@se7ens-oc-heaven gave me permission to write fics about xeir fantrolls and the first thing i did was make one of them Very Sad :)
without context found in the @chaosbound-official server (which i highly recommend joining because CB/AT is mind-blowingly wonderful) or reading THIS related fic this may not make much sense but it’s still some good old-fashioned end of the world angst featuring moirails Harris Longvo and Rubele Excrim, i love them and you should too
i also recommend reading THIS as chronologically that fic happens in the middle of this one
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You could feel it before you saw it. A miasma that clung to the buildings, a haze over the faces you passed in the streets. Incurable, terminal, imminent.
Maybe that's why you didn't notice how strongly it clung to Rubele until he gently extracted himself from your grip around midnight. The pile was warm and soft and the sound of the ocean outside was calming but your bloodpusher was racing before you could even open your eyes.
You can't let him go. You were helpless to do anything and it was futile to stop him but the irrational part of you clung to the idea of saving him from whatever fate was going to befall him.
His deep chuckle as he put his cool hand over yours made you far more emotional than you care to admit.
The problem was he had no idea how soon things would be going wrong. For wipes you kept silent as the horrible sinking feeling grew worse and worse. An attempt to shield him from the reality of the situation perhaps, but a decision that ached just as deeply as the thought of the world as you know it coming to an unavoidable end.
"Where are you going?" you asked, hoping he wouldn't pick up on the urgency of your tone.
He grimaced. "Ah, well… You know my most dreadful client, she's not one for waiting. We are meeting up to discuss payment and such, mundane things really. I should be back shortly."
There was something he wasn't saying. There were things you weren't saying either and that's what felt the worst about the situation. You couldn't save him and you couldn't tell him more and it weighed on you.
"Okay," you said, and he shot you a concerned look. Your voice must have cracked but you offered a half-hearted smile that seemed to reassure him. "Just... be careful," you finished lamely.
"Of course! I'll see you soon. Pity you," he trilled. You chirped back, putting so much feeling behind it and hoping he would feel it.
It wasn't enough, nothing would ever be enough to stop or delay the end you were forced to watch approach. You wanted to find the source of the horrible blackness that's seeping across your vision and crush it.
Instead, you stared listlessly from the pile as your moirail left his hive for the last time.
You don’t know when exactly he died. It shouldn't matter but as time passed you found yourself fixated. What were you doing as your moirail drew his last breath? What was he thinking, what were you thinking? Knowing Cruorr he was surely focused on whatever she was doing to callously end his life and the idea hurts badly enough to keep you frozen in place for hours.
That coldness seemed to settle in you the moment he left and grows by the moment until it is all you know. Nights blur together but you stay in his hive, knowing he would never come back but waiting, just in case.
The darkness is worse here, a thick fog you almost find it difficult to see through, and that feels like a hollow sort of reassurance that this is exactly where you are supposed to be anyway. If you were brave enough to look in a mirror, to meet your own hollow eyes, you would find it covered you just as thoroughly too.
Night fell far more heavily than it ever has and you know it's time. You step outside the hive and sit on the docks as bright pinpricks of light pierce the sky above and shake the ground as they land. The world is burning and screams fill the night but you hardly notice.
Hundreds of thousands of meteors bombard Facsimlae and you try in vain to feel something about it.
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I hate both Google Docs and Discord because they have forced me to post this here: a fantroll short story
I'll tag this too but content/trigger warning for some in depth focus on a troll being Faygo Drunk™
(Sorry i cant readmore because im on mobile WHICH HATES ME TONIGHT)
(EDIT: finally readmore, although I couldn’t do it before I added on which I regret)
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It's a fine night to go for stroll, you think to yourself rather decidedly. You had left your hive on somewhat of a whim, not really with any intention or concept in mind. It had been an impulse that you'd felt compelled to act upon. But despite its rather on-the-spot nature, it was a decision you're glad you made. The air felt crisp and clear, and the pink moon shone rather serenely over the cityscape as you walked leisurely down the street. You breath deeply, appreciating the pleasant chill in your lungs, and gaze around you through your tinted glasses. There weren't even any trolls acting up in the area... things were almost quiet and safe. You could barely recognize the neighborhood you called home, for how picturesque things seemed to be for the moment.
Of course, it was a moment that wouldn't last, and as your eyes land upon a form lying prone off the side of the road, all sense of calm in you is replaced with an urgent, familiar sense of concern.
You approach tentatively, rolling up your baggy coatsleeves as you study what you presume to be the scene of the.... crime? Could be a murder at least, but crime... depends on the troll.
As you get closer, you find it to be a rather shoddily dressed cerulean troll, his blood caste only identifiable by the blue symbol on his baggy shirt. His face was mostly obscured by messy, long bangs, but despite that you could still conclusively say that you don't recognize him in any manner. He appears to be about your age, if taller and more gaunt. You don't note any fatal wounds of any sort, or even any blood pooling anywhere, and as you kneel down next to the troll, a faint snore reveals him to be merely sleeping.
Despite yourself, you snort in amusement, both at the stranger and yourself. And here you thought he could have been in grave danger...! The only danger he was in like this was getting his pockets picked, really. Maybe a lynching, but only if the lowbloods are feeling cautiously rebellious tonight, really. And that doesn't seem to be the case so far.
Still... Something didn't seem right about this. You have a nagging feeling in the back of your mind, a familiar pull tugging at your thinkpan. Maybe you should try to wake him, just to be sure everything was alright. You're both the same bloodcaste, so the risks from being overfamiliar aren't TOO life-threatening...
