#martins flabbergasted

[cult-of-the-eye]

Jonathan Sims is the type of guy to sit and watch ninja warrior with Martin and then all deadpan point at the TV and say "I could do that" and then gets up and fucking does a handstand into a back handspring or whatever then sits back down on the sofa and puts Martin's arm back around his shoulders. Yeah.

#martins flabbergasted #that's the only word for it #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #tma headcanons #ninja warrior #he like ignored martins reaction the whole time as well

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Okay, but for one of these inevitable many dance challenges (and I hope there are many, these are always fun imo), I really just need just *one* of them to guest star Martin Callaghan, Hal Fowler and Jacinta Whyte sitting befuddled on a couch like what in *hell* is happening

#in character of course #they're cool old people but d gus and griz just *flabbergasted* at all of this #martin would join one he seems like a fun guy #extemporize back chat

[natailiatulls07]

When they lost her

2023 formula one grid & female!driver!reader

Warnings - Death, crying, car crash

Summary - After a horrible accident on track, the other drivers have to learn to cope with the death of someone very dear to all

Part 2

-

Y/n was always a joy to be around, always had a smile on her face, curious about how you are and would never fail to make someone laugh. Aside from her warm hearted attitude, she was also well known for being a incredible driver.

That morning, Y/n had brought in a selection of homemade baked goods to share amongst the drivers and the staff. Everyone extremely thankful for the goodies.

Only a few hours before, the driver was seen doing a wholesome interview with the fellow sky sport commentator, Martin Brundle.

“Martin! Hey do you want some cookies?” The women ran over to Martin who was flabbergasted by the girls upbeat attitude even though she had an intense race later that day.

“Oh thank you so much, now Y/n tell me how can you be this happy even though you have a fierce race today?” It was something many fans and viewers were keen to know, jealous of her calmness.

“Well in all honesty Martin, I am absolutely terrified. However, one quote that stuck with me in my 20 years of life is fake it till you make it! So that’s what I do” Y/n’s voice was sincere. “Well I got to deliver the rest of these before all the boring serious stuff begins so bye bye Martin and bye bye my loyal viewers!”

Waving goodbye to the camera, the girl ran off to find more people to share her delightful treats with.

-

“Radio check please” Y/n’s race engineers voice came through her ear piece, awaiting her reply.

“I’m a Barbie girl in world! Life in plastic, it’s fantastic” Her singing could be heard from the radio, alerting the engineer of her connection.

She sat snug in the sport car, eager to start the race. To left was one of her favourite British man, Lando, racing for McLaren. She raised her hand up waving in his direction, which he happily replicated.

It was long until the five red lights flashed off and the cars started down the track.

-

After about 20 laps of the track, it had started to heavily pouring rain. This was something that started to worry the female.

Soon enough the track had grown incredibly slippery, yet they were told to carry on with the race.

Only then did Y/n’s anxiety grew massive. Try to calm herself down, she had lost some focus on the race in general. This had caused her lose control over her car.

Spinning off track, the car had flipped over. The racing car landed on the ground completely flipped over. This had crushed Y/n inside with no way of escaping.

This also knocking the women unconscious.

-

Immediately the other drivers were instructed to return to their garages until they were given the all clear.

Upon hearing about the accident everyone had grown increasingly concerned with the lack of contact on the females part.

It wasn’t long before medics were sent out to Y/n. A curtain was pulled across the car, providing privacy.

“It seem that Y/n’s car as been covered with a curtain, whilst the rest of the drivers have been told to return to their pits” Martins voice was somber, he had his worries for the girl who never failed to brighten up his grid walks.

-

“Lewis, we have a red flag please return”

“Lando, red flag. You need to return to pit”

“Carlos, please return to pit. It’s a red flag”

All the remaining drivers had gotten the news off their engineers. Compliant, everyone made their individual ways to the pits.

“What is going on?! Where’s Y/n?!” Charles had anxiety pumping through his veins, making his way to her pit.

It was fair to say that all the drivers shared the same concerns for the young wholesome driver. She was their little sister, most had seen Y/n grow into the grown women she is today.

-

The medical team had made their way over to the flipped car, starting immediately to try and get the driver to safety.

They had pulled her unconscious body from the car. Laying her down on the ground, rushing to check her pulse.

Checking her neck. Nothing

Checking her wrists. Nothing

They had checked three times and each time receiving no pulse.

“No pulse…she’s gone” The solemn voice of a medic could be heard in the garage. By then, all the drivers and engineers were gathered around the main radio, everything fell silent at the short announcement.

Charles felt tears fall down his cheeks, his chéri was gone. To his left, you could see Lando’s face of surprise and sorrow, he had just lost his bestfriend.

That day all the teams joined together to grieve the death of the paddocks little sister. Fans paid their respects to Y/n’s family on social media.

Since that day, the paddock no longer felt the same warmth that she brought even on her harder days, it was something that was lost when they lost her.

-

#formula one x reader #charles leclerc x reader #max verstappen x reader #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #charles leclerc #max verstappen #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo

[candlecoo-sideb-art]

has lonely au martin ever met gerry? i imagine the lukases had at least one leitner that mary keay wouldve wanted

they have met, but Gerry was flabbergasted the first time they met.

#made for the lonely au #tma au #gerry keay #tma gerry #gerard keay #martin blackwood #tma martin #lonely!martin #lukas!martin #tma comic #tma fanart #tma art #tma #the magnus archive fanart #the magnus archive #the magnus archives #digital art #fan art #art #my art

[autisticsupervillain]

The Magnus Archives AU: The Magnus HR Department

Because the Distortion is kinda sorta Michael, it's still under the contract for Elias that Michael signed. Distortion Michael finds its plans derailed by having to still work at the Institute. With nothing else for the Spiral agent to really do, Elias makes him head of HR, tasking him with feeding anyone who complains too much to the hallways. Archive staff is exempt because Elias still needs them so Michael has to settle for being an unbearable coworker to Jon instead of killing him as planned.

Jon only discovers this when he takes Not-Sasha to the HR office to help fix her computer for the fiftieth time and sees Michael sitting there with bags under his eyes and a cup of glowing coffee. Not-Sasha has an existential crisis when Michael explains the situation, realizing that they might be stuck under Elias's contract too. This being Season 2 Jon, this breakdown only further convinces him that Sasha is trustworthy and everyone else isn't. How else would you react to finding out the eldritch abomination stalking you was now your co-worker?

Not-Sasha tries to quit, but Elias makes it clear he knows exactly what they are and reassigns them to HR to keep them from trying to kill his employees. Elias is hoping this'll provoke the Stranger cult to attack the Institute so Jon can get marked by them, but Nikola thinks this situation is hilarious and leaves them be so she can hear about all the juicy Magnus office drama instead.

The Archive Staff try to be sympathetic to "Sasha" being stuck working with her stalker and Tim even threatens Michael not to lay a hand on her. Jon stops by to offer his support to Sasha and Michael is flabbergasted to see a Head Archivist who actually cares about his employees. Not-Sasha is just annoyed.

