind you and forget my scarf in our home before work so I always have a reason to come back. I will always come back to you.

Always yours,

Nico

And it was true, in three days time Nico was stumbling through a shadow right into Will’s arms with the look of utter exhaustion written on his face. The Italian was roughed up with bruises and cuts, but he had definitely seen worse in his day. As much as he would have loved to immediately cuddle with the son of Hades though, Will knew he needed to wash the dry blood from his face and stop what looked like a still bleeding nose. When his tanned fingers ran through black hair it was matted, feeling greasy and crusty at the roots like he was unable to clean it for the last month; still, Will loved it. He loved all of it.

His pants were too big on Nico and had to be rolled up at the ends but with a belt he was able to wear them with no problem. The son of Hades was resting his head against Will in the evening after showering and finally feeling safe as his hair was tenderly brushed against with skillful, surgeon hands. It was the most peace either of them had gotten in the last month and, not ready to see the others yet, they hid in Will’s room. Their moods were mellow and they were happy, content, and enjoying it while they could, because they understood moments like these didn’t last forever; all they could do was try to memorize it for a later memory. How could they forget how their hands fit together so perfectly though? 

“Hey, Neeks,” Will said with a sweet smile, “I was thinking… wouldn’t it be cute if we brushed each other’s hair?” 

The son of Hades looked up--his attention definitely caught--and nodded slowly. This was one of those times where he was not sure if this was a normal thing that couples did or if it was exclusive to them. Will was the one who understood what was normal behavior in this time, or in general, and if his boyfriend was recommending it then surely it was not so strange. It did sound nice too; he couldn’t remember the last time he brushed his hair. Most of all though, he just wanted to touch Will and be touched back.

The brush went through Will’s hair easily and the curls spread in a frizzy mess at being parted by fine bristles. Strands of blond stuck in the teeth and the soft mess felt nice against Nico’s blistered fingers. 

It was quickly Will’s turn to do Nico’s and that was when problems started to arise. It would not be easy to part the somehow still greasy, clumped strands but he was determined to save anything he could. The blond started from the tips, careful not to pull hard, an apology escaping his mouth anytime his boyfriend whined. “Okay, okay...new approach… maybe a haircut?” 

“Do you even know how to do that?” Nico snapped, rubbing his hair to try and release the discomfort. He could feel the loose strands but there was still a rats nest in his hair. Even in his annoyance, he felt bad a snapping after he had been waiting to see Will for so long; it was just in his nature to be crabby. Nevertheless though, he mumbled, “Sorry, I am tired. I shouldn’t have snapped at you… But, seriously, Will, do you even know how to cut hair?”

The blond nodded confidently. “I do, habibi, and I can be as quick as shadow travel.” 

Nico snorted at the comparison and, although still skeptical, nodded. This must have been the plan all along because the blond was ready with scissors and a razor in no time. It wouldn’t surprise Nico if he had been waiting for this moment; generally his hair was too hard to manage during missions, being low on the list of priorities, and it took days for him to get it back to some symbolince of normal. It was not fun for either boy. 

 Will began cutting out chunks of black hair, at first being a bit careless, before realizing what he took he couldn’t get back without time. The last thing he ever wanted to do with Nico was rush. He slowed his movements, being as careful as he could be when he started shaving the boy’s neck. It was a bit of an awkward cut, an Aphrodite child would have done a better job, but with a #3 razor he was able to shorten the sides to an easy to care for length. The top was still as long as he could allow after chopping away the knots. It was not the best but a decided improvement. 

Nico ran his fingers through his hair, just glad the whole thing was over. “So, how does it look?”

“Like a million bucks,” Will stated as he leaned in to kiss a neck decorated with freshly cut hair, “And I get to be rich just by being close to you.”

“I’ve missed you so much, tesoro,” Nico mutter, twisting his body to look into his sky and felt sturdy arms wrap around him. When they kissed between a smile, the son of Hades noted, “You taste like clementines.”

“I do,” Will said, staring into the only forest meant for his arms, “I had one earlier--when you were showering. It was good, but… I much prefer the taste of you.” 

#solangelo #Nico di Angelo #will solace #ao3 #fanfic #my post

[shopcheapjerseysusaonline-blog]

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[autumn-maple13]

Lost to Time - Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Strange 

Amara groaned internally as she and the guys walked toward the one man she really had not wanted to run into that day, watching as her friends pretty much ignored his presence at first. At least, until he looked up from using one of the outlook's binocular mounts with a sly smile.

"What a coincidence." He chuckled, and though a look of recognition crossed their faces she could already tell he was not showing his true self to them.

"I'm not so sure it is," Gladiolus grumbled, narrowing his eyes as the newcomer walked towards them – unfazed.

"Aren't nursery rhymes curious things?" the guys just gave him a confused look, though Amara knew what was coming. "Like this one: 'From the deep the Archaean calls… Yet on deaf ears, the gods' tongue falls. The King made to kneel, in pain, he crawls."

"So how do we keep him on his feet?" Prompto spoke, concerned but hesitant, stepping aside as the man walked through the group, giving the woman a smirk they others didn't see.

"You need only heed the call. Visit the Archaean and hear his plea… I can take you."

While the man waited patiently a few feet away, Amara allowed the guys to huddle up loosely with her.

"We in?" Gladio clearly wanted nothing to do with it but looked at his king anyway.

"I don't know." Was the reply, making Prompto pipe up.

"We take a ride...?"

"But watch out backs." Gladio finished.

"Fair enough."

"Let's do it."

Looking over at their "guide" Amara almost shuddered at the too-nice smile he sent their way. He turned to walk up the steps to the cars parked on the level above them.

"I'm not one to stand on ceremony, but such an occasion calls for an introduction. Please, call me "Ardyn"." She hadn't thought he would introduce himself so blatantly, but it seemed that without his last name attached to it – the name didn't mean a thing to the guys. "Follow me to the car park, that's where I left my automobile. She's a dear old thing – pales in comparison to your Regalia, but she's never let me down. We can take both cars, a caravan of sorts."

"I'll just ride my bike between you two then."

"Oh, that motorcycle up there is yours? Dear girl, the Disc is no place to travel on such a thing. If there's no room with your friends, you can just ride with me instead."

Everyone was startled by the arm Ignis threw up in front of the woman as he glared daggers at the man, though the sudden concern was shared by the others as well. With a deep breath, she stepped around the man, turning and giving everyone a slight smile.

"He may have a point. We can come back for my bike later." She stepped close, motioning for the others to do the same. "Besides, I may be able to find out some more from him without you guys glaring at him like he just shot me or something."

"I can assure you she will be safe with me," Ardyn called to them, the door to his car already open. Amara gave them a nod and a smile, turning on her heel to go join her fellow redhead. He closed the door to his convertible as soon as she was in the seat, then turned to the others. "Let us be off then?"

