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wormstacheangel · 3 years

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December 12, 2021

Hello! Day 12 of my advent calendar is more Christmassy like I promised lol but can you believe destiel went canon for a third time wow okay well enjoy this story! Catch up on my domestic deancas advent calendar with this masterpost here!

Summary: The family goes to Christmas Tree Lane to show Jack the lights. Dean and Cas flirt with each other while Jack, the cutie that he is, tells some parents that their little girl is actually a boy. Enjoy!

Christmas Tree Lane.

That’s what they called these four blocks, maybe even more, of houses decorated so elegantly and yet haphazardly. It was astonishing to see so many lights piled on these houses and the yards covered in fake angels or what they believe was that nativity scene.

‘It was much more unhygienic than what these people are showing us.’ He told Dean in annoyance after they passed their third one. Dean just squeezed his hand and called him old.

A house was decorated to look like an actual gingerbread house and Jack reminded them that they have yet to make theirs. Dean laughed as a grimace fell upon Cas’s face but he promised to do that with his son soon. As long as they went to buy the terrible boxed versions because he was not going through that breakdown again.

They were just about to cross the street when Dean let go of Cas’s hand. He expected to feel an arm around him or some other form to replace the loss of touch but nothing came. He turned around ready to complain only to see Dean had run off to help someone carry a stroller up the high sidewalk.

“Thank you so much!” The woman sighed with relief as she flashed his boyfriend a bright smile. “If only my husband can be just as diligent.”

She motioned for the man who was standing by Cas, taking pictures of the house over and over again, before sighing. “He promised a family day but of course work comes first for him.”

“Sorry,” Dean scratches the back of his beanie covered head. “I don’t know why he’ll be ignoring such a pretty thing like yourself and this little princess,” Dean looked into the strolled to see a wide-eyed baby staring back at him as they chewed on some teething rings. “She’s such a cutie.”

“Thank you.” The lady blushed because being complimented by Dean Winchester does that to people. “Her name is Rosie.”

“Rosie.” Dean smiled down at the baby before looking up at Cas, his smile leaving the formal angel breathless. “Babe! I want one.”

Cas shuffled his feet as he felt his face warm up at that loud announcement. His arms crossed over his chest while opening his mouth to say something but his voice was caught in his throat before he narrowed his eyes at Dean. He threw his head back and laughed while Cas tried to keep from looking so fondly at the love of his life.

He looks so beautiful, Cas thought to himself as he made his way over to where Dean stood.

“I’m so sorry if my husband,” Dean raised an eyebrow at that but then a smile broke through his shocked expression. “Is bothering you.”

The woman's expression was the usual shocked one that strangers give them when they announce they are together but her eyes were still warm so that’s a good sign. “Oh, no bother! He’s been a lovely gentleman.”

“Hear that?” Dean leans into him, a grin on his face. “A gentleman.”

Cas fights the urge to roll his eyes but smiles back at the woman. “That’s so kind of you to think so.”

“Hey, friends of yours?” Dean and Cas both turn towards the man who wraps his arm around the woman’s shoulders. She automatically shakes him off and shoots him a glare. He seemed to ignore her and tried to stare them down. “I’m Ryan. Luci’s husband.”

Dean wrapped one arm around Cas’s shoulders while taking Ryan’s outstretched hand in the other, a cocky smile on his face. “Dean. This is my husband, Cas.” Cas gave him a small nod while trying to keep the polite façade on. “Over there is our son, Jack.”

Dean points at Jack who was wandering inside the yard of the gingerbread houses with the other children following behind him. Running around while their parents tried catching them.

“Jack!” Cas called out to him to grab his attention before one of the parents started talking to him. Cas would sure regret losing his angel powers if he ever finds another person yell at his kid. Jack looked up at him and lifted his hand up to wave. “Come on, meet the baby!”

Jack waved goodbye at some of the children before he walked over back to them. He waved up at the couple, Luci waved and smiled back at him and Cas instantly liked her.

“Oh, Rory!” Jack looked down at the baby, his eyes soft with familiarity. “He’s gonna be so happy when he’s older.” Jack looks up at them with a smile. “You two would be great parents to him.”

“She.” Ryan corrected him, softly as if not sure himself now when Jack sounded so confident.

Jack shakes his head. “No, I clearly remember-”

Dean shared a look with Cas knowing it was probably just the God magic in him that could read souls that Jack was referring too. Maybe not the best time to tell these parents about their baby’s future. Cas put his hands on Jack’s shoulders to pull him back to him before Jack opened his mouth to continue to explain.

“Jack, honey, how about let’s get some hot chocolate.” He started ushering Jack away towards a tent at the end across the street. He turned towards the couple. “Nice meeting both of you.”

“Oh, bye!” Jack waved at them. “Thanks for being so understanding. He will love you both so much!”

“Jack.” Cas quietly sighed before meeting Dean’s eyes for him to hurry up.

Dean gave an awkward laugh before saying his own goodbye and rushing towards Cas’s side.

“Kid, you can’t go around outing a damn baby.” Jack looks back at Dean with a confused but cute look on his face, mimicking Cas’s own little head tilt.

“I just wanted to congratulate them.” Jack defended himself as they walked over to the short line of what looks like crappy water down hot chocolate but something warm is exactly what they need right now. Plus, they were free. “Rory is going to do great things!”