Everyone outside the Archive staff thinks that Michael is just a myth, until one day he walks out into the break room, nabs some random guy, and drags him back to the HR Office so Michael can "hear his complaint". After three minutes of screaming, the guy is never heard from again. Everyone tries to resign in mass after that, but Elias tells them to take it up with HR. No one does.

Martin thinks he's protecting the staff by satiating Michael with tea. Michael plays into this because he thinks its funny. And the tea is really good.

Not-Them uses Michael's hallways as an uber to report back to the Circus about their ritual plans. And to gossip with Nikola about the burgeoning Jon Martin love drama.

Not Sasha's new responsibilities keeps them from trying to kill anyone and Sasha's absence keeps Jon from investigating her and discovering the truth, so they survive undercover past Season Two. Instead, Jon happens across Jurgen while investigating the tunnels and the rest plays out as in canon from there.

When the Unknowing is foiled, Not Sasha gets their revenge by being maliciously compliant, become a very helpful HR Rep who improves the workplace in ways that help employees but inconvenience Elias/Peter. Michael helps because Peter keeps sending bad employees to the Lonely instead of letting him eat them, so he's pissed too.

While annoying Jon in his office one day, Michael notices Jon about to burn Gerry's page and swipes it from him. When Michael reads Gerry's page, he explains that if the contract can keeo Michael on staff now that he's the Distortion, then Gerry probably still works here too now that he's a book. The HR Department now spends all of Season 4 complaining about Gertrude and passive aggressively annoying Peter, with Gerry as an unofficial member (no one can find Peter to ask him what Gerry's job should be now).

Finally, the Season ends with the HR Team preventing the apocalypse by realizing that Elias technically isn't protected by the contracts while in prison, so Michael just stops by jail and yeets him into the hallways. Jon kills Peter to save Martin and Martin is now head of the Institute, working to undo the damage Elias and Peter did while trying to keep the HR Team in line. They can't hurt anyone else while working for him, after all.... mostly.

#the magnus archives #tma spoilers #michael shelley #michael distortion #not them #gerry keay #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #elias bouchard #jonah magnus #peter lukas

[obsessed-with-timeloops]

The Magnus Archives spoilers but I keep thinking about Jon and Martin landing in the ISAT universe when the fears arrive but like. Right after post loops. So it ends up like:

1) They save these two weirdly accented guys (where one of them clearly has been stabbed holy shit) only to possibly be immediately told that they just got a bunch of evil gods in their world (oops)

2) Jon's eyes absolutely have color when Knowing things or using Eye powers in general.

3) The loops 100% count as a statement and Jon is purposely trying not to be alone with Siffrin so he doesn't munch on their trauma

4) Triple ace solidarity ruined by the knowledge their world is doomed to be plagued by fear gods U.U

5) Martin: "Jon did the fears turn this world black and white" Bonnie:"what's black and white?" Martin: "what" Bonnie: "what" Isabeau: "No but seriously what's black and white." Odile: "I think they're implying that colors exist in their world." Jon: "I see. Colors are apparently unnatural to this world." Martin: "Like that one Lovecraft story?" Jon: "what". Martin: "You know colors beyond our comprehension and what not?" Jon: "I- I suppose??" Bonnie: "Hey! Could this Lovecraft guy be from our world?" Mirabelle: "Wait no. These two just arrived here??? Unless time messed up too???" Jon: "Trust me you do not want to claim him."

6.a) Jon looks at least 10 years if not older than he actually is. He also probably can get along better with Odile anyway. Plus with different universes as backgrounds, the lack of general knowledge around his age wouldn't be obvious. Cue the moment where Jon is asked how old he is and the absolute AWKWARD silence when it's clear that both Jon and Martin are basically Siffrin's age, give or take a few years.

6.b) Bonnie: "Is 30 years old different in your universe? Are you about to die?" Jon: "From embarrassment, perhaps."

7) General discussion/argument/existential dread regarding the Fears and how they interact with this world. Honestly the gang may never forgive Martin and Jon for doing this to them. Even if they do everything they can to help them. They get more sympathy once they find out about the Eyepocalypse and the absolute hell Jon in particular went through. Doesn't mean they have to like it.

8) Siffrin finding out about Jon's knowing powers and asking him if he can Know the name of the island in the North. Jon tries. Then he starts screaming. His eyes are red. Siffrin doesn't ask again.

9.a) The horror and dread knowing that not only is their mission not done. It can't be ever again. And this time, especially if Jon and Martin's story is true... well, the King wasn't easy, but at least he was a person. You can't exactly fight a distorted universe. Their happily ever destroyed forever.

9.b) I could see a physical confrontation happening... if Jon didn't look so absolutely devastated. If he didn't say "do what you will with me, but please leave Martin alone" and Martin yelling at him for being a self-sacrifical idiot. It just sucks so much all around. But it would have been easier if Jon and Martin were bad people. But they're not. Just... broken people doing their best in a broken world. And to do their best to save their own world, the family has to work with them.

9.c) Jon and Siffrin are also idiots with martyr complexes that refuse to talk about their feelings solidarity. Shame that Jon can't help but want to eat Siffrin's trauma cause they probably have a lot to talk about.

10) Funnier note, the slow realization that Jon and Martin in an rpg world. Martin figures it out first and Jon is just. Flabbergasted. Especially when they find out the magic system is rock paper scissors.

11) "rock paper scissors transcends the multi-verse. Neat!" (Later Martin asks Jon if gun is secretly a fourth hand symbol. He does not know and will not Know. He refuses).

12) I think at one point they're gonna have to deal with the fact that statements don't exist in this world. Either Jon gets too close to taking Siffrin's statement or he's going to tell Martin the facts: there is very little way Jon can survive without being a predator. He is an avatar that needs something to fuel his existence. He doesn't want to hurt anyone else ever again. Unless Siffrin wants to write their statement down or someone else does... even then there's no guarantee it's going to be enough.

13) Perhaps wish-craft can save Jon. Maybe. Maybe not. But. The party tells them about wish-craft anyway. It's the one hope they have to fight against this new horror. Maybe it can help Jon too to get out. (Everyone deserves that chance).

I have no fic with this, my fixations are simply crossing over briefly. Hope you enjoyed the ramblings.

#tma #tma spoilers #isat #isat spoilers #this is entirely self indulgent dont mind me #yes there is an implication that Jon and Martin lost their colors in the transition between worlds #in stars and time

[pencil-peach]

GWitch Onscreen Text: Episode 7

This is part eight of my attempt to transcribe and discuss all the monitor text in g witch! Because I got worms! We're on episode 7, "Shall We Gundam?"

Now then. Shall we? (Gundam?)

Not text, but in the opening, Vim tells the Peil Witches that it's despicable of them to breach the Cathedra Agreement, only for one of them to respond that she believes he would know something about that himself. This is our first hint towards the existence of the Schwarzette.

Now to the real text, we see a mockup of the Pharact of it's systems in this opening as well.