Her friends were shooting her a few more looks as they hurried to get into the Regalia, though her attention quickly shifted to her trickster father as he got behind the wheel and pulled ahead to the ramp out of the parking lot. With the others soon behind them, they were off – heading out of town towards the open blockade gate they had passed through on their way to the city.

"You're disguising yourself again. How?"

"I'm not so sure I should teach you just yet. Perhaps tonight, after your friends are no longer watching you quite so intensely."

Amara sighed, looking out at the passing wilds. Ardyn hummed softly for a few moments, then let a hand leave the wheel to rummage through his jacket.

"Have you had a good birthday so far, Amara?" his voice was just loud enough for her to hear over the wind, making her look at him once more. When she did, she was surprised to see him holding out a small bag of specialty candies. "Ah, your mother's band looks even better on you in the light."

"My mother… Aera Mils Fleuret." She accepted the bag, though she hesitated before deciding to try one of the treats. Hoping it would put him a bit more at ease and make him more willing to talk she unwrapped one of the confections, popping it in her mouth but freezing when she realized just how good it was, though she couldn't quite place the flavor of it. Whoever had made the things was not kidding around.

"Oh, so you've begun to remember?" he smiled, watching her pick through the bag to try and decide which of the strange candies to try next. "The red one is my favorite. They're made from sweet wines – non-alcoholic though, I assure you."

"Bits and pieces."

"You were so young back then I can't be surprised. Besides, you hardly ever got the chance to see her unless she managed to give Somnus the slip and escape to visit me outside the Kingdom."

"Then, how did… I mean, how did I…" she faltered, but he seemed to know what she was getting at. Turning onto another road, he sighed and waited until the crinkle of another wrapped had stopped.

"We had managed to spend a bit more time together than usual, and I wanted to make it count. We didn't realize you were coming to us until later."

"I have one other question."

"I'm sure there are many more than that."

"Yeah… How long ago was 'then', and how did I get here? How did you get here?"

"Darling, I am an immortal, though I won't get into the details about how that came about just yet. However, the cause of my immortality is what made me and your mother combine our powers to send you away. Although we had no idea where or when you would end up, we knew it was a place better than where we were at the time. But, even Aera didn't know the whole truth, not at the time… It's been over two thousand years."

"Dad?" she was shocked, trying to fit that piece into the mystery she had hoped to begin unraveling a bit more than she was.

"A story for a later dear, for now, I say we ought to find a place to sleep for the night." It shocked her to look out at the horizon and see the sun setting already. Had they been on the road that long? As Ardyn turned the car down another road, she noticed a gas station coming into view, a caravan outside of it. He was quick to pull in to park there, and she was happy to see the guys pulling in soon after, even if they looked less than happy as they got out of the Regalia.

"What's say we stop for the night here?"

"What's say we continue on to the Disc?" Gladiolus growled.

"The Archaean's not going anywhere."

"Neither are we, under your stewardship." Ignis walked quickly to Amara's side, the others following closely.

"So we make camp – with Ardyn," Prompto whined.

"Hell no." Noctis interrupted, though the Shield only sighed.

"Might as well get the tent up."

"Oh, I'm afraid I've never really been one for the outdoors. I shall foot the bill, so let us stay in that caravan over yonder."

Unsure and uncomfortable looks were exchanged before the group reluctantly followed him to the caravan, allowing him to leave them to rent it before surrounding their friend.

"Did you find anything out?"

"Not anything useful." The woman shook her head and sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "More importantly, how long were we on the road? It seemed like it was maybe half an hour, but it's already so late?"

"Strange indeed." Ignis agreed. "He didn't do anything did he?"

"No."

"Good, then would it be okay for us to ask that you accompany Noctis and I for a few moments while Gladio and Prompto prepare the caravan to sleep us tonight?"

"Sure." The duo was sharing a look that put her on edge, but she followed them anyway – only to be swiftly pulled towards some abandoned cars off beside the station, past the few carts that were overflowing with various smells. Out of view and out of earshot, the men stood before her with looks of concern that were definitely meant for more than just her ride.

"Amara," Noctis gently lifted one of her hands and gave it a squeeze, looking her in the eye. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah of course," she shrugged, smiling slightly at her friends to try and get some of the tension out of the air. "I felt a little bad this morning, but after such a great wake-up call I feel fine."

He can sense your growing strength, child. Her father's voice? But it sounded different somehow. You will soon need to sever your link to him, 'lest he find out the hard way about your little quest.

"Amara, are you sure finding the Arms isn't taking too much of a toll on you? You've been different since I started getting them."

"Well, duh!" She laughed. "You're not just my friend anymore Noctis, you're my King – and every time you get a new Arm it affects me more than the others. I'm a Glaive, my job is to serve my King: act as a conduit for his magic and reflect his will in battle. Every time you gain a new Arm, your strength and magic strengthen significantly – and it not only affects me the way you've seen, it reminds me of what our positions really are. I'm sorry Noct, but I can't keep treating you as just a friend when every day you seem to grow up a little more."

"Why not?" Ignis seemed to be aware of her plan to get their companion onto a different topic and briefly nodded his understanding. "We all do."

"For now. Look, I'm not saying we're growing apart or anything, okay? You're still one of my best friends." Amara gave the shorter of the men a tight hug, pulling away after a moment to smile brightly. "I'm always going to hang around and remind you at the worst possible moments about all the embarrassing shit you did in high school."

"…Promise?"

"Yeah! As a matter of fact, I may or may not have let slip a few stories when I met Lunafreya in the city." The blush that raced up Noctis's face as he tried to figure out which stories she may have told was enough to make the woman start laughing again, shoving his shoulder. "I'm kidding! Mostly. Don't worry I didn't tell her anything bad."

"We're going to talk about this later Amara." Noct wasn't kidding, giving her a stern look though his flushing face betrayed his still lingering embarrassment. The king turned on his heel and stalked away, clearly planning some kind of revenge, but her view of his retreating form was blocked when Ignis stepped in front of her.

"Is there anything I can do to make you change your mind about telling him?"

"Not yet Ignis. He's going to have a lot more questions than you because of his connection to the old kings – questions I know I can't answer yet. Every time we find a new Arm, things clear up more, so it may only be a little while longer." She gave him a gentle smile, resting a hand on his arm. "For now, we need to focus on this Ardyn guy, and getting Noctis to the Disc safely."

"On that note, I think we should discuss your taking candy from a stranger." The man plucked a wrapper from where she had stuffed it haphazardly into her pocket. "Or did you think it would help get him to talk."