Cas's smile was too fond as he looked at his own kid. Remembering when he was still in Kelly’s stomach and knowing Jack would do great things as well. Believing and loving him throughout it all.

“I believe you.” Cas tells him as he brings Jack into a hug. “Rory will be amazing. Just like you.”

Jack chuckled as Cas left kisses on the side of his face. “Dad, stop!”

“We can talk more about your soul readings later.” Dean tells him as they reach the front of the line. The lady at the front looked at them strangely before she smiled and asked how many they would want.

They walked the rest of Christmas Tree Lane. Watching Jack go excitingly from house to house already getting ideas to decorate their house for next year. Dean walked around with his arms around Cas’s waist as he hugged him from behind. Leaving kisses on his cheek and wherever else he can reach as the night dragged on.

“Husband huh?” Dean hummed into his ear as they walked back to the car with Jack finding new things to point out from the houses they just saw.

“Maybe...if you’ll finally propose to me again then maybe we can make that a reality.” Cas didn’t turn to look back at him, knowing Dean was already rolling his eyes.

“You’re such an asshole.” Dean muttered, a grin was pressed against Cas’s skin as he giggled when Dean nibbled at his cheek.

“Dad’s, can we drive past the lights this time?” Jack turned to look at them with a grin so big that neither of them can say no to him. Plus it gives Dean a chance to show off the reindeer antlers that Jack got for Baby.

Tag List: (Ask to be removed or added)

@galaxycastiel @superduckbatrebel @slipper007 @wikiangela @s-r-clowns

@ar-bi-trary @winchestcas @imlivingliferightnow @thefaeriemagic3

@bi-bi-marie @nguyenxtrang @dancerdovegirl

@chocolatecakecas @trasherasswood

@celestialcastiel @castiel-is-a-cat @theghostofchristmasfuture

#Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #My Writing #spnadventcalendar #destiel advent calendar #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #dadstiel is so precious #Jack #Jack Winchester #A Child

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sinplisticshawn · 4 years

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get your kicks - prologue: home

pic cred shawnmendesgallery

A/N: hello hello happy new year friends!!!!! this shitshow of a story is brought to u by my procrastination and @evansweaters ’s 2k writing challenge. i haven’t written in a loooooong ass time, but i really wanna get back into it so even if it sucks im kinda okay with that. gotta start somewhere!!!! so yeah here we go. hope i do ya proud sami.

prompt: road trip au + shawn mendes (ft. college!shawn and best friend!shawn)

warnings: language, some heavy-handed exposition pls forgive me lol

word count: 1.7k

______

Amelina had fully expected the house to be empty when she walked in. Four in the afternoon on a Thursday meant her parents were both still at work, and if she remembered correctly, Luis would still be in his last period history class that he raved about every time he called. All of this in mind, she found it completely fair that she screamed bloody murder when all six feet and two inches of white man greeted her with a tackle from behind and a shout of her name.

“Shawn, you absolute ass, what are you doing?” she questioned with a glare when he laughed with his whole body.

“Waiting for you to get home?” he said as if it should be obvious why he was in her house alone when his own home was right next door. “Rosalia said you were coming home today and that I was welcome to wait on you. So I did. I missed you.”

Amelina finally caught her breath and relaxed into his tackle, letting it become a hug. His grip loosened when he dropped his head beside hers and spoke — a little softer that time with his voice muffled in her shoulder.

“Seven months was too long, Lina.”

She squeezed his arm.

“I know.”

______

“Oh my god, and did I even tell you Liyah has a boyfriend now too?”

The incredulous look on Shawn’s face and the way he dramatically dropped the butter knife and bun he had been holding made Lina snort before casting her mother a knowing glance. Lina and Shawn had spent some time at the dining table catching up on their semester apart before her mother arrived shortly after her. After properly welcoming her daughter home, Rosalia asked them to make themselves useful and get started on dinner.

“Does she now?” Lina said, doing her best to seem oblivious as she tossed the veggies in the pan.

“Yeah! I’m gone for half a semester and I come back and she’s all curled up with this Rohail kid on our couch!”

“Rohail? That’s one of Luis’s friends. Nice boy,” Rosalia said.

“I don’t care if he’s a nice boy, she’s fifteen. Why does she even—”

“Lina, have you booked your flight yet?”

Shawn’s tantrum was cut short when Lina’s father called out to her from just outside the kitchen. He had arrived a bit after her mother and made a beeline for his bathroom after giving his daughter a hug. Fully refreshed and having changed out of his work suit and into his favorite cargo shorts, he walked in with his head down, phone in hand.

Lina could feel Shawn’s eyes boring into her back.

“Uh no– no, I haven’t.”

“Your flight?”

The two spoke at the same time, her voice suddenly nervous and his almost concerned. She didn’t take her eyes off of the sautéing onions and peppers.

“Yeah. LAX. I have an interview.”

Her voice stayed steady, but she let herself sneak a peek over her shoulder. Confusion was clear on Shawn’s face, but the slight tilt to his lip suggested hurt.

“Interview?” was all he managed to stutter out.

“My little Lina is in the final round of interviews for a very prestigious internship,” her father announced, pocketing his phone and crossing the kitchen to kiss her head with a massive grin. He really couldn’t be prouder, but in that moment, Lina found herself almost wishing he cared just a little less. Or at least was quieter about it.