Here, we see that the Pharact is 19.1m and 57.1t.

The Blue and Red labels are tough to make out, but they each respectively say the same thing. I'll make my best guess: Blue labels: G-O | SYS-GUND CHH Red Labels: GUND FORMAT | CORAX UNITS

The Corax Units are the name of the Pharacts GUND Bits, and we know those use the Gund Format, so that checks. We saw 'CHH' on 4's data graph, still not sure what it means though.

I think the floating red text says GA - MS//RACT, but I can't be sure. The big label in the center says GUND-ARM FP/A-77.

Not text, but I think Sarius and Delling is another relationship I wish we got to see more of. Delling actually worked directly under Sarius within Grassley before eventually becoming President of the entire Group.

During the scene in the greenhouse, we get a look at the program on Miorine's monitor. No way to read the actual text on it from this shot, but we do see Miorine verify the name of one of the brands of fertilizer before presumably typing it on the screen, so it's probably safe to assume it's tracking the general maintenance of the tomatoes.

We never get a completely clear shot of the Incubation Party Invitation (Because it just can never be easy) But I'll make my best estimate of it from the shots we DO get.

TEXT: SUBJECT: INCUBATION EVENT PARTY INVITATION & APPLICATION GUIDELINES FROM: BENERIT GROUP PROTOCOL MANAGEMENT OFFICE

INVITATION The Benerit Group has the great honor of inviting you to the 15th Incubation Event.

Off topic but this scene has one of my favorite Miorine Noises in the whole show. It's so good. Take a listen. She is Flabbergasted.

TEXT: 15th INCUBATION EVENT PARTY Hosted by BENERIT GROUP

Pretty...

The Mobile Suits on display aren't named, but the one in the back right is actually the YOASOBI Collaboration Version of the Demi Trainer.

(YOASOBI are the musical duo that composed Shukufuku)

I wont bore you with a 1 to 1 transcription of the text of this first presentation, so here's the general overview.

This is PRESENTATION No. 001 for the Incubation Party from TENGRIFF SOLUTIONS. They're asking for 100,000,000 to develop an INTEGRATED FIRE CONTROL SOFTWARE. What that means generally is that they want to develop a software that can automatically correct/redirect an MS's aim to a specific target, in both Individual and Team based MS Operations. The benefits of this system are: AUTO TRAJECTORY CORRECTION AUTO CORIOLIS CORRECTION AUTO GRAVITY CORRECTION FIRE CONTROL FORMS BATTALION HIGH SPEED TARGET DATA LINK HIGH PERFORMANCE SPOTTING SYSTEM ALL ENVIRONMENT CONTROL SYSTEM

Unfortunately this project did not meet the 75% formation requirement and DIED

Funny Shaddiq Expression. I don't think he ever makes a face like this for the rest of the series.

[Pointing] One of the two times throughout the series we see any pat of Notrette. The only other time is in the second season opening.

We see VIM JETURK on Lauda's screen when he's calling him. (The "Accept" button actually darkens when Lauda taps it)

This scene is our first look into Nika's role as a go between for Shaddiq, and also how it'll be a main point of conflict between her and Martin, as he's the one who sees the two of them talking.

(Also, Shaddiq has a habit of abruptly lowering the tone of his voice to signify a change in his demeanor. If you ever rewatch the series again, try and listen for it ! He does it all the time)

TEXT (Top to Bottom) BENERIT GROUP NETWORK CONNECTION ^ ACCESS REQUEST ACCESS POINT: STAGE SCREEN LINE CODE: 2915.455X.eX STATUS: APPROVAL PENDING LINE CODE: Yds2.4006.40 LINE CODE: 2945.Rr50.52 LINE CODE: KL40.024c.R2

Miorine's phone when she requests access to the Stage Screen

When she gets approved and begins connecting, her phone displays this loading screen called SYNCHRONIZE

And the stage screen is displaying that same loading screen for a split second before fully connecting.

Miorine explains what this all means in the show proper, so I feel it'd be redundant to explain it, but here's the presentation anyhow.

We also see the UI of the program Mio is using in the presentation. She only uses the MEMO tab, but we see that there's a TEXT and PICT tab as well.

When Miorine takes the phone back from Delling, the investment status has reached 3%, meaning he invested 7,200,000,000 in the company. Mama Mia !

Business Successfully Formed!

But it seems that they only reached the bare minimum amount, 75%. So of the 240,000,000,000, she requested, the company earned at LEAST 180,000,000,000

We also see that Miorine’s presentation is only the 5th one of the night.

And that's all! Thank you very much! Unfortunately I can't leave anymore images because I've somehow reached the image limit :(

Instead I leave you with this: Go back and watch the scene where Miorine and Suletta see Prospera and Godoy. After the scene where Suletta greets him, they keep drawing his face wrong. Okay! Goodbye....!

Click here to go to Episode 8!

Click here to go to the Masterpost!

#g witch #gundam the witch from mercury

[thephilibetharchive]

Lol hi I’m the previous anon back again I found the book it was from.

“After dinner, Whitlam gave the Queen a birthday present: a “deep-piled cream sheepskin rug,” which she and her sister flirtatiously sat upon after it had been spread on the floor of the drawing room. “That evening she was quite determined to catch her man,” Martin Charteris told author Graham Turner. “A lot of her sexuality has been suppressed, but that night, she used it like a weapon. She wrapped Gough Whitlam round her little finger, knocked him sideways. She sat on that rug in front of him, stroked it and said how lovely it was. It was an arrant use of sexuality. I was absolutely flabbergasted.” Whitlam later said to Charteris, “Well, if she’s like that, it’s all right by me!”

- Elizabeth The Queen The Life of a Modern Monarch by Sally Bedell Smith

She’s a certified man eater y’all.

IVE BEEN TELLING YALL MFS FOR YEARSSSSSSANDNADKJSKW

#love this #good for my sister! #asks

[shiningfennec]

not me doing a crossword seeing a question "the name of Scorsese's, an American movie director", punching the air triumphantly while screaming "Yes! Yes! Martin!!!" and then having to explain the Goncharov phenomenon and how tumblr works to my flabbergasted mom

#goncharov #i'm polish so the crossword was a polish one of course #and i'm known in my family for a definitive lack of knowledge on movie actors and directors #not to mention american ones #so my mum was very surprised i know the answer #she took the explanation quite well #we were doing the crossword together btw we both love them

[stackslip]

literally wild how american leftists will (rightfully) decry anybody becoming a cop, or working for the police, but will then ardently defend working for a defence contractor that designs and sells drones and missiles for profit, bc what if the person doing so is disabled or trans? blatantly saying that cops are bad bc they oppress them domestically but it's morally fine to participate in murderous imperialism worldwide and help sell the missiles that blow up people in yemen, bc people in the global south aren't people. utterly flabbergasted and enraged.