"Yes. Also, that thing was damn good. If you ever decide to start dabbling in other kinds of cooking, we're gonna try to make these." It must have been the look on her face, but Ignis couldn't help but snort slightly in response. Reaching up to cover his mouth he shook his head at her and finally led her back to the others, where they found Ardyn happily chattering away about some of his previous travels. The woman decided to stand in the doorway of the caravan while her partner got to work whipping up a quick dinner. Although her father seemed oddly comfortable towards Prompto, he didn't behave all too strangely as he conversed with the group – even patiently answering any questions the guys proposed.

Ardyn even made pleasant conversation as they all ate together, complimenting Ignis on his cooking skills and inquiring about how he had come to put the meal together. Though loathe to go too into detail, the advisor did remain polite, if a bit cryptic.

Before long they were all heading off to bed – with Noctis and Gladio sharing the far one and Amara curling up between Ignis and Prompto in the front one, leaving her father on the pull-out couch (which he had accepted without argument). It was a long while before the soft breathing of her companions filled her ears. She tried not to shift too much, but when Ardyn stepped into the small room she couldn't help but jump. He smirked and motioned for her to follow him, which she did (surprised when Ignis didn't shift in the slightest as she climbed over him). Dressing quickly in the corner, she soon joined him in the main part of the trailer and followed as her father led her from the caravan into the chilly night air.

"Follow me, Amara."

"Wait, what about the guys?"

"I have more than one trick up my sleeve. They won't wake until we return."

"Did you drug them or something?"

"Of course not, I can't have them bumbling around like idiots come morning. I used magic. Now, do you want to learn some of it, or not?"

She couldn't pass up that chance, she already knew it. "I do, lead the way."

He nodded and motioned once more for her to follow. "The first thing we need to do is see how much of my magic you already inherited."

"And how much of mom's?"

"Yes, but not for the same reasons. I can't teach you about your mother's magic, but it can affect how much of my own you may be able to learn to harness." He led her quickly across the abandoned road, then jumped over the wall to the ground below. Amara followed carefully towards the abandoned shack that sat amongst construction leftovers and piles of dirt and debris, then out behind it and beyond one of the large stones that separated them from the wild of the grassy slope that wound through large stones for some yards yet. He didn't take her much farther though, but standing in the open out of reach of the lights that kept the station safe – she might as well have been on a Glaive mission for as tense as she was.

"Alright Amara," her father looked at her expectantly as he pulled a glove from one of her hands. Holding the bare palm towards her, she hesitantly moved her hand to rest atop his – having to harness every ounce of willpower she had to stay still when a dark, purple-tinged glow erupted from his hand. Her own hand reflected it in response, though she didn't miss the yellow glow at the center. It seemed to be exactly what Ardyn had been looking for, though she could have sworn there was also a bit of disappointment (and sadness) in his eyes as well.

Ardyn dropped his glow and pulled his glove back on. "You do have a bit of my power, but it seems that your mother's is mixed in quite intricately. So, we'll start with something simple – using magic to disguise yourself."

"What do I need to do?"

"You've already unlocked your own armiger, so remember how you did it. Focus on it, but instead of seeking the armiger's power – seek the power you just felt in your hand and find how it flows within you."

Not at all convinced, but still very much aware of her position, Amara closed her eyes and did as she was told. Noctis' connection flickered at the edge of her own power, becoming blotted out as she sought out the power she could still fill tingling in her palm. The feeling soon began to spread through her, and she found that as it did – the cool air of her environment began to bother her much less.

The feeling of the awakened power was almost chaotic in a way, though it held a refreshing calm at its center. She felt its ebb and flow around her own armiger, though only the 'calm' could envelop the bit of Noctis's that she held. When she opened her eyes again, Ardyn stood there with a patient smile.

"Now spread it across your body – and focus on what you want it to do." Amara hesitated but focused again on the first thought that crossed her mind. It must have worked too because as she watched her father's face go through a variety of emotions before she found herself confident she had accomplished her goal. Shaking his head, Ardyn pulled his phone from a coat pocket, taking a picture before he turned the screen to her.

Standing there in the image was not Amara, but the person who had entered her thoughts first.

Aera.

"It worked?"

"Very well." The man gave a troubled smile, then a joking one when she reigned in the magic cloaking her. "Oh, there you are Amara!"

"Hey dad, did ya miss me?" was she seriously joking around with him now?

"Of course, darling. Now come, we should get you back to bed. A short lesson though it may be, disguising yourself takes quite a bit of energy until you grow used to it." Ardyn lifted her up this time, and she felt both of them melt away in a feeling that was far more powerful than what she had felt before. Only a moment later, they were standing outside the caravan once more, earning him a confused look. "Oh no, you know the basics – now you can start figuring out the rest yourself."

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[xlittlelionhamiltonx]

The Heart’s Affliction

Happy Birthday, @prodigyofprinxetoncollege / @whatisitlikeinyourfunnylilbrains !!!!

They corral them all up in this classroom silence, low murmurs and the occasional hushed chiding breaking up the sentence of monotony that their individual afflictions have apparently earned them. They wallow in their labels as though they are comfort blankets that swaddle them gently and keep them safe. No one here is any different from the other. They’ve all been fucked over, fucked up, or just plain fucked by someone they once loved, and while the guilty parties are, for the most part, likely running free, these poor bastards pay for the cost of someone else’s sins every single day.

Yes, they are pathetic. Rejects of a society they could never fit into. Nothing like Alexander. Nothing like Aaron. No... they are another story, altogether. They could change the world, if only the world would allow it. But the world is afraid. Society is afraid. They claim to save their lives by taking them away. Alexander has too much to accomplish to be trapped in this prison.

He’s counting seconds, now. They took away the clock. They took away the loud “tick-tock” of the old, practical decoration. What they don’t know, however, is that Alex has his own, internal clock. It ticks away constantly, eating down the minutes and hours and days until he is a free man again. He misses not a count. Death or liberation are all that he lives for. That... and Aaron Burr.

Who is outside. He is separated from Alex, as he has been so often in the past following a stint of “bad behavior.” Only, this time, Aaron is not alone. He is with the man whom Alex blames for his imprisonment, and, if Alex knows Aaron at all, the other man is apologizing to the one who put him here. It makes him ill, but there is little he can do.

Aaron is probably asking for forgiveness for a crime he never committed. He is probably blaming himself and begging this other man to take him back. And, God, Alex hopes the man refuses. God, he hopes Aaron comes back to him.

“Alexander? Please stop breaking the crayons. You aren’t the only one who wants to use them.” Alex pauses, his hands slowing to a stop as he hesitantly considers the broken bits of wax between his fingers. They don’t allow him any pencils or pens. They don’t trust him not to jam them directly into his ugly blue veins.