“Oh shit,” Shawn said, his voice much softer than it was mere minutes before when he was talking about his sister. “Congrats, Lina. That’s real big.”

“Thanks,” she said quietly.

Sensing the tension, her mother cleared her throat and gestured to the window that faced the street.

“Looks like your parents are back, mijo. Amelina, why don’t you go say hello and invite them over? You dad can finish up here.”

Rosalia took the spatula and pan from her daughter and shoved them towards her confused husband. Lina nodded, thankful for her mother. She kissed her father’s cheek as a quick way of saying don’t worry, you’re only kind of in trouble before she gestured to the door at Shawn.

“So LA, huh?”

He fought to keep his voice even, walking casually with his hands in his pockets and kicking at rocks as they crossed the street to his house.

“Yeah. Yeah, LA.”

“So would you like… leave UC?”

“Nah, it’s just a one-semester co-op kinda thing. I’d be in LA for the spring taking online classes and working full time, then I go back next fall.”

“Oh okay.”

“Lina!”

Before the front door of the Mendes house was full open, Aaliyah barreled towards Lina.

“I missed you. Don’t leave me again for that long, damn.”

“Missed you too, hun,” Lina responded, finally letting go of Shawn’s little sister. “How is my favorite girl doing? How’d your one-month go?”

“It was so cute, Lina, oh my god. We went to the drive-in and—”

“You what?!” Shawn broke his silence, quickly moving from where he had been watching from the door. The smile he wore watching the reunion fell immediately and was replaced with a scowl. “And you!” he whipped his head towards his best friend. “You knew!”

Lina shrugged. Shawn huffed.

“No respect in this damn house.”

He brushed past his mom, quickly kissing her head before stalking off to the bathroom. Karen threw Aaliyah an inquisitive look as she entered the living room before rolling her eyes at her son’s dramatics. Finally, she made it to Amelina and enveloped her in a hug.

“Welcome home, love.”

______

Evening found the Mendes clan spread out through the Moreno’s living room in a post-dinner laze. Lina’s parents were in deep conversation with Manny while Karen, Lina, and Shawn grilled Aaliyah about her new relationship, but Lina’s attention was admittedly elsewhere. From where she was sitting, her entire left side pressed against Shawn’s right, she could feel his other leg shaking and his fingers picking at a thread in her jeans – an old habit of his that she had grown used to when they were younger but which felt oddly foreign after months apart. Like hers, his attention seemed split as he was only barely participating in the conversation he was so passionate about just hours earlier. While Aaliyah gave a dramatic retelling of her adorably disastrous first date, Lina turned to Shawn.

“You okay?”

As if the string suddenly stung, his movements froze, and he jerked his hand away. He mashed his lips the way he did when he was deciding whether or not to tell the truth.

“Can we— can we go outside for a bit?”

Lina nodded with some concerned hesitation, following as he stood and pulled her with him. No one seemed to notice or care as they made their way out onto the patio swing where he pulled them both down with a huff. They sat quietly, pushing off against the fire pit in front of them to make the seat swing. Amidst the silence, it was like the words had been punched out of him when Shawn finally spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me about LA?”

“It’s not a sure thing yet,” Lina mumbled. “I didn’t want to cause a fuss.”

“That’s the shit we’re supposed to talk about though! The not-sure-yet things. The ‘maybe’s and the ‘hopefully’s and the ‘I don’t know’s. I mean, fuck, since when do you avoid causing a fuss with me? Since when am I the last to find out?”

Shawn had sprung out of his seat and was pacing in front of her. Everything he hadn’t said since they were in the kitchen together that afternoon came pouring out between short huffing breaths, and Lina didn’t know what to do except sit still and quiet and listen as her best friend told her everything she already knew.

“I had to find out about Andy through my mom. I had no idea you broke up with her until two weeks later, and by then, I felt like an idiot even asking about it.”

“Shawn, I’m sorry.”

“And we said we’d never go longer than three months. We just doubled that and—”

“I know, and I’m really sorry that I couldn’t—”

“I don’t want you to apologize, Lina, goddammit. I get it. Life happens. I just…” His voice caught in his throat. With a sigh, he fell back into the seat beside her with his eyes closed. His voice was softer when he spoke again.

“I feel like I’m losing my best friend.”

As much as she wanted to reassure him, to flick him on the forehead and ask are you stupid?! she knew he was right. She had felt it too, and she didn’t have the will to lie to him and say that she didn’t.

“It’s not…” she paused, gathering her thoughts. “You aren’t losing me. We’ve just drifted, I guess.”

“That’s almost worse. That’s what adults say.”

“I guess that makes us adults now.”

“I don’t wanna drift, though, Lina,” Shawn admitted in a small voice as her reached for her hand. She let him have it on instinct, and he relaxed just a bit.

A moment of thought spent tracing her thumb over his swallow tattoo bred an idea, and the grin that overtook her face had Shawn confused and a little scared.

“Then we won’t.”

______

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just fly, mija?”

“I’m sure. This will be so much better,” Lina told her dad, beaming as she pulled on the straps of her backpack.

“Ready?” Shawn called out to her as he approached from across the street with his own backpack slung over one shoulder.