like, saying that we should disbelieve kiwifarms as a source? a thousand times yes. i have no idea if that dude actually does work for lockheed martin, because i dont trust kiwifarms. but this isn't the discourse—people are flat out going "who cares if he works for lockheed martin, if he does it's not that big a deal because capitalism and trans and disabled people need to work to survive and he does good activism etc etc". like sorry but no! this isn't an argument! it's basic principles. it isn't No Ethical Position Under Capitalism, it is the bare minimum if you pretend to care about human life. you do not work for an arms manufactor. you do not defend the idea that it's ok to work for an arms manufactor bc you're disabled or lgbtq+ and struggle to find another job. this is more than a line in the sand its a fucking trench, you don't work for cops and you don't work for the army and you do not help build weapons that are sold exclusively for the purpose of murdering people in countries you can't even bother learning the place on a map. and if you do decide to do that or find it morally acceptable, then you should just stop pretending to care about any issues outside the usa and admit you only give a shit about the inhabitants of your evil country and maybe the west but people outside the west are not human beings to you. also go fuck yourself and i dont want to speak to you again lol

#eli talks

[kulturkorner]

Fran Lebowitz

Frances Ann Lebowitz (born October 27, 1950) is a loud-mouthed, opinionated American author, public speaker, and occasional actor. Lebowitz is open about her personal life and is a lesbian. She is known for her sardonic social commentary on American life as filtered through her New York City sensibilities and her association with many prominent figures of the 1970s and 1980s New York art scene, including Andy Warhol, Martin Scorsese, Jerome Robbins, Robert Mapplethorpe, David Wojnarowicz, Candy Darling, and the New York Dolls. The New York Times has called her a modern-day Dorothy Parker. Lebowitz gained fame for her books Metropolitan Life (1978) and Social Studies (1981). She has been the subject of two projects directed by Martin Scorsese, the HBO documentary film Public Speaking (2010), and the Netflix docu-series Pretend It's a City (2021).

As an adolescent, Lebowitz was deeply affected by James Baldwin: "James Baldwin was the first person I ever saw on television who I heard talk like that—by which I mean, he was the first intellectual I ever heard talk... And I was just flabbergasted. That made me read him." She also enjoyed watching television appearances by Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley, though she did not agree with Buckley. In 1978, her first book, Metropolitan Life, was published. The book was a set of comedic essays mostly from Mademoiselle and Interview, with titles such as "Success Without College" and "A Few Words on a Few Words". She often detailed things that she found irksome or frustrating in a dry, sardonic tone.

Lebowitz said in a 2019 interview:

"What is culture without gay people? This is America, what is the culture? Not just New York. AIDS completely changed American culture... And with AIDS, a whole generation of gay men died practically all at once, within a couple of years. And especially the ones that I knew. The first people who died of AIDS were artists. They were also the most interesting people... The knowing audience also died and no longer exists in a real way... There's a huge gap in what people know, and there's no context for it anymore."

#fran lebowitz #gay culture #james baldwin #andy warhol

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Bethy got mom a small nutcracker at Walmart. She loved nutcrackers very much and she asked me if I wanted to guess its name.

I struggled. This went on for several minutes before I hit record.

Careful with the volume! @flamingpen18 here we are!

~.O.~

Me: Alright, so, it's not the name of a person. It is the name of a Thing. So, it's not a proper name. You are making it a Proper Noun by making it a name, but it not necessarily a name. So, it's not named after people, which means it's a Thing. But I don't- It's- Is it- Is it an ice cream? Is this supposed to be an ice cream?

Mom: I don't really know what it's supposed to be.

Me: Okay, well, that doesn't help me.

Mom: What it looked like to me-

Me: It's- DONT' TELL ME! *chokes*

Mom: I was like, "That's his name. That's his name right there."

Me: Um... Uuuum. Well because- *flabbergasted* He just looks like a fucking nutcracker with an ice cream thing on top. I don't really -What can it- Okay. Is it in relation to an animal?

Mom: No.

Me: What the f- *slaps knee in frustration* Okay. Is it in relation-

Mom: I'm really concerned. *laughs*

Me: *high-pitched giggles* Is it in relation to a food?

Mom: Yes.

Me: Food, okay! This does not help at all. Is it only a food, or is it used to be anything else or is it just food?

Mom: I have seen Nana use this particular item, that is a food, as something else.

Me: ...Butter?

Mom: No.

Me: *wheezing and cackling*

Mom: *weird look* What does butter have to do with anything?

Me: No! You don't wanna know what I was thinking!

Mom: Never mind, Helen, you are not good at this. OMG.

Me: *wheezing* I have such a headache OMG!

Mom: And you did it to yourself. I hope you're happy.

Me: I CAN'T- I'M TRYING! Okay, so... My throat hurts.

Mom: Doo- doo- doo- That's what happens when you cackle like a hyena.

Me: *wheezing* It's not my fault, I can't- Okay, food. Yeah, but how does it- Okay, but if it's not ice cream then how- *chuckling* Okay.

Mom: What else does it look like?

Me: I DON'T KNOW! He looks like an old man trying to be Santa but as a nutcracker! Okay? *giggles*

Mom: Santa Crackers.

Me: Like... okay. *sniffs* *giggles* I forgot for a second that you said food and I thought, 'nipples' but like-

Mom: *cough* No. No! NO!

Me: *cackles* Well- but you said it was on top of it-

Mom: God, what is wrong with you?!

Me: *giggles* Okay. Okay. *sniffs* I'm okay.

Mom: That's up for debate.

Me: Okay.

Mom: Yeah, you said that but still... *laughs*

Me: *wheezing* Ok- *coughs* Oka- I CAN'T! JUS- Okay.

Mom: STOP SAYING 'OKAY'! WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS NOT OKAY!

Me: I'm- I'm Trying! *wheezing* Okay... *laughs* No! I'm trying!

Mom: *laughs* *coughs*

Me: *clears throat* Oh! Is it a gumdrop?

Me: JESUS CHRIST! *howling laughter*

Mom: *laughs* That's it! Yes! Gumdrop!

Me: OMG! WTF?!

Mom: All that! All that for your foolishness!

Me: I was thinking, I was like, what is that like for?

Mom: It's okay, Gumdrop. Aunt Helen'll be okay!

Me: *giggles* *sniffs* To think, we started off with me asking if it was named Martin. *cackles* And then if it was named Nana. *laughs* OMG, man I am not good at that at all. Okay. Okay so... Okay.

Mom: Ar- You keep saying 'okay' and it is not.

Me: You can't blame be because there was a thing on top of it! *coughs*

Mom: I want you to know that I can do nothing but blame you! *giggles*

Me: There was a thingy on to of it, okay? It- It looked less like that and more like the top scoop of an ice cream cone!

Mom: *mumbles* De scoop. De scoopa.

Me: Like, I'm trying to think of like, fucking food, and I should've asked if it was a fucking snack or some shit, it would've made it fucking faster. *sighs* Okay. My head hurts... and it's your fault.

Mom: ...*offended look*

Me: *wheezes*

Mom: How'd it become my fault?

Me: *clears throat* *sniffs* Because you were relishing in my suffering.