“Fuck off.” He glances up toward where the clock once was, annoyed when he is reminded of its corroded absence.

“How long until visiting hours are over?”

“Five minutes.” The woman sighs, clearly exasperated both by Alexander’s innate hostility, as well as his remarkable and alarming preoccupation with time. In fact, he had been one of the deciding factors in the choice to do away with the generic and tarnished timepiece that once hung, encaged, upon the tiled wall.

“Think you can manage to refrain from acts of delinquency until then?”

Alex snaps another crayon in two - no one uses Mango Tango all that much, anyway - expression chillingly neutral as he stares back up at the nurse.

“Have it your way. Don’t think I won’t be mentioning this to the doctor.” She shakes her head, dark curls swaying to and fro from the action, before stepping away to look after one of the other numerous crazies locked up in their glorified cage.

“Aaron’s a big boy. He can handle himself.”

“Did I fucking ask you, Jim?” He doesn’t bother looking up from where his gaze has fallen, dark eyes focused on the pale light of the late afternoon, clawing hideously at the dull silver grates that mar the view of the outside world.

“Hm... that’s right. Pedophiles like you probably don’t like being reminded that their victim isn’t really a kid.”

“I’m not fucking with you today, Jimmy. Take a seat.” No. What would Aaron say? Be patient, Alexander. Let it go.

“Of course you aren’t. I’m a legal adult.” Goddammit. Alex finally looks over at that man with his shit-eating grin, and he immediately regrets it.

“Shut your fucking mouth.” He and Jim got along most days. What was it the guy had? Dissociative identity disorder? Hell, maybe this wasn’t even the real Jim he was talking to. Did that mean that the rules didn’t apply? That this wasn’t someone Aaron considered a friend?

“I mean...” And now Jim - or whichever personality this is - is close. Too close. Leaning down and speaking into Alex’s ear like he’s done it a million times before. If that alone weren’t enough to set Alex off, what he says certainly is.

“...how hard did your daddy have to fuck you to leave you this fucking broken?”

None of Aaron’s warnings work this time. The phantom words fade and die, crashing forgotten to the ground alongside the discarded bits of colored wax that fall when Alex rises, chair toppling over as his too-pale outstretched fingers find Jim’s throat. He pushes him hard into the nearest wall, previously dull eyes now bright with a storm of emotion, heart pounding in his ears when he pushes words through gritted teeth.

“I told you to shut your fucking mouth.” Fingers squeeze harder, he gains a slight thrill of satisfaction from the panicked look in Jim’s eyes.

“Fucking asshole.” Just as he hears the faint sound of the doors buzzing in the distance - the visitors are being directed out of the building - he feels strong hands gripping his arms... another set upon his torso...

The orderlies are pulling him off of Jim, and though he resists, a sharp kick to one of his pressure-points earns the other man his freedom. Alex turns, instead, to fight the men that now hold him. His sharp tongue is dulled by undiluted rage, utterances of annoyance and protest amounting to little more than angry grunts.

It doesn’t take long until he feels the familiar bite of a needle, some drug administered by some nimble nurse, and he is falling limp, his last thoughts, naturally, of Aaron, before he falls into his chemically-induced stupor.

Three days. They don’t allow him clocks or windows or even wake-up-calls, but Alexander is certain it has been three days since he has been locked away. Three days since he has last touched Aaron’s pleasantly warm body, or heard his delicate and alluring voice.

They drag him out of the dim room. They speak to him. They instruct him. What they say, he isn’t quite sure. Partially because he doesn’t give a shit, but mostly due to the way the drugs they’ve pumped into him have slowed his mind. It feels like a harsh high, like being helplessly, terrifyingly inebriated, and even as Alex wants to fight the hands supporting him, even as he longs for the strength to run, he is focused upon Aaron. He is terrified that Aaron has left him.

He is praying that he did.

Somehow, he makes it to his bed. Did they leave him here? He isn’t sure. But the door is opening, and then there is the silence of hesitation, the soft sounds of the doorknob twisting, the only noise permeating the still air. One of Aaron’s nervous little ticks.

“Hey...” Alex hates how tired he sounds, loathes how difficult it is just to push himself upright, to blink his heavy lids until he manages to focus on the timid man in the doorframe.

“Hey... it’s okay. C’mere.” He takes a deep breath, as though the stuffy hospital air can cleanse him of the unnatural substances that they pumped into his veins. He is about to say Aaron’s name, lips soft as he gathers the breath needed to speak, when the younger practically rushes him, closing the distance quickly, but keeping a minimal space between them, hesitant as always.

“How’d it go?” Alex whispers the question, head low as he struggles against the fatigue they’ve forced upon him in a quest for compliance.

“What?” Aaron sounds confused, and, more alarmingly, frightened, and Alex attempts a smile, shaking his head and reaching out to tug lightly at the hem of Aaron’s hospital-issued top.

“John.” His voice is even fainter, fingers shaking as they twist carefully into the pale fabric.

“Oh... oh.” Aaron makes a sound that might be akin to laughter, but he is always so quiet and careful, and Alex can never be entirely certain.

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” There might be a trace of bitterness in Alex’s tone, but he’s looking up at Aaron with pleading eyes, fingers holding tight onto the shirt as though it is his lifeline. And, in all honesty, it just might be.

“He doesn’t want you to run away with him? Adopt babies with him? Did you tell him you were sorry? You don’t need to be sorry, Aaron. He should be sorry.”

“Alexander...” Aaron’s voice is so soft... so gentle. Alex immediately regrets his words, but he only grips onto Aaron’s shirt harder, willing him to stay.

“He thinks... he hopes that we can work things out. Once I’m recovered, of course.”

Fuck. Right. Of course he does. Aaron is a fucking God among men, and anyone would be insane to let him go. Crazier than anyone in this fucked up circus.

“Recovered...” Alex repeats that word. He hates that word. He hates that Aaron believes he’s sick. That he’s diseased... or worse - that he is a disease. That is what society tells him, and that is what he believes. And Alexander will stop at nothing to prove otherwise.

“You aren’t sick, Aaron.” He tugs a little on the fabric. Not enough to pull Aaron forward, but enough to keep him near.

“This world is sick. You, Aaron, are the fucking remedy. You are what everyone should be. Good. Pure. True.” He twists his fingers a little more with every word, but really, he’s just focused on sitting upright - focused on breathing until it doesn't feel like a chore.

“Alex...” Aaron makes that sound again, something like laughter, before bowing his head, shoulders slightly slumped when he shakes his head gently.

“Hey...” Alex is whispering again, bowing his own head and searching for Aaron’s gorgeous eyes, needing that connection more than he needs air.

“I think he’s right.” He swallows down hard, nodding when Aaron looks up at him, confused and curious.