Between them was the large white van that would be their home for the next several days. Packed with luggage and pillows and blankets to last them until California and painted with phrases like “ROUTE 66 BABY!” and “SUMMER BREAK 2K19” courtesy of Aaliyah and Luis, it was truly an eyesore. And Lina absolutely loved the sight of it.

“Ready!”

______

A/N: i don’t have an update schedule for this, but i hope to stay somewhat regular. feel free to yell at me if i don’t. i also don’t have a taglist yet but if yall would be interested in that just shoot me an ask! hope you liked it and happy new year!

#samis 2k challenge #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes x oc #my writing

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naruhearts · 5 years

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14x13 First-Watch Thoughts: Dean Winchester, John Winchester and Destiel

Before I write a full proper review this weekend (and I plan to write a separate Sam post) (I’ll be missing other key details for sure) let me SCREAM about:

JOHN WINCHESTER FADING AWAY AT THE END OF THE EPISODE LIKE A GHOST INTO THE ETHER as the Winchesters said goodbye to him --> TPTB visually/narratively textualized his ghostly presence like we’ve seen in S13/S14 -- Ghost-Monster-Yeager-Michael epitomized figure. He loomed over Sam and Dean's lives (especially Dean's) as the core toxic remnant of their past that they internalized and which subsequently influenced them to live out their toxic life courses and crippled their healthy self-processes, yet John Winchester’s narrative cathartic (and redemptive) role was fulfilled during Season Who Am I 14.

DEAN: For the longest time I blamed Dad. I blamed Mom too. I was angry. [...] But to be honest I don't know who that Dean Winchester is [re: letting ‘some other poor sons of bitches’ take Sam and Dean’s place if they were normal].

DEAN: I'm good with who I am.

Dean ACTUALLY used his words and disclosed the sources of his trauma and parental neglect *screams* He self-introspected during the dishwashing scene in the kitchen -- the Heart and Home -- by precisely doing what we expected/hoped for him (and Sam) to do: reflecting on their current lives in response to 2003!John Winchester’s resurrection and determining what really holds true value and worth...what holds more fulfilling love and true heart’s desires than a pearl ever could --> Found Family. DEAN, recalling that life is short, accepted his current respective life with Cas and Jack and stressed the self-fulfilling importance of why their lives turned out as such. What they went through since Mary died in 1983 moulded them into who they are today. HE ACCEPTS WHO HE IS!! Dean accepts who Sam is. Sam and Dean, as grown men, become the optimum versions of themselves where their physical, emotional and mental suffering was, of course, undeserved, but also ultimate self-cathartic blessings in disguise: it contributed to their both their psychological resistance and individual journeys towards self-actualization as they create interpersonal bonds with others outside themselves. THEY LET GO.

JOHN: I'm so proud of you boys. I love you both...so much.

THE LONG-WANTED AND LONG-OVERDUE PRIDE AND VERBALIZED LOVE FROM A FATHER WHO ABUSED HIS SONS FOR YEARS. He finally told Sam and Dean that he loved them. He asked for forgiveness, and they freely chose to give it, additionally permitting themselves to embrace cathartic closure. Now THAT is how you transform trauma into your self-motivational strength!! In particular, we knew *points at all the extensive John vs Dean meta* that Dean yearned to hear those direct words from John. He yearned for years. For Dean to hear it spill out of John’s actual lips -- to hear John verbalize how much he loves Dean, how he’s proud of the man he has become -- after everything Dean has done for him -- is sheer meta fulfillment executed in the most emotive way. Instead of watching his son die without fostering altruism e.g. 2x01 In My Time of Dying, we see John watching his son LIVE and grow -- exercising his agency, formulating decisions for himself, and finally discovering SELF-WORTHINESS. SELF-LOVE. SELF-ACCEPTANCE. John also told Dean that he “never meant for this. I guess I hoped that eventually you'll get yourself a normal life. A peaceful life. A family.” Well--

Dean told John he does in fact have a family, topped off with the smile of utter happiness on his face.

He chose his own timeline in which Cas and Jack exist. He chose his Found Family.

It’s intriguing to note that, in the context of John hoping Dean would have “eventually” obtained a “normal life�� -- a “family” -- for himself, if we go off SPN’s constantly-reiterated narrative differentiations between familial family (brothers) and intimate family (husbands, boyfriends, girlfriend) aka Love and...Love, the unsaid connotation of ROMANTIC family applies here, as @thetwistedwillow and I discussed. Sam is Dean’s family, but John isn’t referring to him.

John is referring to Dean getting himself an Apple Pie Life™ -- one that Dean initially tried with Lisa and Ben Braeden but couldn’t sustain; Dean seeking marital happiness outside The Life™ was NOT personally/characteristically feasible. It entailed burying vital truths about himself -- imprisoning his non-performativity -- as a broken man within a broad illusion of Want vs Need whom Lisa also tried and failed to fix...failed to make whole despite Dean once telling her that she comprised his happiness long ago.

Indeed, the present era of Season Cyclic 14 ushers in truth.

Dean has a family with “someone who understands The Life™.”

This aforementioned Life™ -- regardless of it being full of pain, horror, and death -- offers Dean joy, security, and new beginnings.

Cas and Jack, willingly choosing to incorporate themselves into The Life™, are the mirrors of freedom to Lisa and Ben’s jagged misfortunes.