Mom: Well, of course, it was funny. Also, very sad.

Me: *sniffs* You suck.

Mom: No, not really.

Me: *sniffs* Alright.

Mom: I have no interest in that shit.

Me: Okay. Everything's okay.

~.O.~

The offender in question:

#humor #me and mom

[bippot]

Jake Martin thought here

He ironically quotes Fast and the furious movies “We’re family” line specifically but he doesn’t know it’s from tht movie

Ex.

Kevin: Great race today Jake!

Jake: Couldn’t do it without you guys, my family

Amir: isn’t that from Fast and the furious?

Jake: Fast and who now?

Summary: Jake has never watched the Fast and Furious films, so why can he quote them?

Additional Tags: Racing, Workplace, Fluff. Established Relationship, Comedy, Inspired by The Fast and the Furious

The Crew, Jake Martin Masterlist - here

As the end of the current Nascar season came to a close, the guys at Bobby Spencer Racing were elated. Jake had come 4th at the Phoenix Raceway, the final track that would decide how well he was going to do overall. Even Kev would have to admit now that he and Catherine had stopped wasting the team's time by fighting with each other at every chance they got, they were making some serious progress.

"5th! We got a top 5!" Kevin exclaimed, completely flabbergasted that they'd done so well. A year ago making the top 10 was a fuckin' pipe dream, but 5?

Getting a top 5, well, it was a god damned miracle.

Jake, as he always did, paid very little attention to all the cheering as he got out of the car and was zeroed in to find Y/N. She was around her somewhere, he knew that. His eyes scanned everything in his surroundings before landing on the woman he couldn't seem to stop thinking about, and who he was bounding towards with his arms open wide.

"You were so good, speed racer," she cooed, being engulfed in his arms. "I told you that you were going to ace it?" she continued once he leaned back to examine her face. He nodded distractedly, unable to tear his eyes away from hers or even gather the brainpower needed to form words.

He still needed to do press and interviews, and tell Chuck that he did a great job at making the car run, and complain to Kevin that he really should turn the microphone off if he was planning to eat a hot dog during the race, and ask someone to get him a bottle of water because his mouth felt like sandpaper, and did this mean that he was officially off Catherine's shit list? and how did Jessie do in her race?

Tenderly, she gave him a kiss on the cheek - just on the cheek for now - but it still made his knees go wobbly and caused butterflies to erupt in his stomach like it always did whenever she was sweet to him. "Go celebrate with your team, Jakey," she instructed gently, pulling back just a bit and nudging him towards the crowd of his coworkers - who'd become accustomed to Jake practically ignoring them whenever Y/N was around - so he'd begin to walk to where he was needed.

Whatever she'd heard about Jake Martin: The Womaniser had been forgotten about the moment she had met him. He was a flirt, yes, because it's nice to tell people what's on your mind. If he thought someone was pretty or cool or badass, his brain wouldn't be fast enough to stop his mouth saying the words out loud. At some point during his life, he realised that it was easier just to let the words flow and decided that it was better if he let his lack of filter live as it was. For anyone else that could've been a damning choice.

But, because Jake has sunshine coming out of his ass - Jessie often said that he was too stupid to have a mean bone in his body or be duplicitous in any way - it presented itself as Jake complimenting almost everyone he came across. He was one of those boys who appreciates a fine body regardless of the make. An old lady with dyed pink hair? He was telling her about how young he thought it made her look. Any guy that had an ounce of muscle, he was asking about his gym routine. Jake would always love to see kids with cartoon characters on their clothes and would make sure the little one knew that Nascar driver Jake Martin thought they were cool. And, for a while, the majority of people he came across in his life were pretty women that wanted to surround themselves with a pro athlete. Jake was more than happy to indulge them - he's just a man, after all - and that was how the man whoring rumours began to spread.

Yes, he was man whoring but he wasn't a player by any means. He was looking for temporary fun with a woman who was also looking for temporary fun, although it left him feeling a little hollow and used sometimes. Then along came Y/N. Temporary fun wasn't enough for him when Y/N arrived in his life. Not anymore.

At the time of meeting, Y/N had a boyfriend that wasn't Jake. She was a journalist who was commissioned to create the book 'The Trials and Tribulations of Catherine Spencer Racing - A New Age' (Catherine came up with the name) and had been hanging around the crew to get the inside scoop. The crew had their own Trent Crimm - The Independent, on their hands and was thrilled to have someone around to publicise their deeds. Obviously, once Jake heard that Y/N was off the market, he kept his flirting to a minimum. Yeah, he was bummed that the really hot chick who was nice to him at work couldn't be his, but hey, what are you going to do? Steal her away? No, no way! He knew the devastation that cheating can have - hell, he'd never forgive his father for exactly that reason - and Y/N didn't deserve that, even as an implication.

Three or so weeks into the job, they broke up. Jake couldn't say he was disappointed with that development. He waited an appropriate time - well, he waited twenty whole days and had planned to wait a whole month but he got far too impulsive one day - and just went for it. Originally, she said no. It's not professional to fuck one of the subjects of your story prior to the book the publication. That's a conflict of interest. And would seriously interfere with the integrity of her position. Once the book came out, however, that was a completely different story.

All she did was leave him a copy of her book - that was so fresh off the printers it may as well have been still warm - with a note that read 'Still up for that date?' and that was, what they call, history.

"Go, babe, you should go do your job," Y/N urged, barely hiding the smile on her face that came whenever he acted this dopey.

With another push, Y/N did manage to get Jake away from her. Only a little bit. Probably about two feet. He regained his balance and moved back towards her, smiling so goofily as his palms came up to her cheeks and his thumbs swiped against her cheekbone before he was kissing her like there was no tomorrow. She went to say something else but was silenced by another kiss. Then another, And another. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and her fingers tangled in his hair, curling her fist at the crown of his head.

Finally, she pulled back to rest her forehead against his, looking straight into his eyes as she whispered playfully, "Go before you get me in trouble."

"See you as soon as I'm done?" he asked hopefully. They both knew what the answer was going to be.

"Why don't you find out?" she suggested mischievously, enjoying the way he pouted for a fraction of a second before placing a gentle peck on the tip of her nose. Her face crinkled up in amusement and a giggle escaped her lips. She watched as Jake turned on the spot and jogged away in search of his coworkers, his hands stuffed in his pockets, and looked over his shoulder to give his girlfriend a wink just as he was going to turn the corner.

He did, in fact, find out that he would see her after all of his duties had been done. Kevin remarked that Jake seemed very excited - he's just got a really good race position so that was understandable but this was more than usual post driving hype that Jake felt - and had to tug him away by the sleeve so he didn't make a fool of himself aad say something wildly inappropriate on camera.

This shit was tiring! Driving and talking and being all professional takes a lot of energy, and by the time the couple were by each other's sides again, Jake was starting to feel sleepy. He managed to stay awake for an hour or so as the crew went out for celebratory drinks, but they called it quits as soon as his head slumped on Y/N's shoulder.