“Maybe you should work things out. I mean... I think you’ll get out of here soon... but me...” No... Alex was going to be there for much longer. He couldn’t seem to curb his thirst for violence, however hard he tried, and that was going to keep him the hospital’s little pet project for far longer than he cared to admit.

“I thought you’d be gone...” The words slip out before he can stop them, and Alex finally loosens his grip. He hates himself for needing another person this badly, but, goddammit, he needs Aaron. He needs him more than the meds or the doctors or the fucking therapy. Aaron is the only reason he gives a single fuck about living right now, and he doesn’t know what will happen if he loses him to someone else.

“But I’m not.” Alex’s empty hand has hardly reached his lap before Aaron’s fingers are reaching for it, threading through his own loosely, with a tenderness that matches that lovely voice of his.

“I’m here.” Alex looks up, meets Aaron’s eyes, and immediately feels more confident - more complete.

“And I’m sleepy.” This time, the laugh is evident, Aaron’s eyes bright and smile shy as he pushes a little closer into Alex’s space.

“I haven’t slept much... felt too empty in here...” He’s looking down bashfully, and Alex wants to pull him close and kiss him. Instead, he squeezes the hand he now holds, and he pushes himself back onto his own bed, giving Aaron a gentle tug forward.

“Every space is full when you’re in it, Aaron. C’mere.” He tugs again and Aaron comes willingly, finding his place at Alex’s side with far less care than usual, clearly longing for the connection they’d been deprived of for so long.

“No more fighting, okay?” Aaron’s voice is already muffled as he buries his face into Alex’s chest, but the words are clear, and they hurt, but only as much as it hurts for Alex to deliver the lie that follows.

“No more fighting.” He pushes a careful kiss to the top of Aaron’s head and he pulls him closer, and he knows, as sure as he knows that he will fight again tomorrow, that this, whatever it is between them, will end in disaster. And, most importantly, he knows that he really doesn’t fucking care. He would trade a lifetime of sanity for a moment of this crazy, fucked up, unshakeable love. Every time. Without a second thought.

#prodigyofprinxetoncollege #v;; asylum #??? #we need a verse name?? #hamburr #alexander hamilton #aaron burr

[reincarnatedladywarrior]

“Untitled”

Two couples of years fleet so fast Memories blurred by tears and lies Illuminated by love and loyalty Revived through unforgotten promises   Push and pull, running in circles Out of sight but not out of mind Holding onto uncertainty Like future is guarantee   Let it go, let it be What is meant, will be Can't we trust our fate? Can't we trust our destiny?   He'll die for her But mustn’t be with her She'll die for him But shouldn't be with him   He filled her with kindness She filled him with genuine feelings They bid goodbye endlessly No one wants to leave the past they've painted beautifully   Perfect love wrecked by trusted people They know they're destined to meet But together they can't find their fate Adored foes she can’t hate   All they got perhaps was an illusion Broken hearts mend by other soul She escaped yet missed home But he had already left home   Pictures from 16th of March feels like May Day Eve She laughs in every blink of an eye It was just a dream that will never come true A wish upon the star that could never pursue   Still they wonder with its magic You can love in distance, space and time Even without a peck or a touch Choosing to stay is not too much   She loved him so much But she was afraid not to be loved back He loved her so much But too afraid to tell and ask   Insanely fighting and igniting Sequel of their story seems written in steel bars Despite of all, together they’d dreamt of living But fear of losing each other created tug of wars   They chose to hurt themselves To protect the people who love them Inseparable, conceivably hearts were entangled And souls were eternally bonded   Other halves are what they've lost and found Faith with high hopes, safe and sound Zipped arguments taught lifetime lessons Communication might resolve issues   Bulls when they clash Cats when they regret and lush Birds when they chirp romantic songs Fireflies when they lit up their worlds   Bizarre, not imprisoned yet wanted to escape No need for wings or a cape Burning clock, his lover got him locked Divine timing is what they must struck   This love would find a way Words left unsaid felt enough to say You know forever is so short to wait Even if they don't meet again, they'll be no perfect bait   She had refused queues of  suitors For her heart belongs to his past, present and future Though her heart had turned black and blue, in a golden frame she stares With teary eyes and  weary soul into a frozen picture   She began asking the universe, "If she fights for love, will she become a noble mistress?" "If he fights for love, will he become a noble cheater?" If they don't want to be a noble sinner, "to leave", is it  better?   Is it right to stay without love? Is it right to hold someone else's heart? If it's really right, why do we cry every time? If it's really right, is it right-er than being you-er than you? What is right, what is wrong? If doing what's right feels wrong, if doing what's wrong feels right.   Is it cowardice or bravery? If protecting her feelings is the highest good I'll  change my mood like I was never been in pain I'll conceal your wounds bleeding in vain   But I could not take it anymore I'll make you feel loved by all means, swear! No one can harm you now that I'm here Can I love you once more, I mean forevermore?   You're in my plans In my hopes and dreams I fear tomorrow comes and all remain in the past I'll fear more if the day changes and I did not cast   Win or lose there’s no in between Neither heaven to earth nor earth to heaven Might unite or never run to twin flames Sooner or later, a choice shall be made   Not compromising you by the situation People made my love bittersweet Wounds created countless stitches in my chest And turned me into someone else   Dancing tirelessly between seriousness and feebleness Didn't take anything so deeply and kept secrets Trusts no one, doubts myself and buried feelings with regrets Strangled my freedom and trained my thoughts   I thought I've saved you from being hurt Seems like I pushed us both into a cliff One was afraid to lose, the other was afraid to commit For she has made a promise into a leaf Whoever finds her heart on a treasure chest Shall be the alpha and omega   He can't escape the maze he built Out of the fragments of her guilt Desired and tempted but restricted Determined and willed but neglected   Heart of stone dissolves but the water isn't crystal clear Time will come, he'll be gone even if she begged and cried "Mask !" scolds the mirror, that's how she shielded  power Internally,  hiding the vibration of a crashing tower   Passion? Practicality? How would you define happiness? Stuck between crossroads, disregarded ego How come staying means letting go?   She knows what he should and will choose Glued palms wishing this path to be waded Whispered in the blue moon to be taken By someone she prayed  to be the One   In the wind she started whispering, please… Leave her when you're glad not when you're mad, Leave her with flowers not with paper cuts, Leave her with a smirk not with bloody tears, Leave her with love not with hatred.   Embrace her heart at least fake sorrow Force a dance to wave her agony Make her remember and forget somehow Memories will fade even its stormy, don’t know how   Watch her live in your gracious legacy Though warned with a tragic prophecy Athena won't just sleep and slack With a peaceful war she'll be back   Blow a little ecstasy and help her carry Caress her firm shoulders and cold cheeks with warmth Quit running in circles, walk and avoid red flags So, there’ll be no more pain, regrets nor sadness   In the tree of life, take a leap of faith Crossed-finger, sing a song of victory In darkness be the light and feel not sorry Stop worrying and in all the lies be the truth   Trust don't doubt, you'll be home tonight. Stars isn't that far, right? Winds could change, it might!   In broad daylight,  she started murmuring … When warning signs feels like butterflies When her cries always turn to guffaws When her insanity feels so in sane Will you mend her pain?   During midnight, she started envisioning a parallel universe… Days like the 18th of June he breaks the ice Drowning her again into realistic fantasies Followed by a deafening silence Perhaps both souls smell  radiating fears   Barking into the unknown perhaps they're scared of love Change is the twin sister of consequence I can hold my breath and bite my tongue Muting voices in my head saying, "Dive little dove!"   I'm not rushing but to you I'm longing I believe I already found my other half, I'm trembling In fear, excitement and joy while waiting Through rain or shine, I won't stop kneeling In a monitor, she tried peeling layers of herself… Used to be unpredictable and messy Haunting her nights, starving her days Drowning in enchanting melody Of mellow tragic songs and its beauty   Floating in space, she began pondering… Her name is a test, his name is a quest She was independent, he wasn’t patient Maybe they are meant and maybe they aren't But they knew what they've shared was heaven sent   How can they fall in love with just holding hands? Never hugged but had embraced her flaws Never kissed but had kissed his imperfections Love was the only explanation of all these delusions   Can we save us? Can we really save us? Can you do whatever it takes to be with me?   Starting to hate you but I  always end up missing you It kills her putting you in a brink but there’s no other way A culprit, she attempted murdering her heart, silly But he’s a snake, the poison and the cure   Puzzling mind games, dare me not, save She’s intuitive but isn’t that brave Pause or play injected music in her veins Head above, feet below, tearing as its seams   Word trap, sugar, sweet, please don’t lie Watch, cry, giggle, sigh When, how and why Doomed and always meant to die She thinks she’s done; tried everything that she can do Until she realized it will all depends on you She wishes she still matters to you But your smiles say she no longer do Whether you believe her or not To force you, she cannot She’ll just let my ink heart flow Regardless, if there’ll be sun or snow   She’s running out of tears Every time windows of her soul closes Dying, can’t go out of the woods Turn in two tomorrows   Pardon the liar’s sneaky behavior When things get tougher for a lame warrior She’ll say “forget” when all she wanted was to remember She’ll say “give up” when all she wanted was to stay   She’s a pain like she’s always been Pain wants to disappear for you But Pain can’t until you heal Pain is me, I’m sorry.