They accept who Dean is wholeheartedly. They lend him purpose, zeal, and love -- buckets of love. They are aware of his faults. They encourage his strengths. They represent his faith and his hope.

(Cas, more than anyone, is indelibly aware of Dean’s capabilities.)

In terms of communication, Dean told his brother Sam that he loves him in 14x11 [for attempting to find another way re: Michael]. He directly told his mother Mary that he loves her in 12x22. Tonight he finally told his father John that he loves him, too. ALL the emotional honesty and transparency, my friends!!

Who else is left for Dean to say such significant words to? WE JUST DON’T KNOW!

- - - -

14x13 practically crossed off most of this + my entire SPN300 checklist!!!

- CHOSEN FAMILY VS FOUND FAMILY themes - S14 Dean encountering/hearing about the Castiel of Old—the Angel of the Lord who hasn’t yet built a trustful and ever-complex ten-year relationship with him - Sam finally rectifying and clarifying things with John as a grown man!! TPTB know what 14x13’s premise means for Mary Winchester and TFW’s characteristic arcs aka EMOTIONAL CHARACTER-DRIVEN NARRATIVES. They are facing their pasts and must subsequently introspect and FINALLY act upon their WANTS vs NEEDS. Bros (Dean the Emotional Hero of SPN in particular) may have wished John was alive, but is it worth losing Cas and Jack? - Is it worth losing the real Cas Dean knows? Worth replacing the angel who executed his own choice to Fall, embodied his newfound humanized principles and willingly became part of Dean’s life? - (And here the focal point of the Destiel-adjacent 14x13 narrative comes in) If John didn’t die, Dean’s life course progression towards self-actualization (with Cas as a key aspect of his psychological realizations; Dean and Cas as both each other’s offsets to healthy self-process) wouldn’t have happened. Losing Mary—losing John—ALLOWED Dean to, despite all the unfortunate circumstances, endure necessary pain in order to heal…to: A. release himself from the shackles of predeterminism, Brodependency, parental absenteeism, repression, toxic misemotionality, and trauma + eliminating the old perceptions of himself as a blunt tool: his father’s hammer and society’s hammer and B. embrace his reflection that he sees in the mirror of his identity - Is alive!John truly what Dean WANTS? What he NEEDS? Dean and Sam, confronted by personal ultimatum in terms of their individual relationships with John and the psychological states/growth stages his death left him in, must decide! - TL;DR character development - And, of course, proliferation of endgame Destiel in some way (not a BIG way yet, but building blocks) from this point onwards and subtext moving into its final pre-text phase as I hope/expect Dean to choose his reality with Cas

(I’m expanding on the last point in a bit!!)

I have LOTS of additional thoughts (tbh they’re all an incoherent jumble lol), but as of now I’d like to say that nothing else can surpass the heartwarming satisfaction that bloomed in my chest over the way Dabb and Glynn beautifully interweaved the narrative’s Family/Love/Forgiveness/Self themes into an episode full of amusing callbacks e.g. Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie (there were a LOT of easter eggs I tell you) and heavy-weighing characteristic ones e.g. Goodbye Stranger Destiel redux -- and oh my gosh, the Dean and Cas narrative callbacks we received tonight, where Dean couldn’t believe that OG Cas had NO recollection of him?!

I don’t know about you, but the romantic subtext smacked me in the face; the negative spaces and unsaid verbalizations were glaring. I was, quite frankly, thumping the table in excitement, because alongside the explicit and gorgeously done Lazarus Rising redux scene -- in a PIZZERIA no less *gestures at Cas = Pizza D/C bonding meta and romantic connotations* -- Sam and Dean confronting OG Cas depicted Dean and Cas' current relationship and dual growth reverting to zero in this AU.

It was a painful encapsulation of the unstable past vs healthy present.

Castiel the Angel of the Lord was non-humanized and never saved Dean from Hell. Emotional detachment and warrior-obedient violence resurfaced as his characteristic markers.

Dean, whom Cas -- from the point of first contact in realtime canon -- forged a profound bond with (the bond that proliferated into an intrinsically complex underlying romance narrative which worldwide audiences have been devoutly privy to) was struck by harrowing shock here, and TPTB took intentional liberties to visually fixate on Dean. Sam, on the other hand, reacted via wariness, and he was placed in the periphery -- blurred out to juxtapose their varied emotions of brother and husband; one of these is, as per usual, not like the other.

Dean realizes the integral role Cas currently holds in his life -- how far they’ve come together, in that the Goodbye Stranger parallel scene between him and Cas has him begging for Cas to stop -- to no avail -- and my heart lurched awfully when Cas made no move to do so. Dean fails in breaking his personal Naomi bred-reminiscent Soldier coding because we all know this certain iteration of Cas never freely chose Humanity.

He never Fell, never embodied the human principles of free will/autonomy and self-identity, never found kinship, and never fell in love with Dean.

Keeping the above in mind, when the real Cas comes back to the bunker after the ever-palpable and necessary self-catharsis that occurred during his absence, TPTB’s narrative brings the episode’s thematic premise of WANT vs NEED full circle as Mary, Sam, and Dean witness his entrance.

Sam and Mary are awed after the temporal fracture ordeal they just experienced, but there lies, once again, a certain cinematographic focus on (12x19-reminiscent) Dean.