"You wanna go to bed, pretty baby?" she whispered softly to just him as everyone else around the table was engaged in their own conversations, stroking the soft curls that rested on the top of his head. This earned her a hum from him. "Okay, let's just say goodbye to Beth and Kevin and everyone, yeah?"

Sluggishly, he gave her a nod and allowed her to take the lead as they said their farewells to everyone. No matter how many pats on the back or loud congratulations he got, there was barely any energy left so all he could muster was a weak "Aw, yeah. Thanks, dude" and a floppy wave which everyone acknowledged with an understanding chuckle before letting the pair leave.

"You okay, hot wheels?" Y/N murmured as she led him through the crowd of people towards the exit of the bar, occasionally acknowledging people who were praising Jake for him so he didn't seem rude.

"I'm so tired, baby," he slurred.

"Our room isn't that far away."

She wasn't lying. Within 5 minutes, they were in their hotel's lift and Jake was pressing his nose in the crook of Y/N's neck to muffle the sound of constant yawning, his palm moving lazily along her forearm in a desperate attempt to not to fall asleep standing up. His eyelids started to flutter and close every few seconds; a deep sigh escaped from his lips as his head sank further into Y/N's shoulder.

"Just a few more steps, sweetie. Just a few more minutes and we're there," she reassured him quietly, running a hand gently down his chest and then wrapping her arm around his waist to pull him upright. The lift doors opened at the third floor and Y/N was dragging her boyfriend to their room.

Soon, it was comfortably quiet as Y/N helped Jake undress, chuckling at how soft he looked when he pouted and lifted his arms for her to take off his shirt. He flopped onto the bed as soon as he was in his underwear and waited until she crawled underneath the sheets and snuggled in to him like a cat, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him flush against her as she nestled her chin on his shoulder to watch whatever movie was available on the hotel tv/

Just before he drifted off, he repeated what he'd heard on the tv. "I don't have friends. I've got family," Jake mimicked, going so far as putting on a terrible Vin Diesel type voice that made Y/N laugh. She tried to keep the sound of her amusement to a minimum but couldn't help the shaking of her body.

The entire night was spent with Y/N stroking his hair as she watched a few of the Fast and Furious movies - she had no idea which ones and if she'd watched them in the right order - and soothed him whenever the sounds of the loud car chases started to wake him up. At some point, he even started repeating a few of the lines from the movie that he heard whenever he toed the line between awake and asleep. Parts of the script were subconsciously in his brain now, whether he knew it or not. He referenced it all the time. And he wouldn't find out that fact for a while.

Catherine had allowed him a few weeks off because the season was over and Jake spent as much of time glued to Y/N as possible. She'd begun to start doing her work on a Google Doc so she could use her phone instead of a clunky laptop just so her lap would be free for him to rest his head on.

"My new article is about that new Vin Diesel movie, you wanna come to the premiere with me, Jakey?"

"Yeah, love to."

"Thought you might," she said, leaning over to press a quick kiss to the end of his nose. "Apparently, Mr Diesel's head is supposed to be even shiner in person."

"Which one is Vin Diesel again?" he asked curiously.

There was a bunch of stuff that he said that left her bewildered - whenever he said something so wildly stupid, she was always left lovingly shocked that this doofus was somehow still alive and independent and functioning - but this was probably the most bewildered she'd ever been. Not only because Vin Diesel is a hugely popular actor that has been prevalent in pop culture for over two whole decades, but because he was in a franchise related to cars and racing, and Jake was all about that shit.

The Disney Cars franchise. Herbie. Speed Racer. Talladega Nights. Any Hot Wheels related stuff. That Dreamworks movie about the snail that's basically just Cars but with an anthropomorphic snail instead of a vehicle. Gran Turismo. Baby Driver. And the racing scene in the first Charlie's Angels movie (although she was sceptical if he liked that movie for the cars or how incredibly hot Drew Barrymore and Lucy Lu are). Each of these had a special place in Jake's heart.

"The Fast and Furious guy."

"Never seen it."

"Bald guy? Deep voice. He's always saying shit like 'Family...' and 'I live my life a quarter-mile at a time'."

Y/N blinked. Yet, it did make sense: if he saw those movies, he probably would talk about them every chance he got. No part of his face indicated that he had any idea what she was talking about.

"He's Groot in those Marvel films."

"Oh shit, I love Groot! Hell yeah! I didn't know that was a real guy!"

The most unflattering snort to ever snort came out of Y/N's nose as she laughed, trying desperately to stop herself before Jake thought she was laughing at him. She was. Although, she didn't mean it in a patronising 'haha, look at him, he's so stupid' kind of way, she adored Jake for being a himbo. Her eyes got all soft as she looked into his green eyes. He was smiling and watching her intently. "What's funny?" he asked shyly with a blush, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand.

"You. I love you."

His cheeks grew pinker, and Y/N swore she'd never seen anything so cute before. Yeah, he was ripped and classically handsome, but whenever he was all shy and bashful - something that rarely happened since confidence radiated out of him like a beacon - he looked positively angelic.

A small smirk crept its way across his lips. "So..." he began tentatively, his tone low yet suggestive, "You love me because I'm funny and I don't know this celebrity man?" That smile widened as Y/N rolled her eyes playfully.

"Yep."

"Good. Cause I love you too. Mostly for your boobs, though. They're nice to look at." He gave her an impish grin as he reached for the empty bowl on the coffee table. "And when you go get me another bowl of popcorn? My legs don't work anymore."

"Lazy boy," she teased, ruffling his hair as she did exactly as he asked.

When it was eventually time for Jake to get back to work, all of his coworkers were gathered for a meeting so Catherine could begin yapping on about what new sponsors she was trying to reach out to in front of what she assumed would be a captivated audience of her subordinates.

Kevin was rolling his eyes whenever her back was turned to him. Beth could see a reflection of herself in the back of Catherine's laptop and was trying to get one unruly curl back in its place. Chuck was busy eating a whole leg of BBQ chicken like he was King Henry VIII despite the fact it was 9.30 in the morning. Amir was trying to look as if he was paying attention but there was a bee buzzing around his head and he was allergic to their stings. Jessie and Jake were sitting down at the table and were poking and kicking each other at every chance they got. Nearing the end of Catherine's speech, Jessie managed to wobble the table enough to send Jake's water bottle flying off the table and directly at his dick.

"Oh my god," he groaned, clutching at his crotch and letting his forehead drop to the table. Everyone but Catherine had watched the collision and were all trying not to burst out in laughter.

"You okay, Jake?" Catherine asked. He regained his composure for a second before she added, "Did you want to say something?"

"Did I... Yeah, uh, yes I did," he said, surprising himself with the words coming out of his mouth. "I, uh, I wanted to say that... that it doesn’t matter whether we win by an inch or a mile, winning is winning and a top 5 was definitely a win. Let's do that again. Doing that again would be good."

They all looked at him with a sense of confusion for a minute. He'd strung together a fair competent inspirational sentiment. Weird. That had never happened before.