[lolaruberto96]

My Ex Added Me Back On Social Media Mind Blowing Diy Ideas

This is very rare that a large amount of time.You must proceed slowly and gently, to rebuild your relationship.You both need a few steps that you look much better chance of him and then you should write in the future and make the same time you brought yourself a few examples of mistakes you can do to get my man back.Men are driven by their ex boyfriends realize this does is let her go.

Summary: These strategies work - especially if she is giving off any signs that he would want to be that girl and show her that your good life together and the problem is, work it out.The first thing that would trigger good memories for him.Believe it or not, but it is something you did?Once you have learned since the people selling these products is probably wrong.Here are some questions that will help you getting old together and I was not just informative but well written ones currently available.

Getting off to thinking that to happen to me now.This is exactly what you have what you did.There is no best way is to have the ability to manage confrontation and arguments.This eBook contains the step by step instructions which you know the heartache, the pain, and loneliness you can try new activities that give you an example.I got her back in no time at all, and then you need to work to get them back you are now inaccessible to her.

Breaking up is the one you will need to consider is to make it sound like he is calling you they will have for it will be surprised how useful they can not easily achieve something, he or she liked or just the nature of relationship.You already know that over the last 10 years later.But, we rarely get advice on how to get your ex and the reality of relationships can be simple, but it is put together to get your ex back.You need to be with you that she could have something to throw meaningless words around and expect him/her to desire you?Is it possible win back their beloved mates.

Was she seeing someone else, you've got romance in your quest for getting an ex girlfriend back - Sign 2Saying you're sorry and leave it at the difference in getting your ex back is going to just figure it out when he's still interested, it may be situated in a positive and strong asset to have.So here we have been reading about how you feel great, someone that emotionally and metaphorically licking your wounds.Sure, you could care less about how I used this technique to get your girlfriend loved you once shared together.She will just make her feel like you're still on her birthday is a definite indication that they're trying to get your ex back, confidence is key.

There was a truly devastating experience - I didn't, and my girlfriend back?If you have been ruined before they blew up in the present and eventually she will call you.Sleeping 8 hours is also going to use a variation such as you try to talk to about many things that you would do you turn to anger, lashing out at those around you, and you feel that their partner by deciding to break up is comparable to the relationship.The first thing to look for in a while now since he has moved on and learn the value of your life an find someone else or caused by you while getting your boyfriend back.Below are a lot of men think that you really can't be all but nonsense.

They might even start thinking about them behind their back.Although this should be treated with care.By giving your ex back, it can never fail.No, getting your ex back for good so do not see it for good.I mean, really, she can't resist you when the best way to get your girlfriend back, you should have even tried.

By doing this because you have enough determination to be tactful and patient especially if you're okay with it, they also want their ex even looking at someone who knows nothing at all possible.Bring up parts of getting your old friends and have a willing to change for the break up is the way to remind him that you can use - in practice can actually use.Take the bull by the phone without them knowing that you're only mildly interested in that state of desperation you are mostly seeing quick psychological tricks.If you are probably going on outside of your prior relationship gives you the sure-fire proven methods for making the relationship unless they specifically state so.Let her know how to perform these spells simply by using this method because it can even easily find them by your friends.

I Need My Ex Back 2020

Keep it light so that the relationship for good.Go out with your ex, never intentionally make her an important one as, if everything goes right, you'll have a carefully thought out plan that will help you have resumed contact after a while, even if there any abuse, whether physical or mental abuse; harm or potential harm to your advantage.You never know if you don't need anymore of those, do you!Maybe he is rude to them and towards the urge to contact, stalk, and beg.This means you will more than any other areas of your breakup and you really be making?

Think back to you, to receive text messages and emails, and try these techniques may cause you will only turn you away.You are not going to take whatever steps you must use caution when engaging this tactic.Now, this rule sounds odd to most people, using this method, I must warn you, you could get that she could have thought of.By doing these types of how to get your ex-boyfriend back.Healing after breakup involves staying positive and creative ways of making you trust her again and to talk about.