We observe Dean’s onscreen expression of raw appreciation and self-conviction in that he has realized, amongst the throes of meta-laden cathartic self-acceptance, that everything he encountered since childhood -- the good, bad, in-between -- was worth it. This current canon reality is his heart’s deepest desire. He accepts it. He WANTS it.

For Dean Winchester, a life without Cas is no life at all.

RATING: 10/10

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spaceorphan18 · 5 years

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Finding Kurt Hummel: Transitioning

Masterpost

6x07: Transitioning

It’s not really a surprise that an episode called Transitioning is in the smack middle of this shortened season. It certainly makes much more sense than Swan Song being in the middle of the season, lol.

So, we get a lot about Beiste, and Trans rights, and a whole lot of stuff I’m happy not to touch. And we get a, well, sort of awkward Kurt and Blaine story. Truth time - I was really disappointed by this episode first time around, because I wanted it to do more. It’s grown on me a lot, but I still have a few minor nitpicks about it. But - the two things that really stand out to me in retrospect are a) this particular story line is more about Blaine than Kurt -- Blaine’s the one going through a transitional period back to Kurt and b) the pacing of their story is fine through the episode - it’s really, unfortunately, the wedding episode the botches the ending.

Growing Up

It’s nine minutes into the episode before we see our dear Kurt. A quarter of the episode! Ug!!

And - it’s Sam who’s carrying Rachel’s emotional baggage this week and dragging Kurt with him. So, Rachel’s dads are selling the house (which is the reason they got a divorce - so that Rachel is forced to move out and grow up. Good lord the lengths these writers go to - to teach Rachel a lesson). Sam goes on about how Rachel’s making a difficult transition into adulthood - one that they’re all going through, but the rest of the characters don’t matter - just Rachel. She’ll carry this theme for all of them, lol.

I also love how Glee’s like - okay, bam, Rachel is now dealing with adulthood, as if the past few years haven’t really counted. But - you know, it’s the end of the series, and that’s when these big life changes actually happen.

Anyway - anyone up for meta’ing the giant spider on Kurt’s shoulder?

Wheel of Destiny

So - they interrupt the weekly lesson of Ohio artists (sorry Kitty, no Marilyn Manson for you), so they weekly theme can be transitioning. Kurt says that sometimes life throws you a curveball and sometimes you just have to go with it. Huh. Foreshadowing? I think so...

Blaine then goes on this long thing about Rachel having trouble facing adulthood, and how are they going to help her deal? Why - throwing a party because that’s what adults do, lol.

So. Picking names out of a hat for duet partners is boring, so Artie constructed a giant wheel of names! I mean, why not - it’s fun. And it’s Kurt turn! The wheel /almost/ lands on Artie, but Kurt gives destiny a little push and makes it go to Blaine. And -- just look how shocked he is for that to have happened, lol. I love this Kurt - manipulating things to turn out how he wants them. I haven’t seen him pull this kinda thing in a long time, and it’s hilarious and adorable. You go sing that duet with your sweetheart, Kurt!

After the meeting - Kurt catches up to Blaine (who is kinda secretly thrilled with Kurt’s meddling). However - Blaine’s concerned about the whole thing - cause Karofsky might just get jealous. Kurt thinks that’s silly -- and there’s a little bit of frustration there - cause I mean, Karofsky already has him as a boyfriend, he can’t keep them from being friends, too...

Blaine states that Karofsky might think there’s something still between them. And Blaine wants Kurt to say -- why yes, yes there is. But he doesn’t - cause he feels like Blaine’s made his choice, so really, Kurt needs a sign from Blaine that there isn’t... Hmmm, I wonder if that’ll happen.

And then we get this whole awkward hug thing, which Kurt isn’t really sure what to do with. And I’m not really sure what to do with Kurt’s final reaction here that’s a little -- oh, well, huh, that just happened. I would have Kurt smile a little at the end of it - but I guess the director wanted to go for ambiguous?

Which leads me to say this -- this episode I found difficult and unsatisfying the first time I watched it. It’s grown on me a lot since then, but I think one of the things I was jarred by was that up until this point, we’ve had mainly Kurt’s POV on the whole break up thing - but this episode is nearly all Blaine’s POV. And I get it, we needed to get him to the point of breaking it off with Karofsky. But seeing everything through Blaine’s eyes when we’ve been with Kurt so much this season feels like a strange switch up in a few places. This, I think, is one of them.

Everyone’s Favorite Gays

So -- Rachel’s party has started, and it must be a different day because Kurt has changed his clothes. Also - Sam mentions he’s slipped a little something in Kurt’s drink - which is a nod to the fact that he’s over 21 now. I mean, we were all waiting for that top happen, this is just confirmation.

I’m also slightly uncomfortable that a group of college students who are acting as teachers and mentors have invited a bunch of high schoolers to a party with alcohol at it - but Glee doesn’t seem to care, so I’ll just look away. It’s not like it’s a plot point. Though, man, who wouldn’t want to see Drunk!Kurt - that would have been fun.

Anyway - Mercedes and Roderick sing All About That Bass - and it’s super fun and light. Kurt’s not in it very much - but he’s bopping along right with Mercedes. And one point Blaine shuffles over towards him, and they dance together for a hot second - but then Kurt’s mysteriously absent for the last minute or so of the song. Not sure what happened there.