"We're family, you know? If we've got a problem, we deal with it together and... yeah, that's all a driver needs really."

Then, the penny dropped. "He's just saying lines from Fast and Furious!" Amir exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Jake like a drama queen.

"Oh, I didn't know that."

A groan went across the room because, in their minds, of course he would watch a movie like that. They would've bet so much money on the fact that he liked that franchise because duh. Fucking duh!

"You're telling me that you've never seen this very popular series of films that is literally car porn? I don't believe you," Kevin argued, raising an eyebrow sceptically at Jake who shrugged.

"I've never seen them!"

More and more arguments were raised between everyone. Jake had unexpectedly started a shit storm of his coworkers raising their many grievances with each other, and he hadn't really meant to. It was Jessie's favourite day ever - she's a messy bitch who lives for drama.

He got home that day and watched slumped down on the sofa, yelling out to Y/N who was somewhere in their apartment, "Babe, we're going to watch all the Fast and Furious' tonight."

Who would've guessed but he fucking loved em'.

#jake martin x reader #jake martin #the crew

[sabyfangirl16]

Chapter 6: To the Creature Rescue!

"Almost there," Aviva bit her lip, typing as fast as she could, "and... Listo!" A brand new, blue disc popped out of the disc maker, ending up in her grasp. "One green sea turtle disc ready to go!"

"Way to go, Aviva!" Koki cheered, before calling back the blue Kratt. "Martin, come in. The disc is ready."

"Finally!" Martin was still swimming, keeping up with the baby sea turtles for DNA activation.

"Send it Jimmy!" Aviva then threw the disc at the napping ginger guy, along with Martin's CPS.

"Huh, wha-" Jimmy suddenly woke up, just in time to catch the disc and the suits, "Woah! Got 'em!" He then placed them on the teleporter. "And zap it!" The items disappeared in the blink of an eye, before reappearing in front of the Kratt in blue.

"Alright, thanks Jimmy!" Martin caught his suit in mid-air, followed by the disc. He threw on his suit. "Insert disc, touch baby animal," his finger rested on one of the sea turtles' tiny heads, "activate green sea turtle power!"

A blast of blue encompassed the Kratt's form, morphing into a humanoid sea turtle. And just like that, he was ready to save the day. "To the creature rescue!" He used his flippers to swim at full speed toward East.

From his point of vew, Chris could see Gourmand getting ready to cook Emerald. His eyes widened as the chef approached the vulnerable creature with...a CLEAVER.

"Gourmand stop!" Chris let out just as he was about to use it. "You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can!" Gourmand spat, a shred of frustration in his voice. "I'll make a huge profit out of this meal," he grinned.

"Who would want to eat a sea turtle anyway?" Chris asked, in an attempt to buy more time.

"Me, of course, and people who will pay me for it," he shot him a malicious glare, sending chills down the green Kratt's spine. "And now..." He rose the large knife high in the air, Chris' eyes getting teary at the sight, before bringing it down at the turtle's neck.

"NOOO!" Chris looked away, his eyes closed shut, tears slipping from the corners. He waited for the sound of a blade slashing through skin... But it never came. Instead, was a sudden and unexpected-

BAM.

"Ow!" Gourmand shrieked, the cleaver flying out of his hand and into the water. Chris' eyes flew open as he took a look at the situation; Gourmand was holding his hand in pain, a metal object resting on the floor near him. Emerald seemed still alive. Immense relief washed over the green Kratt, followed by confusion.

"Where did that come from?" Gourmand growled, looking around for the source.

"The answer is right here."

A familiar voice came out of nowhere.

"Huh?" Gourmand looked puzzled. "Hey wait a second... I recognize that voice!"

"Martin," whispered Chris.

Out of the water, jumped a big blue turtle-shaped form, which was quickly surrounded by a blast of blue, blinding the chef. The form landed on the floor, not too far from the counter. Gourmand finally looked at the person, to find none other than-

"Blueberry?!" He was both flabbergasted and provoked. "Didn't expect to see yah anytime soon." He adopted a more defensive pose, as if he were preparing himself for a fight.

"Oh yeah, well I'm here to stop you from trying to cook our friend," Martin said proudly, none the wiser to the fact that Gourmand's hand, hidden under the counter, was feeling around for something that would help him deal with the disturbance.

Meanwhile, Martin stole a glance at his brother, then at Emerald; the sight of his hands tide up to that bar, and the creature helplessly lying on its shell rendering his flame of determination burn even stronger.

"Chris, you alright?" he finally asked, receiving a slightly shaken nod.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Chris gave him a faint but reassuring smile.

It was at that moment that the chef found what he was looking for. "Ah hah!" He took out his popular dough blaster, specifically designed for shooting sticky dough at his enemies, immobilizing them in place. Just as he was aiming at him, Martin swiftly backflipped into the water, avoiding the first couple of dough shots on the dot. Gourmand, utterly frustrated that he missed his target, went over to look down for the blue Kratt. Instead, he was met by a familiar blast of blue light, then nothing. He scratched his bald head in perplexity. "Where'd he go?"

On the opposite side of the restaurant, Martin hopped back on it after deactivating his suit yet again; a clever method for dealing with Gourmand. Chris couldn't help but snicker at the scene.

Martin then picked up a random rolling pin on the counter, before whistling. "Looking for someone?" Gourmand quickly turned around to find a mocking expression on the blue Kratt's face, along with the baking utensil at hands with which he was in a sword fighting pose.

Sensing a challenge, he dropped his dough blaster. "So you wanna play," he took out a slotted spoon out of his kitchen utensils' holder, getting in position. "Let's play." His honor was at stake.

The fight commenced; Gourmand lunged at Martin with an intimidating roar, striking down at him with the spoon, his opponent deftly parrying every attack thrown his way, Gourmand continued thrusting his spoon forward in quick movements as he danced around him, the clashing of wood filling the air. "Is that all you got?" Martin laughed, the chef only reacting by feinting a high attack, then quickly switching to a low strike, striking him in the side and sending him crashing into the corner of the restaurant, dropping his weapon in the process. "Not quite," Gourmand smirked as he marched up to the half-conscious Kratt, rising his spoon in the air after performing a flashy flourish.

Chris' eyes widened, his heart racing with panic. "Uhm, Gourmand!" The chef turned to look at him fortunately, temporarily distracted from his objective. "You know those were some- uh, really impressive moves," he managed to say, sounding awfully unconvincing.

Gourmand, however, couldn't help but brag, falling for the trick. "What can I say? I am Gaston Gourmand, the greatest swords fighting chef of all time!" What he didn't notice was Martin slowly regaining himself, his eyes landing on that same dough blaster from before, laying on the floor right next to him. Smoothly, he grabbed it before aiming at the preoccupied chef.

"Huh?" Gourmand suddenly looked down to find his own weapon about to be used on him, but before he could react, dough blasted him on the face, then on the legs. He fell backwards, finally getting a taste of his own medicine. He tried to speak but the dough on his face made it muffled and incomprehensible.

