for a while i lived in an old house; the kind u.s americans don't often get to live in - living in a really old house here is super expensive. i found out right before i moved out that the house was actually so old that it features in a poem by emily dickinson.
i liked that there were footprints in front of the sink, worn into the hardwood. there were handprints on some of the handrails. we'd find secret marks from other tenants, little hints someone else had lived and died there. and yeah, there was a lot wrong with the house. there are a lot of DIY skills you learn when you are a grad student that cannot afford to pay someone else to do-it-for-ya. i shared the house with 8 others. the house always had this noise to it. sometimes that noise was really fucking awful.
in the mornings though, the sun would slant in thick amber skiens through the windows, and i'd be the first one up. i'd shuffle around, get showered in this tub that was trying to exit through the floor, get my clothes on. i would usually creep around in the kitchen until it was time to start waking everyone else up - some of them required multiple rounds of polite hey man we gotta go knocks. and it felt... outside of time. a loud kind of quiet.
the ghosts of the house always felt like they were humming in a melody just out of reach. i know people say that the witching hour happens in the dark, but i always felt like it occurred somewhere around 6:45 in the morning. like - for literal centuries, somebody stood here and did the dishes. for literal centuries, somebody else has been looking out the window to this tree in our garden. for literal centuries, people have been stubbing their toes and cracking their backs and complaining about the weather. something about that was so... strangely lovely.
i have to be honest. i'm not a history aficionado. i know, i know; it's tragic of me. i usually respond to "this thing is super old" by being like, wow! cool! and moving on. but this house was the first time i felt like the past was standing there. like it was breathing. like someone else was drying their hands with me. playing chess on the sofa. adding honey to their tea.
i grew up in an old town. like, literally, a few miles off of walden pond (as in of the walden). (also, relatedly, don't swim in walden, it's so unbelievably dirty). but my family didn't have "old house" kind of money. we had a barely-standing house from the 70's. history existed kind of... parallel to me. you had to go somewhere to be in history. your school would pack you up on a bus and take you to some "ye olden times" place and you'd see how they used to make glass or whatever, and then you'd go home to your LEDs. most museums were small and closed before 5. you knew history was, like, somewhere, but the only thing that was open was the mcdonalds and the mall.
i remember one of my seventh grade history teachers telling us - some day you'll see how long we've been human for and that thing has been puzzling me. i know the scientific number, technically.
the house had these little scars of use. my floors didn't actually touch the walls; i had to fill them with a stopgap to stop the wind. other people had shoved rags and pieces of newspaper. i know i've lost rings and earring backs down some of the floorboards. i think the raccoons that lived in our basement probably have collected a small fortune over the years. i complain out loud to myself about how awful the stairs are (uneven, steep, evil, turning, hard to get down while holding anything) and know - someone else has said this exact same thing.
when i was packing up to leave and doing a final deep cleaning, i found a note carved in the furthest corner in the narrow cave of my closet. a child's scrawled name, a faded paint handprint, the scrangly numbers: 1857.
we've been human for a long time. way back before we can remember.
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I have this concept where clover revives after the barrier is broken and they get to reunite with all their friends, but i wanted to add more onto that and make them have a sibling-like relationship with frisk!! they're so adorable,,,
idk maybe i'll talk more about it in the future
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going to disneyland with your kids and you get seated next to green lantern on splash mountain but you have a secret identity and he doesn’t so you just kind of have to pretend you don’t know each other
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was gonna make a joke about this and have this be a shitpost instead but honestly may pass out soon so I'll type this seriously cause I have no energy to come up with a clever joke
it's interesting how vox's insults in stayed gone are literally just different ways of saying "you're old and outdated you're old and outdated you're old and outdated you're old and outda" tackled with a bit of "you're a coward" in there, whereas alastor's insults are not jabs at vox being new or modern tech, but rather his practices, "clout-chasing mediocre video podcast" he's saying he's a pandering, attention-seeking sellout, and he targets at vox's insecurities, questions his power, then makes fun of him for still being salty about his rejection.
I feel like it's pretty telling how vox's insults are just SO shallow, while alastor's cut deeper and more personally. while you could say, alastor may be just better at roasting than vox, I feel like it could also tell you something about alastor's hatred of vox being based on actual reason, which makes sense, he is the one who rejected the idea of being on a team with vox, the one who decided to make the decision to step away from their friendship. there were likely legitimate things about vox that alastor started to notice he didn't like.
whereas vox's hatred is extremely petty, he's still pissy over that rejection, he has no reasonable reason to hate on alastor's practices or medium. literally ALL he has is constantly repeating how tv is better and newer and how radio is worse and older, that he literally uses that SAME snap back even after alastor has his part "what a dated voice!" "you're looking at the future! he's the shit that comes before that!". he has NOTHING on alastor. if you asked him to make a list about what he hated about alastor he would probably just give you 10000 synonyms of "he's old and outdated" and be unable to come up with anything non-superficial. because the falling out on his part, from his perspective, was being rejected. and after that, BLIND RAGE. he hates alastor. he does. but he can't reasonably tell you why.
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