So - after a scene of Rachel and Sam hooking up because Rachel’s afraid to leave her childhood behind (um, okay fine) - we get Kurt and Blaine’s duet, which is Somebody Loves You. And I just love every iota of this song. The last time either of them sang was that dreary and depressing Carole King song back in Jagged Little Tapestry - now they have a fun, upbeat, song about being there for the person you’re in love with.

I could pretty much quote all of the lyrics here, oh and here I will...

Who’s around when the days feel long Who’s around when you can’t be strong Who’s around when you’re losing your mind Who cares that you get home safe Who knows you can’t be replaced Who thinks that you’re one of a kind

Somebody misses you when you’re away They wanna wake up with you everyday Somebody wants to hear you say Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you

I’m around when your head is heavy I’m around when your hands aren’t steady I’m around when your day’s gone all wrong I care that you feel at home 'Cause I know that you feel alone I think you’re going to miss me when I’m gone

Somebody misses you when you’re away They wanna wake up with you everyday Somebody wants…

So - the thing I love about this song is that Kurt and Blaine pretty much trade off on all the lines. But the point is - this song is about both of them, and how they feel about each other. I love the message of - hey, someone loves you - and they’re going to be there for you when life sucks. I think especially, I enjoy the part where it says - somebody misses you when you’re away. Cause I have to wonder if they are back at the point where they miss each other when they’re not around.

I’d also love to know how they decided this would be a good song to sing. Cause, seriously boys, serious overtones here, lol. Plus - I want all the texts and conversations they had about doing the song -- more reconnecting!!

While this song is one of my favorite Klaine duets - I’m not sure it’s one of my favorite performances. It’s kinda reminds me of Just Can’t Get Enough - when there’s a ton of other things going on taking away from the Klaine time, lol!

But importantly - Kurt’s just having a fun time, sing his little heart out, wearing an astronaut costume, and playing with a blue feather boa. (Oh, the boas are their proposal colors - nice touch props.)

And of course, during the song -- Blaine is zeroed in on. He’s getting his heart eyes back - because as Kurt just kind of bops around in (sorta) his own little world - Blaine’s noticing, and falling in love again. We’re almost there, guys... almost.

After the show’s over - Blaine decides to get outta there - because the feelings are too much!! But he claims it’s because of a Karofsky reason. Feeling guilty, Blaine - uh, yeah something like that.

Anyway, Kurt is a little bummed he has to go. He had a ton of fun dueting with Blaine, and he’s missed it because they haven’t done it in a while. (Also a metaphor, people!! okay maybe not - but I’m making it into one.) Anyway - all this talk brings them back to Baby, It’s Cold Outside - yes, the time they did sound the greatest. And Kurt admits that way back when - all he wanted was to make out with Blaine.

It’s a sweet little moment at they remember - and Blaine wonders why he just didn’t kiss him - and Kurt throws out the whole Jeremiah thing (god - you guys remember that??) Well, Kurt and Blaine barely remember that - because Kurt doesn’t remember the dude’s name, and Blaine totally forgot the guy existed. Because in this moment, they’ve both only got heart eyes for each other.

Kurt then starts in on how crazy it is that some people mean a lot to you at some point in time -- and then stops.... because Blaine’s lips come crashing to his. But.. I kind of love this little moment, where - it’s sorta like saying, oh hey, we meant so much to each other, and then you move on, but nope - sometimes some people mean so much to you -- and they still do after all the time that’s passed, and after all the stupid things you’ve done.

So, um, yeah, Blaine and Kurt are kissing again. See - the kiss in the elevator? That was a forced thing - and yeah, they felt something, but it wasn’t of their own volition. This kiss is mostly for Blaine - a chance for him to figure out if what he felt in the elevator was real, or if it was just the heat and the manipulation. Turns out - oops, yeah, totally still has feelings for Kurt... And thus, he jets outta there, cause he still, technically, has a boyfriend waiting at home for him - and he really doesn’t need to add another cheating incident.

Meanwhile - Kurt’s just stunned. Blaine not reciprocating back is something he was beginning to get used to. Blaine turned him down when Kurt came back for him. Blaine was the one that insisted that the elevator kiss meant nothing. Kurt’s happy that their friendship is back, and all the rest of it he can compartmentalize. But this? This is confirmation that Blaine still has feelings, and that’s something huge!

Kurt’s left kinda stunned - what does all that mean? Why did he do that? Does he want more? Why’d he run off? Just a lot of things swimming through Kurt’s head as Blaine pretty much runs away.

I’m okay that Kurt doesn’t run back after him -- this moment is for Blaine to realize his feelings. Kurt already knows his, and he’s not going to push at Blaine any further than he already has.

But -- I will say this is where the narrative gets a little clunky heading into the wedding episode. Blaine’s still got some stuff to do -- mainly break up with Karofsky. But really, this is the point where Kurt needed to ditch Walter and have a conversation with Blaine about feelings - because clearly feelings are still being had. Unfortunately, this is not what we get (because Glee needs it’s third party drama). But I’ll get more into that when it’s more relevant.