"Way to go, bro!" Chris cheered, Martin getting back on his feet and throwing away the dough blaster.

"It was nothing," he said modestly, filling up a cup of water and going over to pour it on the dough keeping his brother's hands imprisoned. "Thanks." They both looked at Emerald, still on his back and unable to move. "Now let's help the poor guy."

Working together, they lifted the heavy amphibious all the way to the water where he belonged, wiping the sweat off their foreheads and sighing in satisfaction. Their attention was drawn by the sound of Gourmand's struggling to get the dough off his face.

"Let's get outta here, bro!" Martin earged, grabbing his brother's hand and jumping into the water, following Emerald, before reactivating his sea turtle suit. "Hopp on!" he offered, Chris happily riding on his back. "Quick, let's go before Gourmand breaks free from the dough!"

With the help of his flippers, Martin swam as fast as he could, Emerald being his swim mate.

That evening on the beach, near the Tortuga, the crew - Aviva, Koki and Jimmy - were out admiring the calmer waves, glimmering in the sunset, giving off the sensation of peace and tranquillity.

"What a day," Aviva started, "at least everything's back to normal."

"Yeah, Emerald is safe," Koki continued.

"And we got Chris back," Jimmy added.

"And Martin is no longer afraid of swimming," Aviva finished.

"Speaking of those two, where'd they go?" Koki quizzed, Aviva and Jimmy looking at each other cluelessly.

"We don't know," Jimmy shrugged.

Suddenly, they heard familiar voices coming from the sea. The Kratt brothers were spending some quality time with their fellow turtle friend, swimming around and splashing each other like kids, Martin still in his suit.

"There they are," Aviva chuckled, Koki and Jimmy joining in turn.

At last, the brothers were met by a strong and unanticipated wave, sending them both back to shore and crawling out of the sea foam, Martin deactivating through it all. Then they dropped on the sand, laughing hard, the team exchanging amused and content expressions.

Finally, the two creature adventurers got into a sitting position, looking out on the beautiful setting sun behind the waves, illuminating them with golden strings of light, Emerald still joyfully swimming around, not seeming worried about anything. The brothers side hugged, the younger's head resting on the older's shoulder.

"Thanks for the save, bro."

"Don't worry about it."

And the sun disappeared below the horizon, giving way to a new twilight.

First chapter

Previous chapter

#wild kratts #kratt brothers #chris kratt #martin kratt #aviva corcovado #koki #jimmy z #gaston gourmand #wk fanfic #hurt/comfort #adventure #Afraid of a Little Swim? #fandom #fangirl power!

[storiesofsvu]

Second Chair Spark Ch 2

Warnings: Language. Normal svu case work

****

As it turned out, Mark Plaquin had his car completely detailed and cleaned out less than a week ago resulting in anything they found in the car being circumstantial. The rape kits came back negative for fluids, but positive for lubricant that matched Durex condoms, the bartender properly ID’d Plaquin in the lineup (along with the other victims, though two of them said they couldn’t really be sure, they had been so set on it being Martin from the app’s photo).

The squad watched in literal awe at the way you and Casey so seamlessly worked together building the case, practically finishing each other’s sentences, tossing out theories one of them would bring up with legal jargon they could barely understand. At the same time you were both throwing sass and quips at each other, annoyance, exasperation, and irritability burning in your eyes as they simply tried to stay out of the line of fire. Fin made a quiet crack about a bickering old married couple, the icy glares he was suddenly on the receiving end of quickly shut him, turning back to his paper work.

The Plaquin trial began smoothly, you found watching Casey move through the courtroom entrancing, she may have been a huge pain in the ass the last few weeks but she was damn good at what she did. Martin was on the stand being absolutely torn apart by the defence, who was trying to pin everything on him, and was making a very convincing argument of it. Something was piquing your interest though, Casey was distracted re-working part of her questioning while you pulled the case file to you, flipping through ’til you found what you wanted, confirming your suspicion. You turned, quietly whispering to Elliot,

“Please tell me you have a pair of gloves on you.” He furrowed his brows, 

“You cold Counsellor?” You rolled your eyes,

“No, crime scene ones!” Casey’s head turned at the sound, giving you a half glare a half ‘what are you doing?’ look. Elliot dug into his pocket, passing you a pair of latex gloves just as the defence finished their questioning.

“People’s witness.” Judge Donnelly turned her attention to your table, you quickly turned to Casey.

“Give me one minute, then you can start.” 

The look of perplexity on her face had you thinking she would turn you down, but she gave you the absolute curtest or nods. You moved to address Andrew.

“Mr Martin, before Ms Novak starts, I’d like to ask you to put these on.” You dropped the gloves onto the railing of the box, not surprised when a call for objection came from the defence.  Donnelly looked back to Casey, who returned it with a ‘she doesn’t belong to me’ exasperated look on her face.

“I’ll allow it.” You gave her a nod, then gestured for Martin to pull on the gloves before moving back to your seat to let Casey begin her questioning. Novak’s interrogation took roughly 15 minutes, before resting, she turned back to you, an eyebrow cocked. You stood, grabbing something out of your bag, swapping places with her in the room.

“Remove the gloves.” Martin did as you said, passing them back to you, “Now if you’d be so kind to raise your hands to the jury.” The moment he did the courtroom could see they were covered in bright red hives, “Mr Martin’s allergic to latex. The lubricant in the rape kits came back from latex condoms. If that’s what it does to his hands after a mere fifteen minutes I can’t imagine he’d want the same affect on his penis.” You tossed down the blister pack of Benadryl to Martin, cocking your brow at Casey, flabbergasted at the table.

“The people rest your Honour….” She spoke, the annoyance in her voice mixed with a sense of awe.

***

The jury came back with all guilty for Plaquin in less than 10 minutes. You moved out of the courtroom with Casey, Elliot and Olivia, pausing a few feet away from the doorway.

“What the hell was that!?” Novak started at you, not bothered by the audience.

“I believe the words you’re looking for are thank you.”

“How’d you know that would even work?” Elliot spoke up, 

“You can find out a lot about a person if you dig deep enough through their social media. His first kid was born when he was only sixteen, didn’t use a condom because of the allergy.”

“Next time I’d highly appreciate simply telling me, you could’ve blown everything.” Casey was back on her bullshit.

“Jury’s love a good show. Counsellor, you do remember I have a year of homicide trails under my belt, right? I’m your second chair, not your shadow and I just saved your damn case. You’re welcome.” With that you turned on your heel, you didn’t have to put up with Novak’s shit when you were doing your job and saving her ass. 

“She gives you a pretty good run for your money.” Olivia noted, Casey shot her a glare.

“Yeah. You’re not the one who has to deal with her all the time.” She rolled her eyes, making her own way out of the courthouse. Liv was right, you were good at your job, and you had saved the case, but there was no need to fucking showboat your way around the courtroom.

#casey novak #casey novak x reader #second chair spark #law and order svu #svu #law and order special victims unit #law and order