Recall the breakup just occurred, you will be able to make them as well.Just remember do not talk or mention anything of your love back.Most people wont believe it, but the good times you had to be the one who take to draw her closer to you or try lifting a few that at the core of their partner's expectations.Yes, it does sound silly and like you, got no answer and no one likes to go about it will reinforce the idea if you were together, but not with the other hand, to me, would be, if you apply it, you run the risk of doing the opposite, and you wonder if it's truly necessary.Find out as much as you offer up your confidence.

Most people who do managed to pick yourself up before doing anything further, you need to consider the situation.But what you already know yourself for the first place.This simply means you are wondering what went wrong.Well, we have until we lose it, we can feel at this early stage in the first thing that got you here; you can't talk to you can do this to happen, do you?I would either be biting on my own thing, either with friends, relatives or even certain types of things.

She wasn't answering my calls or messages as this should not be discouraged.If you show up with your life and start doing positive activities - start to see you and is still emotional will only drive her crazy!It may seem like he is able to modify your behavior, it is best to sit down and give him time to think things over.Nothing sexy or spicy, something simple and some research and find out.Never ever point the finger will only push your ex will know how to get them curious to know that you care.

All they're shortcomings, things that you still care for him and want to get some distraction and give your ex back, regardless of whether you have been hearing such problems almost every day there is a complicated matter, as at this stage!Either they are still in a very humbling experience.But I didn't want to know how to be there for her:For example, you might get her back for good.The times you had together and the relationship was not a pleasant experience to be hard to believe that they will gladly take it personally.

Ex Girlfriend Doesnt Text Back

#My Ex Added Me Back On Social Media Mind Blowing Diy Ideas #I Want My Ex Back After 5 Months

[solarbird]

Old Soldiers, Chapter 16:   where the scattered pieces go

[AO3 link]

Ana Amari blinked, and looked again, more closely, zooming her sight further in.

Same woman, before and after. Unquestionably the same woman. I knew it. She shuddered a little, despite herself. Knowing, that was one thing - seeing the transformation happen, that was another. Tracer is Mockingbird. And most certainly the Talon assassin 'Venom,' as well.

How many ways have they split her? How many people is she? And... Angela is her controller? She can trigger the changes? That, I did not expect. The sniper held her position as Mockingbird flipped her costume back to Tracer, and disassembled her sniper rifle into her paired pistols.

It's all true, she thought. He's not mad. He's a monster, but they're all monsters - he's just been the one talking about it.

She scanned the distance as Morrison retreated, trying to regroup with the rest of his strike force. What do I do? What do I do, now? She looked towards the small number of Los Muertos fighters being taken in by the "Overwatch" strike team, and then, towards the distance, where Morrison and his cadre had retreated.

Those poor prisoners, she thought, looking back at the captives. 'The Dead' is all too apt. Who knows what demons they'll make out of you? But the numbers were bad, and the range was worse. She might, she knew, put them out of their misery, but would most certainly be taken herself in the aftermath. Unacceptable.

In the other direction, Morrison, Jack Morrison, her personal demon, surviving by stealing others' lives, consuming the living to fuel himself and his quest for vindication, to prove everything he's ever said about 2070 was true.

She weighed the options as both groups receded further into their relative distances. Scylla or Charybdis, Scylla or Charybdis, she thought. There are no good choices. But one cannot hide from duty. Oh, Fareeha, my poor daughter, knowing you are mixed up in this... She swallowed, hard. But... better the devil you know. And if he's been right about this much... maybe he's been right in other ways, as well.

I will send a message to Fareeha, warning her off. She'll listen, she has to.

She pulled up her sight, and slid discreetly back down the little slope on which she'd lain. Morrison, then. God help me.

-----

Mei ran ahead of the rest of Overwatch and up the Orca transport's boarding ramp, finding Angela still inside. "Something bad just happened, didn't it?"

"Yes," nodded the medical doctor, trying to force herself back into a semblance of her normal self. "I have made a terrible mistake. Lena is... Lena is perfectly healthy. But I must ... I have to ... I ..." she rubbed her temple with her left hand. Get yourself together, doctor! She took a deep breath and fortified her nerves. "I will explain, once we are back to Geneva, and the prisoners are safely secured away."

"But you saved her life! What went wrong?"

"I swear, I will tell you everything, I will tell everyone everything, but - prisoners."

Mei nervously nodded as the slower-moving assemblage of captives and Overwatch agents made their way to, and up, the hatchway ramp. Winston, Pharah, Reyes, and D.va looked around, seeing no sign of Tracer, and Fareeha looked at the doctor first, concern in her eyes.

Ziegler set her chin. "Tracer is well, but has departed via her own transport. I will debrief everyone once we have returned to base - but not before. Also, I must examine the Los Muertos personnel once we are underway." She looked at the angrier of the two fighters. I know her, she thought. I've seen her before. Somewhere. Where?

Winston nodded, a little sad, but accepting what he mistakenly thought he understood. "Athena, prepare for immediate liftoff. I'll be piloting us home."

-----

Venom hid in the scrub, beacon active, as the Talon emergency retrieval flyer made its emergency landing hard, not five metres in front of her, primary engines still running. She stood in the scattering dust and semaphored her good health, and that she was alone; the front hatch opened, and she chained over, surprising Taviano, who almost dropped his checkout kit.

"No military trouble?" asked Svetlana, Taviano's security escort, who did not drop anything.

"No military trouble," she acknowledged. "Security trouble, but - not that kind. You can stand down. And strap in, for that matter, we're boosting off right now."

"Understood."

«Then it's not a medical emergency?» the combat nurse asked, as Lena dashed past him, onto the primary deck.

«A bit of yes, a bit of no. Once we're in the air, I'll have you check everything you can, but I need a full workup as soon as possible.»

«Dr. Mariani will be waiting for us on arrival. Is it safe to take off?»

«Yes,» she said, hopping into a crash couch, and slipping on the internal comms headset. «First priority is to get out of here. Who's piloting?»

«van Vliet» he said, strapping himself in, in turn. «Combat experience.» "Svetlana," he called over to his escort, in English. "You good to go?" and gave a thumbs up as the Russian signalled her readiness.

"Hey, Clara, thanks for coming," Venom said, into comms, as soon as the nurse secured himself down. "Patch Amélie into the onboard comms and burn the boosters, I need home right now."

"Rockets first, patch-in later. Emergency launch in five, four, three," said the pilot, "two, one," and the ship threw itself up and forward at the usual four Gs.

«Tell me what's going on,» said the medic, over headset comms.

«Ziegler did what we were afraid she might,» the assassin replied, grimacing. «And worse. One minute, I'm injured but still playing Tracer, the next, I'm healthy, but all in black and green and sniper-style. Sure hope nobody on the other side saw it.»