Time After Time

Klaine time is cut short by Rachel and Sam needing to sing 80s love ballads to each other. And then there’s a whole montage where they all help Rachel take down her memory wall - and this is the closet we get to a clip episode, lol (which is fine - clip episodes are dumb).

I don’t know what picture Kurt takes down! But, you know, it’s one of those moments where you look back at the old memory and smile, but it’s fine because growing up isn’t a bad thing. It’s just... different.

Also Kurt (and Blaine) are helping Rachel move -- I kind of wonder what awkward conversations happened that day that we didn’t get to see, cause we know from Karofsky it’s been a few days since the party before they break up. Ug, Glee, all these untapped things...

The Break-Up

Obviously, Kurt’s not in this scene, but I feel the need to go over it, because it does, in part, pertain to Kurt. And because I think it’s a nice scene. I’m going to give Karofsky a little bit of credit here, and say he isn’t entirely dumb. He knows Blaine’s been acting weird, and he’s known that since Kurt’s been back in town, their relationship wouldn’t last that much longer. (So then why did you move in with him, weirdo?)

Blaine’s been feeling guilty - because Karofsky turned out to be an okay guy, and Blaine had convinced himself that he really had moved on past Kurt. Well, no, everyone and Karofsky could see otherwise. And Karofsky is pretty nice about the whole thing (which I think is to show just how much Karofsky has grown, too, over the years). He’s got a whole bunch of guys ready and willing to date him. It’ll suck - but Blaine can’t change his heart and more than Kurt can. So Karofsky let’s him go.

I think one of the interesting things in this conversation, is that Karofsky tells Blaine to just tell Kurt, not sing it. And I feel like that goes with the whole growing up theme. A lot of the time, these boys have sung their emotions through song - and that’s fine, but it’s also been part of the fantasy -- but part of the Klaine narrative has been a shift from fantasy to reality, and this is one of the last parts. And Blaine’s ready to take that step - to grow up and be a real boy, and be okay in his not-ever-changing feelings towards Kurt.

So - Blaine gets running and goes for Kurt. How does he know Kurt’s there? Is this just after school? Why is Walter meeting him there of all places? Idk - the set up of this scene is a little awkward when you thinking about it too much, but I’m really not supposed to.

The point is -- Blaine is ready to confess his love to Kurt -- again. He even wears the bowtie he wore at the proposal (do you think Kurt didn’t notice that? He did). But --- one awkward little thing. Kurt’s about to go on a double date with Walter, Rachel, and Sam.

So Blaine -- doesn’t say anything. And actually -- this is a good thing for Blaine! Honestly, it is -- it shows growth. He let his life be dictated by his relationship with Kurt once, and he’s going to do what he didn’t before -- let go and let it be. It’s not an appropriate time for Blaine to tell Kurt that he and Karofsky broke up. But even more so, it’s also not his place to intervene in Kurt’s dating life and more than it was Kurt’s to intervene in his relationship with Karofsky. Blaine’s trying to give Kurt the space he hadn’t given Kurt before.

Kurt lingers just a little as they all head out. He knows Blaine’s lying about being there for Rachel. There’s a little bit of longing there, and a lot of concern. And oh the angst is hard core in this moment, as Blaine just stands their alone.

Kurt knows and is aware that Blaine’s feeling something. He’s ready for Blaine to say something. Look, Walter does not matter (and by the sound of it, Kurt’s been talking to Walter a lot about Blaine - since Walter clearly knows who he is, and is slightly feigning politeness when Blaine shows up). But Kurt’s ditched both Chandler and Adam pretty quickly for Blaine, and he’ll do it again with Walter.

Just this scene -- isn’t the right time.

This scene, actually, works for me pretty well - and I’m not frustrated with this episode like I was when I first saw it, because this is the transition episode, it’s supposed to end on this angsty note. My issues are really with the beginning of the wedding episode. It’s clear they wanted them both to have a run to the other moment - and sure, Kurt will do that -- but Kurt lacks a defining catalyst for him to do that, which makes it feel a bit awkward and weird. But, I’ll dig into that in the next episode.

Turning the Corner

I am not going to comment about the Beiste story line - because I don’t have an opinion on it, nor do I think it’s my place to have an opinion on it. But it’s nice that the trans choir had a chance in the spotlight on this show - and it really is a lovely moment. Kurt and Co are off to the side cheering them along.

Hey! It’s Kurt and a piano - I kinda like that that’s still a thing.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this scene - I feel like Will coming back to McKinley marks the beginning of the end for the narrative focus on Kurt this season. Even this scene is really more about the dynamic of Will and Rachel - Kurt just kinda happens to be there.

But, I mean, part of the whole transition theme is to get these guys in position to wrap up their story. Will is going to be back at McKinley, while Kurt and Rachel go off to do what they’re supposed to do.

The best part of this little ending scene, however, is the last bit. First of all, Kurt can’t call Will ‘Will’ - because that would be weird. (Just the way Chris says it cracks me up). And then Kurt wants to do a Britney 3.0 week? Really Kurt? Really? And then Will asks if the kids have emotional issues, and Kurt’s like - yeah, I don’t get involved in that. BECAUSE SERIOUSLY HAVE SOME DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR KIDS WILL!!

But yeah - it’s a little bittersweet of a moment as we wrap up a lot of what I liked about the season to move on to things I’m not as fond of. Ah well. :)

#finding kh #kurt hummel

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