"Hm-hhhm. Er, excuse me..." you intone, leaning somewhat over the troll. No response.
"Hello there...?" You try again, a little louder. Nothing. Frowning, you gently rest a hand on the troll's right shoulder and, still with no response, shake it firmly. His breathing shudders, but beyond that he barely stirs. Hmmm. Maybe it's a good thing you listened to that instinct after all. You pull out a small flashlight from your coat's breastpocket, and prop the troll up by the shoulder. Holding the flash light between your teeth as you readjust him, you pry open the ganderbulb not hidden by his mop of hair, shining the light into it. This seems to be what finally wakes him, and he shifts in your grasp as you examine his eye movements. Talk about a blown out pupil. A quick breath in reveals an unusually sweet scent, like he'd been coated in syrup. You'd recognize these signs anywhere. The troll seems for his part rather stunned, blinking as you release his eye and lower the flashlight.
"That explains it... You've been imbibing Faygo, haven't you?" You ask the other troll. He squints at you, still dazed and confused from being roused with a light shining in his eye. That look is answer enough. You shake your head slowly and click your tongue.
"Tale as old as time, that," you say, tucking your flashlight away.
"And such a shame, isn't it? High as we are on the hemospectrum, only to be used by those laughable purplebloods above us. You'd think we'd be above such indignities," you sigh, standing up and brushing the leaf blades off your kneecaps. You offer him a hand, but he glares up at you rather crossly. "Who th' fuck are you?"
"Of course, of course, I haven't introduced myself, have I?" Rummaging around in the same pocket you stored your flashlight, you produce a frondmade business card.
"My name is Harris Longvo, mediculler-in-training. Now, now, I know that look - "ceruleans can't be medicullers". BUT, we no longer live under the tyranny of The Condesce!!! It's centuries past time we started acting like it! And given we highbloods are still treated with some privileges- why not use this station for good? Take advantage of the vestiges of the old system, and use them to inspire a new one?"
You falter, seeing how unfazed your audience appears by the concept.
"Well, of course... this call to action is strictly optional, more of a personal choice really..." you mumble, glancing down through your thick glasses. The other troll sighs, still looking somewhat annoyed, and takes the card from your hand.
"Look, dude, just... whatever," he sighs, pulling himself up somewhat shakily as he stores the card directly into his sylladex.
"S'not like I'm gonna tattle on you to the drones.... 'sides, I could probably use a mediculler... I feel like shit right now," he huffs, as if trying to blow his bangs out of his face. You frown as you take a better look at him.
Initially, you had assumed his bedraggled appearance was strictly due to a day of intoxicated merriment - but the more you look at him, the more you notice other details as well. Some sunburn, the occasional bruise, and you think you glimpse an unusual scar by his collarbone, before he yanks his oversized shirt up to cover it from your scrutinization.
"You got a problem?" He growls, straightening up a little. You frown thoughtfully, finding his intimidation tactic a little lacking. It doesn't help that you can tell how bad off he is. Deep bags from little sleep, dry skin, chapped lips, looking fairly gaunt for a troll his height...
You understand now. In the process of taking just a casual jaunt around town, you've found yourself another "patient". One with low chances of recovery, if you're reading him right.
You can tell he's about to get really pissed off now, probably at your silence. You're not too bothered by this though, you've seen scarier trolls before.
"Not a problem at all, my fellow troll," you shake your head dismissively, unrolling the sleeves of your baggy coat.
"I was just thinking it was probably a good thing I was the one to find you... You certainly look like a troll who could use my services, if you don't mind my saying so."
He squints at you in thought, confused by your nonchalance, and opens his mouth to say something--
"And no, it won't cost you anything. It's not a scam, I don't need your caegers, yadda yadda yadda. I'm not a Tealblood, you know." A glance askance.
"All I would ask is for you allow me to... practice, my craft on you, if you need medical attention. I'm quite skillful, so the risk is incredibly low. But I do need to stay in practice with my tending, and it never hurts to have some live cases to sharpen my skills on."
He studies you, still distrustful.
You're especially going to be someone who need my expertise, you want to say.
But you refrain.
He wouldn't understand.
They never do.
That's always the most painful part.
"...fine, whatever," he relents with a roll of his visible eye.
"Got a prognosis for me now, 'doc'?" It's not so much a question so much as it is a challenge, as he folds his arms in front of him, rocking back on his heels.
"I don't know that I would go that far yet, but I will say you're not looking too good. You need to return to your hive for some 'coonrest. Eat something substantial, drink something other than The Clown's Sopor... perhaps apply some standard sopor to those burns," you add as an afterthought, gesturing to the darker patches of skin on his arms.
"But most importantly, take it easy for a night. Sit on your loungeplank, watch Grubtube or Grype someone... just don't run any errands."
He raises his eyebrow at you, as you stress your final words at him.
"Errands...?"
"Yes, you heard me, thus proving your auricular sponges work just fine. Excellent. Yes, errands. Any, and all, errands. Your errands, your lusus's errands... Stay inside tonight. Just, whatever you choose to do with your night... Don't. Go. Anywhere."
He frowns at you, his expression rather inscrutable. After a moment, during which you can feel him trying to read your thinkpan -to no avail, you might add- he scoffs and turns away from you.
"Fine. Whatever. Sounds like what I was going to do, anyways."
You watch him stalk off, that uneasy feeling still nagging in the pit of your grubchute.
It didn't work. You didn't change anything.
But his life is not yours to change. And you did what you could. All you can hope is that it'll change something before it's too late.
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