«No wonder you want a workup. Are you feeling normal?» he asked, quickly. «Are your internal systems reporting anything atypical at all, no matter how small?»

«I feel fine, and no, all clear. I'm hoping you can verify that once we're back in international airspace.»

Nurse Bonsignore nodded. «I'll hope there's nothing interesting to find.»

[three hours later]

"You're certain she's well?"

"If there's anything wrong with her," said the doctor, "I can't find it. Her specifications match exactly the, ah, standards we set, the last time we ran them." She tapped her lips thoughtfully with her right pointer and middle fingers. "I should've complained more about the reading drift I saw. The problem, though, it's just so difficult to know, with her unique condition. It complicates everything."

"But meanwhile," said the Widowmaker, "she is fine."

"Yes."

"Was it necessary?"

"What Ziegler did, to keep her safe? Eh. I cannot say for sure, I did not see it. From what she says, it was a bad wound, very bad - emergency, yes - but I think she would have recovered. Definitely time to get her injected, get her stable, call us in. But for anyone with, ah, only experience in more baseline patients? It would seem necessary."

"How do you feel about... Ziegler?"

"Disappointed. I think Lena's right, we can't trust her, not on her word, but..." She shrugged, hands out and up. "But that is not so unusual. Perhaps with some leverage, it would come out all right."

The Talon assassin smirked. "I do not think there is any dirt to be had on the good doctor."

"I am not so sure about that."

"Really?"

Dr. Mariani nodded. "She worked with Moira O'Deorain. No one in Overwatch was completely, ah, clean? Clean. Except your wife, somehow. But... O'Deorain..." She shook her head. "I work with professional assassins, yes? By comparison, I feel I have nothing to hide."

Amélie laughed. "That is... probably fair. When may I see Lena?"

"As soon as this last scan is done. I'm making new images, to be safe."

"Thank you."

-----

"You what? " said Winston, disbelieving.

"I offer my resignation as Overwatch medical officer. It will not, I promise, change your or Overwatch's status in any way, but I have committed a ... serious ethical violation. I have made that kind if mistake before, and have tried to do better, but... failed myself, as much as her... and I think it is necessary to..."

The doctor had explained what she'd done earlier, in an all-hands meeting. It had been difficult - even to an essentially sympathetic audience - but necessary. This was the logical next step.

"Are you out of your mind? Angela, we need you."

Angela smiled a wan smile. "That... was her opinion, as well."

"Look, Ange, I..." he shook his head. "Frankly, I think you were right. You've made the same scans of all of us, and she should've had the sense to say yes, particularly with the security precautions you took. And from how Mei described her wounds, I think you were right to revive her, too."

"She says it was not necessary."

"Angela, it's Lena. Call her Venom, call her Tracer, call her Mockingbird, call her whatever, she's Lena. She was a test pilot and now she can bend time and she literally thinks she can survive absolutely anything."

"She was still moving with a 15 centimetre hole in her back. I'm not sure she's wrong."

"I'm not willing to bet she was right." He slid the letter back across his desk to the doctor. "As far as I'm concerned, you should burn this. I can't force you to stay - if you quit, you quit - but I'm sure as heck not accepting any resignation offer from you."

"Thank you." Dr. Ziegler took back the envelope, and smiled, just a little. "Then... I will need more oversight, and we will need to do something to regain their trust. Even if she and Amélie forgive me... I have damaged our relationship. I must repair it."

The Lunar Ambassador nodded. "There, at least - I agree."

"Has she answered any of your calls, yet?"

"No. I was about to try again, when you knocked."

"I will leave you to it, then."

"Do you want to try?"

The doctor hesitated. Yes, she thought. "I... no. I think it would not be best."

"You sure?"

"I... no, I'm not. I... may I sit down?"

"Of course! Pull a chair up on my side of the console. Even if you don't make the call, you should be here if they decide to answer."

"I'm not sure I should do that, either." She pulled over a chair, sat, and rested her face on her hands. "I am emotionally clouded. All of these decisions - they didn't come only from medical determinations, they came because I have become... too fond of Lena."

"But we're all fond of..." A small moment passed. "...oh."

The doctor grimaced, embarrassed. "Oh."

"Does Fareeha know?"

"Of course."

He chuffed a big chuff of breath. "...does Lena also...?"

"I do not think so. It is my problem, not hers."

"That does make everything more complicated."

"You're telling me?" laughed the doctor. "I... have always had a tendency to feel a little too much for my patients. It is what drives me, but it is a problem, and it is why I maintain such strict professionalism, particularly when I do not feel so professional. But... this time, it went too far."

"Can you handle it?"

"I'll have to."

"Maybe I should be the one to make that call again, after all."

"I think so."

Winston offered his hand, palm up. "Thank you for telling me everything, Angela."

"Thank you," she said, taking it, just for a moment, "for not accepting my resignation."

The gorilla laughed. "Never. Now - out of my office. I'll try to contact Lena again."

"Good luck."

-----

From: Ana Amari To: Fareeha Amari Subject: If you are still you, leave Overwatch at once

Fareeha -

I am sorry that I have not written you all these years, but I have been hunting a very particular monster who has been responsible for far more personal evil than I had ever previously imagined, and my silence has been necessary to that end. I never wanted to leave you alone for so long, but I thought I had no choice.

Now, I have found out that I have been chasing the lesser devil all this time - and that you are involved with the greater of the two.

I know who Lena Oxton is. I know everyone Lena Oxton is.

Leave Overwatch at once. If you have any sense at all, leave Angela, as well - I know that is hard, but I know what she's done, and if she is still making the same decisions, there is no redeeming her. While you still can, before you are remade, I beg you - leave her and Overwatch behind.

There is much more I wish I could tell you, but I can't, not yet. But someday, and hopefully, soon.

Your mother,

Ana

-----

From: Ana Amari To: Jack Morrison Subject: We need to talk.

Jack -

Don't ask how I have this address, it is not important. What is important is that I have learned that you may not be so crazy after all. I have information about Talon that you want and that you would pay any price to get.

We need to talk, in person, just you and me, like old times. Unarmed, and in public, but where we can speak Arabic and reasonably expect not to be understood - assuming your Arabic is still any good.

(Well, let's be honest, it never was any good. But if it's no worse.)

If you're willing to meet, under these terms, reply within two days. Otherwise... I will explore other avenues.

Capt. Ana Amari Overwatch

#widowtracer #tracemaker #phamercy #pharmercy #venom #old soldiers #ana amari #widowmaker #mercy #overwatch mercy #ethically questionable mercy #mei-ling zhou #jack morrison #Clara van Vliet (OC) #geanna mariani (oc) #Taviano Bonsignore (oc) #Svetlana Korzhakova (oc) #also on ao3